Cinquisitor Ethan explores the trope of depicting exploding heads on screen. Where the hell did this come from, anyhow? Why did it become such a thing? Well, listen to find out...

Written and performed by Ethan Ireland and Daniel Scribner

Music by Meteor at meteormusic.bandcamp.com

Incidental music by Epidemic Sound

Meteor tracks used: "Manhattan 2019," "The Dark Side of the Sun," "The Streets of Hell," and "Unbreakable."

In our final episode of this conclave, the Cinemania Society is on the run from a pack of biker assassins, and arrives at a roadhouse to conclude its analysis of Quentin Dupieux's 2010 magical realist / neo-impressionist film about a psychic car tire, "Rubber." Pull up a stool, get a beer in your hand, and listen along...

Herein Profligator Daniel presents a Profile in Cinemania on one of the most consequential actors of the 20th Century, a man who starred in over 200 film roles and sired a dynasty of actors and producers: Donald Sutherland

LEGAL NOTICE: This is a work of parody and/or satire and should not be construed as a statement of fact.

Written & performed by Daniel Scribner

Caricature art by Andy Slack Comics

Music by Meteor at meteormusic.bandcamp.com

Tracks used: "The World I Left Behind" and "Horizons."

The heretic renegades of The Cinemania Society concludes its conclave on Kevin Smith's 1999 film "Dogma," while dodging the murderous Knights of Continuity. Analysis under fire! 

For this week's Profile, Scrutinizer Zacharia brings us a deep dive into one of the 20th Century's most revolutionary and influential comedians, George Carlin: the man who brought us the "Seven Deadly Words" sketch.

PARENTAL ADVISORY: CONTAINS EXPLICIT LANGUAGE. LISTENER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

LEGAL ADVISORY: This is protected as a work of satire / parody and should not be construed as a statement of fact.

Caricature art by Andy Slack Comics

Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio

Tracks used: "Paradigm Shift," "Cold Fire," "Out of Sight," and "Innocence."

The heretic renegades of the Cinemania Society, shacked up in an abandoned church in New Jersey, continues the conclave analyzing Kevin Smith's 1999 film "Dogma," while Auntie Hope has flashbacks to Catholic School... 

Verifier Andy, Master Illuminator, presents a Profile in Cinemania on one of the most publicly-respected and well spoken-of sources of CINEMANIA, Alan Rickman. Millennials and GenZ knew Rickman best for his role as Severus Snape in the Harry Potter movies; whereas GenX knew him best for his role as Hans Gruber in 1988's "Die Hard" (and to a somewhat lesser extent, his role as Alexander Dane / Dr. Lazarus in "Galaxy Quest). Rickman was a consummate practitioner of his craft and as word would have it, an all-around decent chap.

Written and performed by Andy Slack

Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio

(Tracks used: "Diamond Eyes" and "Waiting for Sunset")

Caricature art by Andy Slack Comics

The heretic renegades of the Cinemania Society, having escaped maroonment (is that even a word?) on a deserted island Puerto Rico, have finally made their way to a corner of Earth so vile and hated that nobody would want to go, in the desperate hopes that the Cinemassassins on their trail would not dare to follow. As they rest and recuperate in an abandoned church, Auntie Hope, Keeper of the Books Booze, is reminded of her Catholic School education, which reminds her in turn of Kevin Smith's 1999 film "Dogma," and calls a conclave to order.

We celebrate the life and times of Patient Zero for CINEMANIA, the King of Schlock, Roger Corman, a man who shaped the modern cinema landscape far more than anyone would have ever believed. Listen and be astounded.

Written by Ethan Ireland and Andy Slack, and performed by Ethan Ireland

Caricature Art by Andy Slack Comics

Music by Meteor at meteormusic.bandcamp.com

Tracks used: "J-70" and "Richtofen."

This work is protected as work of satire and/or parody and should not be construed as fact.

Not long ago was the second death-iversary of the world's greatest irritainer, Gilbert Gottfried. We treat our listeners, new and old, to our Profile in Cinemania on the man. For those fans of Frank Herbert's Dune, this includes Gottfried's rendition of "The Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear," originally commissioned by Cinquisitor Ethan in 2021.  Stay tuned: next Wednesday begins an entirely new run of content...

Another of our early Profiles in Cinemania for our new listeners, one on everyone's favorite murderous clown-slash-Sweet Transvestite from Transsexual Transylvania, Tim Curry.

Our very first Profile in Cinemania, one on Peter Weller, is presented here for our new listeners.

Professor Andrea takes us on a foray into the cinematic genre of Magical Realism, into which fall films such as Amélie, Like Water for Chocolate, and Pan's Labyrinth. What is "magical realism," anyhow? Well, Andrea tells us...

Written & Performed by Andrea Palladino

Mixing, Mastering, and Sound Design by Ethan Ireland

Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio

Tracks used: "Atlantis" and "Lavender Haze."

Collected all in one place for your listening convenience is the Society's odyssey to a mysterious island and its review & analysis of the 1932 film "Island of Lost Souls."

This early '80s crime drama gives the listener some insight into why it's always smart to treat the folks who work in service well, especially if you're up to no good...

Cheapskate is ©1983 by Patrick Ireland. It was originally published in the October, 1988 issue of Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine and appears here by permission of the author.

Performed by Daniel Scribner and Ethan Ireland

Production, sound design & editing by Ethan Ireland

Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio

"The Investigator" by Brian Bennett appears under license from APM Music (apmmusic.com)

Sound effects courtesy of Epidemic Sound

Very special thanks to Alexandros Kadadakis and Ziv Lang for making this episode possible.

Things are getting desperate as the gang finds itself stranded on the beach of a mysterious island, without food, water, or competently-constructed shelter. To take their minds off their rumbling tummies, The Society deliberates over and renders judgement upon the 1932 film, "The Island of Lost Souls." 

For this week's Profile in Cinemania, Scrutinizer Zacharia plays us a cassette on Hollywood's King of Terror, Bela Lugosi, the man the world knew as "Dracula." Lugosi was a complex and tragic man who fought fascists in Hungary and Weimar Germany; and after achieving fame in America, used his public platform to do some real good in the world while fighting his own private battles. Aside from creating the stereotype of the vampire we all know and love today, he was also responsible for organizing the world's first film actor's union in his native Hungary, and later, helped found the Screen Actors Guild.

Written by Zacharia Berks and Ethan Ireland

Performed by Zacharia Berks

Caricature Art by Andy Slack Comics

Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio

Tracks used: "Cradle of Shadows," "Gothic," "The Disappearance," and "Last Light."

The Cinemania Society continues their conclave of the 1932 sci-fi horror masterpiece "The Island of Lost Souls" while desperately trying to survive being marooned on a mysterious tropical island! 

Featuring:

Andrea Palladino

Alessa Luz Martinez

Hope Bravo

Andy Slack

Daniel Scribner

Zacharia Berks

and Ethan Ireland

Production, editing, and sound design by Ethan Ireland

Theme music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio

Incidental music and sound effects courtesy of Epidemic Sound

We present a Profile on one of the greatest perpetrators of CINEMANIA in history, Herbert George Wells. H.G. Wells was an early science-fiction author and  futurist, whose influence was so profound that his politically-connected fans ensured he was positioned to be one of the architects of the modern world. Listen in shock and horror as Cinquisitor Ethan tells the tale.

Music by Meteor at meteormusic.bandcamp.com

Tracks: "Ignition," "Indelible Shadow," "Humans vs. Machines: The Beginning of the End," and "Dark Matter." 

LEGAL REPRESENTATIVES TAKE NOTE: THIS IS A WORK OF PARODY/SATIRE

Loose lips ain't got nothin' on the Cinemania Society: their terrible luck continues as the paddle-steamer they boarded sinks in a storm, leaving them marooned on a mysterious island....but neither rain nor shipwreck nor sandy bottoms can stay these idiots from the swift completion of their appointed judgements. We go full '30s radio theater as Professor Andrea leads our castaway conclave in its analysis of the 1932 sci-fi horror masterpiece "The Island of Lost Souls" (only recently available in its complete and unedited state!)

Featuring:

Andrea Palladino

Alessa Luz Martinez

Hope Bravo

Andy Slack

Daniel Scribner

Zacharia Berks

and Ethan Ireland

Production, editing, and sound design by Ethan Ireland

Theme music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio

Incidental music and sound effects courtesy of Epidemic Sound

Archival music tracks used under license from APM

In anticipation of our next conclave on one of the first films to be produced under the Hays Code, we are re-releasing our Profile in Cinemania on William H. Hays, the disgraced Harding-era politician who made it his mission to impose "moral values" on cinema.

In this short story, an Old West sheriff encounters a traveling medicine show.

Remedy is ©2015 by Patrick Ireland. It appears here for the first time anywhere, and by permission of the author.

With Mark Hoffman as the Sheriff

Andy Slack as Dr. Mumford

and additional voices by Ethan Ireland and Hope Bravo

Production, sound design & editing by Ethan Ireland

Theme music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio

Incidental music and sound effects courtesy of Epidemic Sound

Presented in its entirety for your listening convenience is a compilation of our episodes from our 12th conclave held on "How to Get Ahead in Advertising," yet another obscure British independent film featuring Richard E. Grant. It's Clockwork Orange time, bitches.

Written and performed by:

Andy Slack

Alessa Luz Martinez

Andrea Palladino

Daniel Scribner

Ethan Ireland

Hope Bravo

and Zacharia Berks

with special guest Miles Miniaci

Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio

Incidental music and sound effects courtesy of Epidemic Sound

Sound design and editing by Ethan Ireland

(C) 2023 The Cinemania Society, LLC

Having evaded a group of biker-assassins by slipping into a seedy motel, the gang gets back on the road to continue their analysis of a film from 2010 about a (no, really) psychic killer tire: "Rubber."   

Not long after his vicious betrayal of the society and our abduction into the now-defunct cinema palace somewhere in that one flyover state, Verifier Andy personally tried to make up for his betrayal to me by arranging an interview with someone relevant to the conclave we’d just held: puppeteer extraordinaire, Mike Quinn. Best known for his portrayal of Nien Nunb in that one movie about the return of a space wizard and his trusty laser sword, Mr. Quinn is better known to us in the Cinemania Society as “the puppeteer who got the talking boil to do its thing in How to Get Ahead in Advertising,” which as you’ll hear was a bit of a surprise to him. We’re grateful to Mr. Quinn for his generosity, both of time and of spirit. Presented here for your listening pleasure is the complete and unedited interview with Mike Quinn.

Now that the heretic renegades of the Cinemania Society have gotten themselves free, the cinema palace has been turned to rubble, and Verifier Andy has been subdued, the only way out is indeed through. Once begun a Conclave must be concluded, so The Society renders its judgement on "How to Get Ahead in Advertising," a little-known British independent film from 1989, featuring Richard E. Grant.

Written and performed by:

Andy Slack

Alessa Luz Martinez

Andrea Palladino

Daniel Scribner

Ethan Ireland

Hope Bravo

and Zacharia Berks

With special guest Miles Miniaci

Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio

Incidental music and sound effects courtesy of Epidemic Sound

Sound design and editing by Ethan Ireland

(C) 2023 The Cinemania Society, LLC

Cinquisitor Ethan recounts the rise and fall of ex-Beatle George Harrison's once-great (but now defunct) film production company, HandMade Films. This was the British mini-major responsible for some of the greatest sources of CINEMANIA ever to erupt out of Perfidious Albion, including Time Bandits, The Long Good Friday, Withnail and I, and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Listen to this tragic tale of good intentions brought low by self-dealing, and raise a glass to toast what was and what might have been.

Written by Ethan Ireland

Performed by Ethan Ireland and Andy Slack

Caricature art by Andy Slack at andyslackcomics.com

Music by Meteor at meteormusic.bandcamp.com

Tracks Used: "Thaumogenesis," "Suspended in Time," "Smoke Trails," and "The Fog."

LEGAL REPRESENTATIVES TAKE NOTE: This is a work of parody and/or satire; no statements made herein should be construed as accusations or statements of actual fact. Listeners who choose to play this sonic document do so at their own risk.

Verifier Andy's betrayal has borne fruit! The heretic renegades of the Cinemania Society are forced to continue their 12th conclave, having been strapped into chairs Clockwork Orange-style and forced to watch  a kooky and obscure British satire from 1989, "How to Get Ahead in Advertising," featuring Classic Loki portrayer, Richard E. Grant. All nefariousness contains the seeds of its own demise however, and it Scrutinizer Zacharia may be having a massive allergic reaction (à la Akira) to whatever it was Andy put in everyone's tea...

Written and performed by:

Andy Slack

Alessa Luz Martinez

Andrea Palladino

Daniel Scribner

Ethan Ireland

Hope Bravo

and Zacharia Berks

Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio

Incidental music and sound effects courtesy of Epidemic Sound

Sound design and editing by Ethan Ireland

(C) 2023 The Cinemania Society, LLC

Verifier Andy presents a Profile in Cinemania on everyone's favorite Swazi-British actor, Richard E. Grant, portrayer of manic reprobates and impersonator of the Marvel Classic Loki.

LEGAL REPRESENTATIVES TAKE NOTE: This is a work of parody and/or satire; no statements made herein should be construed as accusations or statements of actual fact. Listeners who choose to play this sonic document do so at their own risk.

Caricature art by Andy Slack at andyslackcomics.com

Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio

Tracks used: "Diamond Eye"

The heretic renegades of the Cinemania Society have finally found some ground transport that keeps them out of the rain and cold, but Verifier Andy has something nefarious and diabolical planned for his turn as Pontifex of Presentment. The Society is forced to watch "How to Get Ahead in Advertising," yet another obscure British independent film, but this time another joint from HandMade Films, one that features Richard E. Grant delivering some truly maniacal monologues. It's Clockwork Orange time, bitches.

Written and performed by:

Andy Slack

Alessa Luz Martinez

Andrea Palladino

Daniel Scribner

Ethan Ireland

Hope Bravo

and Zacharia Berks

Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio

Incidental music and sound effects courtesy of Epidemic Sound

Sound design and editing by Ethan Ireland

(C) 2023 The Cinemania Society, LLC

LEGAL REPRESENTATIVES TAKE NOTE: This is a work of parody and/or satire; no statements made herein should be construed as accusations or statements of actual fact. Listeners who choose to play this sonic document do so at their own risk.

In this special super-extended Profile in Cinemania, researched, written, and performed by Profligator Daniel, our listeners are presented with a dubious deep dive into one of the weirdest individuals to ever exist in the multiverse, one Louis Whitley Strieber: retired marketing guru, author of "The Hunger," hack novelist, self-confessed alien abductee, and podcast host. Listen with caution, for infection with CINEMANIA is assured.

Caricature art by Andy Slack at andyslackcomics.com

Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio

Tracks Used: "Androids & Sentient Beings," "Gravity," "Convergence," and "Black Rainbows."

Incidental music and sound effects courtesy of Epidemic Sound

"The Summoning" by Scott Buckley appears under Creative Commons License 4.0 International (CC-BY 4.0). Visit https://soundcloud.com/scottbuckley/ for more tracks by this artist.

This story of high adventure features a sketchy archaeologist in over his head who is faced with the hardest choice of his life.

It was originally published in the October, 1988 issue of Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine and appears here by permission of the author.

Performed by Phil Ryder

Sound design & editing by Ethan Ireland

Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio

Incidental music and sound by Epidemic Sound

The heretic renegades of the Cinemania Society find themselves on the outskirts of an abandoned futurecore theme park (legally distinct from any other futurecore theme park you might be imagining), where they decide to hold their next Conclave examining the blockbuster sci-fi action spectacular from 1990, Total Recall! One can only imagine what manner of dreadful encounters the gang might have as they skulk through the rusting beams and mildewed thrill rides of this once grand (but oddly Soviet) playground of the people...

Special thanks to Melinda with Miracle Forest Sound for the ambience track.

Visit her YouTube page at https://www.youtube.com/@themiracleforest or her Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/miracleforest to support her dedication to making beautiful ambient tracks!

Listen in horror as we play for you the secret recordings recorded secretly (secretly, I tell you!) as the Cinemania High Council convened a meeting during its office holiday party to discuss the progress on eliminating the heretic renegades formerly known as the Cinemania Society Chapter #35. 

From Ferris Bueller to Deadpool, it seems that "breaking the fourth wall" has become all the rage these days. In this week's Profile in Cinemania, Verifier Andy digs into the history, breaks down fourth wall breaks, and examines why this trope might be far older than you'd imagine... 

The heretic renegades of the Cinemania Society are safe, having fled some Cinemassassin-Cosmonauts bent on murdering the s**t out of them.  They take refuge in one of the exhibits within the abandoned futurecore theme park (legally distinct from all other futurecore theme parks), and having concluded their Conclave examining the sci-fi action schlock-tacular Total Recall, render judgement. 

Special thanks to Melinda with Miracle Forest Sound for the ambience track.

Visit her YouTube page at https://www.youtube.com/@themiracleforest or her Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/miracleforest to support her dedication to making beautiful ambient tracks!

The heretic renegades of the Cinemania Society, having entered the premises of an abandoned Soviet futurecore theme park, continue their Conclave examining the blockbuster sci-fi action spectacular from 1990, Total Recall! Perils await the unwary...

Special thanks to Melinda with Miracle Forest Sound for the ambience track.

Visit her YouTube page at https://www.youtube.com/@themiracleforest or her Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/miracleforest to support her dedication to making beautiful ambient tracks!

This is the episode we had intended to publish back in September, but which we had to recall because SAG-AFTRA clarified its position for us on podcasts like ours, and we did not want to cross the picket line. Now that the SAG-AFTRA strike has been suspended, we are proceeding with publication of this series. 

We apologize for the error in upload on 11/15/23. The file has since been repaired and should play normally. 

The heretic renegades of the Cinemania Society find themselves on the outskirts of an abandoned futurecore theme park (legally distinct from any other futurecore theme park you might be imagining), where they decide to hold their next Conclave examining the blockbuster sci-fi action spectacular from 1990, Total Recall! One can only imagine what manner of dreadful encounters the gang might have as they skulk through the rusting beams and mildewed thrill rides of this once grand (but oddly Soviet) playground of the people...

Special thanks to Melinda with Miracle Forest Sound for the ambience track.

Visit her YouTube page at https://www.youtube.com/@themiracleforest or her Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/miracleforest to support her dedication to making beautiful ambient tracks!

It's autumn, which means rainy weather. That, and long hours on the road have resulted in a tragedy which has left the cultists of The Cinemania Society in desperate need of a (temporary) rebrand and relocation to someplace dry to hold a conclave based on *shudder* books. Naturally, Auntie Hope has assigned the group to read the most dangerous book in existence, that dread tome NECRONOMICON. 

Listen in terror to this, the first (and possibly only) episode of the LIBROMANIA LEGION.

This episode was written and performed by:

Hope Bravo

Ethan Ireland

Andy Slack

Daniel Scribner

Andrea Palladino

Alessa Luz Martinez

and Zacharia Berks

Featuring special guest star Christine Murray as The Frustrated Barista

Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio [whitebataudio.com]

Sound effects and incidental music courtesy of Epidemic Sound [epidemicsound.com]

Recording and engineering by Alessa Luz Martinez

Editing, Mixing, and Sound Design by Ethan Ireland

Caricatures & graphic art by Andy Slack [andyslackcomics.com]

The Society awakens to find themselves in a mysterious place of darkest evil on the spookiest of all nights...

Written by Daniel Scribner

Performed by Daniel Scribner, Ethan Ireland, Alessa Luz Martinez, Zacharia Berks, Hope Bravo, Andrea Palladino, and Andy Slack

Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio

Here's one guaranteed to blow your minds: the latest cassette unearthed is a profile on career heavy / henchman character actor Michael Ironside. 

Written and performed by Andy Slack

Music by Meteor at metormusic.bandcamp.com

Track: "Blue Thunder"

Caricature art by Andy Slack at andyslackcomics.com

The latest VHS Brother Methuselah has dredged up is one where Auntie Hope presents a Profile in Cinemania on Robert Picardo, ultimate "that guy" actor and everyone's favorite television doctor.

Written and performed by Hope Bravo

Music by Meteor at http://meteormusic.bandcamp.com/

Tracks: "Distant Worlds" and "Phantom Zone."

Legal notice: this is a work of parody.

Brother Methuselah has dug a VHS cassette from within the sweat-stained burlap sack he's been carrying on his back which contains a profile on Hollywood's Queen of Femmes Fatales, Sharon Stone.

Written and performed by Andrea Palladino

Music by Meteor at meteormusic.bandcamp.com

Tracks: "Slow Burn," "Silent Streets," and "Amethyst."

Legal notice: this is a work of parody.

The Writer's Guild strike is over, but the SAG-AFTRA strike continues. Listen for an update about the show and what's happening on the show...

We present another videocassette containing a profile by Verifier Andy on acclaimed Dutch director Paul Verhoeven, who is notable for being a major cause of CINEMANIA, not only in his home country of the Netherlands, but also the United States if not the entire world.

Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio

Tracks: "The Alchemist" and "Atlas."

Visit whitebataudio.com or karlcasey.bandcamp.com for more bitchin', royalty-free, stream-safe synthwave tracks.

Legal notice: this is a work of parody.

When their stolen Popemobile breaks down, the gang finds themselves lost somewhere in the American Southwest. Naturally, Cinquistor Ethan declares that this is *the* perfect time to hold a Conclave to analyze Quentin Dupieux's surreal offering "Rubber" from 2010...   

Cinquisitor Ethan presents a Profile on Hollywood's most-adapted author, paranoid prophet and accidental purveyor of CINEMANIA, Philip K. Dick.

Written and performed by Ethan Ireland

Music by Meteor at meteormusic.bandcamp.com

Tracks: "City Lights" and "Escape the Fate."

Legal notice: this is a work of parody.

The Cinemania Society presents for your listening pleasure a short story by acclaimed author Patrick Ireland. This story is an unpublished work originally written sometime in the early 1990s. This recording is from a live performance by Ethan Ireland in 2016, at the Gold Lion Art Center for "Now Hear This!" produced by Atim Udoffia. 

This episode is produced in memory of Clifford Childers, an amazingly talented musician who performed much of the live music backing the reading of "Slugger." Clifford died in February of 2023. He will be missed.

Sound design, mixing, and mastering by Ethan Ireland

Graphic Design by Andy Slack

Opening & Closing Credits Music by Karl Casey at White Bat Audio

Long after the heretical outcasts calling themselves the Cinemania Society made the their hair's-breadth escape from Cap'n McBloodgulper's Restaurant and Tiki Bar, they find themselves hungry, wet, and footsore on the outskirts of Nowhere, America. They take refuge in an abandoned museum, where they hold their next conclave on Mamoru Oishii's obscure but meaningful and highly influential 1985 animated feature, Tenshi no Tamago, a/k/a Angel's Egg. What horrors await the renegades of the Society, and worse still, its listeners?

Profligator Daniel presents a VHS cassette containing a profile on noted Japanese classical music composer Yohihiro Kanno. Or was it anime score composer Yoko Kanno? You know what, we can't even tell anymore...

Written and performed by Daniel Scribner

Music by Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio

Tracks: "Sakura," "Polymath," and "Waves."

Legal notice: this is a work of parody.