Dr Alex Curmi is a psychiatrist and psychotherapist who also hosts The Thinking Mind podcast, and is a gifted communicator on mental health and self-development. 

Alex's clinical work and training has given him acute insights into troubling aspects of modern life, and how we might prepare for an uncertain future. The question which formed the spine of our conversation was ‘ In a world where technology has been quite disruptive psychologically for a lot of people, how do we prepare for an increasingly technological future?

We examine how modern technology reshapes attention, confidence, morality and meaning, and Alex offers practical tips for staying human as machines grow more capable. Among the topics explored you will find:

• tech-driven overstimulation dulling joy and focus
• confidence built through voluntary discomfort
• psychiatry and psychotherapy as complementary lenses
• intolerance of uncertainty and stoic control
• integrity, congruence and moral habits that scale
• social skills as a proactive practice
• AI as tool versus thinking crutch
• career durability through uncommon skill stacks
• financial resilience over consumerist drift
• community as the container for lasting change

If you do enjoy the show, please follow or rate it. It really helps others to find it. For future episodes and news on the show, please sign up to the substack - https://thisexaminedlife.substack.com/?utm_campaign=profile_chips

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Technology is taking on a mythic mantle as we look to our creations to supply us with a sense of belonging and purpose, but this is a category error because tech cannot honestly deliver on these promises. In this podcast Tom Chatfield explores some of the issues bound up with the ways we are thinking about technology.

• Technology is not a bolt-on or optional extra, but has been integral to human existence since before our species evolved
• The delusion of neutrality allows us to abdicate responsibility for design choices and embedded values in our tools
• Technology has affordances that push us toward certain behaviors – email "wants" more emails, cars "want" highways
• The delusion of determinism suggests technology drives history along a predetermined path, diminishing human agency
• We've confused progress with salvation, imbuing tech with religious qualities like transcendence and apocalyptic narratives
• Understanding ourselves as "dependent rational animals" helps us appreciate our fundamental interdependence
• Each new generation must be taught a way into modernity, allowing them to question, change, and remix our culture
• Being a "good ancestor" means considering how our technological choices will impact future generations

"Even if you're the richest person in the world, let alone the poorest, you don't have perhaps as much leverage as you might wish to. Nevertheless, that's what you've got, and it does no good whatsoever to say, therefore I have no power, no control, no insight, nothing to give. You do what you can within the limits of what you can know and bring into being."

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This is a distilled version of last year's conversation with the writer Oliver Burkeman. In it, you'll hear Oliver talk about our troubled relationship with time and how to more fully inhabit it.

Oliver believes our obsession with productivity and efficiency is no route to happiness, quite the opposite. In order to inhabit time more fully, we need to embrace our limitations. This will mean admitting that however many worthwhile ways there are to spend our time, we can't do them all. This is a liberating fact, and can help us enjoy those things we have committed to all the more.

Oliver's new book Meditations for Mortals is now available to buy, and focuses on helpful ways to resist the culture of efficiency, and embrace our finitude more fully.

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Phoebe Tickell is a biologist, systems thinker, and 'imagination activist'. Phoebe works across multiple contexts applying a complexity and systems thinking lens and engaging people in how to think differently about the planet and its problems. In 2020 Phoebe created 'Moral Imaginations', which researches and implements collective imagination exercises and training to inspire change and find new solutions in an era of unprecedented disruption and potential for transformation.

In this episode we explore the ways in which western culture has shaped the way we think and approach the problems of our day. Phoebe suggests that taking a step back and questioning received wisdom might provide more promising solutions to the crises we are currently facing.

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What do we lack when we lack religion? In this episode Alex Evans explores the role that religion has historically played in both collective and individual life, and the shape it leaves behind when it disappears. The stories that we locate ourselves within and the rituals they enshrine, are formative in the way we attend to the world. Religion has historically provided the structure for this work, and its absence leaves a vacuum. The conversation explores the various pretenders to the religious throne, any why many of them fall short. 

Alex works at the intersection of where the state of our minds meets the state of the world, and the way these influence one another. His organisation Larger Us is seeks to drive positive change address the crises of our day by bringing people together, you can find out more on their website - www.larger.us.

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Dr Jill Bolte-Taylor was a neuroanatomist at Harvard when she suffered a severe stroke on the left hemisphere of her brain. It was an experience which profoundly changed her life, and opened her up to the agency we all have in choosing our attention. She explores this in her TED talk back in 2008, which became one of the most popular TED talks ever. In this conversation we explore Jill's question 'who are we, and what are we doing here?', doing so through the lens of neuroanatomy, as well as her experience of having a stroke. Many of the ideas we explore are unpacked further in her book Whole Brain Living.

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Show links:
Todd's website - https://toddkashdan.com/
Todd's Substack - https://toddkashdan.substack.com/
Kenny's Substack - https://positivelymaladjusted.substack.com/
Examined Life youtube channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpKC6L_IJ2zvL6E6M8Ly1AA

What if the most influential voices in our society are those often left unheard? In this episode, I sit down with Todd Kashdan, a psychology professor at George Mason University and the mind behind "The Art of Insubordination," to unravel the complexities of influence and dissent. We begin by discussing how individuals with little power, status, or majority support can still make a significant impact. Todd and I explore the significance of offering constructive ideas, no matter how imperfect, and the necessity of ensuring diverse participation in discussions to amplify marginalised voices.

Next, we shine a spotlight on the indispensable role of principled dissenters in driving societal progress. Through the inspiring stories of Richard Feynman and Nelson Mandela, we highlight how challenging groupthink is not just courageous but essential for improvement. We dissect whether individualistic or collectivist societies are more conducive to nurturing such brave voices, drawing lessons from Mandela's resilience and leadership within a collectivist context. This chapter delves deep into the sacrifices and personal risks associated with being a change-maker, offering listeners tangible examples of how dissent can lead to monumental shifts.

Finally, we navigate the virtues essential for fostering a culture of curiosity and intellectual humility. We discuss the trade-offs one needs to make for a meaningful life, and the importance of creativity, experimentation, and living authentically. We discuss how education systems can nurture or stifle the principled insubordinates of tomorrow and the critical need for inefficiency and curiosity in both educational and professional settings. This episode has practical tips on how you can cultivate the power pave your unique path against societal norms. Special thanks to Todd Kashdan for his invaluable insights.

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Iain McGilchrist is a rare polymath who draws on his background in literature, philosophy, medicine and the sciences to make a profound argument that the kind of attention we pay to the world determines not only the kind of people we become, but also the world we create. He argues that the brains left hemisphere has a disenchanted and mechanical view of the world, and it is this that has come to dominate the Western World. A consequence of this is that we've lost a sense of the sacred, of belonging, and of the reality of the values of truth, beauty and goodness.

In this episode we discuss what it is about life that we might be missing through the way we are paying attention. The conversation is wide ranging, exploring the brain hemispheres,  the reality of values, and indeed the purpose of life in the universe.

Further information on Iain's work can be found on his website.
A full version of this interview  will be available on the Examined Life's youtube channel.

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As AI evolves and replaces different human functions, it raises questions about what it is that makes us distinctively human, and whether that distinctiveness can and should be programmed into AI. This is a question that Dr Eve Poole has thought and written a great deal about. Her recent book Robot Souls takes this question seriously, and explores possible trajectories for our future with AI. In this episode we discuss the necessity of human 'junk code', the increasing importance of the humanities in education, and whether we should trying a bit harder to make AI beings in our own image.

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Are you optimistic about the future? Do you think we're heading in the right direction as a species? If not, you're in good company. In this episode the writer and speaker Dougald Hine explores what's gone wrong with 'modernity', and what it might mean to think generative thoughts about the future.  Dougald speaks with wisdom and clarity about our current predicament, and what kind of thinking and acting we are being called to in this moment.

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 In this episode the writer and podcaster Elizabeth Oldfield explores the question ‘who is it that I want to be becoming?’ We discuss the pernicious forces that are shaping us, and what it means to be intentional about structuring our time attention around those practices that can deepen and shape our character.

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How can we find meaning in life? In this episode we are joined by the celebrated psychologist Dacher Keltner where we explore where meaning comes from, and how the emotion of awe can help us find it. Dacher Keltner is a professor of psychology at UCLA Berkley, where he teaches and researches in the area of positive psychology, and researches the emotion of awe. Dacher is a wonderful communicator and offers much that is fascinating, helpful and uplifting for anyone who craves a greater sense of meaning in life.

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Rosie Spinks Substack - https://rojospinks.substack.com/about

Kenny Primrose Substack - https://positivelymaladjusted.substack.com/

Moby Gratis Music - https://mobygratis.com/

Writer and journalist Rosie Spinks joins us to explore her powerful question: "What do we do now that we're here?" Drawing from her journey from ambitious journalist to burnout victim to advocate for a different way of living, Rosie offers a surprisingly hopeful perspective on navigating a world where traditional markers of success have lost their shine.

After achieving what looked like career success—writing for prestigious publications like The Guardian and The New York Times—Rosie found herself profoundly unhappy. The pandemic provided an unexpected reset, challenging her assumptions about what's guaranteed in life and what truly matters. She describes straddling two worlds: "here" (where we've accepted the limitations of growth and progress) and "there" (the conventional world of consumption and productivity we still partially inhabit).

The conversation takes a particularly powerful turn when Rosie discusses how becoming a mother revealed the transformative power of care. "I had never in my old life, in my twenties, in my ambitious journalist life, thought about anyone but myself. The work of caregiving is repetitive and you're never done, but in that is this extraordinary quality that you unlock within yourself." This insight extends beyond parenting—it's about redirecting our energy toward connection with others and our local communities.

Rather than dwelling in despair, Rosie offers practical suggestions for building what she calls "the village"—trading childcare with other parents, learning neighbors' names, replacing consumption-based leisure with generative activities. These small shifts can rebuild our sense of belonging while preparing us for a future that may demand more resilience and mutual support.

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This is a special summary episode with reflection points from 2023 to take forward into the year ahead. The episode pulls together one key idea from each conversation, accompanied by some thoughts on why I found it particularly helpful and interesting. In this episode you will hear extracts from Oliver Burkeman, Anna Lembke, Lisa Miller, Tim Ingold, Will Storr, Helena Norberg Hodge, Sir Terry Waite, and Madeleine Bunting. Each of these people has a perspective which is worth attending to - one which might hopefully be a positive influence for the year ahead.

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Ever found yourself pondering what truly constitutes a sense of 'home'? Join me as I, alongside award-winning author and journalist, Madeline Bunting, explore the multifaceted concept of home and the profound emotions associated with it. From reminiscing about our childhood homes, to discussing how our upbringing shaped our perceptions about home, we explore the essence of home, and the different meanings it takes.

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Sir Terry Waite spent almost five years in solitary confinement as a hostage in Beirut. After being  released he founded Emmaus UK for the homeless and Hostage International, both of which he is president of.  He has recently been knighted as recognition for his work. In this conversation we explore the damage done by the erosion of trust, how to rebuild it, and how suffering can be turned to creative ends. There are few people today who manage to combine the humility and courage that Sir Terry seems to so naturally possess, he is a true inspiration.

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Why does life seem to be getting harder and faster day by day? How can we shift the paradigm towards a more sustainable and harmonious existence? Join us as we tackle these questions with Helena Norberg-Hodge, an influential thinker, writer, award-winning filmmaker, and founder of the non-profit Local Futures. 

Helena shares her insights on the broken economic system and its devastating impact on our mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. Drawing from her experience living with the Ladakh in Tibet, we discuss how embracing a more interconnected and interdependent worldview can lead to a healthier planet and lifestyle. Helena also reveals the importance of promoting local economies can foster adaptation, reduce waste, and create more accountable practices.

Finally, we examine the dangers of blind faith in technology and the vital role of experiential knowledge in our lives. Discover how we can challenge technological optimism, reconnect with nature, and renew our sense of hope for a more balanced and sustainable future. 

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How do you keep score in the game of life? Journalist and author Will Storr explores the evolutionary roots of our need to play games for status and connection, and why it is valuable to become consciously aware of the games we are playing, and what the different games are that we play across the lifespan. 

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Tim Ingold is a professor of Social Anthropology at the University of Aberdeen. He is a fellow of the British Academy and the Royal Society of Edinburgh, and is one of the most influential anthropologists in the field today. This conversation explores the way we have come to think about the passage of human generations, and why there is a need to think differently in order to live sustainably.

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Dr Lisa Miller is a professor of psychology at Columbia University in New York. Her books The Spiritual Child and The Awakened Brain focus on the psychology of spirituality, and why it is so important to pay attention to our innate spirituality. Dr Miller's work is fascinating, profound, and practical at illuminating an aspect of being that is rarely given scientific attention but is crucial to human flourishing.

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Anna Lembke is a professor of psychiatry at Stanford University, and a world leading expert on addiction. Her influential book Dopamine Nation describes the ways our culture is primed to make us into addicts. Dr Lembke's work is compelling, and provides a raft of practical advice for navigating a culture where so much of life has become 'drugified' to make us into addicts.

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The writer and journalist Oliver Burkeman has spent the last few decades studying and writing about different self-help and productivity strategies. One of the conclusions Oliver has come to, is that there is liberation in realising our limitations. In this first episode of the series, Oliver explores the question of how we can more fully embrace our finitude.

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Ruth Taylor explores how our cultural conditions shape our values and beliefs, revealing how we can build futures where humans and other life forms flourish together on our planet. She illuminates the often invisible narratives that guide our thinking and behavior, showing how these shape everything from our personal happiness to our collective response to global challenges.

• The "values perception gap" - most people prioritize intrinsic values like community and equality, but believe others are more motivated by wealth and status
• Deep narratives like "growth is always good" or "humans are fundamentally selfish" shape our entire approach to social and environmental problems
• Research shows prioritizing intrinsic values leads to greater well-being than pursuing external rewards like wealth and status
• Our society lacks spaces for reflection on values, leaving us vulnerable to constant messaging promoting consumption and competition
• Creating "glimmers" - spaces and experiences that demonstrate alternative ways of living aligned with our deeper human values
• Cultural change requires both individual reflection on our values and structural changes to systems that currently reinforce harmful narratives
• Real change happens at the deepest level, addressing the root cultural conditions rather than just symptoms of problems

Find out more about Ruth's work on her Substack channel Culture Soup, or take her Values 101 course with the Common Cause Foundation.

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What does it mean to live a purposeful life? Is the way you're spending your time truly reflective of your deepest values and aspirations? These questions stand at the heart of my enlightening conversation with William Damon, Professor of Psychology at Stanford University and a world-renowned expert on purpose and moral development.

Damon brings decades of research to bear on understanding how purpose shapes our lives, offering a compelling definition that transcends simple personal satisfaction. True purpose, he explains, must be both meaningful to ourselves and consequential to the world beyond ourselves. This dual focus distinguishes purpose from mere ambition or self-interest, creating a pathway to both personal fulfillment and meaningful contribution.

Our discussion explores how purpose evolves across the lifespan, with Damon sharing insights about why approximately 20-25% of people find themselves "drifting" without clear direction. Contrary to popular belief, purpose isn't something we discover in a single moment of clarity, but rather develops gradually through experimentation, feedback, and mentorship. Damon vulnerably shares his own journey of finding purpose through early writing experiences and later through reconciling with his absent father's legacy—a powerful illustration of how understanding our past can illuminate our future direction.

Ready to examine whether your daily activities align with your ultimate concerns? This conversation offers practical wisdom for anyone seeking to live with greater intention and meaning. Subscribe to The Examined Life podcast for more thought-provoking discussions about the questions that matter most.

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What shapes our children's future? Who are they becoming? And why aren't we talking about it more? Katharine Birbalsingh, known as "Britain's strictest headteacher," has a clear vision for the role of school's in shaping the future of Britain.

"Children are the future and families and schools influence who they will become, and we seem to care about neither," she observes with passion that's impossible to ignore. While politicians debate net-zero targets and immigration policies, Katharine argues we're missing something far more urgent – the values being instilled in children today will determine tomorrow's cultural landscape.

At her Michaela Free School in London, Katharine has pioneered an approach that prioritizes character formation alongside academic excellence. She rejects the increasingly popular notion that teaching children boundaries somehow restricts their freedom. Instead, she offers a compelling alternative: structure actually enables maturity and growth. When children understand the difference between right and wrong, they develop the internal resources to resist harmful influences and make positive contributions to society.

This conversation takes us into questions of belonging, personal responsibility, and moral formation. Katharine articulates a vision of education rarely heard in mainstream discourse – one where schools aren't merely credential factories but communities that shape virtuous human beings.  She insists that what matters most isn't test scores but "who they are as people." This isn't empty rhetoric – it's the foundation of her educational philosophy. By cultivating virtues through daily habits, children develop the character that naturally leads to success in all areas of life.

Katharine's perspective seems quite distinct from those espoused in episodes 1 and 3 of this series - which share similar concerns. Where do you stand? Join the conversation on Substack - Positively Maladjusted | kenneth primrose | Substack, or on the youtube channel (1) Examined Life Podcast - YouTube

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If you’re a parent or a teacher, you’ve probably wondered about what the best conditions are for psychological development in children, and where we might have gone so wrong as a society. This week, we talk with psychologist Peter Gray about the developmental needs of children, and why long school days, risk free environments, and too much supervision are wreaking havoc with their psychological development.

Other episodes on parenting/teaching:

Michaeleen Doucleff on the universals of childhood - https://examined-life.com/interviews/michaeleen-doucleffe/

Links:

Peter Gray's Substack - https://petergray.substack.com/

Peter Gray's TED talk on play - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bg-GEzM7iTk

Kenny's Substack - https://substack.com/@kennyprimrose?utm_source=user-menu

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Michael Sacasas writes about technology and human flourishing through his wildly popular newsletter The Convivial Society. I have been reading his work for a number of years and find it both winsome and wise. It was delight to have the opportunity to speak to him about a question he thinks we should be asking ourselves.

In this conversation we explore the question of what humans should still do for themselves even when technology can do it better or more efficiently. This conversation challenges our assumptions about technological progress and asks us to consider what makes for a truly good human life.

• Technology often promises efficiency but requires us to question what we might be losing in the process
• Albert Borgman's concept of "focal things" versus "devices" helps us understand what's lost when we automate tasks
• Central heating removed family participation and togetherness that came with maintaining a hearth
• Writing by hand or thinking through drafts teaches us what we think in ways AI writing can't replace
• Even mundane tasks like washing dishes can provide valuable moments for reflection and conversation
• The Amish demonstrate thoughtful technology adoption by evaluating each innovation against community values
• Getting outdoors, learning names of plants and animals, and cooking together builds connection with the world
• Leading with positive practices rather than just limiting technology helps children understand family values
• Face-to-face encounters and "weak ties" with neighbors become increasingly important in our mediated world

If you've found this episode valuable, please subscribe to the podcast and newsletter,  to stay up to date with forthcoming episodes, and read regular reflections on these interviews.

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What if the Western approach to parenting is based on spurious cultural assumptions, not human nature? In this episode, science writer Michaeleen Doucleff takes us inside indigenous communities around the world to reveal what Western parenting gets backwards, as we explore her question - what are the universals of childhood? From the origins of modern parenting in orphanage manuals to the power of kids contributing to real family life, we explore what children actually need to thrive — and how small shifts can create big changes in connection, confidence, and calm at home.

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In this summary episode, we take the theme of attention which runs through most of conversations in the second season. In the episode you'll hear fragments of conversation from Iain McGilchrist, Dacher Keltner, Dougald Hine, Phoebe Tickell, Alex Evans, Elizabeth Oldfield, Jill Bolte-Taylor, Eve Poole and Todd Kashdan. Over this short episode, you'll hear discussion of a wide range of topics, from religion,  AI and smartphones, to the role of awe and imagination.

Click here to access any of the podcast episodes in full - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-examined-life/id1680728280

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In this brief episode we explore a short soundbite from a previous episode with philosopher of technology LM Sacasas. In it we explore the way that efficiency and ease might give with one hand, while taking with the other. 

- check out the previous episode in full here -  https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/michael-sacasas-what-should-we-be-doing-for-ourselves/id1680728280?i=1000705506079

- LM Sacasas substack here - https://substack.com/@theconvivialsociety

- This Examined Life substack here - https://thisexaminedlife.substack.com/?utm_campaign=profile_chips

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Comfort is easy; appetite is sacred. We trace a surprising path to steadier happiness by leaning, gently but deliberately, into friction. Drawing on psychiatrist Anna Lembke’s insight that our modern environment is addictogenic, we look at how endless convenience and constant dopamine nudges can flatten mood, fog attention, and leave us restless. Then we put the theory to the test with a cold North Sea dip—short, sharp, and strangely joyful on the other side.

Across the conversation, we unpack why the human nervous system needs stress in measured doses. Think hormesis: brief, voluntary challenges like hard exercise, short fasts from alcohol or sugar, or cold exposure that nudge the brain into balance and rebuild resilience. A greenhouse tree grows fast but topples without wind; without resistance, we also lose inner structure. By choosing small hardships, we earn the afterglow—a calmer baseline, cleaner focus, and a renewed appetite for simple pleasures.

We also explore practical ways to invite healthy stress without going extreme. Start with one constraint you can keep this week, and notice the shift: food tastes better, sleep deepens, and mornings feel less rushed. The aim isn’t suffering for its own sake; it’s recalibrating reward so that life’s ordinary moments become vivid again. If abundance has dulled your edge, a little voluntary discomfort can turn the volume back down on noise and up on meaning.

If this resonates, follow along for more short reflections, share the episode with a friend who needs a reset, and join our Substack community for deeper dives. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us: what small hardship will you choose this week?

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Sir Anthony Seldon is one of the most influential voices in the UK on education. He has led three prominent independent school, and written or edited more than 40 books.

In this episode we explore how education can honour what truly matters in a time when AI can outscore us on the tests we designed. Sir Anthony Seldon lays out a shift from human capital to human flourishing, urging schools to cultivate agency, character, and love of learning.

• redefining the purpose of education toward human flourishing
• harms of exam-driven systems and narrow metrics
• every child’s unique gifts and “song”
• AI exposing the limits of cognitive-only assessment
• OECD’s human flourishing model and core competences
• coaching pedagogy to build agency and judgment
• practices for inner life, mindfulness, and body care
• virtues and pro-social habits for a resilient future
• choosing subjects you love to sustain motivation
• balancing measurable outcomes with the immeasurable

As ever, do please share this episode with others you think might like it or on social media

Sign up for This Examined Life on Substack, where you can receive updates, bits of writing, and you can support the show

Any feedback or ideas can be emailed to me at kp@examined-life.com

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Living With Purpose: Insights from Victor Strecher

In this episode of The Examined Life Podcast, host Kenny Primrose explores the profound questions of life's purpose and values with Professor Victor Strecher, a leading expert in the field from the University of Michigan. Strecher shares his deeply personal journey following the tragic death of his daughter, which led him to a renewed focus on what matters most in life. The conversation delves into how reflecting on death and one's core values can lead to a more purposeful and fulfilling life. Strecher also discusses the scientific and physiological benefits of having a strong sense of purpose, the distinction between self-transcending and self-aggrandizing purposes, and practical steps for individuals seeking to discover their own purpose. The episode touches on themes of identity, motivation, and the human condition, offering listeners profound insights and practical advice for living a more examined life.

00:00 Introduction: What Matters Most

00:34 Welcome to The Examined Life Podcast

00:44 Exploring Victor Strecher's 'Life On Purpose'

01:40 A Conversation with Professor Victor Strecher

03:35 The Big Question: Who Am I?

05:09 The Root System of Our Lives

08:09 A Personal Story of Loss and Purpose

14:15 The Mystical Experience and Its Impact

21:32 The Role of Death in Understanding Life

24:59 Exploring the Neuroscience of Purpose

25:26 The Role of Core Values in Purpose

26:16 Purpose and the Brain's Fear Center

26:53 Building the Brain's Purpose Muscle

28:08 Types of Purpose: Self-Transcending vs. Self-Aggrandizing

28:57 Historical Perspectives on Purpose

31:52 The Metaphor of the Camel, Lion, and Child

35:05 The Crisis of Meaning and Purpose

41:51 Practical Steps to Discovering Your Purpose

47:39 Final Thoughts and Reflections

Links:

Substack - https://thisexaminedlife.substack.com/?utm_campaign=profile_chips

Examined Life Website - www.examined-life.com

Victor Strecher - https://sph.umich.edu/faculty-profiles/strecher-victor.html

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We trace how realistic hope sustains people through captivity and crisis, from the Stockdale Paradox to Sir Terry Waite’s agency in confinement, and preview Dr. Lucy Hone's reframe of resilience as steering through rather than bouncing back. A brief, grounded message closes for anyone in a hard season, with a request to share and stay connected.

• what the Stockdale paradox really means
• why deadline‑based optimism breaks people
• agency as daily practice under pressure
• sir Terry Waite’s memory and interior freedom
• resilience as steering through, not bouncing back
• pragmatism, optimism, and agency as core tools
• a preview of the conversation with dr Lucy Hone

See if you can think of one person who you think might find this helpful, who might need to hear about optimism and pragmatism and finding agency in dark times
Sign up to the Substack This Examined Life if you haven't done so already, where you can receive the newsletter and upcoming episodes and events, and leave a review on the podcast channel if you get the chance. Wherever you get your podcast, it really helps others to find it.

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A short trailer for the forthcoming season where we explore mortality, immortality, loss, grief and finding meaning in the wake of them. 

In the above clip you'll hear snippets from Lucy Hone, BJ Miller, Kathryn Mannix and Victor Strecher - with other episodes to follow. Subscribe and stay tuned for the forthcoming episodes, and sign up to This Examined Life on Substack to receiving updates and related essays to your inbox - This Examined Life | kenneth primrose | Substack

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We explore what human flourishing means beyond quick hits of happiness and how attention, character, and community shape a life with depth. We offer practical ways to set tech boundaries, recover presence, and build habits that support meaning and stronger relationships.

• defining flourishing as purpose, virtue, health, relationships, and stability
• attention as a moral act that shapes identity
• flow states, boredom, and the role of friction in mastery
• how persuasive tech erodes agency and presence
• resilience, emotion regulation, and numbing versus feeling
• presence and awe as markers of a meaningful life
• community ties, shared rituals, and mutual flourishing
• practical boundaries for phones and persuasive design
• replacing screen time with calls, walks, craft, and rest

If you enjoyed this, please send it to someone who might benefit; subscribe, leave a review.

- For More information about the Digital Detox Club, click here - Home | The Digital Detox Club

- To sign up for This Examined Life on Substack, click here - This Examined Life | kenneth primrose | Substack

Music made by Moby (mobygratis - Free Moby music to empower your creative projects)

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BJ Miller on Loss, Meaning, and Learning to Feel

In this conversation, Kenny Primrose speaks with palliative care physician BJ Miller, co-founder of Mettle Health, about grief—not as an interruption to life, but as one of its central experiences.

Rather than treating grief as something that happens only after death, Miller suggests it is a constant human condition: the emotional response to loving things that inevitably change, fade, or disappear. The problem, he argues, is that modern culture is profoundly grief-illiterate. We rush people toward closure, reward emotional stoicism, and teach one another to avoid feeling too much.

Drawing on his own life—including a catastrophic electrical accident at age 19 and the later death of his sister, Miller explores how grief shapes identity, attention, relationships, and even politics. When grief is denied, it often reappears disguised as anger, grievance, blame, or division. When felt honestly, however, grief reconnects us to meaning, deepens aliveness, and enlarges our capacity to live well.

The conversation ranges from personal loss to healthcare reform, from daily mortality practices to the healing role of beauty and nature at the end of life. 

In This Episode

•  Why grief is not exceptional but universal 
•  How emotional avoidance creates “grief illiteracy” 
•  The pressure to perform strength—and its hidden costs 
•  What patients at the end of life teach about living 
•  How grief transforms into anger, grievance, and polarization 
•  Loss as a doorway to presence and gratitude 
•  The importance of rituals and communal containers for mourning 
•  Why medicine often treats death as failure 
•  Practicing mortality as a path to meaning 
•  Beauty, nature, and tenderness as forms of medicine 

Key Ideas

Grief as Love Continuing
Grief reveals what mattered. Rather than diminishing life, it clarifies it.

Grief vs. Grievance
Unfelt grief frequently becomes blame, resentment, or political division.

Learning to Feel
Emotional literacy—pausing before reacting, tolerating discomfort—is both personally healing and socially protective.

Rituals Matter
Modern societies have lost many shared practices that help people metabolize loss. We must rediscover or reinvent them.

Rethinking Healthcare
End-of-life care should prioritize meaning, beauty, and connection—not simply the postponement of death.

Website - www.examined-life.com

Substack - https://thisexaminedlife.substack.com

Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@ExaminedLifePodcast

BJ's TED talk - https://www.ted.com/talks/bj_miller_what_really_matters_at_the_end_of_life

Other resources on Grief - https://edition.cnn.com/all-there-is-anderson-cooper

Mettle Health - https://www.mettlehealth.com/ 

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Learning from Loss with Dr. Lucy Hone

How do you survive the unthinkable? When resilience researcher Dr. Lucy Hone lost her 12-year-old daughter in a tragic accident, she didn't just study the science of grief—she had to live it. In this episode, Lucy joins Kenny Primrose to share the practical, evidence-based tools that help us oscillate between mourning and living, and what we can learn about life in the wake of loss.

In This Episode:

In this new series on grief and mortality, we explore why the "stages of grief" model often fails us and what actually works instead. Dr. Lucy Hone discusses her journey from the University of Pennsylvania’s resilience program to the frontlines of her own personal tragedy.

Key Topics Discussed:

• The Myth of "Bouncing Back": Why we need a more pragmatic definition of resilience.
• The 3 Habits of Resilient Grievers: Simple, actionable shifts in attention that can change your trajectory.
• The "Helping or Harming" Test: A vital tool for psychological flexibility.
• The Jigsaw Metaphor: How to rebuild your life when the old pieces no longer fit.
• Hidden Grief: Understanding "non-death" losses and how to process them.

About Lucy:

Dr. Lucy Hone is a best-selling author, TED speaker, and co-director of the New Zealand Institute of Wellbeing & Resilience. Her work has been published in The Journal of Positive Psychology and featured in The Washington Post, BBC, and The Guardian.

Resources Mentioned:

• Book: Resilient Grieving: How to Find Your Way Through a Devastating Loss
• New Book: How Will I Ever Get Through This? (On hidden and non-death grief)
• TED Talk: The Three Secrets of Resilient People

Connect with The Examined Life:

• Host: Kenny Primrose
• Website: www.examined-life.com
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@ExaminedLifePodcast
• Follow & Subscribe on substack: https://thisexaminedlife.substack.com/ 
• Support the series - buymeacoffee.com/kennyprimrose 

If you found this episode helpful, please leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—it helps others find these conversations.

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Mortality: Threat or Catalyst? A Conversation with Dr. Kathryn Mannix

In this episode of The Examined Life, Kenny Primrose is in conversation with writer, speaker, and retired palliative care physician Dr. Kathryn Mannix about whether mortality is experienced as a threat or a catalyst for living. Mannix describes how early fear and resentment of death drew her to caring for dying patients, what she observed as medical abandonment, and how nurses taught her that the most important thing at the bedside is “how you are.” She argues that modern culture has lost “death literacy,” fueling fears shaped by Hollywood depictions and that talking about death through storytelling helps people to understand ordinary dying and what to expect. The discussion covers loss of control, end-of-life “audits,” regret as a processed, safer place than rage or shame, emotional literacy, and companionship that makes space for distress. Mannix suggests accepting finitude can clarify values and cultivate gratitude.

00:00 Mortality As Catalyst

01:27 Meet Dr Mannix

04:01 Threat Or Catalyst

04:32 Learning To Be Present

11:22 Magical Thinking Fears

16:56 What Dying Looks Like

23:11 End Of Life Audit

27:38 Rethinking Regret

32:25 Regrets and Joys

34:05 Regret as Wisdom

35:01 Emotional Literacy Work

38:35 Guilt Shame Reframing

40:50 Self Compassion Voices

43:33 Holding Space Culture

48:52 Telling the Story

51:22 End of Life Audit

53:28 Death Catalyst Gratitude

58:59 Closing Reflections

Relevant Links:

https://www.kathrynmannix.com/

www.examined-life.com

https://thisexaminedlife.substack.com/

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Stephen Cave is a philosopher, writer, and Director of the Leverhulme Centre for the Future of Intelligence at the University of Cambridge. His work sits at the intersection of philosophy, religion, ethics, and technology, exploring humanity’s oldest questions about death, meaning, immortality, and what it means to live well in a rapidly changing world.

Before entering academia, Stephen worked as a diplomat for the British Foreign Office. He is an internationally recognised public philosopher whose research and writing examine how human beings confront mortality, and how emerging technologies, especially artificial intelligence, are reshaping those responses.

In this conversation, we explore why the awareness of death may be the defining feature of being human, and how our attempts to escape mortality continue to shape culture, religion, science, and modern technological ambition.

In This Episode We Explore:

• The evolutionary roots of the survival instinct paired with a uniquely human awareness of death
• Terror Management Theory and why immortality beliefs appear across cultures
• Religion, legacy, fame, and technology as competing “immortality stories”
• The wisdom tradition: gratitude for the sheer unlikeliness of being alive
• Serving others as an antidote to self-focused mortality anxiety
• Presence, mindfulness, and practices that reduce future-oriented fear
• Near-death experiences — and how naturalistic explanations can still preserve meaning
• Why living “forever” might collapse identity, values, and purpose
• Life-expectancy myths, real medical progress, and the limits of longevity optimism
• AI and biological technologies accelerating anti-ageing research
• Modern abundance alongside a growing crisis of meaning
• Population pressure, carrying capacity, and what it would take for longer lives to go well

Stephen Cave’s Books

• Immortality: The Quest to Live Forever and How It Drives Civilization
  A widely acclaimed philosophical exploration of humanity’s enduring attempts to overcome death.
• Should You Choose to Live Forever?
  A concise introduction to one of philosophy’s most provocative questions: would immortality actually be good for us?
• AI Narratives: A History of Imaginative Thinking about Intelligent Machines (with Kanta Dihal)
  An exploration of how stories, myths, and cultural imagination shape our understanding of artificial intelligence.

Podcast Links:

www.examined-life.com

https://thisexaminedlife.substack.com/

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Gavin Francis is a GP in Edinburgh, and also one of the best writers I know of on what it means to be a body moving through a life. In this conversation we got into territory I didn't quite expect — how much of modern spiritual hunger ends up in the consulting room, why a diagnosis can be both a relief and a trap, and what it actually looks like to help someone climb out of a dark period without reaching straight for a prescription.

He has a ten-point list he shares with patients in despair. It's practical without being glib, and I think it's quietly one of the most useful things in this episode.

We also talked about attention — how flow and deep engagement are being quietly eroded, what AI convenience might be costing us in terms of capability and friction, and why awe and equanimity aren't soft ideas but things that actually hold communities together.

He's thoughtful, unhurried, and genuinely humble about what medicine can and can't do. I came away with a clearer sense of what flourishing actually means — which is not the same thing as happiness, and is worth distinguishing.

If it resonates, please pass it on. You can find more conversations like this at This Examined Life — and if you'd like updates and new episodes delivered to you, sign up on Substack.

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What does death reveal about who we really are?

This week I'm joined by Professor Douglas Davies, Director of the Centre for Death and Life Studies at Durham University and one of the world's leading scholars of death, ritual, and belief. His work spans decades and disciplines — from the anthropology of funerals to digital legacy, from woodland burial to the theology of grief — and his central conviction runs through all of it: the dead live within us, and recognising that can help us live better.

We talk about the ways death strips away the myth of the self-made individual, revealing that we are fundamentally relational beings — shaped by the people, places, and memories we carry. Along the way, we cover the full arc of how societies and individuals make meaning in the face of mortality.

We talk about:

• Résumé virtues versus eulogy virtues — and why the gap between them matters
• The concept of "dividual" personhood, and why the idea of a fixed, separate self breaks down when we actually look at how people live and grieve
• How grief theory has shifted from letting go to continuing bonds — and what that means for how we mourn
• Why funerals work: their role as social containers for emotion and meaning
• The rise of celebration of life services and direct cremation, and what those trends tell us
• Woodland burial, the scattering of ashes, and the pull of relational places
• Dying alone, shame, dignity, and what COVID forced us to confront about community
• Digital death platforms, online memorials, and why offline ritual still does something different
• New body disposition options, including alkaline hydrolysis
• Pets, suicide, and the ways love complicates every tidy theory of grief

For further reading, Douglas's book Death, Ritual and Belief: The Rhetoric of Funerary Rites (now in its third edition) is a rich and authoritative guide to everything this conversation touches — available from Blackwell's and other independent bookshops.

If this episode resonated with you, the best thing you can do is share it with someone. Word of mouth is genuinely how the podcast finds new listeners. And if you haven't already, leaving a review is hugely appreciated.

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What does it mean to try to change the world — without losing yourself, or everyone else, in the process?

This week I'm joined by Anthea Lawson: activist, writer, former journalist, and campaigner who has spent three decades working on issues from the arms trade to financial secrecy. Her new book, How Not to Save the World: Doing Good Without Annoying Everyone (Oneworld, 2026), is a candid and hopeful look at the traps that well-meaning people fall into — and how to find a better way through.

We explore the hidden "save the world" script that pushes so many of us toward either frantic overwork or numb despair, and why both tend to backfire. Anthea maps out a third path — grounded in humility, relationship, and local people power — that turns out to be more effective, and more sustaining, than heroic effort alone.

We talk about:

• The two default responses when the world feels overwhelming: compulsion and shutdown
• What "script messages" are, and how unconscious patterns quietly drive activism culture
• How a genuine commitment to good can tip into righteousness that pushes people away
• Why the protest voice often fails in everyday relationships — and what listening can do instead
• How purity tests and perfectionism raise the barrier to entry and shrink movements
• Overwhelm as a structural tactic that keeps communities divided and reactive
• "I know better" dynamics, lived experience, and the legacy of class and white saviour thinking
• Why meaningful change now requires people power over individual heroics
• Antidotes: service, bridge-building, showing up without ego, and the value of genuine relationship
• Regulating the nervous system through embodiment and co-regulation
• Making space for grief — not as defeat, but as something shared that creates breathing room

How Not to Save the World is available from independent bookshops — you can order it through Bookshop.org, which supports independent booksellers directly.

Follow Anthea's writing and thinking on Substack at anthealawson.substack.com.

If you enjoyed this episode, a rating or review goes a long way — and do sign up on Substack for This Examined Life, where you'll find updates, newsletters, and reflections between episodes.

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