Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast The Fourth Worst Podcast on Running

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Warning: The following podcast contains jokes that some viewers may find disturbing. Listener discretion is seriously advised. 

And we are back wearing 15 hats with Dickie Bird contemplating a Guinness World Record attempt, eating more schnitzel than Josef Frtizl and Imac'ing our leg pit hair with a woman named Fanny. 

In addition Lewis is scouring Sanjay's top shelf for a copy of Razzle from 1985 to save looking on railway sidings, Sooty, Sweep and Sue have a squeaky threesome and a sneeze puts me out of action for 2 days.

We play a game of Cunt or No Cunt with the usual suspects, price up a Kenyan pacer and pitch a sitcom to the BBC sponsored by Enertor Insoles - the Insoles for Arseholes.

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For our anniversary episode we ask our twenty million listeners to make a fair and impartial decision based on the facts as provided. Is he a cunt? No. Is he Killian Jornet? No. Is there Strava proof? They need to know for their New York Stock Exchange listing. We also need to know the top 5 countries for banned athletes (hint: the top country is also the top country for world records too. Quelle surprise!).

And, as Rosie Jones wishes us happy 10th birthday, and Tactic Master Miller slips it in at the end, we let our thirty million listeners into the not so secret guide to looking legit, our red flags, we play a game of cunt or no cunt, and get PTSD trying to find a downhill parkrun with a bus stop at the start.

Before finishing for our forty million listeners with a flourish after we run two 24 hour races and a coastal ultra in the space of a week, and calculate the weight of malnourished twins and Joe Wicks' IQ before Stefan Trombone's brother Tuba plays us out.

Enjoy. Or don't. It is totally up to you.

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Buckets in!

More Mo Mowlam than Mo Farah, more Orville than Ovette, more Pauline Fowler's growler than Paula Radcliffe, and  more Roger De Courcy and Nookie bear than Roger Bannister, this is the 13th episode of the Fourth Worst Podcast on Running, the sporting equivalent of the Joey Deacon Memorial Swim, and it is the Hannover special, a recap of what would be my 100th marathon on my return to the capital of Saxony, a great weekend during which John’s red count went interstellar, as did our beer count as we were joined by Kazoo-masters Keith and Kyla, and Leaky.

We also talk London 2025, the controversy of Russ Cook, running drunk, running hungover, and try our best to annoy a former professional sportsperson, and no Gary Lineker. We have a new game relating to AI generated dolls, as well as your favourites Guess Who, Name that Tune and Fact Hunt.

Enjoy. Or at least pretend to.

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It is the musical episode, pop pickers. Now then, now then, we have the old and the new of the music world with us - we have Tony Blackburn, East 17's John Hendy, General Levy, Kanye East, Terry Giant Cock and Balls Rosoman, and The Run Chat Hour with their Eurovision entry Evening Bill. Sadly no Chesney Hawkes. I guess he isn't the one and only after all.

We also learn that Lewis is a shy pooper, Baz recorded this naked, Knees needs a new cleaner and John is between run clubs, marriages, and eBay short shorts listings. 

We cover the Abbott's Marathon organisation, £2 race discounts, unboxing wankers, renting moon shoes, raw dogging, A-races, and have a question from Kyla Miller accompanied by her husband Keith on the underwater bagpipes, so stuff this in your bomboclaat raasclaat club shorts and join the Chestnut massive. Wicked wicked!

C*nt warning - high to moderate (89)

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And we are somehow back for a bit of a running related gripe, on Amazon, Apple, and Spotify - so John is on the same platform as Fawking Adele.

We have Lewis' trench foot, bleeding nipples and projectile vomited flat coke. John's knitting injury, the doctor told him to give up his hobby, Baz getting back on it, and we learn the term "degloved" from special guest and northern medical professional Rachel "who left that bottle of Buxton there?" Vernon. Something that I will never forget, especially as it started raining in my house as John predicted.

We will give cut and paste coaches a bit of a kicking, and there is nothing on the online certificate they bought to suggest you don't deserve it, and salute our new hero Mr Giant Cock and Balls himself Terry Rosoman and his Manhood Masterpiece. There is the traditional question from Keith "One for the Ladies Miller" and his musical wife Kyla, to think she never had one lesson, and we push Mega Pint Running Club merch including a whole new nutritional delight.

PBs, race nutrition, injuries and their prevention, fact hunt (trying saying that without your teeth in, John) and we trial the new and improved 4th Worst Podcast formula with 100% more Bill

Shabba!

For those of you wanting to sponsor Terry for his Movember challenge, here is the link https://rokman.co.uk/pages/manhood-masterpiece

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If you want an analogy then this episode is a bit of a mixed bag and, much like Adele, is not to everyone's liking. We will cover a range of topics from activity tracking technology and StravaWankers, dry robes, role models and poor purchase decisions, to the cheats finding themselves subject to a marathon investigation by Messrs. Tavener and Murphy.

John had been drinking all day and gets a bit rowdy. He had to put more into the Swear Jar for this episode that he's paid in child support for his army of kids since the late 1990's and Lewis turned up with a thoroughly tanned perineum after cursing my Race to the Stones dry ground hope and making it rain every day since (the fucking witch).

Caution: May contain nuts

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It had all the ingredients needed to help motivate JK, Lewis and Crazy Baz Taylor on their Leeds Liverpool Canal ultra; namely me putting on my meditation tape voice, and a cast of a very unlikely pantomime including:

• International Running Coach Baz Tavener
• Sir Geoff Hurst
• Gary Robbins
• Rachel
• Donald Trump
• The Ladies
• Boris Johnson
• Keith "one for the ladies" Miller
• Mr Motivator
• Sean Conway

and many many more

We have mentioned it a few times on the pod, and no doubt it will be mentioned a few times more before we are cancelled, so here it is, for those who haven't heard it before, the Lees Liverpool Canal Motivational Podcast aka Move ya Bastards....

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The totally unexpected second episode, a surprise to everyone involved, and we discuss the disappointing London Marathon ballot process, run streaks and their detrimental effect on your health, the evolution of our running kit, Barry Chuckle not returning my calls, running memories, and Mr Tavener's Grindr profile.

We have a second question from One for the Ladies Keith Miller, accompanied by Kyla on the washboard, Snoop Dogg, Sir David Attenborough, a new AI generated theme tune and a game of Trousers or No Trousers.

Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics

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In this, the pilot episode, with a strong feeling that it would also be the last, the boys talk about why they took up running, their first race, their last race to show how far they've come in the last 12 years, their best or favourite race and their least favourite shit kicker of a race. 

We have questions from the legend that is Keith Miller, accompanied by Kyla on the spoons, advice from Gary Robbins, and the Johnny Depp drink-a-long game. What is there not to love?

#Trigger warnings (plural)

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This week Eilish McColgan joins for a heel kick and double thumbs combo as Stefan Tromboni pipes us into episode 6, in which we talk too much London marathon TV coverage, race shoes, spray on shoes, shoe subscriptions, and Cape Town marathon giving vouchers for shoes to try to become a major. 

We learn about Lew's deep deep love for Clare Balding, and John's hatred for clanky cups and cheating sticks on the South Downs, and me and Baz nip to the pub during Steve Southern's Ted Talk on supplements and VO2 Max.

And thanks to Ste for a fantastic performance. We do have to question if he was on the juice too as he even out-performed himself. 

Who need's greens when you've got Guinness? And who grows up wanting to be a triple jumper.

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The fun and games return with former international rugby referee Nigel Owens replacing Junglist musician General Levy (no one has ever said that before) for the drinking game, Lew loses his shit at the Casualty theme tune via Endel, a dubious world record at Chicago, and a sad end to the Camille Wikipedia story.

We give 5 star influencer shoe reviewers a good shoeing, we drown a few in their free ice baths, and the snake oil is thrown in the bin before being thrown in the sea along with Parkrun Tourism posters wondering if we are going to Slovenia and Austria or getting lost in Dulwich, and the Stay Toxic guy fucks up the intro.

John invites Felicity Kendall to a Spoons curry night bunk up, Baz's acorn sized bladder gets the better of him, Stefan goes bananas, Strava goes down, and Knees makes a red card choice of celebrities who ran the London Marathon. Now then, now then! And we have a live question from Keith and Kyla who grace our lug holes with Flight of the Valkyries played on the Kazoo.

Big up the Chestnut Massive! Gola on Bullseye! 

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After f*cking a wide necked bottle filled with ravioli (scientifically the most f*ckable pasta) we feel guilty about not following our "don't be shit" mantra and start to build up the progressive junk miles for Beachy Head marathon and the Kent 50.

General Levy and Tefan Tromboni return, John burns the candle out of all three ends in Barcelona, a lazy dog gets carried down a mountain, a fat cat walks for likes, and we go on the Fyre Festival Sandwich Run. Lewis cleans up a poonami of kitten shit and does some squats whilst running the bath, Baz drops a dress size and Darren throws up at 36,000 feet above Africa in a plane toilet, ticking off a bucket list item and then asks arguably the worst Fact Hunt question ever.

A social media villain gets his button mushroom knob out, influencers do anything for a jar of pickled onions and a woman gives birth on Strava.

Just you average day here at the Fourth Worst Podcast on Running.

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Somehow we are back from the darkest reaches of the north, smelling like knock-off jaeger and nan's old chair. We look back in anger at 2024, when Baz was guilty of partaking in the posh PE, John refused to wear period pants, Rach tripped over thin air, I left without saying goodbye and Lew had a very long wee.

We talk kissing men with OBEs (under the radar), the most drunk man at midnight mass, a potential dog Doris, googling thumb extensions and much much more including:

• Parkrun Tourism
• An overly lengthy recounting of Rachel's birthday party weekend
• Guess Who?
• Would You Rather?
• Bandit Clothing
• Abbott's milking the cash cow til it's udders run dry
• Carrot
• The Fourth Worst Running App
• and Fact Hunt

before finally saying fuck you 2024 and hellooooo to 2025 over a jug of something festive as we all sing Africa by Toto.

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To tide you over until John is out on day release here is the Fact Hunt compilation so far. More red cards than a 1970s Leeds game and more jokes than Miranda's whole career. Adele in, Wenger out for the Fact Hunt fun bus japes.

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Ho-Ho-Ho! And that is just John’s last three Dorises. 

Welcome to this, our festive offering. Now you may be saying, but D-Dog it is still only mid November. Well,  there have been mince pies and tins of celebrations on the shelves of Tescos for 2 months already,  and the BBC have announced their tortuous line up including surprise-surprise, more Mrs Browns racist Boys, and Miranda is back to somehow have her skirt caught in a taxi door and then ripped off on the way to… I don’t know… keep it festive… a children's nativity play…how droll so we are roasting the Chestnut Massives on an open fire, and who can stop us.

We have a box (hill) full of crackers this week including, but no limited to: 

A Barry bib bandit
Mr Motivator
Paul Chuckle 
Mr Methane the worlds only performing flatulist 
And Ste Southern is back to shout “snake oil” at insta ads 

So cum on ye faithful, and welcome to the 10th episode of the Fourth Worst podcast on running.

Always remember to wipe thoroughly.

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We are back for episode 9, and are about to send a strongly worded email to England Athletics and the Beachy Head Marathon organisers (dictated but not read) before Lew goes against protocol and questions the Fact Hunt facts, marathons are back on the shelves and November Rain is declared a tune by Mr Kennedy.

We rattle the charity tin with Mike EU Marathons Harley and empty chair John for the way home from a debauched weekend racing.

Also, John Kennedy from the Posh Universe pops in for the drinking game, we coat a few of the bad uns in the community and Baz breathes in a worldie's flatulence.

Enjoy. If at all possible.

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In this episode we were joined by our favourite doctor since Harold Shipman, the wonderful Kath Walker, man bun baiter and expert on all things sports injury related. It is Jackanory time with the first reading of our children's book Stefan Goes to the Running Show, we keep our fingers crossed to see if we win anything at the Fourth Worst Podcast on Running Awards, hear from Colin Jackson,  play Name That Tune - Kazoo Edition, bash runfluencers for being c#nts (as per), we take questions from the fans and showcase the shouty musical talents of the Meat Sweaters.

We also learned that Lew has Viking Hand Syndrome, no one thinks gait analysis at a sports clothing store is a good idea, nor are ice baths for sports recovery, and that Nike are pricks for their Pegasus marketing stunt.

You get  classic Parkrun Tourism, a joke about Shamima Begum, Beethoven playing at John's first wedding, and Crazy Jimbo sleeping standing up, and there is a MASSIVE fact hunt. Truly cavernous. Cavernous. Cavernous. (That was an echo. See what I did there?)

Tune in, tune out, and enjoy. But don't take it too seriously. It's only a laugh.

Evening Bill, and thank you marshal.