Welcome to The Autism Mums Podcast — a supportive space for parents and carers navigating life with autistic children.
We’re your hosts, Victoria and Natalie, two sisters raising autistic children. We know the joy, the overwhelm and the thousand tiny moments no one else quite gets. That’s why we created this podcast - to offer a safe space, a sense of community, and some gentle encouragement along the way.
In each episode, we’ll bring you honest conversations, shared strength, and expert insights to support your journey. Whether you're celebrating a win, managing a meltdown, or just trying to get through the day, you’ll find real talk and real understanding here.
You can expect mum to mum chats, practical tips, mini solo moments and conversations with experts.
Whether you’re new to this journey or deep in the day-to-day, we see you and we’re walking this path with you.
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Données mises à jour le 05/11/2026
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Encore: Is School the Only Option? Understanding EOTAS for SEND Families with Lauren Vermeulen
Épisode 85
mardi 3 novembre 2026 • Durée 29:30
We've been hearing from so many mums in our community lately who are struggling with school and the different options, so we wanted to bring this incredibly important conversation with Laura Vermeulen back to the top of your feed.
If your child is struggling to attend school, you might be wondering what the options are. In this week's episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we welcome back Lauren Vermeulen from Victory-us to talk about EOTAS (Education Otherwise Than At or In School).
Biography
Lauren is the founder of Victory-us, an independent SEND Teacher - supporting, empowering and providing EOTAS to send children. Lauren has taught in a variety of schools and SEND provisions, leading emotional regulation, behaviour support trainings and PSHE. She has expertise in supporting children with bespoke and tailored learning and mental health support, to ensure children flourish on education otherwise than at school. She now supports children their families who can’t access school and need tailored support.
Key Takeaways
EOTAS stands for Education Otherwise Than At or In School. It is specifically for children who hold an EHCP - this is what sets it apart from elective home education. When a child has an EHCP and cannot be educated in a school setting, the responsibility for funding and meeting that child's needs sits with the local authority, not the parent.
EOTAS is not the same as home education. If your child has an EHCP and you are educating them at home, the local authority still has a legal duty of care - and that includes funding. The LA must ensure all of Section F is being met.
Getting EOTAS agreed can be a lengthy process. Local authorities are required to work through a list of provisions under Section 61 before EOTAS can be agreed - from mainstream, to resource bases, to specialist and independent schools, to online provision. This is why having a well-written EHCP that accurately reflects your child's needs is so important from the start.
EOTAS is not just a tutor. A proper EOTAS package should address all of Section F - educational, health, and care needs. Emotional regulation, OT, SALT, therapy, and community access can all be part of the package, not just academic learning.
Positive evidence matters. When building a case for EOTAS, it's not just about what isn't working - it's about evidencing what does. Is your child engaging with an online platform? A tutor? An activity based on their special interest? All of this counts.
Section 19 is a different but related route. If your child cannot attend school for health reasons (including emotional school-based avoidance), and has had 15 or more consecutive days out of school, Section 19 may apply - even without an EHCP. It's intended to be temporary, but it can be a valuable window to collect evidence of what works.
The goal of EOTAS is holistic, not just academic. Lauren challenges the idea that education means the national curriculum. Life skills, emotional regulation, self-advocacy, sensory needs, and community access are all valid - and essential - parts of a child's education.
EOTAS can and should be reviewed regularly. Families should expect six-weekly check-ins with the LA, as well as annual review. If the LA identifies a school placement, parents are not obligated to accept it - as long as they can evidence why it would be less suitable than the current provision.
You don't have to figure out the package alone. Lauren works with families to design bespoke EOTAS packages built around the child's interests, needs, and outcomes - starting with what the child loves and working backwards from there.
Mentioned in This Episode
MindJam — Emotional and SEN support for young people through gaming, game design and digital skills
Kiwi STEM Boxes — subscription-based learning activity boxes referenced in the context of EOTAS packages
Half-term brings its own kind of pressure, even before Halloween enters the picture. In this episode, Victoria and Natalie talk about what happens when routine disappears for a week, Halloween itself, what the holidays are 'supposed' to look like, and building a version that actually works for your family.
Key Takeaways
Half-term can bring anxiety even when a child is genuinely excited to be off school
Halloween costumes and face paints can feel uncomfortable
A visual timetable can help make an unstructured week far easier to manage
Keeping a simple record of appointments, meetings and behaviour patterns can be helpful to use as evidence for diagnosis, EHCPs and panel reviews
Quiet downtime after an activity can help some children recover and regulate
Could Lymph Drainage Help Autistic Children and Their Families?
Épisode 83
mardi 20 octobre 2026 • Durée 27:10
In this episode, we’re joined by John Ossipinsky, known online as “The Lymph Man,” to talk about a part of the body most of us never think about, the lymphatic system. John has spent years studying how this network of vessels clears waste and inflammation, and he shares his take on how it might connect to the way our children feel, think and cope day to day. He covers posture, diet, deep breathing, and a simple shoulder exercise you can try at home.
Biography
John Ossipinsky, known as LymphMan, is a Lymphatic Health Coach and host of The Lymph-Brain Revolution Podcast. He’s spent over 30 years as a Certified Lymphedema Therapist, with advanced training in CranioSacral Therapy and Visceral Manipulation, helping thousands of clients improve their quality of life. In this episode he talks about how supporting the lymphatic system, movement and inflammation can help teens and adults on the autism spectrum feel more balanced.
Key Takeaways
The lymphatic system has no pump of its own, unlike the heart and blood. It relies on movement, posture and breathing to keep it flowing.
Poor posture and long periods on screens with the head down restrict lymph flow in the neck, something John says affects adults and children alike.
When the lymphatic system can’t clear cellular waste, it builds up as inflammation, which can show up anywhere in the body: skin, joints, brain.
Diet has a direct effect on lymph flow. A typical Western diet (meat, bread, white flour, sugar) is acid-forming, and acidity restricts the lymphatic system.
Small daily habits, deep breathing, movement, and what John calls the “Lymph Man Shoulder Shuffle”, can noticeably improve lymph flow in just a few minutes.
7 Mistakes Schools Make That Break an Autistic Child's Trust
Épisode 82
mardi 13 octobre 2026 • Durée 25:55
In this episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we're talking about the mistakes schools and professionals make that might seem small to them but can be enormous for autistic children and SEND families.
We share our own experiences of placements that worked and placements that broke down, including in specialist schools and alternative provisions where you'd expect staff to know better. We talk about what happens when promises aren't kept, when communication breaks down and when timelines drift, and why for some children, once trust is gone, there's no easy way back.
We also talk about why parents raise concerns early, why that isn't being overprotective, and what schools can do that same week when a parent says their child is close to not coming in.
Key Takeaways
Knowing the child before they arrive matters. Reading the EHCP and asking parents about likes, dislikes and triggers can make or break a placement
The first session counts. For many autistic children, one bad experience can lead straight to refusal
Keeping promises is essential to a child's sense of safety, and broken promises are rarely forgotten
You can ignore the behaviour, but you should never ignore the child. A child left alone in a shutdown can feel abandoned
Whatever caused a meltdown or shutdown needs addressing quickly, not days later
Ignoring requests for meetings or a child's anxieties is one of the fastest routes to placement breakdown
Clear timelines help anxious children. "Later" needs to mean a specific day and time
Schools don't get endless chances. With some autistic children it can be one strike, not three
Once a child says they're done, there's often no way back, so needs must be met much earlier
Children who mask or comply at school may be holding it together until they get home, so parents often see the full picture when staff don't
Parents aren't trying to be difficult. They're trying to stop the placement they fought for from breaking down
Placement breakdown is rarely sudden. It usually follows weeks, months or years of anxiety, broken trust and missed opportunities
What Schools Can Do When a Placement Is at Risk
Acknowledge the concern quickly
Mentioned in This EpisodeConnect with The Autism Mums
So, Now What? Life After Your Child's Autism or ADHD Diagnosis with Greer Jones
Épisode 81
mardi 6 octobre 2026 • Durée 26:04
Greer Jones, host of The Unfinished Idea podcast is back on the show. Since we last spoke she's launched the Beautifully Wired Summit, a free three-day online event for mums raising girls with ADHD and autism, and her first book, So, Now What? is out in November. We talk about:
The moment Greer realised she had ADHD herself
Why she wrote her book and decided to run a summit
And the benefits of breathwork
If you're at the start of this journey and feeling completely on your own, this one's for you.
About Greer Jones
Greer Jones is a speaker, writer and podcast host who is passionate about building understanding and connection in the neurodiverse world. As a mum raising an autistic and ADHD child, and part of a neurodivergent couple herself, she brings honesty, empathy and lived experience to her work. She is the creator of The Unfinished Idea podcast and online community, where she offers encouragement, practical tools and a reminder that no one has to walk this journey alone. Her story has been featured in podcasts, conferences and publications, inspiring families to embrace their unique path with hope and courage.
Key Takeaways
Girls and women with ADHD and autism are still being missed, and many mums only recognise their own neurodivergence after their child is diagnosed.
A diagnosis can bring relief as well as questions. For Greer, it was proof she wasn't "crazy", just wired differently.
Getting one answer about your child often leaves you with a hundred more questions. A broad overview can help before you go deep on any one topic.
"They're having a hard time, they're not trying to give me a hard time" helps parents respond rather than react during meltdowns.
Deep pressure, like a firm squeeze, can help some children regulate during a meltdown.
Breathwork is free, always available and backed by science on calming the nervous system.
Support packages often focus on the child and forget the parent. Mums need to be in the equation too.
Isolation is one of the hardest parts of raising a neurodivergent child, and community is what brings the light back in.
Celebrating wins, big or small, matters for children and parents alike.
Mentioned in this episodeConnect with Greer JonesConnect with The Autism Mums
Why School Isn't Working for Autistic Children with Pete Wharmby
Épisode 80
mardi 29 septembre 2026 • Durée 36:47
In this episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we're joined by autistic author, speaker and former teacher Pete Wharmby. We first saw Pete speak at the SEND protest in London, and we knew straight away we wanted him on the show.
Pete's latest book, Different Minds: How We Can Help Our Autistic School Children Thrive, looks at what school is really like for autistic children, and why so many of them are struggling. Drawing on his years in the classroom, his own school days and his experience as a parent of an autistic daughter, Pete talks about the inflexibility of mainstream school, from strict uniform rules to stationery checks, and why the problem lies with the system rather than with our children.
We also talk about masking, the signs that a child may be holding it together at school and paying for it at home, how masking can tip into burnout, and how Pete recognises burnout in himself as an adult. Pete shares his thoughts on lunchtimes and break times, why lockdown "broke the spell" of school for so many families, and the one idea he'd love every teacher to understand: the double empathy problem.
About Pete Wharmby
Pete Wharmby is an autistic author and speaker who was diagnosed as autistic at 34, and later with ADHD. He spent many years working as a teacher before turning his focus to autism and neurodiversity awareness and acceptance, after being shocked by the statistics around depression, anxiety and life expectancy for autistic people.
Pete now delivers talks, keynotes and training for schools, workplaces and organisations across education, health and justice. He is the author of What I Want to Talk About, Untypical and his latest book, Different Minds. He's also a parent to an autistic daughter.
Key Takeaways
Autistic children's struggles at school are not their fault, and school refusal is far more likely the less flexible the school environment is.
Mainstream school has become more rigid over the last 15 years, at the same time as awareness of neurodivergence has grown, creating a real clash for families.
Autistic children need flexibility around uniform, lunchtimes, homework and timetables, because every child's needs are different.
Mentioned in This EpisodeConnect with Pete WharmbyConnect with The Autism Mums
When School Feels Unsafe: Emotionally Based School Avoidance in Autistic Children
Épisode 79
mardi 22 septembre 2026 • Durée 27:47
In this episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we're talking about EBSA: emotionally based school avoidance, sometimes called school distress or school anxiety. It's a term most parents only come across once things are already really difficult, when mornings have become impossible, your child is melting down before school, or they're holding it together in the classroom and falling apart the moment they get home.
We share our own experiences of watching our children struggle to go in, the things we tried that didn't work (including being told, more than once, that maybe we were the problem), and what we've learned about supporting a child through it without forcing them over the threshold. We talk about why "school refusal" is the wrong way to think about it, what's really going on underneath, how to spot the signs before things reach crisis point, and what to do when mainstream school just isn't the right fit anymore.
If you're in the middle of that fog right now, wondering whether this is normal, whether you should be pushing them to go in, or whether you're somehow making it worse, this episode is for you.
Key Takeaways
EBSA stands for emotionally based school avoidance, also known as school distress or school anxiety
It's "can't", not "won't": a child avoiding school is communicating that something feels unsafe, not being defiant
Warning signs include meltdowns, shutdowns, physical complaints like headaches or stomach aches, and gradually increasing absences
Many autistic children mask at school and hold it together, then collapse once they're home, so "they seem fine once they're through the door" doesn't tell the full story
School can overwhelm autistic children through sensory overload, unpredictable transitions, and constant social demands
Physically pushing a reluctant child through the school gates can get them through the door, but it can damage trust without solving what's actually going on
Keeping a detailed log of patterns, symptoms and school communication helps build the evidence families need for meetings and referrals
Mentioned in This Episode
Settling in to School
Épisode 78
mardi 15 septembre 2026 • Durée 27:34
Another school year, another round of settling in, and if the excitement wore off around day two, you are not alone.
In this episode we get honest about what settling in to school really looks like for autistic children and their parents. Not the picture-book version, where everyone skips happily through the gates, but the version most of us actually live: the good days, the wobbly days, and the moments when the school says everything's fine and then your child falls apart the second they're back in the car.
We talk about masking, restraint collapse, and why settling in isn't a straight line, a supply teacher or a change to the timetable can undo weeks of progress. We also share the practical things that have helped in our own homes, from visual timetables and countdown timers to low-demand afternoons and communication books with school, plus how to know when it's time to ask for more support.
Key Takeaways
Settling in rarely looks like the picture-book version, and that's normal, not a sign you're doing something wrong
Settling can go backwards, a supply teacher, a change to the timetable, or a break like Christmas can undo weeks of progress
A school saying "they're fine" doesn't cancel out what you see at home, restraint collapse is real and often shows up with the people your child feels safest with
Visual supports, like timetables and countdown timers, remove uncertainty and can calm anxiety even for children who read and talk well
Low-demand afternoons matter more than a big welcome-home activity, most children just need space to decompress after school
Keeping a written record of what you're seeing, however small it feels at the time, builds the evidence you may need later for referrals or support
If home behaviours aren't shifting despite the visual supports and low-demand time, it's worth raising it properly with the teacher and the SENCo together
Don't forget your own wellbeing in all of this, you can't pour from an empty cup, and it's okay to lean on other parents going through the same thing
In this week’s episode of The Autism Mums Podcast we welcome Alex Richardson, ambassador for the National Autistic Society.
Biography
Alex Richardson is an ambassador for the National Autistic Society, a role he has held since 2018. Diagnosed with autism at five, Alex has become a passionate voice for autism awareness, sharing his life online.
Key Takeaways
Alex's parents trusted he would get there 'in his own way and his own time', and he credits this approach for his confidence today
When Alex first started going to watch the football his dad took him two hours early, to a quiet stand, to let the noise build up slowly around him, and now, years later, he no longer arrives early and doesn't sit in a quiet stand.
College was a really positive experience for Alex because he was accepted as 'just Alex.'
The shop Alex was too anxious to walk to as a child became his first part-time job
Alex has experienced festivals and venues becoming more accessible. Sensory tents and quiet camping are increasingly available, and Alex's own feedback helped bring quiet camping to a major festival
In this episode of The Autism Mums Podcast, we're talking about the new school year and everything that comes with it — for our children and for us.
We share where we both are right now: one of us with a youngest starting mainstream school for the very first time, the other with one child going back to specialist school for what could be a final year and another moving into an EOTAS package that nobody can yet describe. We talk honestly about the anxiety that starts building in mid-August, the dread of going back to the phone calls and the meetings, and the guilt that can come with feeling relieved that term is finally starting again.
We also get practical. We cover uniform and sensory sensitivities, easing sleep and routine back into place, social stories and settling-in visits, what decompression can look like after school, and how to prepare for those first conversations with school.
Whatever this time of year brings up for you, we hope this one helps you feel a little less alone.
Key Takeaways
Back to school can bring anxiety, dread, relief and guilt all at once, and every one of those feelings is valid
Feeling relieved that term is starting again doesn't make you a bad parent — it means you're human
The lack of routine and support over the holidays can be as hard on families as term time is
For some children, losing routine affects their eating and sleeping, and getting back to school is exactly what they need
Going back is rarely just going back — new classrooms, new teachers and new timetables all add to the load
Sending timetables or changes home at the end of term can backfire if there's nobody available to talk them through
Uniform can be a significant sensory barrier, and seamless socks, softer fabrics and cutting out labels can all help
Wearing new uniform and shoes at home before term starts spreads the change out instead of landing it all on day one
You can ask for reasonable adjustments to uniform if it's a genuine barrier to your child's education
Shifting bedtimes gradually in the weeks before term makes the first morning less of a shock
Social stories, settling-in visits and using the school site over the holidays can make a new school feel familiar
Podcast: Neurodivergent Conversations, available on all podcast platforms
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Meltdowns after school rarely come from nowhere; they're often the result of a day full of sensory and social stress.
Masking at school often carries on at home, so look for exhaustion, irritability, "blank positivity" about the day and a lack of detail.
Encouraging a child to stop masking completely at school can put them at risk, so the priority is giving them real downtime at home.
Masking can eventually give way to burnout, which can then lead to depression if it isn't recognised and supported.
Break times and lunchtimes are unstructured and can be the hardest part of the day for some autistic children.
Talking openly with children about autism helps them understand their own brains and make their own choices, such as when to socialise and when to rest.
For many autistic children, lockdown showed that school as we know it isn't inevitable, and many families have since chosen home education.
A child's enthusiasm for school is fragile, and once broken it is very hard to rebuild.
Autistic children respond to teachers who show humanity and can admit when they've got something wrong.
The double empathy problem means autistic and non-autistic people can misunderstand each other, and teachers, as the adults, should help bridge that gap.
A lack of eye contact or a direct way of speaking is not rudeness; it's often simply an autistic way of communicating.
Working with the school on genuine adjustments, and asking what's making school hard rather than how to get attendance up, changes the whole conversation
When mainstream school isn't right, alternatives like specialist provision, home education, online provision or EOTAS can be legitimate paths forward
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