Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast The Divorce Course Podcast
| Titre | Date | Durée | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Cheating and Divorce in Australia: What the Court Actually Cares About | 27 Oct 2026 | 00:59:59 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if… - You've just found out your ex was cheating – and your lawyer doesn't seem to care - You're wondering if the affair changes your property settlement - You're combing through disclosure for gifts, hotels and a money trail - You're scared of being painted as the "jealous ex" in family court - Your ex's new partner is suddenly part of your kids' lives ⚠️ General information only – not legal advice. Australian family law; always consult a qualified family lawyer about your circumstances. 🛟 This episode discusses emotional abuse, gaslighting and coercive control. If you're in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14. Mum and I unpack the question "my ex cheated – does it actually matter?" We cover wastage of joint money, proving the money trail in disclosure, negotiating while you're hurt (without swinging from give-up to revenge), the traps around kids and the new partner, and why your reaction – not their cheating – is what the court ends up watching. Plus the cases Gollings & Scott and Tajani & Tajani ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – My Ex Cheated: Does It Actually Matter in Divorce? 01:00 – From Private Investigators to No-Fault Divorce in Australia 04:00 – The Emotional Hit: Gaslighting, Paranoia and Flashbacks 06:00 – Two Separate Recoveries: Healing vs the Legal Process 08:00 – What the Court Cares About: Joint Money Spent on an Affair 10:00 – STIs and When Cheating Crosses Into Abusive Behaviour 12:00 – Before, During, After: When Affair Spending Counts 13:00 – The Judge's Range: How Conduct Can Lift Your Percentage 14:00 – Proving It: Gifts, Hotels and the Money Trail in Disclosure 17:00 – The Hat Trick: Separating Heartbreak From Strategy 18:00 – Negotiating While Hurt: The Two Traps 19:00 – The Pendulum Effect: Give Up, Fair or Everything 21:00 – Guilty Exes and Generous Offers: Grab Them or Not? 23:00 – Negotiating to Punish and the "Jealous Ex" Label 26:00 – The Five Stages of Grief After Betrayal 28:00 – Adjustment Disorder and Family Reports 30:00 – Co-Parenting With the Affair Partner 31:00 – New Partners in Parenting: Subpoenas and Safety Checks 33:00 – How Soon Is Too Soon to Introduce a New Partner? 38:00 – Don't Interrogate the Kids: The Car Ride Strategy 44:00 – Rapid Fire: Affairs Before, During and Under One Roof 45:00 – Onerous Contributions, De Facto Overlaps and Tajani & Tajani 48:00 – Two Property Settlements, Filing First and the Family Home 51:00 – Does a New Partner's Income Affect Your Settlement? 53:00 – The Biggest Takeaway: Adjustments, Not Revenge 🎧 Episodes Mentioned Are We De Facto? – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/are-we-de-facto-what-it-could-mean-for-property/id1503451022?i=1000743246854 Property or Parenting First? – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/property-or-parenting-first-does-the-order-actually/id1503451022?i=1000782876028 Coercive Control vs a Bad Relationship https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-vs-a-bad-relationship-how-to-tell/id1503451022?i=1000774925805 Coercive Control & Domestic Violence in Family Court https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-domestic-violence-in-family-court/id1503451022?i=1000764231660 🔗 Links & Resources Family Law Act 1975 – Section 79 – https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s79.html 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 | Lifeline – 13 11 14 | 🚓 Police – 000 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au – free webinar: click "Reserve My Seat" 🎓 Blog: www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog If this episode helped you understand what cheating does and doesn't change in your divorce, please follow, rate, review and share The Divorce Course Podcast. All our best, Laura & Lyn – Your Guides By Your Side. | |||
| How to Get Court-Admissible Proof of Every Message From Your Ex | 20 Oct 2026 | 00:46:33 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if… - You dread every text from your ex and screenshot messages "just in case" - Your co-parent avoids, delays or denies every conversation that matters - You can't get a straight yes or no - You carry the mental load of every reminder, newsletter and schedule - You've been told to "document everything" and want it done automatically ⚠️ General information only not legal advice. Australian family law; always consult a qualified family lawyer about your circumstances. 🛟 This episode discusses family violence and coercive control. If you're in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14. unpack the co-parenting app that courts here actually trust. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – Dreading Texts From Your Ex? Why You Need This Episode 01:00 – Meet Erin Green From OurFamilyWizard Australia 02:00 – Why Avoidant Co-Parents Stop Communicating 05:00 – The Amicable Trap: Becoming the Communication Manager 07:00 – What Is OurFamilyWizard? The Co-Parenting App Explained 08:00 – Uneditable, Encrypted Records vs Deleted Text Messages 10:00 – Calls Feature: Transcripts and Documented Call Activity 11:00 – Family Violence Orders: Calling Without Sharing Your Number 12:00 – The Shared Calendar and Change Requests Without Drama 15:00 – Expense Tracking: Invoices, Receipts and Proof for Court 17:00 – The Info Bank: Schools, Medications and Clothing Sizes 18:00 – Who Uses OurFamilyWizard (And When Courts Order It) 20:00 – Putting the App in Your Consent Orders 21:00 – Timestamped Messages: No Deleting, No Rewriting History 22:00 – Free Divorce Webinar With Laura & Lyn 23:00 – Court-Admissible PDFs and Professional Access 25:00 – The AI Writing Assistant That Flags Escalating Language 27:00 – Message Search + Safety for Survivors of Abuse 29:00 – Word Salad, Yes-or-No Requests and Coercive Control 31:00 – Check-Ins and Location Privacy After Family Violence 33:00 – A Tool, Not a Safety Plan: Tech Stalking Reminders 34:00 – What If Your Ex Refuses to Use a Co-Parenting App? 36:00 – Protection Orders, Mediation and Raising the App 37:00 – Fee Waivers for Family Violence and Financial Duress 38:00 – Defence Force Discount Explained 40:00 – OurFamilyWizard Cost: Essentials, Premium and Max 43:00 – Erin's Best Advice: Pause Before You Reply 44:00 – What to Embroider on a Cushion This Week 🎧 Episodes Mentioned Coercive Control and Your Kids – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-and-your-kids-how-to-protect-your/id1503451022?i=1000777679728 Co-Parenting With a High Conflict, Narcissistic or Avoidant Ex – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/co-parenting-how-to-successfully-do-it-even-with-a/id1503451022?i=1000559535573 Take the Divorce Personality Quiz – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/take-the-divorce-personality-quiz-learn-why-your/id1503451022?i=1000748290587 Is Your Ex Watching You? Coercive Control Goes Digital – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/is-your-ex-watching-you-coercive-control-goes-digital/id1503451022?i=1000758578403 Creating a Safety Plan Before You Need One – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/from-fear-to-freedom-creating-a-safety-plan-before/id1503451022?i=1000741625311 Co-Parenting Without Court Orders – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/co-parenting-without-court-orders-the-real-rules-and/id1503451022?i=1000735234386 🔗 Links & Resources OurFamilyWizard Australia – https://www.ourfamilywizard.com.au Fee waiver (via your lawyer, mediator or support professional): prohelp@ourfamilywizard.com Help using the app: info@ourfamilywizard.com 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 | Lifeline – 13 11 14 | 🚓 Police – 000 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au – free webinar: click "Reserve My Seat" 🎓 Blog: www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog | |||
| How to Convince your Ex you Deserve more than Half of the Property in Divorce | 15 Oct 2026 | 00:53:37 | |
🎧 Listen if you… - Keep hearing "you're not getting more than 50/50" from your ex - Are stuck yelling percentages at each other and getting nowhere - Feel greedy asking for what's actually fair - Want your proposal backed by real law before mediation
⚠️ General information only – not legal advice. Australian family law; always consult a qualified family lawyer. 🛟 This episode discusses coercive control and duress. In danger? Call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732).
In this episode we show you how to build your case the way the court does contributions, then current and future circumstances then get your ex's buy-in fact by fact, and back it all with legislation and recent cases (including Mum's AustLII "note up" trick). Plus the mindset work, the "amicable" trap, and my cringe-but-effective strategy
⏱️ CHAPTERS 00:00 – Ex Says 50/50 or Nothing? How to Negotiate More 02:00 – Why Exes Refuse: The Win–Lose Business Mindset 03:40 – Mum's #1 Rule: Never Negotiate in Percentages 06:00 – The Court Case That Proves Percentages Backfire 07:30 – What the Family Court Actually Does in Property Settlement 08:30 – The Five-Step Property Settlement Process 10:00 – Big vs Small Property Pools: Why Adjustments Differ 11:45 – Is More Than 50% Greedy? When 50/50 Actually Happens 16:00 – Get Your Mindset Sorted Before You Negotiate 18:00 – "Who Died and Made Them Boss?" 19:30 – The Future Self Test and Negotiation Fatigue 21:00 – Why Wanting to Be "Amicable" Can Be a Trap 23:30 – Laura's Divorce Vision Board (Cringe but It Worked) 25:45 – Financial Contributions: The Polythene Pipe Analogy 28:00 – Non-Financial, Homemaking and Parenting Contributions 29:45 – Post-Separation Contributions and Common Shenanigans 32:00 – Contributions and Future Needs in the Family Law Act 36:30 – Putting It in Writing: Getting Buy-In Fact by Fact 38:30 – The AustLII Note-Up Trick for Backing It With Law 42:00 – When They Stop Negotiating or Lawyer Up 43:30 – Reframing the Deal: "50/50 of What?" 46:15 – Rapid Fire: Delete "Amicable", Say "Fair" Instead 48:45 – The Superannuation Equalising Trap and the Give-In Wall 52:45 – "I Won't Leave Until You Sign": Duress, Safety and 1800 RESPECT 56:45 – Embroider It on a Cushion: Your Fair Future
🎧 EPISODES MENTIONED Percentages in Divorce Property Settlements Explained – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/percentages-in-divorce-property-settlements-explained/id1503451022?i=1000729446519 Pitfalls of Premature Percentage Negotiations – https://open.spotify.com/episode/6bxTgrdymCeW16Q7z5njUe Big or Small Property Pool? – https://open.spotify.com/episode/697VeO4FrXQt9LYaabHtUC BATNA in Divorce – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/batna-in-divorce-how-to-negotiate-property-and/id1503451022?i=1000719715152 Coercive Control & DV in Family Court – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-domestic-violence-in-family-court/id1503451022?i=1000764231660 Super Split Myths – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/super-split-myths-why-equalising-isnt-always-fair-in/id1503451022?i=1000708394387 Convincing the Unconvincible – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/convincing-the-unconvincible-in-divorce-negotiations/id1503451022?i=1000526927752
📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 | Lifeline – 13 11 14 | Police – 000 ⚖️ Family Law Act 1975 s79 – https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s79.html 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au
If this helped, please follow, rate, review and share so others can find it too. All our best, Laura & Lyn – Your Guides By Your Side | |||
| Christmas and Co-Parenting: What happens with the kids? Orders, Family Court Deadlines & Handovers | 07 Oct 2026 | 01:09:54 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if…
⚠️ Disclaimer: General information only, not legal advice. Based on Australian family law (WA differs). Always get independent legal advice. 🛟 This episode discusses family violence and coercive control. If you're in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) | Orange Door | Lifeline 13 11 14.
About this episode: What about Christmas morning? What if there are no orders and your ex announces the plan like it's done? Mum and I cover the family court Christmas deadline, what to do if you have no orders, your options; changeover on the day, alternating blocks, or letting Christmas fall where it lands and how to make sure your christmas plans have no loopholes
⏱️ Timeline 00:00 – Who Gets Christmas Morning? 01:30 – Family Violence Warning & Disclaimer 03:00 – Why Christmas Is Chaos in Family Law Offices 04:00 – Your First Christmas Separated 05:30 – The Creep Strategy at Christmas 06:30 – The Court Deadline: Second Friday in November 08:00 – Why Christmas Isn't Legally "Urgent" 09:30 – Your Ex Just Announces the Plan? What to Do 12:30 – Propose a Child-Focused Plan in Writing 14:30 – Already in Court? Interim Applications 16:00 – Don't Poke the Bear vs a Dog Off the Leash 18:30 – Too Afraid to Ask? You've Been Trained 20:30 – Reasonable Question + Crazy Response = Proof 22:30 – Option 1: Changeover on Christmas Day 24:00 – Changeover by Divorce Personality Type 26:00 – Option 2: Christmas Eve–Boxing Day Alternate Years 26:30 – The Travel Trap in Christmas Orders 27:30 – Presents That Can't Travel: The Clause You Need 28:30 – Option 3: Let Christmas Fall Where It Lands 29:00 – How School Holidays Are Split in Orders 30:00 – Gazetted Holidays and Pupil-Free Day Traps 32:00 – Contact Centres at Christmas: Book Now 33:30 – Christmas Phone Call Clauses 35:30 – Handover Locations: Drive There First 38:30 – Do Kids Get a Say? 40:00 – Parenting Plan vs Consent Orders 41:00 – Why Exes Misbehave in December 42:30 – Non-Compliance and Enforcement 44:30 – Making It Watertight: Times, Not Descriptions 47:30 – The Lateness Rule at Handover 48:30 – No Wriggle Room & the Spirit of the Orders 51:50 – Your October Checklist 53:00 – The Notice of Intention to File 56:00 – Rapid Fire: Presents, No-Shows, Three Strikes 58:30 – New Partners at Changeover 1:01:30 – Plans for Every Divorce Personality Type 1:07:50 – Kidsmas
🎧 Episodes mentioned: The Creep Strategy Exposed (Ep 336) → Separated for the Holidays? (Ep 178) → https://youtu.be/tdDduzuSK8I?si=3dUJ6YitO0TTXnFT Co-Parenting & the School Holidays (Ep 78) → https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flibR76WrNc Divorce Holiday Survival Guide (Ep 224) → https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/divorce-holiday-survival-guide-how-to-communicate-when/id1503451022?i=1000740365814
📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 | Orange Door | Lifeline — 13 11 14 | Police — 000 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au – free resources + DIY Divorce Blueprint (Module 3 parenting templates) If this helped you get ahead of Christmas, please subscribe, like and share so others can find it too. All our best, Laura & Lyn Your Guides By Your Side | |||
| Worried About Your Divorce Lawyer? Delays, Bills and Backpedaling in Family Law Explained | 30 Sep 2026 | 00:51:30 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if…
⚠️ Disclaimer: General information only, not legal advice. Based on Australian family law. Always get independent legal advice, and consider all aspects before deciding to leave your lawyer. About this episode: ⏱️ Timeline 🎧 Episodes mentioned: 📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 | Lifeline — 13 11 14 | Police — 000 If this helped you work out whether your lawyer is the right fit, please subscribe, like and share so others can find it too. All our best, | |||
| The Narcissist Playbook: 10 Patterns of Manipulative Exes in Divorce | 23 Sep 2026 | 00:40:56 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if…
⚠️ Disclaimer: General information only, not legal advice. Based on Australian family law. Originally recorded in 2021 – laws may have changed. Always get independent legal advice. About this episode: ⏱️ Timeline 🎧 Episode mentioned: Finance and Financial Planners (with Pedro) 📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 | Lifeline — 13 11 14 | Police — 000 If this episode helped you recognise the patterns and feel less alone, please subscribe, like and share so others can find it too. All our best, | |||
| The Truth About House Valuations in Divorce (And the Dirty Tricks) | 16 Sep 2026 | 00:44:08 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if…
⚠️ Disclaimer: General information only, not legal advice. Based on Australian family law. Always get independent legal advice for your circumstances. About this episode: ⏱️ Timeline 🎧 Episodes mentioned: Renovations and Divorce: 📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 | Lifeline — 13 11 14 | Police — 000 | |||
| Domestic Violence in Custody Battles: The Creep Strategy Exposed | 09 Sep 2026 | 00:53:27 | |
🎧 Listen to this if…
This is general information only it is not legal advice. The content reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your specific situation. Always consult a lawyer about your circumstances. Laws may have changed since this episode was recorded. This episode discusses family violence, coercive control and child safety. If you are in danger, call 000. For support: (1800 737 732). ⏱️ Timeline00:00 – The Creep Strategy 02:30 – Separated Under One Roof 04:00 – What Supervised Visits and Contact Centres Are 06:00 – The Creep in Action: 09:30 – Pressure Tactics: Alienation Accusations & Court Threats 11:45 – Pressure From Your Own Lawyer 12:30 – Step-Up Orders 15:15 – Does Refusing Unsupervised Time Look Bad in Court? 17:00 – The 50/50 Myth Busted 19:15 – The Trap: Agreeing to Unsupervised Time 22:45 – An Ex Who Refuses Supervised Time 25:15 – Dorval & Augustin [2025]: 27:30 – Drew & Mason [2025]: 29:20 – Bergsberg & Hyde [2026]: 36:15 – When Step-Up Orders Are Appropriate 37:30 – Condition-Based Orders, Drug Testing 39:50 –You're Protecting Your Kids, Not Punishing Your Ex 41:00 – The Mediation Phrase 42:30 – How to Answer Pressure Letters 🎧 Episodes
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| Divorce Negotiations Stuck? 10 Ways to Move the Needle | 01 Sep 2026 | 00:49:34 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if… - Your divorce negotiations have stalled and every message gets "no" or no reply at all ⚠️ Legal Disclaimer 🛟 Family Violence Trigger Warning Have your negotiations stalled? In this episode, Mum and I go through 10 practical ways to move the needle when your divorce feels completely stuck in three phases. First, the soften-and-unstick approach: diagnosing why your ex is stalling, repackaging your offer, getting off percentages, and showing them how the settlement will actually happen. Then smart pressure: keeping a live offer on the table, treating terrible offers as data, letting the law do the arguing, and making the maths impossible to ignore. And if none of that works, we show you how to make staying stuck expensive from spousal maintenance to the notice of intention to file, the warning letter Mum describes as "an unblocked drain" for stalled negotiations. No one stays stuck forever and we're here with you every step of the way. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 🎧 Episodes Mentioned 🔗 Links & Resources If this episode helped you find a way to get your stuck divorce moving again, please follow, rate, review, and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others going through the same thing can find this information too. All our best, | |||
| Building Your Divorce Support Team: Who Belongs in Your Corner? | 26 Aug 2026 | 01:04:39 | |
🎧 Listen if you…
This is general information only, not legal advice always consult a lawyer about your circumstances. This episode discusses family violence and coercive control. In danger? Call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732). You can do everything right in your divorce and still be exhausted because of the people standing around you 00:00 – Divorce Support Team: Why the People Around You Matter 02:30 – Why You Never Plan Your Team (But Should) 03:30 – Lyn's Divorce 40 Years Ago: Judgement in a Country Town 04:30 – Your Ex Is Not on Your Support Team 06:00 – Family Members: Who Helps and Who Hurts 08:00 – "Keep It Amicable" Is Code for "Just Give In" 09:30 – When Family Cares More About How It Looks 10:30 – Family Violence: When Family Pressure Becomes Unsafe 11:00 – It's Not Your Job to Explain Coercive Control to Everyone 12:00 – The One Loyal Family Member Who Saw Behind the Mask 13:00 – What to Say to Pressuring Family Members 14:30 – In-Laws: Pausing Even the Good Relationships 17:00 – Enabler In-Laws and When to Distance Fast 19:00 – Family Violence Orders: When Family Contact Breaks the Rules 20:30 – Friends: Who Rolls Up Their Sleeves vs Who Stays "Neutral" 23:00 – Judgy Friends and the Gossip Collectors 25:00 – Screenshots to Your Ex: The Social Media Trap 26:30 – Don't Forget the Fun Friends: Finding Glimmers of Joy 28:30 – Online Support Groups: The Risks Nobody Talks About 30:00 – Commenting Publicly About Your Case: Court Consequences 32:00 – The Tom Holland Rule for Handling Criticism 32:45 – Choosing a Lawyer: What the Right One Looks Like 36:00 – Lawyer Red Flags: Gatekeeping Your Story (Episode 166) 37:00 – Brave Lawyers vs Lawyers Afraid of Court 38:30 – The Three As: Affability, Availability, Ability 39:30 – Why You Need Your Own Psychologist 41:00 – Emotion-Driven Strategy: The Most Expensive Mistake 42:30 – Kids and School: One Contact Person + the Counsellor 45:30 – Church and Faith Communities: Support or Pressure? 49:00 – Your Kids Can't Be on Your Team 50:00 – Bad Podcasts, Reddit and Wrong Information 53:00 – Rapid Fire: Neutral Besties, Slow Lawyers & Nosy Sisters 56:30 – High-Conflict Ex: What Your Team Needs to Be 58:30 – Avoidant Ex: The Friends Who Do the Hard Yakka 59:30 – Manipulative & Controlling Ex: Vetting for Flying Monkeys 1:00:30 – Amicable Split: Why You Still Need a Team 1:01:45 – "It's My Decision": Mum's Cushion Wisdom 🔗 Resources10 Essential Boundaries for a Healthier Divorce (Ep 173) When In-Laws Interfere in Your Divorce (Ep 305) Legal Gatekeeping: Is Your Lawyer Telling Your Full Story? (Ep 166) 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 | Lifeline – 13 11 14 | Police – 000 The Divorce Course – www.thedivorcecourse.com.au If this episode helped you work out who belongs in your corner, please follow, rate, review and share The Divorce Course Podcast. | |||
| 4 Ways to Agree in Divorce or De Facto Separation but Only One Is Legally Binding. | 17 Aug 2026 | 00:45:02 | |
🎧 LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE IF…
⚠️ General information only, not legal advice. Australian family law, and laws may have changed since recording. Always get your own independent legal advice. 🛟 This episode discusses coercive control, post-separation abuse and signing under duress. In danger, call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732. ⏱️ EPISODE TIMELINE00:00 – Is Your Divorce Agreement Actually Legally Binding? 01:00 – Welcome, Legal Disclaimer & Family Violence Warning 02:00 – The Four Ways People Reach an Agreement in Divorce 03:00 – Kitchen Table Agreements: Why They Are Not Enforceable 04:00 – Your Property Pool Is Valued Later, Not at Separation 05:00 – The Lotto Case: Post-Separation Money Is Still Shared 06:30 – You Cannot Split Superannuation Without Court Orders 08:20 – Stamp Duty, Refinancing & the Exemption You Lose 11:00 – No Clean Break: They Can Always Come Back for More 12:00 – Time Limits Keep Running While You Wait 13:40 – What a Kitchen Table Agreement Is Actually Good For 15:00 – Recap: The Six Risks of a Private Divorce Agreement 16:10 – Mediation: Is a Signed Heads of Agreement Binding? 18:40 – Settler's Remorse: Why One in Five Deals Fall Over 20:00 – When Your Ex Uses Mediation to Waste Your Time 21:00 – Why Mediation Feels Official When It Is Not 23:00 – How to Prepare Before You Walk Into Mediation 24:00 – Parenting Plans: Are They Legally Enforceable? 25:00 – What a Judge Actually Does With Your Parenting Plan 26:30 – Parenting Plan or Consent Orders: How to Choose 29:00 – Coerced Into 50/50? Stepped Parenting Plans Explained 31:00 – Pressured to Sign a Plan Before They Move Out 33:30 – Consent Orders: The One Agreement That Is Enforceable 35:20 – Contravention: What Happens If They Breach the Orders 36:40 – The Disclosure Catch That Can Undo Your Consent Orders 38:00 – Why Parenting and Property Orders Stay Separate 39:20 – Rapid Fire: Fraud, Duress & Recorded Conversations 40:40 – Which Agreement Suits Your Divorce Personality Type? 42:40 – Baby Steps: Final Thoughts & Next Steps 🎧 EPISODES MENTIONEDConsent Orders or BFAs: Which Would You Choose? – https://share.google/BNQYdg1fGEoB1cD3l 📚 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODEFarmer & Bramley – the lottery win after separation case Woodland & Todd – the property pool is assessed at the date of hearing Family Law Act 1975 (Cth) s 90 – stamp duty exemption on transfers made under a court order 🔗 LINKS & RESOURCES📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 (24/7 DV support) 📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14 🚓 Police – 000 (immediate danger) 🌐 The Divorce Course – www.thedivorcecourse.com.au 🎓 Blog & Podcast – www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog
If this episode helped you understand what makes an agreement binding, please follow, rate, review and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others going through the same thing can find this information too.
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| Healing After Coercive Control: Getting Yourself Back After Divorce | 12 Aug 2026 | 01:07:41 | |
You left. So why doesn't it feel over yet? 🎧 Listen to this episode if…• You've left, but the healing and closure you expected haven't arrived yet • You can't tell which parts of your anxiety are trauma and which parts are just you • Your body still reacts even though it's been months or years • You're frightened of repeating the pattern with someone new • You're still second-guessing your own judgment and decisions • You want to know where to turn for support and what actually helps Part six, the final episode of our coercive control series, is all about you. Clinical psychologist Krasi Kirova joins Mum and me on the trauma that stays in your body, the window of tolerance and how to widen it, the shark cage, why coercive control has been called a cult of one, and how long recovery really takes. Guest: Krasi Kirova, Clinical Psychologist. ⏱️ Episode Timeline00:00 – Healing After Coercive Control: Getting Yourself Back 02:00 – Disclaimer and Family Violence Trigger Warning 03:00 – "Which Parts Are Trauma and Which Parts Are Me?" 05:00 – What Trauma Really Is: What Happens Inside You 06:00 – Complex Trauma vs One-Off Trauma Explained 08:00 – "My Body Is Still in the Trenches" a Year On 09:00 – The Window of Tolerance and Why Yours Narrowed 11:00 – Calming Your Nervous System in the Moment 12:00 – Widening the Window: Rest, Sleep and Movement 17:00 – Sensory Tools vs Daily Practices: What Helps Most 19:00 – Co-Regulation: Why You Heal Around Safe People 22:00 – "How Do I Trust My Own Judgment Again?" 24:00 – Trust Is Built in Small Increments, Not All at Once 26:00 – How Capable People End Up There More Than Once 28:00 – The Shark Cage: Building Your Own Protection 30:00 – Red Flags and Writing Your Own No-Go List 33:00 – Testing a New Partner and Knowing Your Alarm Bells 37:00 – Krasi's Research Call-Out: Share Your Experience 39:00 – "Will I Ever Understand Why He Did This?" 42:00 – Still Living by Their Rules: Coercive Control as a Cult of One 44:00 – Rebuilding Autonomy and Learning to Tolerate Guilt 48:00 – Untangling Self-Blame and "The Part I Played" 52:00 – How Long Does Recovery Actually Take? 54:00 – Post-Traumatic Growth and What Becomes Possible 59:00 – Where to Turn: Services That Can Actually Help 01:03:00 – Closing the Series and the Cushions 🎧 Episodes MentionedEp 323 – Coercive Control vs a Bad Relationship https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-vs-a-bad-relationship-how-to-tell/id1503451022?i=1000774925805 Ep 324 – Coercive Control Separated Under One Roof https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-while-separated-under-one-roof-how/id1503451022?i=1000775886114 Ep 325 – Financial Abuse and Coercive Control https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/financial-abuse-and-coercive-control-when-money/id1503451022?i=1000776879697 Ep 326 – Coercive Control and Your Kids https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-and-your-kids-how-to-protect-your/id1503451022?i=1000777679728 Ep 330 – How Do I Prove Coercive Control? https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/how-do-i-prove-coercive-control-the-evidence-that/id1503451022?i=1000779988943 Ep 216 – The Post-Divorce Glow-Up https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-post-divorce-glow-up-steps-to-emotional-recovery/id1503451022?i=1000731905804 Ep 322 – Survival Mode in Divorce: 3 Anchors https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/survival-mode-in-divorce-3-anchors-to-steady-yourself/id1503451022?i=1000773944015 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au | 🎓 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog Krasi's research survey: https://jtwqtij4vdy.typeform.com/to/bjpm4Gy2 The Body Keeps the Score (Bessel van der Kolk) | The Shark Cage (Ursula Benstead) | Emma Katz research | EMDR If this episode helped, please follow, rate, review and share The Divorce Course Podcast. | |||
| Property or Parenting First? Does the Order Actually Matter in Divorce Negotiations? | 11 Aug 2026 | 00:51:12 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if… • Your ex has said they will not discuss money until parenting is agreed • You are not sure whether to sort property or parenting first, or both together • You are separated under one roof and nothing is moving • You have been handed an offer with a 24-hour deadline and it feels like pressure • Your ex has suddenly started pushing hard for 50/50 after showing little interest • You are heading into mediation and want to know what to do if they ambush you ⚠️ Disclaimer & SupportGeneral information only, not legal advice. Australian family law. Always get advice about your own situation. This episode discusses coercive control and financial abuse. In danger, call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732. Lifeline 13 11 14. Episode Summary"I am not discussing property until parenting is sorted." It sounds like a rule. It is not. Mum and I unpack whether the order matters, where property and parenting really overlap, the time limits you cannot miss, and the eight stalling tactics we are seeing right now – the hostage swap, the circle walk, the 50/50 care play, the disclosure drip, the attrition strategy, the mediation ambush, the generosity trap and weaponised urgency. Plus the interim property distribution most self-represented people have never heard of. ⏱️ Episode Timeline00:00 – Property or Parenting First? Why Your Ex Wants to Control the Order 02:00 – Where Property and Parenting Actually Collide 04:00 – Why Some Exes Insist on Parenting First 06:00 – When Stalling Becomes Coercive Control and Economic Abuse 07:00 – Property Time Limits: De Facto vs Married Explained 09:00 – Can You Run Property and Parenting Together? Yes 11:00 – Mediation, 60I Certificates and Doing Both at Once 12:00 – Is There Any Good Reason to Keep Them Separate? 15:00 – "Who Died and Made Them Boss?" Taking Back Control 17:00 – Dirty Trick 1: The Hostage Swap 18:00 – The Line That Shuts It Down: "That's Not the Law" 20:00 – The Power Imbalance Test You Can Do Today 22:00 – Dirty Trick 2: The Circle Walk 23:00 – Interim Property Distribution: The Real Circuit Breaker 26:00 – Dirty Trick 3: The 50/50 Care Play 29:00 – Dirty Trick 4: The Disclosure Drip and Section 71B 31:00 – Dirty Trick 5: The Attrition Strategy and Wearing You Down 34:00 – Dirty Trick 6: The Mediation Ambush 36:00 – Filing in Court: Why the Registrar Changes Everything 38:00 – Dirty Trick 7: The Generosity Trap 40:00 – Dirty Trick 8: Weaponised Urgency and Fake Deadlines 42:00 – Sequencing by Personality Type: Which Order Suits Which Ex 44:00 – Rapid Fire: Your Biggest Property and Parenting Questions 47:00 – Rapid Fire for People Already in Court 50:00 – The Double-Sided Cushion: Your Two Sticky Notes 🎧 Episodes MentionedEpisode 213 – The Hidden Connection: Custody Battles & Property Splits in Divorce https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/the-hidden-connection-custody-battles-property-splits/id1503451022?i=1000728151220 Episode 191 – What Your Lawyer Might Forget to Tell You: Unlocking Funds Before Property Settlement Is Final https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/what-your-lawyer-might-forget-to-tell-you-unlocking/id1503451022?i=1000702792838 Episode 218 – Business Tricks in Divorce: 10 Sneaky Tactics to Watch Out For and Outsmart https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/business-tricks-in-divorce-10-sneaky-tactics-to-watch/id1503451022?i=1000733969897 Links & Resources🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au | 🎓 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog Family Law Act 1975 – s 60CC, s 71B, s 79 | Federal Circuit and Family Court – www.fcfcoa.gov.au If this episode helped, please follow, rate, review and share The Divorce Course Podcast. All our best, Laura & Lyn Your Guides By Your Side Co-Hosts of THE DIVORCE COURSE PODCAST | |||
| How Do I Prove Coercive Control? The Evidence That Actually Counts | 05 Aug 2026 | 01:13:28 | |
You know it was abuse. But written down, each moment sounds small. This is the episode about proving it. Part 5 of our six-part coercive control series with clinical psychologist Krasi Kirova. Mum and I work through your questions on affidavits, evidence, police reports and what the family court is actually looking for. LISTEN IF YOU... - Have kept notes for a year and worry they sound petty - Have been told by a lawyer that coercive control does not matter - Reported to police and were dismissed because there was no stalking or tracking - Are writing an affidavit and do not know what to include - Are still being controlled through emails, handovers and admin after final orders - Are terrified of going back to court This is general information, not legal or psychological advice. It reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your situation. Always get independent advice. This episode discusses coercive control, family violence, financial abuse and sexual betrayal. If you are in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732. 00:00 - Explaining Coercive Control When No One Believes You 01:00 - Series Recap and Meet Clinical Psychologist Krasi Kirova 02:30 - Legal Disclaimer and Family Violence Trigger Warning 03:50 - Stacy: How Do I Make My Notes Matter in Court? 06:00 - Why Each Incident Sounds Petty: The Puzzle Piece Problem 07:00 - Death by a Thousand Cuts: Proving Cumulative Harm 09:30 - When the Judge Spots the Pattern Themselves 10:30 - What Courts Look For: Coercive Control and the Property Pool 14:00 - Your Affidavit Is the Proof, So You Have to Say It 14:20 - Anonymous: Should Infidelity Go in My Affidavit? 18:00 - DARVO Explained: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender 19:00 - Win: Can I Use Voice Memos and Home Security Footage? 21:40 - Legal Gatekeeping: When Your Lawyer Says It Does Not Matter 26:00 - How to Change Lawyers Mid-Case Without the Confrontation 28:00 - Katina: The Police Dismissed My Coercive Control Report 30:00 - The Empower You App and Finding a Station That Listens 33:20 - Roberta: Protection Orders When He Explains Everything Away 35:00 - Why Criminal, DV and Family Courts Do Not Talk to Each Other 37:00 - Samantha: Post-Separation Control After Final Orders 41:40 - Grey Rock, Escalation and When to Get a Risk Assessment 43:30 - Coercive Control Versus Ordinary Co-Parenting Conflict 46:30 - Admin Burden as Control: Fix It in Your Parenting Orders 50:00 - Jenna: When His Lawyer Becomes the Mouthpiece 54:00 - Lee: Fear of Court and a Teenager Who Will Not Visit 58:00 - Court Fear Is the Last Hook They Have Left 01:00:00 - Gina: What Evidence Is Actually Enough? 01:02:00 - Thresholds: Therapist Versus Police Versus Family Court 01:04:00 - The Marathon Analogy: Kicked, Then Blamed for Slowing Down 01:06:00 - Never Stop Documenting Until the Behaviour Stops 01:12:00 - The Magistrate Who Knew What Coercive Control Was 01:14:30 - Krasi's Conference Talk and Next Week: Healing EPISODES MENTIONED DARVO in the Family Court - https://youtu.be/pRMOfozwBKs?si=-YgsXkz8ybMB_lkr Documenting Coercive Control - https://youtu.be/SIyXCGXH5nw?si=SY_8UNT5puZ7Uj_F Reporting to Police, Step by Step - https://youtu.be/s7vH5a9y7cA?si=sm1ReJaVxsvqKlNS 1800 RESPECT - 1800 737 732 (24/7 DV support) Lifeline - 13 11 14 Police - 000 (immediate danger) The Divorce Course - www.thedivorcecourse.com.au The Divorce Course Podcast - www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog Empower You app - free documentation app run by NSW Police Krasi Kirova - clinical psychologist and board-approved supervisor Share your experience anonymously for Krasi's conference talk: [LINK] If this episode helped you understand how to prove coercive control, please follow, rate, review and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others going through the same thing can find this information too. | |||
| Navigating the Family Home in Separation | 04 Aug 2026 | 01:01:03 | |
Are you about to separate and have absolutely no idea what happens to the house? Do you keep it? Do you sell it? Do you have to be the one who leaves? And what happens to the mortgage? 🎧 Listen to this episode if… - You don't know whether you can keep the house or have to sell it, The mortgage is in both names and you're panicking about who pays it, You've been told that if you move out, you lose your claim to the house, Your ex is stalling, sabotaging the sale, or refusing to sign anything, You want to keep the kids in the same home and the same school, You're heading into mediation and need to know your options ⚠️ not legal advice. This reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your situation. Always get independent legal advice. Discussions of financial and economic abuse. If you're in danger, call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732. 00:00 – What Happens to the House When You Separate? 01:10 – Net Equity Explained: What the House Is Really Worth 02:05 – No Special Rule Book, With One Exception: Housing the Children 03:45 – Does Someone Have to Move Out to Be Separated? 05:05 – Myth Busted: Moving Out Doesn't Lose You the House 06:20 – When Your Ex Runs the House Down Before the Valuation 07:10 – Who Pays the Mortgage? Spousal Maintenance Explained 09:30 – Financial Abuse and Section 4AB of the Family Law Act 09:55 – Do You Have to Sell the House If You Separate? 10:45 – Working Out What the House Is Actually Worth 12:10 – How Assets Get Balanced: The Caravan Example 13:15 – Your Options: Keep It, Sell It, or Hold It Jointly 14:35 – Falling Prices, Negative Equity and Bidding at Auction 16:50 – Keeping the House: The Step-by-Step Process 17:20 – Why the Order Comes First: The Stamp Duty Exemption 19:20 – How to Work Out the Buyout Figure 21:30 – Can You Actually Afford It? See a Mortgage Broker 23:15 – Why Every Consent Order Needs a Backup Plan 24:50 – Kids and the House: Does It Give You an Edge? 26:20 – Expensive Suburbs, School Catchments and Staying Put 28:35 – The Tarzan Principle: Getting to the Next House 31:40 – Should You Buy a New House Before Settlement? 34:20 – Selling Together When You Can Barely Speak 35:25 – Staging, "Sold As Is" and Missing Kitchens 38:10 – Choosing a Real Estate Agent You Both Agree On 39:25 – Court Orders to Sell and Holding Funds in Trust 42:25 – When Your Ex Sabotages the Sale 47:40 – The High-Conflict Ex and the House 49:15 – The Avoidant Ex and Avoidant-Proof Orders 51:20 – The Manipulative Ex and Delay Tactics 52:50 – Amicable? Don't Rely on a Handshake 54:40 – Don't Let Buyers Know It's a Divorce Sale 55:55 – When Your Ex Won't Sign: Section 106A Explained 57:20 – What It Costs to Go to Court Over the House 59:00 – A Home Is Just a House: The Emotional Side 🎧 EPISODES MENTIONED What Happens With the Mortgage https://youtu.be/8yNEHlHC-JE?si=hCyc9PcxW3BbTUDd Inheritances https://youtu.be/FKK6NIU4sEk?si=oAOCl-INyhnvO_M0 I Really Want to Keep the House https://youtu.be/sblG_qVXhG4?si=ydHgafJTRDRr6g74 Selling the House https://youtu.be/kd9MUMeKaKQ?si=dTTugpHus_6Qe7oF 📖 FULL SHOW NOTES, including every case, section and resource mentioned in this episode: www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 (24/7) 📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14 🚓 Police – 000 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au Family Law Act 1975 – s79(5) and s90SM (housing the children), s4AB (family violence and economic abuse), s90 (stamp duty relief), s106A (registrar signing documents). If this episode helped you please follow, rate, review, and share so others going through the same thing can find this information too. | |||
| Neurodivergent Kids & Divorce | 28 Jul 2026 | 00:58:13 | |
🎧 LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE IF… • You're parenting a child with autism, ADHD or suspected neurodivergence through a separation • You don't know how to tell a literal thinker that their parents are splitting up • Changeover is falling apart and your child refuses to go to the other house • Your ex denies the diagnosis, blocks therapy, or says "they're perfect at my place" • You need the court to understand what your child's daily needs actually look like • You're heading into a family report and you're dreading it • You're burnt out, doing all the appointments, and wondering if you've ruined your child Does the family court actually consider your child's neurodivergence when making parenting orders? What happens when your ex tells the lawyer your child doesn't have special needs at all? And can week-about ever work for a child who falls apart at every changeover? In this episode, Mum and I are joined by Amanda Lee – an autistic mum of autistic daughters, a qualified Montessori educator, parenting coach and registered counsellor who has also been through the family court herself. Amanda works with neurodiverse families navigating burnout, relationship breakdown and separation, and she brings both the qualifications and the lived experience. ⏱️ EPISODE TIMELINE 00:00 – Neurodivergent Kids and Divorce: What You Need to Know 01:01 – Meet Amanda Lee: Autistic Mum, Counsellor and Parenting Coach 03:22 – What's Actually Different for a Neurodivergent Child? 04:56 – Does the Family Court Need a Formal Diagnosis? 06:17 – How to Tell a Neurodivergent Child You're Separating 10:09 – Warning Signs Your Child Isn't Coping After Separation 13:59 – You Haven't Ruined Your Child: The Skills They're Building 14:32 – Documenting Your Child's Behaviour for the Family Court 15:27 – Transitions and Two Homes: Making Changeover Easier 20:04 – One Safe Person, One Safe Place: How to Parallel Parent 22:06 – When Your Child Refuses to Go to the Other House 22:58 – How to Write Observations That Hold Up as Evidence 26:00 – Free Checklists at The Divorce Course 27:09 – When Your Ex Won't Take the Kids to Therapy or OT 28:00 – The Ex Who Denies the Diagnosis: Talk About Behaviour Instead 30:24 – Masking, the Fawn Response and "Perfect at Dad's" 33:08 – Telling the School and Building Your Support Team 36:24 – "Therapeutic Purposes Only" Counselling Orders Explained 37:07 – How the Family Court Considers Neurodiversity 38:15 – NDIS Plans, Affidavits and a Day in the Life 40:02 – Choosing a Family Report Writer Who Gets Neurodivergence 41:00 – Preparing Your Child for the Family Report Interview 44:10 – Coaching Accusations and How to Avoid Them 46:15 – When Parents Can't Agree on Medical or Therapy Decisions 49:04 – Therapy Costs, Property Settlement and Child Support 51:05 – Support After 18: Adult Child Maintenance Explained 53:06 – Parental Burnout and the "Good Enough Parent" Standard 56:49 – Where to Find Amanda Lee
🎧 EPISODES MENTIONED • At What Age Can Children Decide Where They Live? –https://youtu.be/hUCh0Nzw0wM?si=3jLmbSGESM3ziQYq • What Is a Family Report? What to Expect on the Day –https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/family-reports-in-your-divorce/id1503451022?i=1000475552908 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Amanda Lee – Amanda Lee Consulting – amandaleeconsulting.com | Amanda Lee Consulting on Facebook & Instagram Understanding Zoe app – shared practitioner notes for your child's support team (may be fundable through NDIS) Teeny Tiny Stevies – ABC Kids / ABC iview (the goodbye-song idea) Videos for children about the family court – fcfcoa.gov.au Family Law Act 1975 (Cth) s 60CC – best interests of the child Family Law Amendment Act 2023 – parental responsibility and joint decision-making changes, in force May 2024 Services Australia – Child Support change of assessment (special circumstances) NDIS – ndis.gov.au
LINKS & RESOURCES 🌐 The Divorce Course – www.thedivorcecourse.com.au 🎓 The Divorce Course Podcast – www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog ✅ Free checklists (mediation, disclosure, word salad, read a letter like a pro, before you go) – free resources section at www.thedivorcecourse.com.au
SUPPORT 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 (24/7 DV support) 📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14 🚓 Police – 000 (immediate danger)
🛟 Content warning: this episode touches on high-conflict separation, post-separation abuse, and parents who deny a child's needs.
⚠️ This podcast is general information only – it is not legal advice. The content reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your situation or jurisdiction. Always consult a qualified family lawyer about your individual circumstances. Laws may have changed since this episode was recorded.
If this episode helped you feel less alone in parenting a neurodivergent child through separation, please follow, rate, review and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others going through the same thing can find this information too. All our best, Laura & Lyn Your Guides By Your Side Co-Hosts of THE DIVORCE COURSE PODCAST | |||
| Big or Small Property Pool? How Size Changes Your Divorce Settlement | 22 Jul 2026 | 00:27:56 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if… • You've been told your property pool is "too big" or "too small" to bother negotiating • You're weighing up whether to accept an offer or go to court, and it doesn't feel fair • You're a stay-at-home parent worried about how you'll manage on a small settlement • Your ex keeps saying "just go get a job" and you don't know if the court sees it that way • You're stuck arguing over a percentage and not sure if the fight is worth the cost • You want to understand future needs adjustments before you sit down at mediation ⚠️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is general information only – it is not legal advice. The content reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your specific situation or jurisdiction (some rules differ in WA). Always consult a qualified family lawyer about your individual circumstances. Laws may have changed since this episode was recorded. Episode Summary You may have been told that because your property pool is very big, or very small, the usual rules don't apply to you. Maybe you're trying to decide whether to accept an offer that doesn't feel fair, or whether it's even worth going to court at all. This one's for you. Mum and I unpack how the size of your property pool changes the way settlement negotiations and decisions play out. The family law framework is always the same – the four steps a court works through don't move – but two of those steps, current and future circumstances (what we used to call "future needs") and that final just-and-equitable check, can look very different depending on whether you're splitting five million or fifty thousand. We talk through why big pools often see smaller future-needs adjustments (because there's plenty to go around), why small pools can see much larger ones (because every dollar counts), and the one habit that will save you years of stress: stop arguing over percentages and start looking at what those percentages are actually worth in real dollars. Mum also explains the Priority Property Pool 500 (PPP500) court track for smaller matters, why superannuation isn't the same as cash in your hand, and why drawing that legal line under your relationship matters even when there's "hardly anything" to divide. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – Big or Small Property Pool? Why It Matters 01:00 – The Legal Disclaimer & What Stays the Same for Everyone 01:20 – The Four Steps: What Never Changes in a Settlement 02:00 – What Counts as a Large Property Pool? 02:40 – Big Pools: Why Future Needs Adjustments Shrink 04:40 – Standard of Living: What the Court Will and Won't Do 06:30 – Small Pools: Why Adjustments Can Be Much Bigger 07:30 – Percentages vs Real Dollars: The Mindset Shift 09:00 – Is That 10% Worth Going to Court For? 12:20 – Don't Forget Superannuation vs Cash 14:00 – Stay-at-Home Parents, Earning Capacity & Retraining 17:20 – "Is a Small Pool Even Worth It?" The Myth 18:30 – Why Drawing a Legal Line Protects Your Future 21:40 – The Priority Property Pool 500 (PPP500) Explained 23:30 – Normal-Sized Pools: Follow the Usual Rules 25:50 – Show Me the Money: Look at Dollars, Not Percentages 26:40 – You Are Capable: A Message of Hope
1. Should I Settle or Go to Court? (10 Questions to Ask Yourself) Referenced when discussing how to decide whether the fight is worth it. 2. Property: Why You Shouldn't Negotiate Percentages Referenced when discussing arguing over what "50/50" actually means in dollars. 📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 (24/7 DV support) 📞 Lifeline — 13 11 14 🚓 Police — 000 (immediate danger) 🌐 The Divorce Course — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au 🎓 The Divorce Course Podcast — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog • Priority Property Pool 500 (PPP500) — the streamlined court track for matters with net assets under $500,000 (excluding super). Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia: https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au • Family Law Act 1975 – s 79 (property, married) / s 90SM (de facto): https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s79.html | |||
| Coercive Control and Your Kids: How to Protect Your Children From a Coercively Controlling Co-Parent | 21 Jul 2026 | 01:19:42 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if… - You've left a coercively controlling relationship and your biggest fear is what it will do to your kids - You're wondering why your children can't see the abuse, or seem to side with the controlling parent - Your ex uses the kids as messengers or feeds them misinformation - You're worried about being accused of "parental alienation" for parenting differently - You're navigating parenting plans, orders or supervised time with a high-conflict ex ⚠️ This podcast is general information only not legal advice. Australian family law discussed. Always consult a qualified family lawyer. 🛟 This episode discusses coercive control and family violence. In danger? Call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14. In Part 4 of our Coercive Control Series, Laura and Lyn are joined by clinical psychologist Krasi Kirova to answer your questions about coercive control, children and co-parenting. Plus the legal side – affidavits, family reports, Section 61DAB, loophole-proof orders, whether the court listens to a 14-year-old, and why supervised time working isn't a reason to rush to unsupervised. ⏱️ CHAPTERS 00:00 – Coercive Control and Kids: Every Parent's Biggest Fear 02:00 – How Coercive Control Affects Children (Including Adult Children) 04:00 – Research: Coercive Control Harms Kids Like Physical Violence 08:00 – Why Children Can't See the Abuse: The Loyalty Bind 10:00 – Does the Family Court Recognise the Impact on Children? 11:00 – The Problem With Family Reports 13:00 – Naming Coercive Control in Your Affidavit 14:00 – When Kids Are Used as Messengers 15:00 – Why Protective Parenting Is Double Duty 18:00 – Dr Emma Katz: Build the Opposite of the Coercive Regime 21:00 – Teaching Kids Emotion Regulation and Assertiveness 24:00 – Why Normal Co-Parenting Advice Doesn't Apply Here 26:00 – Making Your Home Non-Porous 27:00 – Alienation Accusations vs Parenting Differently 29:00 – Bombarding Messages: Why You Can Ignore Them 31:00 – Section 61DAB: Your Day-to-Day Parenting Decisions 32:00 – Manipulation and Misinformation: Correcting the Record 37:00 – The "Adult Matters" Myth in Family Court 38:00 – When Kids Side With the Controlling Parent 43:00 – How to Tell the Kids You're Divorcing 48:00 – Best Books to Help Children Through Coercive Control 52:00 – Krasi's Message to Every Protective Parent 55:00 – Helping Kids Heal When They Won't Open Up 60:00 – Parenting Plans With a Narcissistic Ex: 50/50 Traps 62:00 – Loophole-Proof Orders: Why "As Agreed" Needs a Default 65:00 – Will the Court Listen to a 14-Year-Old? 67:00 – Parental Alienation: What the UN Report Says 69:00 – The Gillick Test: Teens Accessing Psychological Support 70:00 – Sudden 50/50 Demands and Recording Phone Calls 72:00 – Supervised Time: Why Good Behaviour Isn't Evidence 🎧 EPISODES MENTIONED Part 1 – Coercive Control vs a Bad Relationship: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Blmekx03XEJIzshzS3glJ Part 2 – Coercive Control While Separated Under One Roof https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1503451022?i=1000775886114 Part 3 – Financial Abuse and Coercive Control: When Money Becomes the Weapon https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1503451022?i=1000776879697 The Parenting Order Loopholes Your Ex Will Exploit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBZYy44FhPY Can Kids Decide Where They Live? How Children's Wishes Count https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1503451022?i=1000771958744 🔗 RESOURCES Krasi Kirova, Clinical Psychologist – https://kirovapsychology.com.au Krasi's feedback form for survivors – https://jtwqtij4vdy.typeform.com/to/bjpm4Gy2 Books: The Big Bag of Worries | Every Moment of Every Day (Christine Cuccio) | The Sky Is Red and My Boundary Balloons (Tyra Schwartz) | I Can (Natasha Harris) Family Law Act 1975 – s60CC and s61DAB 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au | |||
| Financial Abuse and Coercive Control: When Money Becomes the Weapon | 15 Jul 2026 | 01:08:53 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if…
⚠️ Legal Disclaimer 🛟 Family Violence Trigger Warning Lyn a Family Lawyer and I are joined again by clinical psychologist Krasi Kirova to answer your questions about financial abuse the part of coercive control that hides inside bank accounts, businesses, superannuation and settlement negotiations. Krasi breaks down the three faces of economic abuse – control, employment sabotage and economic exploitation – and Mum covers what Section 4AB of the Family Law Act actually says, what evidence courts look for when the abuse happened behind closed doors, and how to find the courage to name it. 00:00 – Financial Abuse and Coercive Control: Was It Really Abuse? 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 (24/7 DV support) | |||
| Coercive Control While Separated Under One Roof: How to Survive It Part 2 | 07 Jul 2026 | 00:49:16 | |
Coercive Control While Separated Under One Roof: How to Survive It | The Divorce Course Podcast (Part 2) 🎧 LISTEN IF YOU… • Are separated but still stuck under one roof • Were told you "can't leave" without a parenting plan • Suspect you're being watched through cameras, phone or car • Are scared to move money or make a move • Want to plan a safe exit and set real boundaries ⚠️ General education only — not legal or psychological advice. Discusses coercive control, financial & tech abuse. In danger, call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14. Part 2 of our six-part coercive control series with clinical psychologist Krasi Kirova and Family Law Specialist Lyn Galvin, all about surviving it while you're still in it. 00:00 – Separated but Stuck Under One Roof: You're Not Alone 01:00 – Six-Part Series, Guest Krasi Kirova & How to Send Questions 02:00 – Meet Krasi Kirova & Lyn Galvin 03:00 – Legal & Family Violence Disclaimer 04:00 – Does Coercive Control Continue After Separation? (Sally's Question) 05:00 – The Three Ds: Disrespect, Disempowerment, Distortion 06:00 – Why They Won't Move Out — The New Under-One-Roof Tactic 07:00 – Is Separation Under One Roof Required? Davis & Davis (Sarah's Question) 08:00 – "Can You Make Them Leave?" + When Your Ex Makes Up the Law 10:00 – DARVO Explained + Why Placating Doesn't Work (Nini's Question) 12:00 – How to Prove Escalating Abuse + Judges Are Trained 13:00 – Chronologies as Evidence + The Three-Year "Separation" Trap (Anonymous) 15:00 – The Stuck Feeling Is Entrapment — You Can Leave Without a Plan 17:00 – Cameras, Doorbells & Surveillance In Your Own Home (Loans' Question) 19:00 – Tech-Facilitated Abuse: 70% Is Everyday Tech + The Omnipresence Effect 20:00 – Is My Car Being Tracked? AirTags, Apps & What to Do (Marie's Question) 22:00 – Removing Tech Safely: Order Matters, Sweepers & Bluetooth 24:00 – When Your Ex Uses the Kids to Spy (She Bear's Question) 26:00 – Talking to Your Child About Privacy + Family Reports 28:00 – Krasi's Call-Out: Share Your Voice for the Psychology Conference 31:00 – Moving Money Without Awakening the Bear (JT's Question) 33:00 – Getting Your Ducks in a Row: The Safest Way to Leave 36:00 – 21 Years In — How Do I Announce I'm Leaving? (Tash's Question) 37:00 – The Shark Analogy: Why "Nicely" Doesn't Change the Reaction 38:00 – "You Moved Money Without My Consent" — Financial Control (Jessie's Question) 40:00 – Boundaries vs Buffers: Why Boundaries Can Backfire (Anonymous) 44:00 – Parenting Apps, Grey Rocking & the Three Anchors 45:00 – Legal Abuse, Comeuppance & the 14% Uplift Case 46:00 – Intervention Orders + A House-Sharing Idea for the Stuck 🎧 EPISODES MENTIONED Can You Make Them Leave? — https://youtu.be/_XAG5c1hOkU Tech-Facilitated Abuse (WESNET SafetyNet Australia) — https://youtu.be/rc8b27R_k9k The Three Anchors with Sonia Bestulic — https://youtu.be/aHULu7ffPj4 Capturing Coercive Control in an Affidavit — https://youtu.be/SIyXCGXH5nw 🔗 RESOURCES 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732 | Lifeline 13 11 14 | Police 000 The Divorce Course — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au Free Before-You-Go Checklist & Tech App Worksheet — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au Share your voice for Krasi's conference (anonymous) — https://jtwqtij4vdy.typeform.com/to/bjpm4Gy2 Tech safety — https://techsafety.org.au Davis & Davis [1984] — the case confirming it's unreasonable to expect separated people to live under one roof If this episode helped you, please follow, rate, review and share so others stuck under one roof can find it too. Next week: Coercive Control & Financial Abuse. | |||
| Coercive Control vs a Bad Relationship: How to Tell the Difference | 30 Jun 2026 | 01:00:51 | |
Listen to this episode if…
This is general education – not legal advice or a psychological diagnosis. It discusses coercive control and abuse. If you're in danger, call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732 | Lifeline 13 11 14. Episode Summary"Is it me, or are they controlling?" That question ran under almost every message you sent in – so we turned it into a six-part series, and this is Part 1. Laura and Lyn are joined by clinical psychologist Krasi Kirova to answer the one nearly everyone asked: is this really coercive control? Krasi shares her three Ds (disrespect, disempowerment, distortion), explains why coercive control is a pattern and a function rather than a list of behaviours, and how good qualities like compromise and empathy get weaponised. Lyn explains how family law treats coercive control differently from the criminal courts. 00:00 – Is It Me, or Are They Controlling? 03:30 – What Best Illustrates Coercive Control? 04:30 – The Restaurant Metaphor: Pattern, Not a Checklist 06:00 – The 3 Ds: Disrespect, Disempowerment, Distortion 07:30 – Psychology vs Family Law: Section 4AB 09:00 – Family Court vs Criminal Court: Different Tests 10:00 – When You Lose Sight of What's Reasonable 12:00 – How Compromise & Empathy Get Weaponised 13:00 – When Your Ex Wasn't As "Extreme" as the Examples 16:00 – Is Anger & Yelling Coercive Control? 18:00 – Can It Exist Without Financial Control? 19:00 – Repeated Pressure & Monopolised Decisions ( 22:00 – Stonewalling, Delay & Deflection 25:30 – The PA Dynamic & Exploitation 28:00 – Needy or Controlling? How to Tell the Difference 30:00 – Blame-Shifting, DARVO & Perspecticide 33:00 – Infidelity, Guilt & Trying to Leave 39:00 – Silent Treatment as Punishment 43:00 – Why He Does Less When You're Sick 45:00 – Emotional Abuse vs Coercive Control 47:30 – Can the Main Breadwinner Be Controlled? 53:00 – Why Do They Do It? Can Survivors Heal? 58:00 – The Anxious, Controlling Attachment Style & Have Your Say – Krasi's Conference Call-Out📌 Have your say: Krasi is presenting on coercive control at the Australian National Psychology Conference. Share what you wish psychologists and therapists understood – anonymously, with optional audio. Link in the show notes. Entry form https://jtwqtij4vdy.typeform.com/to/bjpm4Gy2 ResourcesThe 3 Ds of Coercive Control – the deep-dive episode with Krasi.https://youtu.be/bRmLZBRs--o?si=YZ1951oDofDe_lw7
If this helped you start to name what you've been living, please follow, rate, review and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others going through the same thing can find it too. | |||
| Survival Mode in Divorce: 3 Anchors to Steady Yourself | 22 Jun 2026 | 00:51:06 | |
Listen to this episode if…
This podcast is general information only it is not legal advice. This episode touches on coercive control and post-separation abuse. If you or someone you know is in danger, call 000. For confidential support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732). If you're feeling stuck in survival mode reacting to every email, every legal letter, every move your ex makes this episode is the deep breath you've been needing. Laura is joined by Sonia Bestulic, award-winning author, speaker and wisdom teacher, whose book Flourish for Mums found Laura right in the middle of her own divorce. Together they unpack what survival mode actually is, why so many of us get stuck in it, and how to gently move out of it. 00:00 – Are You Stuck in Survival Mode During Your Divorce? 01:00 – Meet Sonia Bestulic: Author, Speaker & Wisdom Teacher 03:50 – "I Just Burnt Out": How Survival Mode Shows Up 05:30 – Why Your Mindset Can Affect Your Case as Much as the Law 07:00 – What Survival Mode Really Is (Fight, Flight, Freeze) 08:00 – The Lion Metaphor: A Fuel System Built for Short Bursts 09:30 – The Warning Signs You've Been in Survival Mode Too Long 10:50 – When Post-Separation Abuse Is Designed to Exhaust You 11:40 – The Three Anchors & Building Your Support Team 12:40 – Anchor One: Nourishing Your Intuition (Your Sacred GPS) 14:50 – Coercive Control & Learning to Trust Yourself Again 15:40 – The Morning Body Scan: 15 Minutes That Reset Your Day 18:30 – How to Tell the Difference Between Fear and Intuition 21:30 – Anchor Two: Energetic Integrity & Energy Hygiene 23:30 – Inner Boundaries: What's Mine to Carry and What's Theirs? 25:30 – Choosing When to Read That Email From Your Ex 26:40 – The Power of Nature to Recalibrate Your Nervous System 28:50 – Gratitude: The Highest-Frequency Circuit Breaker 30:00 – The Gratitude Candle & the Kindness Squirrel 32:50 – Anchor Three: Sacred Self-Advocacy 34:50 – Speaking Your Truth Without the Fight Energy 36:40 – Why Energy Speaks First (Even in the Witness Box) 40:40 – Daily Practices: Dance, Laughter, Music & Breath 43:50 – The Cup of Gratitude Ritual 45:40 – The Roots Metaphor: The Deeper the Roots, the Taller We Grow 48:40 – The One Thing You Can Start Today 49:50 – Where to Find Sonia & Her Books
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| 7 Banking Myths That Are Costing You in Separation | 17 Jun 2026 | 00:55:17 | |
🎧 Listen if… Disclaimer: General information and education only, not legal advice. Please consult a family lawyer about your situation.
⏱️ CHAPTERS 🎧 EPISODES
Helped you feel less stuck about your money? Follow, rate, review and share so others can find it too. All our best, | |||
| Can Kids Decide Where They Live After Separation? How Children's Wishes Actually Count in Family Law | 10 Jun 2026 | 00:55:12 | |
🎧 Listen If…
General information only not legal advice. Always consult a qualified family lawyer about your situation.🛟 Discusses family violence & coercive control. In danger: 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14. About This Episode Mum and I unpack what the Family Law Act actually how children's views really reach a judge (family reports, child impact reports, ICLs), and how kids' wishes play out across the four divorce personality types. ⏱️ Timeline 00:00 Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live With? 02:00 Why the Family Court Won't Ask Kids to Choose 06:27 The Best Interests of the Child Test (Section 60CC) 09:06 What Age Can a Child Decide Where to Live? 11:34 How a Child's Wishes Are Actually Heard in Family Law 13:25 Child-Inclusive Mediation Explained 15:22 Therapy, Family Reports & Expert Evidence 19:48 How to Get a Family Report Outside of Court 22:35 How Family Violence Changes Parenting Decisions 27:22 2024 Family Law Reforms & Common Custody Myths 28:29 Can You Force a Teenager to Follow Parenting Orders? 31:58 The Reality of Enforcing Orders With Teens 33:03 How to Future-Proof Your Parenting Orders 34:03 Why Older Teens Have More Say in Where They Live 34:35 The Manipulative & Controlling Ex: Hidden Motives 36:42 How to Spot Coercion & Coaching Tactics 39:04 Love Bombing, Bribery & When the Mask Slips 41:54 High-Conflict Exes: Kids Caught in the Middle 45:20 The Avoidant Parent & Parentification 49:02 Amicable Co-Parents: Why You Still Shouldn't Let Kids Decide 51:07 Key Takeaways: Voice Heard, Not Decision Made 54:43 Closing Notes & Legal Disclaimer 🎧 Episodes Mentioned
Support & Resources 📞 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732 | Lifeline 13 11 14 | Police 000 The Divorce Course → https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au If this helped, please follow, rate, review and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others can find it too. All our best, Laura & Lyn – Your Guides By Your Side | |||
| When & How Can You Make a Settlement Offer in Divorce for Parenting or Property - Step by Step | 03 Jun 2026 | 00:55:45 | |
🎧 Listen if you're wondering when you can make an offer, you've received one that floored you, you feel pressured to "be the reasonable one," your ex is high-conflict or controlling, or you've been told you have to go to mediation first. ⚠️ General information only, not legal advice Australian family law. Always consult a family lawyer. 🛟 Discusses coercive control & legal/financial abuse. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732). ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – What Is an Offer in a Divorce? 01:50 – What an Offer Really Is (and What Counteroffers Are) 02:30 – Do You Need a Lawyer to Make an Offer? 03:30 – Why Emotional, People-Pleasing Offers Backfire 04:30 – What You Need Before You Make an Offer: Your Property Pool 05:00 – Future Needs, Super vs Cash 06:00 – Knowing What You're Giving Up With Eyes Wide Open 07:00 – Rushed & Blindsided Offers: 08:00 – Buying Time Before You Agree 09:00 – Can You Get Out of Something You Signed Under Pressure? 10:30 – When Can You Make an Offer? Anytime You're Informed 12:30 – The Best Time to Make Your First Offer & Saving Legal Fees 13:50 – The Mediation Myth: You Don't Have to Go 15:40 – Why People Only Get Realistic at Mediation 17:00 – Time-Limited Offers: Pressure, Deadlines & the Downside 20:00 – Standing Offers: 22:00 – Do Offers Work in Parenting 24:30 – Calderbank Offers & Section 114UB Explained 25:50 – Offer Strategy for an Avoidant Ex 28:30 – Offer Strategy for a High-Conflict "Yeah, But" Ex 31:20 – Offer Strategy for an Amicable Ex & Collaborative Law 36:20 – Can You Offer Directly to Your Ex While Lawyers Are Engaged? 37:00 – Making Offers to a Narcissistic or Controlling Ex 39:00 – Don't Feed the Reaction: Grey Rock & Shuttle Negotiation 41:50 – What to Do When You Get a Bad Offer 42:50 – Ambit Claims & the Central Practice Direction 44:00 – Ask for the Authorities: Turning a Bad Offer to Your Advantage 46:30 – The Consequences of Refusing a Reasonable Offer 48:50 – Genuine Steps, Compulsory Offers & Costs Protection 50:00 – Why Offers Stay Hidden From the Judge Until the End
Calderbank Offers & Costs — • Costs, Family Court and Calderbank Offers ... Can You Really Mediate With a Narcissist? — • Mediation and negotiation tips for divorci...
— www.thedivorcecourse.com.au Enrol (DIY Divorce Blueprint, AU) — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/enrol | |||
| Do I really need a lawyer for my Divorce or DeFacto Separation? | 25 May 2026 | 00:37:55 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if…
⚠️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is general information only it is not legal advice. It reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your situation. Always consult a qualified family lawyer about your circumstances. Laws may have changed since recording. Most people think there are only two options when it comes to lawyers in a divorce hand everything over, or go it completely alone. But that's not the truth, and believing it can cost you thousands. In this episode, Laura and Lyn break down the three ways you can actually use a lawyer. Then they get into what nobody talks about how your divorce personality type should completely change how you use a lawyer. A manipulative and controlling ex who runs up your fees needs a very different strategy to an avoidant ex who panics at a law firm's letterhead This isn't an episode telling you to avoid lawyers. It's about using them strategically for the parts where legal expertise genuinely matters, and not for the parts that just drain your property pool. 00:00 – Do You Need a Lawyer for Divorce? The Big Myth 01:40 – The All-or-Nothing Lawyer Myth & Talking About Costs 03:00 – Why Spending Too Much on Lawyers Early Can Backfire 04:00 – The 2 Critical Times You MUST See a Lawyer 05:00 – Why Seeing a Lawyer Early Bursts Unrealistic Expectations 06:20 – Before You Sign: Why a Lawyer's Eye Matters 08:20 – The 3 Ways to Use a Lawyer: The First-Class Ride 09:50 – The 3 Ways to Use a Lawyer: Step In, Step Out 11:20 – Divorce Personality Types: Manipulative & Controlling 12:50 – Using Your Lawyer Strategically Against Fee-Running Tactics 15:00 – Should You Take a Lawyer or Barrister to Mediation? 17:00 – Divorce Personality Types: High Conflict 19:00 – Divorce Personality Types: The Avoidant Ex 21:30 – Divorce Personality Types: The Amicable Ex 23:40 – Project-Managing Your Lawyer & the Addario & Addario Case 26:00 – Why Understanding the Process Stops Panic Spending 33:00 – The Middle Way + Legal Aid & Community Legal Services 34:00 – The DIY Divorce Blueprint & Sign-Off 🎧 Episodes
📚 Links & Resources 📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 (24/7 DV support) 📞 Lifeline — 13 11 14 🚓 Police — 000 (immediate danger) 🌐 The Divorce Course — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au 🎓 The DIY Divorce Blueprint — enrolments open until 10 June 2026 (click "Enroll Now") 💌 If this episode helped you understand how to use a lawyer wisely – and where you can save thousands – please follow, rate, review, and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others going through the same thing can find it too. | |||
| How Much Does Divorce Actually Cost? Legal Fees, Mediation & Hidden Expenses | 19 May 2026 | 00:51:48 | |
🎧 Listen to This Episode If…
⚠️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is general information only – it is not legal advice. The content reflects Australian family law. Always consult a qualified family lawyer. fees may have changed since this episode was recorded (figures quoted reflect May 2026 pricing). This isn't an episode designed to scare you. Laura and Lyn walk you through where you have control, where you can save thousands by doing the work yourself, 00:00 – The Real Cost of Divorce: Why Some Pay $4K and Others $300K 02:36 – The Big Three Fears 04:14 – How Much Does a Divorce Application Actually Cost? 06:35 – Why Lawyers Charge for "Accepting Service" 08:01 – Negotiation Costs: 11:00 – Hourly Rates in 2026: 12:30 – The Cost of Phone Calls, Reviewing Offers & Meetings 14:30 – How Much to Draft Consent Orders 16:00 – Disclosure: The Biggest Budget Blowout in Divorce 19:00 – Paralegal Rates vs Lawyer Rates: Don't Overpay 20:30 – Drip-Feeding vs Dumping Disclosure 23:30 – Mediation Costs 24:50 – Do You Need a Barrister at Mediation? 27:00 – Half-Day vs Full-Day Mediation 29:30 – Hidden Costs 32:30 – The Court's Scale of Fees vs What Lawyers Actually Charge 33:30 – How Sending Late-Night Emails Costs You 34:30 – How People Waste Money 35:30 – Fighting Over Furniture, Revenge Litigation & Lawyer-as-Therapist 36:30 – Stubbornness, Unrealistic Expectations & Knowing When to Let Go 37:30 – Family Law Doesn't Deliver Justice or Retribution 39:00 – How Much to File Consent Orders ($205 Court Fee) 41:00 – How to Be Smart: When to Use a Lawyer and When Not To 41:30 – Saving Thousands on Disclosure by Doing It Yourself 43:00 – The One Meeting Strategy: Walk In Prepared, Walk Out Saving $10K 46:00 – Who Pays for Legal Fees? Section 114UB Explained 47:30 – Fee Exemptions, Cost Agreements & What to Expect 49:30 – Laura's Confession: The Bag of Receipts Story 🎧 Episodes Mentioned in This Episode 1. How to Choose a Mediator (Free vs Private Mediation) https://youtu.be/HKda6QswjAE?si=R27SD6WSDiLiI3VA 2. Do You Need a Lawyer for Mediation? https://youtu.be/GB2lJftxdh4?si=ur8ZMCkzPQ9dYFZN 3. Furniture in Divorce: How to Deal With It Without Blowing Your Budgethttps://youtu.be/oZ5h-gxckXU 4. Consent Orders Explained https://youtu.be/-DC72tq8FRM 🎟️ Free Webinar — Register at www.thedivorcecourse.com.au (click "Reserve My Seat")
https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/
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| How to Choose the Right Mediator for Your Divorce (Without Getting Played) | 13 May 2026 | 00:41:36 | |
🎧 Listen to This Episode If…
This podcast is general information only it is not legal advice. The content reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your specific situation or jurisdiction. Always consult a qualified family lawyer about your individual circumstances. Laws may have changed since this episode was recorded. 🛟 Family Violence Trigger WarningThis episode discusses family violence and the challenges of mediating where there is a history of abuse, coercion, or control. If you or someone you know is in danger, call 000. For confidential support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732). Episode SummaryYou don't have to accept whichever mediator gets put in front of you. In this episode, Laura and Mum (family law accredited specialist Lynette Galvin) unpack one of the most under-discussed parts of separation how to actually choose a good mediator, and how to push back when the one your ex is suggesting doesn't feel right. They cover the difference between free mediation (Relationships Australia, Interrelate, CentreCare) and private mediation, when you need an FDRP (Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner) versus when you don't, and whether your mediator really needs to be a lawyer or a former judge. Mum shares the exact wording she uses in letters when the other side proposes a biased or unaffordable mediator including the "panel of three" approach that keeps the process fair. There's also an honest conversation about the gap in the system for people experiencing family violence, where mediators often refuse to take the matter on leaving survivors stuck heading to court when mediation could have solved the issue. Laura and Mum talk about what to look for in a mediator brave enough to handle high-conflict matters, and the practical safety steps (separate rooms, video links, safe exits) you can ask about. And there's the reminder you might need most: you hold the cards. You don't have to agree to anything in mediation just because you've been pushed to. You can pause, walk away, and come back when you're ready. ⏱️ Episode Timeline00:00 – How to Choose a Mediator: Why It Matters More Than You Think 01:00 – Legal Disclaimer & Why Mum Is a Qualified Mediator 01:40 – Can the Mediator Make or Break Your Mediation? 02:30 – How Lawyers Choose Mediators (And Their "Bottom of the Barrel" List) 03:40 – Can You Speak to a Mediator Before Choosing? Why Mum Says No 04:20 – How to Use Google Reviews to Vet a Mediator 05:30 – What Qualifications a Mediator Should Have (FDRP Explained) 07:00 – Does Your Mediator Need to Be a Lawyer? Property vs Children 08:30 – Why Social Workers Often Make the Best Children's Mediators 09:30 – Mediation and Family Violence: The Gap in the System 12:20 – Can You Change Mediators Halfway Through? The Honest Answer 13:50 – Red Flags: Biased, Agenda-Driven and "In Cahoots" Mediators 16:00 – When the Mediator's Office Is Next Door to Your Ex's Lawyer 17:00 – How to Push Back Without Slandering the Mediator 18:30 – What to Do If Your Ex Picks an Expensive Mediator You Can't Afford 19:30 – Free Mediation Options: Relationships Australia, Interrelate, CentreCare 20:20 – How Much Does a Private Mediator Cost? ($5K–$6K Reality Check) 21:30 – Why Free Services Have Long Wait Lists (And When to Go Private) 22:30 – The "Panel of Three" Letter Strategy You Can Use Today 24:00 – Should You Pay More If Your Case Is Serious? 24:50 – Free Mediation Pros and Cons (And Why Parenting Plans Aren't Enforceable) 27:40 – Private Mediators: Former Judges, Barristers and the "Iron Fist in Velvet Glove" 29:30 – Facilitative vs Evaluative vs Pure Mediation Styles Explained 31:30 – Can You Ask the Mediator If You're Getting a Good Deal? No. 32:30 – Pressure to Sign on the Day: How to Push Back 33:40 – Mediation Is Like a Boat in the Ocean — Pick Wisely 35:30 – How to Write the "Panel of Three" Letter to Your Ex 36:30 – Best Mediator Style by Ex Personality Type 38:30 – If You're Amicable, You Might Not Need Mediation At All 39:30 – You Hold the Cards: Don't Be Bullied Into an Agreement 🎧 Episodes Mentioned in This EpisodeWhat Actually Happens Inside a Mediation - https://open.spotify.com/episode/2BvkcVNcHNrdWmXALC6bsA?si=31f56fce3c8d48a6 What a divorce mediator wish you knew - https://open.spotify.com/episode/4zeUIkV3O5LTQAHi0dXOGL?si=644698cb744647a8 📚 Links & Resources📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 (24/7 DV support) 📞 Lifeline — 13 11 14 🚓 Police — 000 (immediate danger) 🌐 The Divorce Course — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au 🎓 The Divorce Course Podcast — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog
Find an Accredited FDRP (Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner): Attorney-General's Department — https://www.ag.gov.au/families-and-marriage/family-dispute-resolution Free / Low-Cost Mediation Services:
Find a Family Law Accredited Specialist or Mediator:
The Divorce Course Free Webinar: www.thedivorcecourse.com.au — click "Reserve My Seat" Closing CTAIf this episode helped you understand how to choose a mediator who'll actually work for you, please follow, rate, review, and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others heading into mediation can find this information too. All our best, Laura & Lyn Your Guides By Your Side Co-Hosts of THE DIVORCE COURSE PODCAST
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| Is Your Ex Wasting the Property Pool? Here's What the Family Court Does Now | 05 May 2026 | 00:40:26 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if…
⚠️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is general information only – it is not legal advice. The content reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your specific situation or jurisdiction. Always consult a qualified family lawyer about your individual circumstances. Laws may have changed since this episode was recorded. Episode Summary You may have heard the rumour – "add-backs are dead." Lawyers are quoting it, ex-partners are using it as an excuse, and people are panicking that there's nothing they can do when the property pool is being drained. In this episode, Laura and Mum unpack what add-backs actually are, why people think they've disappeared, and what the courts are really doing about wastage now. The short answer? Add-backs aren't on the balance sheet anymore but wastage is absolutely still considered. Thanks to Shinohara & Shinohara [2025], the courts have stopped putting "imaginary money" into the property pool. But thanks to Section 79(5)(d) of the Family Law Act and the case of Shamon & Shamon [2025], wastage now adjusts the percentage split of what's left – and in Shamon, that meant the wife walked away with nearly 100% of the property pool plus costs. Mum walks through what counts as wastage (selling assets cheap, gambling, blowing money post-separation, gifting funds to a new partner), what doesn't (post-separation income spent on living, ordinary marital spending), and how to protect the property pool before your ex empties it. She also explains exactly what to consider saying if a lawyer or mediator quotes Shinohara at you including the section number, the case names, and the strategy that works. If you suspect your ex is wasting money or stalling property settlement, this is the episode to listen to before you do anything else. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – Are Add-Backs Dead? The Property Pool Myth Going Around 01:00 – Legal Disclaimer & Australian Family Law Context 01:30 – What Is an Add-Back in Property Settlement? 03:15 – The Townsend Case: How Add-Backs Used to Work 04:25 – Property Pool vs Balance Sheet: What's the Difference? 05:25 – The 4 Steps of Property Settlement Explained 05:50 – Why People Think Add-Backs Are Dead: Shinohara Explained 07:15 – "Don't Put Pretend Money on the Balance Sheet" 07:55 – The Real Risk: Ex Spending Everything Before Settlement 08:45 – How Wastage Is Handled Now: Section 79(5)(d) 10:00 – Percentage Adjustments Instead of Balance Sheet Add-Backs 11:30 – The Shamon Case: Wife Got Nearly 100% Plus Costs 13:50 – What to Do If Your Ex Has Already Drained the Pool 14:30 – How to Protect the Property Pool: Caveats Explained 17:00 – Protecting Joint Bank Accounts and Cash 17:50 – Superannuation, Cars and Other Assets 19:50 – Arguing Wastage in Mediation (Not Court) 21:00 – How to Respectfully Tell Your Lawyer They're Wrong 24:30 – Free Webinar Reminder 24:40 – What to Write to Your Ex Before Settlement 26:25 – What Counts as Wastage: Kowaliw, Gambling & More 27:30 – Is Drinking and Drug Use Considered Wastage? 28:15 – Gifts to a New Partner: The Gollings & Scott Case 29:30 – Reckless Spending vs Ordinary Spending 30:15 – Bad Business Decisions Post-Separation 31:10 – So Are Add-Backs Dead? The Final Answer 32:30 – What Evidence You Need to Prove Wastage 33:50 – The Mechanism Has Changed, the Outcome Hasn't 34:25 – Your Toolkit: Section 79(5)(d) of the Family Law Act, Shamon, Townsend, Weir 35:30 – Why Acting Fast Matters in Financial Abuse 36:55 – Reviewer of the Month: Manal from Australia 38:30 – Final Thoughts: Wastage Rules
🎧 Episodes Mentioned in This Episode 1. Equalisation of Super: The Myth That Won't Die https://youtu.be/YFkOnEsNybw?si=LAQd2SUq_YRVl9Ts 3. The Gilded Cage: Delay Tactics in Property Settlement https://youtu.be/cs6-jHDt-Qk?si=ufuSLLwVmasbQKsL 4. Financial Abuse and Hidden Assets https://youtu.be/D3-fV8C4gkM?si=JQMk6eqMXWUktsUf 📚 Links & Resources 📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 (24/7 support) 📞 Lifeline — 13 11 14 🚓 Police — 000 (immediate danger) 🌐 The Divorce Course — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au 🎓 The Divorce Course Podcast — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog 🎟️ Free Webinar — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au (click "Reserve My Seat") Cases Mentioned
Legislation
If this episode helped you understand wastage and feel ready to push back when someone says "add-backs are dead," please follow, rate, review, and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others going through the same thing can find this information too. All our best, Laura & Lyn Your Guides By Your Side Co-Hosts of THE DIVORCE COURSE PODCAST | |||
| Coercive Control & Domestic Violence in Family Court: Should You Raise It or Stay Silent? | 29 Apr 2026 | 00:50:12 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if:
⚠️ Legal Disclaimer & Family Violence Trigger Warning This episode contains discussion of family violence, coercive control, post-separation abuse, and the impact of these behaviours on children, which may be distressing for some listeners. If you are unsafe or experiencing family violence, please reach out for support. Support is available in Australia: 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14 🚨 In an emergency, call 000 This podcast provides general educational information about Australian family law only and is not legal advice. Laura is not a lawyer. Every situation is different, and you should seek independent professional guidance tailored to your circumstances. Episode Summary Should you bring up coercive control and domestic violence in your family law case… or will it backfire? If you've been online lately, you've probably seen wildly different opinions. Some people insist the courts ignore family violence completely. Others say the system is finally taking it seriously. And then there are the lawyers quietly telling clients to "just leave it out so we can settle." So who's right? In this episode, Mum and I unpack how coercive control and domestic violence are actually treated in Australian family law right now and the recent appeal cases that show the courts are starting to listen. We walk through real 2023 and 2024 decisions including Burnell & Rockford, Lainhart & Elinson, Dejani & Dejani, and Sad & Raymond cases your lawyer may not have caught up with yet. We talk about Section 4AB, Section 75, and Section 79 of the Family Law Act, why mediators sometimes forget you're still being coercively controlled while sitting across from your ex, and the very real "peace at any price" trap that costs people thousands in their settlement. If you've been silenced, dismissed, or told it's not worth raising this episode is for you. ⏱️ Episode Timeline00:00 – Coercive Control & Domestic Violence in Family Court: Should You Raise It? 01:00 – Meet Laura & Lynette: Family Law Mum & Daughter Duo 02:00 – Trigger Warning & Legal Disclaimer (Australia & Overseas) 03:00 – Why Social Media Gets Coercive Control So Wrong 04:00 – Why Lawyers Tell Clients to Leave It Out (And Why It's Wrong) 05:00 – Judge Best's Powerful Speech: "Soften Your Gaze" 06:00 – Why Both Parents Having Issues Doesn't Mean Equal Blame 07:00 – Section 4AB: The Family Violence Definition That Changed Everything 09:00 – Why Courts Now MUST Consider Family Violence Allegations 10:00 – The Old Kennon Case vs The New Law: What Changed 11:00 – Choosing the Right Lawyer When Domestic Violence Is Involved 12:00 – "Don't Raise It Or You Won't Settle" — The Lawyer Myth 13:00 – When NOT to Mention Family Violence in Property Mediation 14:00 – The Smarter Way to Negotiate Coercive Control in Mediation 16:00 – Parenting Cases: Why You MUST Raise Family Violence 17:00 – Lainhart & Elinson 2023: The Appeal Case Every Mum Should Know 18:00 – Section 60CC: Safety of Children Now Comes First 19:00 – Why Parents Don't Tell Lawyers the Full Truth (And Why You Must) 20:00 – Coercive Control in Parenting Cases Explained 21:00 – Counselling Orders: When the Court Mistakes Lip Service for Change 23:00 – False Alienation Claims: The New Coercive Control Tactic 24:00 – 50/50 Is No Longer the Default — Here's What Replaced It 26:00 – Free Divorce Webinar With Lynette (Family Law Specialist) 27:00 – Property Settlement: How Domestic Violence Affects Your Percentage 28:00 – Kennon & Kennon: The Original Family Violence Property Case 30:00 – Dejani & Dejani: When a Child's Health Issue Was Hidden 32:00 – Burnell & Rockford 2024: Coercive Control in Property Settlement 34:00 – Financial Abuse and PIN Numbers: What the Court Decided 35:00 – Why You Need These Cases at Your Mediation 37:00 – How Lawyers Use Cases as Negotiation Leverage 38:00 – Section 79 & Notice of Risk: The Mediation Framework 40:00 – Adding Percentage in Mediation Without Saying Why 41:00 – Why You Must Disclose Family Violence in Parenting Negotiations 43:00 – Settlement vs Court: The 10 Questions You Should Ask Yourself 44:00 – Why Mediators Forget You're Still Being Controlled 45:00 – How to Prove Coercive Control: Affidavits That Stand Up 47:00 – The Biggest Mistake: Peace at Any Price Mentality 48:00 – Why Post-Separation Abuse Often Gets Worse 49:00 – Don't Compromise on Children — Stand Your Ground 50:00 – Final Thoughts: It's Their Shame, Not Yours 🎧 Episodes Mentioned in This Episode 1. How to Put Coercive Control Into Writing for Courthttps://youtu.be/SIyXCGXH5nw?si=-7tLxmBpVQb2dNOv 2. Is It Family Violence? A Walk Through the Family Law Acthttps://youtu.be/YCddFx9cs_Y?si=DbJU6ePYSxDZFrEn 3. Settling vs Going to Court: 10 Questions to Ask Yourselfhttps://youtu.be/gYpW3znoY28?si=pdg6wWbjMWttMH94 📚 Cases Mentioned (Take These to Your Lawyer)
Article: "Judge urges profession to soften your gaze when dealing with domestic and family violence" — QLS Proctor, 27 March 2024 (Federal Circuit & Family Court Judge Hannah Cara Best) https://www.qlsproctor.com.au/2026/03/judge-urges-profession-to-soften-your-gaze-when-dealing-with-dfv/ Family Law Act 1975 — Sections 4AB, 60CC, 75, 79 https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s4ab.html 🆘 Links & Resources
If this episode helped you feel braver about raising coercive control and domestic violence in your family law matter, please follow, rate, review, and share the podcast it helps other people in coercively controlling situations find this information too. You are not alone, and you don't have to stay silent.
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| Divorce Money Mistakes: What Financial Planners Know That You Don't | 22 Apr 2026 | 00:51:07 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if:
⚖️ Legal Disclaimer & ⚠️ Family Violence Trigger Warning This episode contains discussion of family violence, coercive control, and financial control, which may be distressing for some listeners. If you are unsafe or need support: This podcast provides general educational information only and is not legal or financial advice. Please seek professional guidance tailored to your situation. Most people going through property settlement are focused on one thing… 👉 What percentage am I going to get? But here's what most people don't realise… Two people can walk away with the same 50/50 split and end up in completely different financial positions. Because it's not just about the percentage… In this episode, Mum and I sit down with financial planner Pedro Marin and break down the four key steps a financial planner takes during property settlement so you can avoid costly mistakes and actually set yourself up for your future. We talk about everything from figuring out what's in your property pool, to deciding how to structure your settlement, to planning your future and finally, making sure everything is actually set up properly after the deal is done. Because getting a settlement is one thing… ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – Divorce Property Settlement: It's Not Just the Percentage 🎧 Additional Episodes Mentioned
🔗 Links & Resources
If this episode helped you think differently about your property settlement, make sure you follow, rate, review, and share the podcast — because someone else out there needs to hear this before they make a costly mistake. | |||
| Furniture in Divorce: Who Gets What & Costly Mistakes to Avoid | 15 Apr 2026 | 00:41:31 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if:
This episode contains discussion of family violence, coercive control, and separation dynamics, which may be distressing for some listeners. If you are unsafe, do not attempt to retrieve belongings alone. This podcast provides general educational information only and is not legal advice. Every situation is different, and you should seek independent professional guidance tailored to your circumstances. What happens to all the "stuff" when you separate? Everyone talks about the house, the bank accounts, and the kids… but no one really talks about the furniture, the appliances, the artwork and yes, even the toilet brush. In this episode, Mum and I unpack what actually happens to household contents in a property settlement, and why these seemingly small things can end up causing some of the biggest fights. We break down what the law really says (and what it doesn't say), whether it matters who paid for something, and why arguing over furniture can end up costing you far more in legal fees than the item is even worth. We also walk through four practical ways to divide furniture based on your ex's personality type whether they're amicable, avoidant, high conflict, or controlling so you can sort it out without derailing your entire settlement. ⏱️ Episode Timeline00:00 – Furniture in Divorce: Common Myths You Need to Know 01:40 – Safety, Legal Disclaimer & Family Violence Warning 02:36 – What the Law Says About Furniture in Divorce 03:03 – Who Owns Furniture After Separation? 07:02 – Divorce and Possession: Who Keeps What? 07:41 – Myth: Do You Lose Furniture If You Leave the House? 09:45 – Cost vs Value: Is Furniture Worth Fighting Over? 11:32 – Emotional Furniture Fights in Divorce Explained 13:58 – Amicable Divorce: The Two List Method (Simple Solution) 16:24 – Avoidant Ex: How to Pack, Send & Move Their Stuff 18:54 – Shed Disputes & When to Get Legal Advice 20:54 – Free Divorce Resources You Can Use 21:43 – When to Move Out During Divorce (Timing Matters) 22:41 – High Conflict Divorce: Should You Sell Everything? 24:50 – Valuing Furniture in Divorce Negotiations 27:55 – Biggest Mistakes People Make With Furniture 31:11 – Don't Let Furniture Ruin Your Property Settlement 34:03 – Mindset Shift: It's Not About the Stuff 35:30 – Fresh Start After Divorce: Letting Go 39:47 – Final Takeaways: Fairness & Moving Forward 🎧 Additional Episodes Mentioned
Links & Resources
If this episode helped you rethink how to approach the "stuff" in your separation, make sure you follow, rate, review, and share the podcast so others can avoid getting stuck in the same fights.
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| Health and Divorce: How Illness May Affect Property Settlement Percentage | 07 Apr 2026 | 00:44:04 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if:
⚖️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is for educational purposes only and provides general information about Australian family law. It is not legal advice. Every situation is different, and you should seek independent professional guidance for your circumstances.
What happens in a property settlement when serious illness is part of the story? In this episode, Mum (a family law specialist and family lawyer) and I unpack one of the most emotional and often misunderstood areas of family law: how health issues, illness, and medical needs may impact your property settlement percentage. Because when you're going through separation, you're not just dividing assets… We talk about what happens if:
We break down how the court looks at contributions vs future needs, why simply saying "I'm unwell" isn't enough, and how these factors can actually shift the percentages in your property settlement. If illness has played a role in your relationship on either side this episode will help you understand how the law approaches it, and what it might mean for you. ⏱️ Episode Timeline - Health and Divorce: How Illness May Affect Property Settlement Percentage 00:00 – Illness and Divorce: How Health Impacts Property Settlement 00:22 – Why Health Changes Everything in Divorce Outcomes 01:32 – Meet the Hosts & Divorce Episode Overview 01:57 – Real Story: Endometriosis and Divorce Costs 03:07 – Divorce Property Settlement Explained (Step-by-Step) 04:38 – Caring for a Sick Partner in Divorce: Does It Count? 07:43 – What If You're the Sick Partner in Divorce? 09:46 – Divorce and Spousal Maintenance: Your Options 11:37 – Life Expectancy & Divorce Future Needs Explained 15:47 – Medical Expenses, Kids & Divorce (NDIS Explained) 19:12 – Proving Medical Needs in Divorce Settlements 21:00 – Short-Term vs Long-Term Illness in Divorce 21:41 – Temporary vs Chronic Illness in Divorce Cases 23:34 – Open-Ended Spousal Maintenance in Divorce 24:46 – Remission, Recovery & Divorce Medical Evidence 27:43 – How to Prove Illness in Divorce Court 30:18 – Divorce Surveillance, Fraud Claims & Mental Health 32:48 – When Both Parties Are Sick in Divorce 33:34 – Financial Obligations After Divorce Separation 35:19 – Divorce Agreements: Risks You Need to Know 37:20 – Rapid Fire Divorce Questions About Illness 39:07 – Divorce Mediation Tips When Illness Is Involved 40:46 – The Emotional Reality of Illness in Divorce 42:15 – Final Thoughts: Advocating for Yourself in Divorce
🎧 Episodes Mentioned in This Episode 1️⃣ Consent Orders vs Binding Financial Agreements - https://open.spotify.com/episode/5qgGhdAl5UaOo7LHb2Yf5Y?si=OFf8umvVQ7KAbzntw6AnVg 2️⃣ The Divorce Course (Program / Course Reference) www.thedivorcecourse.com.au
⚠️ Family Violence & Sensitive Content This episode discusses illness, vulnerability, and complex family dynamics, which may be distressing for some listeners. If you need support in Australia:
⚖️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is for educational purposes only and provides general information about Australian family law. It is not legal advice. Every situation is different, and you should seek independent professional guidance for your circumstances.
If this episode helped you better understand how health can impact your divorce, please make sure to follow, rate, review, and share the podcast it helps others going through the same thing find this information too. | |||
| Is Your Ex Watching You? Coercive control goes digital. | 01 Apr 2026 | 00:44:08 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if:
What if your ex knew where you were… who you were talking to… and what you were saying — without you ever telling them? In this episode, we're joined by Catherine Plunkett, Director of Safety Net Australia at WESNET, to unpack the growing reality of technology-facilitated abuse in relationships and after separation. Because abuse doesn't always leave bruises. Sometimes it looks like:
And increasingly, this is becoming one of the most common forms of domestic and family violence. We break down what tech abuse actually is, how it happens, the warning signs to look for, and most importantly what you can do to protect yourself and your children. If something doesn't feel right, this episode will help you understand what might be happening and what steps you can take next. ⏱️ Episode Timeline - Is Your Ex Watching You? Tech Abuse in Divorce Explained00:00 – Is Your Ex Spying on You? Hidden Tech Abuse Signs 01:35 – What Is Tech Abuse? How It Works in Relationships 05:10 – How Common Is Digital Abuse After Separation? 06:52 – Tracking Apps, Spyware & How People Monitor You 12:06 – Warning Signs Your Phone or Accounts Are Compromised 16:20 – What NOT to Do If You Suspect You're Being Watched 18:00 – Digital Safety Checks & Getting the Right Support 20:33 – Safe Phones, New Devices & Protecting Your Accounts 23:12 – That "Alarm Feeling": Trusting Your Instincts 24:11 – Smart Homes & Hidden Tracking Risks You Didn't Expect 26:31 – Cars, GPS & How Vehicles Can Track You 27:45 – Digital Safety Checklist: Steps You Can Take Today 30:47 – How Kids Can Be Used in Tech Monitoring 35:20 – AI, Deepfakes & The Future of Digital Abuse 38:39 – Where to Get Help for Tech Abuse 41:17 – Your Right to Privacy and Safe Communication 42:27 – What Safety Net Australia Does for Victims 44:19 – Final Thoughts, Support & Next Steps 🔗 Links & Resources
This episode contains discussion of family violence and may be distressing for some listeners. If you are experiencing domestic or family violence, support is available: This podcast is for educational purposes only and discusses general concepts. It is not legal advice. Every situation is different, and you should seek independent professional guidance for your circumstances. | |||
| Refusing 50/50 Care? What to Do in Mediation When Your Child's Safety Comes First | 24 Mar 2026 | 00:48:00 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if:
Have you been told you need to go to mediation, but you're worried about the outcome because you simply cannot budge when it comes to your child's safety? Has your ex demanded 50/50 care, but deep down you know that arrangement isn't in your child's best interests right now? We talk about how to approach mediation when you feel stuck, how to clearly communicate your concerns, and the practical options that may be discussed including supervised time, stepped arrangements, and drug and alcohol testing. If you're feeling pressured, overwhelmed, or unsure how to stand your ground, this episode will help you navigate mediation with clarity and confidence. ⏱️ Episode Timeline -Refusing 50/50 Care? What to Do in Mediation When Your Child's Safety Comes First[00:00] – Mediation With Safety Fears [02:33] – What Mediation Really Is [05:40] – Holding The Safety Line [06:37] – Define The Real Risks [09:27] – What Courts Call Unsafe [10:33] – Supervised Time Options [12:56] – Choosing Contact Centres [16:34] – Cutting Contact And Court Optics [18:43] – Stepped Parenting Orders [21:26] – Therapy Conditions And Pitfalls [23:06] – Drug And Alcohol Testing [26:25] – Costs And Waitlists [26:45] – Paying For Supervision [27:28] – Preparing For Mediation [28:13] – When They Refuse Supervision [28:48] – Best Interests Not 50/50 [30:40] – Court View On Refusal [33:27] – Holding Your Safety Line [35:17] – If Mediation Hits Impasse [38:17] – Costs Threats Reality Check [39:07] – Using Mediation For Property [43:16] – Authenticity And Support This episode contains discussion of family violence and may be distressing for some listeners. If you are affected, please consider listening with support or contact: This podcast is for educational purposes only and discusses general concepts in Australian family law. Every situation is different, and you should seek independent professional guidance for your specific circumstances. 🔗 Helpful Resources
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| The Parenting Order Loopholes Your Ex Might Exploit (And How to Close Them) | 18 Mar 2026 | 00:51:40 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if:
This episode contains discussion of family conflict and family violence which may be distressing for some listeners.If you are experiencing family violence or feel unsafe, please contact 1800 RESPECT (Australia) or your local domestic violence support service. This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. Laura and Lynette are discussing general concepts in Australian family law. Every situation is different, and listeners should obtain independent professional guidance about their specific circumstances. Episode Time Stamps: The Parenting Order Loopholes Your Ex Will Exploit (And How to Close Them) 00:00 High Conflict Co Parenting 01:59 Why Orders Need Clarity 05:10 Changing Orders Is Hard 07:03 Loophole 1 Communication Rules 11:53 Loophole 2 Last Minute Changes 14:12 Loophole 3 Handover Boundaries 20:14 Loophole 4 Extracurricular Conflicts 26:30 Loophole 5 Stop Trash Talking 28:04 High School Choice Traps 29:39 Private School Fee Fights 31:14 School Updates and Access 32:07 Kids Phones and Screen Rules 35:50 Passports and Travel Clauses 40:06 Medical Decisions and Info 44:34 Emergency Contact Requirements 46:27 Rosters Holidays and Ambiguity 50:07 Think About What Ifs 51:12 Wrap Up and Disclaimers
Helpful Resources
Referenced when discussing the main structure of parenting agreements before talking about loopholes. https://open.spotify.com/episode/6j325rOj96QvV8spPnYsX5?si=td4XlKQZSr6CXfCSm9H_bA 2. Handover HellMentioned during the discussion about pick-up and drop-off conflicts and handover disputes. https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Pskjns3vZkLyv9FCefvxm?si=guIkwi1ITJuTOnshvpP9VA 3. Trash TalkingReferenced when discussing parents speaking negatively about the other parent around the children.https://open.spotify.com/episode/7bxqn5I6B1HCzO9r0zKnxY?si=nEH3splzQxSTBOUikJJHhA 4. Interstate Travel With Children After SeparationMentioned during the travel and passport boundary discussion. https://open.spotify.com/episode/0auxUUS6QSh0ILcGHXbQgk?si=CmhYz74pSquyhTI2dgRMbQ 5. Tech Facilitated AbuseReferenced during the children's phones, devices and monitoring discussion. COMING SOON 6. Sole Parental ResponsibilitySuggested for listeners who want to understand decision-making authority around medical or school issues. https://open.spotify.com/episode/2O0VczmgtAPUrvcgJiF8HP?si=BM0nanlwTP6k67SMF8yg4g Summary Many parents believe that once parenting orders are made, the conflict will finally stop. But the reality is court orders don't magically change behaviour. If you are dealing with a high-conflict, manipulative, controlling or avoidant ex, poorly written parenting orders can become a playground for loopholes, misunderstandings and ongoing arguments. In this episode of the Divorce Course Podcast, Laura and Lynette break down the most common loopholes people exploit in parenting orders and the practical boundaries you may want to think about before signing anything. Because while parenting orders can't eliminate conflict entirely, clear boundaries can prevent many of the arguments before they even start. You'll learn how to think about communication, handovers, school decisions, travel rules, technology, medical issues and more all through the lens of preventing future conflict.
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| Can I Make My Ex Leave the House? 5 Strategies After Separation | 11 Mar 2026 | 00:39:47 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if:
This podcast provides general educational information only and is based primarily on Australian family law. It is not legal advice and should not replace advice from a qualified legal professional. Always seek independent legal advice specific to your circumstances. This episode also discusses family violence and coercive control, which may be distressing. If you feel unsafe or need support in Australia, contact 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline (13 11 14), or call 000 in an emergency. When a relationship breaks down, most people focus on the big things: the kids, the property settlement, and the future. But one of the most suffocating parts of separation is often the very first step — how do you stop living under the same roof as your ex? If you're walking on eggshells at home, wondering whether you can leave, whether you'll lose your rights to the house, or whether you can legally make your ex move out, you're not alone. These questions come up for almost everyone navigating separation. In this episode, Mum and I break down five realistic ways to create space after separation without damaging your property settlement. We talk about what you can legally do, what you absolutely shouldn't do, and the myths that keep so many people stuck living under one roof for far longer than they need to. [00:00] – The Fear of Being Stuck in the House During Separation [02:43] – What You Should NEVER Do During Separation [04:44] – Divorce Myth: Do You Lose Your Rights If You Leave the House? [06:05] – Five Ways to Create Space After Separation [07:45] – Option 1: Simply Asking Your Ex to Move Out [09:58] – Option 2: Creating a Temporary Living Arrangement [13:16] – Option 3: Nesting or House Swapping for the Kids [18:47] – Option 4: The Trial Move-Out Strategy [20:23] – Trial Separation Tactics That Reduce Conflict [21:06] – Why Many Partners Don't See Divorce Coming [22:47] – The Risk of Control and Financial Backlash After Separation [24:04] – Coercive Control and the 'Amnesia' Effect [25:40] – Ouster Orders and Sole Occupancy Explained [27:59] – The Risks of Applying for Sole Occupancy Orders [29:55] – Domestic Violence Orders Without Leaving the House [32:54] – Safety Planning and Support Resources [34:12] – Common Divorce Myths That Keep People Stuck [35:42] – Why Physical Space Makes Divorce Negotiations Easier [37:41] – Final Takeaways: Moving Forward After Separation "I Really Want to Keep the House" https://open.spotify.com/episode/6TzW9skKgvO8fjm0gcFPRg?si=t9q2a8TRRS-x7FAWEfBS9g "Five Out-of-the-Box Ideas to Keep the House in Property Settlement"https://open.spotify.com/episode/5RgIsTMGh7EBqqbAgIVQ5Y?si=CRxIPgc-Sm6gRvin285Q_A "The Divorce Personality Types Quiz Episode" https://open.spotify.com/episode/4IPDOWvfPKsSrPaCvf7Se8?si=7LfUwX6OSa-ym_OOujCt5Q "How to Create a Safety Plan" Support Services (Australia)
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| When It's Not Just Conflict: How Coercive Control Shows Up in Divorce | 03 Mar 2026 | 00:50:34 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if: You're unsure whether what you experienced was abuse You've heard the term "coercive control" but don't fully understand it You feel confused, guilty or constantly off balance in your relationship Negotiations during separation feel manipulative rather than constructive You're worried about how coercive control affects children You want clarity and validation around your experience This episode discusses family violence and may be triggering for some listeners. If you need support, please reach out to 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) or Lifeline (13 11 14). This discussion is general education only and not psychological or legal advice. ⏱️ Episode Timeline: When It's Not Just Conflict: How Coercive Control Shows Up in Divorce [00:00] – Is This Normal Conflict or Something More? [01:45] – Safety Disclaimer & Family Violence Support Services [02:35] – Why Naming Coercive Control Matters [03:35] – What Coercive Control Actually Is (Simple Definition) [04:32] – Patterns, Not Incidents: Why Abuse Isn't Always Obvious Why domestic violence is no longer viewed as isolated incidents but as ongoing patterns of behaviour that create harm over time. [05:35] – No Bruises, Still Harm: Emotional & Psychological Abuse Explained How gaslighting, micromanagement, silent treatment and financial control cause real psychological damage without visible injuries. [07:13] – How Do You Explain Coercive Control to Others? [10:03] – The Three D's: Disrespect, Disempowerment & Distortion A practical framework to identify coercive control behaviours in relationships and divorce negotiations. [11:09] – Disempowerment: Fear, Micromanagement & Loss of Autonomy How controlling partners create dependency, intimidation and fear of consequences — even without physical violence. [12:11] – Post-Separation Control: When Abuse Continues After Divorce Why coercive control often escalates during separation, mediation and family court proceedings. [13:59] – Disrespect & Double Standards in Abusive Relationships [16:27] – Distortion & Gaslighting: Rewriting Reality [18:48] – Narcissism vs Coercive Control: What's the Difference? Understanding the overlap between narcissistic traits and coercive control in emotionally abusive relationships. [20:09] – Seeing the Whole Pattern (Not Just One Argument) Why focusing on single incidents hides the broader pattern of domination and manipulation. [21:56] – How Coercive Control Impacts Children Why children are not just witnesses but victims in coercively controlled households — including hypervigilance and emotional harm. [24:22] – Protecting Children in Family Court How concerns about coercive control can be reframed as "alienation" — and why understanding legal narratives matters. [25:34] – One Safe Parent: The Protective Buffer for Kids [26:15] – Why It's So Hard to Leave an Abusive Relationship Financial dependence, fear, threats, trauma bonding and loss of autonomy explained. [27:56] – The Power Myth: Why Abusers Seem So Smart and Untouchable [28:54] – Trauma Bonding Explained The cycle of highs and lows that keeps people emotionally attached in abusive dynamics. [30:01] – Court Fears & Post-Separation Abuse Why people fear family court when coercive control continues through legal processes. [31:03] – Negotiation vs Control: The Simple Test How to tell the difference between genuine divorce negotiation and manipulation disguised as cooperation. [33:05] – The Three D's in Legal Tactics [34:15] – Legal Examples: Silent Treatment, Rigid Demands & Pressure Tactics Recognising micromanagement, unreasonable timelines, and threats dressed up as "legal process." [38:04] – Using Children to Maintain Control After Separation Excessive updates, micromanaging parenting decisions, and control disguised as "concern." [44:25] – Hold Onto Clarity: Documenting Patterns of Abuse Why writing things down helps counter gaslighting and protects your psychological stability during divorce. [46:37] – Legal Narratives & Gatekeeping in Court How coercive control can be minimised or reframed in legal settings — and why showing patterns matters. [48:12] – Hope, Support & Life After Coercive Control side. [49:06] – Workshop Resources & Next Steps 🔗 Resources Mentioned 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 https://kirovapsychology.com.au/ (Melbourne workshops & resources) Previous episodes on: Mediation vs Manipulation https://youtu.be/cmcFWXD2EBs?si=LOOTB_BwYJIQSmn9 Legal Abuse: https://youtu.be/h2Pu2MmbDxw?si=-HiUdJAfdvoMK8fL Alienation Allegations: https://youtu.be/g8ofj-Sp3n4?si=_0tX3XSweEMzYp6o Safety Planning https://youtu.be/R4M8Hr9cbh0?si=0XyklWL2VMwx_cmN | |||
| When In-Laws Interfere in Your Divorce (What You Have to Respond To) | 24 Feb 2026 | 00:38:34 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if… ● Your ex's parents or extended family are texting, pressuring or negotiating on their behalf If you are going through separation or divorce and suddenly your ex's family has become involved, this episode will help you understand what your responsibility actually is and where it ends. In this conversation, Mum and I unpack what you legally have to respond to, what you can ignore, and how to protect your peace when outside pressure starts escalating conflict. We talk about grandparents family members negotiating property settlement, so-called "loans" during property disputes, mediation interference, coercive control via in-laws, and how to set boundaries without damaging your credibility. If you're feeling overwhelmed, ganged up on, or unsure how to manage extended family pressure this episode is your permission slip to protect yourself. Legal Disclaimer:This episode contains general educational discussion only and is not legal advice. We are based in Australia and laws differ between countries. Always seek independent legal advice tailored to your personal circumstances before making decisions. Family Violence & Safety Trigger Warning Disclaimer This episode includes discussion of family violence, coercive control and high-conflict dynamics.If you are experiencing family violence, intimidation, harassment or feel unsafe at any time, please seek support immediately. ⏱️ Episode Timeline for When In-Laws Interfere in Your Divorce (What You Have to Respond To) 00:00 – Introduction: When Your Ex's Family Gets Involved 02:05 – How Family Dynamics Shift After Separation 05:35 – Do You Have to Respond to In-Laws Negotiating on Your Ex's Behalf? 08:10 – Grandparents' Rights Explained (Australia) 14:15 – Gifts vs Loans in Property Settlement 19:50 – Can Grandparents Demand Time If Your Ex Isn't Seeing the Kids? 24:20 – Family Members Pressuring or Manipulating Children 27:10 – Divorce Mediation Agreements Changing After Family Influence 30:30 – Boundaries With Your Own Family During Divorce 31:45 – What You Can Control vs What You Can't 35:45 – "It's Not About Them"
🔗 Links & Resources ● DIY Divorce Blueprint – Courses & Support ● 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 ● Lifeline – 13 11 14 Related Episodes: ● Trash Talking – What To Do When Your Ex Badmouths You Closing Reminder Divorce is hard enough without feeling like you're negotiating with an entire extended family.If this episode helped you feel clearer, calmer or more confident about setting boundaries during separation, please follow, rate and review the podcast. Your support helps more women find grounded, practical information when they need it most.And remember you are not responsible for managing everyone else's emotions.This is not about them. | |||
| How Long Does Divorce or DeFacto Separation Really Take? Your Complete Process Walkthrough | 18 Feb 2026 | 00:43:17 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if…
If you're going through separation, divorce or a parenting/property dispute in Australia, this episode will walk you through every major step in the family law process from the moment of separation all the way to a final hearing.
We break down how to negotiate, when mediation works (and why it fails), what arbitration actually is, how to use deadlines and case law to manage a difficult ex, when court becomes necessary, what happens at each court stage, and how to avoid getting stuck for months or years. Whether you're at the very beginning or already halfway through, this roadmap will help you feel grounded and prepared. 📌 LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This episode is general education only — not legal advice. Always seek independent legal advice for your specific situation. ⏱️ Episode Timeline00:00 – Divorce Roadmap Overview: What to Expect From Separation to Trial 00:38 – Meet the Hosts + Education-Only Disclaimer 01:59 – Why Your Separation Date Matters (Especially Under One Roof) 03:45 – DIY Negotiations: Why a 'Signed Paper' Isn't Enough 05:28 – Consent Orders & Financial Agreements Explained 06:59 – Parenting vs Property Mediation: How They Work & How to Prepare 10:55 – After Mediation Fails: Arbitration, Offers & Partial Agreements 13:28 – Stonewalling & Delay Tactics: Deadlines, Notice to File & Case Law 19:03 – Filing in Court: What Documents You Need & What They Mean 20:47 – Should You File Parenting & Property Together? 22:03 – Using Court Filings as Negotiation Leverage 23:11 – First Court Event Explained (It's Not a Trial!) 23:43 – PPP500 & Evatt List: What These Court Pathways Mean for You 25:52 – Interim Hearings: Urgent Parenting & Property Issues 28:02 – Court-Ordered Mediation: Reality Checks & Settlement Pressure 31:35 – Readiness Hearing: Preparing for Trial 33:11 – Final Trial: What Actually Happens in the Courtroom 36:37 – Big Picture Strategy: Stay Focused on Your Stage 40:09 – Costs Orders & Legal Abuse 41:58 – Wrap-Up: Tell It to the Judge + Course Info & Outro 🔗 Links & Resources✨The Course: https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/enrol 💛 Support Services | |||
| Separated… but Stuck? The Chicken & Egg Problem Keeping You in Divorce Limbo | 11 Feb 2026 | 00:38:20 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if…
PLEASE note Lyn's audio file at the end of the episode was lost so we have cobbled together what we had to finish the episode as we know so many of you listen each week so, sorry no embroidered cushion this week. Hopefully the tech will behave itself next week for you all. Trigger warning there are discussions of Family Violence & Coercive Control. Legal Warning: this is not legal advice 📝 Episode Summary: Separated… but Stuck? The Chicken & Egg Problem Keeping You in Divorce Limbo If you've ever felt like you're separated but… nothing is moving, you're not alone. Should you move out? Should you get legal help? Should you talk to the bank? Should you wait for your ex? Should you apply for parenting arrangements? Should you start disclosure? Should you sell the house? Should you stay for the kids? Everything feels tangled, and you feel frozen. We break down why this paralysis happens, why it's normal, and how small, strategic steps can help you get out of emotional and practical limbo. You'll hear examples from real separations, insights about overwhelm and avoidance, and the surprising reasons so many women stay "stuck" for months — or even years. This episode is your permission slip to take one small step, feel less afraid, and finally understand why your nervous system is doing exactly what it was designed to do. This episode contains general separation discussion, not legal advice.
⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 — Why Early Separation Feels Impossible: The Chicken & Egg Problem 01:05 — What Keeps Women Stuck in Divorce Limbo 02:28 — Emotional Overload, Fear & Decision Paralysis 04:50 — Separated Under One Roof: Why Nothing Changes 07:14 — "Where Do I Start?" Understanding the Overwhelm 10:40 — The Pressure to Have a Full Plan Before Taking Action 12:33 — Money Fear, Housing Fear & Losing Stability 15:55 — Why Conflict Avoidance Keeps You Frozen 17:48 — Waiting for the Perfect Moment (And Why It Won't Come) 20:22 — How to Take One Small Step Without Starting a War 23:15 — Using Information to Reduce Fear and Panic 26:44 — What You Can Control vs What You Can't 29:30 — Making Progress Even When You're Not Ready 32:01 — Reassurance for Anyone Feeling Stuck 35:14 — Final Encouragement: You Don't Have to Solve Everything Today
🔗 Links & Resources ✨ Download the FREE Divorce Personality Quiz Printable ✨ Join the Newsletter for Bonus Divorce Strategy Tools www.thedivorcecourse.com.au ✨ Safety & Support Resources
If this episode helped you feel seen, understood, or just a little less stuck, please follow, rate, and review the podcast.
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| Take the Divorce Personality Quiz: & Learn Why Your Strategy MUST Match Your Ex's Behaviour | 05 Feb 2026 | 00:54:28 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if…
Trigger warning there are discussions of Family Violence & Coercive Control. Legal Warning: this is not legal advice 📝 Episode Summary In this episode, Laura and Lyn guide you through the 20-question Divorce Personality Quiz, designed to help you identify the divorce pattern you're dealing with Your divorce type affects:
You'll take the quiz with us live inside the episode and learn what each answer (A, B, C, or D) reveals about your ex's behaviour. This insight can transform your divorce experience by helping you understand what's really happening and why your current approach may or may not be working. And if you want the free downloadable PDF of the quiz, a printable results sheet, and access to our bonus email guide "How to Strategise Based on Your Divorce Type", head to: 👉 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au This episode includes general behavioural discussion, not legal advice. ⏱️ Episode Timeline00:00 Introduction: What Divorce Type Are You Dealing With? 00:36 Why Identifying Your Divorce Type Matters for Your Strategy 00:58 Overview of the Four Divorce Types: Amicable, Avoidant, High-Conflict & Controlling 01:14 How to Take the Divorce Personality Quiz 01:39 Meet Your Hosts and Episode Overview 02:11 Understanding Divorce Personality Types & Behaviour Patterns 03:15 Divorce Quiz Part 1: Decision-Making, Conflict & Communication 05:51 What Your Answers Mean: Interpreting the First Quiz Results 09:40 Divorce Quiz Part 2: Boundaries, Money Issues & Emotional Safety 19:05 Divorce Quiz Part 3: Rules, Power Imbalances & Information Control 25:23 Final Divorce Quiz Questions + Strategy Insights 30:08 Recognising Manipulative or Controlling Divorce Dynamics 31:41 How to Identify Your Divorce Type From Your Quiz Results 32:30 Amicable Divorce: Strengths, Risks & When It Fails 35:14 Avoidant Ex Partners: Why Progress Feels Impossible 38:23 High-Conflict Divorce Explained: Escalation, Triggers & Survival Strategies 41:16 Controlling or Coercive Ex Partners: Red Flags & Safety Considerations 44:40 How to Create a Safety Plan During Divorce 48:20 Helpful Resources, Support Services & Next Steps 52:49 Final Thoughts: Matching Your Strategy to Your Ex's Behaviour 🔗 Links & Resources✨ Download the FREE Divorce Personality Quiz Printable ✨ Join the Newsletter for Bonus Divorce Strategy Tools ✨ Safety & Support Resources 10 Boundaries You Should Set Up Before Divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/0ecDTxw4rTc3zXBkcjuYpA?si=Eb_uqTJnSbS2Vtyz80tBmQ
The Purple Book Episode (Coercive Control & Abuse Patterns) https://open.spotify.com/episode/1ccm01eMpJ3TMZa2uMaUMN?si=WJ7wQy9mTmKYhd2sTPiO0g
The Original "Divorce Personality Types" Episode https://open.spotify.com/episode/1X89h1IBOUa0QFxiICIuwo?si=neoemW5URuubT8VYaGjlPw If this episode helped you finally understand the behaviour you've been dealing with, please follow, rate and review the podcast. And don't forget to grab your FREE quiz download it's one of the most powerful tools to help you navigate your divorce with clarity and confidence. | |||
| 10 Things That Quietly Destroy Your Family Court Case (Sometimes before you've even gone to court) | 27 Jan 2026 | 00:49:37 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if…
If you're going through separation, divorce, or a parenting dispute in Australia, this episode will help you avoid the most common mistakes people make in the Family Court. These insights can make or break your credibility, influence parenting outcomes, and help you stay calm and strategic throughout the legal process. In this episode, we unpack 10 behaviours that can ruin your case — the things that damage cases, frustrate judges, increase legal costs, and affect how your evidence is viewed. Whether you're self-represented, considering mediation, managing a high-conflict ex, or worried about how your actions may be interpreted, this conversation will give you clarity on what the court expects from parents. Learn how to stay child-focused, how to avoid actions that look like parental alienation, how to communicate effectively, how to avoid sabotaging your own case, and why honesty, disclosure, and consistency matter so much. If you're feeling overwhelmed, emotional, or stuck in conflict, this episode offers guidance to help you stay grounded and organised. LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This episode contains general discussion only this is not legal advice please always get independent legal advice as each situation is different. Trigger Warning: This episode has some discussions of family violence.
⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – Introduction: How to Avoid Mistakes That Hurt Your Family Court Case 02:07 – Why Judges Prioritise Child-Focused Parenting in Family Court 06:36 – Keeping Emotions Out of Family Court: What Judges Look For 13:26 – Presenting Evidence Properly: What Counts in Family Court 16:59 – The Serious Consequences of Lying or Exaggerating in Court 21:27 – Disclosure Rules in Property Settlement: What You MUST Provide 25:26 – Following Court Orders and Deadlines: Why Timing Matters 25:58 – Understanding Family Court Practice Directions (CPD Requirements) 28:40 – Narrowing the Issues Before Court: What Judges Expect You to Do 33:19 – Avoiding Behaviour That Looks Like Parental Alienation 39:43 – Acting Reasonably in Family Court: How It Influences Outcomes 42:03 – Courtroom Etiquette, Presentation and Final Takeaways
🔗 Links & Resources
Dealing with Narc Lies in court https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SdkXhj3vC2tfO3gDdkM6y?si=P-fwZYVSQxO7JnVs5yYJdw When your ex lies in court https://open.spotify.com/episode/2OpAGxXfx78iAO81TMPPxJ?si=wcN-tRFdSaSjGLU51fmV7w Overcoming disclosure delays https://open.spotify.com/episode/0uOO8dKYV4NWlCfyu8FZEh?si=PI-J7YtGTb6pFRKGa7KjdA Disclosure Deadlocks https://open.spotify.com/episode/2yrShRhq4jcGVuVDN6Jq6C?si=ZFmAHXmAT1-JS0neHjsDHQ Is your ex hiding assets https://open.spotify.com/episode/4KbgLRFXB9r2rCz3vycZ98?si=nKf11LeYS_66Uzn003Ydug Central Practice Directions https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd False Accusations of Parental Alienation https://open.spotify.com/episode/0l9L5SDovV515EU4H5gpIf?si=jNYKY5cBTCatIXZpEHXisQ Handover Hell https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Pskjns3vZkLyv9FCefvxm?si=UrHDcaRBTwuKpnVmWty-qA Family Reports https://open.spotify.com/episode/4k2Z4glD8WpY4dsqz6vn5Y?si=MMj_I2N5RlaT_5flBfZjMQ Court Etiquette https://open.spotify.com/episode/0JOwxZOGxT182UOp8iqd8z?si=8ib6y9qLRvuD5n8AO4y46w 💛 Closing ReminderIf this episode helped you feel more prepared or confident, please follow, rate, and review the podcast. Your support helps more women find clear, supportive information during their divorce or separation.
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| Finding Hope Again: The Charity Giving Women a Voice during DV, Coercive Control & Divorce | 21 Jan 2026 | 00:34:59 | |
🎧 Listen to this episode if…
📝 Episode Summary If you've ever felt invisible, silenced, or completely alone while living through domestic violence, coercive control, separation, or divorce this episode is for you. Today, Laura sits down with Jo West, the founder of 4 Voices, a remarkable charity supporting women experiencing domestic violence, financial abuse, homelessness, social isolation, and coercive control. This episode is different from our usual legal conversations it's a conversation about hope, humanity, and the power of connection when someone is going through hell and doesn't know where to turn. Jo shares the reality of what women face when they're living in fear, why so many are afraid to reach out, and how simple acts of kindness like someone showing up, listening, and seeing you can genuinely change the course of a woman's life. If you're struggling right now, this episode will remind you of something important: TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains general discussion about domestic violence and support, not legal information. Finding Hope Again: The Charity Giving Women a Voice during DV, Coercive Control & Divorce ⏱️ Episode Timeline[00:00] Meet Four Voices: A Support Service for Women Facing DV & Crisis 🔗 Links & Resources
🚨 Support Services (Australia)
💛 Closing Reminder If this conversation brought you comfort or hope, please follow, rate, and review the podcast. Sharing this episode could help another woman find the support she desperately needs.
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| Divorce, Renovations & the Family Home: What the Family Court Really Cares About | 14 Jan 2026 | 00:45:19 | |
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📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for education only and not legal advice. Please seek your own independent legal, financial, and real estate advice for your situation. 📌 Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence and property damage. Support services are listed below. 📝 Episode Summary Should you renovate or stage the house when you're going through divorce or is it a costly mistake that keeps you stuck longer than you need to be? In this episode, Mum and I break down renovations, staging, and selling the family home during separation, and what actually matters in property settlements. We talk honestly about when spending money might make sense, when it won't, and how renovations are often used intentionally or not as a delay tactic or control mechanism. We cover staging versus maintenance, half-finished renovations, DIY disasters, family contributions, damage to property, and how the court really views all of it. Most importantly, we talk about how to decide whether renovations are worth the financial and emotional cost, and how to avoid getting trapped in a house or a settlement that never seems to move forward. 📌 Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence and property damage. Support services are listed below. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 Should You Renovate Before Selling During Divorce? 00:40 Renovations During Divorce: Common Questions Answered 01:09 Legal and Financial Rules Around Renovations 02:03 Staging vs Renovations: What Actually Adds Value? 05:52 Renovation Traps: Delays, Control and Emotional Attachment 08:41 Half-Finished Renovations and Unsellable Homes 13:32 Renovations as Non-Financial Contributions Explained 16:49 Family Loans, Gifts and Renovation Contributions 23:14 Property Damage, Wastage and How Courts Value Homes 23:47 Keep, Sell or Buy Out the Family Home? 24:51 Renovation Reimbursements: Do You Have to Pay Them Back? 26:34 Renovating During Separation: What to Do and What to Avoid 28:51 How Family Law Courts Determine Property Value 30:02 Renovations and Consent Orders: What Courts Will and Won't Enforce 35:22 Property Valuations in Divorce: What Courts Accept 40:04 Final Thoughts: Avoiding Renovation Mistakes in Divorce 🔗 Links & Resources Support Services (Australia)
Related Episodes
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6YUc34CVu6aCmunjQT1Sp6?si=Aks8s1YMTguzG-wyYO33Xw
https://open.spotify.com/episode/5WcJwbOkw7UcCdla48EpXj?si=JRrkI8pZRdu6EUn0h8gncw
🚨 Support Services (Australia)
📌 Legal Disclaimer This episode is for education only and not legal advice. Please seek your own independent legal, financial, and real estate advice for your situation. 🎧 Don't forget to follow, rate & review! If this episode helped you, please share it you never know who might be stuck in a renovation trap right now.
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| The 7 Phases of Divorcing a Narcissist (What No One Warns You About) | 06 Jan 2026 | 00:36:05 | |
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This episode is for education only and not legal or psychological advice. Please seek your own independent legal support based on your circumstances. 📝 Episode SummaryDivorcing a narcissist isn't just difficult it's predictable. In this episode, Mum and I walk you through the seven phases most people experience when separating from someone with narcissistic traits, based on what we see every single day in real cases. We talk about how tactics have evolved, why the mask eventually drops, and how emotional manipulation turns into smear campaigns, financial control, legal abuse, and ongoing chaos even after court ends. We're not diagnosing anyone, and this isn't about labelling. It's about pattern recognition. Once you understand the phases, you can stop blaming yourself, protect your boundaries, and make informed decisions instead of reacting in survival mode. 📌 This episode contains discussions around family violence. Support numbers are listed below. ⏱️ Episode Timeline00:00 Divorcing a Narcissist – What to Expect & Why It's Different 01:50 Narcissistic Traits in Divorce and Separation 02:34 Phase One: Love Bombing, Guilt Tripping & Emotional Manipulation 03:50 How Narcissists Use Legal Delays and Manipulation 07:51 Phase Two: Control Tactics, Hoovering & Threats 11:57 Setting Boundaries When Divorcing a Narcissist 14:22 Phase Three: Smear Campaigns & Image Management Tactics 16:16 How to Protect Yourself Before Things Escalate 18:23 The Financial Motives Behind 50/50 Parenting Claims 18:36 Unethical Family Court Reports & Image Control 19:54 Social Media Smear Campaigns and Reputation Control 22:18 Financial Abuse Through Control and Delay Tactics 26:18 Using Children as Pawns in High-Conflict Divorce 28:47 Manipulating the Legal System After Separation 30:48 Post-Separation Abuse: Chaos and Control After Court 32:42 Final Support, Safety Planning & What to Do Next 🔗 Links & Resources Support Services (Australia)
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1V23F0O5yhQt9NFLPOu6uJ?si=ZkP-KquxREeTCyQPk8I-TA
Resources
This episode is for education only and not legal advice. Please seek your own independent legal support based on your circumstances. 🎧 Don't forget to follow, rate & review!If this episode helped you, please share it — you never know who else needs to hear this before they get blindsided. | |||
| Are We De Facto? What It Could Mean for Property, Proof, Time Limits & Your Potential Rights in Australia | 31 Dec 2025 | 00:37:10 | |
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What exactly does it mean to be de facto in Australia? And why does it matter so much when you separate? We break down the difference between being married and being de facto, the rules around the two-year relationship requirement, how children change everything, and what happens with short vs long relationships. We also talk through what happens when one person denies the relationship ever existed, how to prove your timeline, and the evidence the court takes most seriously from finances to living arrangements to social media and everything in between. If you've ever thought "Are we de facto? Does this count? What does this mean for my rights?" this episode will give you clarity, confidence and the facts that might help you in your situation. 📌 This is general information only. Always seek your own legal support for your exact situation. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – What Is a De Facto Relationship in Australia? 00:28 – Understanding the Term 'De Facto' Under the Family Law Act 01:16 – Why De Facto Status Matters for Property and Parenting 01:47 – How to Prove You're in a De Facto Relationship 03:50 – Common Myths About De Facto Relationships (Debunked) 06:46 – Short vs Long De Facto Relationships: What's the Difference? 17:45 – How Having Children Impacts De Facto Separation 19:16 – Contributions in De Facto Relationships Explained 19:49 – Proving a De Facto Relationship: Evidence That Helps 21:44 – What Evidence Can Be Used to Show a De Facto Relationship? 24:11 – Mediation Options When Your Ex Denies the Relationship 26:55 – Can You Be Married and De Facto at the Same Time? 33:31 – Clarifying the Rules Between Marriage vs De Facto 34:39 – Final Thoughts: Understanding Your Status and Next Steps 🔗 Links & Resources "Before You Go" Checklist – thedivorcecourse.com.au Episodes Mentioned Separated Under one Roof Episode https://youtu.be/er5qlClqOGs?si=o6f2apVsjWNHE_ID Beyond the Split Understanding Separation Dates https://youtu.be/HDL4mhO94TY?si=1aUlslHr4xGqL_dN Future Needs https://youtu.be/_-5JlRLCNxY?si=YQKBsqG2cCAEVNqs Cheating and Dating during Divorce https://youtu.be/kBOV2sRtq7E?si=SlAgBVMkwf-LoaMU
🚨 Support Services (Australia)
📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for education only and not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support based on your circumstances. 🎧 Don't forget to follow, rate & review! If this episode helped you, please share it you never know who else needs this clarity.
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| Dating During Divorce: What the Family Court Really Thinks About New Relationships | 24 Dec 2025 | 00:47:22 | |
Listen to this episode if…
Wondering if it's okay to date while your divorce is still in progress? You're not alone. Whether you've just met someone new, or your ex is already flaunting their next relationship, we break down how new partners can influence family law outcomes in both parenting and property matters. We cover the risks, realities, and misconceptions about what the court actually looks at and how to protect your position without putting your future on hold. 📌 Please remember this episode is for general information only and does not replace individual legal or safety advice. For immediate support in Australia, contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732.
🔑 Episode Timeline: [00:00] Introduction: How New Relationships Can Impact Your Divorce Case [01:13] Important Legal Disclaimer and Emotional Trigger Warnings [02:02] Can a New Partner Affect Your Property Settlement in Divorce? [09:35] Understanding No-Fault Divorce and How History Shaped Today's Rules [15:11] Spousal Maintenance: Does Repartnering Change Eligibility? [19:50] Child Support Implications When a New Partner Has Money [22:11] Parenting Orders and Custody: What Role Do New Partners Play? [25:25] How the Court Prioritizes Children's Welfare Over Relationship Status [26:03] When (and How) to Introduce Your Kids to a New Partner [28:13] Coercive Control, Repartnering, and Family Court Considerations [30:05] What Are New Partners Responsible for in a Family Law Context? [31:46] Red Flags: What Family Court Looks for in New Relationships [33:34] Raising Concerns About New Partners Without Going to Court [39:43] How to Document and Present Concerns the Right Way [42:51] Does the Court Judge You for Repartnering During Divorce? [45:16] Final Takeaways: Moving Forward with Caution and Clarity 🔗 Links & Resources: 1800RESPECT – 24/7 Support Service Daisy App – Connect to Local Services Before you go Checklist - https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/opt-in
Example Safety plans template - https://yourtoolkit.com/resource/safety-plan-template/
Family Court Safety Plan information https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/pubs/fl/fvbpp#intro
The Purple Book https://domesticviolence.com.au/resources/the-purple-book/ Episode Links
Separated under one roof do's and don'ts https://open.spotify.com/episode/2IXSOZ8vVadbcrq10DuxG0?si=RXwC_koDSD2foKqOEIENBQ
Stuck under one roof what are your options https://open.spotify.com/episode/1i5baNjrk3XwbD1KrHC8hb?si=s-umof6ATtWWhdm893idUg
Reporting Family Violence or Coercive Control to Police https://open.spotify.com/episode/3EZwSuK51JNZjHT8r4Wzz9?si=p5MmpiUKSmC9UqHLyfMAvw
🚨 Support Services: Safe Beds RSPCA - check your state for details https://www.rspcaqld.org.au/what-we-do/save-animals/Pets%20in%20Crisis%20Program
1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia) Lifeline: 13 11 14 (Crisis Support – Australia)
📲 Don't forget to follow, rate & review the podcast if you found this episode helpful. Share it with someone who might need it too!
⚠️ Legal Disclaimer & Trigger Warning: This episode is for general education and discussion only. It is not legal advice. Always seek guidance from a qualified legal professional for your specific situation. Discussions of Family Violence and Coercive Control.
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| From Fear to Freedom: Creating a Safety Plan Before You Need One | 17 Dec 2025 | 00:33:00 | |
Listen to this episode if…
📌 Please remember this episode is for general information only and does not replace individual legal or safety advice. For immediate support in Australia, contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732. When things feel uncertain or even unsafe it's not being paranoid to think ahead. It's being prepared. In this important episode, we break down what a safety plan actually is, why it matters, and how to build one tailored to your situation. Whether you're living with abuse, planning to leave, or simply want to feel more secure going through the Family Court, we talk through the key steps and considerations from protecting your children to securing your documents and digital life. You'll learn how safety planning can be a quiet, empowering way to take back control and set up the support you need. I also share resources, tools, and who to call if you want help doing it safely and confidentially. 🔑 Episode Timeline: From Fear to Freedom: Creating a Safety Plan Before You Need OneSafety Plans — What They Are & How to Make One 00:00 – Introduction: What is a Safety Plan and Why It Matters 02:06 – Why You Might Need a Safety Plan for Domestic Violence 03:41 – Recognising Coercive Control and Hidden Danger Signals 07:55 – Step‑by‑Step Guide to Creating Your Safety Plan 09:04 – Safety at Home: Preparing for a Potential Escape 16:33 – Safety Technology: Real‑Time Tracking and Digital Risk 16:57 – Important Documents You Should Have Ready 17:33 – Leaving Without Explanation: When It's Necessary 18:10 – The Power of Code Words and Communication Safety 19:20 – Planning Your Escape Route: Fast and Safe Exits 20:11 – Handling Vehicle Safety and Transport During Escape 23:29 – Keeping Your Pets Safe During an Escape Plan 24:22 – Work, Online and Tech Safety Measures 27:00 – Staying Safe After Leaving a Violent Situation 27:56 – Legal Steps to Support Your Safety Plan 30:58 – Final Thoughts: You Are Not Alone — Support Is Available 🔗 Links & Resources: 1800RESPECT – 24/7 Support Service Daisy App – Connect to Local Services Before you go Checklist - https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/opt-in
Example Safety plans template - https://yourtoolkit.com/resource/safety-plan-template/
Family Court Safety Plan information https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/pubs/fl/fvbpp#intro
The Purple Book https://domesticviolence.com.au/resources/the-purple-book/
Episode Links Who gets the Car in the long and short term https://open.spotify.com/episode/7CmoF5nrBhVfDlJgVyXlGp?si=uXtMvH1dRoG74CSd-7pD9w Separated under one roof do's and don'ts https://open.spotify.com/episode/2IXSOZ8vVadbcrq10DuxG0?si=RXwC_koDSD2foKqOEIENBQ Stuck under one roof what are your options https://open.spotify.com/episode/1i5baNjrk3XwbD1KrHC8hb?si=s-umof6ATtWWhdm893idUg Reporting Family Violence or Coercive Control to Police https://open.spotify.com/episode/3EZwSuK51JNZjHT8r4Wzz9?si=p5MmpiUKSmC9UqHLyfMAvw 🚨 Support Services: Safe Beds RSPCA - check your state for details https://www.rspcaqld.org.au/what-we-do/save-animals/Pets%20in%20Crisis%20Program 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia) ⚠️ Legal Disclaimer & Trigger Warning: This episode is for general education and discussion only. It is not legal advice. Always seek guidance from a qualified legal professional for your specific situation. Discussions of Family Violence and Coercive Control. | |||
| Divorce Holiday Survival Guide: How to Communicate When It's Complicated | 09 Dec 2025 | 00:49:30 | |
💡 Listen to this episode if...
⚠️ Legal Disclaimer & Trigger Warning: This episode is for general education and discussion only. It is not legal advice. Always seek guidance from a qualified legal professional for your specific situation. Discussions of Family Violence and Coercive Control. Holidays can bring joy, but during separation or divorce, it can also bring stress, confusion, and conflict. If you're dreading the tough conversations this holiday season, you're not alone and this episode is here to help. Mum and I walk through how to manage communication with all the key players during the festive period: your co-parent, your lawyer, your kids, extended family, and even the courts or police. Whether you're trying to set healthy boundaries, stuck living under one roof, or bracing for something to blow up we've got practical strategies to get you through it. ⏱️ Episode Timeline: 00:00 – Introduction: Navigating the Holidays During Divorce 01:52 – Communication Challenges for Divorcing Couples During the Holidays 03:10 – Should You Talk to Your Divorce Lawyer Over the Holiday Break? 06:00 – Co-Parenting Holiday Conflicts & Practical Solutions 13:19 – Managing Property Settlements During the Holiday Season 18:33 – Living Together While Separated: How to Handle the Holidays 22:55 – How to Communicate Holiday Plans with Your Kids During Divorce 26:44 – When to Reach Out to the Court During Holiday Disputes 26:57 – Understanding Court Closures & Delays Over the Holidays 28:06 – Urgent Divorce Matters: Emergency Contacts & What to Do 28:41 – How to Document Incidents for Court During the Holidays 29:16 – Handling Non-Emergency Divorce or Co-Parenting Issues 33:26 – When to Contact the Police During Divorce or Custody Conflicts 37:46 – Setting Boundaries with Family During a Holiday Divorce 39:16 – Creating Emergency Plans & Safety Measures 44:47 – Mental Health Tips for Coping with Divorce During the Holidays 47:04 – Engaging with Your Community for Support 48:07 – Final Thoughts & Holiday Farewell
Resources Central Practice Directions https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd
Free Disclosure Checklist https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist
Episode Links
From no no no to Ho Ho ho in your divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/3K7q02MlJr1VRteK7uJyTe?si=C1dm9sHMTV2NUuagpYllWw
Christmas & CoParenting https://open.spotify.com/episode/3fcY2B7N0lDo8U1WAqozVz?si=i_RzkSgMSPSbMT4ZeZqDVA
Separated for the Holidays How to deal with it emotionally https://open.spotify.com/episode/4zzVKOc0LJY3uZhnLXfiJC?si=LT0sg7wMT3OACnFHOER8AA
CoParenting without Court Orders https://open.spotify.com/episode/05BC7rliGHpKcQ58JJzZej?si=iKR82uY6S2G-SF_XHeltQA
Handover Hell https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Pskjns3vZkLyv9FCefvxm?si=v8ILJ4p3Qi6dycn4WhEv4g
Separated under one roof do's and don'ts https://open.spotify.com/episode/2IXSOZ8vVadbcrq10DuxG0?si=RXwC_koDSD2foKqOEIENBQ
Stuck under one roof what are your options https://open.spotify.com/episode/1i5baNjrk3XwbD1KrHC8hb?si=s-umof6ATtWWhdm893idUg
Reporting Family Violence or Coercive Control to Police https://open.spotify.com/episode/3EZwSuK51JNZjHT8r4Wzz9?si=p5MmpiUKSmC9UqHLyfMAvw
🚨 Support Services: 1800 RESPECT (Family Violence Support – Australia)
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