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Ep. 159 It Takes A Village to Work with Anger (Anger Part Four)

dimanche 26 octobre 2025 • Durée 51:56

In this fourth and final episode of our anger series, we explore what happens when emotions are treated as private property—and how that belief keeps us isolated, performative, and disconnected.

We dive into the idea of toxic individualism—the cultural pressure to “handle your emotions alone”—and how it shows up in colonized therapy models, workplace expectations, and even family dynamics. What would it look like instead to manage anger together—to create communities and workplaces that can hold, process, and transform emotion collectively?

Along the way, we share one of the most bizarre natural phenomena on Earth: China’s Qiantang River tidal bore—a massive wall of water that reverses the river’s flow. Communities have learned to face this force together, turning danger into shared wisdom. It’s a perfect metaphor for collective emotional management: when the tide rises, no one faces it alone.

🎙️ The Ben and Jamesa Podcast is where we explore the deep work of healing, leadership, and building connection in a world built for disconnection.

→ Learn about our coaching: www.benandjamesa.com

→ Download our Connection vs Control Starter Kit and receive our bi-weekly newsletter: https://www.benandjamesa.com/link-in-bio

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Ep, 158: The Neurobiology of Good Trouble: The No Kings Protest and Anger Part Three

dimanche 19 octobre 2025 • Durée 47:04

What happens in the brain when we rise up against injustice — and how can anger become a force for clarity, compassion, and creativity rather than destruction?

In this episode, Ben and Jamesa explore the neurobiology of “good trouble,” drawing from the wisdom of John Lewis, Greta Thunberg, and the No Kings protest to understand how anger can transform into courageous, values-driven action.

We look at what actually happens in the brain when we’re angry — from the amygdala’s rapid-fire alerts to the prefrontal cortex’s capacity for reflection — and how this energy can fuel moral courage, not reactivity.

Together we unpack:

How the fight-flight-freeze-fawn system processes anger
The difference between reactive, suppressed, and regulated anger
What neuroscience teaches us about turning outrage into action
Real-world examples of anger as a moral force for justice and connection

→ Tune in for a grounded, compassionate look at how we can harness anger as a tool for healing, leadership, and community change.

🎧 The Ben and Jamesa Podcast explores the deep work of healing, leadership, and building connection in a world built for disconnection.

→ Join our Patreon for insight-driven tools and practices to build authentic community and personal growth: https://www.patreon.com/c/BenandJamesa

→ Learn about our coaching: www.benandjamesa.com

→ Download our Connection vs Control Starter Kit: https://www.benandjamesa.com/link-in-bio

Support the show

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Ep. 157: Unrighteous Anger: Cockroaches, Narcissists, and Politicians (Anger Part Two)

dimanche 12 octobre 2025 • Durée 48:20

In Part Two of our series on anger, we get honest about what happens when anger stops being a tool for truth and starts becoming a trap. From the self-righteous outrage that fuels online culture to the quiet, corrosive resentment that poisons connection, we explore how ego, projection, and unhealed pain distort our sense of justice.

We also ask: why are narcissists and politicians so good at weaponizing anger—and what can we learn from that about our own patterns?

Join us for stories, laughter, and a few uncomfortable truths about the difference between clarity and control, anger and arrogance.

🎙️ The Ben and Jamesa Podcast is where we explore the deep work of healing, leadership, and building connection in a world built for disconnection.

→ Learn about our coaching: www.benandjamesa.com

→ Download our Connection vs Control Starter Kit to learn your control style and receive our bi-weekly newsletter: https://www.benandjamesa.com/link-in-bio

Support the show

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Ep. 156: The Art of Losing Your Sh!t (Anger Part One)

dimanche 5 octobre 2025 • Durée 54:18

Season 10 opens with fire. 🔥

In this episode of The Ben and Jamesa Podcast, Ben and Jamesa dive headfirst into the theme of anger—how it shows up in our relationships, our communities, and even in our healing. What begins as a lighthearted chat quickly turns into a mini therapy session, as Ben unpacks his own relationship with anger—with some help from Jamesa, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Thich Nhat Hanh, and James Baldwin.

Together they explore:

Why anger isn’t the enemy—it’s information.
How to notice what’s happening in your body before it erupts.
The difference between managing anger and suppressing it.
What healthy anger looks like in professional and personal spaces.

This is Part One of a four-part series that invites us all to rethink anger—not as something to fix, but as something that can guide us toward truth, justice, and connection.

🎙️ The Ben and Jamesa Podcast explores the deep work of healing, leadership, and building connection in a world built for disconnection.

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Ep. 155: Jimmy Kimmel, Black Jobs, and Openhearted Living Part 4

mercredi 24 septembre 2025 • Durée 45:15

Late-night host Jimmy Kimmel is back on air—but what about the 300,000+ Black women who have lost jobs since January 2025 and haven’t been given theirs back? In Part 4 of our Open-Hearted Living series, we hold space for this reality while also lifting up communities that are demonstrating what open-hearted living can look like in practice.

From grassroots initiatives to workplaces and neighborhoods built on care and connection, we explore how people are building life-giving alternatives to a world dominated by profit and exclusion.

🎙️ The Ben and Jamesa Podcast is where we explore the deep work of healing, leadership, and building connection in a world built for disconnection.

→ Join our Patreon for insight-driven tools and practices to build authentic community and personal growth: https://www.patreon.com/c/BenandJamesa

→ Learn about our coaching: www.benandjamesa.com

→ Download our Connection vs Control Starter Kit and sign up for our bi-weekly newsletter: https://www.benandjamesa.com/link-in-bio

Support the show

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Ep. 154: Do We Need to Have Empathy? (Openhearted Living Part 3)

mercredi 17 septembre 2025 • Durée 43:53

What does it mean to truly feel with someone else? In this episode of The Ben and Jamesa Podcast, we explore empathy—not as a skill or a moral obligation, but as a living, sometimes fragile experience. We talk about how it grows across our lives, when it can feel heavy or conflicted, and how it connects—or sometimes fails to connect—to compassion. This episode is an invitation to notice your own experiences of empathy and to explore how connection shows up in both subtle and profound ways.

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Ep. 153: Is Fear Black and White? (Openhearted Living Part 2)

Saison 9

mercredi 10 septembre 2025 • Durée 44:55

Fear isn’t always what it seems. In this episode, we explore real vs. imagined fear, how it shows up in our nervous system, and how identity shapes the fears we live with. Stories from our life in Portugal, recent headlines, and listener letters help guide a conversation on moving from fear to freedom and living more openheartedly.

✨ Practical takeaways for noticing and working with fear in your own life.

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Ep.152: Openhearted Living (and White Folks) – Part 1

mercredi 3 septembre 2025 • Durée 41:16

In this episode, we explore why living with an open heart can feel impossible—especially for white folks—and what it might take to shift toward more connection, presence, and curiosity in daily life.

We talk about:

What it truly means to live open-heartedly
The challenges whiteness and control culture create in staying open
Fear, vulnerability, and the tension between safety and openness
Small, practical ways to practice open-heartedness at home and at work

We also share our nature fact of the week about lodgepole pine cones and fire, reflecting on how disruption can open space for new growth, and announce our upcoming Mindfulness and Compassionate Living Group starting this October!

Join us as we explore the messy, challenging, and deeply rewarding work of opening our hearts to life, connection, and growth.

📲 Follow us on Instagram: @benthecurious + @slowhealingwithjamesa
💌 Subscribe to our newsletter: www.benandjamesa.com

🎙️ Join our Patreon: for self-paced personal growth, insight, and workplace transformation
🔁 Share this episode with someone ready to rethink what it means to live open-heartedly

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Ep. 151: 5 Things Men Misunderstand About Love

Saison 9

mercredi 27 août 2025 • Durée 43:58

Love isn’t just desire, provision, or possession—yet too often that’s what men are taught to believe. In this episode, we dive into 5 Things Men Don’t Understand About Love, drawing from the wisdom of bell hooks, James Baldwin, and John Makransky.

We explore why love requires vulnerability, accountability, and daily practice—and why true love is always liberation, not control. This isn’t about shaming men, but about breaking free from harmful myths and discovering what real, connected love can look like.

✨ What you’ll hear in this episode:
• The difference between desire, possession, and love
• Why vulnerability is the heart of intimacy
• How love is a daily practice, not just a feeling
• Why accountability matters in relationships
• How love frees us rather than controls us

🎙️ The Ben and Jamesa Podcast is where we explore the deep work of healing, leadership, and building connection in a world built for disconnection.

→ Join our Patreon for tools + practices: https://www.patreon.com/c/BenandJamesa

→ Coaching + resources: www.benandjamesa.com

→ Free Connection vs Control Starter Kit: https://www.benandjamesa.com/link-in-bio

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Ep. 150: What is Control Culture

Saison 9

mercredi 20 août 2025 • Durée 46:42

Control culture is everywhere—at work, in our relationships, even in how we treat ourselves. But what exactly is it, and how does it quietly shape the way we live, lead, and connect with others?

In today’s episode, we unpack the hidden ways control culture shows up in our lives and explore what it looks like to move toward connection instead. This is the first step in learning how to build workplaces and communities that thrive on trust, accountability, and real humanity.

🎙️ The Ben and Jamesa Podcast is where we explore the deep work of healing, leadership, and building connection in a world built for disconnection.

Resources & Links:
→ Join our Patreon for tools and practices to build authentic community and personal growth: https://www.patreon.com/c/BenandJamesa

→ Learn about our coaching: www.benandjamesa.com

→ Download our Connection vs Control Starter Kit to discover your control style and receive our bi-weekly newsletter: https://www.benandjamesa.com/link-in-bio

Call to Action:
If today’s episode helped you name some of the ways control culture shows up in your life, share it with a friend or coworker who might need to hear it. And don’t forget to follow the podcast so you don’t miss Part Two of this series.

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