Retour

Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast The Christian Habits Podcast

Plongez dans la liste complète des épisodes de The Christian Habits Podcast. Chaque épisode est catalogué accompagné de descriptions détaillées, ce qui facilite la recherche et l'exploration de sujets spécifiques. Suivez tous les épisodes de votre podcast préféré et ne manquez aucun contenu pertinent.

Rows per page:

1–50 of 131

TitreDateDurée
Learning to Unplug with Hannah Brencher23 Oct 202400:28:48

Most of us realize that our screens are consuming us. We know we should cut back on our screen-time but are at a loss for how to start. My guest on the Christian Habits Podcast today, Hannah Brencher, started off with a 1,000 hour screen-free challenge, and she hasn’t looked back since this pivotal life-change. Hannah gives practical tips as well as inspiration to start putting down our phones and re-discovering the world around us!

What We Discussed on the Podcast
  • What going “unplugged” actually means
  • The unexpected outcomes of Hannah’s screen-free challenge
  • What prompted the writing of this book
  • How to practice presence
  • Some inspiring thoughts on contentment and productivity
  • Practical tips and ways to begin putting down our screens
Resources We Mentioned on the Podcast About Hannah Brencher

©Taylor Zorzi / Zorzi Creative

Hannah Brencher is a writer, TED speaker, and entrepreneur. She founded The World Needs More Love Letters, a global community dedicated to sending letter bundles to those who need encouragement. Named as one of the White House’s “Women Working to Do Good,” Hannah has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Oprah, Glamour, USATODAY.com, the Chicago Tribune, and more. She lives in Atlanta with her husband, Lane, and daughter Novalee. Find Hannah at hannahbrencher.com. Connect with Hannah on Instagram, Facebook,or Pinterest.

 

How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on YouTube: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”

The post Learning to Unplug with Hannah Brencher appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Christy Osborne: Love Life Sober25 Sep 202400:33:21

So many of us today are looking for ways to cope with the pressures of life. Instead of going to God, we turn to our phones, food, shopping, or even alcohol. Such was the case with Christy Osborne, my guest on the Christian Habits Podcast. Christy talks about her journey to sobriety and the choice to live without alcohol in her new book Love Life Sober. Even if you do not struggle specifically with alcohol, you will hear many helpful ways to deal with any addiction.

 

What We Discussed on the Podcast
  • How Christy assigned alcohol different “jobs” in her life
  • The many ways that becoming alcohol-free has changed Christy’s life for the better
  • Why Christy recommends the “experiment approach” when considering sobriety
  • How to overcome addiction without willpower
  • The surprising links between wine and disease
  • Christy’s defiance against “Mommy Wine Culture”
  • How wine and alcohol addiction takes more than it gives
Resources We Mentioned on the Podcast About Christy Osborne

Christy Osborne, author of Love Life Sober, is a graduate of the University of Southern California and attended law school at Pepperdine University. After passing the California bar exam, Christy relocated to London and assumed various roles in law, public relations, and business development. She founded a popular website for American expat women and became a royal commentator on SKY News in the UK. Christy discovered her true calling when she chose sobriety and began openly advocating for it on social media. As a highly trained senior sobriety coach featured in/by Marie ClaireNewsweekThe Daily Mail, Yahoo, PBS, London Daily News, Hip & Healthy, and more, she empowers women throughout the US and UK to redefine their relationship with alcohol. Visit her at LoveLifeSober.com. Connect with Christy on Instagram.

How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on YouTube: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”

The post Christy Osborne: Love Life Sober appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Memorizing Scripture with Glenna Marshall21 Nov 202300:27:36

Do you struggle to memorize Scripture? I do. For years I thought I couldn’t memorize it because I don’t have a good memory. But for the last couple of months–ever since I read Glenna Marshall’s book on memorizing Scripture–I’ve been going great guns with Scripture memory and love it!

If you’re someone like me who has struggled for years to commit God’s Word to memory, my latest episode of The Christian Habits Podcast (links below) will help. My guest, Glenna Marshall, has a new book out about the power and unexpected blessings of memorizing Scripture. It has been life-changing for her, and I can already tell it will be life-changing for me!

What We Discussed on the Podcast
  • The reason that Glenna began memorizing scripture
  • The WHY behind scripture memorization
  • The brain science of repetition and memory
  • The case for memorization of long passages of scripture
  • Practical tips for memorizing
  • The “first letter” method
  • How to use habit stacking to increase memorization
  • An app that will help with Scripture memory–I’ve been using this app myself and it makes all the difference in the world. (See link below to find the app.)
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast About Glenna Marshall

GLENNA MARSHALL is a pastor’s wife and mother of
two energetic sons. She is the author of The Promise Is
His Presence and Everyday Faithfulness. She writes
regularly at GlennaMarshall.com on biblical literacy,
suffering, and the faithfulness of God. She is a member
of Grace Bible Fellowship in Sikeston, Missouri. 

Find Glenna online at GlennaMarshall.com or on Instagram.

How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

The post Memorizing Scripture with Glenna Marshall appeared first on Barb Raveling.

07: Breaking Free from the Idol of Skinny With Christina Smith13 Aug 201400:28:48

See also:  Taste for Truth Christian Weight Loss Podcast. https://barbraveling.com/christian-weight-loss-podcast/ for more info! https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/taste-for-truth-weight-loss-encouragement/id1203994286?mt=2 to view on iTunes.

Interview with Christina Smith

Today I’m excited to share an interview with my friend Christina.

We’ll be talking about how to follow lifelong eating boundaries, how to break free from the idol of skinny, and how Facebook sometimes gets in the way of that.

Christina shares her journey and how God has helped her along the way. She also gives practical suggestions for change.

To subscribe or listen on iTunes: click here

Other Resources:

<enclosure url=”http://traffic.libsyn.com/christianhabits/Christine_Interview_2.mp3″ length=”24675329″ type=”audio/mpeg” />

The post 07: Breaking Free from the Idol of Skinny With Christina Smith appeared first on Barb Raveling.

06: How to Break a Habit06 Aug 201400:16:55

Do you ever feel like you can’t break that habit that has been plaguing you all your life?

In today’s podcast we’ll talk about three steps you can take if you want to break your habit.

To listen on iTunes: click here

To listen on Stitcher: click here

If you’d like more info on this subject click on the following links:

  1. How to Set Boundaries
  2. Secondary Boundaries
  3. How to Set Boundaries To Break Free From Idolatry
  4. The Renewing of the Mind

<enclosure url=”http://traffic.libsyn.com/christianhabits/How_to_Break_a_Habit_Test_with_intro.mp3″ length=”14689750″ type=”audio/mpeg” ></enclosure>

The post 06: How to Break a Habit appeared first on Barb Raveling.

05: Breaking Habits: An Attitude That Keeps Us Stuck30 Jul 201400:12:11

In this episode of the Christian Habits Podcast, we’ll talk about an attitude that keeps us from breaking our habits. 

If you’d like help with breaking a habit, check out the breaking a habit tab at the top of this blog. Click here to see the questions on today’s podcast.

To listen on iTunes: click here

To listen on Stitcher: click here

<enclosure url=”http://traffic.libsyn.com/christianhabits/Entitlement_1.2.mp3″ length=”10715754″ type=”audio/mpeg” ></enclosure>

The post 05: Breaking Habits: An Attitude That Keeps Us Stuck appeared first on Barb Raveling.

04: 6 Tips for People Pleasers23 Jul 201400:10:54
http://traffic.libsyn.com/christianhabits/people_pleasing_2.mp3

 

Do you ever feel like you have to say yes when someone asks you to do something? Do often find yourself saying yes and then regretting it later? Does it bother you when people are unhappy with you?

If so, you may be a people pleaser.

In this podcast, we’ll talk about 6 different things you can do if you want to break the habit of people pleasing. We’ll also renew our minds with the people pleasing questions from I Deserve a Donut.

If you’d like to subscribe to the podcast or listen to it on iTunes, click here, and then click “View on iTunes.” (It may not be there right away as I am having technical difficulties, which also explains why I have two play buttons rather than one!)

People Pleasing Questions

  1. Why do you want to make this person happy?
  2. What will make him happy?
  3. Are you able to make that happen?
  4. Will that really make him happy? Explain.
  5. Are you:
    1. Interfering with what God wants to do in this person’s life by always trying to make him happy? Explain.
    2. Tempted to do something God doesn’t want you to do (or not do something God wants you to do) just so you can make this person happy? Explain.
    3. Remembering that only God can fill this person up and make him happy?
    4. Neglecting your responsibilities (as a parent, for example) just to avoid making this person mad?
  6. How do you think God wants you to handle this situation?
  7. Why do you think He wants you to handle it that way?
  8. What would you need to sacrifice, give up, or risk to do what God wants you to do?
  9. What will you gain if you do what God wants you to do?
  10. Is there anything you need to accept?
  11. What can you thank God for in this situation?

Question: Are you a people pleaser? Do you have any tips for us?

The post 04: 6 Tips for People Pleasers appeared first on Barb Raveling.

03: How My Friend Lost 140 Pounds16 Jul 201400:36:35

See also:  Taste for Truth Christian Weight Loss Podcast. https://barbraveling.com/christian-weight-loss-podcast/ for more info! https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/taste-for-truth-weight-loss-encouragement/id1203994286?mt=2 to view on iTunes.

Interview with Terry Tignor

Today I’m excited to share an interview with my friend Terry Tignor, who has lost 140 pounds over the last 2 1/2 years.

Terry is the friend I mentioned in the intro to I Deserve a Donut (And Other Lies That Make You Eat).

Terry has wonderful words of wisdom, and I know her interview will encourage you, no matter how many pounds you have to lose!

In this episode, Terry shares some of her struggles along the way and how God helped her through the process.

Resources We Talked About on the Podcast

To listen on iTunes: click here

To listen on Stitcher: click here

http://traffic.libsyn.com/christianhabits/03_03__140_Weight_Loss_-_Interview_with_my_friend_Terry.mp3

I hope you enjoy the interview. I submitted my podcast to iTunes today so should be available there in the next day or two! (Unless I did something wrong!)

The post 03: How My Friend Lost 140 Pounds appeared first on Barb Raveling.

02: When Life is Hard: 11 Questions to Ask09 Jul 201400:21:51

Welcome to the Christian Habits podcast, episode two! I won’t normally write a separate blog post to go with the podcast, but thought I would today so I could explain what it’s like to do a podcast.

The nice thing about blogging is that if you forget to say something when you write the first draft, you can easily add it in before you publish. Or if you said something you didn’t want to say, you can easily take it out.

You can’t do that with podcasting! Or at least if you can, I don’t know how to do it yet.

So if you ever hear me saying something in a podcast and think, Does Barb really believe that?, write and ask me.

It could be that I was just being spacey–as in today’s podcast when I called my youngest daughter my oldest daughter–or it could be that I’m wrong and need correction!

What I Meant to Say

Here’s an example. In today’s podcast I talk about some practical ways to change our lives when we’re discontent.

If I’d been on the ball, I would have given you lots of examples rather than just a couple from my own life. I also would have pointed out that sometimes we have to give up what we think we need to be happy–but that that’s not a big deal since God is the only one who can make us truly happy anyway.

But alas, I got sidetracked and didn’t say all those things. I can already see that podcasting will be a wonderful “opportunity” to let go of perfectionism.

Hopefully, this is the last time I’ll correct myself on the blog unless I say something really drastic. But as you listen to future episodes, just keep in mind that I am forgetful, absent-minded, spacey, and technologically challenged so listen to each podcast with that in mind!

Show Notes

I also wanted to let you know that if I reference something in the podcast, I’ll try to include the link to it or information for it in the blog post. Podcasters call the blog post the “show notes” so if you hear me saying that, it’s just the blog post.

Today’s “show notes” include the discontentment questions and Bible verses from I Deserve a Donut (And Other Lies That Make You Eat). Here they are:

https://barbraveling.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/When-Life-is-Hard-Bible-Verses-and-Questions.png Discontentment Bible Verses and Questions
  1. Why are you unhappy?
  2. What do you think will make you happy?
  3. Will that really make you happy? Why or why not?
  4. Are you able to create the conditions you think will make you happy?
    1. Yes: If so, do you think God wants you to work on that? Why or why not?
    2. No: If not, is there anything else you can do to make life better? Explain.
  5. Is God enough to satisfy you, even if you don’t get what you want?
  6. What is one thing you can do to draw closer to Him today?
  7. What is one thing you can do to show love to others today? Be specific.
  8. Is there anything you need to accept?
  9. Is there anything you need to hold with open hands?
  10. Is there anything God wants you to do?
  11. What can you thank God for in this situation?
Discontentment Bible Verses


Psalm 43:5Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. niv

Psalm 40:1-3a I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.

Psalm 63:1 O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; my soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, in a dry and weary land where there is so water.

Psalm 63:7-8 When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches, for You have been my help, and in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy. My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me.

Psalm 68:19-20a Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears our burden, the God who is our salvation. God is to us a God of deliverance.

Psalm 73:25 Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.

Jonah 2:9a But I will sacrifice to You with the voice of thanksgiving.

2 Corinthians 4:8-9 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken, struck down, but not destroyed.

John 16:33 These things I (Jesus) have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage: I have overcome the world.

Philippians 1:21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

Philippians 3:7 But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ.

Philippians 4:11-13 Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Timothy 6:7-8 For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.

1 John 3:16 We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.

<enclosure url=”http://traffic.libsyn.com/christianhabits/02_02__When_Life_is_Too_Hard_-_Letting_Go_of_Discontentment.mp3″ length=”18829961″ type=”audio/mpeg” ></enclosure>

The post 02: When Life is Hard: 11 Questions to Ask appeared first on Barb Raveling.

01: Welcome to the The Christian Habits Podcast05 Jul 201400:03:52

A few months ago, I interviewed my friend Terry who lost 140 pounds. Rather than doing it on video, I thought, I’ll just tape it and then I can make a podcast.

Little did I know how complicated it was to make a podcast! It’s definitely not for the technologically faint of heart!

But thanks to Terry’s wise words of wisdom that I wanted to share with all of you, I persevered. And now I am excited to introduce my new podcast!

I’ll be doing some interviews, some how-to podcasts, and some podcasts you can use to renew your mind with either on the way home from work, while you exercise or clean your house, or anything else you might like to do. I look forward to walking, exercising, cleaning, and commuting with you!

How to Listen to the Podcast

To listen on iTunes: click here

To listen on Stitcher: click here

For a list of all podcast episodes:https://barbraveling.com/christian-podcast/

I’ll try to post a podcast every Wednesday (the interview with my friend is the third episode), at least for the first few months, and will also cut down on my regular posts during this time period so I can put my efforts into the podcast. After it starts becoming routine, then I’ll start doing a mix of regular posts and podcasts.

I hope you enjoy listening to it. This whole thing will be somewhat experimental so please let me know if you have any ideas of how to make the podcasts better! This is definitely a learning-as-I-go experience!

Here’s the first podcast! (Hopefully!) (If you’re getting this post by email, you may need to go to my blog to access it.)

http://traffic.libsyn.com/christianhabits/01_01__Intro_to_The_Christian_Habits_Podcast.mp3

The post 01: Welcome to the The Christian Habits Podcast appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Christian Weight Loss: Is Fun and Easy Possible?24 Apr 201400:05:54

This isn’t a podcast, but it’s listed as a podcast because of the recording.

Suppose you’ve been trying to lose the same 20 pounds (or break that same bad habit) for the last six years.

Every time you start doing well, something comes up: a vacation, a holiday (Easter, for example), a hectic few weeks at work or at home–something that throws you off your weight loss plan.

What you really want is just to relax and enjoy life–eat what you want when you want–and still be able to lose or maintain your weight. Is that too much to ask? After all, aren’t we told that life should be easy?

That we should be able to get what we want with very little effort?

Let’s do an option chart to see if we can get what we want in this situation. Since we also want a close walk with God, let’s add that column to the chart this time.

Once again, I’ll use a recording to explain the chart.  (I explained these charts in my last post. Click here to get that post.) The recording is 5:54, and I apologize for it being a bit “echo-y.” I’m trying to find the best place in the house to do this, and didn’t choose a good room today! To listen to the sound recording, click here.

Options Lose Weight The Good Life!! Relationship with God Lose weight quickly and easily!!!!!!! NOT AN OPTION!!! Give up because it’s too hard. ↓  ↑↓  ?↓ Muster up all the will power you can find and just lose this weight!!!!! You can do it!!!!  ↓  ↓

 ?

Renew your mind every once in awhile to see if that helps. ?↓ ↓  ?↑ Give up whenever it’s hard and start being good tomorrow!!! ↓ ↑↓  ?↓ Beat yourself up because you’re such a failure.  ↓  ↓  ↓ Commit to 1) lifelong boundaries 2) renewing your mind every single time you break your boundaries. Get an accountability partner if you can’t make yourself renew your mind.  ↑  ↓↑

 ↑

P.S. In order for an option chart to be a true “renewing of the mind” tool, you would need a  “Relationship with God” column as that will help you look at life from a biblical perspective.

P.S.S. I’m thinking of starting a podcast. If anyone has any advice for me or ideas for a title, please let me know! I interviewed my friend who lost 140 pounds this week and was fascinated by all she had to say, but I haven’t been able to figure out how to put it on my blog yet. Any suggestions would be helpful!

Other Weight Loss Resources

Taste for Truth: A 30 Day Weight Loss Bible Study is focused on the lies that make us eat, body image, and the weight loss process. I wrote this Bible study to go along with the questions and Bible verses in I Deserve a Donut, and although you can do the study without I Deserve a Donut, it’s best if you have both books.

I Deserve a Donut (And Other Lies That Make You Eat) is a renewing of the mind resource to use in the midst of temptation and also to prepare yourself for temptation. I use it all the time, just for regular life. It is filled with 36 sets of questions and over 150 Bible verses that you can use to have conversations with God about life and food. The questions and Bible verses will help you renew your mind, taking off the lies that make you eat and putting on the truth that will set you free. It’s also available as a free app.

Freedom from Emotional Eating: A Weight Loss Bible Study is more focused on emotional eating. Although there is material on boundaries and breaking free from the control of food, most of the book is devoted to learning how to let go of negative emotions. The comment I get most often with this book is that yes, it helped me with eating, but it helped me even more with letting go of my negative emotions.

 

The post Christian Weight Loss: Is Fun and Easy Possible? appeared first on Barb Raveling.

How to Let Go of Regret and “If Only” – Option Charts16 Apr 201400:03:47

Do you ever say, “If only I hadn’t messed up,” or “If only life were easier?”  “If only I had made a different choice?”  “If only I were more like so-and-so?”

So often we live in the land of “if only” and “I should have.” This is not a pleasant place to live.

Not only does this sap our energy and make us constantly discontent with life, it also keeps us from looking at our real-life options.

We spend so much energy thinking about what we should have done or what we wish life were like, that we have no energy left over to stop and think, “Okay, I can’t change reality, but what can I do?” And is what I’m currently doing, working?

If you struggle with regret and if only, an option chart will help you renew your mind. Since this is kind of a hard tool to describe, I’m going to try to be a real techy person and explain it in a recording.

Since this is the first time I’ve ever tried to put a recording on my blog and I’m not a techy person by any stretch of the imagination, let’s use my own trial today for example. First I’ll truth journal and then I’ll make an option chart.

Truth Journaling Example

Beliefs: 1. I can’t believe this is so hard. 2. If only I were more of a techy person. 3. Maybe I should do this later. 4. Or use a different example. This isn’t a very good example. 5. Maybe I should skip it altogether since it will be so hard to figure out. 6. Besides, I probably won’t be able to figure it out anyway.

Truths: 1. This is not surprising! Most techy things are hard in the beginning for me. Why should this be any different? 2. But I’m not, so I might as well accept it. God can use this struggle for good in my life. 3. I have been saying that for almost two years now. I could say that ’til the day I die. Let’s just get it over with. 4. Oh well. If I go for perfection, I’ll never get it done. Let’s just do this. 5. No, Barb. You want to do it. Get it done! 6. I bet I will!

Option Chart Example

Truthfully, just truth journaling would probably have been enough to make myself do this, but since this is supposed to be a post about option charts, I better continue on! Here are the steps to making an option chart:

  1. Put in the column headings. List what you want in the column headings. In this case I want a recording on my blog, but I also want an easy life. I also want a close relationship with God, so when I’m making my own option charts, I always include a “Relationship with God” column. But because I can’t fit three columns in the blog format and my main purpose of this post is to show you how to make an option chart, I’ll leave the “Relationship with God” column out of it.
  2. List what you really want: In this case, what I really want is for it to be EASY to put a recording on my blog.
  3. Cross out that option if it’s not a real-world option and write “NOT AN OPTION!!!” in huge bold letters to drill it into your head that this is not a real-life option so you might as well stop thinking about it!
  4. List some real world options. Try to include the ones you’ve been using.
  5. Evaluate each option by placing up and down arrows. Up if they’ll get you what you want. Down if it won’t.

A recording on my blog

The Fun & Easy Life

Get this recording on the blog (and write this post) in 15 minutes with little effort!!!

NOT  AN

OPTION!!!!!!!!!!! Give up: Just say, “I’m never going to put a recording on my blog because it’s too hard.”

Keep planning to do it but never get around to it.

Beat myself up because I’m such an inept person.

 ↓

 ↓

Try to do it, but demand perfection!!

 ↓

Accept the fact that 1) this won’t be easy and 2) it may not be very good. Remember that life is about God and that 1) I should be willing to sacrifice for Him and 2) I don’t need a perfect recording because God loves me no matter what so that even if everyone in the world says, “Barb, this is a terrible recording!” God will say, “Who cares? Life isn’t about perfect recordings!”

↓↑↑

Audio for Option Chart Explanation

If you’d like to listen to my explanation of these charts, click on the play button at the top of this blog or below. The recording is 3 minutes 47 seconds in length, and surprisingly–after procrastinating this project forever–it took about 25 minutes to figure out and do!

http://traffic.libsyn.com/christianhabits/Option-Chart-Explanation-4.16.14-blog.mp3

 

What I always find when I do option charts—and you can do these for all areas of your life—is that I regularly do those middle options—the ones with all the down arrows. When I see what those options are doing to the rest of my life, it opens up my eyes to how crazy I’m being.

The option chart is a great way to renew your mind, especially if you’re dealing with regret or wishing life could be different. If you’d like to give it a try, click on this link for a blank option chart, or just draw your own in your journal: Option Chart.

Note: This wouldn’t really be a renewing of the mind (looking at life from a biblical perspective) experience unless you had a “relationship with God” column. I have a full explanation of the process with a relationship with God column in Freedom from Emotional Eating. 

Update: Here is another post with a relationship with God column: Christian Weight Loss: Is Fun and Easy Possible?

The post How to Let Go of Regret and “If Only” – Option Charts appeared first on Barb Raveling.

9 Questions That Will Help You Stop Procrastinating16 Nov 201300:12:59

I still remember the look and the feel of the cookies in my college dorm’s candy machine. Great big sandwich cookies filled with vanilla cream.

The perfect thing for avoiding homework. The perfect thing for gaining twenty pounds while avoiding homework.

College was the place I learned to procrastinate, and food was my chosen vice. Instead of studying for tests, I would eat.

The idea was that if I could just get a little treat to study with, then studying would be more fun. And of course it was more fun—for about five or ten minutes. But then I finished the cookie and the fun was over.

This started a pattern that lasted for more than thirty years. Have a hard job? Put it off. Hope it goes away. When the situation becomes desperate, break down and do it.

Not a very efficient way to live life.

Thanks be to God He is able to break us free from bad habits no matter how long we’ve been enslaved by them. After years of sporadically renewing my mind in this area of my life, I am finally learning how to set goals and accomplish them.

New Course: How to Stop Procrastinating

 Click here to find more info.

One of the ways I renew my mind is to ask myself the procrastination questions in The Renewing of the Mind Project or I Deserve a Donut (And Other Lies That Make You Eat whenever I don’t feel like working.

I journal through the questions in my journal (or in my mind if I can’t make myself journal), and usually I find myself actually wanting to do the dreaded task as I answer the questions. Why? Because truth changes desires. And answering the questions helps me see the truth. Here are the questions from The Renewing of the Mind Project:

9 Questions That Will Help You Stop Procrastinating 
  1. What would you like to accomplish? Be specific.
  2. Why don’t you want to work on that right now?
  3. Based on past experience, what usually happens when you tell yourself you’ll do a job later?
  4. If you put this off now, when do you think you’ll end up doing it? (Be honest.)
  5. In the long run, is the procrastination life the good life? Why or why not?
  6. If you want to finish this job, will you eventually have to make the sacrifice to work on it?
  7. What would you gain by doing it right now?
  8. What’s the first thing you need to do if you want to work on this job? (Example: Get out your notebook, open the computer file, look up the telephone number, etc.)
  9. Why don’t you do that right now and see how it goes from there?

Note: If the job seems overwhelming, try breaking it into smaller steps. Each step should be fairly easy and non-intimidating. After breaking it into steps, block the whole project from your mind and focus on one step at a time.

P.S. Click here for Bible verses on procrastination.

Question: Do you procrastinate? Do you have any good tips for overcoming procrastination?

The post 9 Questions That Will Help You Stop Procrastinating appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Practicing the Presence of Jesus with Joni Eareckson Tada24 Oct 202300:22:00

Do stressful situations steal your peace? Have you allowed the disappointments in your life to keep you from feeling close to Jesus? Do you wish to experience the calm you feel in your quiet moments with God all throughout your day? In my interview on the Christian Habits Podcast (links below), Joni Eareckson Tada shares wisdom from her personal life experiences about learning to stay close to Jesus all throughout the day. We also discuss her newest book, The Practice of the Presence of Jesus.

What We Discussed on the Podcast
  • How a tragic accident early in Joni’s life began to change her relationship with Jesus
  • Why Joni can be grateful for the suffering that she has endured
  • How to put up our spiritual antennae each day
  • How practicing the presence of Jesus takes the edge off of our pain
  • The pathway to joy in any situation
  • How learning to rely on the Lord is a rewarding discipline – but it takes practice
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast About Joni Eareckson Tada

Joni Eareckson Tada is an esteemed Christian stateswoman and respected global leader in disability advocacy. Although a 1967 diving accident left her a quadriplegic, she emerged from rehabilitation with a determination to help others with similar disabilities. Mrs. Tada serves as CEO of Joni and Friends, a Christian organization which provides programs and services for thousands of special needs families around the world. President Reagan appointed Mrs. Tada to the National Council on Disability, then reappointed by President George H.W. Bush. During her tenure, the ADA was passed and signed into law. Mrs. Tada served as advisor to Condoleezza Rice on the Disability Advisory Committee to the U.S. State Department. She served as Senior Associate for Disability Concerns for the Lausanne Committee for World Evangelization. The Colson Center on Christian Worldview awarded Joni Tada its prestigious William Wilberforce Award, and she was also inducted into Indiana Wesleyan University’s Society of World Changers. Joni Eareckson Tada has been awarded several honorary degrees, including Doctor of Humanities from Gordon College and Doctor of Divinity from Westminster Theological Seminary. She is an effective communicator, sharing her inspirational message in books, through artwork, radio, and other media. Joni Tada served as General Editor of the Beyond Suffering Bible, a special edition published by Tyndale for people affected by disability. Joni and her husband Ken were married in 1982 and reside in Calabasas, California.

How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

The post Practicing the Presence of Jesus with Joni Eareckson Tada appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Susie Larson: Staying Strong in Battle26 Sep 202300:33:29

Has the joy and peace in your life been replaced by stress and strife? Is your inner narrative filling you with thoughts of despair? Do you find yourself questioning God’s goodness? If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, you may be in the midst of a spiritual battle. My guest today on the Christian Habits Podcast (links below), Susie Larson, shares such valuable wisdom from her very personal experiences in spiritual warfare, and from her book Strong in Battle.

What We Discussed on the Podcast
  • How to discern the schemes of the enemy
  • The negative effect of  apathy and passivity in the Christian life
  • Why it truly is that the “poor in spirit” inherit the Kingdom
  • How Susie’s trials have taught her to aggressively contend for the promises of God
  • How to discern the signs that you may be in a spiritual battle
  • How the disappointments of life can lead us to believing lies about God
  • Three questions to ask when you are disappointed
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast About Susie Larson SUSIE LARSON is a national speaker, a bestselling author, and the host of the daily talk show Susie Larson Live, heard on the Faith Radio Network. Susie has written twenty books and many articles. She’s been a guest on Focus on the Family, the Life Today show, FamilyLife Today, as well as many other media outlets. Twice voted a top-ten finalist for the John C. Maxwell Transformational Leadership Award, she is also a veteran of the fitness field. Susie has been married to her dear husband, Kevin, since 1985, and together they have three wonderful sons, three beautiful daughters-in-law, three beautiful grandchildren, and one adorable pit bull named Memphis. Susie’s passion is to see people everywhere awakened to the value of their soul, the depth of God’s love, and the height of their calling in Christ Jesus. Connect with Susie on Facebook, Instagram, or at SusieLarson.com. How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

The post Susie Larson: Staying Strong in Battle appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Dannah Gresh: Finding Healing for Your Marriage22 Aug 202300:31:06

Marriage is hard, we all agree. And when a spouse has an addiction to pornography, a marriage can be stretched to its breaking point. However, when God is involved, there is always hope! On today’s episode of the Christian Habits Podcast (links below), my guest, Dannah Gresh shares about this particular struggle in her own marriage which was the inspiration for her newest book, Happily Even After.

What We Discussed on the Podcast
  • The painful cycle of pornography addiction
  • How the effects of sexual sin are different than other sins
  • The essential action that is the doorway to healing in a marriage
  • The two choices we are faced with when confronting destructive addiction in marriage
  • How compassion for the addicted spouse begins the healing process
  • Dannah’s recommendations regarding therapy for marriages in crisis
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast About Dannah Gresh

DANNAH GRESH is a best-selling author and sought-after speaker. Her best-selling titles include And the Bride Wore White, Lies Young Women Believe co-authored with Nancy Leigh DeMoss, and Lies Girls Believe. Dannah is the co-host of Revive Our Hearts, a daily podcast for women, and the founder of True Girl, which provides mom+daughter connection tools including the True Girl podcast.

Dannah has sold over 2 million books and reaches women and girls in more than 100 countries. She and her husband Bob live in State College, Pennsylvania on a small farm that could be confused as a petting zoo. Horses, llamas, peacocks, chickens, goats, dogs and cats abound. The family pastime is chasing whoever—or whatever—might be loose. Find Dannah online at dannahgresh.com.

How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

The post Dannah Gresh: Finding Healing for Your Marriage appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Sarah J. Hauser: Finding Rest When Life is Hard25 Jul 202300:28:37

Are you going through a hard season right now? Does God feel silent? Sarah J. Hauser, my guest on the Christian Habits Podcast (links below), is no stranger to these difficulties. In our interview, she shares about her new book, All Who are Weary: Finding True Rest by Letting Go of the Burdens You were Never Meant to Carry, and about the difficult season she went through to learn the truths she writes about.

What We Discussed on the Podcast
  • Sarah’s battle with depression
  • How a perfectionist mindset can manifest in unexpected (and harmful) ways
  • The antidote to perfectionism
  • How we should respond to God’s offer of rest found in Matthew 11
  • What we should do when God feels silent in our suffering
  • How trials often force us to examine what we truly believe about God
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast About Sarah J. Hauser

SARAH J. HAUSER is a writer and speaker living in the Chicago suburbs with her husband and four kids. She shares biblical truth to nourish the soul — and the occasional recipe to nourish the body. Sarah completed her B.A. and M.A. at Wheaton College. She’s a member
of the Redbud Writers Guild and has written for Coffee + Crumbs, Risen Motherhood, The Rabbit Room, The Gospel Coalition, (in)courage, and more. Find her at sarahjhauser.com, on Instagram (@sarah.j.hauser), or check out her monthly newsletter at sarahjhauser.com/subscribe.

How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

The post Sarah J. Hauser: Finding Rest When Life is Hard appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Andrea Herzer: Living with Chronic Pain and Illness27 Jun 202300:30:21

Do you suffer from chronic pain or a debilitating illness? Have you recently received a difficult diagnosis? Or are you or a loved one simply going through a difficult trial right now? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you will be greatly encouraged by my interview with Andrea Herzer about her new book: Incurable Faith: 120 Devotions of Lasting Hope for Lingering Health Issues.

What We Discussed on the Podcast
  • How to find God’s presence in the pain
  • How God sends encouragement in unexpected ways
  • Why it’s important to cultivate strong relationships with other Christians when facing an illness
  • The power of the word “yet” to turn our laments into worship
  • How to find contentment and joy in the midst of a life you really don’t want to be living
  • How shifting our mindset can transform the way we go through a trial
  • Andrea’s special reminders for anyone who’s recently been given a tough diagnosis
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

The post Andrea Herzer: Living with Chronic Pain and Illness appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Jamie Erickson: Cultivating Holy Hygge30 May 202300:33:03

Do you often feel rushed and like you’re not really enjoying life? Does your heart long for rest and for sweet fellowship with dear friends? If so, you’ll be encouraged by the Danish practice of hygge (HYOO-guh) which my podcast guest, Jamie Erickson, discusses in her latest book: Holy Hygge: Creating a Place for People to Gather and the Gospel to Grow. Today’s episode of the Christian Habits Podcast (links below) considers the beautiful practice of true hospitality.

What We Discussed on the Podcast
  • How, for the Christian, hygge is much more than décor and creating a cozy atmosphere
  • The three main excuses we use to not show hospitality
  • How true hospitality differs from merely entertaining friends
  • Some practical tips to make opening our home to others easier to do
  • One answer to loneliness (hint: it’s not more friends!)
  • Some helpful practices to cultivate contentment
Resources Mentioned on this Episode About Jamie Erickson

When she’s not curating memories, hoarding vintage books, or homeschooling her five kids, JAMIE ERICKSON can be found encouraging and equipping a growing tribe of mothers all across the globe on the Mom to Mom podcast, through her blog The Unlikely Homeschool, at national conferences, and in her book Homeschool Bravely: How to Squash Doubt, Trust God, and Teach Your Child With Confidence

How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

The post Jamie Erickson: Cultivating Holy Hygge appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Mary DeMuth: Parenting Your Adult Kids with Joy02 May 202300:28:03

It can be hard to transition from parenting young kids or even teenagers to parenting adult children. That becomes even more difficult when our kids make choices that worry us. In today’s Christian Habits Podcast episode (links below), I visit with Mary DeMuth about her new book, Love, Pray, Listen: Parenting Your Wayward Adult Children with Joy. Mary gives us welcome advice for parenting our adult children with joy.

What We Talked About on the Podcast
  • How to keep from being emotionally distraught over the choices of your adult children
  • Why it’s important to grieve when our kids take a different path than we would have liked for them to
  • How the influence of culture – louder than ever, today, due to social media – is subverting the teaching of parents
  • What is deconstruction and is it always harmful?
  • How to use 1 Corinthians 13  to love your children well
  • Apologizing to your adult children
  • The importance of making your home a safe haven and how to make that happen
  • Remembering that biblical love is the ability to tenderly care for your children when you disagree while still holding to biblical truth
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast About Mary DeMuth

Mary DeMuth is an international speaker, a podcaster, and the author of over forty books, fiction and nonfiction, includingThe Day I Met Jesus. Through God’s healing, Mary has overcome a difficult past to become an authentic example of what it means to live a brand-new story. She loves to help others“re-story”their lives through the books she writes. Mary lives inTexas with her husband of 30 years and is Mom to three adult children. Learn more at marydemuth.com

Get Mary’s free ebook: A Year of Weekly Prayers for Your Adult Kids.

How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

The post Mary DeMuth: Parenting Your Adult Kids with Joy appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Mark Batterson: How Please, Sorry, and Thanks Can Change Your Life04 Apr 202300:23:19

Mark Batterson is an influential pastor and a prolific author of over twenty-three books. His latest book, Please, Sorry, Thanks: the Three Words that Change Everything digs into how every relationship can be positively affected by a new revelation and application of these three words in our lives. I think you’ll really enjoy my interview with him today on The Christian Habits Podcast (links below).

Things We Discussed on the Podcast
  • How we only need to really be good at three things in our relationships: please, sorry, and thanks
  • Why “please” is much more than just a polite word
  • The shift from a “here I am” to a “there you are” mentality
  • Four principles of peace-making that Mark applies in his ministries
  • Why “sorry” needs to be specific
  • The value of personalizing your “please”
  • The Law of Reciprocity regarding gratitude
  • How a gratitude journal helps us to take every thought captive according to 1 Cor. 10:5
  • Comment on my Facebook page under this episode’s post for a chance to win a free book!
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast Notable Quotes from Please, Sorry, Thanks by Mark Batterson
  • Nothing opens doors like PLEASE. Nothing mends fences like SORRY. Nothing builds bridges like THANKS.
  • Please is the way we level the playing field and find common ground. Please is the way we show respect, even to those we disagree with. Please is the way we bring some civility back to the public square. Please is one of the most important words we can ever say.
  • Without empathy, our apologies are empty. Saying sorry without feeling sorry sends mixed signals. Are you or aren’t you sorry? You have to own the apology!
  • Nothing mends fences like sorry. Every apology begins with empathy. It’s a heart that breaks for the things that break the heart of God.
  • Nothing builds bridges like thanks. The theology of thanks starts with the things we take for granted. It’s cultivating profound gratitude for the things we overlook and under-appreciate.
  • Please is a first-person plural approach to life. It turns “me” into “we.” It’s a win-win approach to relationships.
About Mark Batterson

Mark Batterson is the lead pastor of National Community Church in Washington, D.C. One church in multiple locations, NCC owns and operates Ebenezers Coffeehouse, The Capital Turnaround, Miracle Theatre and the DC Dream Center. Mark is the New York Times bestselling author of 23 books, including Please, Sorry, Thanks: The Three Words That Change Everything and Win the Day, as well as several books for children, including The Best Worst Day Ever, written with his daughter Summer. Mark and his wife, Lora, live on Capitol Hill and have three children. Visit markbatterson.com and @‌MarkBatterson for more information.

How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

The post Mark Batterson: How Please, Sorry, and Thanks Can Change Your Life appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Embracing Trust with Joanna Weaver07 Mar 202300:49:23

Do you ever find yourself wondering why certain things are happening in your life? Or paralyzed with regret, spending too much time in woulda-coulda-shoulda thinking? Are you afraid to admit that, at times, you question whether or not God really is good?

If you can relate to any of these questions, I invite you to listen to my interview with Joanna Weaver on today’s episode of the Christian Habits Podcast (links below). We discuss her newest book, Embracing Trust, and how to live with abiding peace and joy in the good times and the bad!

Things We Discussed on the Podcast
  • How trust is more than surrender
  • Letting go of “if only”
  • Joanna’s Four Unshakeable Truths
  • How expectations factor into our willingness to trust God
  • Making peace with the mystery of our lives
  • The concept of handling competing ideas
  • Learning to trust God’s process
  • Overcoming perfectionist tendencies
  • Being willing to let God change our identity
  • How to glory in weaknesses, as Paul did, instead of resenting them
  • Encouragement from the lives of Moses, David and Joseph, and how they had to learn to trust the outcome of their lives to God
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast About Joanna Weaver

With more than 1.6 million books in print, Joanna Weaver is the bestselling and award-winning author of Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, as well as Having a Mary Spirit, Lazarus Awakening, and At the Feet of Jesus devotional. A pastor’s wife, mother of three, and avid Bible teacher, Joanna loves speaking to women about the powerful freedom that is found in making Jesus Lord and trusting Him for things bigger than themselves. She lives with her family in Hamilton, Montana.

How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

The post Embracing Trust with Joanna Weaver appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Kirby Kelly: You Can Be Free: Overcoming Temptation and Habitual Sin by the Power and Promises of the Gospel27 Aug 202400:30:39

Have you thought to yourself: I’ll never get over this? Have you tried over and over again to get out from underneath the control of a habit or a sin in your life only to be discouraged once again? If so, you will be greatly encouraged by my interview with Kirby Kelly about overcoming temptation which is the subject of her book: You Can Be Free: Overcoming Temptation and Habitual Sin by the Power and Promises of the Gospel. You, too, can find freedom from your habits and addictions!

What We Discussed on the Podcast
  • How Kirby’s picturesque home was not all that it seemed
  • Kirby’s personal struggle with habitual sin and how she finally overcame it
  • How these specific tactics of the enemy are always the same
  • Kirby’s “battle plan”  for temptation
  • The “super-human / sub-human” cycle
  • The importance of confession within community
Resources We Mentioned on the Podcast About Kirby Kelly

Kirby Kelly is a Christ-centered content creator and influencer. She runs the Bought + Beloved podcast along with content on her YouTube channel, Instagram, and TikTok. She uploads weekly content that inspires, encourages, and teaches people the Truth of the Bible and how to cultivate a relationship with Jesus. Her passion is teaching God’s truth everywhere she goes; on stages and in front of cameras, through writing and one-on-one conversations. Kirby desires to see this generation and culture flourish in freedom and confidence in their identity and to walk in the victory that has been won on the Cross. kirby-kelly.com

How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on YouTube: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

The post Kirby Kelly: You Can Be Free: Overcoming Temptation and Habitual Sin by the Power and Promises of the Gospel appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Christian Loneliness: How to Stop Being Lonely08 Feb 202300:26:18

We live in an age where people are more connected than ever through social media and email, yet loneliness is rampant in all age groups. It’s easy to feel lonely even when we’re surrounded by people both online and in our own lives. We’re not the only ones who feel this way.

Mother Teresa once said, “The greatest disease in the West today is not TB or leprosy; it is being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for. We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love.”

In this post and podcast episode, I’d like to talk about how to cure loneliness if you’re a Christian. We’ll begin with asking the question, “Is it normal to feel lonely?”

Is it normal for Christians to feel lonely?

I would answer that question with a resounding “Yes!” Even Jesus felt lonely. In the Garden of Gethsemane He wanted his disciples with Him yet they were asleep.  I’m guessing He also felt lonely at the cross when so many of His disciples had deserted him. And I can’t imagine He didn’t feel lonely in ministry at times. Over and over, we see Him leaving the crowds and going off to be alone with His Father where He was strengthened to once again do ministry.

We also see King David who had both friends and followers feeling lonely. In Psalm 25:16, he prays, “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.”

And we see Elijah, hiding in a cave in 1 King 19 feeling lonely. God says, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” And Elijah replies, “I’ve been zealous for you, Lord, but I’m the only one left!” Elijah was feeling alone in ministry. God basically tells Elijah, “You are not alone, Elijah! There are 7000 others besides you who haven’t bent the knee to Baal.”

Why does God allow loneliness?

So why does God allow Christian loneliness? Well, the simple answer is that God is not a micromanager! He lets us do our own thing, and often the things we do lead to loneliness. Technology also contributes to loneliness. Think back to the day before television, the Internet, and even the radio weren’t invented yet. My guess is that people were less lonely in those days because they spent more time visiting with each other.

I think God also allows Christians to feel lonely sometimes for things He wants to accomplish in our lives. I remember when several of my good friends moved far away when my kids were young. I was super lonely and unhappy in that phase of my life, but God used my loneliness to draw me closer to Him and also to mature in ways He wanted me to mature.

That said, God doesn’t want us to stay in our loneliness! The two greatest commandments, love God and love others, both speak to relationship. God wants us to be close to Him and others. And He wants us to love well. The more we do that, the less lonely we’ll feel. Loving others involves effort. And the interesting this is that working on breaking free from loneliness will lead toward loving others well. The first step to overcoming loneliness is to find out what is causing it.

What causes loneliness?

I can think of four different causes of Christian loneliness.

  1. Situational Christian Loneliness 

    The most obvious cause is that we don’t have enough friends or family. Or we have friends but they’re not close friends. Or we have friends in our regular life, but we’re currently someplace else where we don’t have friends.  We may also feel lonely if we’re with a group of people who know each other well, yet we’re not part of their group.

  2. Emotional Christian Loneliness

    At other times, we do have friends and family, but we don’t feel like they love us. This happened to me when my kids were young. For some reason, I got on a no-one-loves-me kick and it was hard to get out of it. It can also happen to us if we’re with a group of people who all believe differently than we do, especially if we’ve heard those people condemn people like us. They may still love us (and probably do!) but we think they don’t because we know they don’t care for our beliefs. It can also happen when we see people doing things on social media that we weren’t invited to.

  3. Social  Christian Loneliness

    Another type of Christian loneliness we might experience is a social loneliness. If we’re naturally shy or socially awkward, or if we have low self-esteem, we can look at all those confident outgoing people out there and think we’ll never be able to make friends. This makes us feel more lonely than ever because we don’t feel like we have any hope. And because we’re Christians, we can beat ourselves up over this because we think, “I should be better at this since I’m a Christian!”

  4. Spiritual Christian Loneliness

    As Christians, we have one other opportunity for loneliness and that’s loneliness in our relationship with God. If we’re not feeling close to Him, that can make us feel more lonely than ever.

How do I stop being lonely?

So how do you stop being lonely? After all, we can’t just snap our fingers and feel like we belong all of a sudden! The truth is that it can take quite a bit of work to overcome loneliness. To be successful, we need to make overcoming loneliness a goal, not a desire. And goals take work to accomplish. But it is possible! Following are some steps to end Christian loneliness based on what type of loneliness you’re experiencing.

  1. Situational Loneliness
    1. Be proactive in making friends. This is something I did a few years back when I found myself in the position of needing a couple more friends. I made it a project: find new friends! I had to force myself out of my comfort zone and start asking people to do things. Here’s what I found: The first time you ask someone to go out for coffee or a walk, it feels super awkward. The second time, it’s slightly less awkward. And the third time, it’s fun. But it can take awhile to find a friend. You’ll need to find out if you enjoy being with them, if you have common interests, if you like to talk about the same things, and if they want to spend as much time with you as you want to spend with them. Don’t take it personally if they don’t! Some people don’t value relationships and some are just super busy and don’t have time.
    2. Connect with old friends via the phone. You can also connect with old friends who have moved away. Now that we’re traveling the country (my husband is a travel physical therapist), I’ll often call a friend or family member and visit with them while I walk. Or the two of us will meet with another couple via Facebook for a little chat.
    3. Be proactive in building community.  One of the best ways to make friends is to start groups that meet every week. It will take a little effort in the beginning to set these up, but after you get them set up, you’ll have community each week with very little effort on your part! You could join (or start) a home group at your church, attend a Bible study, form a mom’s group where you visit while the kids play, or find a group that meets around one of your hobbies. My daughter and her husband have a craft night with some of their friends and another friend has a scrapbooking group. When we’re in Montana, we usually go hiking with a big group of friends after church on Sundays. We began it by just asking people at church to go hiking with us one Sunday. We probably rounded up a group of 10 or 12 people just by asking at church! When we’re on the road, we join a home group or Bible study as soon as possible so we have community even though we know we’ll only be in the area for 13 weeks. And it’s surprising how close you can get to people in just 13 weeks!
    4. Find new ways to serve people locally or online. Often we think community is all about fun and family, but there is great community in serving others, and God would love to see us doing this! Spend some time brainstorming ways you could serve. We have friends who do Habitat for Humanity, and I think there’s a group of handymen at our church who do home repairs for people. You could call the Chamber of Commerce and see if there is a volunteer organization in your town that matches volunteers with programs. Or look for ways to serve through your church.
  2. Emotional Loneliness
    1. Let go of unrealistic expectations for how people love you. The first step to overcoming emotional loneliness is to recognize that it’s natural to feel lonely at times. We live in a fallen world and no one is perfect at loving so sometimes we’ll feel lonely because others aren’t loving us well.
    2. Let go of envy. It also helps to recognize that we don’t know the whole story when it comes to other people’s relationships. So when you see that perfect couple on Facebook, you don’t know how perfect they are in real life. I remember at a low point in my own marriage, looking at two other marriages in my town and thinking, “I wish my husband were more like that man.” Well, both of those marriages ended up in divorce a few years down the road because even though those men had many wonderful traits, they also had some really non-wonderful traits that caused their wives to leave them.
    3. Recognize that some stages of life are more prone to loneliness. Also recognize that each stage of life has its pluses and minuses in the loneliness department. When my kids were middle schoolers and teenagers I was rarely lonely because I had built-in friends in the house. But when they all left home, I had plenty of opportunities for loneliness. I also remember being lonely in college when I lived alone but not so lonely when I lived in a dorm full of friends. So if you’re in a more lonely stage of life, you’ll have to be more proactive (see situational loneliness for ideas) about making friends.
    4. Believe that people love you. It also helps to think about who does love you when you’re feeling lonely. Name actual names of people! This doesn’t always work though because when I was going through my no-one-loves-me phase, I felt like the only person who loved me was our super loving two year old! I was wrong. Lots of people loved me but I was too insecure to see it. Renewing my mind (see #2 in Social Loneliness) would have helped me greatly at that time in my life but I hadn’t written my book yet so I didn’t have that tool!
    5. Develop a thankfulness habit. This is a great step to take no matter what our problem is! For loneliness, it will help if we start thanking God for all the people in our lives. Thank Him for all the people who love you and that will help you to believe that they love you.
  3. Social Loneliness
    1. Focus on others. If your loneliness is caused by shyness or social awkwardness, it helps to focus on others. At one stage of my life when I felt intimidated at social gatherings, I would pray through 1 Corinthians 13 on the way to the gathering with the people there in mind. It helped me to get the focus off myself and onto others, which led to feeling more comfortable at the gather and also experiencing more connection since I was focused on others, not myself.
    2. Renew your mind. If you have low self-esteem, try renewing your mind before you meet with a friend or go to a social event. Use any of the insecurity questions in my books The Renewing of the Mind Project or my I Deserve a Donut app. It can take a bit of work to get to the point where we don’t feel insecure, but it’s worth the work! The key to overcoming insecurity is not to get to the point where we think we’re great, but to get to the point where we’re more focused on others rather than ourselves and where we’re willing to be vulnerable to love them well.
    3. Ask God to help you connect with others. Sometimes we’re lonely because we don’t value relationships. When I was a teenager, I remember playing the piano in my home and singing a song made popular by Barbra Streisand called “People.” The song said that people who need people were the luckiest people in the world – but I didn’t feel like I needed people at the time. So while I sang, I asked God to help me be a person who needed people. And He did! I love people and need people so I go out of my way to make connections with people. If you don’t feel that need, ask God to help you value people and relationships.
    4. Work on your faults. One last thing we can do to overcome social loneliness is to work on character traits that make people not want to be with us. We all have faults so we don’t want to slip into self-condemnation here, but some faults are harder to be around than others. If we’re constantly complaining or negative, or if we talk all the time, or say rude things or give advice all the time, or if we don’t talk at all and never ask questions of others–all of these things can make people not want to be with us. So out of love for others, we could go to God for help with changing those things so we can love others better.
  4. Spiritual Loneliness
    1. Put effort into your relationship with God. The only way to overcome spiritual Christian loneliness is to get closer to God. It’s been said that there is a God-shaped whole in each of us that can only be filled with God. Yet it takes work to grow closer to God!  Jeremiah 29:13 says, “You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.” Seeking God with our whole hearts is different than just doing a 5-minute duty-driven quiet time each morning. Instead, it’s making a relationship with God as important as a relationship with a close friend or a spouse. Spending both quality and quantity time with Him.
    2. Develop a renewing habit. One of the best ways I’ve found to do this is to start a renewing of the mind habit. When I began a regular practice of  going to God to see life and people through His perspective, I grew closer to Him. I started this journey with truth journaling more than twenty years ago and it has continued to draw me near to God all these year.
    3. Do a Bible study that helps you discuss life with God. Have you ever had an intimate conversation with someone you didn’t know that well? I find that those types of conversations always make me feel closer to that person. But often our conversations with God are one-sided. It can help us feel closer to Him if we learn how to discuss life with Him. I have lots of free Bible studies on this website that will help you with that (just look at the Bible study tab), or you could also try my James Bible study or RALLY Bible study. Here’s a lesson from the James Bible study: Letting Go of Anger and Annoyance.

Well, that’s about it. I hope you’re not feeling too overwhelmed by all these ideas! The bottom line is that we can break free from Christian loneliness but it takes a bit of work. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by all of these ideas, just print out this post and circle the ideas that appeal to you, then narrow it down to 1-3 ideas to start out with. Then ask God for help and give it a whirl! You’ll not only be helping yourself, you’ll also be helping all the other lonely people out there who are looking for friends!

How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

The post Christian Loneliness: How to Stop Being Lonely appeared first on Barb Raveling.

A More Loving Way to Disagree with Mike Donehey12 Jan 202300:41:10

Do you have loved ones in your life with whom you disagree? Do you find it hard to engage with someone who has a different opinion than yours? Are you prone to just “agree to disagree” when beliefs differ? If any of these are true for you, my interview today on the Christian Habits Podcast with Mike Donehey (links below) will give you a more peaceful approach and practical tips to have more healthy conversations when divisive topics arise.

What We Discussed on the Podcast
  • The importance of how we disagree rather than just what is said
  • How to gently engage another person with curiosity
  • Maintaining openness with someone who has left the faith allows them a way back
  • According to Romans 2:4, it’s God’s kindness that leads us to repentance
  • When you’re confident in what you believe, you aren’t threatened by another’s questions
  • When someone feels understood, it often drains away animosity
  • How “agreeing to disagree” isn’t always the best way
  • How to not become a “smug monster”
  • Why Mike believes that bitterness is the most dangerous sin
  • Why it’s always more important to love the other person than to win the argument
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast Notable Quotes from Mike’s Book

“If we are to love in the gray spaces—the places where our arguments find just footing on either side—curiosity and kindness must lead the way. Our desire to be heard must not overpower our need to hear what others are saying. Our desire to be understood must not overshadow our need to understand others.”

“When grace is our baseline, then being disapproved of no longer feels like being disowned. We can even invite in divergence because we know where we stand. We know whose love we stand in.”

About Mike Donehey

Mike Donehey is a singer, songwriter, podcast host, and former lead singer of the Christian contemporary band Tenth Avenue North. He’s also the author of Grace in the Gray: A More Loving Way to Disagree (WaterBrook; on sale 1/17/23) and the bestselling author of Finding God’s Life for My Will. Mike, his wife, Kelly, and their four daughters live in Nashville, Tennessee. He’s also the host of Chasing the Beauty podcast. For more information, visit mikedonehey.com, or find Mike on his social channels: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or TikTok.

How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

The post A More Loving Way to Disagree with Mike Donehey appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Purposeful, Present, and Wildly Productive with Jordan Raynor14 Dec 202200:44:22

If you’ve ever experienced stress over your personal productivity, today’s episode of The Christian Habits Podcast with Jordan Raynor will really encourage you (links below). I talk with Jordan about his book, Redeeming Your Time: 7 Biblical Principles for being Purposeful, Present and Wildly Productive. 

What We Discussed on the Podcast
  • How this book’s advice differs from other “time management” books
  • Having peace in Jesus regardless of your productivity
  • How to centralize “open loops” with a commitment tracking system
  • Learning to accept your “uni-presence”
  • How good works are our worship in response to the gospel
  • Ideas to minimize external and internal distractions
  • How redeeming the time means that we are called to be very selective about what we say “yes” to
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast Notable Quotes from Jordan’s Book

“Our work matters today because it is a means of glorifying God and loving our neighbors as ourselves. But our work also matters for eternity because God can use it to build his kingdom.”

“In today’s distracted world, being fully present is one of the most valuable presents you can give.”

“Which problem, once solved, is going to make most of my other problems easier to solve or disappear entirely?”

“Opportunities that aren’t attached to some meaningful end aren’t opportunities. They are simply possibilities that stir up frantic excitement.”

About Jordan Raynor

Bestselling author Jordan Raynor helps Christians respond to the radical, biblical truth that their work matters for eternity.

He does this through his books including the bestselling Redeeming Your Time: 7 Biblical Principles for Being Purposeful, Present, and Wildly Productive and The Word Before Work: A Monday-Through-Friday Devotional to Help You Find Eternal Purpose in Your Daily Work (WaterBrook; on sale 11/15/22), The Creator in You (children’s book), Mere Christians podcast, and weekly devotional (“The Word Before Work”)—content that has served millions of Christ-followers in every country on earth.

In addition to his writing, Jordan serves as the executive chairman of Threshold 360, a venture-backed tech startup which he previously ran as CEO following a string of successful ventures of his own. Jordan served in the White House under George W. Bush and has twice been selected as a Google Fellow.

Jordan and his books have been featured on dozens of media outlets including CNBC, Fast Company, WIRED Magazine, Forbes.com, In the Market with Janet Parshall, Dad Tired, Ken Coleman Show & The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast. He lives near Tampa, Florida with his wife and their three young daughters. For more information, visit https://www.jordanraynor.com & https://www.instagram.com/jordanraynor How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

The post Purposeful, Present, and Wildly Productive with Jordan Raynor appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Daniel Fusco: Unlocking Resilience When Life is a Mess16 Nov 202200:40:48

When trials and hard times come into our lives, we can find ourselves questioning God and becoming bitter. On today’s episode of The Christian Habits Podcast (links below), I talk with Daniel Fusco about how developing resilience during trials can actually be a path to fruitfulness and growth in our lives, and also about his new book, You’re Gonna Make It.

What We Discussed on the Podcast
  • What is resilience?
  • How hope and grit factor into the resilience equation
  • How to submit to God’s will, no matter what
  • Discovering the fruit that comes from hard times in our lives
  • Learning to walk through trials open-hearted
  • Dispelling the “life is easy” myth
  • The profound growth that happens during trials in our lives
  • Building resilience before the hardship
  • Making space to cultivate hope
  • How the Body of Christ is at its best when our lives are at their worst
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast About Daniel Fusco

Daniel Fusco is an author, a church planter, and the lead pastor of Crossroads Community Church in Vancouver, Washington. His radio program, Jesus Is Real Radio, is broadcast across the country, and his TV show, Real with Daniel Fusco, airs across the globe. He also hosts the popular You’re Gonna Make It podcast and is the author of Crazy Happy, and You’re Gonna Make It. He has written numerous articles for CBN.com, PreachingToday.com, and Relevant. Fusco and his wife, Lynn, have three children and reside in southwest Washington

How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

The post Daniel Fusco: Unlocking Resilience When Life is a Mess appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Jennifer Slattery: 9 Common Idols and How to Resist Them19 Oct 202200:41:01

Do you find yourself looking to other people or things to satisfy you? Are you tempted to doubt that Jesus alone really does offer a life of joy, peace and contentment? On today’s episode of the Christian Habits Podcast (links below), I visit with Jennifer Slattery about nine common idols we are tempted to worship and how to resist them.

What We Discussed on the Podcast
  • What is an idol?
  • Nine common things we are tempted to worship instead of God
  • How idols can hurt our relationships
  • How an inner-angst is an indicator that we may have an idol
  • The process associated with giving up an idol
  • Jennifer’s own struggles with an eating disorder as she struggled with a food idol
  • Wisdom for overcoming idols
  • A great question to ask when deciding to give up an idol
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast About Jennifer Slattery Jennifer Slattery is an author, speaker, and ministry leader passionate about helping God’s children reach their full potential and live fully surrendered to Christ. Find her online at JenniferSlatteryLivesOutLoud.com.

 

 

 

How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

The post Jennifer Slattery: 9 Common Idols and How to Resist Them appeared first on Barb Raveling.

When Life is Hard: 3 Temptations & 3 Solutions21 Sep 202200:21:39

I don’t know about you, but when life is hard, I’m often tempted to do things that aren’t good for me. Eat, for example. Or waste time on my phone. Or sit like a lump on the couch and think of all the things that could possibly go wrong and how my life will be even worse in the future.

What I don’t normally do is run to God for refuge and strength and perspective. At least not first thing. When I do get around to that, I feel about a million times better. My problems don’t seem as huge through the lens of Scripture, and I feel much better soaking in God’s love and protection.

In today’s episode of the Christian Habits Podcast (links below), I talk about three temptations we face when life is hard and three solutions for each temptation. I got the idea for the episode from one of my quiet times a couple of weeks ago.

I was reading about the temptation of Jesus in Matthew 4,  and it made me think about how Jesus responded to His trials and how often we are tempted to respond to our own trials. I’ll include a picture of the notes I made in my Bible below. (I don’t usually draw lines through the Scripture in my Bible, but I was out of room!)

If you’re going through something hard right now, I hope this podcast episode helps you!

What I Discussed on the Podcast
  • How we face all kinds of different trials in our lives
  • What we are often tempted to do in response to hard times
  • The distractions that we often turn to
  • Examples of hard seasons from my own life
  • Solutions to the temptations we face in challenging times
  • Scriptures that I reference – Deut. 6:16, James 1:2-4, Gal. 5:22-23, Ps. 27:13
Resources Talked About on the Podcast

How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

The post When Life is Hard: 3 Temptations & 3 Solutions appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Dana K. White: How to Declutter and Get Organized01 Jun 202200:43:14

Do you feel overwhelmed by the task of getting organized? Does a simple glance around your home or office tell you that clutter is taking over your life? If so, my podcast interview with Dana K. White from A Slob Comes Clean (links below) will offer helpful advice about how to tackle these projects without stress.

 

What We Discussed on the Podcast
  • Coming to terms with our own unique clutter threshold
  • The Container Concept
  • Accepting the reality of the limited space we have
  • How decluttering and cleaning are not the same things
  • What the layers of a clean house are
  • How Dana’s method is different than minimalism
  • How to change our goals about our spaces
  • The Visibility Rule
  • How decluttering is a lifelong process
Resources We Talked About on the Podcast About Dana K. White

Dana K. White is a Wallstreet Journal bestselling author, blogger, podcaster, speaker, and (much to her own surprise) a decluttering expert. In an attempt to get her home under control, Dana started blogging as “Nony” (short for anonymous) at A Slob Comes Clean. Dana soon realized she was not alone in her housekeeping struggles and in her feelings of shame. Today, Dana shares realistic home management strategies with her signature humor and a message of hope for the hopelessly messy through her blog, weekly podcasts, and videos. Dana lives with her husband and three kids just outside of Dallas, Texas. Learn more at www.aslobcomesclean.com.

How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

 

The post Dana K. White: How to Declutter and Get Organized appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Asheritah CiuCiu: Growing a Prayer Habit04 May 202200:45:00

In this interview with Asheritah CiuCiu, we discuss how to grow a prayer habit using the REST method from her new book, Prayers of Rest: 365 Prompts to Hear God’s VoiceIf you find yourself struggling to make prayer a daily habit, Asheritah offers many helpful ways to cultivate this powerful discipline in this episode of the Christian Habits Podcast (links below).

What We Discussed on the Podcast
  • How to make a prayer habit stick by learning, fostering and practicing it
  • Praying through hard emotions
  • How distracting thoughts can actually become prompts in prayer
  • How developing intimacy with God takes time
  • How what we believe about God influences our prayers
  • Written prayers vs. spontaneous prayers
  • How to stop talking and begin listening in prayer
  • The REST prayer method: Recite God’s goodness, Express your neediness, Seek His Stillness, and Trusting God’s faithfulness
  • Praying through scripture
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast About Asheritah CiuCiu

Asheritah Ciuciu is a bestselling author, national speaker, and host of the Prayers of REST podcast. She is the founder of One Thing Alone Ministries, an online ministry that helps women all over the world find joy in Jesus through creative and consistent time in God’s word. Asheritah grew up in Romania as a missionary kid and studied English and Women’s Ministry at Cedarville University. She is married to her high school sweetheart and together they raise their three spunky kids in NE Ohio. Asheritah is the author of several books, including the best-selling Advent devotional Unwrapping the Names of Jesus. Her writing and speaking has been featured on Focus on the Family, Revive Our Hearts, Moody Radio, Relevant Magazine, Proverbs 31, and MOPS International. For more information about Asheritah, her books, and writing/speaking ministry, visit www.asheritah.com.

How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

The post Asheritah CiuCiu: Growing a Prayer Habit appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Joshua Becker: Overcoming Distractions to Live a More Meaningful Life06 Apr 202200:32:19

In Joshua Becker’s new book, Things that Matter, he talks about eight common distractions that keep us from living a meaningful life. Joshua Becker is a former pastor and the founder of the influential Becoming Minimalist blog, where he has been helping millions find more by owning less for the last 15 years. On today’s episode of the Christian Habits Podcast (links below), I visit with Joshua about two of those distractions—the pursuit of leisure and the pursuit of happiness.

Things We Discussed on the Podcast
  • How removing distractions from our lives enables us to realize our fullest potential
  • How the pursuit of money, possessions, accolades, leisure, fear, and past mistakes hold us back
  • Two types of distractions: internal and external
  • The specific distractions of leisure and the pursuit of personal happiness
  • How serving others helps to overcome the victim mentality
  • The idea of retirement is found nowhere in the Bible
  • How to transition from lives of self-centeredness to lives of service
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast About Joshua Becker

Joshua Becker, author of Things That Matter: Overcoming Distractions to Pursue a More Meaningful Life, is also the bestselling author of The More of Less, The Minimalist Home, and founder of Becoming Minimalist, a website dedicated to inspiring others to find more life by owning less. The website welcomes over 1.5 million readers each month and has inspired millions around the world to consider the practical benefits of owning fewer possessions. He is also the creator of Simplify magazine and founder of The Hope Effect, a nonprofit organization changing how the world cares for orphans. He’s a contributing writer to Forbes and has appeared in dozens of media outlets, including Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, CBS Evening News, and “The Drew Barrymore Show.” Joshua and his family live near Phoenix, Arizona. For more information, visit BecomingMinimalist.com.

How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

The post Joshua Becker: Overcoming Distractions to Live a More Meaningful Life appeared first on Barb Raveling.

When You Can’t Make Yourself Read Your Bible – 9 Tips21 Mar 202200:19:47

Do you ever have a hard time making yourself read your Bible? Or do you start out reading, only to find yourself reading the same passage over and over again because you can’t make yourself concentrate?

I spent twenty years of my Christian life struggling to have a daily quiet time. I’d do fine when I was in a church Bible study but when I was on my own, I just didn’t have the discipline to read my Bible. And even with church studies, you’d often find me rushing through all the lessons one hour before class!

Back in those days, I would have loved to have someone take me by the hand and help me develop a daily quiet time habit. Following are some of the things that helped me develop a now 20+ year daily quiet time habit.

Tips to Help You Become Consistent with Bible Reading
  1. Remember your why. Authors of books on goal setting tell us the first thing we need to do is know our “why.” In other words, why do we want to develop this habit? Take a minute and write down as many reasons as possible of why you want to develop a Bible reading habit, then refer back to that list each morning you don’t feel like reading! Here are some reasons I thought of: to grow closer to God, be conformed to His image, find insight for current life, see how Jesus lived life, learn from other believers’ stories, store up truth to combat the world’s lies, gain comfort and strength, find good verses to memorize and meditate on, gain counsel for everyday life. For more ideas, check out Psalm 119!
  2. Start small. Habit experts tell us our best chance of developing a habit is to start small. So instead of saying, “I’ll read my Bible for one hour a day,” set a smaller goal. 15 minutes a day, maybe. Or even 5 minutes a day. Whatever you think you can make yourself follow through on. You can always up the time after your habit is established.
  3. Don’t be a perfectionist. Because I’m not a perfectionist when it comes to quiet times, it surprised me when women told me they feel they need to spend at least an hour in quiet time for it to be legitimate. I often spend an hour in quiet time, but if I felt like I had to, it might make me procrastinate or skip my quiet time! Try to remember that your Bible reading time is relationship-with-God time. And all amounts of time are good!
  4. Find something that engages your mind. This was one of my problems back in my can’t-make-myself-read-my-Bible years. I read through the whole Bible after becoming a Christian in 7th grade, but then I wasn’t sure what to do next. I thought, I’ve already read the Bible. Now, what do I do? Well, obviously the answer was, “Read it again!” but at that time, I’d lost my motivation to read the Bible again. When that happens to you, look for a Bible study that will engage your mind. One that makes you think. I actually wrote the questions in my new Bible study on James during one of my own quiet times when I couldn’t make myself focus on the Bible. I love Bible studies that make me think, whether they are topical or a book-of-the-Bible study.
  5. Focus on fellowshipping with God rather than checking “read Bible” off the list. If you view your relationships with people as duties rather than fun times to be with them, you won’t want to get together with them. It’s the same with Bible reading. If you view it as a duty, rather than time to fellowship with God, you won’t want to do it. Take time when you’re reading to visit with God about anything that pops up in your reading. I like to read small portions of Scripture each day so I have plenty of time to think about it, see how it interacts with my life, and talk to God about it.
  6. Don’t feel like your Bible reading has to be in the morning. My husband does his Bible reading at night because he is like a walking zombie in the morning. He likes to wake up, start his coffee, then sit in the dark drinking it. Rather than trying to force his mind to wake up that early, he does his Bible reading at night.
  7. Join a group study or find an accountability partner. Group studies really helped me in the old days when I didn’t have much discipline. It can also help to have an accountability partner. This blog post will give you ideas on how to set that up: Christian Accountability Partner: A Beginner’s Guide.
  8. Expect opposition. Often we stumble because we expect habits to be easy. So when we miss Bible reading for a couple of days, we think, I’m not capable of this, and give up. We’ll be more likely to succeed if we expect it to be hard. Because here’s the truth: It is hard! Not only do we have our flesh saying, “Let me sleep just a little longer!” we also have an enemy who doesn’t want us to read our Bibles. Satan is the father of lies and he doesn’t want you to develop a Bible reading habit. Here is a podcast episode that will help you defeat those lies: Consistent Quiet Times: 10 Lies That Get in the Way.
  9. Don’t beat yourself up when you fail. Not only does Satan lie to us, but he also condemns us. So when we beat ourselves up for not following through on Bible reading, we’re playing into his condemning tactics. God is a God of grace and He is for us. He knows what it’s like to be tempted so He’s not a bit surprised when we don’t follow through on things He wants us to do. Know that you won’t be able to do this perfectly but just continue to persevere to make it a habit. Look at the tips in today’s post to see if one of those might help you follow through with daily Bible reading.

That’s about it. I tried to come up with one more tip so it would be an even ten, but I couldn’t think of one! My prayer is that you will be able to develop a Bible reading habit that fills your soul and draws you closer to God. If you’d like help with a study that will engage your mind, check out my latest book below.

James Bible Study

This is a Bible study I didn’t set out to write. It came out of one of my own quiet times when I couldn’t make myself focus on the Bible. After several times reading the same paragraph over and over because I couldn’t concentrate, I thought, Maybe if I write some questions down first, it will be easier to concentrate.

I did that and I loved the process. Not only did the questions help me apply the passage to my life at the moment, they also drew me closer to God as I used that Bible passage to visit with Him about what was going on in my life.

If you’d like to see a sample of two of the 20 lessons in James, check out these blog posts (you’ll find the lessons at the end of each blog post):

Other Resources Mentioned on the Podcast How to Listen to the Podcast Version of this Blog Post
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

The post When You Can’t Make Yourself Read Your Bible – 9 Tips appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Single Today with Ryan Wekenman (for Singles & Marrieds)07 May 202400:48:09

Are you a single person? Or a married person who struggles with regret, overthinking, or worrying about what the future may (or may not) hold? If you fit into either of these categories, today’s Christian Podcast episode will help! I’ll be visiting with Ryan Wekenman about his new book, Single Today: Conquer Yesterday’s Regrets, Ditch Tomorrow’s Worries, and Thrive Right Where You Are.

I love Ryan’s new book and found it incredibly helpful, even though I’ve been married for 42 years. I only wish his book had been available back when I was single. It’s a spiritual formation and Christian growth book, but it’s also an incredibly helpful how-to manual for living a vibrant, rewarding life as a single person (or a married person). Join us on the podcast today as we discuss Ryan’s new book and how to live in the present with God each and every day.

What We Discussed on the Podcast
  • Two enemies of singleness
  • The “Tomorrow Trap”
  • How to show up with a win at events where you might struggle with your current station in life
  • The power of “naming it”
  • A grounding strategy when we find ourselves getting too self-focused
  • How to be present in every day, where you are, right now
  • Ways to be intentional about building your community
Resources We Mentioned on the Podcast About Ryan Wekenman

Ryan Wekenman is a storyteller and pastor who is passionate about finding creative ways to help people explore life’s biggest questions. He has a master’s degree from Talbot School of Theology. He is the co-host of two podcasts, Stories in Scripture, a show that brings the Bible to life for people all around the world, and Afterthoughts, a weekly conversation about faith, culture, and the church. Ryan is the teaching pastor of Red Rocks Austin, a young, vibrant church he helped start with a few of his best friends. He lives in Austin, Texas. Connect with Ryan at his website, or on Instagram.

Online Philippians Bible Study

I’d also like to invite you to our online Philippians Bible study, which begins May 15. We’ll be covering the following lessons in that Bible study.

Wednesday mornings classes: 9 am PST, 10 am MST, 11 am CST, 12 pm EST

  • May 15 – Lesson 2: Loving When It’s Hard to Love
  • May 29 – Lesson 6: People Pleasing, Self-Pleasing, and God-Pleasing
  • June 12 – Lesson 15: Letting Go of Anxiety
Tuesday evenings classes: 5 pm PST, 6 pm MST, 7 pm CST, 8 pm EST
  • May 21 – Lesson 4: Letting Go of Idols
  • June 4  – Lesson 11: Finding Your Identity in Christ
  • June 18 – Lesson 16: Learning to Be Content

Click here for more info on the study and to sign up for it: Philippians Online Bible Study

How to Listen to the Podcast:
  • To listen or subscribe on YouTube: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

The post Single Today with Ryan Wekenman (for Singles & Marrieds) appeared first on Barb Raveling.

How to Navigate Life Change (Even if You’re Not Crazy about the New Life)02 Mar 202200:25:23

Are you in the middle of a big life change? Or still adjusting to an old life change? Change can be difficult, even when it’s positive. Yet so many life changes don’t feel one bit positive. Here are  just a few of the life changes we go through:

  • A move
  • Change of occupation: new job, loss of old job, career change, beginning college, etc.
  • Engagement or marriage
  • Divorce or separation
  • Natural disasters and pandemics such as Covid
  • Death of a loved one
  • Serious illness, disease, or injury
  • Children leaving home
  • Retirement of yourself or a spouse

Since I’m experiencing my own life change at the moment (my husband just became a travel physical therapist and we’ve left our home of 30 years to travel around the country doing physical therapy and writing), I thought it might be helpful to do a podcast/blog post on how to navigate major life change. Following are a few things I’m trying as I enter this new season of life.

10 Tips to Navigate Life Change Well
  1. Recognize that it’s hard. So often we say things like, “I shouldn’t be feeling this way,” or “Buck up, Buttercup!” And while I’m a big fan of that latter phrase, it’s helpful to realize that it’s not surprising that we’re struggling. Even a happy occasion like marriage can cause adjustment problems. We’ll do better if we admit to ourselves that yes, this is an adjustment, and yes, it’s hard.
  2. Have realistic expectations for the process and give yourself grace. If you recognize it’s hard, you’ll be more likely to give yourself grace. Beating yourself up for not adjusting quickly enough isn’t helpful. I’ve found that if I have realistic expectations for how long something takes—whether it’s a task on my to-do list or an adjustment to a new situation—I’ll be less likely to get worried, depressed, or beat myself up.
  3. Work on making this new life the best life possible—put time and effort into it. Often, we complain about how hard life is, but we do nothing to change it. Instead, we expect it to get better over time. While this does sometimes happen, we’ll have much more success if we put some effort into making it better. The rest of these tips will give you ideas of how to make the best possible life.
  4. Brainstorm ideas to make life better. When you’re in a new situation, you’re not an expert at that situation. Instead, you need to learn how to be joyful in this new life. Take a list and brainstorm different ways to make it better. Talk to a friend, mentor, or loved one. Visit with someone who’s been in this situation to see how they handled it. Then circle a few things from the list to try.
  5. Join a support group or get involved in a community ASAP. When we moved to our first travel assignment in Santa Fe, the first thing we did was to find a church. We tried two churches in one day and found one we loved. We visited with people in the church, and I mentioned that it was hard to leave our community in Hamilton, Montana. This led to one couple inviting us to a home group and now we have instant community–a group of wonderful people to fellowship with. If your life change is traumatic, look for a support group in your area of others who are going through a similar trial.
  6. Dwell on the good. My tendency is to dwell on the good of the old life and the bad of the new life! This is not helpful! It’s easier to dwell on the good if you have a positive life change, but it can be incredibly difficult with a traumatic life change. That said, God can bring good from any situation. A bad situation is a perfect “opportunity” to develop a thankfulness habit, grow closer to God, and practice dwelling on the good.
  7. Lean on God and expect Him to teach you new lessons. Trusting God isn’t just a trite phrase. It’s an active event where we spend time with Him, time in His Word, time in prayer. The closer we get to God, the happier we’ll be. In fact, in some situations, this may be our only chance for happiness, at least in the beginning. Romans 5:3-5 and James 1:2-4 tell us that hard times are opportunities for growth. Our new pastor in Santa Fe said in a recent sermon that hard times can make us bitter, battered, or better. Leaning on God (rather than the way life used to be) will help them to be better.
  8. Recognize that you’ll have bad days. That said, expect to have bad days. It’s a process. One day you might think, I have this new life down pat! I can handle it now! And then the next day might be a disaster. That’s normal! It takes time to adjust to a new life. Don’t despair and don’t beat yourself up. Instead, trust that God will be by your side to help.
  9. Renew when upset. If I didn’t already have an established renewing habit, my current life would be much worse. As I write this post, we’re only three weeks into our new life. I went from being super depressed the first day here to being positive, hopeful, and excited about this life now. This happened through employing all the previous tips but this last tip was most helpful. Renewing is what helped me to see this experience from a biblical perspective, and more than anything, that’s what helped me be content. I’ll show you one of my renewing entries from the last few weeks below.
  10. Accept what you need to accept. Renewing helps, but often, you’re still left with an unpleasant truth. Your loved one is gone. You lost your job. The government is doing things you don’t like and they’re not asking you for permission. Accepting what we need to accept allows us to move on. It frees us up to pursue the best possible life within the context of what we can’t change. And it also frees us up to look for things—even in this life—to be thankful for. And we are far happy when we’re living in thankfulness.

My husband and I on top of Guadalupe Peak in Texas – we are immensely enjoying our current life change!

Renewing Example: Barb’s Journal Entry – 1/10/22

One of the ways I like to renew my mind is to make an option chart. When you hear the phrase option chart, you might think of a chart that explores all of our possible options. But a renewing option chart explores the options we’re currently taking to see how those options are affecting different outcomes we want: things like our relationship with God, our relationship with others, progress on a goal, or our personal wellbeing.

In the following chart, I’ve listed three things I want: to be happy in our new lifestyle, to feel close to God, and to be able to be productive in this lifestyle. To write and podcast and get other writing-related things done.  I put those at the top of the chart and all of my tendencies on the left side of the chart.

I always start by writing down what I really want, which is always completely unrealistic. In this example, I wrote, “to be perfectly happy all the time during travel therapy.” Since I am NEVER completely happy all the time, even on vacation, it stands to reason I won’t be completely happy in this new life so I listed “NOT AN OPTION” on that line.

With all the other options, I listed an up or down arrow indicating how I thought that action would affect the outcome and then listed a reason I thought it would go that way.  You’ll notice that my middle options almost always have a whole row of down arrows! Yet those are the options I consistently take if left to my own devices.

On the bottom row, I always list what I call the “God” option. I think about it for a bit and record what I think God would want me to do. Then I evaluate that option with arrows. And I almost always discover that God’s plan is best. Option charts help me have the strength to do what God wants me to do because they show me that God’s way really is best.

Following is a picture of my journal entry. Because it’s hard to fit charts in a blog post format, I thought it would be easier to just upload an image. I apologize in advance for my messy handwriting! At the time I wrote this, I had no idea I would be posting it on my blog!

This option chart completely changed my perspective. I’ve also done some truth journal entries that have helped. By making a commitment to regularly renew and also employ some of the other tips I mentioned, I’m able to celebrate and enjoy the good aspects of this experience and live a contented life.

God is good. We just need to go to Him for help to see that life is also good, especially when we’re having a hard time adjusting!

Have you gone through a big life change recently or in the past? I’d love any tips you have for me on how to adjust!

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

 

The post How to Navigate Life Change (Even if You’re Not Crazy about the New Life) appeared first on Barb Raveling.

How to Avoid (or End) an Emotional Affair02 Feb 202200:37:41

If you’ve been married a long time, chances are good you’ve been attracted to someone at some time or another. In today’s podcast, I’ll be visiting with my friend Trish about how to keep that initial attraction from morphing into something that could potentially hurt your marriage, your family, your community, and yourself! We’ll be discussing how to avoid (or end) an emotional affair.

What We Discussed on the Podcast
  • What exactly is an emotional affair?
  • How an innocent friendship can morph into something more
  • Questions to ask ourselves about interactions with the opposite sex
  • Tips for setting boundaries about your relationships with others
  • Tips for how to avoid getting into an emotional affair
  • Helpful ideas about how to end an emotional affair
Resources We Talked About on the Podcast How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

 

The post How to Avoid (or End) an Emotional Affair appeared first on Barb Raveling.

How to Achieve Your Goals – 10 Tips04 Jan 202200:34:40

Do you ever set goals and fail to reach them? I used to do that all the time. The only goals I completed each year were my recreation goals! Over the years, though, I’ve learned some tips to help me be more successful with reaching goals. On today’s podcast, we’ll discuss ten tips about how to achieve your goals this year. I’ve asked my friend and fellow podcaster and writer, Dr. Melanie Wilson, to help me with this podcast as she is the master at completing goals!

 

Following are the tips we’ll discuss more fully on the podcast:

Tips to Help You Achieve Your Goals
  1. Develop a routine.
  2. Make it easy.
  3. Make a plan for dealing with obstacles.
  4. Find ways to make it fun
  5. Keep your why in front of you.
  6. Let go of perfectionism.
  7. Be a good coach to yourself.
  8. Renew your mind when necessary.
  9. Gain support.
  10. Conquer procrastination.

Melanie Wilson is a Christian psychologist turned homeschool mother of six.  She is also the author of a fascinating book called A Year of Living Productively. For one year, Melanie made a commitment to try a different productivity strategy, app, or program each week. In the book she shares how it went that week and what she liked and didn’t like about each of the productivity strategies.

Resources We Talked About on the Podcast How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

 

The post How to Achieve Your Goals – 10 Tips appeared first on Barb Raveling.

To Give Advice or Not Give Advice? 6 Rules to Follow24 Nov 202100:28:29

To give advice or not to give advice? That is the question. In the past I used to answer that with, Of course I should give advice! Why wouldn’t I give advice?! Well, I have since learned a few reasons why I shouldn’t!

Why You Should Think Twice Before Giving Unsolicited Advice

For starters, too much advice can hurt relationships. On our end, we think we’re giving wise advice to help people be safe and happy. But on their end, they often feel like we’re trying to fix them. This makes them annoyed with us and hurts relationships.

Unsolicited advice can make the recipient feel unloved. Again, we’re trying to keep them happy and safe because we DO love them! They on the other hand feel like we’re focusing on something negative in them. That can make them think we’ll only love them if they’re perfect.

Unsolicited advice also hurts relationships when we give the same advice over and over. This makes people not want to be with us because they’re tired of getting advice!

Finally, unsolicited advice can hurt relationships with our adult children because it’s seen as a lack of respect. We think, I need to tell them this so they don’t make the same mistakes I made! They think, Mom (or Dad) doesn’t realize I’m an adult!

So how do we break free from giving too much advice when it’s something we just do without thinking?

Well, let me give you some advice about that…

How to Decide if You Should Give Advice or Not

In this blog post (and podcast episode), I want to share an acronym I’ve made that’s helping me know when to give or not give advice. I’ll warn you ahead of time, though. Usually I decide I shouldn’t give advice after asking the questions!

I call the acronym SPIKER. Think of a person standing at the volleyball net, jumping high to shove the ball down the other side of the net and take out the opponent. That’s how advice often feels to the advice-receiver. We think we’re giving a nice gentle lob over the fence to help them have a better life, but they think we’re pounding them with advice. This acronym will help you evaluate what you have to say so see if it’s worth giving.

With the holidays coming up, it seemed like the perfect time to share this acronym as many of us will be surrounded by people we want to give advice to!

SPIKER Acronym: 6 Questions to Ask Before Giving Advice

Ask these questions before you give advice. If you have adult kids coming home for the holidays, think about what kind of advice you may want to give them while they’re here. (Yes, I know it’s already running through your mind!) Ask yourself these questions before they get home. Or better yet, each morning before they wake up!

For Covid/Political Discussion: You can also ask these questions to determine if it’s worth getting involved in a political or Covid discussion – or if it’s worth saying that comeback you’re dying to say when the topic comes up. You’ll just have to tweak the questions a bit since they’re designed with advice giving in mind. For example, with P for Profitable, you could ask, “What are the odds they’ll change their mind if I engage this topic with them?” or “Is this discussion worth the damage it could do to our relationship?”)

  • S – Sure – Are you sure you’re giving the right advice or is there a possibility you’re wrong or you’ll find out one day that this was bad advice?
  • P – Profitable – Will it be profitable? In other words, how likely are they to consider taking your advice? (This is especially helpful to think about for unsolicited advice.)
  • I – Important – Is it important? Or are you wasting your advice-giving-currency on things that aren’t that important?
  • K – Knowledge – Do they already know this?
  • E – Edifying – Is it edifying? Will this build them up? Or will it make them feel like you think there is something wrong with them that needs to be fixed?
  • R – Repeat – Have you said this before? How many times? (Most people don’t want to hear the same advice more than once or twice.)

If you’d like to hear some examples of this acronym in action, check out the podcast episode. (Scroll down for links to listen to the podcast or click the player at the top of this post.)

How to Give Advice: 6 Rules

If you decide to still give advice after going through the questions, follow these six guidelines to help it be a positive experience.

  1. Be respectful. You will have a far better chance of them listening if you’re respectful. Before you give advice, try thinking of five things this person is doing well or five things you like and respect about this person. This will help you be respectful.
  2. Consider asking them for permission first. Since so many people don’t like unsolicited advice, it may be helpful to ask before you give advice. Just remember they may say no, and be respectful if they do. Which means no advice! (And no little comments about how they need advice!)
  3. Choose the right time and place. Try to choose a time outside the heat of the moment, but also not when they’re relaxing and having fun. It may even be helpful to tell them you have something to talk about and ask them what a good time would be (if they have time).
  4. Build people up with your words. In Colossians 4:29, Paul tells us to use words that edify others. Paul also tells us not to let any corrupt talk come out of our mouths, and to give grace to those who hear. That’s good advice!
  5. Try to preface your advice with a compliment. This may or may not work. After all, you don’t want them to think you’re buttering them up so they’ll take your advice! But if it’s possible, try to offer encouragement and positive feedback about other areas of their lives. And try not to only give advice or point out faults. This goes against rule #4 as we’re tearing people down, not building them up.
  6. Stop before you give too much advice. So often our initial advice is short and sweet. But when we don’t get the response we want, we may go into convince-them mode. This is often seen as obnoxious-mode by our advice receivers! So give yourself a little lecture and avoid the long-winded advice!

6 Lies That Make Us Give Unwanted Advice

Often we want to stop giving advice, but we believe lies that drive us to do it. Here are a few of these lies and some truth that will help us change our way.

  1. If we give them advice, we can keep them from making the mistakes we made. Unfortunately, this isn’t true. We ALL make mistakes–and even if we lived around the most advice-giving person on the planet, we’d still make mistakes. Why? Because we often think other people’s advice is bad (even though it’s good). And because we don’t always have enough self-control to take good advice even if we want to. Not to mention the fact, that the advice-giver may be wrong!
  2. If they (do this thing we think they shouldn’t do), they’ll ruin their lives and be unhappy forever. Ruined lives and unhappy-forever is not dependent on one incident in life. Also, joy comes through walking with the Spirit (Galatians 5:16-17, 22-24), not having a perfect life. So we can be joyful no matter what life throws our way as long as we walk with God.
  3. If they (do this thing we think they shouldn’t do), they’ll die. Again, this isn’t necessarily true unless they’re planning to jump off a high cliff. The Bible tells us our days are numbered, and they will only die if God allows them to die (Psalm 139:16).
  4. It’s possible for my friends and loved ones to have trouble-free lives. We don’t think this one outright, but I think we might believe it at the unconscious level.  Unfortunately, we will all have troubles and trials!
  5. I need to give them advice so they can have a trouble-free life. See truth for #4. Plus, if I keep giving them unsolicited advice, I will be one of the troubles in their life! And do I really want to be that?
  6. I need to give them advice so they can continue to follow God their whole lives. Again, I have no control over this. In a world with so much skepticism, temptation, and condemnation of Christians, it’s a wonder any kids grow up to follow God their whole lives. We have lots of influence when our kids are young, not so much when our kids become adults sadly. The best thing we can do is pray for our adult children.  We can also work on our own sins and character flaws so we won’t make them stumble with our behavior.
Does that mean we should never give advice?

No definitely not. Sometimes it’s worth giving advice. Just think it through first if you’re a person who tends to give too much of it. The Bible gives us all kinds of encouragement to ask advice from wise counselors, and advice can be life-changing! My guess is that if you’re a person who gives too much advice, you’re also a person who loves people and wants the best for them. That’s a good thing! Just be careful how you give it. Let your words edify and build up people. And love them well!

Resources We Talked About on the Podcast How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

The post To Give Advice or Not Give Advice? 6 Rules to Follow appeared first on Barb Raveling.

How to Plan a Productive Day with Polly Payne27 Oct 202100:30:05

Do you struggle with productivity? Do you find that you often have trouble getting through your to-do list? At the end of each day, do you feel discouraged that you didn’t achieve more? If so, you’ll want to listen to today’s episode of the Christian Habits Podcast, where I interview Polly Payne, the CEO of Horacio Printing and the creator of the Dream Planner. Polly shares many helpful tips so that we can productively focus our energy on what matters most each day and finally conquer that to-do list!

Things We Discussed on the Podcast
  • How to win the day rather than letting the day defeat you
  • How to simplify your focus by using the “Top 3” strategy
  • The importance of planning your “Top 3” the night before
  • Two phone tips to help get things done
  • The Five Block System
  • A helpful tip to transition from your morning routine to work block
  • How remembering your “why” is so helpful to your productivity
  • The “Planning Fallacy”
  • Start small and give yourself the win
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast Polly Payne is a southern girl from Alabama who moved to NYC to pursue her dreams. She left her successful career in advertising to run Horacio Printing and share her Dream Planner with the world. She has sold over 35,000 Dream Planners around the world and raised over $65,000 to fight human trafficking through her partnership with A21. Last year, she hosted the Dreamers Summit which featured Christine Caine, Alli Worthington and DawnChere Wilkerson as guest speakers! Polly now lives in Chattanooga, TN with her husband and daughter and has a little baby boy on the way coming New Year’s Day!  How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

The post How to Plan a Productive Day with Polly Payne appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Darryl Dash: 8 Habits for Christian Growth29 Sep 202100:26:55

Most all of us have the desire to grow in God, but we often don’t know how to begin. My guest on the Christian Habits Podcast today, Darryl Dash, has written a great new book on this topic called 8 Habits for Growth: A Simple Guide to Becoming More Like Christ. Darryl discusses the habits in his book and gives helpful advice for the Christian desiring to go deeper in their faith walk.

Things We Discussed on the Episode
  • What Christian growth is
  • Strategies for growth both for the individual and for the church
  • Sharing life with someone as an effective means of discipleship
  • How caring for your physical body is actually an important part of Christian growth
  • Tips for beginning habits
  • God’s deep compassion for us when we are trying to grow and we fail
  • How consistency is more important than perfection
About Darryl Dash

DARRYL DASH is pastor of Liberty Grace Church in Toronto. He is
also cofounder of Gospel for Life, and director of Advance Church
Planting Institute. He has a Doctor of Ministry degree from
Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, and has over 25 years of
ministry experience. Darryl is married to Charlene, and has two adult
children, Christy and Josiah. You can find Darryl online at
DashHouse.com.

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”

The post Darryl Dash: 8 Habits for Christian Growth appeared first on Barb Raveling.

How to Stop Being Angry – 12 Tips01 Sep 202100:29:01

Do you ever get irritated with friends who believe differently than you do about politics or Covid? Do you get annoyed with the faults of a spouse or family member? Do you get frustrated with people who drive at a different speed than you drive? If so, today’s post and podcast will help. We’ll be discussing how to stop being angry. Before we do that, though, let’s look at what anger is.

What is anger?

When I first started helping people let go of anger, I discovered people have different definitions for anger. Many picture anger as the person who is yelling and swearing, but anger is more than that. It also includes resentment, irritation, annoyance, and frustration. Often we stuff feelings of anger because we feel bad about it. But if you stuff those emotions for too long, you may not even know you’re angry.

How do you know you’re angry?

If you’re used to stuffing or denying your anger, it will be hard to spot it in the beginning. Look for times when you feel out of sorts. Then think back to the last few hours. Did something just happen to upset you? Did you read something on the news? A post on social media? Did someone say something hurtful?

Ask yourself, “What emotion am I feeling?” This will help you begin to recognize your emotions. Anger, resentment, irritation, frustration, and bitterness all fall into the category of anger. Judgement and pride are accompanying emotions.

What causes anger?

Have you ever been in a situation where you were angry and your friend wasn’t? Even though you were both witnessing the same thing happening? We all get angry at different things because of our different life experiences, beliefs, and personalities. If we know why we’re angry, it will be easier to stop being angry. Begin by asking yourself, “Why am I angry?” Here are a few reasons we get angry, irritated, annoyed, or resentful:

  • We think we’re right–and get mad at all those wrong people out there.
  • We think others need to make us happy–and get mad when they don’t.
  • We think life should be easy–and get frustrated when it’s not.
  • We think we shouldn’t have to suffer–and get mad when people expect us to do things that are hard.
  • We compare our strengths to other’s faults–and get mad when they’re not more like us.
  • We care too much about what others think–and get mad when they don’t give us enough praise or affirmation.
  • People we love do scary things–and our fear comes out as anger.
  • People we love say and do things to hurt us–and our pain comes out as anger.
  • Politicians do things we think will harm people or destroy our way of life–and our fear comes out as anger toward both the politicians and all the people who follow them.
Is anger bad?

Any time I teach on anger in a Bible study, I’ll always have at least one person in the room bring up righteous anger. The idea is that there are good forms of anger and bad forms of anger. The problem is that even if there are good forms of anger, we engage in the bad form 95% of the time. So rather than defend ourselves for the 5%, we’re better off if we work on the 95% of unrighteous anger!

It’s true that God is angry in the Bible at times and since we know God never sins, we know it’s possible to be angry and not sin. But Romans 3:10 tells us that “none is righteous, no not one.” So my question is, can an unrighteous person have righteous anger? That question is up for debate and people will answer it in different ways.

One of the ways people answer it is to point out how you need righteous anger to right all the wrongs in the world–to help save the innocent from their abusers, for example. My question is, could you help the innocent with a motive of love rather than an emotion of anger? When Jesus died on the cross, I don’t think he was angry.

Jesus appears to be angry in the temple when he is overturning tables and it’s possible he was–but if you look at those passages, it doesn’t actually say he was. Although if he was, He would be another example of God–who is 100% righteous–being angry.

I think you could make a biblical case for both points of view, so I usually try to avoid this part of the anger topic. But since it’s a topic that always comes up, I thought I should at least mention it.

What does the Bible say about anger?

If you look up anger in the Bible, you’ll find some examples of God being angry and all kinds of verses telling us not to be angry. The only passage that seems like it’s saying we can be angry is Ephesians 4:26-27: “Be angry and yet do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity.”

Here’s the interesting thing, though. In the Greek, the verb for “be angry” can either be translated “be angry” or “you are being angry.” The reason for this is that the imperative 2nd person plural form (be angry) is the same as the present active indicative 2nd person plural form (you are continually being angry) in the Greek. (See pages 12 and 111 in Essentials of New Testament Greek by Ray Summers, Broadman Press, 1950.)

But even if we use the imperative form, the verse still tells us to let go of our anger before we go to sleep. Why? Because otherwise we’ll give the devil an opportunity. I don’t know how many times I’ve given the devil an opportunity by holding onto my anger for not just a day but weeks and months and even years. When we do that, we hurt ourselves and others.

How does anger hurt us and others?

Here are just a few of the ways our anger, irritation, annoyance, and resentment hurt ourselves and others:

  • Anger destroys relationships. When we hold onto our anger, we don’t want to be with the person we’re angry with. We’re not thinking of any of their positive traits, just their faults. This makes us dislike and even hate them and there goes the relationship. Just think of what would happen if every married person followed Paul’s advice in Ephesians 4:26-27. Divorce lawyers would go bankrupt!
  • Anger hurts our relationship with God. Have you ever been so annoyed with a person that you can’t let go of it? I have. And during the seasons of my life when that happened, I noticed I didn’t feel as close to God. James 4:6 says that God is opposed to the proud. Anger often reflects a proud heart and it distances us from God.
  • Anger keeps others from recognizing their sin and repenting. Just think of the last time someone was angry with you. Did it make you think, Oh, I need to change my ways. I just realized I’m sinning! Or did it make you think, This person is such a jerk for being angry with me! Romans 2:4 tells us that it’s God’s kindness that leads to repentance. This is true for us as well. People will be more likely to recognize their sin and feel bad for it if we’re kind to them.
  • Anger keeps us from recognizing our sin and repenting. When we’re angry, we’re so focused on the sins or faults of others, that we don’t notice our own sin. We feel like we have a right to our anger and forget all the verses in the Bible talking about giving grace and forgiving others. In truth, our own sins of pride, judgment, and sustained resentment are just as bad or worse than the sins of the people we’re angry with.
  • Anger robs our joy. Have you ever been angry and joyful at the same time? Probably not! Anger robs our joy. It keeps us from experiencing the abundant life. God wants us to love others well, but He also wants us to live joyful lives.  The sooner we get rid of our anger, the better!
  • Anger robs the joy of others. No one likes to listen to an angry person yell. Not the people who are being yelled at and not the innocent bystanders. Even if we’re angry and not yelling, people can sense our resentment and it robs their joy. It’s hard to hide anger–much better to work at getting rid of it!
How do you control angry outbursts?

So how do you stop being angry? Much of the literature on how to stop being angry focuses on how to control our anger. With this approach, we’re still angry. We’re just learning how to control it.

I agree that we need to learn to control our anger. We don’t want to have outbursts because they hurt people and scare people. But what if we could let go of the angry feelings altogether? If we could do that, we wouldn’t have to control our anger because it wouldn’t be there to control. This is actually possible, and I’ve experienced it myself.

My brother once said, “Barb, you say the things everyone else is thinking but are afraid to say.” This is true. That’s why it was so much more helpful for me to learn how to get rid of the angry thoughts, than just control the anger. Because if it was in my head, I was going to say it.

God did teach me how to let go of anger, and although I still get annoyed at times, it’s no longer a big issue in my life. God can do the same for you. Following are 12 tips to help you stop being angry.

How to Stop Being Angry – 12 Tips

When I first started practicing these tips, I thought I was inviting myself to life of misery. A life of everyone else getting what they wanted but not me. I couldn’t have been more wrong. The more I learned to let go of my idea of what had to happen for me to be happy, the happier I became. Here are the steps I took–and you can take–to stop being angry.

  1. Don’t beat yourself up about it. I was lucky because I was never a yeller. Because of that, I didn’t feel guilty about my anger when I first started working on it. I just calmly renewed my mind every time I got angry. But if you’re a yeller, you may spend a lot of time beating yourself up. Try not to do that. The truth is that everyone has faults, and anger is just one of many. Is it important to work on? Yes! But work on it from the safety of your Father’s arms, knowing that He loves you as is.
  2. Renew your mind every time you’re angry. The first thing I learned when I started working on anger was that I believed some lies that were making me angry. The more I got rid of the lies, the less I got angry. Renewing is a skill that takes time and effort to learn. Check out the renewing of the mind tools tab at the top of this blog for more help with renewing. You can also use the anger questions from I Deserve a Donut (and Other Lies That Make You Eat) or the Renewing of the Mind Project to renew. I’ll give you an example of renewing with those questions at the end of today’s podcast episode. Another way to renew is with truth journaling. Here’s an example of truth journaling for anger: Renewing when angry at your spouse. 
  3. Recognize the consequences of your anger. When we’re angry, we’re so wrapped up in how that person is hurting us or others that we don’t see how our anger is hurting us and others. Option charts can help you see the consequences of your anger. This podcast episode shows the option chart in action: Option Charts: Tool for a Happy Christian Marriage. Option charts take a bit of time to learn, but they’re incredibly helpful in letting go of anger. Why? Because they help us see in black and white how anger is affecting our  walk with God, relationships, enjoyment of life, and even our chances of being able to change the person who is making us angry. Seeing the consequences of anger makes us want to let go of it.
  4. Accept what you need to accept. If you live in a rich western country, you probably grew up with the idea that you can change anything you want to change. But this is a lie. For example, how successful were you in changing your governor’s position on Covid? How successful have you been with changing your spouse’s or friend’s bad habits? Often the only thing we can change is our attitude–because like it or not, God hasn’t give us the power to change other people. This post will help with this step: Accepting the Unacceptable. Option charts (tip 3) also help with accepting the unacceptable.
  5. Don’t assume you’re right and everyone else is wrong. Think of it this way: have scientists ever believed one thing at one stage of history and then changed their minds years later? Or on a personal level, have you ever believed one thing at one stage of your life and another thing at another stage of our life? God is the only person alive who is right 100% of the time. That means we could be wrong. The more we’re willing to recognize we might be wrong, the easier it will be to give others the benefit of the doubt and not be angry with them.
  6. Don’t people please. When we people please, we feel like we have to act a certain way for people to like us. Because of that we often resent the people we’re trying to please. We resent them for two reasons. First, we’re mad we have to act a certain way for them to like us. (Even though we’re often wrong about that. Often, they really will like us no matter what.) And second, we resent them because we may be doing things we don’t want to do to make them happy. There’s a big difference between people pleasing and doing things out of a sacrificial love for others. Either way we’re doing things we don’t want to do. But with sacrificial love, we feel like we have a choice. We’re doing it as a conscious decision to love others well. With people pleasing, we feel like we have to do it–and that makes us annoyed.
  7. Don’t compare your strengths to other people’s faults. Often we get angry and think, Why can’t this person be more like us? Well, here’s the truth. They’re not like us! They have different weaknesses and different strengths. When we compare our strengths to their weaknesses, we become angry with them. When we compare our weaknesses with their strengths, we become angry with us. Much better to stop comparing altogether!
  8. Be humble. (AKA recognize your own faults.) I found it was far easier to accept my husband’s faults when I took a good hard look at my own faults. I started out thinking he was the bad guy. But after renewing and doing the option charts, I realized that I was also a bad guy! In fact, I may even have been the worst guy. This works with relationships, but it also works with politics. Instead of looking at the faults of the other political party, look at the faults of your own party. Neither party is perfect. I’ve also found it helpful to think of ten good things about the president in charge when it wasn’t the president I voted for.
  9. Let go of unrealistic expectations. One of my friends once said, “If you keep expecting a person to act one way when he’s always show himself to act another way, you’re inviting yourself to be a victim all over again.” One way to let go of anger quickly is to just say, “Of course he just did (or said) that. He always does (or says) things like that.” Now granted, it’s not true that he always does this. But the quicker we can recognize, that hey, he does things like this, the more we can just it go. Everyone has faults. We don’t want to excuse things like actual abuse, but we also don’t want to jump on every single fault. The more we practice the next tip, the happier we’ll be.
  10. Give grace. Some people are natural grace-givers. I wasn’t. The first time I learned how to give grace (back in those angry wife years), I couldn’t believe how freeing it was. I went from thinking everyone had to act a certain way for me to be happy to being able to enjoy people in their as-is condition. It was life-changing. Just this incredible feeling of freedom and joy. God asks us to give grace, not just for others, but also for ourselves.
  11. Rely on God to get your emotional, relational, and safety needs met. I had a hard time deciding if this step should be “Learn to be content in all situations,” “Don’t expect others to make you happy,” or “Rely on God to get your needs met.” But the truth is that relying on God to get our needs met is what allows us to be content in all situations. When we feel things have to go a certain way for us to be happy, we’ll be angry with anyone who keeps that from happening. But when we believe deep down that we only need God to be happy, we’ll stop being mad at all those people who are getting in the way of our happiness. The key is to develop such a close walk with God that we actually experience Him meeting our needs. Here is a post and podcast on growing closer to God: 7 Ways to Get Closer to God.
  12. Work on changing whatever God wants you to change. Sometimes this will be your own heart–making a commitment to do some of the things I mentioned in this blog post. But other times it may be a plan to change the situation that’s annoying you. For example, you may decide to go into politics or start a community program or stop watching the news. You may decide to put up boundaries or end a dating relationship or go to a counselor. Or you may just start by getting a Bible study that will help with your problem or doing an Internet search to see how others deal with it. It’s good to work on problems. But it’s far better to work on problems from a heart that feels that even if you don’t come up with perfect solutions, life can still be good.

If you decide to make a project of letting go of anger, try to remember that life isn’t fair, nor is it easy. Letting go of anger is an act of laying down your life to love others well. That’s not easy. When I worked on it, I made a commitment to renew my mind every time I was annoyed with my husband. In two months, I saw a huge change in my attitude. It’s worth going through the effort to let go of this emotion!

Jesus came to give us abundant life. That abundant life is only dependent on us walking in the Spirit. It’s not dependent on us controlling all the people in our lives so they don’t hurt us. It’s also not dependent on all the leaders in the world making policies that will keep people safe and allow all of us to live the lives we want to live. The fruit of the Spirit includes love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and gentleness. All of those things are the opposite of anger. My prayer is that God will continue to help each of us grow in walking with Him so that each year, we see more of His fruit in our lives.

More Resources to Help You Stop Being Angry
  • On the podcast episode of this blog post, I go through the anger questions  from I Deserve a Donut (and Other Lies That Make You Eat) and the Renewing of the Mind Project. If you’d like to hear what those look like in action, go to the podcast links at the bottom of this post and you can hear that at the xx minute mark.
  • The Live in Peace tab at the top of this blog: If you look under this tab, you’ll see different emotions listed. Look under the anger heading and you’ll find different posts on anger, resentment, and irritation. Also, read this post to find out how to make a project out of letting go of anger.
  • Renewing of the Mind Tools tab at the top of this blog: Click on the Renew Your Mind tab first, then the Renewing of the Mind Tools tab. This tab includes all kinds of resources to help you renew your mind.
  • Freedom from Emotional Eating: Although I don’t have a Bible study on letting go of anger, I do have a whole chapter (5 lessons) on how to let go of anger in Freedom from Emotional Eating. The first chapter of this book is geared to letting go of emotional eating, but the rest of the book will be helpful for anyone as it deals with the negative emotions we all experience.
  • How to Stop Being Annoyed podcast episode
  • The podcast that goes with this blog post – the podcast is a bit different than the blog post so it may be helpful to listen to that as well. You can find the links below to listen to it – or just listen with the play button at the top of this post.
How to Listen to the Podcast 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

 

The post How to Stop Being Angry – 12 Tips appeared first on Barb Raveling.

How To Renew Your Mind19 May 202100:40:29

If someone told you to have a quiet time, you’d know what to do: read your Bible and pray. But what if they told you to renew your mind? Would you know how to renew your mind? Maybe not. The renewing of the mind doesn’t have a clear protocol like a quiet time has. Maybe that’s because it’s so messy.

How is the renewing of the mind different than a quiet time?

With a quiet time, you know you’ve done it when you’ve “read your Bible and prayed.” With the renewing of the mind, you know you’ve done it when you’re seeing life–and more specifically, your current situation–from a biblical perspective.

It might take a simple prayer to get to that point, a long truth journaling session,  a Bible passage, a chart, some Scripture meditation, a five minute run-through of some questions, or any number of things.

In order for it to be a true renewing of the mind experience, our thinking needs to be transformed. And in order for our thinking to be transformed, our minds need to be actively engaged.

Listening to a sermon while we clean the kitchen and talk to the kids isn’t going to cut it. Neither is having a quiet time just so we can check it off our list for the day.

What does it mean to renew your mind?

So what is the renewing of the mind? How do you do it? (Note: I give many practical examples of how to do it on the podcast version of this blog post. You can also find examples in the links at the bottom of this post.)

Paul talks about the renewing of the mind in Romans 12:2 where he says:

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Paul goes into more detail in Ephesians 4:22-24:

“That, in reference to your former way of life, you are to rid yourselves of the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you are to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.”

Paul tells us that the renewing of the mind involves a taking off and a putting on. We do this in several different areas:

  • Take off the old self and put on the new self.
  • Let go of our cultural perspective and put on a biblical perspective.
  • Take off lies and replace them with truth.
  • Let go of what we learned growing up and put on what we learned in the Bible.

So we’re not just reading the Bible–we’re taking everything we’ve learned in the Bible, talking it all over with God, and actively trying to look at life through His eyes.

You can’t do that without a working knowledge of the Word. You also need a willingness–and a desire–to change. And you need time with God as He is the One who renews our minds.

What does God do through the renewing of the mind?

In a sense, the Holy Spirit is acting as our counselor, peeling away the lies so we can see what life is really like and how we should respond to it.

When I renew my mind, I usually start out frazzled and unhappy, thinking certain things have to happen in order for me to be happy. I usually end up peaceful and content, willing to live any sort of life for God–not always, but more often than not.

God has used this discipline in my own life and the lives of countless others to help them with the following:

  • Breaking free from bad habits
  • Learning how to work even when you don’t feel like it
  • Losing weight and keeping it off
  • Letting go of negative emotions such as worry, insecurity, and anger/irritations
  • Gaining victory over procrastination
  • Starting new habits such as having a quiet time
  • Restoring and revitalizing relationships
  • Gaining freedom from recurring sins
  • Growing closer to God

If we want to see transformation in some area of our lives, it’s important to take the time to renew our minds.

What’s the difference between renewing in general and renewing to break a habit, lose weight, break free from a negative emotion, etc.?

Any time you read the Bible, you’ll have the potential for a renewed mind because God changes us through His Word. How we’ll change will depend on what we’re reading about and how engaged our mind is as we’re reading.

Our minds can also be renewed when we listen to a sermon or read a Christian book. If our mind is thinking biblically by the end of the experience, it has been renewed.

However, when we’re renewing for a specific goal, it’s helpful to do some specific renewing. Following are some suggestions.

How do you renew your mind for a specific goal?
  1. Focus on one area of life to change. Choose an area that is causing you the most stress or an area you believe God wants you to change. This worksheet can help you choose an area to work on.
  2. Start with what’s easy.  The Renewing of the Mind Project,  I Deserve a Donut (And Other Lies That Make You Eat), and my free I Deserve a Donut app are filled with questions you can use to renew your mind. There are questions to break habits, start habits, complete goals, help you gain control with food, and let go of negative emotions. Choose a set of questions based on what you’re working on, then use those questions for a conversation with God. I sometimes imagine God asking me the questions. The questions are designed to help you discover the lies you’re believing and see life from a biblical perspective. I designed them by testing questions to see what would convict me without offending or annoying me.
  3. Advance to truth journaling. Truth journaling is a little harder to learn but it’s a life-changing practice. Other than Bible study, I can’t think of a discipline in my life that has changed me more. Truth journaling brought me close to God and helped me live a more joyful, peaceful, and self-controlled life. You can find resources to help with truth journaling at the bottom of this post.
  4. Lecture yourself with truth. If you’re a person who has a hard time sitting still, try lecturing yourself with truth as you go about your day. For example, if you’re working on a weight loss project and happen to see a Dairy Queen while you’re driving, don’t say, “Oh that would be so good! So creamy! So delicious! I should stop there!” Instead say, “Wow, if I break my boundaries and have a big unhealthy treat, I’ll be so regretful. This sort of behavior makes me unhealthy, depressed, it could lead to diseases like cancer, and possibly lead to a binge tonight. I’ll feel hopeless in the morning and probably condemn myself. Is it really worth it? No!!!”
https://barbraveling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/3.jpg What are some general renewing tips?
  1. Commit to renewing once a day about anything that comes up in the day. Here are a few examples: If you don’t feel like working on your to-do list, you might answer the Dread or Procrastination questions in the Renewing of the Mind Project. If you’re worried, go through the Worry questions in the free I Deserve a Donut app. If everyone’s out of the house and you feel like doing your bad habit, you could do the Sneakiness questions in the Renewing of the Mind Project. All of these questions will lead to conversations with God about your real-life problems and a chance to see them from His perspective which will help you change.
  2. Engage your mind. It’s easy to read the Bible while your mind wanders. But the more you engage your mind, the quicker your thinking will change. That’s why I’ll often diagram Bible verses in my journal–because it keeps my mind engaged!
  3. Do it in writing!! The more senses you engage, the deeper the truth will go. People tell me they usually learn much more truth when they’re writing and I have experienced that as well.
  4. Do easy things as well. If you can’t make yourself renew in writing, just ask yourself, “What does this look like from a cultural perspective?” “What does this look like from a biblical perspective?” Or you could ask, “How does God want me to respond in this situation?” “How does Satan want me to respond?” (I have some examples of this in the podcast.)
  5. Try a variety of ways to renew your mind. You’ll find lots of ways to renew your mind in the renewing of the mind tools tab at the top of this blog, including a recent podcast and blog post on scripture meditation.
Why is it important to renew regularly?

If you’re trying to change a habit, you may need to renew several times a day as the truth only changes desires for a few hours in the beginning. Renewing is vital for transformation in the area of our habits, but it’s also helpful for other reasons. Here are a few of them:

  • Thoughts swirl in our heads all day and renewing can stop the swirling.
  • We’re constantly telling ourselves lies and renewing gets rid of the lies.
  • The Bible tells us to rejoice always. Renewing will help us rejoice.
  • We’re under spiritual attack and renewing is a way to attack.
  • Renewing helps you live in peace. I didn’t think that was possible in the old days, but I’ve found that it IS possible! And delightful.

I hope that you’ll give renewing a try. It’s a life-changing habit, but it takes some stamina in the beginning to learn how to do it in a way that will be effective. My prayer is that God will bless you through this habit!

Blog Posts about Truth Journaling Books to Help You Renew Your Mind Other Renewing Resources Other Resources We Mentioned on the Podcast How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Play: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”

The post How To Renew Your Mind appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Finding Hope When Life is Hard with Ginny Owens21 Apr 202100:38:56

In this episode of the Christian Habits Podcast, I talk with Ginny Owens, an award-winning singer, songwriter, author and speaker. Ginny candidly shares biblical wisdom for finding hope when life is hard which can also be found in her new book: Singing in the Dark, set to release on May 1st, 2021.

Some Things Ginny and I Discussed on the Podcast
  • The “habit” of praising through the story of Leah in the Bible
  • Practicing praise
  • Singing God’s hope
  • Replacing the negative “songs” in our heads with songs of praise
  • Learning the secret of contentment, according to Philippians 4:12
  • How Ginny develops her “daily song,” and meditates on the word of God
  • Misconceptions about prayer
  • Learning to pray prayers that are “not polite”
Resources Discussed on the Podcast About Ginny Owens

Ginny Owens has had an award-winning career that encompasses two decades as a singer/songwriter, recording artist, author and speaker. During that time, Owens has released 10 albums, five EPs and two Christmas projects garnering critical success, chart-topping radio singles, and numerous film and television placements. She continues to inspire others with the truth of the gospel through personal stories, songs and Bible teaching. In 2014, Ginny released her first book, Transcending Mysteries: Who is God And What Does He Want From Us, co-authored with Andrew Greer and published by Thomas Nelson/HarperCollins. Her most recent set of EP’s, entitled Expressions I and Ii (November, 2020; February, 2021) have amassed millions of streams across multiple platforms. Ginny currently resides in New York City and is in her final year of a Master of Biblical Studies at seminary. Connect with Ginny on Twitter at @GinnyOwens, on Instagram at @GinnyOwensOfficial, and online at ginnyowens.com or facebook.com/GinnyOwensMusic.

How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Play: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”

The post Finding Hope When Life is Hard with Ginny Owens appeared first on Barb Raveling.

How to Meditate on Scripture24 Mar 202100:22:09

Often before a trip, I’ll wake up in the middle of the night with my mind buzzing. I remember all I have to do and have a hard time getting back to sleep. That happened last night, so I got up and had my quiet time. I was having a hard time focusing so I decided to do some Scripture meditation. It wasn’t long before God’s peace washed over me and I felt better about the day. On today’s podcast and blog post, I’d like to talk about how to meditate on Scripture.

What is Scripture Meditation?

According to Google, the definition of meditate is to think deeply or focus one’s mind for a period of time. So when we meditate on Scripture, we’re not just reading through it. We’re taking time to really think deeply about it. And the deeper we think, the more it seeps into our bones so God can use it to change us.

This morning is a good example. I began my quiet time stressed with all I had to do today. But by the end, I was completely relaxed and feeling peaceful about my day. That wouldn’t have happened with a quick read of a short devotional or a passage of Scripture.

I needed to deeply interact with God and the Bible in order for it to change me. And thankfully God gave me the perfect Bible passage this morning in my regular reading to give me the help I needed today.

What’s the Difference between Meditating on Scripture and Bible Study?

Bible study is all about getting to know and understand God’s Word. That’s a good thing. But Scripture meditation carries it a step further as it’s about soaking in God’s Word and applying it to our lives, allowing it to shape us and change us.

BillyGraham.org puts it this way: “When we meditate on the Word of God, we seek to make personal application of the Scriptures to our own lives and circumstances. This results in more than the intake of information; it transforms by leading to the formation of the individual into Christlikeness.”

Below this paragraph, you’ll see an example of a Scripture meditation I did on Luke 8:4-15. You can see what I wrote in my journal, but I also spent time thinking about what I was seeing in the Word and talking to God about it. The little box on the left about halfway down the page was where I applied the passage to my own life, which led to some good prayer time with God and insights I could apply to my life.

https://barbraveling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/IMG_9375-1-scaled.jpg

Scripture Meditation on Luke 8:4-15

How Do You Meditate on Scripture?

There is no written procedure in the Bible for meditating on Scripture, and I’m guessing you already have your own way of doing it. But I thought I would include a few tips here in case you haven’t tried it before.

  1. Find a quiet comfortable place. You can meditate on Scripture anywhere, but it helps to have someplace you can completely focus on the Bible passage.
  2. Choose a small portion of Scripture. This could be anywhere from one verse to three or four verses to a very short chapter of the Bible. If I’m meditating on Scripture for my quiet time, I’ll choose a longer passage than if I’m meditating on Scripture to break a habit.
  3. Consider diagramming the Bible verse. I often do this in my journal. I’ll look at the verse and start drawing it out in my journal. This helps me make sense of it and see the connections between the different parts of the verse. You can see an example of this in my previous journal image and also later in this post.
  4. Think about the imagery of the verse. If the verse describes God or someone else doing something, imagine what that would have looked like. For example, Zephaniah 3:17 talks about God rejoicing over us with singing. Close your eyes and picture Him doing that with you. If the verse talks about things in nature, picture what that would look like.
  5. Ask what the verse means on a practical level. For example, Proverbs 23:17-18 tells us not to envy. Ask yourself, what does envy mean? What would that look like in my own life? Do I envy? Is there anything I need to change? How could I go about that? Think about how you could stop being envious, then spend some time in confession and asking God to help you change.  Meditating on Scripture is all about getting to know what that Bible verse means and then soaking it in and letting it change you. These kinds of practical questions can help with that.
  6. Ask God to give you insight. The Holy Spirit is our counselor and He can help us understand Scripture. But occasionally, we’re stumped and we have a hard time knowing what a verse means. When that happens, try the next step.
  7. Check out a good commentary. BlueLetterBible.org has lots of good commentaries you can use to gain insight on a Bible passage. I would try to learn as much as you can without a commentary first, but then use a commentary for added insight if you’re having a hard time understanding the passage.

Scripture Meditation: An Example Based on Psalm 95:1-7a

When you’re learning a new skill – or interested in seeing how others do things – it can be helpful to look at some concrete examples. We looked at an example of Scripture meditation earlier from my journal. Below you’ll find another example of how I meditated on Psalm 95 this morning.

Psalm 95:1-2: 1Come, let’s sing for joy to the Lord, Let’s shout joyfully to the rock of our salvation.2 Let’s come before His presence with a song of thanksgiving, let’s shout joyfully to Him in songs with instruments.

The first thing I noticed was that David asks us to do four things. So I wrote the word ME on the left hand side of my journal page and circled it.  Then I drew four lines going out to the right in sunshine fashion. At the end of each line, I wrote one of the things we’re supposed to do:

  1. Sing for joy to the Lord.
  2. Shout joyfully to the rock of our salvation.
  3. Come into His presence with a song of thanksgiving.
  4. Shout joyfully to Him in songs.

I noticed there was a lot of joy going on–something I needed at the moment! I looked at the next verse and realized that it told us why we can be joyful:

3 For the Lord is a great God and a great King above all gods.

The first thing I noticed about this verse is that we can be joyful because the Lord is a great God. NOT because:

  • life is going great
  • all our loved ones are doing well
  • we’re all caught up on our to-do list

So even though my life felt overwhelming at 3:00 am (and not super great), I could still rejoice because the Lord is a great God no matter what is going on in my life!!

The next things I noticed about that verse is that He is a great God and a great King above all gods. I spent a little time thinking about what kings were like and didn’t get a lot out of that.

Then I noticed it said all gods. I thought to myself, What other gods is David talking about? There’s only one God. Then I realized, Oh, he’s talking about idols.

That’s when I realized why I was stressed. I was making other things–getting things done before my trip for example (including writing and taping this podcast)–more important than God wanted to make them. So I spent a little time talking to God about that and repenting and then I went back to the Scripture.

4 In whose hand are the depths of the earth, the peaks of the mountains are also His. 5 The sea is His, for it was He who made it, and His hands formed the dry land.

This passage led me into meditating on God’s creation. I thought about the depths of the earth (backpacking with my family to the bottom of the Grand Canyon), the mountains I’ve climbed, and visits to the beach.

I thought about how free I feel when I’m in the wilderness and the majesty of God’s creation.

It made me realize God created life to be simple–He put Adam and Eve in a garden, not a busy office. That doesn’t mean He wants us to stay in the garden. But it does remind me that overall life is pretty simple. It’s about God.

So even though God wants me to get things done today, He also wants me to remember that His yoke is easy. His burden is light. He doesn’t demand perfection. He doesn’t demand a finished to-do list. Nothing drastic will happen if I don’t write this blog post and tape the podcast.

This automatically started relieving my stress. I was starting to feel pretty peaceful by this point. I went back to the Scripture and I could fully engage with it as I worshipped God through those ancient words of David:

6 Come, let’s worship and bow down, Let’s kneel before the Lord our Maker. 7 For He is our God, and we are the people of His pasture and the sheep of His hand.

At that point I stopped. I could see that the Scripture switched gears, but I felt like I’d already received a wonderful lesson from God. I decided to save the rest of the passage for tomorrow. Before I finished, I went back up to the top and read the passage again.

I read it differently this time than I had the first time because I’d taken the time to meditate on it and apply it to my life. The first time I read it I was stressed and distracted. When I read it again, I was peaceful and free and rejoicing with David.

We’ll look at another example of how to meditate on Scripture in a minute. First, let’s look at some reasons to meditate.

Reasons to Meditate on Scripture

There are many reasons to meditate on Scripture. We just looked at one of them–it changes our attitude! Here are some other reasons to meditate on Scripture:

  1. It changes our perspective. The more the word sinks into us, the more we think biblically rather than culturally–and life always looks better when you think biblically.
  2. It helps us break free from sin. God uses Scripture to empower us to change things He wants us to change. There’s an old hymn called There Is Power in the Blood. There’s also power in the Word. Jesus used that power when He was tempted by Satan, and we can use that power when we face different temptations. God uses truth to set us free and His Word is truth.
  3. It gives us peace and joy in situations that don’t warrant it. Remember David? He’d often begin a Psalm super depressed but he was often joyful by the end of it. His spirit lifted because he started to see life from God’s perspective which led him to trust and hope in God.
  4. It helps us understand God’s Word better and also get to know God better. Reading Scripture is always good. But when we take the time to meditate on it, we’ll get to know it–and God–at a much deeper level. It’s like the difference between our relationship with the friendly grocery store clerk and a loved one. Even though they’re both great people, we know our loved one far better because we spend a lot more time with them.
  5. It helps us replace bad thoughts with good thoughts. It’s easy to go into a spiral of negative thoughts, especially if life isn’t going well. Reading our Bible as a casual experience doesn’t usually grab our minds enough to scatter the negative thoughts. But if we get our pen and paper out and spend some time meditating on a Scripture passage and looking at how it applies to our lives, we’ll be far more likely to end up with a clearer, more peaceful mind by the end of it.
  6. It helps us memorize Scripture. I’m terrible at memorizing Scripture, but I’ve found that it’s easier to memorize it after I meditate on a verse. For some reason, fully understanding a verse and seeing the connections makes it easier to memorize.
  7. It can help us be aware of God throughout the day. If we keep a Bible verse close to our thoughts throughout the day, it will help us remember that God is there and take time to visit with Him.

How to Use Scripture Meditation to Break a Habit – An Example

I’d like to include one more example before we finish: how to meditate on Scripture to break a habit. For this purpose, I’d look for a relevant Bible verse first rather than just using whatever I’m reading that morning in my quiet time.

You can easily find Bible verses for negative emotions, habits, and losing weight in the Renewing of the Mind Project or I Deserve a Donut (and Other Lies That Make You Eat). Let’s try meditating on 1 Corinthians 6:12:

All things are permitted for me, but not all things are of benefit. All things are permitted for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.

How would you diagram that verse? Do you see any connections right off the bat? If you want, take a minute to diagram it. You don’t need to diagram a sentence to meditate on Scripture, but it’s helpful if you have a pen and paper at hand.

Right away I noticed that one phrase was repeated twice: all things are permitted for me. I think to myself, Really? I don’t think I’m permitted to murder. So right off the the bat I start thinking, oh, Paul must be talking about things God hasn’t told us not to do–so neutral things.

I then think about my habit. Let’s say I’m working on trying to control how much time I spend on the Internet. I think, Well that’s pretty neutral as long as I’m looking at okay sites — so I would say it’s permitted for me. Then I look at the passage again and notice there are two other phrases. I would probably take the time to diagram the passage at this time. It would look something like this in my journal.

Scripture Diagram for 1 Corinthians 6:12 https://barbraveling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/IMG_9373-rotated.jpg

I diagrammed this the day after writing this blog post. My mind went a different direction than what I shared below. But it’s a good example of how different things can come out of Scripture meditation each day.

I’d look at that diagram and think, I wonder why Paul just chose two thing to talk about: 1) Not all things benefit and 2) I won’t be mastered by anything? I’d mull this over for a bit and realize it makes perfect sense. Too much time on the Internet is not beneficial to me and it can control me – it’s a hard habit to break.

At this point I could go in a number of different directions. I might make a little chart that says “Benefits of Controlling Time on the Internet” and “Benefits of Letting Myself Spend As Much Time As I Want on the Internet.” Or I might just think of how I feel when I spend too much time on the Internet and how it affects my life. Then I might go back to the passage again and read it all over.

That’s when I’d remember to look at the other part of the verse: I will not be mastered by anything. I’d ask myself, Does the Internet master me? Can I easily stop? If I can’t, I might visit with God about that. Maybe I’d come up with a set of boundaries for how much time I could spend on the Internet. I might make another commitment to renew my mind whenever I broke my boundaries.

Or I might ask, “Why does God want me to control of my habits–and not have them control me?” This could lead to all kinds of helpful insights.

In Summary

So basically Scripture meditation is taking the time to really interact with God and the Bible passage in a way that will impact you.

I did that this morning with Psalm 95 and I’ve been peaceful all day, doing what I needed to get done (including writing a much longer blog post than I needed to write!) and doing it peacefully and joyfully.

With breaking a habit you’ll have to meditate on Scripture or renew your mind throughout the day. But with some things, the truth can last all day.

And that’s a wonderful thing!

How to Listen to the Podcast:
  • Stitcher: Click here to subscribe or listen on Stitcher.
  • Apple Podcasts: Click here to subscribe or listen on Apple Podcasts. (If you haven’t subscribed to the podcast on Apple, this can sometimes take a few hours to update.)
  • Android: Click here to subscribe or listen on Android.
  • Spotify: Click here to subscribe or listen on Spotify.
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Taste for Truth Podcast.”

The post How to Meditate on Scripture appeared first on Barb Raveling.

Letting Go of Anxiety with God’s Help17 Apr 202400:27:28

Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night worrying about something? I know I do! With so much going on in our world and lives, it’s easy to give into to worry and anxiety. On today’s episode of the Christian Habits Podcast, we’ll talk about letting go of anxiety by walking through Lesson 15 from my new Philippians Bible Study together.

Each lesson in the Philippians Bible study is on a different topic, but since Philippians is all about finding joy in difficult circumstances it’s the perfect book of the Bible to go to for help.

On the podcast, we’ll talk about five different options we can take when anxiety hits, and which options are most helpful. If you’d like to download a copy of Lesson 15, click here:

Free Downloadable Bible Study Lesson: Lesson 15 Philippians Bible Study by Barb Raveling.

In the podcast episode, I mentioned that I would include an image of how I diagramed Philippians 4:8-9. Here’s an image of that diagram:

Online Philippians Bible Study

I’d also like to invite you to our online Philippians Bible study, which begins May 15. We’ll be covering the following lessons in that Bible study.

Wednesday mornings classes: 9 am PST, 10 am MST, 11 am CST, 12 pm EST

  • May 15 – Lesson 2: Loving When It’s Hard to Love
  • May 29 – Lesson 6: People Pleasing, Self-Pleasing, and God-Pleasing
  • June 12 – Lesson 15: Letting Go of Anxiety
Tuesday evenings classes: 5 pm PST, 6 pm MST, 7 pm CST, 8 pm EST
  • May 21 – Lesson 4: Letting Go of Idols
  • June 4  – Lesson 11: Finding Your Identity in Christ
  • June 18 – Lesson 16: Learning to Be Content

Click here for more info on the study and to sign up for it: Philippians Online Bible Study

Resources We Mentioned on the Podcast How to Listen to the Podcast:
  • To listen or subscribe on YouTube: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here 
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here 
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.” 

 

 

The post Letting Go of Anxiety with God’s Help appeared first on Barb Raveling.

8 Signs You’re People Pleasing and How to Stop People Pleasing24 Feb 202100:30:16

When I was in my forties, I didn’t even consider “no” an option. Instead, I did everything everyone asked me to do without even thinking about it. This led to stress, resentment, and sometimes doing things God didn’t want me to do. Not bad things, but things that weren’t right for that time in my life. In this post and podcast, I want to talk about people pleasing: how to know when you’re doing it and how to stop people pleasing.

Note: This is an old post that I have updated and added a podcast to.

People Pleasing vs. Self-Pleasing vs. Pleasing God

Before we look at how to stop people pleasing, let’s look at the difference between people pleasing, self-pleasing, and pleasing God.

Most of us lean towards one of two camps: “I’ll do what I want to do!” or “I’ll do what you want me to do.”

The second camp seems more loving but it’s not. Listen to what Paul says in Galatians 1:10: “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

With people pleasing, we’re putting others above God and it’s hard to be loving when you do that. So no matter what camp we’re in, our goal should be to move out of that camp and land in the I-want-to-please-God camp–not the I’ll-please-myself camp.

It can take years to overcome people pleasing. I should know because I’ve been working at it ever since I started writing this blog eight years ago! God has made great strides in this area of my life but I’m not all the way over it.

Here’s the truth though: The more we focus on pleasing God, the happier we’ll be–especially when we remember that God gives grace. We’re not pleasing him to get Him to love us or accept us. He already loves us. This is also a good reason to please others–out of love for them rather than to get them to love us.

10 Signs You’re a People Pleaser

If you’re a people pleaser, chances are good that you already know it. But it can still be helpful to look at a list of signs to be able to check yourself. When I googled people pleasing, I found this post. Since I can’t improve on it, I’ll share the link so you can check it out yourself: 10 Signs You’re a People-Pleaser.

I also thought it would be helpful to include my own list of 8 signs you’re people pleasing in an unhealthy way. I came up with this list during a coaching session. I was having a hard time making decisions (because I want to make everyone happy), and my coach asked me to make a list of signs that I was making decisions in an unhealthy way. Following is the list I came up with.

8 Signs You’re People Pleasing in an Unhealthy Way
  1. You’re committed at a level higher than the situation warrants. For example, let’s say you’re in a bad dating relationship and you’re doing everything you can to fix it because the other person really wants to stay with you. You’re committed at a level higher than the situation warrants. Leave that guy! Do it in a kind way but remember that his feelings are his responsibility, not yours.
  2. You’re feeling a responsibility God hasn’t given. When my kids were little, I played piano at a church that had both an organist and a piano player. The organist was happy playing each Sunday, but the piano players (there were three of us) were busy and didn’t enjoy it as much so we rotated. I should have quit – they didn’t need me since they had an organ player, but I kept playing because I felt like I would make the other two piano players have to play for more weekends. In reality, they could have quit as well or chosen to keep their own schedule. There wasn’t a need for me to live up to the expectations of the church that we always have both piano and organ.
  3. You hate (or are overly stressed by) what you’re doing. Often, God has given us the freedom to quit something, but we keep doing it because of our warped sense of responsibility. This happened to me during Thanksgiving when the kids were little. I always felt like I had to make all the different dishes even though I was the only cook at the time. This stressed me out and made me enjoy the holiday less. It would have been better to simplify the menu. Sometimes, God hasn’t give us the freedom to quit, though. In those situations it’s best to work on learning to like it! For a lot of those years when the kids were little, I was stressed with life in general–but God hadn’t given me the freedom to quit being a mom. :)
  4. You’re missing out on other things God wants you to do (or other wonderful opportunities) because you’re trying to please people who want you to do things for them, with them, or in a certain way. One example would be if your friends are always wanting you to do something every night and you do it out of responsibility even though you’re an introvert and need a little alone time to recharge and God would also like to see you recharge. Or you may be ignoring family responsibilities to do all the things the church or your Christian group wants you to do or even work if you have the possibility to say no.
  5. You’re putting other people’s desires ahead of your own (and totally ignoring your own) in a situation where God is not calling you to lay down your life out of love for the brethren. Sometimes God does call us to lay down our desires–you have to do that a lot when you have young kids, for example–but other times we do that when God isn’t calling us to do it. I was such a people pleaser in the old days that I didn’t even know what I liked or wanted. My husband and I are doing this new thing where we each say what we want (which helps us both figure out what we want since we’re both people pleasers), and then we negotiate from there. We’ve found that we actually come up with better decisions that way.
  6. You’re fulfilling responsibilities others could fill even though you don’t enjoy them, you aren’t uniquely gifted for them, or they stress you out. This often comes up in parenting when we refuse to delegate chores to our kids because we know they won’t be happy. It’s good for kids to work so this would be a good area to change.
  7. You’re living other peoples’ lives (the ones who want you to keep doing it). Let them do it if they care so much about it! Sometimes people want us to do things because it will make their lives better if we do it. We just have to be sure that either we want to do it or God wants us to do it.
  8. You’re creating a stressful life for yourself because you’re trying to keep everyone (or a particular someone) happy when God hasn’t called you to do what they want you to do in this particular situation. Isn’t that all of us at times? So often I’m stressed out and when I dig down deep I find that I’m worried about making someone unhappy.  Perfectionism?

 

The question is, how do we change? How do we stop people pleasing when the behavior is so ingrained in us? The first step is to renew our minds with truth.

Four Truths That Will Help Us Stop People Pleasing

Here are four truths we need to remember on a big picture level. These truths correspond to the reasons we people please up in the first section of this blog post:

  1. It’s not terrible if people don’t like us or respect us–it’s normal. We’re not everyone’s cup of tea. Some people will love us and think we’re the cat’s meow, and some people will think we’re just so-so, and some people will think we’re terrible. That’s life and it’s okay. Not to mention the fact that not everything about us is likable or worthy of respect!
  2.  Just because people are annoyed with us, that doesn’t mean they don’t like us. Here’s the truth: Sometimes we’re annoying. When we do annoying things, people are going to be annoyed with us–unless they’re so spiritually mature that they rarely get annoyed. Most people aren’t that mature so they’ll get mad at us from time to time. Thankfully, they are usually mature enough to love us even though we’re sometimes annoying! Our best bet is to work on our annoying behavior (if it’s something God would also like to see changed), but believe that people are mature enough to forgive us and love the real us–faults and all.
  3. It’s not worth getting people to like or respect us if it’s conditional love and respect. So if we have to keep working hard to measure up, it’s not worth it. What we really want is unconditional love and respect. I’m not saying we should end all of our relationships where we feel like we have to measure up to be accepted (although I would seriously consider ending a dating relationship like that), I’m just saying it’s not worth trying to live up to expectations to get people to like us.
  4. Most people will like you even if you don’t live up to their expectations or do what they want you to do. Just like most people are mature enough to love us in spite of our faults, they’re also mature enough to love us if we don’t do what they want. Sometimes they just want us to do something because it makes their life easier. So of course they might seem unhappy if we aren’t doing what they want.
How to Stop People Pleasing

After filling our minds with these overall truths, it help to process situations one at a time when we find ourselves people pleasing. Here are some steps for how stop people pleasing based on my book, Rally: A Personal Growth Bible Study, which is a Bible study about going to God for help with trials..

  1. Recognize when you’re people pleasing. The lists above should help, but you could also ask these questions: Why am I stressed? Am I trying to make someone happy? Am I trying to live up to expectations, either perceived or real?
  2. Renew your mind. You can do this with the people pleasing or living up to expectations questions from I Deserve a Donut or the Renewing of the Mind Project, but you can also do this on a big picture level with the four truths I mentioned above. Renewing your mind will help you discover if you’re people pleasing or laying down your life to love others well. Often we think we’re doing the latter when we’re really doing the former.
  3. Accept the fact that 1) not everyone will like or respect you and 2) the people who do like and respect you will be annoyed with you and/or judge you at times. If you feel like someone is judging you, ask, “Do I ever judge this person?” Chances are good the answer will be yes. And if you judge them from time to time, is it any surprise that they judge you from time to time?
  4. Let go of the unrealistic expectation that everyone will like you and never be mad at you. This will just make you frustrated and unhappy because you can’t control everyone! If you want to stop people pleasing, it’s critical to let go of the idea that everyone has to like you and never be mad at you.
  5. Let go of your have-to-haves. We don’t have to have everyone like and respect us for us to be happy! God is enough.
  6. Yay God. Thank God for the people who do love you and respect you, even when you mess up. That includes God!
Resources We Talked About on the Podcast

I hope these ideas will help you overcome people pleasing. If you want to start a people pleasing project, just renew your mind every time you catch yourself doing it.

How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Play: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”

The post 8 Signs You’re People Pleasing and How to Stop People Pleasing appeared first on Barb Raveling.

How to Create a Bible Routine You Can Enjoy | Brittany Ann27 Jan 202100:32:24

Do you ever struggle to read the Bible? Maybe you wake up in the morning, turn off the alarm, roll over, and think to yourself, Just five more minutes. Then you wake up again 30 minutes later and your Bible reading window has disappeared. You would love to create a Bible routine, but you can’t make it happen.

Or maybe you’re like I used to be twenty-five years ago. You feel like you should read the Bible, but you’re kind of bored with it. Or maybe you’re so busy you feel like you don’t have the time for it. Whatever the reason for not following through on your goal to create a Bible routine, the good news is that God can help you change.

On this episode of the Christian Habits Podcast, Brittany Ann from EquippingGodlyWomen.com talks about her book, Fall in Love with God’s Word: Practical Strategies for Busy Women, to help us create a Bible routine we can truly enjoy.

Brittany Ann is an author, speaker, and owner of the popular website EquippingGodlyWomen.com, where she challenges, encourages, and equips Christian women to be “all in” in faith and family. Her work has been featured on CBN, The Christian Post, Crosswalk, and more. If you’re someone who wants to make reading the Bible a priority, Brittany’s website can help you.

Things We Talked About on the Podcast
  • Reasons why we don’t read the Bible more often
  • How to change what we do so we actually want to read the Bible
  • Different things you can do in your quiet times to make Bible reading more interesting
  • How to find the best time of day to read your Bible
  • How to create a Bible routine you can enjoy
  • How spiritual attack affects a Bible reading habit
  • Brittany Ann’s advice if you’d like to start a quiet time habit
Quotable Quotes
  • “I wanted to have a heart that wanted to read God’s word.” -Brittany Ann
  • “We have a very loving Father God who has wonderful things for us.” -Brittany Ann
Resources We Talked About on the Podcast Connect with Brittany Ann: How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Play: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”

The post How to Create a Bible Routine You Can Enjoy | Brittany Ann appeared first on Barb Raveling.

10 Lies that Make Us Give Up on New Year’s Resolutions31 Dec 202000:21:01

How do you feel when you hear the phrase, New Year’s resolutions? Excited? Defeated? Skeptical? In recent years, New Year’s resolutions have gone out of style in favor of goals. The idea is that New Year’s resolutions are vague, so they don’t work—but goals are more defined with action steps, so they work.

I disagree with this philosophy.

What I’ve found in my own life is that neither one will work unless I go about it the right way. Before we get into that, though, let’s look at the difference between New Year’s resolutions and goals.

New Year’s Resolutions vs. Goals

According to Google, the definition of resolution is “a firm decision to do or not do something” and the definition of goal is “the object of a person’s ambition or effort; an aim or desired result.”

With those definitions in mind, I would say a resolution is about stopping and starting habits, and a goal is more of a check-it-off-your list accomplishment, such as building a garden shed or writing a book. Both of those are good things.

The problem isn’t in the word resolution or goal, the problem is how we go about trying to follow through on our resolutions and goals.

Two Approaches to New Year’s Resolutions and Goals

If we only use man-made tools (plans, lists, action steps, etc.), we’ll only be able to do the things we can accomplish in our own strength. For example, I’ve always been great at accomplishing my recreation goals because I’ve always been good at recreation. But I used to be terrible at accomplishing my work goals because I’m not naturally good at work–I can’t do those goals in my own strength.

Thankfully, we don’t need to rely on our own strength. If we’re willing to go to God for help and lean on His strength, we’ll be able to succeed even if we aren’t strong in that area. We’ll still use our lists and plans, but we’ll go to Him when we can’t make ourselves follow the plan.

At the end of this post, we’ll look at a 5-step process for achieving goals and resolutions using both practical tools and spiritual tools, but before we do that, let’s look at 10 lies that get in the way of our New Year’s resolutions and goals and 10 truths and Bible verses that will help us persevere and gain success with them.

10 Lies That Hurt – 10 Bible Verses That Help

1. This will be easy. At the beginning of the year, we’re all fired up. We think, This will be easy! I’ll just make a list of goals and then I’ll change! Unfortunately, change can be a long, slow process with a lot of glitches and failure along the way. We’ll be more likely to succeed if we have realistic expectations of the process. Jesus told us what to expect from life, and this is also true any goals or New Year’s resolutions we take on.

These things I have spoken to you so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation but take courage; I have overcome the world. John 16:33

2. This is too hard. After we realize it’s not going to be as easy as we thought, we often jump to this conclusion: It’s too hard. This isn’t true! The truth is what we told our little kids when they were growing up: You can do hard things! Especially when we know that God is with us.

For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things just as we are, yet without sin. Therefore, let’s approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace for help at the time of our need. Hebrews 4:15-16

3. I can’t do it. This is the lie that always come after “It’s too hard” in my journal. I don’t know how many times I’ve written it. Hundreds, I would guess. But here’s the great thing. I’ve written this lie over and over, recorded the truth each time, and then years later, have seen success in the area I thought I would never change. Not because I’m a super disciplined, I-can-do-all-things sort of person, but because of the real-life truth of the following Bible verse.

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

4. It should be easier than this. Because we live in an era of entitlement, we often think everything should be easy. Or we might believe the Christian version of this lie: All I have to do is pray and God will give it to me. The truth is that God usually wants us to be involved in our own transformation. It’s a partnership: He asks us to renew our minds and do anything else we need to do on a practical level to succeed with our resolutions or goal, and He does the transforming. All of that—even the renewing—takes time and effort. It rarely falls into the fun and easy category. Instead, we see the truth of this Bible verse over and over.

All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. Hebrews 12:11

5. I will never get over this. Because we start out thinking it will be easy, we’re always surprised when we fail. This usually happens in the first week or two, and that’s when this thought comes into our heads: This is just like all the other times. I’ll never change. The truth is, it will only be like all the other times if we give up and if we fail to keep renewing our minds. If we instead go to God for help, renew our minds to get His perspective, and keep trying even though it’s painful, we’ll succeed. God will help us.

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

6. I’m such a (hopeless case, loser, wreck, failure, miserable excuse of a Christian, etc.). One thing that gets in the way of renewing and also pursuing goals on a practical level is self-condemnation. Satan loves to see us beating ourselves up because he’s the condemner of the saints. It helps to remember that ALL of us struggle with not being able to change the things we want to change. The apostle Paul gives us a glimpse of what to expect when we try to change something we haven’t been able to change before. It’s not pretty. When you’re tempted to beat yourself up, read he wrote in Romans 7:15,18 and then tell yourself, “I’m not a miserable excuse for a Christian. I’m a NORMAL Christian.”

For I do not understand what I am doing; for I am not practicing what I want to do, but I do the very thing I hate.  For I know that good does not dwell in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not.  Romans 7:15,18

7. Why do I bother? After the 10th year of putting the same New Year’s resolution or goal on our list, we’re ready to give up at the drop of the hat because we don’t really believe we’ll be able to change this time either. We tell ourselves we’ll never change anyway, so why bother? Here’s the truth: We bother because God wants us to bother! He has things He wants us to do and He also wants us to live an abundant life—not a life controlled by our habits. Yes, it’s hard to press on, but it’s always worth it in the end when we slowly begin to see God changing us.

Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12

8. I just need more discipline. One of the problems we run into when pressing on is to think that we just need more discipline. This is a problem because most of us set resolutions in areas of our lives where we don’t have discipline. So if we need it, we’re out of luck. Thankfully, God is in the business of giving discipline to those who need it. Another word for discipline is self-control and self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. It comes through walking with God in hard times—so it doesn’t come all in a flash and it doesn’t come by madly trying to drum it up. Instead, it comes as we go to Him each time we fail and allow Him to fill our minds with truth, perspective, wisdom, hope, and the strength to carry on.

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:16, 22-23

9. If I just renew my mind in the morning, that will be enough to make it through the day. Truth changes our desires. So when we renew our minds, we actually want to follow through on our resolutions. Unfortunately, truth doesn’t last all day—at least in the beginning. So we’ll need to renew our minds throughout the day if we want to follow our plans.

That, in reference to your former way of life, you are to rid yourselves of the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you are to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.

10. God won’t love me until I change in this area of my life. Another thing we often do is to think we have to be perfect for God to love us. When we get in that frame of mind, we feel like we need to get perfect first and then ask Him for help. This is backwards. What we really need is go to God first, confess our sin, then work together with God on sanctification. We need His help. And working on goals and resolutions is far more enjoyable and hopeful when we have Him helping us along the way. And here’s the thing, we have a God who knows what we’re going through and wants to help. Why not take Him up on it?

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8 (Hebrews 4:15-16, which I listed for the second lie, is also a good Bible verse for this one.)

My prayer is that God will set us free with His truth in the areas we want to change this year. I hope you’ll consider making some New Year’s resolutions or goals this year and then go to God for help with the transformation process. Let’s take a look at a process to find success with your goals and resolutions.

How to Succeed with Your New Year’s Resolutions and Goals
  1. Make a resolution or set a goal. The quandary is always, how many do you make? I think that depends on how far along you are in the self-control process. In the old days I used to make probably 20 of them, but the only goals I would accomplish were the goals in the recreation department! Now I make maybe 10 and I would guess I would complete about 8 of them. In my coaching classes, they tell us that it’s best to have only three big goals to work on at a time. If you have too many, it will be hard to follow through on them. So even if I have 10 for the year, I don’t work on all of them at once. I would try to set at least one resolution (breaking, controlling, or starting a habit) and one goal that you can check off when it’s finished.
  2. Make a plan, dividing your goal or resolution into manageable action steps. It may help to research your goal or resolutions (find out how others have accomplished it) before you come up with a list of action steps. Make the action steps small enough that they’ll be easy and non-intimidating to tackle. With a habit, your action steps may be something like “lay your clothes out to go to the gym each evening” or “put your phone in the kitchen at 7:00 at night” or “make a chart to record how many time you renew your mind and/or do your habit.”
  3. Forget about the goal and focus on the first step in your action plan. When you see the whole goal stretched out before you , it seems overwhelming. It will be much easier to make yourself work on it if you just focus on a) the first step if it’s a goal or b) just one day with your habit if it’s a resolution. This keeps you from getting overwhelmed.
  4. Renew your mind whenever you can’t make yourself do the next step. Since we’re transformed by the renewing of the mind (Romans 12:2), it’s essential to renew our mind if we want to see change. Click here for ideas of how to renew your mind: Renewing of the Mind Tools.
  5. Keep your eyes on the real goal (eternity with God) so you don’t get stressed out along the way. When you feel like you have to succeed, it’s easy to get stressed because you know you may not succeed. But when we focus on Jesus, we’ll be far more relaxed, as we remember our final destination and His grace along the way. (Hebrews 12:1-2)

Following are some resources you can use for help with your goals and resolutions.

Resources for Going to God for Help with New Year’s Resolutions and Goals
  • Freedom from Procrastination  – You can use this Bible study to overcome procrastination if you’re a chronic procrastinator, but you can also use it to work on your New Year’s resolutions and scary goals. I’m currently going through it myself to work on a hard goal (one I’ve procrastinated for a few years) and it’s really helping!
  • Renewing of the Mind Project: Going to God for Help with Your Habits, Goals, and Emotions  – this is a book that will help you make a project out of your goal or resolution. It contains practical renewing-the-mind help plus 250+ Bible verses and 49 sets of questions you can use for conversations with God about your goals and resolutions.
  • If you struggle with fear of failure, check out the Fear of Failure, Disappointment, Worry, Lack of Confidence, Fear of Condemnation, or Reward/Obsession questions and Bible verses in the Renewing of the Mind Project. Also, remember that you have a Helper
  • The self-condemnation, insecurity/feeling inadequate, perfectionism, greed/lust, and failure questions and Bible verses from the Renewing of the Mind Project would all be helpful ways to renew after failure
  • New Year’s Bible study – this is a Bible study series you can do at your own pace on my blog
How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
  • To listen or subscribe on Vurbl: click here

Question: What do you do to get yourself to follow through on your New Year’s resolution or to focus on your word for the year if you’re going that route? What do you say that makes you want to give up?

Note: This is an update of a post that was first published 1/20/13 without a podcast episode.

The post 10 Lies that Make Us Give Up on New Year’s Resolutions appeared first on Barb Raveling.

How to Stop Being Depressed During the Pandemic (or in Regular Life)25 Nov 202000:21:01

If I were to ask the question, “Have you been depressed at all during the pandemic?” my guess is that every single one of you would answer that question with a yes. I know I have. Many days are great, but there are also those days when I feel like I’m going to go stark raving mad crazy if this doesn’t end soon! That’s why I thought I’d do a blog post and podcast on how to stop being depressed during the pandemic.

If you’re reading this after the pandemic, the tips will help for regular life as well! The first thing I want to show you is how I came up with the tips. I find that if I renew my mind first, it’s easier to see how to handle life. The following is an option chart I made to renew my mind about this issue.

This isn’t a chart to brainstorm options–it’s a chart to analyze the options we’re currently taking to see how they’re working out for us. The left column shows the options we often take during a crisis. I always put the healthy option choice at the bottom of the chart (the one we don’t often take!).

The second column shows how that option affects our peace and joy, the third column shows how it affects our relationship with God, and the last column shows how it affects our lives.  An up arrow means that it improves that area (peace and joy, relationship with God, life) and a down arrow means that it makes it worse.

After you’re through filling out the chart, take a minute to look it over and ask, “What’s my best option?” I’ll often find that I’m taking those middle options that don’t get me where I want to go in life. The option that requires giving up my “rights”–and also putting out some effort to change life–is pretty much always the best option. I may know that intellectually before I renew, but filling out the chart helps me to see it at the gut level.

These are the tips I’ve come up with about how to stop being depressed based on the results of the chart.

How to Stop Being Depressed during the Pandemic (or in Regular Life)
  1. Get a biblical perspective of the situation. From a cultural perspective, there’s nothing good about trials (and a pandemic certainly qualifies as a trial), but from a biblical perspective there is. God uses trials to help us grow: to mature us, build our character, and help us grow closer to Him (James 1:2-4). Also, Jesus reminds us that life is about loving God and loving others. We can still do both during the pandemic, so life isn’t terrible! It’s only terrible when we think life has to be fun and exciting or safe or free to do whatever we feel like doing. If you’re struggling with how to respond to the trial of the pandemic, ask yourself, “How would Jesus respond if He were living in your state or country during a pandemic?” Then don’t get annoyed with your friend or neighbor if they come up with a different answer.
  2. Renew your mind as soon as possible when you become upset. There’s lots of different ways we get upset during the pandemic. We’re fearful. We’re annoyed. We’re bored. We’re grieving. And we’re probably regretting some of our coping mechanisms. When we let those negative emotions simmer for too long, they morph into depression. You can avoid that by renewing as soon as possible. Try truth journaling to renew, or answer the questions in I Deserve a Donut (and Other Lies That Make You Eat) or the Renewing of the Mind Project for the emotion you’re experiencing. I Deserve a Donut is also available as a free Android or iOS app.
  3. Accept what you need to accept. Often what you need to accept feels unacceptable. But if you can’t change it, you’ll be far happier if you accept it. Here are a few things you may need to accept during the pandemic: 1) you don’t get to make the rules in your state (unless you happen to be the governor of your state), 2) you can’t make everyone do what you think they should do, 3) sometimes you’ll have to put up with regulations you think are really unreasonable, 4) you may have to wear a mask at work now which makes your job WAY less fun, 5) you may miss out on some important things in life because of the regulations in your state or country or because you or your loved ones have COVID, and 6) you may even need to accept the death of a loved one which is incredibly painful. Accepting doesn’t mean we don’t grieve. We need to grieve! But it does mean that we learn to hold that thing we want with open hands, willing to give it up if necessary.
  4. Work on making your life the best possible life within the context of what you can’t change. Eat healthy. Exercise. Spend time outside. Call people and visit (maybe go on walks with them by phone). Go on hikes or walks with people. (We’ll be doing a few snowy, wintery hikes over Thanksgiving.) Turn on a great song and dance–by yourself if necessary! Get out every day even if it’s just to run an errand if you feel like you can do that safely. Set goals. Watch a funny movie (but not five funny movies in a row).Make plans. Schedule your day. Ask, “Who can I help or show love to today?”
  5. Use this as an opportunity to develop a thankfulness habit. In 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, Paul tells us to rejoice always, and give thanks in ALL circumstances. We can assume that also means during a pandemic. One way to develop this habit is to buy a journal or grab a notebook and write out five different things each day that you’re thankful for. This trains your mind to look for the good in life. They don’t have to be big things. Right now I’m looking out my window and I’m thankful for the little flakes of snow falling from the sky. I’m thankful for the larch in my yard with its rusty Fall needles. And I’m thankful (and shocked!) that I had the discipline to go to the store this morning at 6:30 am before the Thanksgiving rush.
  6. Work toward change if you feel so led. Often people will say, “You’re such a defeatist!” if you accept hard things. But here’s the truth: Unless you can change things or unless you’re the type of person that wants to go into politics or research or some other field where you may be able to make a difference, it’s not defeatist to accept things. Often our only choice is to accept things with a good attitude or a bad attitude because like it or not they’re happening. But while you’re doing that (accepting), don’t forget to work on items 2, 4, and 5 above because those are ways you can actually make a difference. #2 is what will lead to #1.

That’s about it. I hope some of these things help. Life is hard right now, but it can always be harder so we have lots to be thankful for! If you’re grieving today, take a little time to grieve, but then move on to these other things as life can be better.

Also, if you get really depressed, talk to a counselor or a friend. This isn’t a good time to be alone!

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast How to Listen to the Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”

The post How to Stop Being Depressed During the Pandemic (or in Regular Life) appeared first on Barb Raveling.

10 Tips to Help You Stop Procrastinating05 Nov 202000:10:46

Coming October 6, 2025: How to Stop Procrastinating Online Course! Click here to find more info: How to Stop Procrastinating.

Do you ever find yourself putting off a dreaded task for weeks or even months or years? I have been known to procrastinate a 10-minute job for ten years. Thankfully, God is slowly changing me in this area. Here are ten tips I’ve been using to help me stop procrastinating. Hope they help you as well!

 

10 Tips to Help You Stop Procrastinating
  1. Find out why you’re procrastinating. When you feel like procrastinating, ask, “Why am I procrastinating?” Sometimes just hearing the answer to that question will help you stop procrastinating. For example, if the answer is “I don’t know how to do it,” then the first step is to ask someone how to do it or watch a YouTube video. When the reason for procrastination is hazy, we can’t find a solution to the problem because we don’t know what the problem is.
  2. Ask, “What’s the first step?” Often, we procrastinate because we see that huge project all at once the minute we think of it. It seems so overwhelming we don’t want to begin. When we only think of the first step, it seems more manageable and we’ll feel like doing it.
  3. Break your project into smaller tasks. Sometimes it helps to break the project into little steps before you even start. That way when you ask, “What’s the first step?” you’ll have a ready answer which will make it easier to start. You could even get a project notebook that contains steps for all your projects or use Todoist, Trello, or some other productivity app to create project task lists.
  4. Set up your project the night before. Sometimes the hardest thing is to just get the job started. It really helps to lay out everything you need the night before. Something about doing that just makes it easier to start the next morning. This could work for making dinner as well. Decide on what you’re having in the morning, take out some of the ingredients, and it will be easier to start the meal later.
  5. Start with an easy, non-threatening task. Sometimes it helps to do an easy task before you tackle your dreaded task just to get your work motors revved up. For example, you could sweep the kitchen or vacuum the floor or walk the dog around the block. Anything to tell your brain that, “Hey, we’re going into work-mode now.” If you do that, set a time to start your hard work. So for example, you might start sweeping at 7:00 and say, “From 7:30 to 8:30, I’ll work on that difficult project.” This will help you get it into your mind that yes, you are going to work on that dreaded project today!
  6. Give yourself a pep talk. While you’re doing that easy task, give yourself a pep talk about the hard task. Tell yourself how good it will feel to accomplish it. Tell yourself, “You can do this!” Maybe even picture yourself working cheerfully away at your task. Anything to get you in the mood to do it. When the set time comes to do it, resist the urge to wait “just another five minutes.” Instead, treat it like you’re going to a job outside your home and you have to get there on time!
  7. Try to make it as fun as possible. While you’re actually doing the job, try to make it as fun as possible. Put on some great music. Get a friend or family member to work alongside you. Or go to the bakery where it is at least a fun atmosphere and you can have a cup of coffee by your side if it’s something you can do at the bakery.
  8. Take advantage of momentum. Have you ever tried to push a car down the street? It’s hardest at the beginning. But once you get it rolling it doesn’t require that much effort. That’s also true of our most dreaded tasks. The hardest part is to get it rolling. Try to work on it every day but Sunday so you can take advantage of the momentum.
  9. Be thankful. Do you ever catch yourself complaining when you’re working on a really hard job? Those negative thoughts sap our energy. Reverse them by being thankful. As you do your job say things like, “Thank you, God, for helping me work on this today. Thank you for what you’ll help me accomplish.”
  10. Give yourself a reward for finishing the job. Remember the old days when the teacher would give you a sticker for completing your homework assignment? Rewards can motivate us to work, even if they’re small ones. You could give yourself a small reward for each step of the process if the steps themselves are huge, or just give yourself a reward when you finish the whole project. You could even use those cute little stickers and put them next to the tasks on your project list after you complete them!

It feels great to accomplish a dreaded project. If you have one of those projects hanging around the house or the office, see if some of these tips will help. If you’d like more help, check out my new course below.

New Course: How to Stop Procrastinating

 Click here to find more info.

Resources Mentioned on the Podcast
  • To-Doist App
  • Freedom from Procrastination. God used the writing of this book to completely change me in the area of procrastination, and I’m hoping He’ll use it to help you as well. The book contains Bible studies as well as practical tips, project lists, weekly to-do charts, and questions and Bible verses to help you renew your mind when you don’t feel like doing the next thing on your to-do list.
How to Listen to the Christian Habits Podcast
  • To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Android: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Google Play: click here
  • To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here
  • Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”

Discussion: Do you have any other tips for procrastination? Which tips would help you the most?

The post 10 Tips to Help You Stop Procrastinating appeared first on Barb Raveling.

© My Podcast Data