What happens when you stop playing it safe and start betting on yourself? In this episode, Jackie spills on how she shifted from burnout to bold moves, and what it takes to embrace that Main Character Energy.

Jackie, a former Main Character Energy Mastermind member, joins Lily for a convo about how she went from frozen in fear and burnt out to making some serious boss moves in her life. Together, they dive into the power of community and the mindset shifts that make growth happen. Spoiler: It’s all about trusting yourself, embracing the messiness, and going after what’s yours—whether it's your career goals or relationship desires.

We get into:

• How self-trust can lead to unexpected joy and experiences 
• Transitioning from a background character energy to main character energy
• “Whatever growth you are looking to make - if you put in the effort, it will come.”
• Taking imperfect action and claiming that things are working out - even when it feels uncomfortable 
• Jackie’s experience as a researcher of joy!

Links:
RSVP for Take That Risk with Confident Main Character Energy

Show notes:
http://datebrazen.com/blog/huge-risks-with-mce-with-jackie

 

Is it possible to stay true to yourself while navigating the world of dating? Absolutely! We’re pulling back the curtain with special guests Ali and Erica from Finding Mr. Height. Lily sits down with the duo to discuss how they decided to start their dating podcast and offers a glimpse into the clues, details, and breadcrumbs that help you figure out if someone is right for you. We also dig into the anxieties that surface in new and long-term relationships, offering strategies for navigating them with confidence and clarity.

You’ll also hear Ali and Erica's candid thoughts on their least favorite—and most favorite—pieces of dating advice. Plus, Lily explores some uncharted territory, sharing her take on long-term relationships. This episode is packed with humor and practical tips to help you own what you want and build strong relationships.

We get into:

• What inspired Ali and Erica to launch their dating podcast, Finding Mr. Height
• Spotting the subtle clues and signals to determine if someone’s right for you (or not)
• Relationship anxieties—whether you’re just starting out or deep in a long-term commitment
• Finding and building a meaningful relationship that works for you
• Ali and Erica’s top dating tips and the advice they’d rather skip

Links:
Finding Mr. Height podcast

Finding Mr. Height on Instagram @findingmrheight

Erica on Instagram @spericaa

Lily’s appearance on Finding Mr. Height

Show notes:
http://datebrazen.com/blog/finding-mr-height-ali-and-erica

 

Ever dreamed of writing a book or want to share your story and ideas? If so, this episode is for you. Lily welcomes Richelle Fredson, her incredible book proposal coach, on the show. Without Richelle, Thank You, More Please would still be a dream! We're diving deep into main character energy and how to bring it to your writing and publishing journey. We're talking about what it takes to get published, the importance of sharing your story, and how to boldly step into the world with your unique voice.

For nearly 20 years, Richelle has been a powerhouse in the book publishing industry. Known as the "six-figure book coach," she's worn many hats: publishing guide, guest teacher, and marketing strategist for bestselling authors. Now, she's here to help aspiring authors develop standout book concepts, killer book proposals, and vibrant online communities. Get ready to embrace your main character energy and share your story with the world, even if you don't think you're ready yet.

We get into:

• Conquering the anxiety of "shooting your shot"
• Flipping the script on imposter syndrome: embracing bold, messy action
• Richelle's take: "Who gets to write a book and who gets published?"
• Diving in: "You can start before you think you’re ready"
• The real talk on getting a book published
• The book proposal: your golden ticket to traditional publishing and ultimate self-advocacy
• Overcoming comparison and self-doubt to start telling your story

Links:

Richelle’s website

Richelle’s podcast Bound + Determined

Lily on Richelle’s podcast

You can pick up your copy of Thank You, More Please where all books are sold right now, and sign up for our book club at datebrazen.com/book!

Show notes:
http://datebrazen.com/blog/write-a-book-richelle-fredson

 

Lily welcomes three incredible humans to the podcast! Christine, Diana, and Trish were part of the in-person Main Character Energy retreat. In this episode, they join Lily to talk about what it was like to step fully into their main character energy within a room full of peers and share what it was like to own their power. We hope this episode inspires you to step into your main character energy in this season of your life. 

Hot-takes from this episode:

• The benefits of doing this work in a community: A community provides encouragement around reimagining what your love life can look like 
• “I can trust myself to make mistakes and not worry that it's not going to work out.”
• "Dating can feel isolating, but as the main character, you do have a supporting cast."
• Enjoy the moment and acknowledge you are exactly where you want to be. 

Links and resources: 
Follow Date Brazen on Instagram
Follow Date Brazen on TikTok

Show notes:
https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/bts-main-character-energy-in-person-retreat

In this week’s episode, Lily addresses some of the questions you don't say out loud and helps you to unpack them. Questions like, “Did I miss the boat? Am I too late?” or  “Is all of this work really worth it?”  When you gently bring awareness to your innermost thoughts and feelings, you can begin to move forward with self-compassion, emotional safety, and courage. 

Some of the questions that are addressed in this episode include:  

• How do I even start my dating life? I feel like I am late to the party.
• When is it too late to keep trying? I am 50, single, and never married.
• Will the type of person I'm attracted to be attracted to me?

Links and resources:
The Brazen Breakthrough Course
Follow Date Brazen on Instagram
Follow Date Brazen on TikTok

Over the last few weeks, we’ve re-aired episodes that covered the three pillars of Main Character Energy. This week the episode focuses on the pillar dedicated to courageous action. 

In this episode, Lily shares how you can go from feeling lonely and sorrowful in your dating life to courageous action. It all starts with the question that you need to ask yourself to define meaningful success and begin to root out scarcity thinking. Tune in to hear more. 

Stay tuned: Lily will return with new episodes in November! 

Download The Guide to Make Dating Feel Like Self-Care:
https://date-brazen.ck.page/c651f5218e

Show notes:
https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/badass-dating-action-plan

 

Over the next few weeks, we’re re-airing episodes that dive into the three pillars of Main Character Energy, while Lily recuperates from facilitating the Main Character Energy in-person retreat! This week the episode focuses on the pillar dedicated to self-trust.  

In this episode, Lily shares strategies you can take to increase your capacity to trust yourself in your dating life. Self-trust is built in small steps. There is no “arrived” point, there is only the next stop. Yes, you are whole right now. But there is still growth to be had.

Brazen Breakthrough Course:
https://date-brazen.mykajabi.com/brazen-breakthrough-course-sales-page

Show notes:
https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/giving-yourself-permission-to-trust-what-you-desire

Over the next few weeks, we’re re-airing episodes that dive into the three pillars of Main Character Energy: Permission, Self-Trust, and Courageous Action.  While Lily is recuperating and re-charging from facilitating the Main Character Energy in-person retreat; we thought this would be a perfect time to share some episodes from the Date Brazen podcast vault! 

This week's episode focuses on permission and boundaries.  You'll hear the dating boundaries Lily recommends as well as learn how to craft boundaries to invite in more self-care, how to protect your heart, and find people who are right for you. 

Brazen Breakthrough Course:
https://date-brazen.mykajabi.com/brazen-breakthrough-course-sales-page

Show Notes:
https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/boundaries-for-abundance-in-your-dating-life

“Will I die alone?”  This might be a question you’ve thought about but were too afraid to say out loud.  Or,  if you did say it, a well-meaning friend has replied, “No, you won’t!”  Today, Lily addresses this question and helps you unpack it so you can come out to the other side feeling more compassionate and connected to yourself. When you ask, “Will I just die alone?” you negate the magic, unknown, and awesomeness that is in store for you. Tune in to hear more! 

Episode hot-takes:

• A thought is not a fact
• Step off the mental see-saw with self-compassion and feel your feelings
• Unpack why you are afraid of dying alone
• Lily provides strategies to help neutralize the question, “Will I die alone?” 

Links and resources:

The Brazen Breakthrough Course
69. Worthiness + Winning Results with Simone Grace Seol

Show notes:
https://datebrazen.com/blog/will-i-just-die-alone

 

Danielle Prescod is on the podcast this week. She is the author of, “Token Black Girl,” and co-founder of 2BG Consulting, which offers anti-racism seminars and resources with the aim of fixing the fashion industry. This week, Danielle joins Lily in a conversation about writing her memoir, the trap of perfectionism, and the role white supremacy plays in the pursuit of perfectionism in love and in life.

Links:

Danielle’s new book!
Danielle’s website
Danielle on TikTok
Talking Body Image, Diet Culture, and Your Dating Life with Chrissy King
Date Brazen on Instagram
Date Brazen on TikTok

Show notes:
https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/releasing-perfectionism-with-danielle-prescod

 

We have two bad-ass podcasters and thought-leaders on the show this week. Nicci Nunez and Alex Stewart, hosts of the Swipe Fat podcast, join Lily for a conversation about dating as a plus-sized woman.  In this episode, they talk about their recent decision to take a dating app detox, share the story of how they became friends and then podcast hosts, and talk about life as plus-sized women in the dating world. 

Hot-takes from this episode:

• Thin privilege in dating versus overcompensating in other areas because you are plus-sized 
• Creating a safe space with other plus-sized women at Swipe Fat events
• You can’t be right for everybody, all of the time
• What self-care looks like in the midst of difficult times 
• Alex and Nicci’s decision to take a dating app detox, why it felt difficult and, yet, important to do

Links and Resources:
Swipe Fat Podcast
Swipe Fat on Instagram
Swipe Fat at TikTok
Alex on Instagram
Nicci on Instagram
Date Brazen on Instagram
Date Brazen on TikTok
Swipe Fat Podcast Community on Facebook
Swipe Fat on Patreon

This week’s episode is all about the “Thank you, more, please!” challenge. This challenge is a powerful tool for those of us who were taught, “What you want, does not exist.” Listen in as Lily dares you to look for evidence that what you want DOES exist, in your love life, in your professional life, and beyond.  Tune into this short episode to hear how to implement this challenge into your life, today. 

Links and resources:

• Follow Date Brazen on Instagram
• Follow Date Brazen on TikTok

Show notes:
https://datebrazen.com/blog/thank-you-more-please

 

Chrissy King is on the podcast this week! She is an author and the Creator of The Body Liberation Project. In this episode, we talk all about body image, diet culture, and your dating life.  Chrissy has a new book coming out called The Body Liberation Project: How Understanding Racism and Diet Culture Helps Cultivate Joy and Build Collective Freedom, which we discuss too. 

Chrissy shares some of the ways she empowers individuals to stop shrinking, start taking up space and use their energy to create their specific magic in the world. This is an amazing conversation and we are thrilled to be able to share it with you today! 

Hot-takes from this episode:

• Chrissy shares her experience going from yo-yo dieting to re-evaluating her relationship with her body 

• The work of body liberation is never done, it is a lifelong journey

• Shrinking into a space that doesn’t feel built for you versus taking up space

• There is a real distinction between having body issues versus having a body that causes systemic oppression in the world

• Practicing compassion, kindness, and grace in your body

• We talk about mindset and dating while being in a bigger body

• Decolonizing fitness: What Chrissy would like women of color to know and what she would like white women to know about effective allyship

Links and resources:

How the Hell to Meet Someone In-Person Workshop is THIS Thursday!

Pre-Order Chrissy's Book, The Body Liberation Project HERE for our Main Character Energy Bookclub! 

Chrissy's Website

Chrissy's Instagram

The Body is Not An Apology, Sonya Renee Taylor

Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia, Sabrina Strings

About Chrissy:

Chrissy King is a Writer, Speaker, Fitness and Strength Coach, and Creator of The Body Liberation Project. She has a passion for creating a diverse and inclusive wellness industry.  She empowers individuals to stop shrinking, start taking up space and use their energy to create their specific magic in the world. Her book, The Body Liberation Project: How Understanding Racism and Diet Culture Helps Cultivate Joy and Build Collective Freedom-- MARCH 14, 2023

Struggling with self-doubt or negative self-talk? This week's episode is a game-changer! Lily's got Katie Horwitch as her guest, and they're diving deep into how inner dialogue shapes our lives. Katie's not just any guest—she's a rockstar author, speaker, and self-talk activist with over a decade of experience flipping the script on negative self-talk.

In this episode, you'll get the lowdown on how to recognize and shift negative thoughts and discover the hidden issues behind them. Katie's the founder of WANT: Women Against Negative Talk and the voice behind The WANTcast. Plus, her debut book, "WANT YOUR SELF: Shift Your Self-Talk and Unearth The Strength in Who You Were All Along," is out now and ready to inspire.

Don't miss out—tune in and start transforming your inner dialogue to reshape your life!

We get into:

• How our self-talk shapes our view of ourselves and the world.
• Recognizing when self-talk negatively impacts your life and how to change it.
• Building the skill to confidently accept your answers when facing tough questions about what you truly want.
• Figuring out the underlying beliefs behind your self-talk, such as "I’m not allowed to want this"—what’s driving that thought?
• Exploring, understanding, and shifting not just your self-talk, but your whole self.
• Hot-take: "Be as fully you wherever you go. That’s how you learn, grow, and become the truest version of yourself."

Links:

Katie’s website

Katie’s book: WANT YOUR SELF: Shift Your Self-Talk and Unearth The Strength In Who You Were All Along

Lily on Katie’s podcast: 178: Revamp Your DATING LIFE + FIND LOVE For Real with Lily Womble of Date Brazen

Show notes:
http://datebrazen.com/blog/negative-self-talk-with-katie-horwitch

 

In this workshop, I'm going to give you my playbook to ditch the dating app and start meeting awesome people in-person!

The tickets are donation based, and 100% of the proceeds go to local abortion funds in the U.S. 

Get your ticket right HERE!

Thursday, Sept 8th, 2022

6pm EST

See you there! 

Today we are throwing it back to Episode Four of the Date Brazen Podcast. Why? Because it's all about in-person dating. The episode featured a coaching session with Date Brazen client, Amelia, who didn't want to use dating apps anymore. Sound familiar? We thought so and that is why we decided to re-air it!  Lily and Amelia talk about how to start dating in person, what that might look and feel like, and also explore what fears come up -  yes, all of that juicy stuff. You don’t want to miss this one! 

Hot takes from this episode:

• Why it’s okay (and sometimes healthy) to not be on a dating app - these apps can be distracting, discouraging, and depleting
• Lily gives Amelia some tools to listen to her intuition, which can be a revolutionary act in a world that tells women how to behave, especially in dating.
• Dating confidence is built in person - being brave enough to engage with someone you find attractive and start a conversation is a challenge

Links and resources:

• ALL NEW - Coming Sept 9th, 2022!!! How the Hell To Meet Someone In Person. Get your tickets here!
• Show notes with resources and links
• Download The Friendly Guide to Setting You Up
• Follow Date Brazen on Instagram
• Follow Date Brazen on TikTok

Show notes:
https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/episode-four/

 

This week’s episode is all about feelings. Lily talks about how you can feel your way through any of your feelings, why it’s important to do so, and how it is going to change your life, especially your love life.

This episode is a practical guide for feeling your emotions, even the hard ones. Our hope is that this episode will shift the relationship you have with yourself in a juicy way.

Some hot takes from this episode:  

• Feelings are a bodily function, feeling them does not mean you’ll get stuck in them, feeling them is a means for moving them through your body (7:15)

• You are not going to miss out on life when you slow down to practice self-compassion or feel your feelings - you are going to experience a more meaningful depth of life (15:53)

• How to actually practice feeling your feelings with emotional safety (25:49)

Links and resources:

• 3 Step Guide to Make Dating Feel Like Self-care

• Follow Date Brazen on Instagram

• Follow Date Brazen on TikTok

• 6: How to curb your freak out with self-compassion with Megan Saxelby

• 69. Worthiness + Winning Results with Simone Grace Seol

• Kristen Neff and self-compassion

• The Feelings Wheel 

Show notes:
https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/feel-your-feelings-when-rejected/

 

Today we are bringing you a dating app ask me anything episode! Lily is going to share all of her dating app hot-takes with you. This episode was inspired by a survey posted on her Instagram account (@datebrazen). She received over 300 responses with your questions and thoughts about all things dating.  We hope you enjoy the episode!

Some of the questions answered include:  

• “It seems impossible to meet anyone in the wild. Help!”

• “How do you get someone to talk to you?!?!” 

• “What do I do when I am asking qualifying/disqualifying questions and the response I get is simply, ‘You’re pretty.’” 🤨

• “How honest should we be on our profiles? Should we try to be witty or flirty?”

• “How do I respond to my family about why I don’t use dating apps?”

• “Are apps better for queer or straight relationships?”

• “Can Tinder be used for finding long-term partners and not hook-ups?”

Links and resources:

• Follow Date Brazen on Instagram

• Follow Date Brazen on TikTok

• 58. How Maddie built a dating action plan and found love

• 75. Stephanie’s radical transformation (and the long-term impact of the Brazen Breakthrough)

• 114. Brazen Client Story: Jenny’s Self-Compassion Journey

• 113. Brazen Client Party: How Kate and Julianne stepped into their best "Hell, Yes!"

• 115. Brazen Client Story: How Emily Lived Her Self-Worth and Main Character Energy

• Las Culturistas 

Show notes:

https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/dating-apps-ama/

 

 

Lily is bringing you another AMA (ask me anything) episode this week! The Date Brazen community has grown by thousands over the last month with members joining us from TikTok and Instagram. Lily loves hearing from everyone!  She is taking the time to answer more of your questions about mindset work and your dating life. 

The intention of Date Brazen is to provide tools for change and encouragement to integrate what feels good for you - in your love life and beyond. 

Questions answered in this episode include:  

• How do you regulate your nervous system when dating?
• How long does it take you to start a mindset change once you start working together on the Date Brazen journey?
• I am viewing dating apps as the only way to meet people. How do I reframe my mindset?
• How do I not let my fear of rejection in dating spill over into rejection in a professional setting?
• I am almost 30 and never dated. How do I get started?

Links and resources:

• 3 Step Guide to Make Dating Feel Like Self-care
• Follow Date Brazen on Instagram
• Follow Date Brazen on TikTok
• Burnout, by Emily Nagoski PhD, Amelia Nagoski DMA

Show notes:
https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/ama-dating-mindset-edition

 

The Queer Confidence Coach Alex Ray (he/she/they)  joins Lily on the podcast this week! We are obsessed with what Alex is putting out into the world and excited to share the conversation. Lily talks to Alex about how LGBTQ+ individuals can create their own universe complete with confidence and freedom; and can step into their next powerful phase of life. Join us for this amazing episode! 

Hot-takes from this episode:

• Stepping into both your divine masculine and divine feminine energy (2:50)
• Unpacking the stories that have shaped our confidence (12:39)
• Owning your sexual liberation and agency as a member of the queer community (18:57)
• Alex shares some of her favorite clients’ breakthroughs about self-permission (27:46)
• Confidence means allowing discomfort and having your own back (31:05)

Links and resources:

• Alex Ray’s website
• Follow Alex on Instagram 
• Follow Date Brazen on Instagram
• Follow Date Brazen on TikTok
• The Queer Confidence Podcast

Show notes: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/a-conversation-about-confidence-with-alex-ray

I'm answering all your questions in this AMA

Questions like: 

- Is it intuition or fear?

- Do I DM a guy I met last year??

- How to approach people IRL

- How to create Qualifying and Disqualifying questions.

All will be answered in this episode:)

We are getting vulnerable on the podcast this week. Dr. Juliana Hauser returns to the show to talk more about sexual agency.  After Dr. Juliana’s last podcast appearance, Lily participated in Revealed, Juliana’s program about sexual agency in a community setting. This episode is an opportunity to be in the room while Lily talks to her coach about what it was like to dive deep into the experience of sexual agency, what it is, and how it can affect your life. 

“When you get to reclaim who you are, excavating your story and understanding it on your own terms, then you really gain a different level of confidence in knowing who you are; so that you can make decisions with purpose, intention, and agency moving forward.” Dr. Juliana Hauser

Hot-takes from this episode:

• Dr. Juliana and Lily share their experiences about being a part of each other’s work (4:31)

• Excavating your stories and how doing so encourages owning your sexual agency (9:55)

• The first place to be in discomfort is with curiosity (14:15)

• Lily shares the most powerful lessons learned from her time in Revealed (16:49)

• All of the fears that came up for Lily when doing work toward sexual agency (23:31)

• What is the value of knowing your sexuality and understanding your sexual story? (26:13)

• Agency is the headliner of the essence of who we are (29:17)

Links and resources:

• Limited Spots Available for the Main Energy Mastermind - Apply Today!

• Dr. Juliana’s website

• Dr. Juliana on Instagram

• 80. Reclaiming your sexual agency with Dr. Juliana Hauser

• Date Brazen on Instagram

Show notes:
https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/a-conversation-about-sexual-agency/

 

 

 

Follow Date Brazen on TikTok

Follow Date Brazen on Instagram

Get your free journaling guide: Make Dating Feel Like Self Care

We’ve been talking a lot about main character energy around here. What is it? Having main character energy means taking center stage in your life, owning what you want, and asking for it out loud. This week client Emily is on the show to share how she embodied the spirit of main character energy when she went through a Date Brazen program and shares how she was able to master self-worth in all areas of her life.  

If you are interested in learning how to become the center of your permission-filled, self-trust-fueled, bold-as-hell love story, apply for the Main Character Energy Mastermind today.

Hot-takes from this episode:

• How Date Brazen taught Emily to understand her worth is NOT related to whether she was in a relationship or not (5:45)

• Emily’s desire to be in community to work on her dating life (12:33)

• What it looks like to get in your own way around dating (25:40)

• Healing from past relationships and learning to move forward with courage, self-worth, and honesty (28:04)

Links and resources:

• Apply for the Main Energy Mastermind!
• Date Brazen on Instagram

Show notes:

https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/emilys-self-worth-and-main-character-energy/

 

 

Ever wondered why you often overlook the self-care you desperately need? This week, Lily chats with the amazing Dr. Cicely Horsham-Brathwaite who drops some serious knowledge on managing stress, building habits that stick, and incorporating practical self-care into our everyday lives. Get ready for some game-changing insights straight from her awesome books! 

We get into:

• The three must-have types of self-care for ultimate well-being 
• How to spot the red flags that scream you're neglecting self-care 
• Handling high-stakes pressure in dating and staying grounded
• Why stress isn't all bad—it’s all about balance and self-compassion 
• How inequality affects self-care for Women of Color and how everyone can be co-conspirators in making a change 
• Fun and easy activities to seamlessly weave self-care into your daily routine 

Links:

Dr. Cicely Horsham-Brathwaite’s website

You can pick up your copy of Thank You, More Please where all books are sold right now and sign up for our book club at datebrazen.com/book!

This week, Date Brazen client Jenny is on the podcast. Jenny embodies main character's energy in a beautiful way. In this episode, she shares what it felt like to bet on herself (and her dating life), embrace self-trust, and practice self-compassion.

We hope you are loving the stories from women who are taking massive courageous action to become the center of their permission-filled, self-trust-fueled, bold-as-hell love story.

Hot-takes from this episode:

• Practicing self-compassion in a space of learning and growing (5:33)

• Jenny shares about the bad dating advice she bought into including the number game and using dating apps. Hot-take: If you don’t know another way of dating, you’ll continue to follow the advice that doesn’t feel intentional (9:12)

• Why Lily thinks dating is a portal to greater well-being (10:05)

• The ripple effects of working with an intersectional feminist dating coach (20:13)

Links and resources:

• Apply for the Main Energy Mastermind!

• Date Brazen on Instagram

• Kristen Neff

Show notes:

https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/jennys-self-compassion-journey/

 

 

This week, we are continuing the podcast series which showcases women who are embodying their main character energy. Last week we heard from Maggie and this time, we welcome Kate and Julianne to the show. They share how they stepped into their best, “Hell, yes!” and learned to practice radical self-trust. 

If you’ve listened to the podcast recently, you know there are big shifts happening here at Date Brazen. Kate and Julianne were a direct influence on the energetic shift so the work we do is deeper and more impactful in all areas of life.

Hot-takes from this episode:

• Julianne shares her story of why she felt the need to find a new approach to her love life (2:09)
• Kate opens up about why she began working with Lily, to “figure out why dating sucks”
• What it’s like to be a feminist woman who wants a relationship (6:06)
• Being secure in yourself for not settling and living your authentic life is a radical act of self-care (28:00)
• What self-trust looks like for Kate and Julianne now that they have embraced this new way of approaching their love lives (50:57)

Links and resources:

• Date Brazen on Instagram
• 111. Big vulnerable exciting news (aka what self-trust will do)
• 112. Brazen Client Story: Maddie's Main Character Energy
• Date Brazen on Instagram

Show notes: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/stepping-into-your-best-hell-yes

This week kicks off our new series on the podcast of amazing folks who’ve worked with Lily and who are embodying their main character energy. You're going to hear more about how these women are giving themselves permission to have what they want and take massive courageous action. 

Today’s episode is all about Maddie's main character energy journey. We worked together last year. She shares how she has been taking up space, asking for more, and valuing her worth. 

Hot-takes from this episode:

• The three pillars of main character energy! (00:25)

• Having genuine belonging is better than accumulating connection (7:58)

• What it was like for Maddie to step into the personal growth space (12:28)

• The benefits of dating mindfully and with intention (20:30)

• How Maddie went from people-pleasing to understanding what she wants and putting herself first (28:11)

Links and resources:

• Last week’s episode about the big shifts that are happening! 

• Date Brazen on Instagram

Show notes with transcript: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/maddies-main-character-energy/

 

 

Vulnerability alert! This week I am sharing some big, exciting news with y’all. In fact, I am taking lessons from the work I do with my clients and applying them to my professional life. I am showing up, being courageous, and trusting that this next path for Date Brazen is the right one. Yes, I said next path! Listen to this episode to hear about the big shift that is coming and what harnessing your main character energy has to do with it all.  

I am going to be talking about diving deeper into your self-trust because when you do, you will feel incredible about every decision in your dating life. I’ll also share what one client said to me and how that one sentence was the catalyst for the deep and meaningful change in my life’s work and mission to support women like you. 

When you create your own freedom in your life, when you show up fully for yourself, when you start to unlearn the ways the patriarchy has kept you playing small, you can create the impact you want to see in yourself and in the world around you.   

Links and resources:

• Date Brazen on Instagram
• Episode 69: Worthiness + Winning Results with Simone Grace Seol

SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/what-self-trust-will-do

 

This week we are talking about how to create a pleasure-filled sex life with or without a partner. Joining me in this episode is pleasure expert Danielle Savory. Danielle weaves together her background in neuroscience, her expertise in mindfulness, and her skills as a coach to help women rewire their brains, connect with their bodies, and take an empowered approach to their sexuality.  Join us for this bold, empowering, and juicy episode! 

Hot-takes from this episode:

• The mind-body connection and embracing your sexuality 
• Your dream sex life will keep growing and evolving as you grow and evolve too
• How the practice of self-compassion can shift your sex life
• Getting your needs met when you don't have a sexual partner!
• We redefine the idea of casual sex
• What it means to live as a "turned on woman"

Links and resources:

• Date Brazen on InstagramDanielle Savory's website

• Danielle Savory on Instagram

• It’s My Pleasure podcast

• Reclaiming your sexual agency with Dr. Juliana Hauser

• Self-Compassion with Kristen Neff

SHOW NOTES:

https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/better-sex-with-danielle-savory

 

This week’s episode has been in the works since early 2020! In March of that same year, Chris and I started watching Love on the Spectrum, a Netflix series that follows young adults on the autism spectrum, who explore the unpredictable world of dating and its unique challenges. I quickly recognized how beautifully crafted the series was and how much we can learn from it. So, I invited Jodi Rodgers, the show’s sexologist and therapist, to share all of her dating wisdom with us! 

Jodi Rodgers is a qualified sexologist, counselor, and special education teacher. She has worked within the education and community sectors in Australia and all over the world. She has extensive experience working with neurodiverse people of all ages.

She created her private practice, Birds and Bees, after 25 years of working in education, disability, and sexuality fields. Birds and Bees specializes in delivering counseling services and workshops for people with a disability, with a focus on sexuality, sexual health, and relationships, as well as training for parents, carers, and professionals to raise the community's capacity in this sometimes tricky area.

Hot-takes from this episode:

• Communication in the dating world today is complex
• Knowing how to exit a date is just as important as knowing how to enter a date
• Why it is important to find ways to communicate our differences
• What neurotypical people should know about dating 
• The most integral part of being human is our ability to connect with other people
• We ALL struggle with dating and everybody needs support

Links and resources:

• Date Brazen on Instagram
• Jodi Rodgers on Instagram
• Love on the Spectrum
• Jodi Rodgers on Mr. A-+ Podcast

Fina Antwine and I are going deep on all things self-care, how to embody your desires, how to trust your body, and step into your sacred power. If you are available for this powerful as hell conversation, listen in because it will impact your day for the better.  Fila Antwine is an emotional wellness coach with expertise in teaching you how to master self-care while creating healthy relationships and putting yourself first so you can build a life that you actually love.

Note: We discuss themes of sexual abuse in this episode. If that is not for you today, please take care of yourself and skip this episode. 

Hot-takes from this episode:

• When you say, "There are no good men", this is a learned trauma response passed down from the women in your family. 
• You can have high self-esteem and how self-worth
• Where women struggle the most in today’s dating space
• “What do you need most now?” This question can be comforting AND scary
• The act of Sacred Self Care - what it is and how to practice it in your life!
• The biggest obstacle to living sacred self-care and how to tackle it

Links and resources:

Fila’s website
Fila’s Love of Your Life Intensive
Fila on Instagram
Date Brazen on Instagram
Anwar White

SHOW NOTES:

https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/love-of-your-life-intensive-with-fila-antwine

I am excited to be sharing one of my favorite episodes to date; on boundaries!

Boundaries are one of the most important tools (besides self-compassion) that you have, in your dating arsenal.

In this episode, I share a boundary starter pack and explain why it may be hard for you to declare your boundaries, and offer a strategy that will help you get started.

SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/how-to-declare-your-boundaries

Have you ever wondered if your life could be different without alcohol? This week, alcohol-free lifestyle expert, Amanda Kuda, joins me for a conversation about elective sobriety and sober dating. Amanda helps ambitious women design alcohol-free lives they are in love with. Whether you are sober-curious or already sober-free, this episode is for you. 

Amanda says that “Everything can change in your life if you choose to live alcohol-free.” In this episode, we explore what it means to be sober-free, the notion that elective sobriety does not mean anti-alcohol, and how to maneuver dating as a sober, badass woman. 

Hot-Takes from This Episode:

• Elective sobriety is when you are choosing to eliminate something from your life that is suppressing you from living to your true potential
• There are lessons to be learned from your resistance to living a sober-free life
• Discovering what life can be like without alcohol
• Sober-dating and how to navigate the conversation that you are alcohol-free
• Amanda shares her top tips for sober-free dating

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today’s Episode:

• Amanda’s website
• Amanda on Instagram 
• Amanda’s Mindful Dating Mini-Course
• Date Brazen on Instagram

SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/how-to-do-alcohol-free-dating-with-amanda-kuda

 

If you have decided you only want to date one person at a time, but aren’t sure how to go about it - this episode is for you! Today, I am talking all about how to navigate dating multiple people at once, dating one person at a time, how to know what is right for you, and how to express your wants and needs to a potential partner.

This episode is an invitation to give yourself permission to want what you want. If what you want is to date multiple people at once, go for it. If you want to date one person at a time - go for it. You are the CEO of your love life. 

Hot-Takes from This Episode:

• What to do when you feel like wanting to be exclusive feels like you are being too much
• How to define your boundaries around commitment
• Plus, expressing and understanding your commitment preferences
• Think about: "What are you hoping for in your dating life? What are you excited to happen in your dating life?"
• Give yourself permission to focus on one person at a time. The right person for you will choose you, too.
• Encouragement to map out your expectations/preferences for monogamy/exclusivity 

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today’s Episode:

• The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks
• Date Brazen on Instagram

SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/dating-only-one-person-at-a-time

My first book, Thank You, More Please: A Feminist Guide to Breaking Dumb Dating Rules and Finding Love, is out in the world right now. I'm SO EXCITED! My business manager Jayla Rae joins me to reveal the little-known, lesser-discussed pieces of my book-writing journey. She’s leading me through questions about what I learned while writing the book, what I am most looking forward to, and thought-provoking questions about the book from Date Brazen clients! Join us on this behind-the-scenes book journey!

We get into:

• Getting real and raw while writing the book and the juicy stories within
• The feels and the fun of sharing my book with friends and family for the first time.
• Answering burning questions from the Date Brazen community about the book, future plans, and beyond!

Links:

You can pick up your copy of Thank You, More Please where all books are sold right now and sign up for our book club at datebrazen.com/book!

Show notes:
http://datebrazen.com/blog/book-pub-day-qa

 

This week I am talking about the concept of competition in your dating life. I’ll be sharing how to move from a competitive mindset to a party mindset. Of course, it's hard NOT to think of dating as a competition..., especially when being in a relationship represents "moving forward" into a new stage in life. However, I am here to remind you that's a patriarchal narrative that no longer serves you.  

In this episode, I explore how competition shows up, what it is a reflection of and how you begin to practice self-trust and confidence in order to change your dating mindset for good. 

Dating is not a race to the finish line. It's a party where your only job is to own what you desire, own what you need, get your needs met, and allow the magic of co-creation to do the rest.

Hot-Takes from This Episode:

• Being stuck in a cycle of perceived competition and comparison
• Patriarchal narratives do not serve you or your dating life
• Getting into a more expansive and empowering truth
• We are here to play, to have fun, serve ourselves and others, and create the world we want to see
• How can you create more freedom in your life?
• Life and dating are not zero-sum games

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today’s Episode:

• Date Brazen on Instagram

SHOW NOTES:
https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/moving-from-competition-mindset-to-party-mindset-in-your-dating-life

 

Going from single-hood to being partnered can be quite a transition. It can leave you feeling a mixture of emotions, introduce you to new experiences, and uncover new (and old) insecurities. Gorgeous friend, that’s okay! This week, Modern Marriage Mentor, Maggie Reyes, joins me to discuss how to build the love life you desire, get comfortable with moving from independence to interdependence, and show up in your relationship honestly.

We discuss the intersection between my work as a dating coach, helping women make dating feel like self-care, and Maggie’s work helping women master their mindset in order to make their marriage better. 

Listen to hear this fun and empowering conversation!

Hot-Takes from This Episode:

• What if you treated your “quirk” as a feature and not a bug

• Transitioning from life as a single woman to life with a partner, and honoring the grief or other feelings you may feel 

• Maggie weighs in on the idea that “men don’t do the same emotional work women do.”

• Moving away from the “all or nothing” mindset

• How Maggie helps women communicate in relationships including open-hearted or uncomplicated communication

• Creating awareness around the stress cycle and how you are responding 

• Is wanting what you want somehow too much within a relationship?

• Why Maggie says to write a job description for your ideal partner

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today’s Episode:

• Date Brazen on Instagram

• Maggie on Instagram

• Maggie’s website

• The Marriage Life Coach Podcast

• 69. Worthiness + Winning Results with Simone Grace Seol

• The Highly Sensitive Person

• Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle

SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/building-the-love-life-you-want-with-maggie-reyes

Are you currently in a situationship? You are ‘kind-of’ seeing someone but there is no commitment and no talk about the future. Why do you keep falling into situationships and what can you do about it?  Therapist Dontea’ Mitchell-Hunter joins me for a discussion about how to practice self-love and worthiness in and out of relationships.

Dontea’ Mitchell-Hunter is a self-worth therapist that helps BIPOC women get out of unfulfilling relationships and recreate self-love & happiness - single or partnered. She wants women to know their worth doesn’t come from being in a relationship nor what others think of them.

Hot-Takes from This Episode:

• Coming into your boundaries and releasing people who are not respecting them.

• Situation-ships: what they are and why we find ourselves in them. 

• Standing by your personal preferences, like not wanting kids.

• What to do when your values isolate you from people you care about.

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today’s Episode:

• Dontea’s website

• Detox Therapy Podcast

• Dontea’ on Instagram

• Date Brazen on Instagram

SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/why-we-choose-situationships-with-dontea-mitchell-hunter

 

Pleasure. Money. Dating. That is what we are talking about on the Date Brazen podcast this week! Serena Hicks teaches coaches how to make, have, and move BIG Happy Money ™ as a Love-leading revolution in this world. She joins me for a discussion about love, relationships, and the money mindset. 

Together we talk about moving from a scarcity mindset, which sounds something like, “There aren’t enough good people out there, I’ll never find love. I need to take whatever I can get and take it now!” To one of there is enough, as in, “The one is out there and that is enough for me.  Knowing this truth IS enough.”  

Hot-Takes from This Episode:

• What Big Money is and how Serena discovered it after a shame spiral about money and living from a scarcity mindset.
• Sometimes our net worth is a reflection of our self-worth. 
• Systems of oppression and patriarchy are affecting your worth.’
• Why we feel so much shame about debt and what we can do about it.
• How to solve for underearning starts with getting hip to realizing how awesome you are. 
• Functioning from scarcity concept to functioning from ENOUGH. 

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today’s Episode:

• Serena’s website
• Big Money Mastermind
• Serena on Instagram
• Date Brazen on Instagram 
• WEBZ Chicago’s Making Oprah

SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/how-to-stop-shoulding-yourself/big-happy-money-and-your-love-life-with-serena-hicks

 

Today we are going to be talking about the word “should”. Specifically, what it means if you are shoulding yourself, how it’s affecting your dating life, and how to start choosing an easier path forward. 

I should let it go.
I should have figured this out by now.
I shouldn’t care so much.
I should just push a little harder.

“Should” thoughts such as these are so insidious. Tune in to hear how to start shedding the shoulds from your dating life for good.

Hot-takes From This Episode: 

• “Shoulding” is a sign that you need to play with self-compassion

• What if should was not an option? What would that sound, look, and feel like?

• Why should is a weapon against your own agency.

• You deserve to be self-trust-filled and empowered.

• The “should” standard is there to keep you oppressed.

• “Should” is your teacher, it is not the enemy. It is here to teach you where to practice self-compassion and unhook from previous norms that kept you in a box.

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today’s Episode:

• Join the Brazen Breakthrough - Apply Today!

• Date Brazen on Instagram @datebrazen

• Episode 69: Worthiness + Winning Results with Simone Grace Seol

SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/how-to-stop-shoulding-yourself

 

Welcome to a very special episode of the Date Brazen Podcast! It’s episode 100, y’all! Returning to the show is my partner Chris. He joined me for an Ask Chris and Lily Anything episode way back in 2020. In this episode, he joins me as my host and asks me some burning questions about dating, relationships, growing Date Brazen, and everything in between. Join us for this fun and behind-the-scenes episode!

Hot-takes From This Episode: 

• My favorite Date Brazen episodes
• The hardest part of our relationship: being human together. 
• What I am most PROUD to say “No,” to.
• Do I believe in red flags? Hint: YES!
• Chris shares some of his favorite Date Brazen-isms

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today’s Episode:

• Join the Brazen Breakthrough - Apply Today!
• Date Brazen on Instagram @datebrazen
• Episode 15: Our Relationship: Ask Lily and Chris Anything
• Episode 69: Worthiness + Winning Results with Simone Grace Seol
• The Spark File Podcast

SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/100th-episode-chris-asks-lily-anything

 

Why does it feel like shit to put yourself first? This week I am talking all about putting yourself first, why it feels uncomfortable, and what you can do about it. 

When we choose ourselves and set boundaries to protect ourselves, it doesn't always feel like sunshine and roses. In fact, it can feel uncertain and downright scary. 

Here’s the thing, as women in a patriarchal society, we’ve been socialized to put the needs of others before our own. So it’s going to feel shitty when we choose to respond to our own needs first. And that’s okay.  

It’s time to choose YOU, my gorgeous friend. I invite you on this journey.  

Hot-takes From This Episode: 

• Why putting others first feels safe and putting yourself first feels unsafe.
• Break up with the attachment of the thought, “Discomfort means I did something wrong.”
• Practice self-compassion: Yes, putting yourself first is going to be uncomfortable and it is okay.
• I share a simple meditation to help you to learn to put your needs first. 

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today’s Episode:

• Join the Brazen Breakthrough - Apply Today!
• Date Brazen on Instagram @datebrazen

SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/putting-yourself-first

This week Lauren, one of my clients from the Brazen Breakthrough Mastermind, joins me to share her transformation story. And y’all, her courage to do something that is out of her comfort zone, like being on a podcast, is indicative of her power to show up for herself.

Before the Brazen Breakthrough, Lauren felt as though something was inherently wrong with her because dating didn’t come easily. In this episode, she shares her decision to join the Brazen Breakthrough and explores how it helped her to become the main character in her life, show up for herself, and embrace her power. She also talked eloquently about how her biggest breakthrough had very little to do with dating and everything to do with believing in herself. 

Hot-takes From This Episode: 

• We explore the idea of being stuck in the story of “I’m too old to find a partner.”
• How the patriarchy frames and shapes our thoughts about dating.
• The deep work we do in the Brazen Breakthrough is not just about finding a date. 
• How Lauren learned to harness and embrace her main character energy. 
• You are worth the investment.
• Lauren’s realization that she has everything she needs in order to get everything she desires.

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today’s Episode:

• Join the Brazen Breakthrough - Apply Today!
• Date Brazen on Instagram @datebrazen
• Untamed, Glennon Doyle

Show Notes: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/laurens-brazen-breakthrough-story

 

 

“I can’t expect to have an emotionally intelligent partner and be attracted to them.” Woah. If you are thinking to yourself, “Yes, that’s me. I think that!” Then yes, friend, that is where we are going today. In this episode, I help illuminate this story you have been carrying around about your love life, help you to excavate it, gently, and come out the other side feeling more in control. 

So yes, you have a lot of expectations and desires for your dating life. Your job is not to know how things are going to happen. Your job is to ask for what you want and to learn how to overcome patriarchal narratives that have been keeping you confined. 

Tune into this episode as we hold space for your human experience and rewrite narratives that have been holding you back from the expansiveness of who you are! 

Hot-takes From This Episode: 

• What is an emotionally intelligent partner, anyway?
• How to describe and attract what you desire.
• Confirmation bias: if your brain has decided what you want doesn’t exist, your brain will continue to look for that evidence! 
• Wanting what you want means starting to look for evidence that what you want DOES exist. 
• Consider: What does attraction mean to you? 
• Moving from an Either/Or mindset to a Both/And mindset.
• The patriarchal influence on your dating life. 
• Journal: What is a thought that feels useful and true? 

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today’s Episode:

• Join the Brazen Breakthrough - Apply Today!
• Date Brazen on Instagram @datebrazen

Show notes: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/is-an-emotionally-intelligent-and-attractive-partner-possible

 

Have you ever received bad dating advice from family or friends? And has that advice impacted you in negative ways? Well, this week, I talk about how to deal when you get bad dating advice from people who have no business dishing it out. 

Some of the advice could sound something like:

"Maybe you're single because you asked for too much." 

“Maybe you're single because you didn't lose weight.”

“Maybe you didn't give them enough of a try.”

“Maybe you are just too old.”

Getting bad advice SUCKS. Yes, and, if you think those thoughts to be true, it’s time to breathe new life into the stories you are believing about your love life. This episode is going to help you do just that.

Hot-takes from this episode:

• Acknowledge that bad dating advice SUCKS. 
• Allow yourself to feel your feelings, including anger, resentment, or fear. 
• Ask yourself: What does this advice say about the person giving it? 
• Prioritize your self-care. 

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today’s Episode:

• Join the Brazen Breakthrough - Apply Today!

• Date Brazen on Instagram @datebrazen

SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/how-to-respond-to-bad-dating-advice

 

How can embracing your main character energy and taking up space transform your journey?  In this episode, Lily sits down with Krishan Trotman, VP and Publisher of Legacy Lit Books, to discuss the exciting journey of co-creating Lily's new book 'Thank You, More Please,' which hits shelves next week, June 11th. 📚✨ Tune in to hear Krishan’s own main character energy story, behind-the-scenes details about Lily’s book, and a deep dive into the world of publishing diverse voices. 

Don't forget to pre-order 'Thank You, More Please,' coming out June 11th. Your pre-orders mean the world and help ensure the book gets the recognition it deserves. 🌟 Your support is immensely appreciated!

We get into:

• Krishan’s main character energy story and her role as VP and Publisher at Legacy Lit
• The co-creation of Thank You More Please
• Advice for aspiring authors on writing, getting published, and maintaining the motivation needed for long-term projects

Links:
Lily’s book, Thank You More Please, is available for preorder right now and you can grab it and the preorder bonuses with this link!
Krishan on Instagram
Legacy Lit Books

Show notes:
http://datebrazen.com/blog/mce-taking-up-space-with-krishan-trotman

 

Jealousy can be a scary emotion for a lot of women.  With Valentine’s Day coming up, you may have some complicated feelings about yourself, about your love life intermixed with some feelings of jealousy. 

In this episode, I dispel jealousy myths and talk about what to do if or when you are feeling jealous. I’ll also give you some of my hot takes about why jealousy isn’t bad, how to hold yourself with compassion, and move forward powerfully.

Remember, jealousy is not something that excludes you from attracting more, it just means you are human. 

Are you all in for the Brazen Galentine Extraganva? Learn how to create your most joyful, courageous love life. Instead of figuring it out “one day", join me and other courageous, strong, and amazing women in building a solid game plan to reach your desires right now. It's free to join, click this link to register and save the date for February 13th 💜

Hot-takes from this Episode: 

• Why it’s hard to feel negative emotions, such as jealousy.
• Journaling prompt: What story are you making up about feeling jealous?
• Your feelings are your feelings and you get to have them.
• A reminder that desiring something is normal.
• Notice where you are feeling jealous in your romantic life.
• Think about: What the feeling of jealousy is meant to teach you about yourself.

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today’s Episode:

• Date Brazen's Galentine’s Day Extravaganza
• Join the Brazen Breakthrough waitlist
• Date Brazen on Instagram @datebrazen

SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/what-to-do-when-youre-jealous-of-your-coupled-friend

This week I dive into the good and bad of dating with guests Jessie Jolles and Claire Burns, hosts of the popular podcast No Such Thing As Love. In this episode, they share some of the ways in which their dating lives have changed over the past two years and some of the lessons they have learned.  

SHOW NOTES: 
https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/how-jessie-jolles-and-claire-burns-created-badass-love-lives

 

West Elm Caleb is taking social media by storm. In this episode, I break down who West Elm Caleb is and why his dating style, which included love-bombing and ghosting, was causing an uproar online. More importantly, I explain why this entire scenario is a call to action for the dating world.   Alright, if you want to know why I am referring to this as a call to action - here’s a quick hot-take, which I dig deeper in this episode: 

Dating is experiencing a public health crisis. Yes, you read that correctly, my beautiful friend.  The way in which dating has evolved, with dating apps at the center, is deeply affecting our nervous systems. Dating is exhausting and affects our nervous system to the detriment of our health.  

The goal of every dating app is this: to introduce you to someone outside of your social circle and to make money. 

Your job is to take care of your nervous system. 

Your job is to learn to trust yourself so that you can spot the next West Elm Caleb versus someone who is interested in a deeper connection. 

Of course, sometimes shit is going to happen. Both, and - your job is to respond to it with self-compassion. I dive into a lot more in this episode.

SHOW NOTES: 
https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/call-to-action-for-the-dating-world