Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast The Ex-Good Girl Podcast
| Titre | Date | Durée | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Episode 171 - The Small People-Pleasing Behaviors That Add Up | 22 Jul 2026 | 00:21:23 | |
Most women are familiar with what people-pleasing looks like. You say yes when you mean no, avoid conflict, or never ask for what you need. But some of the most exhausting people-pleasing doesn't happen in those big, obvious moments. It happens in tiny ways that have become so automatic we don’t notice them. In this episode, we're looking at these subtle habits through the lens of micro people-pleasing: the invisible, everyday behaviors driven by your nervous system that quietly steal your time, energy, and attention. Once you understand these small tendencies, you can begin interrupting them before they add up. Here's what I cover:
Reserve your seat for my next workshop: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 170 - The People-Pleasing Conversation I Had With My Teenager | 15 Jul 2026 | 00:19:53 | |
People-pleasing tendencies start much earlier in life than many of us realize, and there comes a point when children need to begin unlearning those behaviors so they don't carry them into adulthood. Inspired by a conversation I recently had with my 16-year-old son, I’m breaking down people-pleasing in a way that teens can understand and showing how the same tools I use with my coaching clients can help younger generations too. Learning to recognize these patterns and find your voice early is such a gift. Whether you're sharing this episode with a teen in your life or using these concepts to help guide and encourage them, I hope this episode gives you both more confidence to start speaking up. Here’s what I cover:
Reserve your seat for my next workshop: sarafisk.coach/voice Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 161 - The Two Conversation Buckets | 06 May 2026 | 00:25:20 | |
There are almost always two things happening when hard conversations feel impossible, and understanding the difference can change everything. In this episode, I’m introducing what I call the two communication buckets—clarity and vulnerability—and why they so often lead women into silence, self-protection, and disconnected relationships. You’ll hear why confusion between the two buckets is one of the biggest reasons hard conversations stay stuck, and how the relationships that feel most alive and nourishing are built on both the willingness to say the true thing and the willingness to let yourself truly be seen. Here’s what I cover:
Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 76 - Unconventional Choices: Childfree By Choice with Amber Taylor, Pauline Yan, Melissa G Wirt, and Dr. Susie Castellanos Hansley | 21 Aug 2024 | 01:02:01 | |
I’m thrilled to kick off my “Unconventional Choices” series with an incredible lineup of guests and fellow coaches—Amber Taylor, Pauline Yan, Melissa G. Wirt, and Dr. Susie Castellanos Hansley—all of whom have chosen to remain child-free. Together, we challenge societal norms and our “good-girl” programming as we discuss the pressures of motherhood and womanhood while celebrating the empowerment that comes from intentional choices. This conversation is for everyone interested in the diversity of women’s experiences and embracing our unique journeys without shame or judgment. I can’t wait for you to listen. Amber Taylor (She/Her), also known as the Pleasure Priority Coach, uses her skills to help Black Millenials navigate the gap between the peace and fulfillment they thought they’d feel and what they actually feel despite their achievements. Amber helps her clients curate fulfilling relationships and to never settle for less. Pauline Yan, CFA, CAIA (She/Her) is a financial educator and coach. After 16 successful years at a financial firm, she now helps women and first-time investors navigate the complex landscape of the stock market to make sound investments. Melissa G Wirt (She/Her) is a dual-certified life coach who helps people in midlife and beyond get unstuck and feel better about their careers and relationships. With compassion and understanding, she helps clients take doable steps to create results they didn’t think possible. Dr. Susie Castellanos Hansley (She/Her) is the Stress LESS Coach. A former academic and Master Certified Life Coach, she helps smart, high achievers ditch the stressed version of themselves, create work-life balance, and live joyful lives without giving up on their career goals. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 75 - How To Drink Like a Woman Who Loves Herself with Colleen Kachmann | 14 Aug 2024 | 00:41:26 | |
I am so grateful for my conversation with this week’s guest, Colleen Kachmann, where we tackle an important and often tricky topic: drinking. Tune in as we explore how drinking is tied to perfectionism and people pleasing and how, thanks to her own journey, Colleen is helping women rise above it. Colleen is a Certified Master Life & Recovery Coach who uses cutting-edge strategies in nervous system regulation, growth mindset, positive psychology, and self-directed neuroplasticity to help women reconnect with a higher sense of purpose so they can feel passionate and powerful again. She holds a Bachelor of Science in education, a Master of Science in coaching, and a professional certificate in Women’s Functional and Integrative Medicine. Through her own experience with alcoholism, Colleen founded Recover with Colleen after realizing that being “sober” is not a good goal. Pursuing happiness instead of sobriety is the ONLY way to reclaim your power. Once you realize that you can actually trust yourself, the only rule you need to follow is your intuition – you just need to learn how to listen. Colleen helps women bypass the stigma and drama that society associates with sobriety by focusing on what’s really important – our relationship with ourselves. Her passion is to help women liberate themselves from the oppressive belief that there is something fundamentally broken or flawed about them so that they can unlock a higher level of purpose, passion, and power. I can’t wait for you to listen. PLEASE NOTE that while Colleen's approach is empowering, it might not be suitable for individuals with alcohol use disorder or active alcohol addiction. If you or someone you know is struggling with severe alcohol issues, please seek professional help tailored to those needs. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 74 - The Female Double Bind and How to Get OUT | 07 Aug 2024 | 00:22:32 | |
With everything happening in our world right now, especially politically here in the United States, we need to talk about the female double blind–the impossible double standards to which women are held that create no-win situations for us. So many examples of this show up in our everyday lives and are perpetuated by the media, and it needs to stop. In this episode, I delve into these double standards and the language that reinforces them, all aimed at keeping women from attaining leadership and power. As strong women, it’s time to dissect, understand, and reject the female double bind, no matter where you fall on the political spectrum. It’s time to see these double standards, call them out, and hold those perpetuating them accountable. The female double bind is always a trap, but together, we have the power to reject and rise above it. I can’t wait for you to listen. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 73 - What I'm Working On At The Moment | 31 Jul 2024 | 00:15:51 | |
This episode is all about honesty and vulnerability as I share what I’m currently working on in my life. While I’m a coach, I’m a person, too. As a person, I struggle with and navigate many challenges, especially those specifically related to womanhood. These experiences, part of my ongoing journey of growth and learning, make me a great coach and, despite what negative self-talk might try to convince me, a great human, just like you. So, if you’re struggling with anything or working through something, I want you to know that I’m in it with you, and I’m here to support you. Can’t wait for you to listen. Here’s a link to Episode 59: Transparency as a Woman in the Self-Help World, referenced in this episode. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 72 - Sneaky People Pleasing | 24 Jul 2024 | 00:21:06 | |
Did you know that people pleasing can be subtle–even sneaky? People pleasing goes far beyond the stereotypical inability to say “no.” In this episode, I reveal the people pleasing tendencies that catch us off guard–things like excessive politeness, perfectionism, and difficulty setting boundaries. Because it can show up in so many different ways, you need both deep self-connection and a capacity for discomfort to break free from people pleasing. Join me to learn how to recognize all of your people pleasing behaviors and how to increase your threshold for discomfort so you can start living as your authentic self. I can’t wait for you to listen. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 71 - I'm Not Living The Beautiful Life I Could Be with Angie Wilson | 17 Jul 2024 | 00:46:54 | |
I’m so grateful for my beautiful conversation with this week’s guest, Angie Wilson. Angie Wilson is a certified life coach specializing in helping women love their lives after divorce. With a master's degree in social work, Angie brings a rich background of experience to her coaching practice. She worked as a therapist and case manager for two years before dedicating 15 years to being a full-time homeschooling mom to her four amazing kids. In this episode, we dive into our shared background of growing up in conservative, religious families and how this experience impacted our people pleasing tendencies and years of perfectionating. Most importantly, we talk about our journeys to the other side–when we stopped looking outside ourselves for answers and started tuning into our intuition, needs, and desires. Angie's journey, one through divorce, was the most challenging experience of her life. Emerging stronger and more authentic, she transformed into a confident, independent woman. Now, Angie is passionate about guiding other women through recovery after divorce, helping them heal, grow, and find joy and fulfillment. With her compassionate approach and personal insight, Angie empowers her clients to embrace their new beginnings with confidence and optimism, and she brings that same energy to our conversation. I can’t wait for you to listen. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 70 - "I am so F*cking Proud of Myself" - Conversations with Women Who Have Stopped People Pleasing | 10 Jul 2024 | 00:54:17 | |
I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to sit down with Allyssya Gossett, Abby Wolfson, and Jayne Newman to dig into what it's like to be a woman programmed to people please—and what it's like to be a woman who stops. Allyssya is an educator and life coach who helps women step outside their comfort zone and into confidence so they can live the life they imagine. Abby is a child sleep coach, a parent coach to single moms by choice, a former pediatric nurse practitioner, and a mom of three. And Jayne is a self-described recovering people pleaser with a familiar story: good times, bad times—life—but one that keeps getting better as she goes. All three of these remarkable women have gone through the Stop People Pleasing program and done the incredibly hard work of learning to live honestly and authentically despite other people’s discomfort. In the episode, each of them shares what the process has been like, how their world has shifted, and what happened that they didn't expect—like how eliminating people pleasing hasn't made them selfish but instead made them value their wants and needs equally. Or how eliminating people pleasing hasn’t meant changing their personality but showing up as their real self. Finally, they share about how hard this work is and how the support of other women makes them feel brave enough to do it. I hope this episode will help you find clarity, solidarity, and courage wherever you are on the journey to stop people pleasing. Find Abby here: Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 69 - Awareness, Capacity and Skills Part Two: Listen In On This Coaching Call | 03 Jul 2024 | 00:35:51 | |
Welcome to part two of my series on how to make lasting, positive changes in your life. In part one, I shared my framework for change and three things you need to make it work: awareness, capacity, and skills. In this episode, I share a conversation I had during a coaching call with an amazing client. During this call, we discussed how she uses awareness, capacity, and the skills she's been learning in our sessions to stop abandoning herself and stop people pleasing. I am so grateful that she agreed to share this snippet from her session so that you can hear how awareness, capacity, and skills facilitate the shift to honoring yourself in real-life situations for lasting, positive change. After you listen, don’t forget to sign up for From Stuck to Secure, my masterclass and workshop series kicking off on June 25th, so you, too, can feel confident and secure as you learn to honor your needs and show up for yourself. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 68 - The Three Things You Need to Make a Change: Awareness, Capacity and Skills Part One | 26 Jun 2024 | 00:21:11 | |
Do you know what you need to make a change? I do. I can’t wait to share my framework for change with you. To make a lasting change, you need three things: awareness, capacity, and skills. In this episode, I share real-life strategies and examples of these three elements, and I invite you to join me on July 15 from 1-2 PM PST for a free skill-building workshop. It’s easy to get stuck on the “skills” part of making a change, which is why my Stop People Pleasing group coaching programs and workshops are designed to empower you to develop and practice new skills with courage, openness, and support. Get ready to delve into the process of change and learn how to navigate the discomfort that often accompanies it. I can’t wait for you to listen. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 67 - Expanding Your Capacity for Pleasure with Danielle Savory | 19 Jun 2024 | 01:04:04 | |
I’m excited to welcome Danielle Savory back to the show this week. Danielle is a master-certified coach, podcast host, and expert in neuropsychology, mindfulness, sexual pleasure, and intimacy. When she last joined us in episode 25, “Sexual Power with Danielle Savory,” she left us with the wisdom that “a woman's ability to be present in her body, to seek out and create pleasure for herself, to know what she wants and needs, and to be able to ask for it is the pinnacle of self-connection.” In this episode, we take a deep dive into what this means and explore the importance of giving ourselves permission to experience pleasure. Internal abuse and habitual social conditioning both take a toll on us, not just mentally but physically as well. By connecting with our bodies, we unlock the potential for healing and the ability to experience emotions exactly as we desire. It's a powerful journey toward self-discovery and fulfillment. I can’t wait for you to listen. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 160 - Staying Quiet Is Already Jeopardizing Your Relationships | 29 Apr 2026 | 00:27:20 | |
There’s one sentence I hear more than any other from the women I work with when we’re talking about hard conversations. It usually sounds like, I know I need to say something… but what if they get upset, what if they don’t like it, what if they push back? Underneath all of it is the same fear: what if I jeopardize the relationship? In this episode, we’re looking at where that fear comes from and how it’s really impacting your relationships, because resentment, anxiety, and disconnection don’t go away when you stay quiet; they just build over time. Here’s what I cover:
Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 66 - From Stuck to Secure | 12 Jun 2024 | 00:32:52 | |
This week’s podcast is an invitation. An invitation to stop feeling “stuck.” An invitation to step into the security and self-connection you need to move forward. Most importantly, it is an invitation to join my masterclass and workshop series, From Stuck to Secure, designed specifically for individuals seeking to improve their relationships, gain self-connection, find real belonging, and break free from people pleasing. In this episode, I share my personal journey of going from being stuck to being secure in my relationships. I emphasize the power of security, particularly security within yourself. Without it, you’re most likely trapped in a toxic and exhausting cycle of people pleasing and seeking endless external validation. But with security, you can take control – share your needs, take risks, and show up in every aspect of your life as your authentic YOU. It's about empowering yourself to be in charge of your happiness and fulfillment. I can’t wait for you to listen and to join From Stuck to Secure: Your Playbook for Changing Any Relationship, a masterclass in secure relationships, for an incredible value of just $37. Starting at the end of June, this masterclass and workshop series offers comprehensive information, personal guidance, and practical strategies that you’ll practice immediately. Here’s what to expect:
Sign Up Here: sarafisk.coach/stuck Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 65 - The People Pleaser's Guide to Co-Parenting with Mikki Gardner | 05 Jun 2024 | 01:01:54 | |
I really enjoyed my insightful and empowering conversation with this week’s guest, Mikki Gardner. Mikki is a mom to a teenage son, a Certified Life + Conscious Parenting Coach, the host of the Co-Parenting with Confidence podcast, and the bestselling author of the People Pleasers Guide to Co-Parenting Well. After navigating her own divorce hurdles and emerging stronger, she has made it her mission to help moms gain clarity so they can navigate divorce and co-parent with love and confidence. This week, we discuss co-parenting, whether we are still married to the person we're co-parenting with or not, whether they're another family member or someone else with whom we have a relationship. Mikki shares beautiful parenting principles and practical strategies on how to break free from societal conditioning and shift your energy to move away from what you don’t want and towards what you do want so you can be the actively loving parent your child needs. I can’t wait for you to listen.
Find Sara here: | |||
| The Ex-Good Girl Podcast is taking a break! | 29 May 2024 | 00:03:21 | |
Because everybody needs a break sometimes, the Ex-Good Girl podcast is on a four week break. We'll be back on June 5th with new episodes. Until then, listen to some of your old favorites, get caught up, or join my Stop People Pleasing Facebook group by finding the link in the show notes below. I can't wait to connect with you. Find Sara here: | |||
| The Ex-Good Girl Podcast is taking a break! | 22 May 2024 | 00:03:21 | |
Because everybody needs a break sometimes, the Ex-Good Girl podcast is on a four week break. We'll be back on June 5th with new episodes. Find Sara here: | |||
| The Ex-Good Girl Podcast is taking a break! | 15 May 2024 | 00:03:21 | |
Because everybody needs a break sometimes, the Ex-Good Girl podcast is on a four week break. We'll be back on June 5th with new episodes. Find Sara here: | |||
| The Ex-Good Girl Podcast is taking a break! | 08 May 2024 | 00:03:21 | |
Because everybody needs a break sometimes, the Ex-Good Girl podcast is on a four week break. We'll be back on June 5th with new episodes. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 64 - How I Created a Secure Relationship With My Husband | 01 May 2024 | 00:40:14 | |
I am so grateful to have a secure relationship with my husband, but it wasn’t always that way. Earlier in our relationship, I was terrified of being left by him, and I built myself an armor of hyper independence and dishonesty. I pretended to be ways I wasn’t to stay safe and “belong” with him. This lack of safety and insecurity in our relationship, I eventually realized, existed because I wasn’t safe with myself, and it wasn’t until I learned to create that safety with me that I could start to create safety in our relationship. When I did learn to become secure in myself, I was able to see more clearly what needed to change in our marriage, and I had the strength to ask for that change. In this episode, I talk about how I learned to create security with myself and how from there, I began creating security in my marriage and all my relationships. For those of you who are, like I was, feeling stuck in a painful relationship, I hope this episode will give you some clues into your own process of creating security in yourself first and in your relationships second. I can’t wait for you to listen, and I’d love to hear your thoughts when you do. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 63 - Writing Your Way Back to You with AshMae Hoiland | 24 Apr 2024 | 00:52:45 | |
I’m incredibly thankful for Ashmae Hoiland for creating such an engaging conversation this week. Ashmae is a talented writer, painter, and maker.
Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 62 - Acceptance is the Path to Power | 10 Apr 2024 | 00:27:38 | |
We have this idea that acceptance means approval, that if we accept when something goes wrong—when a boundary is crossed, when someone disappoints us, when we get rejected—we’re saying it’s okay. When this is how we define acceptance, we avoid it; and when we avoid acceptance, we reject reality. We avoid processing our unmet expectations; we avoid the grief that comes with unmet expectations; and ultimately, we keep ourselves stuck ruminating on what should have been. When we don’t accept what is, we use up all our energy thinking about the reality we can’t control until there’s no brain space left to think about the reality we can control. We tend to fear that accepting the reality of a situation means accepting our powerlessness to it, but when we think about it differently, acceptance actually becomes the thing that gives us our power back. That’s why I want to share my new definition of acceptance with you. I hope this will help you reclaim your power when unmet expectations leave you feeling powerless. Can’t wait for you to listen! Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 61 - How Working on My People Pleasing is Honoring Me with My Grief with Elizabeth Hester | 03 Apr 2024 | 00:22:39 | |
Today I have Elizabeth Hester joining me on the podcast. She’s a current member of the Stop People Pleasing group coaching program that started back in January. She’s a mother, teacher, and lifelong student. She’s also the owner of multiple UPS stores in North Carolina. She’s been processing her grief from the loss of her husband in the ways that work best for her. Grieving goes hand in hand with people pleasing- it’s all about getting comfortable with uncomfortable feelings. While in the group program, she’s learned how to stop apologizing, how to say no, and how to respond when strangers ask her about her husband. Grief teaches you to acknowledge how short life is and not waste time people pleasing anymore. Can’t wait for you to listen. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 159 - Why Your “Yes” Feels So Hard to Find | 22 Apr 2026 | 00:16:33 | |
The reason you feel stuck is not because you’re weak or broken, even though your brain may be telling you that. You’re stuck because you’ve gotten so good at being fine for so long that you and everyone around you don’t know anything different. Even when you can understand that, there’s often another layer underneath it: this pattern is so ingrained that you don’t even know what you want anymore. In this episode, I’m breaking down why your “no” has become so loud, and how you can start to find your way back to your “yes” and the life you actually want. Here’s what I cover:
Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 60 - Exploring Non-Traditional Relationships with Kimberly Mathis | 27 Mar 2024 | 00:56:30 | |
I’m so grateful for my guest Kimberly Mathis and this week’s fascinating conversation. Kimberly is a queer therapist-turned-general life coach with an ADHD brain who helps people change what feels unchangeable. She teaches her clients how to make their own decisions and navigate difficult relationships - including the one they have with themselves. She works with clients 1:1, loves sharing her work and life with her community on Instagram, and hosts a podcast called, "Decisions Change Everything." Healthy, respectful relationships can come in many forms. Traditional Western society pushes a heteronormative narrative about what makes a “successful” relationship- where longevity is valued more than quality. It IS possible to explore attractions and relationship dynamics in ways that are healthy, respectful, and respect your autonomy and someone else's. Communication is key, along with being vulnerable and tolerating discomfort. Can’t wait for you to listen. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 59 - Transparency as a Woman in the Self-Help World | 20 Mar 2024 | 00:24:58 | |
I want to have a conversation with you about the tension in this self-help marketing space so that you know where I’m coming from. I want you to know what my values are and I want you to know what I'm striving for. I want you to look at the lens of your own values through the products that are being marketed to you, because it is relentless. Making informed decisions about the self-help industry is so essential. Marketing can be misleading. We’re blamed for our problems and then sold products to fix them. There’s a multi-billion dollar industry backing the narrative that we need more. We need that one thing or ten things that might make our lives easier and happier. I’m here to tell you that you don’t need some fabricated form of healing made by society. Healing is feeling like you have the support and opportunities you need to make meaningful change happen in your life. Take care of yourself. Can’t wait for you to listen. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 58 - Stories from Inside Stop People Pleasing Group Coaching Program | 13 Mar 2024 | 01:24:50 | |
This episode features conversations I did with four current participants of my Stop People Pleasing group coaching program: Natalie Hagwood, Elizabeth Sherman, Kelly True, and Gini Ewart. I hope that by hearing their stories, you're inspired to see what is possible for you, and take a little peek into some of the things that I teach. When each participant joins, I ask them the same questions about their experience. I feel like it helps potential participants to see firsthand accounts of how the program worked for others. We talk about what the program’s been like for them, the hesitations they may have had at first about joining, what has surprised them the most about the process of uncovering their people pleasing, what tools from the program have been most helpful, and what they would tell someone who’s thinking about joining. After you listen, if you want to practice some of the same things I’ve taught in the program, use the link in the show notes to get added to my free Facebook group. On March 25 - 27, I’m going to be doing a free 3-day challenge to teach you how to say no, or whatever it is you’re avoiding saying - and not die. In 3 short, practical sessions, I’ll teach you what you need to know. Then on April 1st, we’ll get together for a bonus free coaching session to cover what the experience was like for you. I hope to see you there! Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 57 - What If Your Marriage Was A Tool For Liberation? with Maggie Reyes | 06 Mar 2024 | 00:42:57 | |
Maggie Reyes is a wonderful marriage coach who I had the honor of having as a coach myself. Maggie helped me get to another version of my marriage that has been just so delightful. She has a podcast called “The Marriage Life Coach Podcast.” Maggie’s double-certified as both a Life Coach and a Sex, Love and Relationship coach by two of the most innovative thinkers and teachers in the self development industry: Brooke Castillo and Layla Martin. She also graduated from The Life Coach School (LCS) in 2012 as Certified Professional Life Coach. Back in the day, marriage used to be a business transaction. Now, we're flipping the script and finding liberation through our relationships. We can be the leaders of the relationships that we want to have. Ask yourself: "If we were equal partners, what would that look like?" Say to yourself: "I matter." Feeling freedom of expression in our relationships is essential. Can't wait for you to listen. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 56 - How To Advocate For Yourself in a Medical Setting with Sara Hughes Zabawa | 28 Feb 2024 | 00:53:26 | |
This week, Sara Hughes-Zabawa LCSW, CDWF joins me to talk about advocating for yourself in a medical setting. Sara is a therapist, licensed clinical social worker, Certified Daring Way™ facilitator, yoga instructor, & wellness coach. She’s passionate about helping clients thrive as they enhance the quality of their lives through fostering improved awareness, insight, skill-building, and quality education and resources. She also has first-hand experience with self-advocating in medical settings. Health issues leave us vulnerable. We're so used to deferring to an authority figure that rather than asking the hard questions, we often stay silent. Advocating for ourselves can be challenging but it's so beneficial to learn how. We have a right to be treated with integrity. If you need guidance and support, look for a patient advocate. Can’t wait for you to listen. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 55 - How to Remodel a Relationship | 21 Feb 2024 | 00:36:40 | |
This episode is all about relationships. As humans, we’re wired for connection and meant to have a variety of dynamics in our lives. Friendship, intimacy, and pleasure are necessary in life, as well as our independence. Life is the balance of independence vs. interdependence. In this episode I offer tools to help assess if you want to keep/continue to invest in the relationships in your life. This is your opportunity to consider your own needs first. Once you’ve assessed your relationship goals with yourself and others, you can move forward with ease and comfort. I can't wait for you to listen. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 54 - Grief is Part of the Process | 14 Feb 2024 | 00:28:39 | |
Grief plays a big part in the journey to stopping people pleasing and perfectionating. It's the death or the changing of a former life- a former way of seeing the world, a former way that we used to relate to each other in relationships, a former way that we used to be rewarded and recognized. It comes up a lot in my group coaching program, Stop People Pleasing, and in my work with individual clients. As we change for the better, we lose parts of our past, sometimes including relationships. We create new boundaries and ways to function which don't always align with the dynamics in our life. We should never have to hide or pretend to stay in relationships. If you’re experiencing some grief during this process, I hope this episode is helpful for you. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 53 - Imposter Syndrome with Kori Linn | 07 Feb 2024 | 01:01:06 | |
In this episode, Kori Linn and I discuss Imposter Syndrome. Kori is a life and career coach as well as the host of the Satisfied AF podcast. She helps clients, listeners, and social media followers create more satisfaction & delight in every area of their lives. Imposter syndrome points the finger at individuals and burdens them with being “better” or improving. It burdens the marginalized individual with changing so that they can fit the system without criticizing the system. People socialized as girls and women are literally trained to have imposter syndrome. We're socialized to second guess ourselves, be polite, and not to brag. Unwinding imposter syndrome starts with asking, “What are your perspectives of yourself and what would happen if you treated yourself with confidence?” Can’t wait for you to listen. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 52 - Let's Talk about Infidelity with Andrea Giles | 31 Jan 2024 | 01:11:14 | |
This week I’m joined by Andrea Giles. She's a certified life coach and has a podcast called “Heal From Infidelity”. Andrea helps women sort out the confusion, grief, fear, doubt, and frustration that comes when infidelity (as well as other forms of betrayal) occurs in their marriage. Today we talk about our life stories and what got us here. We’re both on healing journeys and were part of similar religious worlds. Andrea shares her story of loss, dating, and parenting. Vulnerability and validation can make betrayal or being betrayed complex and tricky. People override their integrity for the feeling of belonging by stepping outside their marriage or partnership, and people pleasing contributes to the damage. We can work at this self-deception. Can’t wait for you to listen.
Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 51 - The Size of Our Wanting is the Size of Our Life | 24 Jan 2024 | 00:28:11 | |
Our wanting is essential and important. Women feel shame around wanting because we’ve been taught to not want things. “Don't be needy or selfish.” How many times have you heard or felt this? Do you choose not to hope or strive for your heart's desires because it's easier to not want than to be disappointed? Wanting is opening up to your curiosity on your path to self-discovery. You can want impossible things. You can have a big beautiful full thriving life doing what you want to do. I want you to love who you are; to have the experience of love and being in awe of ourselves is what I want for all of us. Can’t wait for you to listen. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 158 - When Speaking Up Changes Your Life with Jessica Carlson | 15 Apr 2026 | 00:46:34 | |
If you’ve been curious about what it looks like to say what you need to say in practice, today you’ll hear from someone who found her outside voice and is using it to create the life she wants. Jessica Carlson has spent years serving others—as a pastor’s wife, a mom, a teacher, and now supporting college students in getting the resources they need. Jessica and I first connected over our shared background in high-demand religion, and since we began working together, I’ve watched her life transform. She learned to speak up messily and imperfectly, and to support herself through hard conversations that once felt impossible. Jessica’s journey is a powerful example of how everything can shift when women use their voices, not just for themselves, but for the kind of change they want to see in the world. Here’s what we cover:
Jessica Carlson is a university career coach and former high school teacher. She lives in the midwest with her husband of 23 years and 2 children, both in college. She has a bachelor’s in English and secondary education and a master’s in education. She was raised in a fundamentalist high-demand religious context and then married a Christian pastor through which church experiences compounded the people pleasing she learned at an early age. At her core, she serves people but that service as a wife, mom, teacher, and community member caused her to lose herself. Jessica is a reflective thinker and someone who cares deeply about connection and meaning but has only recently realized that her voice matters and that it is powerful and she can impact systems. She is especially drawn to conversations about how we unlearn the pressure to be everything for everyone, and what it looks like to choose ourselves, sometimes for the first time. Find Jessica here: Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 50 - The Power of a Consult with Laura Sully | 17 Jan 2024 | 00:22:18 | |
For this episode, Laura Sully joins me to share her experience having a consult with me. Booking a consult with me is the best way to start your journey with stopping people pleasing. When you start working with me, I’ll give you tools that are immediately useful in your life. Then we’ll get into processing emotions and dive deeper into the roots of people pleasing in your life. After working with me, you’ll see yourself in a completely new light and will be able to move through your days confidently. Your authentic self will start to show up everywhere, and your relationships will feel safe and connected. It all starts with booking a consult. Don’t forget to check out my 24-week Stop People Pleasing Program which is open for enrollment through the 26th of January. You can find more info on my Instagram. Find Laura's podcast here: https://open.spotify.com/show/5fJOJm6EXYD17FdDv24XLz?si=MM5nd_GCSq2C4EbaURQ6Ow Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 49 - What If 2024 is the Year You Stop People Pleasing? | 10 Jan 2024 | 00:39:29 | |
What if 2024 is the year you stop people pleasing? What if you started to create a world around you where you feel respected by yourself and others? The universality of our preprogramming aka good girl programming silently shapes us. We can learn to overcome the discomfort, and gain the respect we desire from ourselves and others. It’s possible to belong, feel loved, and feel respected by others and ourselves. This is your year and I’m here for you. Can’t wait for you to listen. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 48 - Food and People Pleasing with Elizabeth Sherman | 03 Jan 2024 | 00:55:35 | |
Elizabeth Sherman joins me this week to discuss midlife and the changes women experience on different levels. Humans socialized as women experience emotional, physical, and mental changes as they get older. Health should be the overall goal but our society's ways of thinking mess that up. Diet culture and the patriarchy are such negative influences. Food and emotions co-relate - we have to learn to listen to ourselves. Have the snack you want, then unpack why you wanted it and are leaning into certain comfort behaviors. Are you paying attention to you, or are you too busy worrying about others' thoughts, feelings, or reactions rather than being present with yourself? Increasing awareness and loving yourself can improve all aspects of your life. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 47 - People Pleasing and Parenting with Andee Martineau, Part 2 | 27 Dec 2023 | 00:34:10 | |
Andee Martineau and I continue our conversation this week about people pleasing and parenting. Tolerating failures and disappointments with your children can be challenging but it is possible to deal with. The need to fix, save, and/or rescue can be consuming. As a parent, you have to be true to yourself and respect yourself first while also respecting and loving others. Stopping the patterns and the cycles of people pleasing is possible with awareness. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 46 - People Pleasing and Parenting with Andee Martineau, Part 1 | 20 Dec 2023 | 00:35:46 | |
Andee Martineau and I have a long history together. She introduced me to coaching. She has 6 kids and I have 5. We home-schooled our kids together and have a common religious background. She’s a true friend who’s been there for me and is along for the ride. Parenting is a hard job and learning how to stay healthy, balance, and manage everything life throws at us is a lifelong process. We can develop the skills to regulate our nervous system, handle what life throws at us, and stop people pleasing while parenting, as well as creating future people pleasers. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 45 - How Claiming Authority Changed Everything for Me: A Conversation with Kara Loewentheil | 13 Dec 2023 | 00:50:25 | |
My mentor, teacher, friend, and colleague joined me to talk about how claiming authority changed everything for us. Kara Loewentheil, J.D., is a Master certified coach, host of the top-rated podcast UnF*ck Your Brain, and creator of The Clutch, a feminist monthly coaching program that has helped tens of thousands of women across the world liberate themselves from the inside out. Women are conditioned to believe power and authority are negative. We notice power and authority if it’s being used against us or being used to do harm, but it can be used to do good as well. Women are socialized from the beginning to believe that power and authority are not for us. We’re here to tell you that it is possible to claim your authority. It takes breaking down the walls society built around us and knowing we have the power to live our full truth. Can’t wait for you to listen. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 44 - My Favorite Sentences | 06 Dec 2023 | 00:25:21 | |
In this episode, I discuss how to navigate uncomfortable situations this holiday season. Unwinding the way we operate out of people pleasing and perfectionating is especially tricky during the holidays. Holidays kick up a lot of difficult emotions and situations. The way to get through this season is to honor your own desires, which starts with listening to yourself. Then, you can have the conversations needed to set new expectations. Expressing your own wants and needs is hard because we want to appease others and not create discomfort. Have a listen and let me help you hold space for yourself this holiday season. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 43 - How to Create Secure Attachment in Relationships | 29 Nov 2023 | 00:31:57 | |
We are programmed to constantly worry about whether we are safe and loved. This comes from attachment styles we develop early in life. It can be helpful to identify your attachment styles because you can have a different style with different people in your life. In this episode, I’ll give you an overview of attachment styles so that you can think about what yours might be. Our attachment style can change- it's not a fixed verdict. We can do the work to heal the parts of us that limit our comfort in relationships, especially your relationship with yourself. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 42 - How to Make Sense Of Your Chronic Pain with Deb Malkin | 22 Nov 2023 | 00:46:46 | |
In this episode, Deb and I talk about repressed emotions and how they relate to physical pain. Deb Malkin is a feminist mind/body coach, specializing in using the tools of neuro + bioplasticity and consciously curious hypno-coaching to help people unlearn pain and emotional stress symptoms. As a queer, fat, radically unapologetic human with their own unique mind and body, Deb joyfully works with everyone. They bring an awareness of how the intersections of social conditioning, family narratives, and biopsychosocial determinants of health (racism, sexism, stigma...) impact our felt sense of wellness/wholeness/self-worth + love. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 41 - Synthetic Gratitude: Why It Sucks and What To Do About It | 15 Nov 2023 | 00:26:28 | |
“Just be grateful for what you have.” How many of you have heard this before? This is synthetic gratitude, which is a form of gratitude that is expected of women to provide and perform- to show we are staying in our place. I think understanding how synthetic gratitude works will be really helpful. In this episode, I’ve broken down 4 things that I've noticed due to synthetic gratitude and how to change it for your betterment. Can’t wait for you to listen! Find Sara here: | |||
| Find Your Outside Voice Part 6 - Your Outside Voice Is Waiting | 08 Apr 2026 | 00:09:07 | |
Save your spot for my upcoming workshop HERE! How to Find Your Outside Voice is a miniseries leading up to my free workshop, Say What You Need to Say. This series is driven by my deep belief that when women learn how to speak up in ways that feel safe and doable, it can change everything. In this episode, we’re talking about the life of freedom, confidence, and empowerment that is waiting for you on the other side of developing this skill. Register for Say What You Need to Say, a free one-hour workshop for women who are ready to finally ask for what they want and need in their relationships.
Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 40 - How To Disappoint Someone and Not Die Of Guilt and Shame | 08 Nov 2023 | 00:37:03 | |
This episode is out just in time for the holidays, giving you a chance to wrap up the year with a little extra kindness for yourself. In this episode, I'll reveal seven life-changing steps. These steps might sound simple, but they're not necessarily easy to implement. It's worth keeping in mind that letting folks down is just part of life, and I'm here to help you deal with the worry and fear that can come with it. Uncomfortable feelings are something we all face from time to time, and the trick is to learn how to handle them while still showing ourselves some love along the way. Once you've given this episode a listen, I'd be thrilled to hear from you. Send me a DM and tell me how these steps played out for you. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 39 - Midlife Magic with Jen Berlingo | 01 Nov 2023 | 00:50:32 | |
I have an extraordinary guest this week! Jen Berlingo, MA, LPC, ATR (she/her) is a midlife coach, a licensed professional counselor, a nationally registered art therapist, and a master-level Reiki practitioner. She wrote a book called Midlife Emergence, which reached #1 in several Amazon categories. She is also a visual artist and created the painting on the cover of her book. Jen is a dynamic being who assists in helping others to hone in on their own desires and live their truth. In this episode, Jen and I go into the challenges that happen during midlife and how to better manage them. Find Sara here: | |||
| Episode 38 - Why are the Holidays so Hard? | 25 Oct 2023 | 00:29:28 | |
Let's talk about holidays and expectations. We want to make special memories for our loved ones but often put our own needs to the side to please everyone else. Boundaries can be tougher with family because of our upbringing. From gifting to decorating then planning, shopping, and cooking… the list goes on. I’m stressed out just talking about it! But there is a way to reduce that stress and make yourself genuinely happy while doing kind things for others. This episode is an emotional survival guide to the holidays and I’ll be discussing 4 steps you can take to make this time easier. Holiday happiness is possible for all- it just takes time, focus, and setting intentions beforehand. Can’t wait for you to listen. Find Sara here: | |||