Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Hilary Waller about pregnancy, parenthood, and relationships. Hilary is a psychotherapist who supports new parents as they navigate pregnancy and parenthood. Hear the best way to support couples who are new parents, what to recommend for people who just found out they're pregnant, why community plays such a big role, how often parents should check in with each other, and the most challenging cases she's worked on. 

To learn more about Hilary and her books - Dropping the Baby and Other Scary Thoughts and The Perinatal Patient - visit:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/hilary-waller-fort-washington-pa/1251531

https://www.amazon.com/Dropping-Baby-Other-Scary-Thoughts/dp/0367223902

https://www.amazon.com/Perinatal-Patient-Compassionate-Postpartum-Depression/dp/1683736567

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Tammy Sollenberger about Internal Family Systems (IFS) and couples. Tammy is a licensed clinical mental health counselor and an Internal Family Systems Certified Supervisor. Hear the different parts we're made up of, how IFS works in our heads, how our parts trigger each other, how to recognize your feelings and characteristics, and how to stay grounded in the true foundation of a relationship.

To learn more about Tammy, The One Inside podcast, and The One Inside book, visit TammySollenberger.com

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Wendy Behary about narcissism in couples therapy. Wendy is the Bestselling Author of "Disarming the Narcissist" and the Founder and Director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC and DC. Hear how she became interested in the study of narcissism, how to approach narcissism as a therapist, how to use Schema Therapy, whether it's okay to interrupt your clients, and how to avoid getting triggered.

To learn more about Wendy and check out her book, visit:

DisarmingTheNarcissist.com

In the last few days we are seeing changes in our whole society that are bigger and happening more quickly than anything else in decades. At some point in the coming weeks, most of us will have to consider seeing clients online as restrictions continue because of the Coronavirus. 

This is a special episode with Clay Cockrell which specifically addresses the issue of moving your Couples Therapy practice online. It is a particularly helpful conversation for those who haven't practiced online before.

Clay has a podcast called The Online Counseling Podcast and an Online Counseling Directory. These can be found at onlinecounseling.com.

Clay also has a new podcast called Finding Therapy which can be found at these social media handles:

https://www.facebook.com/findingtherapy

https://www.instagram.com/findingtherapypodcast/

https://twitter.com/FindingTherapy (@findingtherapy)

Podcast: https://www.onlinecounselling.com/finding_therapy/

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The episode today is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world. 

Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to the Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention. 

Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code SHANE to get an entire year of CE courses for just $40.  They also have a number of free CE courses, too, so check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.

Most Couples Therapists understand the importance of bringing sex into the conversation in couples therapy. Unfortunately, most feel unprepared to know what questions to ask, how to make clients feel comfortable, and what to do with the information once it is part of the conversation. In this episode, Sex Therapist, Martha Kauppi and I talk all about how to do that.

Martha Kauppi has a lifelong career in sexual health, counseling, and creative education. She has been a midwife, an artist, and is currently a certified sex therapist. She is the founder of The Institute for Relational Intimacy which is committed to competence working with a full array of sex issues, including sexual health concerns, alternative sexualities, problematic sexual behavior, and LGBTQAI+ related concerns.

Check out Martha's website at instituteforrelationalintimacy.com

Martha Kauppi, surveyed over a hundred therapists about their toughest cases related to sexuality. She found that the vast majority of these tough cases revolved around desire discrepancy.
Guided by these responses, Martha crafted an in-depth article series designed to help therapists work with their toughest desire discrepancy cases. Now she's sharing it, at no charge. The five-part series will show you how to:
● Untangle the relationship between menopause and desire discrepancy
● Help higher-desire partners cope, despite frustration and resentment
● Rekindle the spark in relationships gone flat
● Break the toxic cycle of internal or external pressure that further decreases desire
● Help higher-desire female partners in heterosexual relationships deal with the shame and
embarrassment of not matching gender expectations
Get the complimentary article series delivered direct to your inbox by signing up here.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The episode today is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world. 

Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to the Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention. 

Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code SHANE to get an entire year of CE courses for just $40.  They also have a number of free CE courses, too, so check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.

In this episode, Dr. Jonice Webb sheds light on this issue and discusses how prevalent the reality of Childhood Emotional Neglect is in our society and the impact it has on people's lives and relationships. 

Dr. Jonice Webb is a recognized psychologist expert with over 25 years of experience, and the author of the best-selling books Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect and Running On Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships With Your Partner, Your Parents & Your Children.

Find out more about Jonice Webb at childhoodemotionalneglect.com

Take the Childhood Emotional Neglect Assessment

Get your copies of Running on Empty and Running on Empty No More

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The episode today is sponsored by Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed.  Clearly Clinical is the nation's premier podcast Continuing Ed provider, and features industry experts from across the world. 

Clearly Clinical is an approved CE provider with the APA, NBCC, NAADAC, CCAPP, and CAMFT, and is women-owned, founded by Elizabeth Irias, LMFT.  Clearly Clinical supports minority and women presenters, and donates to the Trevor Project for LGBTQ+ youth suicide prevention. 

Clearly Clinical is literally the most affordable continuing ed provider in the country, bringing you unlimited CE courses for just $60 a year.  As a promo for my listeners, you can use the code SHANE to get an entire year of CE courses for just $40.  They also have a number of free CE courses, too, so check those out at their website, ClearlyClinical.com.

How is masturbation being used in the couple--as a path of least resistance to avoid confronting sexual/relational issues or as an add-on to an otherwise good shared sex life? How can couples balance the right to self-pleasure against the right to a sexually available partner? Does masturbation use up sexual interest--or kindle it? Does it matter whether external erotic material is used (porn, erotica, etc)?

Dr. Ari Tuckman discusses these, and many other topics in the latest episode of the The Couples Therapist Couch.

Ari is an expert at working with ADHD, relationships and is also a sex therapist. He has written 4 books and has a podcast about ADHD called More Attention, Less Deficit.

Books:

• ADHD After Dark: Better Sex Life, Better Relationship (August 2019)
• Understand Your Brain, Get More Done: The ADHD Executive Functions Workbook
• More Attention, Less Deficit: Success Strategies for Adults with ADHD
• Integrative Treatment for Adult ADHD: A Practical, Easy-to-Use Guide for Clinicians

Find out more at adultadhdbook.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

One of the most difficult thing we do as couples therapists is to get both members of a couple to feel like we get them and we want what is best for them. In this episode, EFT trainer and supervisor, Ryan Rana, walks us through the process of attuning to a client's deepest pain or attachment dilemma. Once we show them that we "get it," they will be much more hopeful about the work in couples therapy.

Ryan Rana, PhD, LMFT, LPC is an ICEEFT certified EFT Trainer, Supervisor and Therapist. He is the current President and Founder of the Arkansas EFT Center. He and his wife, Anne, founded The Joshua Center where he currently practices and acts as the Executive Director. Ryan is a sought after public speaker. Ryan also supervises and consults with clinicians and leaders in Arkansas and around the world in online platforms. In his 21 year career he has spoken to groups on over 1,000 occasions.

Find out more at ryanrana.com and arkansaseft.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

When couples are unable to communicate because they get emotionally escalated, it is often a result of trauma. Dr. Janina Fisher helps people become aware of these emotions and parts of themselves in a way that they can begin to heal and grow and improve their relationships.

Janina Fisher, PhD is a licensed Clinical Psychologist and Instructor at the Trauma Center, an outpatient clinic and research center founded by Bessel van der Kolk. Known for her expertise as both a therapist and consultant, Dr. Fisher lectures and teaches nationally and internationally on topics related to the integration of research and treatment and how to introduce these newer trauma treatment paradigms in traditional therapeutic approaches.

Find out more at janinafisher.com

Get her book, Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

Women are expected to be sexy, but not sexual. We're bombarded with conflicting, shame-inducing, and disempowering messages about sex, instead of being encouraged to connect with our true sexual selves. Sexy gets reduced to a performance, leaving us with little to no space to reckon with the complexities of sexuality.

In a culture intent on telling you who and how to be, standing in your truth is revolutionary. (from the Amazon book description for Taking Sexy Back)

Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon is a clinical assistant professor in the Department of Psychology at Northwestern University and a licensed clinical psychologist. She is the author of the book Loving Bravely: Twenty Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want (New Harbinger, 2017).

Her second book, about sexual self-awareness, Taking Sexy Back: How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationship You Want, was published in February 2020. Dr. Solomon maintains a psychotherapy practice for individual adults and couples, teaches and trains marriage and family therapy graduate students, and teaches the internationally renowned undergraduate course, "Building Loving and Lasting Relationships: Marriage 101."

Find out more at dralexandrasolomon.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

I've partnered with the Psychotherapy Networker to give you this free resource from Esther Perel. She's put together her 125 best "sexuality conversation starters." Get it today at psychotherapynetworker.org/shane

We often have clients who are shut down emotionally and don't understand why. It is difficult for them to access their emotions. Most of the time this is due to living in a family where emotional expression either wasn't modeled or encouraged, or  where it was actively shut down. This emotional neglect is abusive and shaming to children, but most people think that it was just "normal" which can be part of what makes it so difficult to work with.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

In talking about factors that destroy relationships, Dr. Pat Love speaks with such depth and wisdom about all the things that are required to have a secure, healthy relationship.

She talks about emotional security, attachment, systems theory, the relational set up, being flexible and spontaneous and so much more that we often take for granted in our relationships.

Dr. Pat Love is known for her warmth, humor, and practical, research-based wisdom. Her blog posts, YouTube clips, books, trainings, workshops, and online courses have made her a popular go-to relationship consultant. Her work has been featured on TV, in cyberspace, and popular magazines, but she's also a distinguished professor, licensed marriage and family therapist, and long-standing clinical member and approved supervisor in American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.

Dr. Love (yes that is her real surname) has authored/co-authored six books, has written numerous professional publications, and has developed multiple training programs including Love Education™. Her work literally has taken her around the world to help people understand and improve their relationships.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

Why do we love in the first place? Why do we choose the partners we choose? What happens in the brain when people fall in love? These are all questions that Helen Fisher has spent her career answering. 

Helen E. Fisher, PhD  is a biological anthropologist, and Senior Research Fellow, at The Kinsey Institute, Indiana University. She has written six books on the evolution, biology, and psychology of human sexuality, monogamy, adultery and divorce, gender differences in the brain, the neural chemistry of romantic love and attachment, human biologically-based personality styles, why we fall in love with one person rather than another, hooking up, friends with benefits, living together and other current trends, and the future of relationships-- what she calls: slow love.

Find out more about Helen Fisher at anatomyoflove.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Kathryn Rheem about trauma in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Kathryn is the Director of The Washington Baltimore Center for EFT. Hear how she got over her Impostor Syndrome, how our nervous system is impacted by trauma, how to teach people to be able to receive love, how to connect with someone who's angry and defensive, and the power of empathy. 

To learn more about Kathryn, visit:

WashingtonBaltimoreCenterForEFT.com

RheemClark.com

TheEFTCafe.com

When looking at sexual betrayal, many people in our society simplify it down to the fact that the betrayer is bad, wrong, and should be cut off. This leaves out the opportunity of a much more complex way of viewing these situations. To think about this with a more open mind is not to say that there is no accountability on the part of the betrayer, but to hold them accountable while at the same time bringing understanding to them as a person.

In this conversation with Dr. Alexandra Katehakis we talk all about healthy sex, sex addiction, love addiction, and how to work with couples facing these issues. 

Alexandra Katehakis, PhD is the Founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles and the author of several books which I will list below with links. She is an LMFT and clinical supervisor at the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists and a clinical supervisor and member of the teaching faculty for the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP), a national certifying body for sex addiction therapists. She is a prominent writer and expert panelist at sexuality conferences and public events.

Check out Alex's website at centerforhealthysex.com

Books: 

Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction

Sex Addiction as Affect Dysregulation: A Neurobiologically Informed Holistic Treatment

co-author of the award-winning daily meditation book, Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence

and contributing author of the award-winning clinical textbook Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addicts

and her brand new workbook: Sexual Reflections: A Workbook for Designing and Celebrating Your Sexual Health Plan

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

How do unfaithful partners typically respond differently than hurt partners after an affair? What constitutes an affair - intercourse? Instant messaging? Flirting? How can unfaithful partners take responsibility for the damage they caused and earn forgiveness? 

These are just a few of the many questions that leave couples feeling confused about what to do after there has been an affair. Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD has beautifully answered these questions in her book, After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful. She normalizes and reassures couples about what they are going through in a way that gives them hope.

That book has been incredibly successful and has sold over 500,000 copies. In addition to that she has written two other books which are linked below. She has been in practice for over 40 years in Westport, Connecticut. 

Check out Dr. Spring's website at janisaspring.com

Books

After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful

How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To

Life with Pop: Lessons on Caring for an Aging Parent

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

This special episode is part of a 6 video business bonus that you can get for signing up for the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. 

In this episode, Laura Long talks about marketing, niching, websites, and networking. She discusses the importance of thinking about what makes Couples Therapists different and encourages us to think about how we will appear to potential clients. 

Laura is a badass business coach and you can get tons of great information and resources from her website: yourbadasstherapypractice.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

In this episode, Kine Corder talks about removing blocks to success, particularly stress. We talk all about money, marriage and maturing. 

Kine Corder helps people who have achieved success by society's standards, but still feel that they are missing something. She has a podcast called the Love and Money podcast, is a best selling author, psychotherapist, and international speaker.

Find out more about Kine at kinecorder.com

Take the Money Mentality quiz that Kine created

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

In this episode, Dr. Sue Johnson talks about the beginning of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and the lack of options for Couples Therapists to get training at the time. 

Dr. Sue Johnson is an author, clinical psychologist, researcher, professor, popular presenter and speaker and a leading innovator in the field of couple therapy and adult attachment.

Sue is the primary developer of Emotionally Focused Couples and Family Therapy (EFT), which has demonstrated its effectiveness in over 30 years of peer-reviewed clinical research. She is founding Director of the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT).

Find out more about Sue at drsuejohnson.com

Find out more about EFT trainings at iceeft.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

This episode is packed full with advice for how to do good couples therapy. Some of the topics covered are the 6 types of confrontation, rethinking 1st sessions, and how to incorporate attachment theory, differentiation, and neuroscience. 

Dr. Ellyn Bader is the co-founder of the Developmental Model for Couples Therapy. She and Dr. Peter Pearson co-wrote the book, In Quest of the Mythical Mate. They were pioneers in the field of couples therapy at the time and have since educated numerous therapists on how to work effectively with couples.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

Show notes to come...

One of the things we hear most frequently in our office as Couples Therapists is partners with differing levels of sexual desire. For a number of reasons this most often takes the form of a male partner desiring more sex than the female partner. 

Susan Bratton does a wonderful job of flipping conventional wisdom on it's head and giving us some great insight into how we can guide people to Revive Her Drive. 

Susan Bratton is a champion and advocate for all who desire passionate relationships. Considered the "Dear Abby of Sex," Susan's fresh approach and original ideas have helped millions of people of all ages and across the gender spectrum transform sex into passion.

Married to her husband Tim since 1993, Susan is an author, award-winning speaker, and serial entrepreneur who teaches passionate lovemaking techniques to her fans around the world. Susan has been featured in The New York Times and on CNBC and the TODAY show as well as appearing on ABC, CBS, The CW, Fox, and on NBC as the "Marriage Magician."

Find out more about Susan at susanbratton.com

If you're interested in the course called Revive Her Drive for free (it is usually $197) email Susan at susan@personallifemedia.com and tell her Shane sent you.

Search for Susan Bratton on instagram and youtube for more valuable resources.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

In this episode, Kerry Lusignan talks about the benefits and structure of a couples intensive. Couples intensives are becoming more and more popular and are more effective for helping couples make deeper, more lasting progress.

Kerry is the founder of Northampton Center for Couples Therapy in Northampton, MA. She has extensive training in several different models of couples therapy such as Gottman, EFT, PECT, Daring Way (Brene Brown), and many others.

Find out more about Kerry here: https://www.northamptoncouplestherapy.com/

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

One of the most difficult situations that couples face is when there has been an affair and they are trying to heal. Every one of these situations is unique and different, but there are some general themes that tend to come up a lot. When partners can learn the skills and are willing to work at it, the recovery can go much more smoothly.

These skills are exactly what Linda MacDonald teaches partners in her book, How to Help Your Partner Heal from an Affair. It is also the topic of our conversation in this episode of the podcast.

Linda J. MacDonald, MS, LMFT is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist with over 30 years' experience specializing in helping couples and individuals heal from infidelity. She graduated from Seattle Pacific University in 1988 with a Masters degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. She has been in private practice since 1987 and currently works at The Shepherd's Center in the Pacific Northwest.

She felt compelled to write "How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair" due to the lack of material that offered practical steps for unfaithful spouses who want to salvage their marriages after an affair. 

Find out more about Linda here: lindajmacdonald.com

Purchase the book on Amazon: How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

This episode is dedicated to the incredible life of Dr. Sue Johnson.

In this interview from nearly 5 years ago, Shane talks with Dr. Sue Johnson, the creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Hear how she came up with EFT, the patterns she noticed in her clients, how emotion organizes your inner world, the impact of working with someone in EFT, and the qualities of a good EFT therapist.

Learn more about the life of Dr. Sue Johnson at https://drsuejohnson.com/in-remembrance-of-dr-sue-johnson/

Today we celebrate the 100th episode of The Couples Therapist Couch with a rerun of one of the most popular episodes. Thanks for all your support!

This episode explores fundamental questions like why do we fall in love, why do couples fight and how can couples work through conflict? Harville Hendrix has been on the forefront of teaching about relationships for decades. He is the founder of the couples therapy model called Imago Couples Therapy.

Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are internationally-respected couple's therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors. Together, they have written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold, including the timeless classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. In addition, Harville has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

Many people in our society have a belief that conflict is always a bad thing and should be avoided at all costs. In the interview today we unravel this myth about conflict and explore how it is not only helpful to relationships, but also essential. That is not to say it is always a good thing and it is very important to understand how we are approaching conflict in our relationships.

Not only are CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke experts at this and have literally written the book. They are also well practiced in the benefits of conflict in their marriage to each other.

CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke are the founders of Thrive!—a coaching and consulting firm that specializes in helping individuals, leaders, teams and entire companies learn how to deal with differences to ignite creativity and innovation. They have a proven, step-by-step process for making teams great—a process they've honed working with hundreds of leaders and their teams for over 25 years. 

See their TedX talk called Conflict - Use it Don't Defuse it

Get their book called The Beauty of Conflict for Couples 

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

When one or both couples are on the Autism Spectrum or label themselves as Aspergers, it can be incredibly helpful to be understanding of particular things that will be helpful for working with these specific couples. In this episode, Grace Myhill talks about particular topics that neurodiverse couples often seek help with.

Here is a paragraph from her website: A couple is neurodiverse when one partner is neurotypical — processes information the way most people do — and the other partner has a different neurological process, as is the case when someone has Asperger's. This difference between the partners can affect their relationship and that is why it is important to understand that neurology matters when working on the couple's issues.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Grace Myhill is the Director of Couple's and Partner's Services, Asperger / Autism Network (AANE). She facilitates many Groups and Workshops for couples as well as therapists. She is a presenter at workshops for spouses and professionals on the topic of Asperger's and you can find articles on her website: gracemyhill.com.

Here is the link to sign up for the course on working with neurodiverse couples.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes. See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

In the history of our society there has been a huge amount of shame for women about their own desires. There is still a pervasive problem of not talking about what is going on and what people really want. Because no one is talking about it, no one feels accepted or validated about their desire. Author, Lisa Taddeo, breaks this silence in her book Three Women.

Lisa is a #1 New York Times bestselling author and journalist and two-time recipient of the Pushcart Prize for her short stories. She has been published numerous time and has been awarded the William Holodnok Fiction Prize and the Florence Engel Randall Award in fiction.

Check out Lisa Taddeo on Instagram and Twitter. Here is a link to her book, Three Women.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes. See below for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Couples Therapist Inner Circle

This is the Membership Site for Couples Therapists. There is a workshop every month on topics like EFT, Gottman, Infidelity, and Working with Sex. Additionally there are regular question and answer sessions and opportunities to talk about cases.

Find out more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle

In this episode about Solution Focused Brief Therapy, Elliot Connie talks about some amazing strategies to help couples achieve great results in their relationships. He goes into details about how much of psychotherapy is all wrong, asking the right questions, and letting the client take the lead. He describes how asking people what they want in a skillful way and staying with it, requires them to move into deeper levels of vulnerability.

Elliott Connie is a therapist, author, speaker, and educator in Solution Focused Brief Therapy. He has written several books on the topic and travels the world teaching other therapists. He founded The Solution Focused University where he hosts events, travels the world lecturing and often release free learning materials to help learners master this approach and use it in their work, even with the most challenging clinical situations.

Find out more about his books, trainings, and videos at his website here: elliottconnie.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Kauai Retreat for Therapists

The CAV Academy presents the Kauai Retreat for therapists on Kauai, Hawaii from February 13-15 2020. There are 3 days of workshops exploring the practice of Couples Therapy including one full day intensive with Terry Real. Sign up here!

In this episode with Jan Bergstrom, we go into depth about the 5 Core Practices of a Healthy Life. This work was inspired by Pia Mellody and has become the foundation for many models of therapy. We talk about doing inner child work, feelings reduction work, and standing in your truth. We also touch on the importance of self-esteem and boundaries.

Jan is the co-founder of the Healing Our Core Issues Institute. She is the author of the new book, Gifts From a Challenging Childhood. She has trained with Pia Mellody, Peter Levine, John Kabat Zinn, Sue Johnson, and Terry Real.

For more information on trainings and workshops go to healingourcoreissuesinstitute.com.

Get Jan's book, Gifts From a Challenging Childhood

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Kauai Retreat for Therapists

The CAV Academy presents the Kauai Retreat for therapists on Kauai, Hawaii from February 13-15 2020. There are 3 days of workshops exploring the practice of Couples Therapy including one full day intensive with Terry Real. Sign up here!

In this episode, Ari Tuckman describes how he often sees clients where what is being defined as "problematic behavior" is actually due to undiagnosed ADHD. Ari gives us a lot of information about how to work with these clients and how to help them feel more connected.

Ari is an expert at working with ADHD, relationships and is also a sex therapist. He has written 4 books and has a podcast about ADHD called More Attention, Less Deficit.

Books:

• ADHD After Dark: Better Sex Life, Better Relationship (August 2019)
• Understand Your Brain, Get More Done: The ADHD Executive Functions Workbook
• More Attention, Less Deficit: Success Strategies for Adults with ADHD
• Integrative Treatment for Adult ADHD: A Practical, Easy-to-Use Guide for Clinicians

Find out more at adultadhdbook.com

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Kauai Retreat for Therapists

The CAV Academy presents the Kauai Retreat for therapists on Kauai, Hawaii from February 13-15 2020. There are 3 days of workshops exploring the practice of Couples Therapy including one full day intensive with Terry Real. Sign up here!

When it comes to communication, there are differences in the way that we are socialized as men and women. In this conversation with Robert Kandell, he breaks down some important aspects of that communication so that people can be more successful and connected.

Robert is an accomplished teacher, coach, and lecturer. An expert in interpersonal communication and relationships, he has helped thousands of students find a more balanced, energized life with better relationships, more sex and more happiness.

He is the host of the highly successful podcast, TuffLove and author of the recent Amazon #1 Best Seller – unHIDDEN – A Book for Men and Those Confused By Them.

Check out Robert's website at robertkantell.com

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Kauai Retreat for Therapists

The CAV Academy presents the Kauai Retreat for therapists on Kauai, Hawaii from February 13-15 2020. There are 3 days of workshops exploring the practice of Couples Therapy including one full day intensive with Terry Real. Sign up here!

In this episode, Dr. Angela Clack discusses cultural legacies that have been passed down for generations. She talks about how to make people from minority cultures feel accepted and understood and hold space for the change that needs to happen in relationships.

Dr. Clack is known for her ability to teach, supervise, coach, and provide training in various areas pertaining to children, youth, and their families. Because of her training and teaching abilities, Dr. Clack has made a massive impact in her community by reducing the stigma of people of color who seek mental health treatment. She is the Author of Women of Color Talk.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Find out more about Dr. Clack at clackassociates.com

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Kauai Retreat for Therapists

The CAV Academy presents the Kauai Retreat for therapists on Kauai, Hawaii from February 13-15 2020. There are 3 days of workshops exploring the practice of Couples Therapy including one full day intensive with Terry Real. Sign up here!

In this episode, Deirdra Fay talks about the transformational change that is possible when we understand attachment and trauma and are able to do deeper work within ourselves. Deirdre talks about the seven steps to a solid internal world and helps people learn how to become safely embodied.

Deirdra is the Author of Becoming Safely Embodied and Attachment-Based Yoga and Meditation for Trauma Recovery. She is also publishing a new book soon. She does a lot of teaching for therapists and has been inspired by her time living in an Ashram, yoga, mindfulness, IFS, Sensorimotor Therapy and Compassion Focused Therapy.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Find out more about Deirdre at dfay.com

You can also sign up for her free Safe Guide

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Kauai Retreat for Therapists

The CAV Academy presents the Kauai Retreat for therapists on Kauai, Hawaii from February 13-15 2020. There are 3 days of workshops exploring the practice of Couples Therapy including one full day intensive with Terry Real. Sign up here!

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Sharon Pope about all things divorce. Sharon is a Marriage & Relationship Coach and several-time Bestselling Author on love and relationships, including "Stay or Go?" Hear how to approach divorce, where people get stuck, how women and men differ in divorce, how therapists can guide people towards a decision, and why divorce should always be an option.

To learn more about Sharon, visit SharonPope.com

Check out "Stay or Go?" at StayOrGoBook.com

The topic of attachment has been becoming more and more prevalent in the world of relationships. The research is getting more and more clear about how important it is to understand attachment if we are to understand our own identity and our work with relationships.

Research on attachment is guided by the assumption that the same motivational system that gives rise to the close emotional bond between parents and their children is responsible for the bond that develops between adults in emotionally intimate relationships.

The interview today was with Annie Chen who wrote The Attachment Theory Workbook. Not only does it go into depth explaining the different attachment styles, it also has tons of great activities to find out more about yourself on a personal level.

Annie Chen is a licensed marriage and family therapist with a private practice in Oakland, California, focused on working with couples. She holds master's degrees in counseling and Process-Oriented Psychology.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Take the attachment quiz at attachmentquiz.com

Find out more about Annie's book, The Attachment Theory Workbook

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free course called Working with Couples 101

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

The Kauai Retreat for Therapists

The CAV Academy presents the Kauai Retreat for therapists on Kauai, Hawaii from February 13-15 2020. There are 3 days of workshops exploring the practice of Couples Therapy including one full day intensive with Terry Real. Sign up here!

So many of the couples we work with are going through the baby phase of their life. Whether they are trying to get pregnant, are pregnant, have lost a child, or just had a baby, there is going to be a lot of stress and a lot that is hard to predict. Unfortunately, there has historically been a lack of education about this for couples and a lack of support.

In this episode Bina Bird talks all about how to help and guide these couples as they go through these phases and how to identify if more intensive support is required.

Bina Bird is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Haslet Texas and helps couples navigate the pregnancy and postpartum phase of life.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Get your free course on Couples Therapy Here: Working with Couples 101

Get your free handout about the impact of prenatal loss on relationships

Check out Bina's website here: hasletcounseling.com

Join Bina's facebook group for Maternal Mental Health Providers

In this episode with Lynn Grodzki, we talk about bringing aspects of coaching into our work with couples in therapy. There is a lot we can learn to make sure we are retaining clients in today's marketplace. Lynn talks about 9 skills we can start bringing into our practice now.

Lynn Grodzki is a practice building expert who has helped hundreds of thousands of therapists and helping professionals build the practice they want. Lynn has written 6 books listed below including best seller, Building Your Ideal Private Practice.

Her new book that just came out is called Therapy With a Coaching Edge.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week. There is an episode released every Tuesday about the practice of couples therapy. Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes! If you enjoyed the episode please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group.

Get your free course on Couples Therapy Here: Working with Couples 101

Lynn is giving away a free chapter from her new book: Chapter from Therapy with a Coaching Edge

Check out Lynn Grodzki's website at privatepracticesuccess.com

Click here to see all of Lynn's books

See Lynn's site for her new book called Therapy With a Coaching Edge

In this episode, Erika Miley talks about the importance for therapists to get more comfortable with talking about sex. We all have our own sex "stuff" and the more we explore that and get education about sex, the more we can help the couples we work with. 

Erika Miley is a mental and sex therapist. She is the founder of the center for mental and sexual health. She hosts a podcast called Sex Talk with Erika Miley and has a facebook group called Sex Talk with Erika Miley Professionals Group.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Check out Erika's website at ericamiley.com

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Martha's website and free course at instituteforrelationalintimacy.com

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

There is a growing reality of non-traditional couples who are coming in for relationship therapy. People who are in polyamorous relationships, want to open up their relationship or are among a number of other sexually marginalized populations are looking for guidance. As therapists we might not always know how to work with these types of relationships, but it is our responsibility to be as compassionate, understanding, and as open as possible.

In this episode Martha Kauppi talks about how we all have particular biases that we bring to our work with clients and the importance of being aware of these and open to learning more about relationships we may not have worked with before.

Martha is the founder of the Institute for Relational Intimacy. The Institute is committed to competence working with a full array of sex issues, including sexual health concerns, alternative sexualities, problematic sexual behavior, and LGBTQAI+ related concerns. She also offers training and support to therapists.

Her dream is to debunk myths and prominent cultural beliefs that disrupt intimate connections between partners, and help create a world where it is easy to find a therapist who can work effectively with relational intimacy challenges.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Martha's website and free course at instituteforrelationalintimacy.com

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

In this episode Leanne Clarkson talks about the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy which was created by Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson. This is one of the leading model of couples therapy and Leanne does an amazing job of describing some of the ways this model can be used with couples. 

She identifies the 5 stages of couple's development which include:

1. The honeymoon phase  2. Differentiation  3. Exploration  4. Reconnection and  5. Synergy

Leanne Clarkson, MPCC is a clinical counselor and certified couples counselor from the Couples Institute; Bader/Pearson Developmental Model, and an Addictions Counselor in Vancouver, Canada.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Leanne's website at www.heartsmatter.ca

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

There are very different ways that men and women are socialized in our culture. Often, this reality is unspoken and creates challenges for relationships. As therapists, we frequently see this in our office and it can be a challenge to know how to address the situation. 

In this episode, Joseph Losi talks about a healthy masculinity and what men can do to be more intimate, vulnerable, and connected to their emotions. 

Joseph A. Losi, MA, LMFT walks with couples, men and women toward a more powerful belief of self and more creative, fulfilling relationships. He blends a decade of therapeutic work with couples and individuals as a Certified Emotionally Focused Therapist and Supervisor in Training with fifteen years of experience in the Mankind Project. He helps his clients embrace authentic, vulnerable, and compassionate lives.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Joseph's website at josephlosi.com

Learn more about the mankind project at mankindproject.org

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

In this episode, Jasmine Foulkes talks about her journey in becoming a therapist and what has been helpful for her in her work with couples. She has a talent for connecting with couples and uses emotionally focused therapy as the primary model that she works from.

Jasmine is a therapist in Nottingham, England. Using EFT, she helps couples have greater insight, raise self-awareness, and improve communication. She encourages and ability for couples to reach out when they feel distress.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Check out Jasmine's website at jfoulkescounseling.com

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

When working with clients in therapy I often wonder if someone might be displaying aspects of narcissism. I often question myself and my reality. It is important to realize that partner of people with narcissism feel this way all the time. The following is from Wendy Behary's website:

Typically, narcissists display ten of the following thirteen traits:

1. Self-absorbed – Acts like everything is all about him or her
2. Entitled – Makes the rules; breaks the rules
3. Demeaning – Puts you down, bullyish
4. Demanding – of whatever he or she wants
5. Distrustful  – Suspicious of your motives when you're being nice to him or her
6. Perfectionistic – Rigidly high standards – his or her way or no way
7. Snobbish – Believes he or she is superior to you and others; gets bored easily
8. Approval seeking – Craves constant praise and recognition
9. Unempathic- Uninterested in understanding your inner experience or unable to do so
10. Unremorseful – Cannot offer a genuine apology
11. Compulsive – Gets overly consumed with details and minutiae
12. Addictive – Cannot let go of bad habits; uses them to self soothe
13. Emotionally detached – Steers clear of feeling

Wendy Behary is a leader in working with people with narcissism. She is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC and DC. She wrote the book Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Find more resources for working with narcissism at disarmingthenarcissist.com

Find out more about the book Disarming the Narcissist

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

For many people, one of the most difficult times in their life can be going through a breakup or divorce or experiencing some other brokenness in their relationship. Because we are wired to connect as humans, going through this heartbreak can feel like a significant trauma. It is important to have the tools, support and resources to go through this type of experience.

Chautè Thompson talks all about how to recover from these types of situations in the episode today. She wrote a book called Brand New Me: The Pursuit of Wholeness. Chautè Thompson, LMHC is a licensed clinician, speaker, author, educator, consultant and certified family mediator. She offers life changing strategies, transformational empowerment, personal development and mental/emotional health messages to schools, churches, conferences, workshops and seminars.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Find out more about Chautè at brandnewmejourney.com

Visit Chautè's practice website at inspirehopehealthhealing.com

Check out Chautè's book at Brand New Me: The Pursuit of Wholeness

Today's Sponsor

Brighter Vision

Brighter Vision makes amazing websites for therapists. Go to www.brightervision.com/try/couples/ to get one month free off your Brighter Vision subscription. Let Brighter Vision help you build the practice of your dreams.

Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/

Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new

In this episode, Shane talks with Tom Murray about the intersection of perfectionism and intimacy. Tom is a Sex and Relationship Expert who's the Author of "Making Nice with Naughty" and a Co-Host of the Making Nice with Naughty podcast. Hear how to predict a couple's quality of sex life, how anxiety and adrenaline come into play in the bedroom, how therapists can help with sex and relationship issues, the difference between closeness and vulnerability, and the reality of monogamy.

To learn more about Tom and check out his book, visit MakingNiceWithNaughty.com

For Tom's clinical practice, visit APathToWellness.com

So often, the individuals and couples we see in therapy feel alone in their experiences. As therapists, art of what we can to for them, is make them accepted and normal. We can help them to feel like they don't have to be so alone in whatever it is they are experiencing. Even in our own experience as therapists we often feel alone and think to ourselves, "am I the only one?"

Lori Gottlieb reveals all in her column as well as her new book, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. She discusses what goes through her head in the therapy room and does it in a very compassionate, human way. She is funny, and direct, and sensitive at the same time. 

Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author who writes the weekly "Dear Therapist" advice column for The Atlantic. She has written hundreds of articles related to psychology and culture, many of which have become viral sensations all over the world. A contributing editor for the Atlantic, she also writes for The New York Times Magazine, and appears as a frequent expert on relationships, parenting, and hot-button mental health topics in media such as The Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Dr. Phil, CNN, and NPR. Her next book, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, is forthcoming in April.  Learn more at LoriGottlieb.com or by following her @LoriGottlieb1 on Twitter.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Lori's website at lorigottlieb.com

Read articles from Lori's column, What Your Therapist Really Thinks

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough

I Love You, Nice to Meet You: A Guy and a Girl Give the Lowdown on Coupling Up

Stick Figure: A Diary of My Former Self

Inside the Cult of Kibu: And Other Tales of the Millennial Gold Rush

We have had a few episodes about emotionally focused therapy (EFT) lately and for good reason. EFT is one of the most well respected and widely used models of couples therapy. This conversation focuses specifically on how couples heal if there has been an affair or other attachment injury.

Leanne Campbell and David Fairweather go into detail about the use of EFT to heal attachment injuries from trauma. They talk about being able to anchor the process of grief resolution in the context of EFT. Connecting with emotions is an important part of the healing process and attending to the role of shame can often be a barrier to forgiveness.

Leanne Campbell and David Fairweather are co-directors at the Vancouver Island Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy. They have both been training with Sue Johnson since the 1990s and are EFT supervisors and trainers.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit the Vancouver Island EFT website

Visit the inEFT website for training in EFT

After years of studying couples, neuroscience, and attachment, Dr. Stan Tatkin knows what is necessary for a deep, enduring relationship. In this episode we talk all about those factors and also where couples get off track. 

Stan is the founder of the PACT institute which stands for the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy. He is one of the leading trainers in the world of couples therapy and offers an extensive certification program in this model. Pact has a reputation for effectively treating the most difficult couples.

Click the link to check out the previous interview with Stan in episode #35.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

Get your free copy of The Comparison of 7 different Models of Couples Therapy.

Click here to join the Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group

Visit Stan's website at stantatkin.com

Also check out thepactinstitute.com