Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast The Conscious Matchmaker

Is it really a RED FLAG or is it actually PINK? Elizabeth Foster and Susanna Matthews deep-dive into FLAGS in modern dating and the importance of differentiating between RED and PINK FLAGS, and how to break the pattern of confirmation bias-- when we look for those RED flags before seeing the GREEN. With a mindset shift and a healthy dose of curiosity, we go beyond FLAGS and begin to peel back the layers, revealing the deeper aspects of compatibility. BUT WAIT..let's take an even deeper look...what are YOUR red flags? Being willing to own and acknowledge your own RED, GREEN, and PINK flags is just as important and valuable as spotting them in others. This jam packed episode, full of client stories from professional matchmakers, will give you the dating tools and takeaways you've been searching for.

Takeaways

Shifting focus to green flags enhances connection.

Confirmation bias can hinder dating experiences.

Curiosity is key to understanding potential partners.

Not all flags are equal; distinguish between red and pink.

Healthy boundaries can reveal green flags.

Compatibility is rooted in character, not superficial traits.

Authentic communication fosters deeper connections.

Exploring values is essential in relationships.

Instincts should guide decisions in dating.

Vulnerability can create space for healing in relationships. Take your time with dating and understanding your partner.

Self-awareness is crucial in recognizing what we bring to relationships.

Red flags can be perceived differently based on personal experiences.

Communication skills are essential for healthy relationships.

It's important to recognize and express boundaries in relationships.

Understanding attachment styles can help navigate conflicts.

Green flags in ourselves can indicate a healthy relationship.

Feeling safe and calm around a partner is a positive sign.

Self-reflection on our emotional state is key in relationships.

Time reveals the true nature of relationships.

Titles

From Red to Green: A New Dating Perspective

Curiosity Over Criticism in Modern Dating

Navigating the Dating Landscape: Flags and Values

Building Connections: The Power of Green Flags

Sound Bites

"Shift from red flags to green flags."

"Get out your shovel and dig."

"Trust your instincts in dating."

"How do you feel about this?"

"Lean into your own experience."

"Take your time with it."

"What is he or she looking for?"

"Time will reveal it all."

Chapters

00:00Shifting Focus: From Red Flags to Green Flags

03:06Understanding Flags: Red, Pink, and Green

05:53Curiosity in Dating: Digging Deeper

09:01The Importance of Compatibility and Character

11:57Navigating Conversations: Authenticity in Dating

15:01Exploring Values: The Foundation of Relationships

21:23Understanding Relationship Dynamics

24:07Navigating Personal Red Flags

27:42The Importance of Relationship Skills

32:39Recognizing Green Flags in Ourselves

39:59The Journey of Uncovering Flags

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sophylove.substack.com

Your host, Elizabeth Foster, and fellow matchmaker, Susanna Stengel, layout the pros, cons and realities of datings apps vs. dating in the wild. In the apps or in the field, dating can be a daunting experience leading to fatigue, frustration, and burnout. Drawing from client stories and personal experiences, Elizabeth and Susanna emphasize the importance of intentionality and boundaries when it comes to both online and in-person dating life. Tune in for tips on how the pros guide their clients through the complexities of inner and outer worlds, bringing us daters into a balanced and highly fulfilling dating experience.

Ever wished you could call a dating hotline with a dating woe or success story?

Introducing…Conscious Call-Ins. Call on the professional matchmakers for sound wisdom in these choppy dating times. Click the link below to find out more…

Conscious Call-Ins

Takeaways

* Each dating app has its own unique culture.

* Dating apps can expand your dating pool significantly.

* In-person meetings can lead to unexpected connections.

* Setting boundaries while using dating apps is crucial.

* The speed of dating apps can lead to quick connections.

* It's important to transition off the app as soon as possible.

* People often present idealized versions of themselves online.

* In-person dating requires vulnerability and bravery.

* Intentionality is key in both online and offline dating.

* Engaging in hobbies can lead to meeting new people.

Titles

* Navigating the Modern Dating Landscape

* Dating Apps vs. In-Person: What Works Best?

Sound Bites

* "I am a Tinderella!"

* "The apps can work!"

* "It's algorithmic magic!"

Chapters

00:00Introduction to Dating Apps and In-Person Meetings

11:17Cons of Dating Apps and Navigating Challenges

17:06The Shallow Nature of Online Dating

21:58The Risks of In-Person Dating

28:46The Importance of Self-Belief in Dating

35:02Embracing the Journey of Finding Love

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sophylove.substack.com

In this episode of The Conscious Matchmaker, your host, Elizabeth Foster, along with guest Paige Barlow, delve into the secret of connecting on a first date. Let's face it, between first date nerves and the hope that this person will check all the boxes (or at least SOME of them), grounding into authentic connection can be difficult. This episode explores just how important presence and true curiosity are while navigating the dynamics of chemistry (or lack-thereof) and conversation. And let's not forget charisma... Marilyn Monroe was notorious for "flipping the switch" from Norma Jean to Starlet. Out hosts explore how authentic charisma can be fostered in your day-to-day and, of course, your dating life. Let's dive in!

Takeaways

Conscious dating involves breaking down subconscious barriers.

Charisma can be learned and is not limited to extroverts.

Presence, power, and warmth are key to charisma.

First dates should be seen as opportunities for potential connections.

Being present allows for genuine curiosity about others.

Grounding techniques can enhance presence during meetings.

Chemistry is an evolving energy shared between individuals.

Connection is nurtured through attentionality and presence.

Self-awareness enhances the ability to connect with others.

Practice is essential for developing presence and curiosity.

Titles

Unlocking the Secrets of Conscious Dating

Mastering First Date Connections

Sound Bites

"You can significantly increase your personal charisma."

"A first date is simply meeting somebody new."

"Being present allows for genuine curiosity."

"Chemistry is just energy, charisma can be created."

Chapters

00:00Introduction to Conscious Dating

01:12The Secret to First Date Connections

06:06The Importance of Presence

11:51Curiosity and Connection

18:09Understanding Chemistry and Charisma

Don't forget to call our Conscious Dating Hotline with any question or dating woe:

The Conscious Hotline

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sophylove.substack.com

If find yourself desperately searching for Mr. Right (Mrs./NB)... this one is for you. Your hosts, Sophy and Elizabeth, share two client stories from the dating field that highlight the complexities of emotional connections that form from trauma bonding and a crucial shift in mindset that will alchemize that "desperate dating" energy.

Plus a new announcement! Ever wished for that 90s-feel dating hotline, but with feedback and guidance consciously rooted in self-awareness and personal growth ? The Conscious Matchmaker is launching, Conscious Call-Ins, a dating hotline where you can call with any dating doubts or fears and a team of our matchmakers will listen. Your anonymous call may even be featured on our next From the Field episode where you will receive guidance from your hosts. Can't wait to hear from you! Details and links below!

Conscious Call-Ins

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sophylove.substack.com

How many dates and apps have we been on searching or scrolling for "The One".... or someone....or ANYone? How often have we felt empty, misunderstood, unseen, or even hopeless after a date? In this potent Words from the Wise episode, Sophy sits with Dr. Justin Wilford in a candid conversation about Internal Family Systems, Attachment Styles, and their transformative upcoming workshop, "Becoming the One."  Tune in to learn about how Internal Family Systems uncovers your true essence and brings incredible and lasting connection and clarity into your dating life. This is one you don't want to miss!

Save your Spot for "Becoming the One"

Sign-Up Here

Use the Code BTO100

for $100 off!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sophylove.substack.com

Ever feel like dating is an endless succession of interviews? Sometimes you're the interviewer and sometimes the interviewee. This is what happens when dating becomes transactional rather than transformative. In this From the Field episode, we dive into 3 juicy ways to breathe life back into your dating life, so that it becomes a point of fun and growth for you both! With real life and real relatable stories from our clients, get an inside peek at how Sophy and Elizabeth coach clients through the transactional dating rut. Plus,  an important and exciting announcement about our upcoming workshop series, "Becoming the One."  Tune in to scoop all the details.

Join us on the Conscious Dating Journey:

Find Out How

 

Our Upcoming Workshop Series:

Becoming the One

 

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sophylove.substack.com

We all have the question we dread being asked about ourselves; the part that we tuck deep down inside, hoping it won't be poked or prodded until we feel secure enough in the relationship...or maybe...never. This deeply personal episode encourages us to peel back those layers of fear and dread in order to create more intimacy with ourselves and in our dating life. In this 'From the Field' episode, Sophy and Elizabeth share their client, Rachel's, story about her deep desire to start a family and her fear of bringing this up on a date, especially a first date. 

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sophylove.substack.com

Your hosts, Sophy Singer and Elizabeth Foster, share their top 3 conscious ways to overcome dating fatigue and prevent or recover from burnout. We've all experienced the dating dread and boredom that leaves one feeling...uninspired. If you are looking for a way to reclaim freedom and fun in your dating-swipe-life, you don't want to miss this episode...it's for you. And don't forget to hit that subscribe button for more conscious tips and shares.

Our upcoming event, Closer | The Antidote to Dating Boredom

Click Here for Details

Find out more info on how to do the dating life consciously

https://sophy.love

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sophylove.substack.com

When you can't seem to find that person that checks all of your boxes....

A From the Field intimate inside look into navigating dating woes and transformations with Sophy Singer, founder of Sophy Love. A peek into one client's transformative journey from a toxic relationship, followed by a rough breakup, to a vibrant and joyous dating life. Tune in to find out how!

Visit Us:

https://sophy.love/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sophylove.substack.com

In this episode of The Conscious Matchmaker, Sophy Singer and Elizabeth Foster discuss the fifth practice of Authentic Relating-- Honor Self and Other. They explore the concept of The Platinum Rule, and how to use this tool to transform your dating life, which involves treating others how they want to be treated rather than assuming they want to be treated the same way we do. Emphasizing the importance of slowing down, making deep contact, and being present with the needs and boundaries of both oneself and others, Sophy and Elizabeth also introduce a game called The Curiosity Game, which is a fun and fresh way to foster authentic and truly engaging conversations.

Curiosity Exercise: the curiosity exercise uses a clear context to provide participants with the permission to get genuinely curious about another person in a structured format. It's one of the most portable and popular exercises 1 that you can use with anyone in your life to know a person more deeply and be more deeply known by others. The Curiosity exercise is also a great example of how context can unlock an intimate connection. Access a deep level of connection with both strangers and friends more quickly and easily using the curiosity exercise than by almost any other means. Is how we facilitate the exercise in our workshops but you can adapt this context and structure in many different ways. As long as the central intention of creating a context to allow for the expression of genuine, childlike curiosity to flow is upheld, you can engage with this exercise in whatever way feels alive and exciting.

 
Step one -- the partner offering and holding the context (partner A) ask the other partner (partner B) "Would you like to try the curiosity exercise?" Partner A can add further context that articulates the value in (the why) of the exercise, perhaps to feel more connected or learn more about one another. Partner B can offer suggestions or adjust the context as necessary until B is fully bought in and ready to participate. 
Step two--partner A has five minutes to ask any questions they want to ask with the only rule being that they are genuinely curious to know the answer. B answers as briefly or comprehensively as they would like and can decline to answer any question for any reason.
Step three--partner A has two minutes to ask more questions but this time partner B doesn't answer the questions directly but instead rates the questions on a scale from 1 to 5: 1 is the most boring question they could be asked, while five is the most fascinating question they could be asked. This step provides partner A with guidance and direction in how to refine the line of questioning that fulfills both partner A's genuine curiosity as well as partner B's excitement in answering. When both intentions are satisfied we tend to see the deepest connection and intimacy.
Step four-- Partner A has another five minutes to ask any questions, now incorporating the ratings that partner be provided in the last step.
Step five-- Partner A completes two sentence stems that serve as affirmations of the connection. 

Sentence one: "where I felt you the most was..." this is a reflection of when partner A felt most impacted by whatever partner B shared in the two rounds. 
Sentence two: "what I get about you is..." this is a reflection of partner B's essence--their way of being in the world and the values they care about.

Step six-- As with most authentic relating exercises the two partners complete the sequence with a debrief, in which they talk about how the experience went, identify any sites or learnings, and explore any questions that arose. Debrief itself can often lead to a lot of aliveness and can spark further threads of conversation and exploration.
Switch roles. Partner A becomes the answerer, and Partner B gets to be the questioner.

 
A much simpler version of the exercise that you can do anywhere is just doing step 1 and step 2 without a time limit. This still provides the questioner with the freedom and shared context to ask anything they are genuinely curious about. The context provides a sense of ease and safety for the answerer since they have agreed to receive the questions. Imagine if the questioner goes right into a line of questioning that the answerer may find very personal without first setting context. The answerer is often caught off guard and becomes defensive, suspicious, or confused. Setting good clear context is the key to making this exercise work most effectively
 

Connect with us!

We'd love to hear your thoughts and dating questions!

DM us here: Instagram

Visit us here: https://sophy.love

 

 

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sophylove.substack.com

Enrich, enliven and uplevel your dating life with this one tool: Own Your Experience. The fourth practice of Authentic Relating, Own Your Experience, is the tool that sets you free to express your authentic self. "No one is coming to save you," a tough truth that Sophy Singer and Elizabeth Foster explore within the dating space, sharing examples of clients who have used this practice to find deeper intimacy within themselves and true connection in their dating experiences. Vital to the success of one's relationships and dating life authenticity and vulnerability can be challenging to embody... especially on first and second dates... let's dive in!

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sophylove.substack.com

Sophy Singer and Elizabeth Foster have an illluminating conversation with Ryel Kestano, the author of, 'Authentic Relating.' .They discuss the challenges of dating in the modern world and how to navigate them utilizing Authentic Relating practices. Not only will they touch on the best way to use dating apps to enrich your dating life, Sophy, Ryel, and Elizabeth also explore the importance and freedom found when bringing your whole self rather than your "first-date-self" into the dating space.  Ryel emphasizes the power of revealing and naming your present moment experience to create meaningful connections and true intimacy, a tool that helps cultivate open and honest conversations, avoiding misunderstandings and assumptions. 

ANNOUNCEMENT: Upcoming online work shop, 'Closer to You | The Art of Conscious Dating'. All of the details for sign-up are in this episode! Tune in! 

 

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sophylove.substack.com

In this episode of The Conscious Matchmaker, Sophy Singer and Elizabeth Foster discuss the 3rd Pillar in Authentic Relating: Revealing Your Experience. They announce an upcoming course called Closer to You, the Art of Conscious Dating. They explore the challenges and fears associated with revealing oneself in the dating scene, but the benefits this act of truth brings to connection and intimacy. They share stories and examples of how revealing your experience can lead to deeper connections and better communication. They emphasize the importance of being authentic and vulnerable in dating and relationships. 

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sophylove.substack.com

In this episode of The Conscious Matchmaker, Sophy Singer and Elizabeth Foster discuss the second practice of Authentic Relating: Assume Nothing. They explore how assumptions can get us into trouble, especially when meeting new people. They also discuss the cause and effect of assumptions in the dating space. The hosts emphasize the importance of slowing down, checking assumptions, and being curious about the present moment. They provide practical tips on how to practice assuming nothing in real-life situations. The episode concludes with a preview of the next episode, which will focus on the third practice: Revealing Your Experience.

• Assumptions can lead to misunderstandings and hinder authentic connections.


• Slowing down and checking assumptions can lead to deeper and more meaningful conversations.


• Being curious and open to change can enhance emotional intelligence and connection.


• Practicing assuming nothing can create a more present and authentic dating experience.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sophylove.substack.com

Summary
In this episode of the Conscious Matchmaker, Sophy Singer and Elizabeth Foster discuss the concept of Authentic Relating. They introduce the five practices, focusing on the first practice: welcome everything. Authentic Relating is a framework for deeper connection and a tool for bringing unconscious thoughts and feelings to consciousness. They emphasize the importance of welcoming everything within oneself and in others, and how this practice can lead to more meaningful and authentic relationships and a more fulfilling dating life. 
 
Takeaways

• Authentic relating is a practice that cultivates deep, trusting, empowering, and nourishing connections and relationships.


• The first practice of authentic relating is to welcome everything, including one's own experiences and the experiences of others.


• Welcoming everything allows for a deeper level of connection and understanding in relationships.


• Authentic relating can be applied not only in dating but also in all aspects of life and can lead to personal growth and healing.

Chapters
00:00Introduction
01:18Authentic Relating
04:13Five Practices of Authentic Relating
10:25Chapter 3: Welcome Everything
14:08Chapter 4: Assume Nothing
25:38Closing and Preview of Next Episode

 

 

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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sophylove.substack.com

Summary
In the pilot episode of The Conscious Matchmaker, Sophy Singer and Elizabeth Foster introduce themselves and discuss the concept of conscious matchmaking. They emphasize the importance of turning inward and focusing on personal growth and healing in order to create meaningful connections. The vision and mission of Sophy Love are also shared, highlighting the goal of transforming dating into an emotionally nourishing and enlivening experience. The hosts discuss the power of vulnerability and authentic conversation in dating, as well as the three levels of conversation: fact exchange, feelings about facts, and relational level. The episode concludes with their hopes and dreams for the podcast, which include helping listeners improve their dating experiences and relationships.
 
Takeaways

• Conscious matchmaking involves turning inward and focusing on personal growth and healing.


• Dating should be a transformative and emotionally nourishing experience.


• Vulnerability and authentic conversation are key to creating meaningful connections.


• The three levels of conversation - fact exchange, feelings about facts, and relational level - can enhance dating experiences.

Chapters

 
00:00 Introduction to The Conscious Matchmaker
04:07 What is Conscious Matchmaking?
08:00 The Process of Conscious Matchmaking
13:20 Vision and Mission of Sophie Love
18:36 The Importance of Vulnerability in Dating
21:28 The Three Levels of Conversation
23:27 Authentic Dating Advice
25:24 Hopes and Dreams for The Conscious Matchmaker
26:49 Purpose and Goal of The Conscious Matchmaker

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sophylove.substack.com