Divorce can be a financial minefield, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Throughout September, we’ll be cutting through the confusion to help you take control of your financial future. Finances are often the hardest part of the divorce process for women. We’re often left feeling financially powerless—disempowered by a system that’s not built for us (more on that topic, in October). Here’s the truth: your path to financial independence is possible. This month, I’m laser-focused on breaking down the money issues women face in divorce. If you’ve had your head in the sand about your finances, that’s okay. The time for financial empowerment is now—without judgment, just clarity and strength.  Some of the topics we’ll be covering this month include:   Navigating financial challenges in divorce Clarity and control over what’s truly yours by understanding asset division Claiming your worth: spousal support and non-monetary contributions From Stay-at-Home to Financial Independence Strategizing your long-term financial future post-divorce And, so much more! Join us as we dive into empowering women through financial independence and support, before, during, and after divorce. Resources & Links: Private Coaching with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective The D-Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage Divorce Money Guide Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-288-womens-financial-empowerment-intro-to-the-series/ =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tracy Otsuka, host of the ADHD for Smart Ass Women Podcast, joins me for a conversation about how ADHD uniquely shows up in women. We dig into why it’s often overlooked or misunderstood because the symptoms don’t always match up with what you see in men. We break down the top three signs of ADHD, how hormonal changes play a role, and why embracing your strengths is way more effective than trying to "fix" your weaknesses. Tracy also opens up about the emotional toll ADHD can take and offers practical advice for supporting kids with ADHD. Tune in to learn how ADHD impacts women navigating divorce and get tips for handling it all with confidence and self-compassion. Featured topics: How to recognize ADHD symptoms and how to advocate for care and the right diagnosis (3:28) Understanding ADHD in women, including how it shows up and how hormonal shifts shape your experience (7:14) Supporting kids with ADHD and tackling co-parenting challenges with confidence (21:55) Managing ADHD through divorce from diagnosis to treatment (32:25) Learn more about Tracy Otsuka: Tracy Otsuka, JD, is a certified ADHD coach and the host of the ADHD for Smart Ass Women podcast. Over the past decade, she has empowered thousands of clients (from doctors and therapists to C-suite executives and entrepreneurs) to see their neurodivergence as a strength–not a weakness. Tracy leverages her analytical skills from being a lead counsel at the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission to identify the right questions to ask her clients so they can boost their productivity, improve their finances, save failing relationships and live happier lives. Tracy’s expertise and experience as an adult living with ADHD are regularly sought out by top tier media including Inc, Forbes, ADDitude magazine, and The Goal Digger Podcast. When she’s not sharing her thought leadership around ADHD on other platforms, she hosts her own podcast which ranks #1 in its category and has over 5 million downloads across 160 countries. She also moderates a Facebook group with nearly 100,000 members. A married mother of two, Tracy lives in Sonoma County outside of San Francisco. Her new book, ADHD for Smart Ass Women is due out in December 2023. Resources & Links: Private Coaching with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective ADHD Smarts for Women Via Character Strengths Survey Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-287-adhd-for-smart-ass-women-with-tracy-otsuka/ =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're diving into the importance of self-care throughout your divorce process. Practicing self-care at this juncture is essential for managing the emotional and physical challenges you're going through. Self-care builds emotional resilience, helping you maintain mental well-being and decision-making ability, while also reducing stress and supporting your physical health. In this episode, I share some effective strategies to help you prioritize your well-being. You’ll hear: How to set boundaries not just with others, but also in deciding how and when you'll focus on the divorce process The importance of establishing routines that help you stay present with yourself and your children Understand the value of leaning on support groups to navigate through this period The need to attend to your physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, and financial health Resources & Links: 7-Step Divorce Mindset Reset Bundle Private Coaching with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-278-the-7-step-divorce-mindset-reset-self-care/ =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

October 1st marked the beginning of domestic violence awareness month. On September 30th, I learned that a member of my Facebook community was murdered by her boyfriend, who then turned the gun on himself. There are 11 murder-suicides rooted in domestic violence per week in the United States, so I decided to focus this week’s episode on the epidemic of domestic violence and shed light on it with some of my thoughts on how we can attempt to move beyond this in our society. Unfortunately, when I am educating victims, it is already too late.  In this episode, I talk about spreading awareness about raising our children to express their pain and feelings in a safe way, what to do if a co-parent is exhibiting toxic behavior, and the importance of educating yourself on domestic violence and abusive patterns or behaviors.   Episode highlights: If you are in a toxic relationship where you feel unsafe, create a safety plan before you leave. 75% of domestic homicides occur when a person leaves an abusive relationship. I share precisely how to create a safety plan  The importance of healing and doing trauma work after getting out of an abusive relationship  Resources & Links: Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/solo-episode-one-of-our-members-was-murdered-last-week National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233 or TheHotline.org Non-violent parenting classesSafety plan outlineLeanne Oaten Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Annette Oltmans returns to the show this week for an important conversation about going to couples therapy with an abuser. We discuss what therapy with an abuser can look like, when it works, when it doesn’t work, and share strategies to protect yourself throughout.  Annette is one of the very few people whose abusive husband did change after going to therapy - separately and together. She also shares what her experience was like and offers insight into what is required to heal.  Annette’s personal experiences of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage and her extensive journey of recovery including comprehensive field research into the topics of Original Abuse and Double Abuse® ignited her passion for founding The M3ND Project in 2016. Show Highlights Signs to look out for during therapy that it's not working and/or that it’s dangerous to continue (9:24) Abuse victims need to experience therapeutic alignment that is on their side - that kind of support is not going to happen in couples therapy (13:20) The motivations and tactics of an abuser who agrees to go to couples therapy (31:03) If you are in a cycle of abuse, go to therapy, and nothing is changing - what do you do? (36:39) How to know therapy is working if you and your spouse decide to explore therapy separately (46:01) The victim should have a voice in the therapeutic process (47:55) It’s a long journey for an abuser to do the work to change - they won’t be changed within two months (51:55) A boundary without a consequence is just a complaint - the hard part is holding the boundary (54:57) Learn more about Annette Oltmans: Annette Oltmans is a philanthropist and passionate human rights advocate. Annette’s personal experiences of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage and her extensive journey of recovery including comprehensive field research into the topics of Original Abuse and Double Abuse® ignited her passion to founding The M3ND Project in 2016. While seeking the help of professionals and responders, she experienced Double Abuse® in the form of spiritual and institutional abuse. These harmful encounters compelled Annette in her relentless pursuit for solutions that involved interviews with hundreds of victims and survivors. She uncovered common threads that cause victims prolonged states of confusion as well as what ultimately led them towards healing. Her journey also involved interviews with hundreds of faith-based leaders and therapists which led her to discover that most are untrained and ill-equipped to identify and help victims of emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse. In working to prevent and remediate such harm, Annette developed protocoled models that are now being taught and implemented with therapists, churches and professional organizations across the United States. She consulted with esteemed experts in abuse, trauma, and healing to ensure the materials align with the highest professional standards. Annette also serves on the Board of Pepperdine University’s Boone Center for the Family and is a Board of Trustee member of Northrise University in Zambia. Her writing on these topics of abuse, domestic violence, and bullying has been published in the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), Teen Vogue, and numerous other publications. Annette is also a contributing author in the newly released book, "Created to Thrive: Cultivating Abuse-Free Safe Communities". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m often asked, “What does a healthy relationship even look like?” Vanessa Bennett, LMFT, author, holistic psychotherapist, and codependency expert, joins me for a conversation that addresses that question. Plus, we discuss her new book, which she co-authored with her partner, John Kim (AKA: The Angry Therapist), “It’s Not Me, It’s You: Break the Blame Cycle. Relationship Better.” The book covers the top ten issues couples struggle with and how they can work through them. We also discuss codependence versus interdependence, love languages, and more.  Vanessa’s therapeutic approach integrates years of study and practice in Depth, Buddhist, and Yoga Psychology. She co-hosts the Cheaper Than Therapy Podcast, leads soul-based retreats and workshops, and creates and facilitates curriculum for non-profit and corporate events and conferences. Show Highlights Halt the blame: codependency is universal and systemic (10:05) Interdependence: what it is and its role in relationships (12:21) Taking away the shame around our codependent ways of relating (15:34) Love languages are like Cliff’s Notes for our needs (23:01) Moving towards interdependence and healing unhealthy codependency (28:02) When you break the blame cycle and own your shit, shifts in your relationships will happen (33:48) Learn more about Vanessa: After over a decade of grinding in the New York City corporate world, Vanessa Bennett realized her work, her relationships, and honestly, her life felt…off. She didn’t see it at first, but her path was finding her — and the journey she started to help herself ended up being her path to helping others. Cue the montage of her moving across the country, having a few breakdowns, heartbreaks, setbacks, taking hundreds of hours of training and workshops in yoga, yoga therapy, nutrition, somatic therapy, and reading lots and lots of books. Oh yeah, all while becoming a licensed therapist. It turns out that this passion paired well with her unique background in telling stories through marketing and corporate strategy, a longtime practice of meditation and yoga, and the fact that she’s a New Yorker who cuts to the point.  Today, Vanessa lives in Los Angeles and puts all of this to work as an Author, Licensed Holistic Psychotherapist, clinical entrepreneur, and mental health content creator. She co-hosts the Cheaper Than Therapy Podcast, leads soul-based retreats and workshops, and creates and facilitates curricula for non-profit and corporate events and conferences. Resources & Links: Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/codependence-versus-interdependence-with-vanessa-bennett-lmft Grit and Grace Group Coaching is Open - Join us! Vanessa’s website Vanessa on Instagram Vanessa on TikTok TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I’ve been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You’re a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won’t destroy your kids You’re looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You’re willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you’re ready to ‘go there’ Are you ready to learn from one of the world’s top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y’ARE!!!JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Before we dive into this week’s show, I wanted to share that my group coaching experience, Grit & Grace, is open! If you are ready to create profound shifts to own your worth, your strength, and your power - Grit & Grace is for you. To learn more about the program or to sign up for a consultation visit KateAnthony.com/Coaching. Certified Family Law Specialist Monica Mazzei joins me to talk about why everyone should have a pre-marital agreement - yes, a prenup! Monica is passionate about what she does and has made it her mission to educate others about everything family law—including this topic.  During our conversation, we discuss the benefits of having a pre-marital agreement, why prenups are not just for high-net-worth individuals, and what happens if a spouse tries to fight the prenup during a divorce. If you don’t have assets or think you don’t need a prenup, but think you might get married again in the future, this episode is a must-listen. Show Highlights The family law system is outdated especially in the area of pre-marital agreements (6:53) Conversations about pre-marital agreements offer transparency and may lead to greater intimacy (10:00) Monica explains what information and details go into a prenup - it should be a clear roadmap of what is going to happen if you get divorced (11:51) How to start the conversation with a partner about creating a pre-marital agreement (22:08) Co-habitation and Nesting agreements: what are they and what should go into them (26:04) Why a pre-martial agreement is the most impactful one you can have, where you choose your own rules and destiny as a couple if things don’t work out (34:35) Learn more about Monica:Monica Mazzei is a Certified Family Law Specialist representing clients in the Bay Area, with a concentration in San Francisco and Silicon Valley, as well as Los Angeles. She represents high-net-worth clients throughout the divorce process and in mediation. Monica has been named a California Super Lawyer from 2015-2019 and has been recognized in the international Chambers High Net Worth 2017-2019 guide for Family/Matrimonial Law. Monica specializes in dissolution actions involving complicated valuation and financial matters, and complex community property and support issues, including international issues, and dissolutions involving hedge funds, private equity, venture capital, and privately held businesses. Monica takes a modern approach to the practice of family law – addressing various needs of her clients related and unrelated to their family law case. Monica has relationships with top professionals in the Bay Area such as forensic accountants, mental health professionals, real estate agents, financial advisors, and business valuation experts. She also works closely with estate planning attorneys to come up with creative solutions for her clients and ensure their agreements reflect their current objectives. Monica is a frequent lecturer and speaker on family law matters and has been interviewed by Forbes, The Wall Street Journal, and Bloomberg.  Resources & Links: Information and links may also be found at:  https://kateanthony.com/podcast/why-everyone-should-have-a-pre-marital-agreement-with-monica-mazzei/ Grit and Grace Group Coaching is Open - Join us! Monica’s website Monica on LinkedIn TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINKProof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the child in your Family Law cases. JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we are talking about the legal aspect of high conflict divorce. When it comes to divorce, what most talk about from a legal sense isn’t applicable to those navigating a divorce with an abuser or high-conflict person. That’s why I asked my good friend, Susan Guthrie, Esq., to come back to the show and share what she knows about legal issues surrounding high-conflict situations.  Divorce is hard, divorce with a high conflict person is a completely different ball game. Listen to this episode to hear how to maneuver the legal system when divorcing an abusive or high-conflict spouse.  Show Highlights The tools do not exist in the legal system to change the behavior of a high-conflict person, but there are resources available that can help you protect yourself (6:09) High conflict people are unmanageable (11:37) Susan answers, “Can you mediate with someone who is actively lying and/or hiding assets?” (14:28) Why Susan says a consulting attorney is a necessity for the mediation process (19:01) When you are mediating or litigating with a high-conflict person, you move in small, purposeful steps (23:35) How to cope when an ex-spouse backs out of mediation at the last minute. Plus, what you can do from a legal perspective (33:48) Learn more about Susan: Susan Guthrie, nationally recognized as one of the Top Family Law Attorneys and Mediators in the country, has been helping individuals and families navigate separation and divorce for more than 30 years. Susan provides online divorce and legal coaching services to select clients around the world. As a leading dispute resolution professional, Susan is honored to serve on the Executive Council of the American Bar Association’s (ABA) Section of Dispute Resolution as the Budget Officer and to be a Co-Chair of the Advanced Mediation Institute. In 2021 Susan launched her fresh and inspiring podcast, The Divorce & Beyond Podcast with Susan Guthrie, Esq. which debuted on iTunes “Top Podcasts” List for self-help podcasts and which is one of the Top 1.5 % of All Podcasts worldwide! Divorce & Beyond is focused on pulling back the curtain on the mysteries of the divorce process and bringing tips and resources to help people to thrive and shine in their new future beyond divorce. Susan has been featured in and on media outlets such as CNBC, Market Watch, News Nation, Forbes, the ABA’s Just Resolutions Magazine, Thrive Global, Medium, and many more. She is licensed to practice law in the States of California and Connecticut as well as before the Supreme Court of the United States. Resources & Links: Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/high-conflict-legal-qa-with-susan-guthrie-esq Grit and Grace Group Coaching starts on September 15th - Join us! Mosten Guthrie Academy BIFF: Quick Responses to High-Conflict PeopleDSG Abuse Mini-Series: How to Communicate with a High-Conflict Co-Parent with Bill Eddy Get Ready to BIFF Your High Conflict Ex with Bill Eddy on Divorce & Beyond  The Incredible Tale of One Mom’s Successful 10-Year Battle to Be Free of a Narcissist with Tina Swithin on Divorce & Beyond TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM  An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you’ll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When women join book clubs, often, it’s not about books. It’s about being with one another, building each other up, and gaining a sense of comfort with each other. Women need community, it’s part of who we are. That’s why, this week, I continue the conversation about community and Grit & Grace, a coaching experience for women contemplating, going through, or recovering from divorce.  In this episode, I share openly and passionately why I created the Grit & Grace program, talk about some of the work we’ll do together including techniques for healing and grief recovery, the nuts and bolts of divorce, and share how you can join us!  Yes, you can do this work individually and make big changes. Or we can come together to make a seismic shift in our own lives and change the world while we're doing it. Plus, we heal exponentially when we do it together. Resources & Links: Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/solo-episode-grit--grace/ Join my new coaching program Grit & Grace! Why Women Need a Tribe By Tanja Taljaard and Azriel Re'ShelThe Science of Stuck with Tina SwithinDon’t Use These Terms! Words and Phrases to Avoid When Getting Divorced with Christina McGhee JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Britt Frank is the author of The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward. Many of my listeners are stuck on the idea of whether they should stay or go, or stuck in trauma and fear. That’s why I invited Britt to the show to talk about the small steps we can take to become unstuck and move forward with dignity.   Britt is a trauma specialist and psychotherapist. Her work focuses on empowering people to understand the mechanisms of our brains and bodies so we can break through procrastination and find our way home to ourselves. This conversation is amazing, I hope you enjoy it!  Show Highlights The fastest way to get out of being stuck is to take small steps (5:08) How to define the ‘first step’ to help you figure out your plan for getting unstuck (7:53) Dissociation is a self-protection mechanism - there’sa reason you’re not doing the thing you want to do: you’re experiencing the freeze response to trauma (13:11) Britt explains why we can’t think ourselves forward (16:04) We explore the steps to help you get unstuck including: Validating what’s happening and determining the resources available to help right now (22:40) Why Britt says to stay away from positive and negative thinking and instead focus on accurate thinking (24:52) Your inner critic wants to help, but they are just really bad at it! (27:59) Leaving a relationship requires detox and withdrawal (34:23) Self-sabotage is a way to self-protect - don’t blame yourself for self-sabotaging. Recognize it’s happening and then follow the steps to move through being stuck (39:41) Self-mothering is one the most powerful ways of breaking trauma bonds (44:24) Learn more about Britt Frank: Britt Frank, MSW, LSCSW, SEP is a clinician, educator, and trauma specialist. She speaks and writes widely about the mental health myths that keep us stuck and stressed. Britt received her BA from Duke University and her MSW from the University of Kansas, where she later became an award-winning adjunct professor. She is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and Level 3 trained in the Internal Family Systems therapeutic model. Britt was a primary therapist at a drug and alcohol treatment center, an inpatient therapist at a children’s psychiatric hospital, and now owns a private practice. You can find Britt on Instagram @brittfrank or on her website www.scienceofstuck.com. Her debut book The Science of Stuck was released 3-22-22 by Penguin Random House. Resources & Links: Links and information may also be found at:  https://kateanthony.com/podcast/the-science-of-stuck-with-britt-frank/ Get on the list to be notified about Grit & Grace!Britt’s websiteBritt on Instagram Britt’s book Mother Hunger, Kelly McDaniel TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I’ve been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You’re a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won’t destroy your kids You’re looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You’re willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you’re ready to ‘go there’ Are you ready to learn from one of the world’s top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y’ARE!!!JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we are talking about life after divorce - specifically what it can look like and how it can feel. Sara Davison is my special guest. During our conversation, she shares her story of divorce and how she helps women move on from heartbreak to a life of happiness post-divorce.  Sara is best known as ‘The Divorce Coach’ and is an award-winning authority on break-ups, divorce, and life empowerment. Following the launch of Sara’s Breakup and Divorce Coach Practitioner Accreditation Programme in 2018, Sara has now founded The International Divorce Coach Centre Of Excellence which has a coaching community of 250 Divorce Coaches spanning 16 countries and five continents. She is a twice best-selling author, media commentator, and host of the #1 Heartbreak to Happiness Podcast.  Tune in to hear our empowering and uplifting conversation! Show Highlights How do you get back up on your feet and move forward when you are still wrapped up in the whole process of divorce? (7:50) Turning the adversity of your divorce into your strength and superpower (8:19) Sara shares her story of divorce and the processing the shock and trauma of finding her spouse was having an affair and wanted a divorce (14:41) How to move forward and take your power back - even in the midst of experiencing post-separation abuse (26:31) It takes one person or one generation to break toxicity or patterns of abuse - it is up to us to break it for our kids (38:35) Learn more about Sara Davison: Sara Davison, best known as ‘The Divorce Coach’, is an award-winning authority on break-ups, divorce, and life-empowerment. She’s the best-kept secret of society’s elite with a client list that spans actors, politicians, and sportsmen. A bestselling author, Sara’s empathetic and holistic coaching style empowers individuals to take back control and positively transform their lives. An NLP Master Practitioner, Sara combines 26 years’ coaching experience with her own personal experience of marriage breakdown to help clients cope with challenges including heartbreak, betrayal, conflict, confidence building, co-parenting, and being effective in the workplace during divorce and dating again. Coaching is tailored to suit a client’s lifestyle needs, with options ranging from private coaching at Sara’s clinic, home visits and online video courses to the immersive group environment on her highly acclaimed Breakup Recovery Retreats. Following the success of Sara’s Breakup & Divorce Coach Practitioner Accreditation Programme, Sara founded the International Divorce Coach Centre of Excellence in 2021 and has now created a global coaching community of over 200 Divorce Coaches spanning 14 countries and six continents. The programme is designed to help those interested in becoming a coach as well as existing coaches who want to take their business to the next level. Sara launched Heartbreak To Happiness, an empowering podcast designed to help men and women struggling with the pain of relationship breakdown. The podcast hit New and Noteworthy six times in the first six weeks post launch and hit #1 spot in Ireland and #2 in the UK charts and #24 in USA. Recent guests have included Jason Vale, Bill Walsh, Bernardo Moya and Nicole Jacobs. Sara has firmly cemented her reputation as the go-to expert on domestic abuse, joining forces with The Dash Charity as their patron and recently launched the UK’s first ever dedicated retreat ‘How to divorce an abusive partner and recover from a toxic relationship’, aimed at empowering those feeling helpless and overwhelmed with the critical tools they need to break free, so they can start their healing journey and redesign their lives. At the government level, Sara consults on marriage and divorce legislation, most recently the divorce law reform. Sara is also a regular media commentator and motivational speaker, and she recently starred as the expert in Heartbreak Hotel, a television show based around the concept of her Breakup Recovery Retreats.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we’re talking about marital finances, divorce, and how gaining clarity around your finances can help inform your decision about whether you should stay or go. Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan, founders of My Divorce Solution, join me to share some of the processes they utilize when working with clients to help them protect and secure their financial future in divorce. Karen and Catherine combine their legal and financial expertise to provide unparalleled financial clarity and divorce preparation – resulting in easier, faster, and less expensive divorces. Our hope is that through listening to this conversation you will have more power, more knowledge, and clarity about finances and divorce.  “Everybody is entitled to financial clarity.” Catherine Shanahan “If you decide to stay after working through your marital finances, you will be a different partner going forward.” Karen Chellew Show Highlights My Divorce Solution: what it is and why Karen and Catherine created it (3:51) What to say if you are trying to get financial information from a bank or accountant who is refusing to give it without your soon-to-be-ex’s consent (10:06) Do you need a CFDA or resource such as My Divorce Solution if your finances are not high-net-worth? The short answer: Yes. (20:37) How working with a financial advisor or analyst can help inform your decision about whether or not you should get a divorce (27:31) If you are working with a financial analyst, you are not committing to a divorce. You are learning What can be the most difficult thing about working through your marital finances? (36:00) An important reminder to women about finances and worth: you are worth it! (43:30) Learn more about Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan: Karen Chellew, Legal Liaison: For over 30 years, Karen has worked in the legal field as a paralegal and business manager. During her career, she served as an affiliated member of the Pennsylvania Bar Association and as President-Elect of the ALA (Association of Legal Administrators). Karen now serves clients and the professional team in her role as legal liaison. She is also a certified QDRO Administrator, Founder and President of Sisters U Foundation, and an Auditor of East Rockhill Township. As the mom of three children and two granddaughters, Karen is extremely passionate about helping women in all that she does.  Catherine Shanahan, CDFA: After 25 years in the financial industry, having raised five children and endured her own experience with divorce, Catherine became a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) and trained mediator. A Professional Daily Money Manager (PDMM), Catherine is also a member of the Bucks County Collaborative Law Group, American Association of Daily Money Managers (AADMM) the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts, and the Association of Divorce Financial Planners (ADFP).  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, I have a solo episode for you! I am talking about community, specifically why it is important for women to be in a community with one another. My Facebook group has grown to over 10,000 members and on any given day you can see the magic that happens when women support one another. When you are surrounded by other women in similar situations it opens up space to share our experiences, struggles and wins. Ultimately, when women join together in a community we begin to own our collective power. In this episode I talk about:  The impact women in community have on men The work of victims is to get to a place of feeling strong enough and empowered enough to be able to walk away Our true power lies in our connection to other women Resources & Links:Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/solo-episode-the-power-of-community-grit-and-grace Get on the list to be notified about Grit & Grace! Why Women Need a Tribe, by Tanja Taljaard and Azriel Re'Shel Mothering Heights with Leonora Pitts Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits - to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life, with Gretchen Rubin THE M3ND PROJECTThe M3ND Project’s mission is to bring clarity and validation to victims and survivors and to provide tools and resources for those who are responding to abuse. Annette Oltmans founded The M3ND Project coming out of her own experience as a survivor of emotional abuse and double abuse and after years of researching academic materials and personally interviewing hundreds of abuse survivors, therapists, and faith leaders. M3ND does this by providing various educational resources and training courses. The M3ND Project has three courses available: One for Victims and Survivors, One for Responders and Advocates, and The 3rd for Therapists seeking CEUs. The M3ND Project’s Comprehensive Training Curriculum provides deep instruction on psychological abuse, double abuse, complex trauma, how to identify your own trauma and whether you are being abused, and the best protocols for responding to victims and those who cause harm. For course details and to register visit: https://kateanthony.com/mend JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Divorce is a lengthy, emotionally demanding, and taxing process, taking about a year on average. In this episode, I share why practicing patience and managing expectations can help you navigate the journey peacefully and easily.  You’ll also hear: The questions to ask your divorce attorney or mediator about specific procedures and waiting periods in your state  Why trusting the process and establishing routines can lead to a smoother experience  The crucial role of self-care in managing stress and emotional well-being  By being better equipped to navigate the divorce journey, you can adapt and maintain calm throughout the process.  Remember, patience doesn’t just happen; it comes from practicing self-care, staying informed, and managing your expectations. Resources & Links: 7-Step Divorce Mindset Reset Bundle Private Coaching with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-277-the-7-step-divorce-mindset-reset-practicing-patience/ =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Heidi Brocke joins me for a discussion about toxic relationships and healing from them. Heidi is a toxic relationship awareness and healing specialist. After 14 years in an extremely emotionally and narcissistically abusive relationship, she broke the chains and turned her past into her passion. Today it is her mission to provide hope, healing, and freedom to those whose lives have been affected by toxic relationships, emotional abuse, and narcissistic behaviors.  Show Highlights Heidi shares what she would say to women afraid to leave a partner for fear of alienation from their children (10:20) When we stay “for our kids,” we think we are mitigating toxic behavior but in reality, we are condoning it (12:14) What the word toxic means in toxic relationships (15:42) The importance of shifting the focus on the diagnosis of your partner to focusing on you and what feels good or right for you (29:40) The only thing consistent about a toxic person is that they are inconsistent (34:40) Learn more about Dr. Heidi Brocke: Dr. Heidi Brocke is a Toxic Relationship Awareness & Healing Specialist. After spending 14 years in an extremely emotionally and narcissistically abusive relationship she broke the chains and turned her past into her passion; She left her 24 years career in healthcare to use her life experience and education to be the person she needed when she herself was trapped in the darkness of an unhealthy relationship to provide hope, healing, and freedom to those whose lives have been affected by toxic relationships, emotional abuse, and narcissistic behaviors.  Through education, she presents the understanding needed to empower others to walk through fear and into their freedom.  Today she has helped hundreds rid and heal their toxic relationships and hosts the popular podcast, It’s not Normal, It’s Toxic-rid your life of toxic people - with over a million listens worldwide.  She’s an international keynote speaker, recipient of Empowering Women in Business of The Year award by Inspiring Lives Magazine, and has been featured in both Forbes and Time Magazines for the dedication given to her clients and for her work in the toxic relationship area.  Resources & Links: Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/from-toxic-to-free-with-heidi-brocke/ Heidi’s websiteHeidi on Facebook Heidi on LinkedIn Heidi on Instagram Heidi’s Freedom Me Course   The TPA   It’s Not Normal, It’s Toxic with Dr, Heidi Brocke The Divorce and Beyond Podcast with Susan Guthrie, Esq. TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I’ve been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You’re a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won’t destroy your kids You’re looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You’re willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you’re ready to ‘go there’ Are you ready to learn from one of the world’s top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y’ARE!!!JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are talking about a complex and insidious topic this week: coercive control. Dr. Christine Cocchiola, a Coercive Control Advocate, Educator, Researcher, and Survivor, shares her incredible wisdom with us. She explains how coercive control is the foundation of most domestic abuse and is often non-physical with offenders using “power over” to abuse their victims psychologically, legally, financially, and sexually.  Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola is a Board Member of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, has supported policy codifying coercive control, and has a small private practice, primarily serving victims and survivors of coercive control. She is also the creator of the Protective Parenting Program, supporting protective mothers on their journey to healing their children.  Show Highlights What is coercive control? Why Depp v Heard is a case study in coercive control (3:50) When coercive controllers begin to lose control, the number one thing they seek is revenge (8:50) The global impact of high-profile cases that revolve around coercive control (13:22) DARVO: an acronym used to describe a common strategy of abusers (24:16) How coercive controllers gain and retain control - what are their patterns? (28:14) The goal of the abuser is to wear away at your autonomy (29:43) How to avoid coercive control and other abusive situations or leave an abusive relationship (44:35) The legislation and criminalization of coercive control (49:45) Learn more about Dr. Cocchiola: Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW is a Coercive Control Advocate, Educator, Researcher & Survivor. Coercive Control, the foundation of most domestic abuse, is often non-physical with offenders using “power over” to abuse their victims psychologically, legally, financially, and sexually and where children are involved, use of the children as pawns. She is a college professor teaching social work at CT Community College for the last 20 years and also an adjunct instructor at NYU. Her expertise is in the areas of intimate partner violence, trauma, and child abuse, developing and presenting workshops on these topics both nationally and internationally. Christine, a Board Member of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, has supported policy codifying coercive control and has a small private practice, primarily serving victims and survivors of coercive control. She is the creator of the Protective Parenting Program, supporting protective mothers on their journey of healing their children. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we are talking about the differences between narcissists, abusers, and sociopaths and why (or why not) those differences even matter. I received so much positive feedback when Annette Oltmans was on the show last time that I invited her back to explore this topic with me.   Annette’s personal experiences of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage and her extensive journey of recovery including comprehensive field research into the topics of Original Abuse and Double Abuse® ignited her passion for founding The M3ND Project in 2016. Show Highlights What is the difference between narcissists, abusers, and sociopaths and does it matter? (6:28) Why it is important to look at the way someone makes you feel as opposed to focusing on a partner’s diagnosis or label (9:02) The maze of confusion and what it is like to be in a conversation with an abuser (13:53) All narcissists are abusers but not all abusers are narcissists (14:13) Annette shares the Pillars of Abuse (26:08) How to know when an abusive partner is truly working to change their behaviors. For one: they will have setbacks but still show longstanding evidence of change (40:00) Communication problems are not the core issue of abusive relationships (46:39) Learn more about Annette Oltmans: Annette Oltmans is a philanthropist and passionate human rights advocate. Annette’s personal experiences of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage and her extensive journey of recovery including comprehensive field research into the topics of Original Abuse and Double Abuse® ignited her passion to founding The M3ND Project in 2016. While seeking the help of professionals and responders, she experienced Double Abuse® in the form of spiritual and institutional abuse. These harmful encounters compelled Annette in her relentless pursuit for solutions that involved interviews with hundreds of victims and survivors. She uncovered common threads that cause victims prolonged states of confusion as well as what ultimately led them towards healing. Her journey also involved interviews with hundreds of faith-based leaders and therapists which led her to discover that most are untrained and ill-equipped to identify and help victims of emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse. In working to prevent and remediate such harm, Annette developed protocoled models that are now being taught and implemented with therapists, churches and professional organizations across the United States. She consulted with esteemed experts in abuse, trauma, and healing to ensure the materials align with the highest professional standards. Annette also serves on the Board of Pepperdine University’s Boone Center for the Family and is a Board of Trustee member of Northrise University in Zambia. Her writing on these topics of abuse, domestic violence, and bullying has been published in the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), Teen Vogue, and numerous other publications. Annette is also a contributing author in the newly released book, "Created to Thrive: Cultivating Abuse-Free Safe Communities".  Resources & Links: Information and links can also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/abuser-narcissist-sociopath-with-annette-oltmans/ Get on the list to be notified about Group Coaching!The M3nd Project WebsiteTools and Resources from The M3ND ProjectThe M3ND Project on FacebookThe M3ND Project on Instagram The M3nd Project on YouTubeThe M3nd Project on Twitter The Maze of Confusion TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM  An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you’ll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lena Derhally is back on the show! Last time we talked about social media narcissism and other harmful effects of using social media. This time she joins me to talk about Chris Watts, who was the topic of her book My Daddy is a Hero: How Chris Watts Went from Family Man to Family Killer.   On August 13, 2018, Chris Watts murdered his pregnant wife Shanann and two young daughters. Why is this story important for all to hear and especially those listening to this podcast? It’s important because it’s a case study of narcissism and the warning signs we all might miss. In Lena’s book (and this episode) Lena pieces together the crime, the events leading up to it, and her beliefs about the “why.” Lena Derhally is a Washington DC-based licensed and Imago certified psychotherapist in private practice. She is the author of the Amazon True Crime and Criminology bestseller, My Daddy is a Hero: How Chris Watts Went from Family Man to Family Killer, and the forthcoming pop psychology book, The Facebook Narcissist: How to Identify and Protect Yourself and Your Loved Ones from Social Media Narcissism. Show Highlights What led to Chris’s confession of murdering his wife and children (5:59) Psychopaths don’t have the same empathy or attachments as others, but they can learn to mimic the emotions and experiences of others around them (15:05) How to use this story as a way to protect yourself or spot red flags (24:14) The shame and blame of victims of intimate partner violence (43:21) Once a partner starts devaluing you, it is time to question what you want/don’t want from your relationship (54:22) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Christina McGhee is back on the show! She joins me to talk about the language we use around divorce, co-parenting, and raising our children. The language we use can be damaging to our children, so this is such an important conversation to have and I hope you get a lot out of listening to it. In fact, even as a professional in this space, I have recently learned how to shift my language about divorce topics. Words matter and the way we convey our ideas do too. Christina McGhee, MSW is an internationally recognized divorce parenting expert, speaker, and author. Whether she is speaking, coaching, or writing her goal is to disrupt the status quo, and change divorce for the better by helping families redefine themselves in meaningful ways. Show Highlights The way we talk about co-parenting with children by using the term “visitation” and why it’s a terrible term to use (5:53) When parents focus on what’s “fair” for them, children internalize that their actions must be “fair” in order to make their parents feel ok (12:05) What is wrong with the word custody, how it affects children, and why parenting time is a better term to use (21:10) When we talk about equitable time-sharing arrangements, we are talking about equal responsibility, plus Christina talks about the off-duty and on-duty parenting model (26:57) Why treating time with children as a commodity (50/50, 60/40, etc.) is damaging (39:59) What is wrong with referring to your co-parent as your ex (51:53) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Allison Raskin’s book Overthinking About You is the first of its kind that talks about dating and mental health. This week, Allison joins me for a conversation about talking to a potential partner about mental health topics, why caring for your mental health when dating is important, and some tactical strategies to help you be better prepared to tackle dating and relationships with confidence. Allison is a comedian, a mental health advocate and the host of the popular "Just Between Us" podcast, and co-creator of a YouTube channel by the same name. Join us for this insightful and important conversation.  Show Highlights Why talking about dating and mental health is not commonplace (and why it should be) (2:14) How to open up about mental health with a potential partner (9:45) Creating a safe space for dating and caring for your mental health (12:35) Allison stresses the importance of self-soothing techniques before you start dating (18:16) Online dating tips and strategies (40:25) Learn more about Allison Raskin: Allison Raskin has written and developed multiple TV shows and created the original scripted podcast Gossip. A vocal mental health advocate, Allison also runs the mental health-focused Instagram account @emotionalsupportlady. She knows the challenges of navigating romantic relationships with mental health issues firsthand. She was diagnosed with OCD at 4 years old and also lives with a general anxiety disorder.   Resources & Links:Information and links can also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/overthinking-about-you-with-allison-raskin/ Allison’s websiteAllison’s bookAllison on Instagram Emotional Support Lady on Instagram Just Between Us podcast TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM  An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you’ll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered what it’s like being a child of divorced parents? This week, Bella Duncan of a Kid With Two Homes joins me to share her experience as a child of divorce. She shares her experiences of divorce, separation, and family conflict.  Bella is determined to make a change for the better. She has gone between two homes since her parents divorced when she was three years old. Growing up in two homes, she experienced firsthand many of the issues children of divorce face as a young adults. I learned a lot from my conversation with Bella. She is so smart and insightful at such a young age. She is truly remarkable.  Show Highlights Why Bella stresses the importance of communication skills between kids and their divorced parents (8:35) What high conflict means to a child of divorce and how it feels to be the child in the middle (12:47) “Being in the middle makes you feel like you are responsible for your parents’ conflict.” (15:52) Accepting your parents' divorce is an ongoing process and something you have to consistently work on, even as a young adult (22:47) A reminder that your child’s perspective about your divorce can be vastly different from your own (25:09) Why a child should never feel responsible or guilty about spending quality time with their parents (32:03) How parents can do better for children of divorce (39:18) Learn more about Bella Duncan: Bella is an empowered kid of divorce who is determined to make change for the better. Currently, at 23, Bella has recently completed a Bachelor of Law and a Bachelor of Psychology. Bella has gone between two homes since her parents divorced at age three. Growing up in two homes, she experienced firsthand many of the issues children of divorce face. As a young adult, she was inspired to provide a helpful resource to help kids of divorce feel seen, heard, and less alone. Resources & Links: Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/a-kid-with-two-homes-with-bella-duncan/ Submit your questions for a future Q&A episode!A Kid with Two Homes Bella’s Packing Instagram video postBella on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Leanne Oaten is back on the podcast! Listeners loved her previous episode so much that I invited her back to talk about what happens after you get out of an abusive relationship. We discuss the post-separation aftermath, which many women are not prepared for. Once all the dust settles and the reality sets in, questions and emotions bubble to the surface. We explore all the complexities of what happens when you re-awaken to life after domestic abuse.  Leanne is a former counselor who helps women decide whether to stay or leave their toxic, abusive, narcissistic relationship without wasting time going to therapy. Show Highlights Why women begin to question the abuse that transpired after they get out (4:11) Using apps is a good solution for co-parenting with an abusive ex (9:57) The emotional aspect of what lies on the other side once you’ve separated (14:10) How to prepare for the what happens to you emotionally and physically after leaving an abuser (19:19) Setting boundaries and understanding where to draw the line - also realize you aren’t going to do it perfectly (24:44) You can be friendly with a co-parent but you don’t have to be friends (28:37) Learn more about Leanne Oaten Leanne Oaten is a former counselor with over 9 years of experience coaching and supporting clients. After working in the counseling field in private practice for several years, she decided to go virtual with her business to serve women all over the world. She educates and guides women who are experiencing narcissistic abuse to end the cycle and get clarity on whether to stay or leave. Leanne Oaten founded Awakening Women Support in 2018 to begin sharing her unique and no bullsh*t perspectives on the patterns of narcissistic abuse and posts daily over on Instagram at instagram.com/awakeningwomensupport. Resources & Links: Information and links can also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/what-happens-after-you-leave-your-abusive-marriage-with-leanne-oaten/ Submit your questions for a future Q&A episode!Leanne’s website How to Know Whether to Stay or Leave Your Toxic Relationship Lundy Bancroft episode Peaceful Parent App TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I’ve been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You’re a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won’t destroy your kids You’re looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You’re willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you’re ready to ‘go there’ Are you ready to learn from one of the world’s top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y’ARE!!!JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am incredibly honored to have Lundy Bancroft on the show with me to talk about what life is like after domestic abuse, post-separation abuse, and healing from trauma. Lundy Bancroft is the author of five books in the field, including the national prize-winner The Batterer as Parent, Why Does He Do That?, When Dad Hurts Mom, Daily Wisdom and Should I Stay Or Should I Go? He has worked with over a thousand abusers directly as an intervention counselor, and has served as clinical supervisor on another thousand cases Show Highlights Acknowledging that you do have a right to be heard about the injustice that was done. But do it in a way that is not hurting you (8:20) What to do when you get in a custody dispute with your abuser, why you need an attorney who understands divorcing an abuser, as well as, what to know if you represent yourself (10:51) The myth that a man can abuse a child’s mother and still be a great dad. It’s impossible. The single best predictor of how a man will treat their children is how they treat their child’s mother (28:34) How a woman can increase her chance of a favorable divorce outcome (34:05) Social change and what is really needed to reform the family court system (45:14) How the fathers' rights movement is an abusers’ movement and what we can do in the face of it (50:37) Learn more about Lundy Bancroft: Lundy Bancroft is the author of five books in the field, including the national prize-winner The Batterer as Parent, Why Does He Do That?, When Dad Hurts Mom, Daily Wisdom, and Should I Stay Or Should I Go? He has worked with over a thousand abusers directly as an intervention counselor and has served as a clinical supervisor on another thousand cases. He has also served extensively as a custody evaluator, child abuse investigator, and expert witness in domestic violence and child abuse cases. Lundy appears across the United States as a presenter for judges and other court personnel, child protective workers, therapists, law enforcement officials, and other audiences. Resources & Links: Links and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/lundy-bancroft Last chance to Book a Sanity Saver Session in June!Lundy’s website  Lundy’s books Mothers on the Rise TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM  An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you’ll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are talking today about social media narcissism and other harmful effects of using social media; like cyberbullying and the growth of the mental health crisis among today’s youth. My guest, Lena Derhally, helps us to better understand these topics during our conversation and in her newest book, The Facebook Narcissist: How to Identify and Protect Yourself and Your Loved Ones from Social Media Narcissism. Not only do we discuss social media, but we also delve into narcissism and how it shows up and is exacerbated by social media.    This episode is not a call to arms to deactivate your social media accounts. Instead, it is a reminder to be mindful of social media and its effects on all facets of our lives, as well as a reminder to learn how to protect ourselves and our kids from the negative effects we are seeing from social media today. Show Highlights Why is narcissism such a huge topic right now? (4:22) How some narcissists are exploitive in nature and what that actually means (10:24) The subtypes of narcissism: grandiose, vulnerable, communal, and collective (6:29) How social media affects narcissism and narcissistic behaviors (24:16) The addictive nature of social media, influencer culture, and the effects on mental health (33:37) How the narcissistic thread in social media is impacting our relationships (40:21) Social media, cyberbullying, and its role in the growing mental health crisis of children (51:41) Why Lena believes there needs to be more resources and attention on the effects of social media (52:12) How to be an empathetic digital citizen (58:07) Learn more about Lena Derhally: Lena Derhally is a Washington DC-based licensed and Imago certified psychotherapist in private practice. She is the author of the Amazon True Crime and Criminology bestseller, My Daddy is a Hero: How Chris Watts Went from Family Man to Family Killer, and the forthcoming pop psychology book, The Facebook Narcissist: How to Identify and Protect Yourself and Your Loved Ones from Social Media Narcissism. Her work and expertise have been featured in Oprah Magazine, SELF, Glamour, The Washington Post, A&E, Hollywood Life, The Huffington Post, Law and Crime, Tubi TV, and more. She was formerly a clinical instructor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the George Washington School of Medicine, where she mentored medical students, and she is on the advisory board of 1455 Literary Arts.  Resources & Links:Links and information can also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/the-facebook-narcissist-with-lena-derhally/ Book a Sanity Saver Session in May or June Lena on Instagram  Lena on Facebook (author page)  Lena's website How to Protect Yourself From Digital Abuse with Adam Dodge TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I’ve been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You’re a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won’t destroy your kids You’re looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You’re willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you’re ready to ‘go there’ Are you ready to learn from one of the world’s top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y’ARE!!!JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We continue our month-long series centered around my 7-Step Divorce Mindset Reset by discussing the creation of a vision statement for your divorce. This was something I did at the beginning of mediation with my ex-husband. A vision statement sets your intention for the divorce process. When things feel like they are going off the rails, you can return to your vision statement to stay grounded and centered on how you want the process to go. Whether you create a mutual or individual statement, it will serve as a helpful guiding principle for your divorce process. Resources & Links: 7-Step Divorce Mindset Reset Bundle Private Coaching with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective The 7-Step Divorce Mindset Reset: Intro Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-276-the-7-step-divorce-mindset-reset-your-vision-statement/ =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. —------------------------------------------------ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week I welcome to the show the anonymous woman behind the popular and informative Instagram account, Narcissist_Survivor. The purpose of the account and their work is to expose the truth about narcissists, which is also what we do in this episode. We discuss the complexities of being in a relationship with a narcissist, share red flags, and go deep on the topic of high-profile cases and narcissistic abuse.  Show Highlights Red flags to watch out for when it comes to narcissists and dating (6:21) The patriarchy’s effects on relationships and mental health in today’s world (8:52) Narcissists may use the court system to perpetuate financial or post-separation abuse (16:04) Examples of narcissistic abuse in high profile cases such as Gabby Petito and Johnny Depp/Amber Heard (21:00) Abuse is not an anger management problem (30:45) Learn more about Narcissist_Survivor: Narcissist Survivor is an outspoken expert, advocate, guest speaker, specialist and consultant on narcissism, narcissistic abuse, domestic violence, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and abuse recovery.  Narcissist Survivor began in 2013, typing the words "Am I crazy?" into the search engine, and seeing the word "Narcissist" for the very first time.  That began three years of voracious study on narcissism, NPD, Cluster B Personality Disorders, Adverse Childhood Experiences, trauma, Complex PTSD, child abuse and neglect, as well as formal Domestic Violence training, and continuing education on these important issues.  This in turn gave way to the creation of @narcissist_survivor on Instagram which now has over 183k followers in 2015. Find help, resources, information and support in your recovery from narcissistic abuse on Instagram @narcissist_survivor  Narcissistic Abuse Recovery phone sessions are offered within North America. Resources & Links: Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/the-truth-about-narcissistic-abuse-with-narcissist_survivor Narcissist_Survivor on Instagram Book a Sanity Saver Session in May or June TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM  An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you’ll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Matthew Fray, author of This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach To Saving Relationships, has been on my guest wishlist for a really long time. That is why I am truly delighted to share our conversation with you. Matt joins me to talk about how men can show up as better partners in relationships. I first learned about Matt when I read his now-viral blog post, “She Divorced Me Because I Left the Dishes Near the Sink.” It’s not just about dishes. It never truly is, now is it? Matt shares his experiences with writing that blog post, the lessons he has learned since his divorce, and offers insight on how men can become mindfully aware of their spouses' experiences, share in the division of labor in relationships, and more.  Show Highlights How his blog post aims to invite a conversation about what is allowed to matter (5:55) In relationships, there is a discrepancy between values, preferences, and things that affect one another (6:44) Marriage and the man card in cis-hetero gendered relationships (9:14) Matthew describes the invalidation triple threat: aka the ways in which we invalidate people when we disagree with them (17:14) Be mindful of the little things we are not paying attention to because they are often the root of relationship issues (23:41) We explore four key relationship skills including how to argue or disagree effectively (38:19) Learn more about Matthew Fray: Matthew Fray is the author of This Is How Your Marriage Ends A Hopeful Approach To Saving Relationships. With the humorous, entertaining, and counterintuitive approach of "The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F," and the practical insights of "The 5 Love Languages," "This Is How Your Marriage Ends" helps readers identify relationship-killing behavior patterns in their own lives - and offers solutions to break free from the cycles of dysfunction and destruction. Fray is a relationship coach and writer who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage and divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes he did. His writing has been featured in The New York Times, The Sunday Times, The Huffington Post, Babble, and many more. His blog Must Be This Tall To Ride has a dedicated following and has reached millions of readers. Resources & Links: Book a Sanity Saver Session in May or June Matthew's website Matthew's new book Matthew on Twitter Matthew on Facebook She Divorced Me Because I Left the Dishes by the Sink TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINKProof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the child in your Family Law cases. JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Digital abuse is becoming an increasingly large problem. In this episode, Adam Dodge joins me for a discussion about the ways in which current or former partners may be misusing the internet and tech to harm individuals in unhealthy and abusive relationships.  Adam is a licensed attorney whose work is characterized by his dedication to preventing and addressing the ways adults and children are harmed online and via their devices. He is the founder of EndTAB and is an internationally recognized digital safety expert who believes you do not have to be a tech expert to stay safe in the digital age. Together we discuss all things digital safety, autonomy, and abuse. Adam shines a light on unauthorized account access, digital gaslighting, and tracking devices. This episode is a reminder that you can prevent the violation of your digital safety, often more easily than you think. Online abuse is deeply traumatic and harmful. You deserve to be safe in your relationships, whether you are offline or online. Show Highlights How technology is used as a tactic in abuse (4:53) Unauthorized account access: personal autonomy includes consent to your accounts, technology, and apps (6:01) What you need to know about password safety and other steps to take in order to protect your online accounts (9:19) Dealing with harassment on social media, why blocking someone could have unintended consequences, and why you might want to mute/restrict instead (17:03) Adam answers the question, “Can my Amazon Echo be used for eavesdropping?” (25:39) How to figure out if you have a spy device in your home (26:38) Everything you need to know about stalkerware (39:10) Can your ex mirror your computer or device and see everything you are inputting? (34:28) Adam tells us about Smartphone air tags which are being used as a tracking device (41:19) Learn more about Adam Dodge: The founder of EndTAB, Adam is an internationally recognized digital safety expert who believes you do not have to be a tech expert to stay safe in the digital age. His work is characterized by his dedication to preventing and addressing the ways adults and children are harmed online and via their devices. He has written and presented extensively on digital safety, online abuse prevention, technology-enabled abuse, and co-authored the first safety advisory on the emerging threat of ‘deepfakes.’ A frequent speaker and lecturer at universities and national conferences, Adam is also a special advisor to the Coalition Against Stalkerware and sits on the World Economic Forum's Digital Justice Advisory Committee. His work and expertise has been featured on CBS and in Vogue, the MIT Technology Review, Washington Post, NBC News, the Verge, Mashable, Wall Street Journal, SELF Magazine, Los Angeles Times, GQ, HuffPost and others. Adam is a licensed attorney in California and prior to founding EndTAB, he spent 9 years leading the legal department at Southern California Domestic Violence Nonprofit. He earned his B.A. from UC Santa Barbara and his J.D. by way of McGeorge School of Law and Hastings College of the Law. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week I have the joy of welcoming the exEXPERTS, T.H. Irwin and Jessica Klingbaum, to the show. They're best friends who got divorced at the same time 14 years ago but had totally different divorce experiences. In this episode, they share their experience maneuvering through the overwhelming journey of divorce.  They also share how they’ve used their own divorce experiences to create a place online where anyone can go for any phase of divorce, answer all the questions, and feel educated about the process and everything that goes into it.   Show Highlights T.H. and Jessica share the parallels as well as the big differences between their divorce stories (5:50) How and why they decided to create their online platform, exEXPERTS (17:15) Honoring the tough issues of divorce including abuse in relationships (17:35) Owning your own experience and story of divorce (26:23) T.H. shares her experience divorcing a narcissist (33:46) Learn more about T.H. Irwin & Jessica Klingbaum: T.H. Irwin and Jessica Klingbaum are the co-founders of the online platform, exEXPERTS. They're best friends who got divorced at the same time 14 years ago, but had TOTALLY different divorce experiences. They realized back then that they didn't have the right resources to understand all the options and the different choices they needed to make, but they did have each other. So they used their own divorce experiences to create a place online where anyone can go for any phase of divorce, to answer all the questions and to feel educated about the process and everything that goes into it. As they like to say, they've lived it, so they get it! Resources & Links:Information and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/owning-your-divorce-story-with-t-h-irwin-and-jessica-klingbaum The exExperts The exExperts on Instagram The exExperts on TikTok The exExperts on Facebook The exExperts on LinkedIn TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE REVISED SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? PROGRAM  An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you’ll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week I’m re-airing my episode with Dr. Elizabeth Cohen, where we discussed how to cope when your partner has an active addiction. Dr. Elizabeth Cohen helps people get a little more comfortable with something as painful as addiction and divorce. When you’re living with or divorcing a partner who has an active addiction, you may find yourself acting out different behaviors including the need to control every situation. You may become (or already be!) codependent, and you focus on their healing instead of your own. When you finally take the focus off of them and towards yourself you can begin to see light at the end of what may be a very dark tunnel. Show Highlights When women share themselves openly and honestly, the world begins to split open (9:21) Focusing on your growth and healing is how we change our circumstances (11:06) Sublimating your own needs for someone else (23:00) Breaking the cycle of codependency (24:15) The core issue about a person abusing any substance is the difficulty sitting with emotions (34:41) A partner should never be responsible for healing the other (38:36) Some advice for those who are living with an active addict (47:33) Learn More About Dr. Cohen: Dr. Cohen is the CEO and founder of the online divorce course and membership Afterglow: The Light at the Other Side of Divorce. This 14 week course teaches women how to heal, grow and thrive after divorce no matter how difficult the process has been. Dr. Cohen offers a monthly membership program to provide 1:1 coaching, expert support from divorce professionals and an engaged community of like-minded people. Dr. Cohen received her PhD in clinical psychology from Boston University. She was the recipient of the prestigious American Psychological Foundation Research Award for her doctoral research. She has been featured on the Tamron Hall Show, the Wall Street Journal, NBC News, Women’s Health, Huff Post, Thrive Global, Daily Beast and Good Housekeeping. Dr. Cohen is a weekly contributor to Psychology Today with her “Divorce Course” column. Resources & Links: Information and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/tbt-addiction-and-divorce-with-dr-elizabeth-cohen The Revised Should I Stay or Should I Go is Now Available! Dr. Cohen’s website Dr. Cohen on Instagram Facebook The Divorce Doctor- Elizabeth Cohen,PhD 14 Day Step-By-Step Guide To Make Any Tough Decision While Going Through Divorce  3 Steps to Take Right Now for A Stress-Free Divorce Our Happy Divorce Livestream, Drugs, Alcohol, and Divorce with Kate and Elizabeth Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week I am talking about covert emotional abuse with philanthropist and passionate human rights advocate, Annette Oltmans. Annette helps bring awareness to covert emotional abuse, a dangerous and common form of Domestic Violence. If you are a victim or think you might be a victim, this is a must-listen episode.  Annette’s personal experiences of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage and her extensive journey of recovery including comprehensive field research into the topics of Original Abuse and Double Abuse® ignited her passion for founding The M3ND Project in 2016. Show Highlights: What motivated Annette to found the M3ND Project (6:45) Some of the definitions of covert emotional abuse like blame-shifting or minimization of the victim’s perspective (10:47) Annette shares the four pillars of abuse and what drives abusive thinking (25:50) Realizing you are a victim and changing the worldview of your relationship with your abuser brings on a new layer of stress (40:21) Abuse recovery and insights and advice for those thinking about repairing their relationship after their partner has begun therapy (41:00) Learn more about Annette: Annette Oltmans is a philanthropist and passionate human rights advocate. Annette’s personal experiences of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage and her extensive journey of recovery including comprehensive field research into the topics of Original Abuse and Double Abuse® ignited her passion to founding The M3ND Project in 2016. While seeking the help of professionals and responders, she experienced Double Abuse® in the form of spiritual and institutional abuse. These harmful encounters compelled Annette in her relentless pursuit for solutions that involved interviews with hundreds of victims and survivors. She uncovered common threads that cause victims prolonged states of confusion as well as what ultimately led them towards healing. Her journey also involved interviews with hundreds of faith-based leaders and therapists which led her to discover that most are untrained and ill-equipped to identify and help victims of emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse. In working to prevent and remediate such harm, Annette developed protocoled models that are now being taught and implemented with therapists, churches and professional organizations across the United States. She consulted with esteemed experts in abuse, trauma, and healing to ensure the materials align with the highest professional standards. Annette also serves on the Board of Pepperdine University’s Boone Center for the Family and is a Board of Trustee member of Northrise University in Zambia. Her writing on these topics of abuse, domestic violence, and bullying has been published in the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), Teen Vogue, and numerous other publications. Annette is also a contributing author in the newly released book, "Created to Thrive: Cultivating Abuse-Free Safe Communities".  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After last week’s Q&A episode, I received an outpouring of submissions from listeners with questions about co-parenting, relationships, and life after divorce. So I decided to do one more Q&A episode for you! This week I answer two co-parenting questions: one relates to how open to be with children about the details of your divorce, and the other has to do with co-parenting when your ex has a new partner. I also discuss mindset and mental health post-divorce, including how to cope with feelings of guilt or shame; and how to know if your new relationship is healthy for you.   In this episode, I answer these listener questions: How can I talk to my kids about the divorce process when leaving an emotionally and psychologically abusive marriage? There are things I can’t tell them in order to respect their relationship with my ex. How do I let them know I am taking a stand, his behavior was not okay, but also respect their relationship with him? How do you know if your new relationship is healthy? After divorcing a narcissist, I am finding it hard to trust a new man and myself fully. But, I don’t want to sabotage a new relationship. My husband had a three-year affair with a co-worker half his age. He is still with her and she may end up being a stepmother to my children. My ex and I co-parent beautifully right now, adding her to the mix could ruin all we have accomplished. Help? How do I cope with feelings of guilt or shame over my divorce? Want your question answered in a future episode? You can submit one anonymously. Submit your questions or story, right here.  Resources & Links: Private Coaching with Kate Anthony Listener Q&A: Co-parenting with a Narcissist, Dealing with a Manipulative Co-parent, and Supporting Your Children Through DivorceListener Q&A: Guilt, Denial & Changing Your NameJoin the 3-Day/Challenge Should I Stay or Should I Go? 11am PT in My Facebook GroupShould I Stay or Should I Go Facebook GroupThe Meadows Survivors 1 Program TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I’ve been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You’re a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won’t destroy your kids You’re looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You’re willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you’re ready to ‘go there’ Are you ready to learn from one of the world’s top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y’ARE!!!JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Earlier this month I aired a listener Q&A episode which ended up being a favorite of listeners, as well as women in my Facebook group. It’s important to me to cover topics that resonate with you. So, here I am again, with another Q&A episode! This time I answer four questions around the topics of supporting your children through divorce, including co-parenting with a narcissist and how to handle a manipulative co-parent. I also cover how to communicate you want a divorce to a partner who struggles with mental illness.  If you like this Q&A format, I need your questions. You can submit them anonymously. Submit your questions or story, right here. I hope to hear from you soon. In this episode, I answer these listener questions: Can you provide suggestions or resources for children of narcissistic parents? How do you get out of a marriage or co-parent when your partner struggles with mental illness? What to do when your soon-to-be-ex-spouse tries to take full custody, restricts parenting time, and claims unfounded allegations, false narratives, or manipulative behavior to make you look like an unfit parent? I am worried about the effects on my children after staying in a marriage with a narcissist for 28 years. How can I support my children after staying in a marriage with and then divorcing a narcissist? Resources & Links: Resources and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/listener-qa-co-parenting-with-a-narcissist-dealing-with-a-manipulative-co-parent-and-supporting-your-children-through-divorce/ Private Coaching with Kate AnthonyJoin the 3-Day/Challenge Should I Stay or Should I Go? 11am PT in My Facebook Group Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group Raising Resilient Children with a Borderline or Narcissistic Parent, Margalis Fjelstad, Jean McBride BLOG: How To Tell Your Husband You Want a Divorce Are Your A Highly Sensitive Person with Dr. Amelia Kelley High-Conflict Divorce and Family Court Advocacy with Tina Swithin The Top Eight Symptoms of Narcissistic Abuse with Leanne Oaten TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?  An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you’ll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Amelia Kelley returns to the show for a deep dive into what it means to be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Dr. Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist. She is a trained Art therapist, HSP Therapist, EMDR-informed therapist, meditation teacher, as well as a Certified Yoga instructor.  This episode is near and dear to my heart because I identify as a Highly Sensitive Person. Once I learned what an HSP is and how it affects the way I see the world around me, it was truly eye-opening! We discuss what being an HSP means, strategies for self-care, and how being an HSP can affect relationships. If you identify as an HSP, think you are one or are married to someone who is - this episode is a must-listen.  “Being a Highly Sensitive Person is not something to be changed or hidden. It is an exceptional quality. It’s a superpower.” Dr. Amelia Kelley Show Highlights Highly Sensitive Person (HSP): what is and how it relates to how your brain processes to the world around you. (4:21) D.O.E.S: Depth of processing, Overarousal, Emotional Intensity, Sensory Sensitivity. (5:12) Are you a Highly Sensitive Person? We discuss the HSP test and various results. (7:28) HSPs can also be High sensation-seeking Persons. (8:10) The challenges and strengths of being an HSP in a relationship. (13:43) Is being an HSP genetic? (21:25) Why HSPs get more out of yoga, therapy, or meditation sessions. (23:25) The highly reactive state of HSPs - both positive and negative. (24:08) We explore some of the ways HSPs may experience divorce. (27:42) Dr. Kelley’s top 5 self-care strategies for Highly Sensitive People. (43:21) Some ways HSPs can be affected physically, including hypersensitivity to caffeine. (48:22) Learn more about Dr. Kelley: Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist who has conducted research on the effects of exercise on ADHD symptoms as well as the effects of resiliency on PTSD. She is a trained Hypno-therapist, Art therapist, HSP Therapist, EMDR-informed therapist and meditation and Yoga teacher. She is a presenter and writer in the “science-help” field focusing on relationships, Highly Sensitive Persons, trauma, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD. She is a guest podcast presenter focusing on women’s issues and coping with the trauma of unhealthy relationships, as well as a coach and trainer for SAS's Work/Life Program in Cary, NC and a resident trainer for the NC Art Therapy Institute. Her practice is also currently part of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute. www.Ameliakelley.com  Resources & Links: Resources and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/are-you-a-highly-sensitive-person-with-dr-amelia-kelley Submit your questions to me about divorce or whether you should stay or go, here! Amelia’s website Amelia on Instagram Amelia on Facebook What I Wish I Knew Book on Facebook HSPerson.com The Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine Aron TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I’ve been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You’re a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won’t destroy your kids You’re looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You’re willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you’re ready to ‘go there’ Are you ready to learn from one of the world’s top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y’ARE!!!JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The conflict some women experience in their relationships isn’t always just “run of the mill” conflict. In fact, in many cases it is abuse. So, how do you know if what you’re experiencing is conflict or something more sinister like narcissistic abuse? Joining me to discuss the top eight experiences of women who are in a narcissistic abusive relationship is Leanne Oaten. Leanne’s passion is to guide women who are experiencing narcissistic abuse to end the cycle and get clarity on whether to stay or leave. Our hope is that by listening to this episode, you will be able to recognize whether or not the experiences that are occurring in your life, line up with the top eight experiences we discuss. And if they do, you can begin to seek out support and decide your next steps.  Show Highlights The difference between abuse and narcissistic abuse. (4:19) How a narcissist uses gaslighting to distort your reality. (6:10) The extreme highs and lows women experience including love bombing and depression. (9:52) The effects of blame-shifting. (12:16) His or her crazy-making conversation is a tool the narcissist uses to divert from the original point so they don’t have to take responsibility. (23:03) Trauma bonding and the narcissistic abusive relationship. (42:09) Don’t go to therapy with your abuser. Don't do it. (46:05) Learn more about Leanne Oaten: Leanne Oaten is a former counselor with over 9 years of experience coaching and supporting clients. After working in the counseling field in private practice for several years, she decided to go virtual with her business to serve women all over the world. She educates and guides women who are experiencing narcissistic abuse to end the cycle and get clarity on whether to stay or leave. Leanne Oaten founded Awakening Women Support in 2018 to begin sharing her unique and no bullsh*t perspectives on the patterns of narcissistic abuse and posts daily over on Instagram at instagram.com/awakeningwomensupport. Resources & Links: Links and information may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/the-top-eight-symptoms-of-narcissistic-abuse-with-leanne-oaten Submit your questions about divorce or whether you should stay or go, here! Leanne's website Leanne on Instagram Awakening Women Podcast can be found on iTunes and Spotify End the Cycle EvolvePain to Power Bootcamp 3 Part Video + Email series   TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINKProof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court-admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the child in your Family Law cases. JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we kick off a month-long series centered around my 7-Step Divorce Mindset Reset. If you've decided to get a divorce, it's time to start focusing on the immediate mindset shifts necessary to navigate this challenging period. Along with physically, financially, and legally divorcing, emotionally divorcing your spouse is crucial: “If you’re done, be done.” I've crafted these seven steps to help you approach your situation in a healthy, strategic, and empowered way. Throughout July, I'll guide you through each step. In this episode, I provide a brief introduction and overview of the seven steps, along with some exciting structural changes coming to the show and more! Resources & Links: 7-Step Divorce Mindset Reset Bundle Private Coaching with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/solo-episode-275-the-7-step-divorce-mindset-reset-intro =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, we are covering all things domestic violence, law enforcement, and the court. Joining me is Kelli Blackburn, a San-Diego County based attorney specializing in high-conflict domestic violence, child custody, and divorce. Together we talk about domestic violence and the legal implications and give a full explanation of what domestic violence is and how it can intertwine with welfare services. We also explore the underlying litigation that may or may not come from a domestic violence case.   Kelli shares in detail what to do if or when you find yourself in a domestic abuse situation - including how to navigate a restraining order. If you're experiencing any kind of domestic violence, please listen to my conversation with Kelli Blackburn. Show Highlights How to best educate yourself about domestic violence if you are currently experiencing it. (3:19) Clarifying what domestic violence is and what it encompasses. (3:43) Obtaining a temporary restraining order: everything you need to know. (7:35) How to know it is time to call a shelter and/or get out of a situation immediately. (27:32) Things to be aware of when you do leave, seek help, or go to the police, especially if children are involved. (26:17) The purpose of an emergency protective order and who can issue one. (36:05) What you need to know when law enforcement responds to a domestic violence call. (36:54) Victims don’t decide to prosecute or not prosecute. That is the role of the district attorney. (40:02) Why it’s important for victims to have attorneys who are professionals in domestic violence. (43:07) Know your audience: be aware that not every audience member of the family court will understand your action or inaction in a domestic violence case. (50:47) Learn more about Kelli: Kelli Blackburn is San-Diego County based attorney specializing in high-conflict domestic violence, child custody, and divorce. She was born in Northern California, but has been a Southern California resident for over a decade. She attended California Western School of Law, in downtown San Diego where she earned her Juris Doctorate. Throughout law school Kelli interned with the San Diego County Public Defender’s office where she gained invaluable litigation experience. After graduating from law school, she ran a boutique law firm in La Jolla, California, where she became the main litigator and the Managing Partner in just 2 years.  In the last 2.5 years, Kelli has represented over 1,000 clients and handled numerous criminal defense, and family law matters. She has also defended and prosecuted several Civil Harassment Restraining Orders. Kelli prides herself on her work ethic, tireless dedication to her clients – always working to achieve their objectives; her unwavering loyalty to resolution of their legal issues; and her paramount focus on the result of your case and your future.  She has been recognized by both the American Academy of Attorneys Top 40 Under 40, and The National Trial Association Top 40 Under 40, for her success, results, and experience.  Resources & Links:Show notes and links may also be accessed at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/domestic-violence-and-the-law-with-kelli-blackburn Kelli's website National Domestic Violence Hotline TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you’ll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Debra Doak is back on the show, this time to talk about all things conflict and divorce. Debra is a Certified Divorce Coach, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, Family Court Mediator, and the author of High-Conflict Divorce for Women.  In this episode, we dissect what it means to have conflict, how (and why) it happens, and what to do when it inevitably shows up in the midst of your divorce. Debra believes that while all divorce involves some degree of conflict, most of us have much more influence on the cost and the outcome than we realize - and much of that revolves around HOW we approach and respond to that conflict. Show Highlights What conflict is and what causes it to escalate in divorce. (5:02) An amicable divorce does not mean no conflict. Divorce will have conflict. (8:47) What factors contribute to a breakdown in communication when in divorce negotiation. Debra also explains the “assumption iceberg.” (9:44) The five ways people deal with conflict, including assertive or collaborative. (13:01) Effective mediation versus where mediation goes wrong. (15:06) Collaborative conflict divorce takes the longest, but it also has the best outcome for everyone. (18:09) How to invite your soon-to-be-ex into a collaborative discussion. (22:43) How to manage conflict in the moment: use the power of Yes/And. (32:22) Tools for dealing with a high-conflict situation or conversation. (37:33) The key to setting yourself up for success in divorce is preparation. (43:47) Learn more about Debra: Debra is a Certified Divorce Coach, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, Pre-Mediation Divorce Coach, Family Court Mediator, and the author of High-Conflict Divorce for Women. In addition to working one-on-one with clients, Debra spends time teaching and mentoring new divorce coaches. She is the instructor for the High Conflict portion of the CDC Certified Divorce Coach program, a long-time mentor coach for the CDC program, and is a co-founder and master educator at Divorce Coaches Academy - an online continuing education platform for professional divorce coaches.  She is committed to helping clients speak up for what they deserve in their relationships or at the negotiating table. In her practice, she works one-on-one with clients to help them prepare for a kinder, gentler divorce by providing the practical support and financial information clients need to punch fear in the face.  Debra is dedicated to the profession of divorce coaching and its role as a method of alternative dispute resolution. She believes that while all divorce involves some degree of conflict, most of us have much more influence on the cost and the outcome than we realize - and much of that revolves around HOW we approach and respond to that conflict.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Being in a marriage with a narcissist is exhausting. Divorcing a narcissist is no less exhausting. Tracy Malone is a surTHRIVER of narcissistic abuse, speaker, educator, and emotional resilience coach. In this episode, she joins me to share insights and information from her latest book, DIVORCING Your NARCISSIST: You Can’t Make This Shit Up!   Tracy’s book is a fantastic reference for anyone who is thinking about or in the midst of a high-conflict divorce with a narcissist. During our conversation, we talk about how to protect yourself before, during, and after divorce. When you are divorcing a narcissist, knowledge is empowerment. Tracy is such a great resource on this topic. I hope you get a lot out of our conversation. Show Highlights Lessons from DIVORCING Your NARCISSIST: You Can’t Make This Shit Up! (2:55) Why a rich narcissist can be much more vindictive than a poor one. (3:36) The masks a narcissist wears and how they use their masks to manipulate or trick the people around them. (4:28) Common mistakes people make when divorcing a narcissist. (10:31) The gray areas of the divorce decree! Tracy offers a reminder to get super finite about the details during your divorce. Plus, Tracy shares a specific decree that every divorce should have. (11:54) Post-separation legal abuse and how to protect against it. (16:14) Strategies for handling your emotional exhaustion. (26:27) Understanding (and having your support system understand) your triggers will be your salvation. (31:58) Why forming a team is so important to your divorce and how to determine what kind of lawyer you need. (34:18) The healing process and radical acceptance: addressing the wounds from narcissistic abuse and learning to let go of the things you cannot change. (42:31) Learn more about Tracy: Tracy Malone is a surTHRIVER of narcissistic abuse, speaker, educator, and emotional resilience coach. Tracy is the founder of NarcissistAbuseSupport.com, a global resource to victims of emotional abuse which offers support to those trying to break the ties with the narcissists in their lives. Tracy is the author of DIVORCING Your NARCISSIST: You Can’t Make This Shit Up! Resources & Links:Show notes and links may also be accessed at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/divorcing-your-narcissist-you-cant-make-this-shit-up-with-tracy-malone Tracy’s website Tracy on Instagram Tracy on Twitter Tracy on YouTube Narcissist Abuse Support Facebook Group Red Flag checklist are you with a narcissist? Questions to ask a lawyer before hiring them Parenting guidelines by state Pen Digital Voice Recorder Submit your questions about divorce or whether you should stay or go, here! Should I Stay or Should I Go? TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?  An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you’ll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’ve been a fan of Leslie Bennetts for quite some time. She is a journalist and expert on women's issues who has spoken all over the world on financial security and women's empowerment. She is the author of The Feminine Mistake: Are We Giving Up Too Much? She is also my guest this week on the podcast! I am so honored and excited to share this interview with you.  Leslie says, “After divorce, men’s standard of living goes up and women’s goes down a cliff.” The system is broken. Moreover, the blueprint for women’s lives is deeply antiquated. The women in my Facebook community have learned this the hard way. We need a new blueprint. Leslie joins me to bring light to this topic and offers ways we can work to rise up, overcome, and create a new, self-sufficient, path forward.  “It’s time for us to say, ‘No,’ this isn't good enough. It’s time to rise up and defend our own interests.” Leslie Bennetts Show Highlights Why Leslie wrote her book, The Feminine Mistake: Are We Giving Up Too Much? (3:29) We must stop telling women and girls that motherhood or marriage is the answer. (9:04) The feminine mistake is economic dependency. (10:15) Leslie explains why men’s sense of entitlement is a problem for women. (13:52) Women should not blame themselves or be blamed for opting out of the workforce to be a caretaker. (25:31) But, it is critical for women to be responsible for their own destinies and financial security. (31:12) It’s not your fault! You do have to cope with radical change, but it is not your fault. (35:22) Learn more about Leslie Bennetts: Leslie Bennetts is a journalist and expert on women's issues who has spoken all over the world on financial security and women's empowerment. She is the author of The Feminine Mistake: Are We Giving Up Too Much? as well as the biography Last Girl Before Freeway: The Life, Loves, Losses and Liberation of Joan Rivers. Resources & Links: Submit your questions about divorce or whether you should stay or go, here! Should I Stay or Should I Go? Leslie’s website Show notes and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/the-feminine-mistake-with-leslie-bennetts TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINKProof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court-admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the child in your Family Law cases. JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We often talk on this podcast about identifying abusive relationships and offering ways to get out. But what comes next? Dr. Amelia Kelley, a trauma-informed therapist, joins me to discuss how to move forward after surviving abuse. She is the co-author of the recently released book, aptly titled, What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After An Abusive Relationship.  Dr. Kelley is also a trained Art therapist, HSP Therapist, EMDR-informed therapist, meditation teacher, as well as a Certified Yoga instructor. She is a presenter and writer in the “science-help” field focusing on Highly Sensitive Persons (which we also discuss in this episode), trauma, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD. This is a truly informative and resourceful interview. Show Highlights What Dr. Kelley’s book is about and the unique way it was written from two perspectives: the victim and their therapist. (3:21) How Dr. Kelley works with victims of abuse in a therapeutic setting. (6:53) Friendship shifts in divorce or toxic relationships: Part of the mourning process to ending an abusive relationship includes ending other connected relationships as well. (14:23) What is a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)? (15:43) How an over-active limbic system affects highly sensitive people. (16:00) Is there a connection between HSPs and abusive relationships? (20:01) Some examples of thriving after an abusive relationship. (26:15) How to recognize emotional abuse and the covert ways it can show up. (30:26) The effect emotional abuse has on the brain. (34:33) Identifying your non-negotiables for future relationships. (41:00) Learn more about Dr. Kelley: Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist who has conducted research on the effects of exercise on ADHD symptoms as well as the effects of resiliency on PTSD. She is a trained Hypno-therapist, Art therapist, HSP Therapist, EMDR-informed therapist and meditation and Yoga teacher. She is a presenter and writer in the “science-help” field focusing on relationships, Highly Sensitive Persons, trauma, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD. She is a guest podcast presenter focusing on women’s issues and coping with the trauma of unhealthy relationships, as well as a coach and trainer for SAS's Work/Life Program in Cary, NC and a resident trainer for the NC Art Therapy Institute. Her practice is also currently part of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute. www.Ameliakelley.com Resources & Links:For resources and links, you may also visit the show notes page here: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/surviving-and-thriving-after-abuse-with-dr-amelia-kelley Submit your questions to me about divorce or whether you should stay or go, here!Amelia's website Amelia on Instagram Amelia on Facebook What I Wish I Knew Book on Facebook HSPerson.com TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you’ll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve been contemplating divorce and feeling guilty about your decision, if you’re wondering if you should change your last name post-divorce, or if you have a spouse who’s in denial (despite you telling them numerous times), don’t skip this episode! Why? Because this episode marks my very first Q&A episode!  I asked my community of women to send me their questions and I received some really great ones to explore. Join me as I answer questions about whether you should stay or go, how to handle the complexities of divorce, and everything in between.  I really hope this episode inspires you to submit your story or question too. I’d love to do more episodes like this one. So send your questions or story, right here. In this episode, I answer these listener questions: Why do I feel guilty over wanting a divorce? I’ve been so unhappy for so long. Is that a good enough reason to leave? Should I change my last name? Is it worth it? My husband is in denial about divorce. What can I do? Resources & Links: For show notes and links, you can also visit: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/guilt-denial-and-changing-your-name/ Private Coaching with Kate AnthonyHow to tell your husband you want a divorce  TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I’ve been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You’re a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won’t destroy your kids You’re looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You’re willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you’re ready to ‘go there’ Are you ready to learn from one of the world’s top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y’ARE!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re always going through some kind of loss, celebration, or change in our lives. Joining me to discuss the importance of ritual during times of great transition is Day Schildkret. Day is internationally known for the creation of Morning Altars, beautiful pieces of impermanent art. He is also the author of Hello, Goodbye: 75 Rituals for Times of Loss, Celebration, and Change. A conversation about divorce is a conversation about endings. In order to begin again, it is important to mark this transition. Putting things in order through ritual can be healing. It helps you to feel resourced, reoriented, supported and witnessed. Learning how to let go and honor what once was, through ritual, is such an important topic. I hope you truly enjoy this conversation.  “Endings are valuable. The better you can end something, the better you can begin something new.” Show Highlights Why Day says, “You have to change with change.” And what it means to participate in ending something, such as a relationship or marriage. (7:52) Endings need more from us than just going through the threshold. (10:02) Ritual: what it is and how it helps. (11:26) Why you need witnesses for endings as much as you do for beginnings. Witnesses affirm you are not alone and also acknowledge that change is happening. (12:17) Life transitions: we need to mark the places where we are turning, if we don’t we still think we are on the same path. (15:54) Day talks about Morning Altars and how divorce and grief inspired him to start this practice of creating impermanent art from nature. (23:51) Rituals always have a beginning, middle, and end. They are contained and allow the space for grief, uncertainty, and emotion. They encourage wholeness. (29:20) Day talks us through one of the divorce rituals from his book Hello, Goodbye: 75 Rituals for Times of Loss, Celebration, and Change. (31:31) There is a right and wrong time to do a ritual. If you are in the heat of a divorce or transition, it may not be the right time. (35:07) The importance of moving from grievance into grief. (38:47) Learn more about Day Schildkret: DAY SCHILDKRET is internationally known for Morning Altars and has inspired tens of thousands of people across the globe to heal and connect with nature, art and ritual. BuzzFeed calls Day's work, “a celebration of nature and life.”   Day's first book, Morning Altars: A 7-Step Practice to Nourish Your Spirit through Nature, Art and Ritual (The Countryman Press/WW Norton) ignited an international movement with a practice that renews and redeems our relationship to the living world. He recently launched the inaugural cohort of the year-long Morning Altars Practitioner Training & Certification with 100 students from five different continents. Day has an ever-growing and active audience of 64k followers on Instagram, over 25k on Facebook.  Day has taught workshops and created large-scale installations at Google, The 9/11 Memorial Plaza, The Hammerstein Ballroom, The Andy Warhol Foundation, California Academy of Sciences, 1440 Multiversity, Lakewood Historic Cemetery, Wellspring Conference, The Culture Conference, Wisdom 2.0 Conference, Wanderlust Festival, The Assemblage, The Alchemist Kitchen, Butte College, Naropa University, the ReImagine End-of-Life Festival, and many others.   Day’s art is on permanent exhibition at the California Museum of Oakland and had been featured in the store windows at ABC Carpet and Home in NYC. Day has appeared on NBC, CBS, in the award-winning SoulPancake YouTube video series and in a stop-motion animated film on UpliftTV. His work has been featured in BuzzFeed, Vice, Well+Good, My Modern Met, Spirituality & Health Magazine.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There is no one better to talk about the healing process of divorce than Dr. Elizabeth Cohen, aka the Divorce Doctor. She is a clinical psychologist, the author of Light at The Other Side of Divorce: Discovering the New You, and a true expert on the topic of how to heal and thrive during divorce. The last time Elizabeth joined me on the show, we discussed the importance of processing your emotions. This time we dig even deeper and talk about how healing is a slow, steady, and often imperfect process. We also explore how to become the most loving ally to yourself. —— Don’t forget, next week I’m doing a three-part workshop in my Facebook group entitled: So You’ve Decided to Get a Divorce: WHAT NOW? The vital steps you need to take to move forward with confidence and clarity. RSVP to the invite here. Don’t miss out! (Available only to members of the SISOSIG Community) Show Highlights No matter what you’re feeling now, you have the ability to move through difficult times and actually heal. (7:28) Healing is a slow, steady process where you take micro-moments towards change. (12:22) We discuss the first steps to identifying and working through your emotions. (14:48) Loving yourself again means realizing that you and your needs matter. (24:31) If self-love is a hard concept at the moment, think of it as moving from self-loathing to a feeling of neutrality with yourself. (26:56) Toxic environments require you to shut down your feelings. It is not your fault. (30:55) Tools to continue to heal through divorce, including the “Sacred Pause” or writing yourself a love letter. (31:28) Learn more about Dr. Cohen: Dr. Cohen, a clinical psychologist, is the author of, Light at The Other Side of Divorce: Discovering the New You which debuted at #1 on Amazon in popular psychology. She is the CEO and founder of the online divorce course and membership Afterglow: The Light at the Other Side of Divorce. Dr. Cohen is the CEO of the Center for CBT in NYC. Dr. Cohen’s online course teaches women how to heal, grow and thrive after divorce no matter how difficult the process has been. Dr. Cohen received her Ph.D. in clinical psychology from Boston University. She was the recipient of the prestigious American Psychological Foundation Research Award for her research on the emotional effects of 9/11. She has been featured on the Tamron Hall Show, the Wall Street Journal, NBC News, Women’s Health, Huff Post, Thrive Global, Daily Beast, and Good Housekeeping. Dr. Cohen is a weekly contributor to Psychology Today with her “Divorce Course” column. Dr. Cohen’s Divorce Doctor podcast which shares people’s divorce stories hit 10,000 downloads in only 3 months. Resources & Links:Join Kate’s Free Live Workshop on January 17, 18, and 19th. All you have to do is be in her Facebook  Dr. Cohen’s book Dr. Cohen’s website Dr. Cohen on Facebook Dr. Cohen on Instagram TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?  An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage…once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you’ll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Earlier this week on The Divorce and Beyond Podcast with Susan Guthrie, she and I spoke about how to have the most difficult conversation of your life with someone: the “I want a divorce,” conversation. Today, Susan joins me to discuss what happens next. Together we explore some of the things you should do right after having the talk, including how to build your divorce team and considerations for divorce proceedings or mediation.  Susan Guthrie is nationally recognized as one of the Top Family Law and Mediation Attorneys in the country. She has been helping individuals and families navigate separation and divorce for 30 years. Susan provides online divorce mediation and legal coaching services to select clients around the world. If you missed part one of our conversation, visit Susan’s website to listen! - - - - -  Also: I want to hear your story and answer your questions! My work and my podcast are all about bringing you the most and best information possible on the subjects of divorce, escaping and healing from abuse, creating healthy boundaries and relationships, and helping you make the most informed decision on whether to stay or go. So, what questions do you have about divorce, or deciding to stay or go? Leave me a message, it can be anonymous, that I’ll play on the air, and I’ll answer your question on an upcoming episode. Show Highlights Why is January “divorce month”? (11:20) What is the first thing you should do after you share with your spouse that you want a divorce? (14:50) The biggest fallacy in the divorce process is that building a good team is going to cost you more money. (16:08) If the end goal is that you want to mediate, what is the correct path? (23:26) The key to collaborative or mediated divorce is working together. (28:33) Some approaches to divorce mediation and building a mediation team. (34:06) When you rush into your divorce and the emotions are high, you make your divorce take longer. (43:21) A reasonable expectation of a timeline for your divorce. (46:36) Learn More About Susan: Susan Guthrie, nationally recognized as one of the Top Family Law and Mediation Attorneys in the country, has been helping individuals and families navigate separation and divorce for 30 years. Susan provides online divorce mediation and legal coaching services to select clients around the world. As a leading dispute resolution professional, Susan is honored to serve on the Executive Council of the American Bar Association’s (ABA) Section of Dispute Resolution as the Membership Officer and to be a Co-Chair of the Mediation Committee.  After a year and half of co-hosting the award-winning podcast, Breaking Free: A Modern Divorce Podcast, which reached over 3 million listeners, Susan recently launched her fresh and inspiring new podcast, The Divorce and Beyond Podcast with Susan Guthrie, Esq. which debuted on iTunes “Top Podcasts” List for self-help podcasts. Divorce & Beyond is focused on pulling back the curtain on the mysteries of the divorce process and bringing tips and resources to help people to thrive and shine in their new future beyond divorce.  Susan has been featured in and on media outlets such as CNBC, Market Watch, News Nation, Forbes, the ABA’s Just Resolutions Magazine, Thrive Global, Medium, and many more. She is licensed to practice law in the States of California and Connecticut as well as before the Supreme Court of the United States. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Kimberly Nelson returns to the show! We are talking about financial infidelity including how to recognize it and what to do if you find it’s happening to you. Kimberly shines a light on some of the red flags of someone being financially deceitful, why it’s important to exercise your financial agency, and explains why being aware of your finances matters for your divorce.  As an Advisor at Coastal Bridge Advisors, Kimberly Nelson focuses on bringing clarity and control to her clients’ financial lives. She works with them to create a strong foundation for financial health through innovative, objectives-based wealth planning solutions with an emphasis on marriage dissolution and transition.   There are numerous types of infidelities; emotional, sexual, and relational. And there is financial infidelity, which is very hard to undo and recover from. Listen to this episode to hear how you can avoid it and what to do if you think it’s happening to you. Show Highlights What is financial infidelity, anyway? (5:29) Why it is important to have financial agency and know what is going on with your finances. (9:24) Check and keep tabs on your credit report. You can pull your credit report for free, three times a year. Kimberly shares how. (13:13) Signs that you might be a victim of financial infidelity. (17:28) You know you want to get a divorce: is stashing cash for your divorce financial infidelity? (23:04) What to do if you suspect financial infidelity and how to have a conversation with your spouse. (33:12) If your divorce goes to trial, proof of financial infidelity will be crucial. This documentation is key. (43:07) Is it worth hiring a forensic accountant? (47:00) Learn more about Kimberly: Kimberly has been working with high-net-worth divorcees in the LA area for more than 15 years. She understands the challenges women face when navigating an overwhelming bevy of attorneys, accountants, insurers, and other advisors during the dissolution process. She values the strong relationships she builds with her clients and is dedicated to enhancing the quality of their lives, believing that ongoing successful wealth oversight requires collaboration between investor and advisor.  She became a CFA Charter holder in 2012 and maintains a steadfast dedication to both her education and that of her community around financial matters. She’s actively involved in the financial literacy efforts of the Los Angeles Center for Law & Justice (LACLJ) and serves as a board member and treasurer of Grades of Green, a non-profit that works to instill environmental awareness in the minds of elementary school students. Resources & Links:Information and links can also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/financial-infidelity-with-kimberly-nelson/ Private Coaching with Kate AnthonyKimberly on Linkedin Kimberly’s websiteDivorce, Debt, and the Pandemic with Kimberly Nelson TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?  An online coaching program designed to help you make the right decision about your marriage...once and for all. In this groundbreaking online coaching program, you’ll unlock the support, education and deep transformational work you need to finally answer to your most burning question: should I stay or should I go? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anne Wintemute, Co-Founder of Aimee Says, joins me on the podcast this week. Aimee is an AI-powered advocate for victims and survivors of domestic violence. This fascinating and powerful AI tool helps individuals gain the support and validation they need. We uncover how Aimee can act as your advocate and lower the barrier to access vital resources. More than just a Google search, Aimee operates in multiple languages and is a groundbreaking initiative for empowerment.  I am endlessly fascinated by this tool’s ability to identify and address the complex needs of those it serves and I cannot wait for you to listen to this episode! Featured topics: Anne's motivation behind launching Aimee Says (5:22) How Aimee supports individuals from recognizing abuse to achieving recovery, including its role in safety planning (10:05) Aimee's multifaceted approach: AI-driven support, insights from human engineering, and specialized responses for survivors (14:23) How Anne and her team ensure Aimee delivers trustworthy and secure guidance (15:46) Exciting plans for Aimee, including expanding AI capabilities and forging strategic partnerships to enhance support for survivors (25:33) Learn more about Anne Wintemute: Anne Wintemute is the Co-Founder and CEO of Aimee Says, an AI companion for victims and survivors of controlling partners. When she's not working to hold perpetrators accountable, Anne can be found tending her urban farm or playing with her kids in Denver Colorado.  Resources & Links: Private Coaching with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Aimee Says is an AI companion for victims and survivors of domestic abuse. Never before has instant, free, comprehensive support been at the fingertips of anyone impacted by a current or former partner's controlling behaviors. Aimee Says is committed to empowering survivors as they seek safety and healing for themselves and their loved ones and pursue accountability for their perpetrators. Get support and start healing with Aimee. Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-274-aimee-says-ai-support-for-victims-and-survivors-of-domestic-abuse-with-anne-wintemute/ DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Michelle Dempsey-Multack returns to the show! She joins me to talk about how to survive the holidays pre- or post-divorce. If you’ve gone through a divorce within the last 12 months or are about to start the divorce process, you are emotionally and financially spent. So, how can you get through the holiday season and feel content with the here and now?   If this is your first Christmas alone or last holiday as a single-family unit, this episode will offer advice about how to create new holiday traditions, how to set boundaries, and how to take care of yourself during this highly emotional and uncertain time in your life.  Michelle is a writer, coach, Certified Divorce Specialist (CDS®) and host of the Moms Moving On Podcast. As a divorced, co-parenting, and remarried mother, nothing makes Michelle happier than being able to guide other women as they move on through the divorce process, and helping them turn their divorce lemons into lemonade - just like she did. A native New Yorker, Michelle now resides in Miami with her husband, Spencer, and each of their daughters, Bella and Jolie.  There is no right or wrong answer for getting through the holidays during or after divorce. Do what feels right. Lean into whatever it is you are feeling; whether it is good or bad. And remember, it’s just a season and will be over before you know it. Show Highlights A simple reminder that Christmas and New Year’s Day are just days on a calendar. (6:41) Identifying your definition of happiness. (8:33) How you can take the parts of a holiday that feel special to you and make new traditions. (11:58) The importance of creating space to make new traditions and to heal. (14:18) Once children have had to separate their parents in their minds, it can sometimes be really confusing to see them together. (16:45) It’s not always best for kids for parents to do holidays together right after divorce. Michelle shares some of the things that are best, like not being made to bear the weight of your sadness. (17:55) Your job at this juncture is to take care of yourself and your children. Period. (20:19) Waking up alone on Christmas morning can be painful and hard. Michelle offers some suggestions for getting through those moments. (24:33) How to set boundaries about conversations about your divorce during holiday get-to-gethers. (33:45) Disparity in incomes: it’s perfectly acceptable to teach children the value of money and what gifts you are able to afford. (37:48) Learn More About Michelle: Michelle Dempsey-Multack is a writer, coach, Certified Divorce Specialist (CDS®), and host of the Moms Moving On Podcast. As a divorced, co-parenting, and remarried mother, nothing makes Michelle happier than being able to guide other women as they move on through the divorce process, and helping them turn their divorce lemons into lemonade – just like she did. A native New Yorker, Michelle now resides in Miami with her husband, Spencer, and each of their daughters, Bella and Jolie. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Everyone is talking about the holiday season. Well, this week we are talking about peak dating season - which is coming up in ten days. Bela Gandhi re-joins me on the podcast to talk about what peak dating season means and how to maximize it. Plus, if you’re feeling resistant or somewhat cynical about dating, like me, Bela shares some advice to help you (and me) work through those feelings.  Bela Gandhi is a dating/relationship expert, founder of Smart Dating Academy, TEDx speaker, and a media personality who has been featured on most national/local media outlets including Good Morning America, Steve Harvey, the Today Show, Kelly Clarkson, Access, ABC, NBC, Fox, and more. Bela is often referred to as the Fairy Godmother of Dating. And she is! Every time I talk to Bela, I feel confident and am re-energized about dating. Join us for a fun and insightful conversation! Show Highlights Cynicism about dating and what “dateable” means to you. (6:47) What we think of and focus on will grow - if you think everyone is going to be awful, you will be drawn towards the partners who fulfill those prophecies. (9:10) How to maximize peak dating season. (10:29) Dating app communication: Bela shares when it’s appropriate to drop the conversation! (15:53) You want to be with someone who likes you just a little bit more than you like them. (18:09) Why video dating can save you a lot of disappointment and a lot of time. (19:01) Some advice about using dating apps and online dating sites. Quick tip: “Pick one app and get started!” (21:28) Dating profile pictures do’s and don’ts. (29:35) There is no substitute for time in the dating process. (43:44) Learn More About Bela: Bela Gandhi is a dating/relationship expert, founder of Smart Dating Academy, TEDx speaker, and a media personality who has been featured on most national/local media outlets including Good Morning America, Steve Harvey, the Today Show, Kelly Clarkson, Access, ABC, NBC, Fox, and more.  After she graduated (with dual degrees in Finance and German from the University of Illinois in Urbana/Champaign), Gandhi worked in mergers and acquisitions for Arthur Andersen in Chicago for a year before joining her family's chemicals manufacturing company (CCC), where she divided her time between Chicago and Europe helping to expand the business. When the Gandhi family sold its business to Fortune 500 company Akzo Nobel, she was asked to remain its leader, and became Akzo Nobel Non-Stick Coating’s Global Vice President of Housewares. But even as she quickly climbed the corporate ladder, Gandhi had a feeling that her career would one day be taking a sharp turn in a different direction – because she discovered her love of matchmaking and providing dating advice. She launched her Smart Dating Academy in 2009. Smart Dating Academy has quickly become one of the nation's top date coaching firms - and teaches busy, successful professionals to jump start their dating lives successfully. Smart Dating Academy is described by its clients “like going to Harvard Business School, but for dating and relationships.” SDA’s coaches become personal trainers for their clients’ love lives – helping them to navigate the ever-changing world of online & in-person dating. The SDA coaching program is results-oriented and fun - which helps you to clarify who is right for you, stop old dating patterns, and use technology the RIGHT way. Clients become positive and enthusiastic about dating / relationships again and find love! Bela attends more weddings than she can count, and loves love.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lindsey Ellison returns to the show this week. You know her as the author of MAGIC Words: How To Get What You Want From a Narcissist. She has a new book out called Blessons of a Breakup. In this episode, both Lindsey and I share some of our unique experiences with healing from trauma, codependency, or co-addictive relationships. We also explore love addiction and being love avoidant, including what it is, and how it manifests. For those of you new to Lindsey, she is a relationship coach and founder of Start Over Coaching, Inc. She helps people navigate their divorce or break-up and also helps people break free from narcissistic abuse. Our conversation was healing and beautiful for me; I hope it is for you as well.  Show Highlights Lindsey shares a personal story of resurfaced codependency and the emotional triggers that manifested. (5:23) What Lindsey learned at The Meadows and how it informed her choice to break up with someone she truly loved due to their copendendent and co-addictive relationship. (11:00) Being unprepared for the pain of a breakup and in deep pain of grief. (14:32) Love addiction: what it is and how it shows up in relationships. (15:39) A love addict's greatest fear is abandonment and an underlying fear of intimacy. (18:03) Love addiction versus love avoidance. (18:38) Why Lindsey says the spiritual process matters to the healing of a broken heart. (32:11) “Our ego is the CEO of all things from the past. Our spirit is only right now.” (41:38) Why Lindsey wrote her book Blessons of a Breakup. (42:44) Learn more about Lindsey: Lindsey Ellison is a relationship coach and founder of Start Over Coaching, Inc. She helps people navigate their divorce or break-up and also helps people break free from narcissistic abuse. Her newest book, MAGIC Words: How to Get What You Want from a Narcissist, offers a step-by-step formula on how to create a communication plan and provides a script of empowering “magic” words that can neutralize the power struggle.   Resources & Links:Resources can also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/blessons-of-a-breakup-with-lindsey-ellison Private Coaching with Kate Anthony Lindsey’s websiteLindsey on Facebook Lindsey on Twitter Lindsey on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices