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304: Attachment Theory & Relationships with Dr. Thais Gibson12 Oct 202601:00:04

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Sign up for Shane's free live training "What Do You Actually Do in a Couples Intensive? The 4 Cs in Action" on October 16, 2026 at Noon ET here: https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_lCoPXtPfTxaP_s2ATDr98Q 

Sign up for Shane's 6-week live training program, Couples Therapy Intensives: The Blueprint, before it starts on October 27, 2026 here: https://cit.shanebirkel.com/blueprint

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Thais Gibson about attachment theory & relationships. Thais is a Relationship Expert, Co-Founder of The Personal Development School, and Author of 3 books on attachment theory. Hear why it helps to understand why we feel stuck, how influential attachment theory is on our lives, how to explore core wounds with your clients, how to set up goals with your clients, and how to help your clients find their truth.

 

To learn more about Dr. Thais Gibson, visit:

PersonalDevelopmentSchool.com

YouTube @ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

Instagram @ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

 

303: Are You Practicing the Way You Actually Want to Practice? With Shane Birkel06 Oct 202600:25:19

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Sign up for Shane's 6-week live training program, Couples Therapy Intensives: The Blueprint, before it starts on October 27, 2026 here: https://cit.shanebirkel.com/blueprint

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this solo episode, Shane poses the question: Are you practicing the way you actually want to practice? Hear how to think outside the box when it comes to your couples therapy practice, why we should question the traditional couples therapy model, what your clients will think if you start offering intensives, the difference between competency & certainty when it comes to couples therapy, and how to get over what's holding you back as a couples therapist.

302: Guilt & Relationships with Dr. Jennifer Reid01 Oct 202600:51:04

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Sign up for Shane's free live training "Beyond the 50-Minute Session: How to Start Offering Couples Therapy Intensives" on October 2, 2026 at Noon ET here: https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_WPzz0aBYTlObz31MdlDpKg 

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Jennifer Reid about guilt & relationships. Jennifer is a board-certified psychiatrist, award-winning educator, creator and host of A Mind of Her Own podcast and Substack, and the author of Guilt Free: Reclaiming Your Life from Unreasonable Expectations. Hear how women & men tend to experience guilt differently, what to do when there's seemingly no way to satisfy your guilt, how guilt often shows up in relationships, how to avoid losing your voice in your relationship, and how boundaries relate to guilt.

 

To learn more about Dr. Jennifer Reid and Guilt Free: Reclaiming Your Life from Unreasonable Expectations, visit:

JenniferReidMD.com

 

301: Longer Therapy Sessions with Shane Birkel21 Sep 202600:18:25

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Sign up for Shane's free live training "Beyond the 50-Minute Session: How to Start Offering Couples Therapy Intensives" on October 2, 2026 at Noon ET here: https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_WPzz0aBYTlObz31MdlDpKg

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this solo episode, Shane talks longer therapy sessions. Hear why couples therapists need to be working in longer sessions when meeting with couples, what to do if you run out of time in a couples therapy session, why you should focus on the betrayer first in an affair, why couples therapy is a very difficult art form, and how long couples therapy intensives should be.

300: Brave Love, Great Sex with Dr. Laurie Watson & George Faller14 Sep 202600:42:19

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Laurie Watson & George Faller about Brave Love, Great Sex. Laurie is an internationally recognized sex therapist, couples counselor, and educator with over 35 years of experience helping people heal their most intimate relationships. George is a husband, father, therapist, educator, speaker, author, and global leader in helping people reconnect and strengthen their relationships. Their latest book is Brave Love, Great Sex: Harnessing Attachment Theory for Passionate Relationships. Hear the sexual side of attachment theory, the 3 systems in a romantic relationship, how to work with clients where only 1 partner wants to have sex, the role of compassion when it comes to sex, and the safety couples therapists provide to clients when talking about sex.

 

To learn more about Dr. Laurie Watson & George Faller, visit:

LaurieWatson.com

GeorgeFaller.com

Brave Love, Great Sex Book & Podcast

 

You can also listen to George Faller on Episode 47 of The Couples Therapist Couch

 

299: Understanding Shame with Dr. Frank Spinelli07 Sep 202600:51:47

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Frank Spinelli about understanding shame. Frank is a Physician, Health Coach, Author, and passionate advocate whose groundbreaking work bridges healthcare, storytelling, and social justice. His latest book is The Shame Compass: A Radical Framework for Trauma Healing and Self-Acceptance. Hear why shame is like a beach ball, why there's nothing positive about toxic shame, why guilt can be healthy for couples, what happens with adults who were shamed as a kid, and the top reasons women & men feel shame.

 

To learn more about Dr. Frank Spinelli, visit:

FrankSpinelli.com

The Shame Compass: A Radical Framework for Trauma Healing and Self-Acceptance

 

298: Part 2: The Tao of Love, Sex, and Deep Intimacy with Arjuna Ardagh02 Sep 202600:55:19

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this Part 2 of 2, Shane talks with Arjuna Ardagh about The Tao of Love, Sex, and Deep Intimacy. Arjuna supports couples in the practice of conscious relationships and Taoist sexual practices. Hear how to help couples deepen their sense of truth in the world, what to do when partners have different levels of sexual desire, the most common ways couples start relationships, how to help partners share what they truly want with each other, and how couples can practice these concepts at home.

 

To learn more about Arjuna Ardagh and The Tao of Love, Sex, and Deep Intimacy, visit:

TaoOfDeepIntimacy.com

Instagram @TheTaoOfDeepIntimacy

 

297: Part 1: The Tao of Love, Sex, and Deep Intimacy with Arjuna Ardagh01 Sep 202600:47:55

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this Part 1 of 2, Shane talks with Arjuna Ardagh about The Tao of Love, Sex, and Deep Intimacy. Arjuna supports couples in the practice of conscious relationships and Taoist sexual practices. Hear how he became so in love with love, his unique approach with couples, the history of relationships, helpful exercises related to Taoism, and the difference between healthy connection & codependence.

 

To learn more about Arjuna Ardagh and The Tao of Love, Sex, and Deep Intimacy, visit:

TaoOfDeepIntimacy.com

Instagram @TheTaoOfDeepIntimacy

 

296: How to Apologize with Harriet Lerner25 Aug 202600:46:21

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with Harriet Lerner about how to apologize. Harriet is one of the most respected voices in the psychology of women, and the "how-tos" of navigating the swamps and quicksands of difficult relationships. She is the author of 12 books published in 35 languages. Hear why apologies are so important, the ways people ruin their apologies, what a good apology requires of us, the differences in how men & women apologize, and how to navigate a client who refuses to apologize.

 

To learn more about Harriet Lerner, visit:

HarrietLerner.com

Why Won't You Apologize? Book

Why Won't He Apologize? | Harriet Lerner | TEDxKC

 

You can also listen to Harriet Lerner on Episode 27 of The Couples Therapist Couch

295: Why You Keep Reacting That Way and How to Stop with Shane Birkel18 Aug 202600:40:21

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this solo episode, Shane talks why you keep reacting that way and how to stop. Hear the difference between your authentic self & your unconscious programming, how our brain creates shortcuts & patterns to protect us, how to find the real Truth of your clients, how to help your clients understand where their feelings & actions are coming from, and how to help your clients come home to themselves.

294: Attachment Styles with Annie Chen13 Aug 202600:48:34

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with Annie Chen about attachment styles. Annie is an author, therapist, consultant, and coach who holds 2 master's degrees in counseling and psychology. With over 17 years dedicated to studying the mind, nervous systems, and relationships, she has developed a unique approach to relationships and working with people. Hear why attachment theory is so important, how we develop our attachment styles, how to approach attachment styles with your clients, the danger of talking in absolutes, and how much to dive into family of origin work.

 

To learn more about Annie Chen, visit:

AnnieChen.net

AttachmentQuiz.com

The Attachment Theory Workbook

I Want to Connect

Instagram @AnnieChenLMFT

 

You can also listen to Annie Chen on Episode 90 of The Couples Therapist Couch

293: Surviving Betrayal with LaDonna Carey17 Jul 202600:46:53

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with LaDonna Carey about Surviving Betrayal. LaDonna is a Betrayal Recovery Specialist, Therapist, Trainer, and the Author of Surviving Betrayal: A Path to Healing from Betrayal and Abandonment. Hear why betrayal is so hard to navigate, how to help your clients have these conversations even with anger coming through, how to work with both the betrayer and the betrayed, why intensive sessions are more effective in cases of betrayal, and how to be conscious of your own biases as a couples therapist.

 

To learn more about LaDonna Carey & Surviving Betrayal, visit:

Surviving Betrayal Book

Smoky Mountains Symposium on Relational Trauma

LaDonnaCarey.com

LaDonnaCarey.Substack.com

 

You can also listen to LaDonna Carey on Episode 179 & Episode 143 of The Couples Therapist Couch

 

292: It's Not about the Dishes with Shane Birkel19 Jun 202600:31:03

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Sign up for the June 2026 Cohort of Shane's Certified Couples Intensive Training (CIT): https://cit.shanebirkel.com/

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this solo episode, Shane talks why it's not about the dishes. Hear why most of our emotional reactions aren't about what's happening right now, how to recognize carried emotions vs. present emotions, a modern look at our survival strategies, whether to do family of origin work with your clients, and why emotions often come up in financial conversations.

291: Truth & Love with Shane Birkel05 Jun 202600:42:43

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Sign up for the June 2026 Cohort of Shane's Certified Couples Intensive Training (CIT): https://cit.shanebirkel.com/

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this solo episode, Shane talks truth & love. Hear why relationships are so hard, why we present the edited version of ourselves to our partner at first, how to help your clients show their true selves, how truth & love tie into The 4 Cs of Relationships, and how deep to go into family history with your clients.

290: Embracing Your Couples Therapist Identity with Susan Saint-Rossy20 May 202600:43:08

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Sign up for the June 2026 Cohort of Shane's Certified Couples Intensive Training (CIT): https://cit.shanebirkel.com/

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with Susan Saint-Rossy about embracing your couples therapist identity. Susan is a Couples Therapist and the Owner of Couples Therapist Studio, where she's a Business and Marketing Consultant for couples therapists. Hear how to run your business as a couples therapist, what clients look for when considering a couples therapist, how to create the signal that makes your practice pop, how to advertise as a couples therapist, and why you should be charging more.

To learn more about Susan Saint-Rossy, visit:

CouplesTherapistStudio.com

Relationship-Therapist.com

289: Working with Couples Who Get Escalated with Shane Birkel28 Apr 202600:23:53

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Sign up for the June 2026 Cohort of Shane's Certified Couples Intensive Training (CIT): https://cit.shanebirkel.com/

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this solo episode, Shane talks working with couples who get escalated. Hear some common questions people are wondering about in couples therapy today, how to work with a partner who doesn't want to be in couples therapy, what to do if one partner is more invested than the other, what to do if things get escalated during an intensive or any type of couples therapy session, and how to market intensives to both your existing & new clients.

288: Relationship Repair with Shane Birkel21 Apr 202600:27:29

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Sign up for the June 2026 Cohort of Shane's Certified Couples Intensive Training (CIT): https://cit.shanebirkel.com/

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this solo episode, Shane talks relationship repair. Hear why repair is one of the most underrated skills in a relationship, the research experiments behind relationship repair, why the rupture is inevitable, why repair is so hard for so many couples, and how to help your clients build their capacity for repair.

287: Relationships & AI with Trevor White14 Apr 202600:44:30

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Sign up for the webinar Inside a Couples Intensive: The 4 C's in Action on Thursday, April 16, 2026: https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_P24AEVQEQBOclzxNokvrEQ

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with Trevor White about relationships & AI. Trevor is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the Founder of Constellation Therapy, a practice focused on infidelity recovery. Hear how infidelity is changing in the Age of AI, how to help couples agree on the rules of their relationship, how to manage AI interactions responsibly, what language to avoid as a couples therapist, and the AI tools valuable for couples therapists today.

To learn more about Trevor White and Constellation Therapy, visit:

TrevorWhiteTherapy.com

ConstellationTherapySeattle.com

286: Working with Trauma & Couples Therapy with Dr. Janina Fisher06 Apr 202600:49:03

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Sign up for the webinar Inside a Couples Intensive: The 4 C's in Action on Thursday, April 16, 2026: https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_P24AEVQEQBOclzxNokvrEQ

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Janina Fisher about working with trauma & couples therapy. Janina is an Author, Clinical Psychologist, and Educator on the forefront in the field of trauma. Hear how trauma & therapy have changed over the years, how to help your clients without triggering them, why you need to use a therapy model your clients like, the similarities between therapy & parenting, and how to validate your clients' experiences.

To learn more about Dr. Janina Fisher, visit:

JaninaFisher.com

Janina's Latest Book: Embracing Our Fragmented Selves: A Workbook for Trauma Survivors and Therapists

You can also listen to Dr. Janina Fisher on Episode 252 & Episode 115 of The Couples Therapist Couch

285: Intensives & Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) with Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen31 Mar 202600:54:39

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen about intensives & Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Rebecca is a Supervisor & Trainer for EFT, and one of the leaders for teaching the EFT model. Hear why intensives are a helpful way to provide safety & security for your clients, why you should do your own work as a couples therapist, how to be supportive to both partners at the same time, how to be gentle in the way you communicate with clients, and why couples therapy is some of the most rewarding work ever.

To learn more about Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen and her trainings, visit:

DrRebeccaJorgensen.com

EFTCounseling.org

Facebook & Instagram @EFTDoc

Emotionally Focused Therapy Group Facebook Group

You can also listen to Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen on Episode 271 & Episode 67 of The Couples Therapist Couch

284: Connection: The 4 Cs in Relationships with Shane Birkel26 Mar 202600:40:13

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this solo episode, Shane dives into Connection as part of his mini-series, The 4 Cs in Relationships. Hear how containing boundaries & protective boundaries work in relationships, the difference between codependence & healthy connection, why so many couples struggle to get back to the honeymoon phase, how to help your clients develop true intimacy & connection, and your job as it relates to your partner.

283: Compassion: The 4 Cs in Relationships with Shane Birkel23 Mar 202600:26:39

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this solo episode, Shane dives into Compassion as part of his mini-series, The 4 Cs in Relationships. Hear why compassion is tied so closely to shame, how to view shame vs. guilt, what to do when a client is struggling with shame, the 3 ways of pursuing self-esteem, and how much is a healthy amount of comparing yourself to others.

282: Curiosity: The 4 Cs in Relationships with Shane Birkel19 Mar 202600:36:56

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this solo episode, Shane dives into Curiosity as part of his mini-series, The 4 Cs in Relationships. Hear why being a couples therapist can feel like being a judge, how to help shift your clients' mindsets to curiosity, how to work on the ability to slow down, why strong emotions are okay, and why timeouts can be great in couples therapy.

281: Consciousness: The 4 Cs in Relationships with Shane Birkel17 Mar 202600:34:57

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this solo episode, Shane dives into Consciousness as part of his mini-series, The 4 Cs in Relationships. Hear what consciousness really is, the different types of awareness to explore with your clients, what to do when a client breaks down from their emotions, the role of a partner when it comes to consciousness, and how to navigate emotions from childhood.

280: The 4 Cs in Relationships with Shane Birkel09 Mar 202600:27:44

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/

In this solo episode, Shane shares the 4 Cs in relationships. Hear the common patterns couples get into, how to have compassion for each partner's reality, how to help your clients keep curiosity in their relationship, why it's okay for couples to disagree with each other, and what to say to your clients regarding each of the 4 Cs.

279: Why Do I Keep Doing This? with Kati Morton03 Mar 202600:48:07

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

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In this episode, Shane talks with Kati Morton about Why Do I Keep Doing This?: Unlearn the Habits Keeping You Stuck and Unhappy. Kati is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), Media Personality, and Author. Hear why our inner dialogue isn't always correct, how to help your clients get unstuck, the importance of working on yourself, why it's okay to have healthy differences, and the difference between love & codependence.

To learn more about Kati Morton, her latest book Why Do I Keep Doing This?, and her podcast Ask Kati Anything, visit:

KatiMorton.com

@KatiMorton on YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram

 

278: When Weekly Couples Therapy Isn't Enough with Shane Birkel23 Feb 202600:26:56

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In this solo episode, Shane talks what to do when weekly couples therapy isn't enough. Hear the pros & cons of therapy intensives, why 50-minute sessions are still the standard in couples therapy, how to get to the heart of the matter with your clients, how much to ramp up & wind down the conversation with your clients, and how to find what session length is right for your clients.

277: When Work Stress Impacts the Relationship with Guy Winch16 Feb 202600:46:01

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In this episode, Shane talks with Guy Winch about when work stress impacts the relationship. Guy is a Psychologist, Speaker, and Author who's a leading advocate for integrating the science of emotional health into our daily lives. Hear why it's hard to leave work at work, how work stress works, how to help your clients separate work stress from home life, how much to structure your week, and what we can learn from firefighters.

To learn more about Guy Winch, his latest book Mind Over Grind, and his podcast Dear Therapists, visit:

GuyWinch.com

Mind Over Grind

Dear Therapists

You can also listen to Guy Winch on Episode 202 of The Couples Therapist Couch

276: The Myth of Effortless Connection with Shane Birkel10 Feb 202600:28:17

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In this solo episode, Shane talks the myth of effortless connection. Hear how to help couples who just don't feel connected anymore, how to get each person to speak through their feelings, what the healthiest relationships do best, how to slow things down with clients, and how to create a sense of safety in relationships.

275: Internal Family Systems (IFS) & Couples with Liz Phillips03 Feb 202600:49:04

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In this episode, Shane talks with Liz Phillips about Internal Family Systems (IFS) & Couples. Liz is a therapist trained in Sensorimotor Psychotherapy (SP), Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and IFS. Hear what's so unique about IFS, how it avoids common vicious cycles, how to move your clients to focus on themselves first, how to create clarity for your clients, and why every therapist should do their own therapy.

To learn more about Liz Phillips & IFS, visit:

LizPhillipsTherapy.Ca

IFS-Institute.com

 

274: 7 Steps to Move Beyond Your Painful Past with Katherine Woodward Thomas27 Jan 202600:48:31

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In this episode, Shane talks with Katherine Woodward Thomas about What's True About You: 7 Steps to Move Beyond Your Painful Past and Manifest Your Brightest Future. Katherine is a licensed therapist, recognized pioneer in transformational psychology, and The New York Times bestselling author of Calling in "The One" and Conscious Uncoupling. Hear how consciousness plays into couples therapy, what to do when your clients feel stuck, how to prevent them from losing out on love, what you can learn from imagining yourself as a child, and where healing happens.

To learn more about Katherine Woodward Thomas, Conscious Uncoupling, and What's True About You: 7 Steps to Move Beyond Your Painful Past and Manifest Your Brightest Future, visit:

KatherineWoodwardThomas.com

ConsciousUncoupling.com

PenguinRandomHouse.com

You can also listen to Katherine Woodward Thomas on Episode 269 of The Couples Therapist Couch

273: Working with Infidelity in Couples Therapy with Shane Birkel23 Dec 202500:53:45

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In this solo episode, Shane talks working with infidelity in couples therapy. Hear why every infidelity case is different, how to initiate the work with your clients, whether it's appropriate to give a timeline, why the guilt is so crucial, and what to coach each partner to do.

272: Common Sexual Issues in Couples Therapy with Adrien Monti16 Dec 202500:52:36

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

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In this episode, Shane talks with Adrien Monti about common sexual issues in couples therapy. Rebecca is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), Couples Therapist, and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist. Hear how to become a sex therapist, how to get comfortable talking about sex with your clients, the most common issues when it comes to sex & couples therapy, when to refer your clients to a sex therapist, and whether you should schedule sex.

To learn more about Adrien Monti, visit:

InnerFlameCounseling.com

271: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) with Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen09 Dec 202500:53:06

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In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen about Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Rebecca is a Supervisor & Trainer for EFT, and one of the leaders for teaching the EFT model. Hear why you should consider the EFT model, how to stay grounded as a couples therapist, how to stop your clients from arguing, why self-compassion can be the key to helping your clients, and where to get good EFT support.

To learn more about Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen and her trainings, visit:

DrRebeccaJorgensen.com

Facebook & Instagram @EFTDoc

Emotionally Focused Therapy Group Facebook Group

270: Attachment Patterns & Secure Relationships with Jessica Baum01 Dec 202500:45:59

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In this episode, Shane talks with Jessica Baum about attachment patterns & secure relationships. Jessica is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) and the Author of the new book, Safe: An Attachment-Informed Guide to Building More Secure Relationships. Hear the 4 attachment styles, what causes different types of attachment, how to help your clients develop compassion from themselves, how to use attachment insights with your clients, and why we rely on protectors.

To learn more about Jessica Baum and her book, Safe, visit:

JessicaBaumLMHC.com

JessicaBaumLMHC.com/Safe

JessicaBaumLMHC.com/Interview

Instagram @JessicaBaumLMHC

 

269: Conscious Uncoupling with Katherine Woodward Thomas24 Nov 202500:49:02

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

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In this episode, Shane talks with Katherine Woodward Thomas about Conscious Uncoupling. Katherine is a licensed therapist, recognized pioneer in transformational psychology, and The New York Times bestselling author of Calling in "The One" and Conscious Uncoupling. How to help your clients navigate the shame of failing in a relationship, why finding a great partner comes from within you, how to gently direct questions towards your clients, whether couples therapy works better with one or both partners in the room, and how to shift the language you use when working with clients. 

To learn more about Katherine Woodward Thomas and Conscious Uncoupling, visit:

KatherineWoodwardThomas.com

ConsciousUncoupling.com

268: Change Your Questions, Change Your Future with Elliott Connie17 Nov 202500:44:45

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In this episode, Shane talks with Elliott Connie about Change Your Questions, Change Your Future. Elliott is a Psychotherapist, Author, Podcaster, and Trailblazer in Solution-Focused Therapy. Hear how to take care of yourself as a couples therapist, why Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) is helpful, how to help your clients find inspiration, how to remind your clients who they are & what they want, and how to practice as a couples therapist.

To learn more about Elliott Connie, The Solution Focused Universe, his podcasts, and Change Your Questions, Change Your Future, visit:

ElliottConnie.com

TheSFU.com

ElliottConnie.com/Books

Instagram & Facebook @ElliottSpeaks

YouTube @ElliottConnieSpeaks

 

You can also listen to Elliott on Episode 96 & Episode 154 of The Couples Therapist Couch

267: So Much More than Listening with Shane Birkel13 Nov 202500:40:10

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

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In this solo episode, Shane talks what it really means to be the listener. Hear the listening skills we should all learn, when to be the speaker vs. listener, what to do when your clients are having a hard time being the listener, why affair recovery requires a ton of listening, and the importance of taking a timeout when arguing.

266: Enneagram & Relationships with Christa Hardin03 Nov 202500:53:21

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

 

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In this episode, Shane talks with Christa Hardin about the Enneagram & relationships. Christa is a Therapist, Host of the Enneagram and Marriage podcast, and Author of The Enneagram in Marriage. Hear how to use the Enneagram to help with your therapy clients, the 9 personality types, which personality type makes the best therapists, what the Enneagram can tell your clients about their relationship & compatibility, and why it's helpful to start with your own personality type.

 

To learn more about Christa Hardin, her Enneagram and Marriage podcast, and The Enneagram in Marriage book, visit:

EnneagramAndMarriage.com

Instagram @EnneagramAndMarriage

265: Consciousness in Relationships with Shane Birkel28 Oct 202500:16:36

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In this solo episode, Shane talks consciousness in relationships. Hear why we're all pure love at our core, why we question ourselves in relationships, why every relationship is a paradox, how to find conscious love, and how to speak from a place of awareness.

264: Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids with Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy20 Oct 202500:55:01

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more

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In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy about Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids. Rebecca is a certified sex therapist, couples therapist, and author who helps individuals & couples strengthen emotional bonds, overcome desire differences, and rediscover pleasure & closeness in their relationships. Hear why it's completely normal for partners to have a difference in desire after having kids, which partner to focus more heavily on as a couples therapist, why the pursuer-withdrawer dynamic often flip-flops in the bedroom, the perks of sensate focus, and the homework to give your clients as it relates to sex.

To learn more about Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy and her book, Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids, visit:

RebeccaEudy.com

RebeccaEudy.com/Parents-in-Love

 

263: Communication in Couples Therapy with Shane Birkel13 Oct 202500:34:31

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In this solo episode, Shane talks communication in couples therapy. Hear how to help your clients get back to basics with communication, the correct ways to be a speaker and listener, why communication often breaks down for couples, why we naturally get defensive, and the importance of getting consent from your partner.

 

262: Helping Couples during Their Transition to Parenthood with Kelly Bourque07 Oct 202500:50:38

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In this episode, Shane talks with Kelly Bourque about helping couples during their transition to parenthood. Kelly is an Emotionally Focused Therapy Supervisor (EFT) & Relational Health Advocate. Hear what you should talk about with couples before they have a baby, the need for pre-baby counseling, what happens when couples put their entire focus on the baby, how to help couples navigate the immense stress of having a baby, and the importance of parents being a team.

To learn more about Kelly Bourque, visit:

RedTherapyGroup.com

261: Healing Our Core Issues (HOCI) in Couples Therapy with Shane Birkel29 Sep 202500:48:46

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In this solo episode, Shane talks Healing Our Core Issues (HOCI) in couples therapy. Hear what Shane learned from the training he went to led by Jan Bergstrom & Dr. Rick Butts, why the HOCI model is helpful, the 6 core birthrights every human being has, how to start working with a new couple, and why it's healthy to be concerned you messed up as a parent.

260: Wise Effort with Dr. Diana Hill25 Sep 202500:49:11

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In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Diana Hill about Wise Effort. Diana is a clinical psychologist, international trainer, and sought-out speaker on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and compassion. Hear how to practice Wise Effort, how to help your clients create a stronger connection with their partner, the most common types of regret, why people lose connection with the things they want, and why you should find a tree.

To learn more about Dr. Diana Hill, her book Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and her programs, visit:

WiseEffort.com

 

259: Infidelity with Dr. Ellyn Bader16 Sep 202500:42:16

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In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Ellyn Bader about infidelity. Ellyn is an Author, Creator of The Developmental Model, Co-Founder of The Couples Institute, and one of the early founders of couples therapy itself. Hear how she created the concept of couples therapy, how the development of a couple's relationship mirrors the development of a child, the top reasons people have an affair, how to start working with a couple that went through an infidelity, and what to do when a couple is stuck at any stage of infidelity work.

To learn more about Dr. Ellyn Bader and her trainings, visit:

CouplesInstitute.com

 

You can also listen to Ellyn on Episode 49 & Episode 153 of The Couples Therapist Couch

258: Working with Men in Couples Therapy with Shane Birkel08 Sep 202500:35:05

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In this solo episode, Shane talks working with men in couples therapy. Hear the perks of 1-day intensives, the common differences between men & women when it comes to couples therapy, how to help men truly listen in their relationship, how to identify moments to slow down and do some deeper work, and when it's okay to not say anything as a couples therapist.

257: Emotional Repair with Andrea Dindinger25 Aug 202500:47:52

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In this episode, Shane talks with Andrea Dindinger about emotional repair. Andrea is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the Creator of Relationship Reboot: The Ultimate Couple's Training to Reignite Your Relationship and Transform How You Communicate. Hear how to help couples repair emotional disconnect, how to come up with an emotional repair plan, the importance of taking ownership & accountability in a relationship, when to bookmark conversations for a better time, and the benefits of talking through everything in your head with your partner.

To learn more about Andrea Dindinger and her courses, visit:

TherapyWithAndrea.Love

 

256: Brain Science & Attachment with Dr. Dan Siegel19 Aug 202500:54:26

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In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Dan Siegel about brain science & attachment. Dan is the Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, Executive Director of the Mindsight Institute, and Author of numerous books & articles on mindfulness & neurobiology. Hear how interpersonal neurobiology applies to couples therapy, why our brain plays such a big part in our relationships, how much attachment influences the present, the benefits of mindfulness, and how to work on the emotional health of your clients.

To learn more about Dr. Dan Siegel, his courses, and his books, visit:

DrDanSiegel.com

MindsightInstitute.com

 

255: Resentment in Relationships with Shane Birkel11 Aug 202500:28:45

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit HelloAlma.com/ATPP to learn more

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In this solo episode, Shane talks resentment in relationships. Hear how to help couples let go of resentment, how to make healthy decisions based on compassion for your partner, what couples should do after they get past the honeymoon period, how to grieve a sacrifice you've made in your relationship, and how to help clients come up with compromises.

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