Much of your thinking is automatic, and that can be a great thing. No one needs to analyze every stroke of the toothbrush, so to speak. The problem, Dr. Henry Cloud contends, is when we default to thinking patterns that don’t work for situations that require us to be more considered and deliberate with our minds. One of the issues is that automatic thinking can lead to deeply ingrained patterns of behavior that self-reinforce. You have to ask yourself some questions about these automatic thoughts. Here’s a big one: are these even thoughts? Maybe this won’t surprise you, but no, classically speaking many of these automatic thoughts don’t meet the criteria of thoughts. These ideas, constructs, or concepts might pop into your head, but they aren’t considered, they aren’t critiqued. They are thoughts, but they require no thinking. Dr. Cloud shares ways to start actively thinking again so that you can take control of your life in areas you’re overlooking. 

Written Question:

 Dr. Cloud addresses a question about dealing with a spouse diagnosed with narcissism who frequently turns conversations into arguments. He discusses the complexity of narcissistic personality disorder, emphasizing that not all cases are alike. Dr. Cloud suggests considering whether the narcissism is rooted in strength or weakness, as this affects the approach to dealing with it. The main advice Dr. Cloud offers is to stop engaging in these fights. He uses the analogy of a boxing match, explaining that it takes two people to argue. He recommends setting boundaries by refusing to continue unproductive conversations, suggesting phrases like "I don't think this is helping" or "I'm not comfortable talking about this right now." Dr. Cloud emphasizes the importance of removing oneself from the situation and proposing alternative ways to address issues, such as discussing them in a counseling session.

Carol needs help moving forward with her life after ending her relationship with her parents. She ruminates and finds herself playing back everything that has happened over the years. What can she do truly move on?

Written Question:

What kind of advice do you have for young leaders as they take on more responsibility?

Dr. Henry Cloud wants to help you take back control of your time and energy. You'll learn powerful strategies to prioritize what matters, set healthy boundaries, and achieve your goals with less stress and more joy. Time is a Finite Resource is a 2 hour workshop that will transform how you use your time. Go to https://www.boundaries.me/time to get a special offer on the upcoming workshop!

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.

https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud

Dr. Cloud discusses the concept of time management from a different perspective. He argues that rather than managing time itself, which is finite and unchangeable, the focus should be on how we manage ourselves within that time. Dr. Cloud identifies common reasons people may not use their time effectively, such as feeling emotionally isolated, having poor boundaries in saying no to requests, and excessive perfectionism. He gives the example of his father's philosophy of doing things "good enough for who it's for" to avoid wasting time on unnecessary perfectionism. Dr. Cloud suggests evaluating if an activity truly aligns with one's values and priorities before investing more time in it. The core idea is being intentional about how you "invest" yourself and your energy within the limited time available. Rather than time management tactics, this talk examines mindsets and motivations that can lead to poor time utilization.

Answering a viewer’s written question, Dr. Cloud addresses a common dilemma: how to manage time effectively in a busy life. Rather than encouraging viewers to do more, he suggests focusing on achieving greater effects with the time available. Using relatable analogies like mowing grass with scissors versus a lawnmower, he demonstrates how changing work methods can enhance productivity. Dr. Cloud also discusses outsourcing tasks and prioritizing what truly matters. He acknowledges that as one grows personally and professionally, demands increase, making strategic time management crucial. The key, he argues, is not to do more, but to identify and focus on high-priority tasks that align with one's goals and values.

Sandy has a 35 year old son who has overcome opioid addiction and is in a much better place. She’s noticed that he’s drinking far too much and seems like a functioning alcoholic. How can she have a conversation with him without bringing up the trauma of the past intervention they had over opioids?

Dr. Henry Cloud wants to help you take back control of your time and energy. You'll learn powerful strategies to prioritize what matters, set healthy boundaries, and achieve your goals with less stress and more joy. Master Your Time, Master Your Life is a 2 hour workshop that will transform how you use your time. Go to https://www.boundaries.me/time to get a special offer on the upcoming workshop!

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.

https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud

Much of how we bond and attach to others is formed in early childhood. Dr. Henry Cloud shows you how to look at your attachment style and find ways to get to a secure attachment. The attachments you have early on, whether healthy, inconsistent, or toxic, will have a huge affect on you. How do you experience your need for others? This is a critical aspect to how you attach. When your relationship with your needs are filled with conflict your attachment will be unsteady. Dr. Cloud breaks down the contributing factors that lead to secure attachment. This is a big talk, but you’ll understand so much more about how and why you’re having trouble with your attachments.

Audience Question:

I suspect my boundaries need some maintenance. What are the signs I can look for that will tell me if I need to set stronger boundaries?

Jackie recently had a second child. Some of the women in her family are critical of her for not losing her baby weight like she did with her first child. How can she get them to drop the subject as it’s not helping and making her not want to see them?

Jacqueline needs to unfriend someone. The silent treatment isn’t working. Is there a good way to break off a friendship and go no-contact?

Being estranged from someone you once were close to can be a painful reality to live in. Should you reconcile? When? How? How can we fix the pain of estrangement? Does it get easier? What is my role in this process? What is mine to own? What should I do?

Dr. Cloud wants to help you navigate this terrain.  Go to https://boundaries.me/reconcile to find out more about the 2 hour live webinar with Dr. Cloud.

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.

https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud

By and large, personality type tests are very helpful as an initial assessment tool. But Dr. Henry Cloud wants you to get a better understanding of what they are actually useful for and where they fall short. One of the great things about them is that they allow us to see that a person’s behavior might not be coming from some malicious place, but from a propensity based on their personality. That's a huge step forward in building healthy relationships! Here’s the problem: a lot of people will take these tests and see themselves and others in a fixed way. While the personality tests can show the result of certain traits, they don’t explain the “why” of it. Dr. Cloud walks us through the polarity of personality tests and how to use these types of tests in a more holistic way. 

Written question:

My partner insists we stay up all night if we fight, saying we shouldn't go to bed mad. But this makes everything worse! Am I wrong for needing space?

Jessica has an estranged relationship with her mom and needs advice. Can she follow the Bible and honor her mother while also not communicating with her?

Maria is dealing with a triangulation problem. She’s separated from her husband and he is using her mother to persuade her. How can she stop this from happening?

Jenny’s mother has a drinking problem. She is constantly drinking wine and now she’s falling often. How can she encourage her to get help when her mother gets angry whenever the subject is brought up?

Being estranged from someone you once were close to can be a painful reality to live in. Should you reconcile? When? How? How can we fix the pain of estrangement? Does it get easier? What is my role in this process? What is mine to own? What should I do?

Dr. Cloud wants to help you navigate this terrain.  Go to https://boundaries.me/reconcile to find out more about the 2 hour live webinar with Dr. Cloud.

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.

https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud

What thoughts come to mind when you think of responsibility? Is it burdensome, negative, or toxic? If you think that you’re not alone. The word often gets twisted during our upbringing because it’s brought down on you, it’s used in a repressive and toxic way. Dr. Henry Cloud wants you to think differently about responsibility. Outside pressure and duty are often associated with responsibilities, and if those extrinsic factors went away you would not keep those responsibilities. Dr. Cloud elaborates on how to transform the external side of responsibility into internal choice. How you think about your responsibilities as a choice is critical for developing empowerment in your life. Reality will always hold you responsible, but whether you take responsibility for your role in what happens has to be your choice. 

Write-in question of the day:

I haven't spoken to my son in several years and it's the most painful loss I've ever experienced. His father was very hard on him. Too hard, and I didn't step in when I should have. He was a very stern man. Never physically abusive, but highly judgmental and not an ounce of love to give. I'm now divorced and I want to reconnect with my son but he isn't returning my calls. What can I do?

Jill stores trauma from her past in her body. She gets tense pains in her neck, back, shoulders, and stomach when she needs to speak up for herself around the family that caused the trauma.

Jennifer and her husband are in disagreement about their church. Her husband is against the core principles of his church but she wants to stay.

Being estranged from someone you once were close to can be a painful reality to live in. Should you reconcile? When? How? How can we fix the pain of estrangement? Does it get easier? What is my role in this process? What is mine to own? What should I do?

Dr. Cloud wants to help you navigate this terrain.  Go to https://boundaries.me/reconcile to find out more about the 2 hour live webinar with Dr. Cloud.

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.

https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud

You may have heard from this show that motivation is not correlated with goal achievement–in fact it can be inversely correlated with it. What then are the factors that have the biggest impact on accomplishing goals? Dr. Henry Cloud shows us that what matters most is first the belief that your goal can be achieved. The second factor is prioritization. In this short talk, Dr. Cloud will help you get clear about what really works for making things happen in your life. Remember, if everything is a priority, nothing is a priority.

Write-in Question:

I haven't spoken to my son in several years and it's the most painful loss I've ever experienced. His father was very hard on him. Too hard, and I didn't step in when I should have. He was a very stern man. Never physically abusive, but highly judgmental and not an ounce of love to give. I'm now divorced and I want to reconnect with my son but he isn't returning my calls. What can I do?

Jaret got divorced 2 year ago and wants to reconcile the marriage. His big question is whether his desire to reconcile is coming from a good place or a place of fear.

Kathy lives with a friend that’s a hoarder. When Kathy throws things away they find their way back into the house. How can she confront the friend in a peaceful way about starting the cleanup process?

Laura feels stuck in a pattern of self-betrayal. She’s a journalist and doesn’t feel comfortable talking about her faith at work.

Being estranged from someone you once were close to can be a painful reality to live in. Should you reconcile? When? How? How can we fix the pain of estrangement? Does it get easier? What is my role in this process? What is mine to own? What should I do?

Dr. Cloud wants to help you navigate this terrain.  Go to https://boundaries.me/reconcile to find out more about the 2 hour live webinar with Dr. Cloud.

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.

https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud

“Resilience” is a word that is thrown around a lot these days, and for good reason. We could all use a little more of it. But what is resilience, and how does one become more resilient? Dr. Henry Cloud breaks down the subject like this: There are negative events in your life from a small problem to something potentially catastrophic. Those are the external things that happen. Resilience lies within the person responding to those events. How you see yourself, how you view your own strength and confidence, the experiences you have had–all of these lead to your resilience. Your resilience is your capacity to deal with these challenges that come into your life. So how can you change your capacity? Your words. Dr. Cloud wants you to look at your words, and to understand how much they can affect your resiliency. How you say things to yourself about what’s happening directly influences how you interpret the event and its outcome. 

Write-in Question:

I've dealt with a lot of anxiety in the past, both social anxiety and just general panic-y feelings, crippling self-doubt. This has gone on forever. But lately my friends have been saying they think I have ADHD. They've been sending me memes about ADHD and saying, "This is SO you!" And I have to admit. It is! A friend said there is a connection between ADHD and anxiety. Is that true?

Tina has a son with severe mental illnesses. He’s 38 and is refusing medication. What are her option before involuntary commitment?

Kathleen wants to know when she should stop hoping for further improvements in her husband. He has bipolar disorder and has made great strides but is plateauing in his growth. How can she encourage him to keep growing when he might already be maxed out?

Beth’s husband is emotionally immature. Their therapist has confirmed what she already knows: he can’t take feedback and gets defensive easily. What are some strategies for getting him on the right track?

Being estranged from someone you once were close to can be a painful reality to live in. Should you reconcile? When? How? How can we fix the pain of estrangement? Does it get easier? What is my role in this process? What is mine to own? What should I do?

Dr. Cloud wants to help you navigate this terrain.  Go to https://boundaries.me/reconcile to find out more about the 2 hour live webinar with Dr. Cloud.

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.

https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud

Wanting to do something and actually doing it are two very different things. Dr. Henry Cloud wants you to stop thinking of motivation as the key to success. While of course motivation is an important part of getting started, it can also cause problems. Hope deferred makes the heart sick, as the Bible says, and motivations that don’t lead to actions can cause their own set of problems along these same lines. An addict may want to get clean and be motivated to do so, but at each turn they find an obstacle and it doesn’t get them to sobriety. As these motivations accrue and lead to dead ends a new pattern emerges: helplessness. You can’t depend on motivation to get you to where you want to go. It ebbs and flows and it will let you down. So what does work when you have the motivation? Prioritization, habits, patterns, practices, accountability partners. Dr. Cloud wants you to keep your motivation, but be mindful that it’s not the fuel that leads to the end game. Let your motivation lead you to a new habit that’s more sustainable than motivation alone.

Write-in Question:

I have a short temper and I often wind up alienating myself from others because I am quick to get angry. It's probably affecting my blood pressure (which is high) and my overall mental health, and obviously the quality of my relationships too. Even when I try to suppress my anger, I find myself acting in a passive aggressive way. How can I learn to control my anger before it controls me?

Lindsey needs help with reestablishing priorities again. She got on the wrong track and wants to rethink how she views prioritizing the healthy habits she used to have.

Leslie gets insecure about the men she’s dating and whether they are interested in other women. How can she tell if this is just jealousy or her intuition picking up on a bigger problem?

Theresa has a problem with a brother she loves that also has some anger issues. How can she bring peace to the situation without sweeping the problems under the rug?

Being estranged from someone you once were close to can be a painful reality to live in. Should you reconcile? When? How? How can we fix the pain of estrangement? Does it get easier? What is my role in this process? What is mine to own? What should I do?

Dr. Cloud wants to help you navigate this terrain.  Go to https://boundaries.me/reconcile to find out more about the 2 hour live webinar with Dr. Cloud.

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.

https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud

Narcissism has become such a commonplace word that not only has it lost its specificity, but in doing so it has become difficult to identify the types of narcissistic behavior you might be dealing with. Dr. Henry Cloud wants you to learn what type of narcissistic patterns a person may have. Some narcissists can change for the better, and others can’t. Dr. Cloud describes the different underlying causes of this behavior and how you can address the entitlement that it presents as. In some cases you need to stay clear of these people, In other cases, through patience and love, they can find the vulnerability they need to become their real selves. 

-Sarah has cut off contact with her mother but has family engagements where she can’t avoid her. How can she protect her sense of peace when her mother is around?

-Kimberly has experienced rejection, whether from romantic partners or her own kids. How can she stop ruminating and playing out regrets?

-Megan is a positive person, but when it comes to her future she has a really tough time seeing positive outcomes happening. What can she do to change her self-talk to something more positive?

Being estranged from someone you once were close to can be a painful reality to live in. Should you reconcile? When? How? How can we fix the pain of estrangement? Does it get easier? What is my role in this process? What is mine to own? What should I do?

Dr. Cloud wants to help you navigate this terrain.  Go to https://boundaries.me/reconcile to find out more about the 2 hour live webinar with Dr. Cloud. Take advantage of early sale pricing before 

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.

https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud

When you’re struggling, you’re usually going to have a symptom: you might be anxious, depressed, afraid, overreacting. You might be getting stuck accomplishing something. Whatever your symptoms might be, Dr. Henry Cloud wants you to see the key differences between symptoms and root causes. Learning more about your symptoms can help you see where your root causes are, but continuing to treat the symptoms without investigating the causes won’t lead to real change. Dr. Cloud wants you to stop and examine your symptoms so that you can get the help you need to address the real underlying causes behind them. It’s a great way to start feeling better.

Write-in Question:
I was in a relationship for years with someone who made me question my own reality. By the end, I felt crazy and didn't know what was real anymore. I've been out of it for a while but I still struggle with self-doubt. Do you have any advice for overcoming the effects of long-term gaslighting?

Barbara wants to know what the process of healing from childhood trauma looks like in terms of time and commitment?

Joy got dumped by a widower after being together for two years, out of nowhere. When they started the relationship he had lost his wife only three months prior and isn’t sure if she was just a rebound-relationship to him.

Donna has a lack of trust that’s causing some serious problems. She doesn’t even trust her doctor. How can she assess trustworthiness better and gain some skills so that she can at least begin trusting at all again?

Being estranged from someone you once were close to can be a painful reality to live in. Should you reconcile? When? How? How can we fix the pain of estrangement? Does it get easier? What is my role in this process? What is mine to own? What should I do?
Dr. Cloud wants to help you navigate this terrain.  Go to https://boundaries.me/reconcile to find out more about the 2 hour live webinar with Dr. Cloud.

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.
https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud

While of course being your authentic self is always a good idea, "faking it" can be an incredible tool. Dr. Henry Cloud talks about the psychological power that comes from faking it till you make it. Whenever a new task is put in front of you that you don’t know exactly how to do, this technique can be used to give you the confidence you’ll need to learn. When we are put in a position where we don’t have the requisite understanding or skills to perform, the process of faking it till you make it can help you avoid the feeling of being an imposter. Imposter syndrome can make you feel like a fraud. There are two components to faking it till you make it. One is that ALL learning is faking it till you make it. You don’t know what you’re doing until you’re doing it, and the process is inextricably linked to learning. The second component is that you actually have to do something to fake it till you make it! Rather than sitting around pondering and wondering whether you can do something, faking it till you make it gets you going on the path! Growth is not easy, but it’s really hard if you need to be perfect and all-knowing in order to get started. Fake it till you make it and you are on the right track to getting a new ability.

Lori needs help managing her relationship with her her ex-husband. They are still financially intertwined, but she might also still have feelings of love keeping her stuck.

Write-in Question: I have been surprised recently to discover that my husband and I have very different positions on a major event that has been occurring in the global news. Through deeper discussion, it's clear that his values haven't changed, and I don't believe mine have either. We have always agreed on nearly everything when it comes to politics and ideals, and otherwise we still do. I want to have healthy separateness, but it is a strange feeling to disagree about something that we both have such strong conviction towards. How important is it for married people to have the same position about big topics like this?

Tasha wants to stop comparing herself to others. She can see that it's coming from a need to control her world that might stem from earlier trauma.

Being estranged from someone you once were close to can be a painful reality to live in. Should you reconcile? When? How? How can we fix the pain of estrangement? Does it get easier? What is my role in this process? What is mine to own? What should I do?

Dr. Cloud wants to help you navigate this terrain.  Go to https://boundaries.me/reconcile to find out more about the 2 hour live webinar with Dr. Cloud.

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.

https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud

What’s the first thing you think of when you hear the word “criticism?” How you handle criticism is not just a measure of your patience, it’s also a huge growth opportunity. Dr. Henry Cloud explains how changing the frame through which you look at criticism can greatly improve your relationships and your performance. How you feel about criticism can also tell you a lot about your character. Getting to the next level in your life involves improving on things or adding new things to your life, whatever they may be. If you are not willing to find out where you can improve from the outside it’s going to be very difficult to verify real changes. Dr. Cloud wants you to think about your reactions to feedback and how you can steer away from defensiveness. Not all criticism is warranted or justified, but when it’s coming from a trusted source that wants the best for you it can be a blessing and chance to change for the better. 

Dr. Cloud answers this write-in question:

I have a getting-started problem. I am a 37 year old male and I know that I need to make changes if I want to live the kind of life I always imagined living. I could lose a few pounds. I could take my dating relationships more seriously. I could be more ambitious at work. I could play a few less video games and drink a bit less. But I don't, and feel like I'm always living in tomorrow. I come up with plans but I never get started. Is there something I can do today that will make the kind of difference that I'll feel immediately, and might help me get more motivated to get to work?

Heather needs strategies for staying emotionally centered when things get heated with family members she works with. 

Regina has a daughter who is a pastor in Sweden. How can she make her relationship with her daughter work when her daughter is showing signs of contempt toward her at every turn?

Being estranged from someone you once were close to can be a painful reality to live in. Should you reconcile? When? How? How can we fix the pain of estrangement? Does it get easier? What is my role in this process? What is mine to own? What should I do?

Dr. Cloud wants to help you navigate this terrain.  Go to https://boundaries.me/reconcile to find out more about the 2 hour live webinar with Dr. Cloud.

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice. https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud

On this episode of The Dr. Cloud Show:

Dr. Cloud explores criticism and its role in personal growth and relationships. He argues that when done with the right approach, criticism can be an act of love that facilitates positive change. Dr. Cloud provides tips on giving and receiving criticism effectively. He emphasizes specificity over global statements, using "I" statements, setting a positive tone, making it a conversation, and offering actionable feedback. He also examines motivations behind unhelpful criticism like envy, anger, or control. The talk covers watching tone, making criticism timely and relevant, and distinguishing criticism aimed at helping versus hurting. Overall, Dr. Cloud offers insights into navigating constructive criticism, open communication, and fostering personal and interpersonal growth through this approach.

Dr. Cloud tackles a viewer's question about coping with a partner whose language inadvertently echoes her emotionally abusive father's. He discusses the term "emotional abuse," arguing that its overuse can diminish its impact when accurately applied. Dr. Cloud advises approaching the partner constructively, focusing on how they can communicate in ways that foster connection and avoid triggering past traumas. He suggests discussing specific language that helps or hurts, enabling better understanding of each other's sensitivities. Additionally, he recommends taking timeouts when triggered to prevent confusing past and present experiences. This video offers strategies for those whose current relationships are affected by childhood trauma.

Christie is having trouble receiving love. She has a transactional mentality about it where she feels she needs to be worthy of it. 

Stacy is helping recovering addicts. Many of them have a victim mindset and cross her boundaries. How can she enforce her boundaries without exacerbating their victim mentality?

Tiffany has a difficult relationship with her father. He is addicted to TV and is constantly talking about conspiracy theories. 

Dr. Henry Cloud wants to help you take back control of your time and energy. You'll learn powerful strategies to prioritize what matters, set healthy boundaries, and achieve your goals with less stress and more joy. Master Your Time, Master Your Life is a 2 hour workshop that will transform how you use your time. Go to https://www.boundaries.me/time to get a special offer on the upcoming workshop!

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.

https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud

How do you work on conflicts in a relationship? Dr. Henry Cloud wants you to think about which way you lean when something comes up that’s either uncomfortable, argumentative or otherwise conflictual in your relationships. Understanding that there are basically three types of behavior that you might engage in, one of them being more prevalent in your life. The three types are moving toward, moving away, or moving against. You will always move in one of these directions during a conflict. Where this gets interesting is when you see that rather than making a choice, you might be doing this automatically. You might be moving away from a conflict when you need to move against it. And so on. As you begin learning your conflict type, you’ll also see it in others and your relationships will greatly improve as conflicts arise.

Jacqueline wants to take care of her sister’s former foster daughter as a child advocate, but her sister is against the idea and sees it as a betrayal. What do you do when someone you love is preventing you from doing what’s right? 

Anne is having difficulty accepting her decision to end a romantic relationship. Did she leave for the right reasons, or was it out of misplaced fears?

Written Question:

I am really interested in personal growth. Lately I feel like my enthusiasm for personal growth and development content might be going overboard though. I follow a lot of good folks on social media, read tons of books, watch Youtube videos, and attend seminars in person. These things all make me feel good and like I'm doing something right, but I'm not sure if I'm really doing all that much growing. Can you overdose on personal growth, or what am I doing wrong?

Being estranged from someone you once were close to can be a painful reality to live in. Should you reconcile? When? How? How can we fix the pain of estrangement? Does it get easier? What is my role in this process? What is mine to own? What should I do?

Dr. Cloud wants to help you navigate this terrain.  Go to https://boundaries.me/reconcile to find out more about the 2 hour live webinar with Dr. Cloud.

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.

https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud

One thing most of us do with the word “choice” is that we equate it with the power to make something happen. Dr. Henry Cloud wants you to rethink what choice is actually capable of bringing to your life. Choice is great, it’s important, but it’s not a methodology. That’s to say that willpower and choice are not a method of change alone. Your initial choice can set your direction, and that’s a hugely powerful start, but that does not lead to staying power. When you’re setting a goal, definitely use choice to get started, but remember that you will continue to employ choices at every step to get to your goal. One choice is never enough to make anything meaningful happen. You need to continue making choices along the way to make real changes.

Dr. Cloud takes a write-in question:

I think of myself as an emotionally intelligent person, but recently I got some feedback that has me wondering. A friend of mine reached out looking for support and I did what I hear a lot of men do and tried to give her some advice. She wasn't looking for advice. She told me in a kind way that my response lacked emotional intelligence. I understand now that what I did wasn't helpful. But that leaves me wondering: How do I assess my own emotional intelligence?

Sarah is having difficulty accepting her adult daughter’s decisions. How can learn to let her daughter make her own mistakes?

Kathy is having serious issues with her daughter and granddaughter who both live with her. They don’t talk to her, and when they do it’s rude and mean. What can she do to open up civil communication again?

Being estranged from someone you once were close to can be a painful reality to live in. Should you reconcile? When? How? How can we fix the pain of estrangement? Does it get easier? What is my role in this process? What is mine to own? What should I do?

Dr. Cloud wants to help you navigate this terrain.  Go to https://boundaries.me/reconcile to find out more about the 2 hour live webinar with Dr. Cloud.

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.

https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud

Unlike in the distant past, we don’t really have a rite of passage to adulthood. Dr. Henry Cloud talks about how regardless of how many degrees you have, or how old you are, being an adult is not a guarantee on age or merit alone. So what is adulthood, and how do we get to it? You’ve probably met people that have made it far into their lives and still aren’t an adult yet. Dr. Cloud talks about what it means to be a responsible, independent adult. You may physically be an adult, but there are emotional, psychological and spiritual aspects to adulthood that you may need to grow in.

Written Question:I feel like fear is ruling my life right now. I can feel my life getting smaller and my dreams getting further away. How do I stop giving into fear? I find that my language around fear, the way I frame it, can feel very negative and avoidant, and I am prone to making excuses. I don't expect things to be perfect, but how can I feel more secure that things will work out?

Susan has discovered gaps in her memory most likely caused by childhood trauma. She asks Dr. Cloud to talk about dissociation. How can she get back in touch with her emotions? What does childhood trauma recovery look like?

Melanie has a sister that continues to belittle her and mischaracterize her as selfish when she’s setting boundaries. Her family doesn’t want to weigh in. When do you decide to stay away from a family member that won’t respect your boundaries?

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.
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Regrets are inevitable in this life and can bring us great sadness. Dr. Henry Cloud wants you to think differently about how you look at your regrets. When we talk about regret we’re talking about loss and the emotional pain that comes with that. What can really be helpful is letting regret show us what we don’t want to lose. The trouble is that guilt will accompany the regret and that can prevent you from mourning what you’ve lost. Dr. Cloud asks you to transform your normal reactions of guilt and badness to one of godly sorrow. When you think about what you’ll lose by not changing, real change can come forward.

Written question: I find myself stuck between this sense that I'm constantly striving for MORE and BETTER versus the idea that it might be healthier to accept what I've got, what I've accomplished, and the way things are. Why do I always feel like I want and need more? Does it ever end?

Marshall is working irregular hours and wants to add meaningful structure to his time to maintain his relationships and his work-life balance. Linda has an adult son that has been violent with her in the past. How can she mend her relationship with her son, and what role does she have to play in her grandchildren’s lives? Karissa is a pastor’s wife and a mentor. She wants to know how to stop internalizing others’ failures. She feels like she has failed when they fall short and it’s affecting her. 

Having trouble setting boundaries? Are you worried that boundaries go against your Christianity? Dr. Henry Cloud lays the foundation for how to build and maintain healthy boundaries that align with Christian principles. Check out the upcoming workshop and get discounted early bird pricing for a limited time. https://boundaries.me/myboundaries

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.

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Our life is driven by two key drives and they are often at odds with each other. Dr. Henry Cloud talks about how these two drives can be worked together. Drive number one is our need to connect and feel connected. The second drive is our aggression. When when we can merge these drives together it’s called drive neutralization and it will greatly improve your relationships and your performance. Written question: How do successful people think differently about outcomes? Sally needs help with an intrusive father that spreads rumors. Sarah has two boys going through crises and feels like her parenting skills are being criticized.

Having trouble setting boundaries? Are you worried that boundaries go against your Christianity? Dr. Henry Cloud lays the foundation for how to build and maintain healthy boundaries that align with Christian principles. Check out the upcoming workshop and get discounted early bird pricing for a limited time. https://boundaries.me/myboundaries

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.
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Loving someone and treating them with love are two different things. Dr. Henry Cloud reminds us of what we can do to be more proactive in our loving relationships. Written question: Do physical activities help people heal from trauma? Kerri is housing kids from a youth group and wants advice on how to help a traumatized 17 year old open up. Sarah feels like a crappy person and doesn't know why. What can do to get started unpacking these feelings? Margie is putting up simple boundaries and her in-laws cross them all the time. What is the right response when people cross your boundaries?

Having trouble setting boundaries? Are you worried that boundaries go against your Christianity? Dr. Henry Cloud lays the foundation for how to build and maintain healthy boundaries that align with Christian principles. Check out the upcoming workshop and get discounted early bird pricing for a limited time. https://boundaries.me/myboundaries

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.

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Changing your life is always a difficult task, but it’s nearly impossible without accepting personal responsibility. Dr. Henry Cloud gets into what you should and shouldn’t take responsibility for and how this awareness can transform your life and the options you have. Written question: Lately I feel like my attention and ability to focus is being stolen away from me. There are so many distractions, from email to messaging apps, and group chats, and social media, and all of the other notifications. Are we meant to be able to manage all of this communication? Jill is setting "healthy boundaries" but doesn't want to sacrifice helping the people she cares about. Tamars seeks advice on how to look at a failed dating relationship. Betty is having trouble with some new people at her church that are questioning her integrity and spirituality.

Having trouble setting boundaries? Are you worried that boundaries go against your Christianity? Dr. Henry Cloud lays the foundation for how to build and maintain healthy boundaries that align with Christian principles. Check out the upcoming workshop and get discounted early bird pricing for a limited time. https://boundaries.me/myboundaries

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice. 

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How do you stay positive when all of life is coming at you like work, kids, social issues, health problems etc? Dr. Henry Cloud discusses a key element that the mature possess and immature lack: being able to hold the good and bad together at the same time. Written question: Can you offer any advice or strategies to help me find my bearings and start moving forward with purpose and clarity? Connor is struggling with overreacting to his wife’s moods and wants to know how to be more centered. Written question: How does one deal with anxiety about their health? Kim is feeling overwhelmed by her New Year’s resolutions and doesn’t know which ones to prioritize. Melody has an adult son she's having trouble setting financial boundaries with.

Having trouble setting boundaries? Are you worried that boundaries go against your Christianity? Dr. Henry Cloud lays the foundation for how to build and maintain healthy boundaries that align with Christian principles. Check out the upcoming workshop and get discounted early bird pricing for a limited time. https://boundaries.me/myboundaries

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.

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One of the worst feelings you can have in a relationship is loneliness despite being in the presence of another person. Dr. Henry Cloud works through how this all too common problem can be resolved. He uses the example of “I, Thou” where both people in the relationship are showing up with attunement.  Written question: Is it better to have a counselor that didn't know you previously so as not to have biases? Jonathan wants to open up to others but doesn't know how to connect after a difficult divorce. Denise needs clarity on when boundaries are being misconstrued as a way to manipulate others. Chris is trying to rebuild trust with coworkers when trust was lost over a rumor. Mike's family is in crisis because of his debts and past behaviors. How can he reconcile with his wife?

Having trouble setting boundaries? Are you worried that boundaries go against your Christianity? Dr. Henry Cloud lays the foundation for how to build and maintain healthy boundaries that align with Christian principles. Check out the upcoming workshop and get discounted early bird pricing for a limited time. https://boundaries.me/myboundaries

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.

https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud

What you are capable of, what you are not capable of, and which one is true are all derived from how you perceive yourself within the context of the world and peoplearound you. Dr. Henry Cloud shares ways to expand how you look at yourself, what you’re capable of, and your relationships with what is outside you. Adrienne needs help dealing with a short tempered father. Lizzie doesn't know whether a romantic interest is safe after he withheld some important things from her. Donna is hoping for a Christmas miracle that thing will change in her family.

Having trouble setting boundaries? Are you worried that boundaries go against your Christianity? Dr. Henry Cloud lays the foundation for how to build and maintain healthy boundaries that align with Christian principles. Check out the upcoming workshop and get discounted early bird pricing for a limited time. https://boundaries.me/myboundaries

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.

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Dr. Cloud presents 10 tips to help individuals navigate through difficult times in a practical and actionable manner. He emphasizes the importance of seeking professional help when needed, but also offers self-care strategies to alleviate temporary distress. Key points include combating isolation, focusing on what's within one's control, setting boundaries, processing grief, challenging catastrophic thinking, practicing self-care (sleep, exercise, stress relief), taking breaks, and maintaining perspective. Dr. Cloud's approach combines cognitive, emotional, and physical aspects, recognizing that well-being is multifaceted. Through personal anecdotes and analogies, he encourages viewers to view challenges as temporary scenes in the broader narrative of life, emphasizing hope and resilience.

Nancy and her husband haven’t had contact with their son for 2 years. She needs help finding closure on this relationship for now.

Laura’s husband has ruined their financial future. She doesn’t know if the relationship is salvageable, and needs help in keeping her children safe from such recklessness.

Melanie and her brother used to be close. She thinks her sister-in-law might be jealous of their closeness. How can she figure out what’s causing the distance and mend the situation?

Kathy’s husband is in an alcohol recovery program. She still loves him very much despite all the problems in the past. She wants to work on their relationship, but his sponsor seems to think she’s part of the problem. How can she step back in a healthy way?

Dr. Henry Cloud wants to help you take back control of your time and energy. You'll learn powerful strategies to prioritize what matters, set healthy boundaries, and achieve your goals with less stress and more joy. Master Your Time, Master Your Life is a 2 hour workshop that will transform how you use your time. Go to https://www.boundaries.me/time to get a special offer on the upcoming workshop!

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.

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How is it possible that your day to day life can heal you? Dr. Henry Cloud explains how specific but small changes in your day to day life can lead to big changes. Lauren asks Dr. Cloud how to grieve a friendship that's over. Erika is having trouble healing from financial trauma that's causing poor spending behaviors. Mandy was neglected by her mother and is still having trouble finding safe and meaningful way to connect with her.

Boundaries.Me Plus is on sale until of the end of the year! You can get a full year of access for 59% off the regular price! Go to https://bounaries.me/plus to find out more and get the deal before it goes away!
 
If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.
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The past is the best predictor of the future. Dr. Henry Cloud explains how patterns can be utilized to change your future. By looking at the past honestly we can begin altering our present actions. Mary needs help addressing her in-laws' toxic behavior. Andrea wants to know when it's the right to time to get exclusive in dating relationships. Dan has started a successful business and is getting regular jobs but needs help focussing on the foundation of the business itself.

Boundaries.Me Plus is on sale until of the end of the year! You can get a full year of access for 59% off the regular price! Go to https://bounaries.me/plus to find out more and get the deal before it goes away!
 
If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.
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Dr. Henry Cloud talks about why empathy is central to having deeper relationships than you have right now. The power of empathy is that it circles back to us. Dr. Cloud explains how as we listen to others and understand their feelings we will begin emotionally regulating ourselves. John is dating someone long distance and wants to know if there's a "right" way to do it. Sally had an affair a while ago and still feels shut out of the relationship. Ginger is trying to find peace after losing a sister she never fully reconciled with.

Boundaries.Me Plus is on sale until of the end of the year! You can get a full year of access for 59% off the regular price! Go to https://bounaries.me/plus to find out more and get the deal before it goes away!
 
If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.
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Dr. Cloud explains how relationship pain can linger in our lives even when the relationship is over for the right reasons. He lays out ways to start reconnecting with others and working on healthier attachments. Joie's 21 year old son is getting married this weekend and she hasn't met his fiancé yet. Cheryl's 22 year old son went through a bad break up and is literally losing his hair. Emily is having trouble moving on from her alcoholic ex-husband. Kris needs help drawing boundaries around household chores with her adult kids.

Boundaries.Me Plus is on sale until of the end of the year! You can get a full year of access for 59% off the regular price! Go to https://bounaries.me/plus to find out more and get the deal before it goes away!
 
If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.
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Welcome back to the Dr. Cloud Show! In this episode Dr. Henry Cloud talks about big obstacles and and small obstacles. How do you know which is which, and furthermore what kinds of tactics are you bringing to surmount them?

Callers:

Lori is having trouble managing a working relationship with an ex-husband she owns a business with. Jeremy has a 13 year old daughter that started dating and doesn't know where the line is with being overprotective. Therese went through a divorce and is wants to start trusting again, but she has misgivings about how she connect with dates when she doesn't have confidence.

Boundaries.Me Plus is on sale until of the end of the year! You can get a full year of access for 59% off the regular price! Go to https://bounaries.me/plus to find out more and get the deal before it goes away!

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.

https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud

If you've listened to Dr. Cloud before then you know how much he cares about time and energy. Around the holidays this is especially important. He talks about how to utilize your time and energy so that you're getting the most out of this special time of year. Kieran is trying to spend more time with his girlfriend but her sister is getting in the way. Alexis wants to make peace with her mom without getting manipulated in the process. Maron is feeling dating fatigue and wants to know if she's bringing too much or too little enthusiasm on her dates.

Boundaries.Me Plus is on sale until of the end of the year! You can get a full year of access for 59% off the regular price! Go to https://bounaries.me/plus to find out more and get the deal before it goes away!

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.

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The Dr. Cloud Show returns! In this episode Dr. Henry Cloud talks about how to get through the holidays with a smile on your face. He takes a call from Betsy who is looking to help her friends through difficulty in their marriage. Carol needs help setting boundaries around financially helping her adult daughter. And Colleen is having trouble with the spiritual aspects of joining a secular support group.

Boundaries.Me Plus is on sale until of the end of the year. You can get a full year of access for 59% off the regular price. Go to https://bounaries.me/plus to find out more and get the deal before it goes away!

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice. 

What is the psychology of becoming yourself? How is your identity formed? This is a deceptively layered question related not only to your past, but to your present and future. There is a concept here that’s important to understand: your true self, and your false self are not the same. We all understand who our true selves are, but our false selves are that person we show to the world out of fear, insecurity, or lack of understanding where we fit in. Sometimes, we lose track of who is who. Dr. Cloud delves into our need for acceptance, and love of who you truly are. We need to feel loved, not from within ourselves, but from outside ourselves in order to start the process of getting to our true identity. Are you so hung up in your past that you can’t get to the “why” of your life? This highlight will help you see where that “why” might be hiding.

Dr. Cloud's workshop The Stages of Faith is going live on April 3rd at 5pm PDT. Overcome your wounds, get unstuck, and reach the next level of your faith journey! It's on early bird pricing until March 12th. Go to https://boundaries.me/stages

CTA:  Go to https://www.boundaries.me/coach to get a week of free coaching, no credit card required. Just put in your email and we’ll send you the link!

In this third final mini session on difficult conversations Dr. Cloud talks about getting clear about the purpose you’re bringing to the conversation. What are you trying to do? Are you trying to win, trying to persuade, to convince, to show you are right? Or, are you trying to find a solution? When we come with the goal of finding a solution that works for both sides it becomes motivational. This is how we leave a conversation with real change on the horizon. When we transform the other person from an adversary to a partner, with a common goal, that's when we’re on the path to positive changes.

Get one week of free coaching videos from Dr. Cloud and boundaries.me! No strings attached! Just put in your email and we'll send you the videos!  https://www.boundaries.me/coach

In this highlight, Dr. Cloud goes into part two of his session on having a difficult conversation. This one is all about preparation. How do you bring your best and keep your fear in check when entering into a difficult conversation? First, you have to have a difficult conversation with yourself. What splinter is stuck in your finger? We have to take that splinter out before we go into the conversation. Sometimes we do that by talking with someone that isn’t involved in the situation to bleed off that frustration. Taking air out of the balloon first is critical. Secondly, we need to take some time beforehand to get clear about what outcome we want. Third, we need to practice it or even write a script to keep on topic during that conversation. And last, start with the end-goal in mind by affirming the relationship and bring loving positive energy to it.

Get one week of free coaching videos from Dr. Cloud and boundaries.me! No strings attached! Just put in your email and we'll send you the videos!  https://www.boundaries.me/coach

Our upcoming workshop on Codependency is on sale through February 15th! Go to https://boundaries.me/breakfree to sign up and get more details.

Dr. Cloud explores the idea that achieving anything of value in life requires doing things we don't want to do. He draws from personal experiences, such as pulling an all-nighter to meet a book deadline, and uses relatable examples like losing weight or building a successful marriage. Dr. Cloud emphasizes that embracing this mindset – that discomfort and effort are necessary for growth – is crucial. He touches on parenting styles that may inadvertently shield children from struggles, preventing them from developing grit. Overall, the talk encourages viewers to reframe their perspective on challenges, seeing them not as obstacles but as opportunities for personal development and ultimately creating a life of value.

In a written question, Dr. Cloud examines the "backfire effect" where people become more entrenched in beliefs when presented with conflicting evidence. He suggests first understanding why the issue matters to the other person - the stakes involved. Emotions also play a key role - hear their feelings before diving into differing perspectives. Dr. Cloud states differing viewpoints often stem from different perceived solutions to shared underlying goals. He advises separating the person from their position by acknowledging emotions and finding alignment on higher-level values first. He cautions that some topics incite too much emotion for productive dialogue. The desire for autonomy can trigger defensiveness when people feel controlled. He presents strategies like avoiding controlling language, finding common ground, and sometimes disengaging from unproductive debates. His analysis provides a framework for navigating the psychology behind these difficult conversations when beliefs clash.

Vanessa and her husband have gone no contact with his parents. She wants advice on how to support her husband through this situation.

Josh wants to pursue an advanced degree in addiction counseling. He feels like he’s being called from God to do it. How do you know when you’re getting a calling from God?

Dr. Henry Cloud wants to help you take back control of your time and energy. You'll learn powerful strategies to prioritize what matters, set healthy boundaries, and achieve your goals with less stress and more joy. Master Your Time, Master Your Life is a 2 hour workshop that will transform how you use your time. Go to https://www.boundaries.me/time to get a special offer on the upcoming workshop!

If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice.

https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud

This is part one of a short series on how to have difficult conversations. In this highlight Dr. Cloud talks about an important skill to build before having a difficult conversation. In this session, he talks about how to create safe space for conversations that could explode. There are a few major issues that arise in difficult conversations: fight, flight or freeze. Dr. Cloud shares ways to make the conversation psychologically safe for the other person. A psychologically safe space is where both sides can share their feelings and thoughts without worry. Without this crucial first step, a successful conversation is highly unlikely.

Our upcoming workshop on Codependency is on sale through February 15th! Go to https://boundaries.me/breakfree to sign up and get more details.

Get one week of free coaching videos from Dr. Cloud and boundaries.me! No strings attached! Just put in your email and we'll send you the videos!  https://www.boundaries.me/coach

In this highlight from the show, Dr. Cloud talks about how we hold ourselves back internally from being who we want to be, or doing what we want with our lives. As children we are kept on short leashes and as we become adults it can be extremely difficult to accept our freedom. No one is holding the leash anymore, but in our heads it’s still there. As long as we keep these mental leashes in our minds, our lives will stay very small. You might associate leash with a comfort zone, and that’s definitely one big  reason that growing is so difficult. Dr. Cloud talks about how we can undo these mental leashes so that we can and start exploring our lives with greater freedom to do things we’ve set out to do.

Get one week of free coaching videos from Dr. Cloud and boundaries.me! No strings attached! Just put in your email and we'll send you the videos!  https://www.boundaries.me/coach

In this highlight from the show, Dr. Cloud talks about love and limits. One of the more difficult things about loving others is that we make ourselves vulnerable. Codependency easily arises in relationships when we fear losing love and enable bad behavior to prevent that love from leaving. The question then is whether we’re loving them fully when we don’t set limits around bad behavior. Dr. Cloud argues that in fact love and limits working in tandem are required in order for healthy love. Limits provide the structures by which love can grow and thrive. Where confusion arises is when love is withheld unless expectations are met, or limits are broken.

Dr. Cloud's next workshop is called The Path. The Path is a life-changing online workshop that will teach you how to accomplish anything from New Year's Resolutions to your daily goals to your biggest and boldest dreams. If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more about it go to https://Boundaries.me/path

 
Get one week of free coaching videos from Dr. Cloud and boundaries.me! No strings attached! Just put in your email and we'll send you the videos!  https://www.boundaries.me/coach

In celebration of 5 years of Boundaries.Me, we are hosting an open house October 17-31! All of our courses, coaching, and community are available for free during this time, with no credit card and no purchase required. Visit http://www.boundaries.me/openhouse to join us.

In this highlight from the show, Dr. Cloud talks about one sure fire way to ruin relationships: Fairness. Why would fairness ruin all of our relationships? Because it requires perfection, and none of us can live up to that. This applies to all of our relationships, not just our closest relationships. We must give grace to get grace. To improve problematic situations in relationships we have to rise above the issues and find solutions or we’ll only make things worse.

Dr. Cloud's next workshop is called The Path. The Path is a life-changing online workshop that will teach you how to accomplish anything from New Year's Resolutions to your daily goals to your biggest and boldest dreams. If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more about it go to https://Boundaries.me/path

Get one week of free coaching videos from Dr. Cloud and boundaries.me! No strings attached! Just put in your email and we'll send you the videos!  https://www.boundaries.me/coach

In this highlight, Dr. Cloud talks about something all of us are guilty of: avoiding pain. The psychologist RD Laing said, “There is a great deal of pain in life and perhaps the only pain that can be avoided is the pain that comes from trying to avoid pain.” Avoiding pain is a prescription for more pain. Dr. Cloud shares ways to address pain with less fear, and stop avoiding pain.

Dr. Cloud's next workshop is called The Path. The Path is a life-changing online workshop that will teach you how to accomplish anything from New Year's Resolutions to your daily goals to your biggest and boldest dreams. If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more about it go to https://Boundaries.me/path

Get one week of free coaching videos from Dr. Cloud and boundaries.me! No strings attached! Just put in your email and we'll send you the videos!  https://www.boundaries.me/coach

You’ll constantly hear about two main areas to improve on in your life: the physical and the metaphysical. But that’s not the whole story. In fact, it’s missing a HUGE part of our lives–the third leg of the stool if you will. In no particular order there are three areas we  we need to maintain and improve on in our lives. One is our physical bodies. Next we have our metaphysical side (our thoughts, moods, spirit etc.). And third we have who we are connected with, our relationships. Having strong and supportive connections in your relationships or conversely having relationships that are lacking in some area will make as big an impact in your life as the other two areas. Are you working on all three legs of the stool today, or ever? All three require your effort and attention.

In celebration of 5 years of Boundaries.Me, we are hosting an open house October 17-31! All of our courses, coaching, and community are available for free during this time, with no credit card and no purchase required. Visit http://www.boundaries.me/openhouse to join us.

Dr. Cloud's next workshop is on Healing Parental Wounds. In this 2-hour live streaming webinar Dr. Cloud will help you identify your parental relationship injuries, understand how to face them, and give you the practical tools and advice you need to grow past your suffering. If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more about it go to https://Boundaries.me/parental

Get one week of free coaching videos from Dr. Cloud and boundaries.me! No strings attached! Just put in your email and we'll send you the videos!  https://www.boundaries.me/coach

In this highlight from the show, Dr. Cloud presents us with a seeming paradox of growth: developing new abilities and meeting challenges involves struggle. Trees need wind in order to stay standing–they need the stress of wind to stimulate the growth of deeper roots. It’s a parallel that applies to us humans too. Good stress fosters growth. Just like we need resistance to grow muscles, we need metaphysical challenges to grow spiritually and mentally. Not only do we need to change the way we see challenges, but we also need to stop rescuing people, especially our kids, from each and every   challenge to bring about resilience and growth.

Dr. Cloud's next workshop is on Healing Parental Wounds. In this 2-hour live streaming webinar Dr. Cloud will help you identify your parental relationship injuries, understand how to face them, and give you the practical tools and advice you need to grow past your suffering. If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more about it go to https://Boundaries.me/parental

Get one week of free coaching videos from Dr. Cloud and boundaries.me! No strings attached! Just put in your email and we'll send you the videos!  https://www.boundaries.me/coach

In this highlight from the show, Dr. Cloud talks about how and why we procrastinate and gives us some deceptively simple ways to address it. It starts with shrinking the task. Because the things we are putting off doing are always overwhelming in some way, the key is in breaking it down to one simple thing you can do. It’s not that you lack the ability to do the thing you’re avoiding, it’s just that you aren’t moving. Your emergency brake is engaged. Get that parking brake off, pop that tiny hole in the balloon, start the “leak” in that task and you’re off and running.

Dr. Cloud's next workshop is on Healing Parental Wounds. In this 2-hour live streaming webinar Dr. Cloud will help you identify your parental relationship injuries, understand how to face them, and give you the practical tools and advice you need to grow past your suffering. If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. Discounted pricing is available until October 9th. To find out more about it go to https://Boundaries.me/parental

Get one week of free coaching videos from Dr. Cloud and boundaries.me! No strings attached! Just put in your email and we'll send you the videos!  https://www.boundaries.me/coach

Starting on a successful path of growth requires having a good accountability partner. So what makes for a good accountability partner? Dr. Cloud goes through a short checklist of what to seek out and what to avoid in our candidates. 

Dr. Cloud's next workshop is on Healing Parental Wounds. In this 2-hour live streaming webinar Dr. Cloud will help you identify your parental relationship injuries, understand how to face them, and give you the practical tools and advice you need to grow past your suffering. If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more about it go to https://Boundaries.me/parental

Get one week of free coaching videos from Dr. Cloud and boundaries.me! No strings attached! Just put in your email and we'll send you the videos!  https://www.boundaries.me/coach

Dr. Cloud's next workshop is on Healing Parental Wounds. In this 2-hour live streaming webinar Dr. Cloud will help you identify your parental relationship injuries, understand how to face them, and give you the practical tools and advice you need to grow past your suffering. If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more about it go to https://Boundaries.me/parental

Get one week of free coaching videos from Dr. Cloud and boundaries.me! No strings attached! Just put in your email and we'll send you the videos!  https://www.boundaries.me/coach

One of the most powerful treatments for ailments like anxiety and depression is to change how you’re talking to yourself. So much of our self-talk is happens automatically, especially when we’re stressed. Dr. Cloud talks about how to start replacing those critical voices with positive ones, not just on your own, but with the people you surround yourself with.

Ever feel like apologizing isn’t working? In this thought-provoking talk, Dr. Cloud delves into the art of offering a sincere and effective apology. He emphasizes that a genuine apology is a powerful tool for repairing and strengthening relationships. Dr. Cloud breaks down the essential components of a good apology, including expressing empathy, taking ownership without making excuses, acknowledging the consequences, and committing to preventing future occurrences. He also highlights the importance of understanding the other person's perspective and addressing their hurt feelings, rather than focusing solely on one's own guilt or justifications. With his insights, Dr. Cloud provides a framework for navigating the complexities of apologizing authentically and restoring trust and connection.

Alex’s father is moving to her town and wants to start having a relationship with her again. The problem is that her dad is a toxic person and a narcissist who blew up his family by having an affair. How can she get better at saying no to a toxic father?

Dr. Henry Cloud wants to help you take back control of your time and energy. You'll learn powerful strategies to prioritize what matters, set healthy boundaries, and achieve your goals with less stress and more joy. Master Your Time, Master Your Life is a 2 hour workshop that will transform how you use your time. Go to https://www.boundaries.me/time to get a special offer on the upcoming workshop!

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We all want to be self confident but it’s often elusive. Dr. Cloud takes us through an introduction on how we acquire self confidence. Self confidence comes from trusting yourself and your actions. That’s hard to do when we doubt ourselves. Dr. Cloud brings it back to original sin, and the idea that we are able to judge like God does. When we commit to these types of self judgments we are no longer simply doing the thing in front of us, but also criticizing it in ways that cause anxiety, fear of failure and slew of other problems that trip us up. Self confidence comes from practice in the absence of judgment. Remember this, when you’re self confident, you’re never thinking about self confidence.

Dr. Cloud's "Getting Over Trauma" workshop is on August 30th at 5pm Pacific! Dr. Cloud will help you identify your traumatic injuries, and walk you through the steps necessary to get back to healthy functioning. If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more about it go to https://Boundaries.me/trauma.
 

Get one week of free coaching videos from Dr. Cloud and boundaries.me! No strings attached! Just put in your email and we'll send you the videos!  https://www.boundaries.me/coach

In this highlight from The Dr. Cloud Show: When we’re trying to get from point A to B in a relationship or with a goal, a critical factor is our time. Literally anything we want to improve on–an addiction, finances, raising children, learning a new skill–requires time and prioritization. How we use our time is obviously important, but it’s very easy to miss the reality of what we’re doing with it. That’s where the time audit comes in. When you learn where you’re actually spending your time doing,  you regain the opportunity to make decisions about how you’re using it. And that’s the key to the time audit: it clearly shows you where you’re spending your time, and where you can choose to spend it differently. It empowers you to make new and better decisions.

Dr. Cloud's "Getting Over Trauma" workshop is on August 30th at 5pm Pacific! Dr. Cloud will help you identify your traumatic injuries, and walk you through the steps necessary to get back to healthy functioning. If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more about it go to https://Boundaries.me/trauma.

Get one week of free coaching videos from Dr. Cloud and boundaries.me! No strings attached! Just put in your email and we'll send you the videos!  https://www.boundaries.me/coach

In this highlight from the podcast, Dr. Cloud discusses the old cliche about how your thinking determines your feelings. Does your thinking change your feelings? Do your feelings change your behavior? Does your behavior change your thinking? In short, yes, to all of these depending on what you need to address. It might not be intuitive. You might be feeling anxious, and you know that changing your thinking will change how you’re feeling, but good luck! We often find that with anxiety, we need to change behavior first in order to change our thinking which in turn changes how we’re feeling, as one quick example. Dr. Cloud discusses how it’s often not one formula that’s going to get you to the solution and provides some useful illustrations on how this all works.

Dr. Cloud's "Getting Over Trauma" workshop is on August 30th at 5pm Pacific! Dr. Cloud will help you identify your traumatic injuries, and walk you through the steps necessary to get back to healthy functioning. If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more about it go to https://Boundaries.me/trauma.
 

Get one week of free coaching videos from Dr. Cloud and boundaries.me! No strings attached! Just put in your email and we'll send you the videos!  https://www.boundaries.me/coach

Achieving the ideals in life–feeling good, having great relationships, and accomplishing goals–is something that all of us want. It’s funny that so many of us struggle with this right? So often the first crucial step is missing. You have to focus on the inside. Seeking internal growth is required to see the changes we want come into existence. Dr. Cloud asks: What path are you on to work on your internal growth?

Dr. Cloud's "Getting Over Trauma" workshop is on August 30th at 5pm Pacific! Get 20% off through August 20th! Dr. Cloud will help you identify your traumatic injuries, and walk you through the steps necessary to get back to healthy functioning. If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more about it go to https://Boundaries.me/trauma.

Get one week of free coaching videos from Dr. Cloud and boundaries.me! No strings attached! Just put in your email and we'll send you the videos!  https://www.boundaries.me/coach