The Art of Living Big | Subconscious | NLP | Mindset – Détails, épisodes et analyse

On todays episode Betsy takes you on a journey to discover the true path to get anything you want… and why it works!

Transcript:

Betsy [00:00:05]:
Welcome to the Art of Living Big podcast. My name is Betsy Pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the art of Living Big.

Betsy [00:00:35]:
Today I have, I have a really fun topic to talk about today, and it’s something that I have, I would suspect I did a podcast on this probably like five or six years ago, but I have been really, I’m going to say, like, diving into it recently. Orlando, you know how an idea will come, and although it is still a frame that you see the world through, you’re not as aware of it because it becomes like an unconscious habit, like an unconscious way of seeing the world. But sometimes it’s really helpful to bring those unconscious things into the consciousness so that we can refine them, really make them useful to us, make them something that is really prominent in our life. I think it’s sort of like when people say, I’m getting back to the basics, right? This is what I’m doing. I’ve been getting back to the basics. So I wanted to talk to you about it today because I think it can be so profound. If it’s something you already know about as a good reminder. Right.

Betsy [00:01:48]:
Or it will be like the greatest knowledge bomb that I’ve ever dropped. If you’ve never heard of this before, I know. And now you’re like, you’re like two minutes in Betsy. What the heck is it? So let me tell you. So the last couple episodes, I’ve sort of talked about how I have been really diving into an unconscious pattern that I’ve had and discovering what that is, I hired someone, a hypnotherapist, to be able to help me with that. And I’m walking through this process. I will tell you, and I know I’ve said this before, and there’s a reason why I say it, but let me say this. I have invested really heavily in myself over the years, and this year, probably the most heavily that I have ever invested in myself.

Betsy [00:02:41]:
The reason that I tell you that is because I would love for you to adopt the idea that you’re a sure thing. You know, sometimes we have things that come up in our lives, and we’re like, I want to take action on that. I want to shift that. I know I could get hypnosis but I don’t know if that would work for me. Like, I’m not sure I am a sure thing. If I am paying you to do something for me, I will suck every ounce of goodness out of that that I can. I will ask for help when I need it. I will do whatever it is people tell me to do.

Betsy [00:03:20]:
If I hire them and I choose them, then I will listen and I will do the thing. And this is how come I always say, like, I’m a sure thing. I’m a sure bet. And when I say this, I don’t mean this in a small way. Like, I don’t know how to tell you how much I’ve invested in myself this year without saying it’s. It’s almost, it’s almost six figures. So intense amount of importance I have put on moving past my own blocks and moving into the next level of what’s there for me. And the reason why is because I have a vision, and I know that there’s a reason that that vision was taking me so long.

Betsy [00:04:01]:
I was like, okay, I’m done. Like, sitting on my thinking chair every day and, like, thinking about it, like, what is really holding me back? And I think I’ve done, I mean, I have absolutely done a lot of work over the last ten years to move past things, but this year I got really aggressive. I was like, yep, we’re not playing. The moment that I notice something, I am like a dog on a bone. I’m like, ooh, I notice a piece of resistance and I’m going to talk about that. I notice where I, I’m allowing myself to drop down to a frame of mind that is not helpful to get me where I want to go. I am all about you shifting your goal. If you decide that your goal needs to be shifted, if you have a vision for what you want your life to be like, and then you’re like, ah, you know, I thought I wanted to go to the beach, but now I don’t really think I’d want to live full time at the beach.

Betsy [00:04:57]:
Now I think it looks different. Absolutely. Shift your goal. But I never want you or me to shift my goal because I can’t get to where I want to go. I never want to, like, dummy it down and say, well, I guess that’s just not available to me. I don’t believe that. I really, really don’t. And so one of the things that I want to teach you today is about the thing that is really going to make the difference for you for the rest of your life.

Betsy [00:05:29]:
So even if you were like, I don’t know, you know, I would never invest that much myself, which, I mean, I get it. Or if you’re like, I don’t know how to find the things that need to be shifted, you know, there is some learning that needs to go on. Like, I totally get it. Even if you never learn any of that, if you learn this, you will move so much faster, you will have so much more joy. And by moving faster, I’m going to come back to that. But you will have so much joy. You will enjoy your life. You will feel like it is a life that has felt worth living.

Betsy [00:06:10]:
The day that you are an old lady or an old man and you’re laying in bed with all of your family and friends around you and you are about to transition, you will be like, I did it. I lived the best life that I could just by doing this one thing. I know, I know. This is exciting, right? What the heck am I going to tell you? Okay, so let me tell you. But before I do tell you, I want to go back to the whole moving faster. When I say moving faster, I do not mean not being present and appreciating where you are. I don’t want you to think that. I mean, the best part is way out there and you’ve got to hustle and keep going.

Betsy [00:06:50]:
That is not what I mean. What I mean by moving faster is I believe that we have to feel like we are experiencing greatness and that we’re really content in that moment and we’re reaching for more. And if we feel like we’re stuck or we’re stagnant, then we don’t have that feeling of being really content where we are and reaching for more. Do you feel the difference in that? So I want to make that distinction by moving faster, I just mean all the little things that you want to experience in the present moment, you’re not only experiencing, but you’re able to recognize because you are being present. Right? You know, a couple years ago, I posted, and I think I posted this on Instagram. And in fact, I bet I did a whole podcast about it. But I typically will take one vacation a year by myself. It’s like a long weekend and it’s a meditation weekend.

Betsy [00:07:49]:
I go to the beach, I get an oceanfront room, and I sit. I don’t get on my phone, although usually I do give updates on Instagram stories because that brings me joy. But I don’t. I’m not like, on TikTok, like, I am present I’m listening for what it is that I need to hear. I might be thinking about the things that. That are causing me unhappiness or distraction or the things that might be troubling me. I’ll journal. I’ll really listen in.

Betsy [00:08:24]:
And what always happens on those weekends is I get these really wild moments of extreme clarity where I almost feel like there’s a voice. Like a voice. It’s not outside of me, but it’s in my head, but it’s so clear and not necessarily something that sounds like me. Do you know what I mean? And I’ve had these times where I’ve been on my meditation events and my own little private meditation retreats, and I’ll wake up in the middle of the night with a sound, like a quote, an idea. And I remember one time in particular. I actually went to Daytona beach, and I was staying at that Hilton right there that’s, like, you know, right on the ocean. And it was the middle of the night, and I woke up with this really great thought. And I thought, oh, that’s good.

Betsy [00:09:20]:
I’ll remember that. And then that little voice said, no, you won’t write it down. And so I did. So I was like, okay. And what it was was who we choose to be in every moment is who we get to be. I actually had to go back to my instagram way back. When was this? 2019? Yeah. April 21, 2019.

Betsy [00:09:47]:
Who we choose to be in every moment is who we get to be. I know this sounds so, like, yeah, duh. But who we choose, you get to choose how you’re being. And I know so many times, we’re like, eh, that’s just how I am. No, like, who we choose to be in every moment is who we get to be. If you want to be somebody different, you want to live a different life, you want to have new experiences, you get to choose, but it happens in that moment. So when I say moving faster, being present but choosing so that you’re moving faster towards who you want to be, in fact, you get to be it right away, even if outside circumstances don’t yet reflect it. I already am somebody that you haven’t seen yet.

Betsy [00:10:39]:
She’s just that my physical experience has got to catch up with me. But, dang, it’s good. I can’t wait for you to see. Okay, so, let’s talk about this. What am I talking about, and what is it that I want to share with you today? So, I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of Doctor David Hawkins. So, Doctor David Hawkins has written numerous books. There’s a really great book called letting Go, if you’ve never read that. And it’s really just about giving up resistance, you know, stopping resisting what is and accepting what is.

Betsy [00:11:10]:
And in that book, he talks about a map of consciousness. So he created this map of consciousness. In fact, he has another book that he has where he just talks about this specifically. It’s called the map of consciousness explained. I think you could read that book, but I think it would make more sense maybe if you read the other book first. But the map of consciousness explained when I read that, I mean, it’s a thick book, and a lot of times I hear people say, like, it’s dense. Do you know what I mean by that? Like, there’s a lot to me like that. It made so much sense to me.

Betsy [00:11:49]:
So inside this map of consciousness is a really, he has layers of our consciousness, and he discovered these by, and put them together using muscle testing. And then he talks about them and sort of breaks them down. In that book, basically, if I were to break down like this, this map of consciousness, it is layers of emotions from lowest to highest. So if you could think of like guilt or shame, being really low on this levels of consciousness, higher levels of consciousness would be love and joy and acceptance. And so he’s got all these different layers to this map of consciousness. I’m going to explain this to you in a second in an easier way, but I wanted to introduce this map of consciousness first. Basically, what Doctor Hawkins is saying is that people vibrate. And I’m sorry if this is getting a little woo woo, but I’m going to come back to this, okay? But people vibrate at a certain level.

Betsy [00:12:59]:
You’ve probably heard, like, what’s your emotional home? Where do you go? So somebody hurts your feelings, where do you go? Do you go to anger? Do you go to be feeling hurt? Do you go to sadness? Do you go to shame? Like, where do you go? So sort of like your emotional set point if something happens. But then where do you spend most of your day? And you’ve probably met people, you know, that are pretty pessimistic, right? They always kind of see the, I’m gonna say, like the harsh side of things. Nothing is good or bad. It just is, okay? So I don’t want you to think, obviously, we would love to be living in love and abundance, all of that, and not in shame. I think you could probably put a good or bad label on that, but I want you to stay away from it just for this experience. But the top of the scale, right? It’s going to be joy and knowledge and empowerment and freedom, love, right? Kind of in the middle is like optimism, feeling hopeful or content, even boredom, frustration, that’s sort of in the middle. And at the bottom of the scale is going to be more of that, like fear and grief and despair, feeling powerless. Okay, keep that one in mind.

Betsy [00:14:18]:
Okay. So he created this level of consciousness to kind of see where people are vibrating. Now, when I say vibrating, when I say that, what I really mean is, you know, when you walk into a room and you’re like, ooh, I can just tell everybody’s upset in the room. Do you know what I mean? Like, there’s nothing happening. You can just feel it. To me, that’s a vibration, right? There’s something, I just know it. It is a sense that we don’t talk about, right? We talk about hearing and smelling and tasting and all of those things. But that sense, right? That sense of just knowing, it’s a gut feeling.

Betsy [00:14:58]:
Like, I just have a gut feeling about stuff. I think that is our vibration. Now, where does our vibration come from? I think it comes from something unconscious. It’s from our unconscious view of the world or of our situation. So consciously I might be like, yeah, I mean, I’m having a fine day, but unconsciously, where do I go when something happens? I saw somebody post something the other day, and you’ve probably seen this, I’ve seen it a million times over the years. But it’s, if you’re walking down the hall with a cup of hot coffee and somebody hits you, what happens? Does what spills out of your cup, like coffee spills out of your cup? Is it because they hit you? It’s not because they hit you or ran into you, it’s because you had hot coffee in your cup. If you had tea in your cup, hot tea would have spilled out. So it’s not what they’re doing, it’s what you’ve got going on.

Betsy [00:15:57]:
Okay, so this idea of these levels of consciousness, and one of the things that Doctor Hawkins talks about is the idea that you can impact where you are on this level just based on you looking at it. You’ve heard me talk before about how things change when you look at them. That’s quantum, right? There are things that change just by looking at them. I’m going to give you an example. Over the past couple weeks, I talked about how I had hired this hypnotherapist and I had to get to the core issue. I had to answer a ton of questions, basically journaling questions. I went down the rabbit hole of every crappy emotion I’ve been avoiding, and I got to the core issue, and when I saw it, I was like, oh, my God, that’s it. It was like a ray of sunshine came down and blessed my body to be like, you made it through.

Betsy [00:16:59]:
You see the thing that your unconscious mind has been trying to hide from you in order to keep you safe. I told the hypnotherapist so he could give me a hypnotherapy on that. He said, it’ll take three weeks. It’s been two weeks, so I haven’t gotten it yet. I am already so different, so different because I saw it. So if that’s true and I had to go through, like, a whole dark night of the soul and a whole Kleenex box to get there, but then isn’t it true that if I pause and I ponderous my dog Henry, who’s snoring underneath my desk, and I watch him, and I look at how sweet he looks, and I listen to his little snores, or when I see him drinking out of the water, and I just watch him drink, and it’s so cute. I swear to God, if I heard my husband making sounds like that when he was eating, I would lose my ever love of mine. But when my dog does it, I’m like, it’s the sweetest thing.

Betsy [00:17:59]:
I need to video it. Just that watching that changes my vibration, too, right? And you’ve experienced that. You feel it. Like, all of a sudden, you feel, like, a little more calm, right? A little more present so you can impact where you are just by what you’re doing, who you’re being in any given moment, who you choose to be impacts who you are. Okay, so now, here’s the thing that I think I want to tell you next. Okay, so have you heard of Abraham Hicks? If you have never heard of Abraham Hicks, I want to welcome you to go down the rabbit hole. I have a couple podcast episodes that I did introducing Abraham and what this is. So if you scroll back, if you get on the way back machine and go to episode 70, I have three, no, two episodes about understanding the law of attraction.

Betsy [00:19:04]:
Now, if you’re like, ah, I don’t do that. If the woo is, like, totally counterproductive to how you think, I totally get it. If you’ve listened to my podcast for any amount of time, then you know that I can actually explain to you the brain workings, the inner workings of how your mind organizes and operates that supports the law of attraction. You know, the law of attraction is a marketing term? I think so. So if you listen to those episodes, though, I introduce the idea of Abraham Hicks. Abraham Hicks. There’s a woman named Esther who. I’m using air quotes here, but, like, channels, a group of entities called Abraham.

Betsy [00:19:51]:
Now, if this totally, like, if you’re like, oh, my God, Betsy, I’m losing you, just hang with me for a second, because even if that seems totally crazy to you, the message from Abraham is really good. The message is really positive. And the message has actually helped me see things totally different. And when I see things totally different, remember what happens is it starts to shift where I am hanging out on the map of consciousness, right? It starts to shift how I’m experiencing the world. What happens when I start to shift how I experience the world is I start reacting to things differently. When I react to things differently, what happens? I get a totally different result. Okay? So if you don’t like where the messenger is, just don’t worry about it, but like, just hang with the message. Okay? Okay.

Betsy [00:20:47]:
So Abraham Hicks has something very similar, and they call it the emotional guidance scale. Okay, so the emotional guidance scale is. Is very similar to the map of consciousness. There’s a low and a high, right? So down at the bottom, I have things like fear and grief and depression and despair and powerlessness, right? Think about if you have come here recently and you are struggling in your marriage, and you think about it all the time, where are you most of the time? Powerlessness. So many times we are in a place of powerless, what do I do? I’m stuck. So that is the very lowest on the emotional guidance scale. Now, it doesn’t mean you don’t move up and down throughout the day, but I want you to remember where we’re vibrating is from where unconsciously I think we live. And if this is why I always say to people, how is this issue, whatever your issue is, but I’m just going to use the one with your relationship.

Betsy [00:21:57]:
How is this issue with your relationship impacting your work? I ask that question for a really specific reason because I want to know how much awareness they have about how much this issue is impacting every single area of their life. And many times women will say, it’s not. I’m really able to compartmentalize. Well, remember, consciously, I absolutely know that’s true. You probably can compartmentalize, but unconsciously you can’t. You’re emotionally living somewhere. Okay? So the reason I’m asking that is just because I want to get a feel for, I want to understand where they are. And that’s a question for me, to be able to understand where they are.

Betsy [00:22:39]:
Now. I will tell you, like, nine times out of ten, when people get into, like, week four of the program and they come to group and they’re like, you know how I said that it wasn’t impacting my work? Oh, my God, I can tell. Yeah. Because one thing impacts everything. No matter how much consciously we are able. You still might be able to show up at work and be, like, a pro, but I promise you’re not doing it in the way you could be doing it if unconsciously you weren’t living in a place of powerlessness. Because you’re always thinking about your relationship and how this isn’t working and how you’ve tried so many things and how you’ve asked and how you can’t get him to do anything different and how frustrating it is. Do you get it? Okay, so this is the bottom.

Betsy [00:23:23]:
Then I move up insecurity, guilt, unworthiness. Next up is jealousy. Next up is rage. Hatred, rage. Next up, revenge. Higher than that is anger. You’re better off on this scale being angry than you are being powerless. Anger moves you.

Betsy [00:23:45]:
It moves you to take action. It moves you to getting unstuck. Right. So what’s above that? Discouragement. Above that? Blame. I want you to notice that blame is still really low on the scale. And I think it’s very much tied in with powerlessness. Because once I blame somebody, I immediately move myself to powerlessness because I’ve given them my power.

Betsy [00:24:11]:
It’s their fault. Right. Okay, let’s keep going. Hang with me here. Worry is above that, doubt, disappointment, overwhelm, frustration or impatience. Like irritation, I’m going up higher. Pessimism. Higher is boredom.

Betsy [00:24:32]:
Right. Contentment. Okay, so now I’m getting into content. The feeling of content. I love that I could live in contentment. That feels so good to me. If I can get to a place of content, I don’t want to be dropping down with worry. Right.

Betsy [00:24:47]:
And that’s where I go sometimes. I go right to, oh, what’s going to happen? I hope this where I got this problem. How do I fix it? Okay, so let’s go back. So I got contentment. Above that is hopeful. Then I’m optimistic. Above that, positive expectation, positive beliefs. Above that.

Betsy [00:25:07]:
And then above that is happiness, eagerness. Right. I always say I’m eager for more. I’m totally content. Eager for more enthusiasm. Above that is passion. And above that, love, appreciation, empowerment, joy, knowledge. So do you see how this like moves? You can move up the scale now we move up and down the scale all day, right? I mean, there’s moments where we’ll have moments where we’re worrying or maybe we doubt something, but I’m really thinking about like, where are you living, right? Where do you live most of the time? And when something goes wrong, where do you go? I know for me, when things were really struggle, when I was really struggling in my marriage, I went right down to the bottom.

Betsy [00:25:51]:
Powerlessness. I can’t get him to do anything that I want. He won’t listen to me. I can’t do anything. I can’t leave. I can’t like, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. Like, that’s where I was. So if you’re there, I promise it can be different.

Betsy [00:26:08]:
And as I start to move up, as I start to make new decisions or get new awareness, one of the very first things we teach inside the navigate method is an idea that is meant to shift people right out of that. I can shoot you out of that so fast you’ll never go back. And the reason I want to do that is because I need people higher on the scale in order to really start doing this work, right? So one of the things that happens as we look at this scale is when I’m in a place where it doesn’t feel good, that’s my sign that I’m moving in a place down the scale if it doesn’t feel good. So we have an emotional guidance system built in, right? But most of the time we sort of ignore it or we people please and go, ah, I’ll just do it, I’ll just deal with it, right? Or we sort of push it aside because we’re really busy. There’s a lot of things on our plate, the things that we need to get done. If I don’t do them, nobody’s going to do them. I’ve got to take care of it. And so knowing where I am and where I’m living on the emotional guidance skill can be really, really powerful.

Betsy [00:27:26]:
But here’s a, the big, the big kicker, okay? When you have a problem, and remember I said when women come into the program, I do the very first lesson, I teach them something that pushes them out of fear, grief, depression, despair, powerlessness. I move them out of that. Because when you are in that, even I’m going to say, even if you’re down low, hatred range, revenge, anger, when you’re in those lower places. That is nothing. A place to make decisions but listen to what I’m about to say. It’s not a place to get ideas on what to do different. This is why problems and we get feeling stuck and it’s so frustrating is because we are making and coming up with ideas from lower vibration from a lower place on the guidance scale. You know when I talk to women on the phone I actually, and so much of what I do, it’s very thought, it’s very thought out.

Betsy [00:28:37]:
I mean I know you could probably figure that but it’s very thought out. Like I don’t ask questions like there’s reasons behind every single thing that I do, truly. And one of the things that I do is I ask women to decide if they want to fix their problem when we’re on the phone because I want to call them to courage. I want to see if they can move up to a higher place on the emotional guidance scale. Like can they access that? Because if they can and they can have that moment where they’re like, okay, I’m going to trust myself. I’m going to take this leap like I’m going to bet on myself. It changes everything because now they have, they’re coming into the program already at this higher level where they can see things they’ve never seen before and they’ll be able to solve problems from a place that they never ever, ever have been able to solve before because they were living in a place that wouldn’t get the answers that they needed. If I’m trying to come up with a solution to a problem let’s say I’m at work and I have to learn how to, I have to figure out how to stack pencils.

Betsy [00:29:47]:
Okay, I’m just picking something totally silly but I got to learn how to stack pencils and there’s like 5000 pencils and I’m so pissed. I have to do it and I’m mad. My boss is making me do this and this is so stupid. What am I going to do? And so I’m just like I’m just going to stack them up. Like I’m just going to stack them up. Then as soon as you make a little stack they all roll, right? And now they’re like just flat on the floor. You’re like oh my God, I’m so mad about this. And then you move into like rage, right? You’re like this is dumb.

Betsy [00:30:14]:
And then you start like putting up like maybe your foot or your shoe to kind of hold them in place as you stack if you can stack them up high enough. But if you were in a place where you’re like, and again, this is just an example, but if you’re in a place where you’re like, I’m gonna get to do this thing that nobody’s been able to do yet, like, I get to be super creative and figure out a solution to this. Like, I have a job where I’m making money to stack pencils. Holy smokes. How cool is this? I get to be really creative. Like, I get to take a problem and figure out a whole new solution. How lucky am I? I wonder how many cool ways I could come up with this. Then all of a sudden, you’re like, oh, well, let me stack them like, sideways and sideways, like.

Betsy [00:31:00]:
Like, stack like Lincoln logs. Do you know what I mean? And now all of a sudden, they’re not rolling. And then all of a sudden, it feels really cool and really fun. And then you’re like, I could make houses. And I could make. Do you see what I mean? When you make a decision and you solve a problem from a higher level on the emotional guidance scale, it changes the outcome. It changes the trajectory, the way it feels on the way. It changes the place that you live.

Betsy [00:31:30]:
Right? Because the more that you can hold a higher vibration, the easier it’s going to be for you to acclimate to that and stay there. This is why I also teach nervous system regulation, because I want people to get to that higher scale and then train their nervous system that that is totally safe. Totally safe. Okay. So then, if you are in a place where you are, like, stuck and struggling, I want to offer you this little thing that I do, and I use this with my clients, and it helps to move you out of the place of powerlessness or despair. And it is a process that I learned years ago from my friend Andy Dooley. So Andy taught me this. And basically it’s called.

Betsy [00:32:32]:
That’s right. It’s the that’s right game. And I have played this with my husband. I play it with myself. And lately, which I told you I was going to do what I’m doing lately, and I’ll tell you, but lately I’ve been doing it, like, every day. So, basically, you get to the place where you are and you say it. I think there’s something really powerful about saying stuff out loud. But I also work from home, and I’m alone all the time, so, you know, take that for what it is.

Betsy [00:32:56]:
But I am so pissed off that I have to put these pencils in a pile. Okay. So you say the first thing and then you go, that’s right. And all you have to do is. Is feel for the next thought. That feels better. So if we are in powerlessness, so many times people think, well, you just got to get. Be happy.

Betsy [00:33:23]:
Just get to joy. Find something to be happy about. No, I don’t think that works. Like, you might be able to find something to be happy about, but it’s easier to move the thing you’re unhappy about and move yourself up the scale. So I’m pissed about these pencils. That’s right. I was given a job that I don’t want to do. That’s right.

Betsy [00:33:45]:
I have a job. That’s right. I’m lucky that I get to make money. That’s right. I love being able to pay my bills. That’s right. Paying my bills feels really good to me. That’s right.

Betsy [00:33:57]:
It allows me to do a lot of cool stuff. That’s right. It allows me to have a house that I love. That’s right. I love my house. That’s right. I can have friends over that’s right. I get to have friends over at my house.

Betsy [00:34:08]:
Do you see how I’ve used the word? The wording? That’s right. Because I want to keep my brain busy while I’m searching for the next good feeling thought. If I just pause and I don’t say anything, I’m going to start to drift. I’m going to start to think about other things. My brain stays busy when I say, that’s right. I can only have basically one thought at a time. This is how come snipers, you know, when they teach snipers to snipe, you know, when they teach them how to be snipers, they teach them to repeat a set of instructions over and over and over and over again while they’re getting ready to shoot and while they’re shooting and while they’re watching their target. The reason is because they don’t want their mind to start going to like, who is this person? I wonder if they have a family.

Betsy [00:35:08]:
Do they have kids? I wonder where they go. They don’t want that. Right. And I don’t want you to be like, drifting off into something else. So. That’s right. It’s going to keep yourself focused. Will you search for the next good feeling thought? It may be that you get stuck and you’re like, I’m kind of going around in a circle saying the same kind of thoughts, but I think you’ll start to notice there is a little bit different vibration.

Betsy [00:35:32]:
Like there’s a little bit different in how it feels. Right. And so as you keep doing this and you start practicing it, it’ll start to shift things. Okay. So now I wanted to tell you now we’re 35 minutes in. I’m gonna tell you what I’ve been doing to kind of wrap this up. So I decided that I was going to really probably about two months ago every morning I started writing out in a journal, handwriting in a journal what I was moving towards. So it’s so great this morning to wake up at my beach house knowing that I’m running back to Atlanta this afternoon and then jumping on an airplane to go speak at this most amazing resort in Colorado.

Betsy [00:36:22]:
Do you see what I mean? Like, I was just writing and I was really haphazardly, like writing anything, but it would get me to this really high vibe feeling place before I started any work, especially before I talked to anybody because I wanted and I always want to be able to show up, whether it’s my client or with somebody that’s booked a call with me to see, you know, if I can help them, if they can become a client. And so I want to be in a really high flying place because I want to be able to reflect back what they’re not seeing. Right. I want to reflect back what they’re saying to me. So I get that was really working. You know, it was really working. I did it for probably about 18 ish days, 1718 days. And then I decided I’m going to get really focused and I wanted to see if I could create a lot of, I’m using going to use this word tension.

Betsy [00:37:17]:
I wanted to create a lot of tension towards a particular event that was coming up. So I am going to California in November, as I do twice a year to meet with my coach. And I wanted to have made some huge shifts by the time I was boarding the airplane. Okay. So I started writing on September 1. I started writing every morning. That moment. The moment that I’m boarding the plane.

Betsy [00:37:51]:
And I’ll tell you, over the past 27 days, it has gotten so real. So real. I’m boarding the plane. I’m looking down. I can see my feet, my hands. I can feel my bag. I’m so excited. I can’t.

Betsy [00:38:04]:
I’m just, you know, I don’t want to go into all the things, but, like, I have made these humongous shifts over the past ten weeks. Like, it’s incredible. This has happened. This has happened. This has happened. I feel yddeh new things that I never even dreamed of. Every day, I feel so fulfilled and right alive. I am writing this every day.

Betsy [00:38:22]:
Every day is a little bit different, but it’s always me getting on the airplane, okay? It’s that moment that I want to know that I have made these shifts, because when I get on the plane, I’m like, I am so proud of you. You did it right. Okay. So as I start doing this, I start doing this work. I’m writing the past two months, I’ve been writing and then writing over this past month on this particular thing. I’m getting in this really high vibe place, and then I’m writing several things to start my day that I really appreciate. Now, I’m not writing. Like, I appreciate that I have.

Betsy [00:39:01]:
Like, it’s. I’m trying. I’m finding the subtle things. The other morning, I was sitting outside in my bathrobe, and I was sweating because it was hot out still in Atlanta. And honestly, I’m ready for it to be cool. But instead, I wrote because this was true. I noticed I was starting to sweat. I’m like, dang it, it’s like October or September.

Betsy [00:39:21]:
But I thought, how cool that my body sweats to cool me down. Like, I have a built in system to keep my body temperature correct. How cool is that? Like, that’s pretty badass, right? And so I try and notice these really subtle things. Now, remember way back at the beginning when I started this episode, I talked about when you notice things, they start to shift. So now I’m creating my own shifts by noticing the things that would have gone undetected. And now it’s like, just I notice stuff all the time where I’m like, oh, that’s a really cool shade of blue for that marker. So appreciation. Now, where’s appreciation on the scale? It’s pretty darn high.

Betsy [00:40:08]:
It’s all the way at the top, actually. It’s number one. Love, appreciation, freedom. So I’m getting myself there throughout the day. Now, have all the things that I wanted to. Well, actually, a lot of them have started happening. But have all of them? No, not yet, but they are. They will absolutely.

Betsy [00:40:25]:
I don’t even have a doubt. I can tell you with certainty, absolute certainty that that day that I walk onto that airplane, I will absolutely have all those things. And I will feel the way that I want to feel, and I will know without a doubt that I created that. Because I’m making decisions from this really high vibe place. I’m only operating from there. And if I’m in a low vibe place, then I’m like, stop what you’re doing. Stop. Go do something else.

Betsy [00:40:51]:
Go for a little walk. Take a little nap. Go get yourself a apple juice. Do you know what I’m saying? Like, get to a place where you feel really good. Last month, I actually bought uncrustables. Do you know what those are? It’s like the world’s greatest peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Do you know what they are in the freezer section? I freaking love those things. Now can I eat them every day? No.

Betsy [00:41:15]:
I mean, I’d probably get sick of them, but something about them I love. So if I’m. I have used them to move up the guidance scale. I’m gonna go get me a little uncrustable from the freezer, and then I pull it out and I give myself 15 minutes. I have eaten them half frozen, and they’re actually good half frozen, too, but that’s neither here nor there. So I’m moving up the scale. Now, what else has happened is I started getting totally new ideas. The idea of hiring Joseph to do my hypnosis, I want you to know, and you’ve probably heard me talk about this, I have used his app for years.

Betsy [00:41:50]:
Almost every day for years. I have been friends with him on Facebook because we went through a program together in 2019. That’s five years ago. Have I ever thought of hiring him? No. I never even thought about it. Now, why did I think about it now? Because I was in alignment with him. Because I moved to a place where that seemed like the next obvious right choice. It became important because I could see how he could move me to a place that I needed to go.

Betsy [00:42:22]:
But I couldn’t have seen it before because I wasn’t ready to move to that place. I had to really put in the mindset. Work. Now, is this taking me hours every morning? No. It takes me like 15 minutes. Takes me five minutes. It takes me way less time than it takes for me to ponder how pissed I am about stuff of. So I wanted to offer this to you as a thought and go look up the emotional guidance scale, if that sounds fun to you.

Betsy [00:42:54]:
We’re actually doing some deep dives into that. Inside my. I have a well inside the navigate method. When you’re done, if you want to come into a little circle with me, then. But this is one of the things I’m diving deep, deep into next month. Because there are ways, there are loads of ways to actually create change in this. But if this is something that you’re interested in, this process, and if by all means, if you’re feeling like, oh, my God, this is the thing. I need to move to this to fix my relationship.

Betsy [00:43:26]:
And by fix, it might not be heal it, it might be healing yourself so that you know exactly what you want. And then it becomes really obvious if he can meet you there, if you’re vibrationally in the same place, sometimes people will be in group and they’ll say like, I’m fine. And so then he says something, and then I feel like, ugh. So again, if you think of somebody on a vibrational scale that’s lower, you’re higher. Are you allowing them to pull you down, or are you holding yourself at this higher place so that they are forced to rise or they’ll just wander off. Do you see what I mean? So making decisions from this high vibe place, this place of feeling optimism, hopeful contentment, positive eagerness for what’s next is the place you want to live. And then, and I will wrap it up, I promise. But then.

Betsy [00:44:26]:
Then your goals, it’s not about going after your goals. It’s about living in the place you want to live. And so then when you’re an old lady in bed about to die, you will say, about to transition. Let’s say it that way. About to transition. You will say, I freaking did it. I lived. I took every moment, and I moved into such a higher place.

Betsy [00:44:49]:
I savored every moment. I lived all the life that was there. I wasn’t worried about stuff in the past, and I wasn’t too worried about what was happening in the future. I was there, and I took action. Who I chose to be in every moment is who I became. And that, I think, is how you live a big life. If you liked this episode, please share it with a friend. Tag me on social media.

Betsy [00:45:16]:
Everybody that’s left a review. I freaking love that. Thank you. It makes me want to jump up and click my heels together. It brings me right up to appreciation. So move up to appreciation by leaving me a review of appreciation, and we could be there together. So thank you so much. I love you so much.

Betsy [00:45:34]:
I hope you have an incredible week, and I will see you next week. Bye bye. Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show, and thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to, like, figure out how to even make that happen.

Betsy [00:46:03]:
Now, if you want to find me, find me on social media. I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on TikTok. It’s just my name, Betsy Pake. And that’s my website, too, betsypake.com. and you can find out all about the work that I do, having me speak for an event that you might be helping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me, just shoot me a DM. Shoot me a direct message on Instagram, and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening, and I will see you all next week.

On todays podcast Betsy examines the question: ” Are you doing everything in your power to make this happen?”

Transcript:

Betsy [00:00:05]:
Welcome to the Art of Living Big podcast. My name is Betsy Pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hi, good morning. Welcome to the art of Living Big.

Betsy [00:00:36]:
I have an idea that I want to share with you. This thought that’s been rolling around in my head, and so I want to dive into that. First, let me give you an update, because if you listened last week, I talked about visibility and how I’ve been doing some things and how I hired Joseph the hypnotherapist this weekend. I went through this massive deep dive into uncovering the core issue. I’m laughing because, you know, sometimes I hear people talk about ayahuasca journeys. They go on this like ayahuasca journey or they have this plant medicine thing, and I have a lot of thoughts about that. But I hear people talk about that and they’re like, it was a dark night of the soul, or I met my. Yeah, I did all that without.

Betsy [00:01:26]:
I did all of that without any plant medicine. I went through it. I went through it this weekend. It was actually so hard and so good. And, you know, I went through this core to really get to the core issue, like what is really, you know, we have a lot of symptoms about things, and I had a lot of symptoms like having some fear about showing up or feeling really sensitive if people said things or a lot of things that I don’t even want to get into. But, but those are all symptoms of some sort of belief or value deep down. And so I really went through the process of figuring that out, and it was excruciating. I say that.

Betsy [00:02:12]:
I mean that. I really mean that. I don’t even know how much I slept on Friday night. It was more like napping in between, like a lot of memories of awful things and processing and moving through stuff. But, you know, I say this all the time, and I say this to the women that are inside the navigate method or that have done any programs with me, like, looking at this stuff is not for the week. You know, really moving past the things that are holding you in place is. Although when you get to the other side, it’s really incredible. It is not easy work.

Betsy [00:02:50]:
It was hard for me on Friday night to not pick up my phone and distract myself for a minute. Let me just go online and check in and see what’s going on or turn on the tv or I need a break from this. I really sat in. The uncomfortableness was really profound for me. So I share that because I think sometimes we think the things that are holding us in place are out of our reach, or it’s just too hard, or I don’t even know how I would do that. And there is a path. There is a way to do this work. And I’ve talked about it on the show, so, you know, keep listening.

Betsy [00:03:34]:
Go back to old episodes. But I think being able to really get clear on the things that are holding you back because, and I truly believe this. And although I think this might be kind of like I’m using air quotes like a little woo woo idea, the idea that nothing is in the way. Nothing is in the way until we start layering all of our thoughts and beliefs and creating our reality around things that are in the way. You know, when we’re babies, we ask for what we want, we cry. When we’re unhappy, we yell for food, we do whatever it is that we need to do to get what we need. And then something happens as we get older and as we learn and as we go through our social constructs and learn the way of the world and honestly create our reality. And I’ve talked about this on the show so often, but I want to just touch on it again, is that our reality absolutely is created when we’re young, for the most part, by the beliefs and values that we are shown and handed down from those people around us.

Betsy [00:04:49]:
And I have said this, I said this on the show, like years and years and years ago, when Kylie Jenner, like that Forbes article came out that said she was a billionaire, and when that came out, which I think since they’ve said that wasn’t true, she isn’t a billionaire. But anyway, that doesn’t matter. The idea was that I thought that she must think so differently about what’s available to her, about what’s normal, right. About everything, about everything than I do, right, because of her experience. And I think that’s pretty easy to say. Like, if somebody, if you’re Prince William, you probably have a different life experience than me as Betsy Pakin. So you think differently. That makes sense, right? But when we bring that down to you’ve created your reality, people get a little like, I don’t know about that, but absolutely, the way that we think and the things that we expect start to alter what our unconscious mind shows us as available to us.

Betsy [00:05:54]:
And when we start to change that honing mechanism, right. When we start to change what we think is possible, our unconscious mind picks up on new clues that have probably been there all along. So on Friday night, when I was doing that work, trying to get to the core issue, I was trying to get to the core issue simply so I could do a hypnosis with Joseph on that core issue, right. Because we want to not work on the symptoms. We want to really get to the heart of what’s going on. Just seeing it was so profound for me. Going through that experience of really getting to it was, honestly, it already has changed things. I’m noticing that I’m thinking things differently.

Betsy [00:06:41]:
This morning I had a thought where I was like, oh, my God, that’s a totally new thought. And so obvious. How come I’ve never thought that before? Like a next step or a next thing? So I wanted to kind of give you an update. So that’s where I am. I haven’t had the hypnosis yet with Joseph, so I’m super curious how that pans out. But I did get to the core issue, and I know I got it. Like, I know, I know, I know that I got it. And it was so simple and so profound that it was surprising to me.

Betsy [00:07:11]:
I had never seen it before. But that’s what our unconscious mind does, right? Is it tries to hide it because it is using it as a protective mechanism. And it worked really well for me when I was young. And now not so much, which kind of brings me to the thought that I wanted to share with you today. So I saw this quote as you know, because I feel like every week I’m like, I saw this quote. Every time I see something, I’m like, mmm. Is that true for me? What do I think about that? So. So this is the quote.

Betsy [00:07:43]:
Well, let me frame it this way. You know, we all have you, we all have goals, ideas of things we want to have or do or be in our lives, things we want to experience. And I started really noticing that I was cutting myself off mentally, really quickly. When I would see particular people online, whether I knew them or not, like, or knew of them, like, if I would just see a post and they would be doing something that most of the time it was something I wanted to do, I would immediately get this feeling of that’s not available to me and I would, like, move past them, like, I wouldn’t want to think about it. And I started noticing this after I removed, after I recognized the core issue. I started really noticing this, like, what is going on? Why do I dismiss myself like, that’s really fascinating. Why am I dismissing myself on that or on this or on that? And I think sometimes we think this is sort of a clue, like, well, good for them. That’s nice for them.

Betsy [00:08:52]:
Like, must be nice. That must be nice. It’s not available to me, is really what that’s saying. Well, it must be nice to have the beach house, or it must be nice to have the private plane or whatever it is that’s your thing. I don’t know. But that is an indication that you think it’s not available to you because you’re looking over there and saying, must be nice to be you. It’s not me. So I started noticing that I was feeling this.

Betsy [00:09:24]:
I wasn’t necessarily articulating it in my head, like, must be nice, but I could feel it. And so anytime I’m feeling something, I’m like, okay, that’s there. I need to pay attention to that. It’s an internal guidance system. Right. Our feelings. And so I noticed this kind of pattern over the weekend, and I was like, wow, that’s super interesting. And then I saw this quote, and it said, are you doing everything in your power to make this happen? Are you doing everything in your power to make this happen? Now, what’s this? This is whatever this is for you.

Betsy [00:10:03]:
So what are the things, first of all, what are the things that you really want? And you might have some ideas that come right into your mind right off when I say that, like, right off, I know I want this, but I’m. But pause with that, does it feel attainable, or does it feel like that’s something I want that feels just outside my reach, or like, I’ll probably never get there, but it is something that would be nice, right? Or is there something that you would like that you know you’d never get? Like, God, that would be awesome. But that’s not. I’ll probably never have that. And I want you to really think about, what are the things? What is your this? What is your this? And again, the question is, are you doing everything in your power to make this happen? So whatever your this is, are you actually doing everything in your power to get it? And when I say get it, I’m not saying hustle for it, move into it, like, work hard for it. That might feel good to you. To work hard. I’m not saying don’t do that if that feels good to you, but I think we believe that the work is striving to get to it.

Betsy [00:11:26]:
And I want to offer the thought that maybe the work is striving to release whatever is keeping you from it in the first place. There are things that I want. There are goals that I have just like you. Some are really big, some are small. Some are things that I want that I actually know could be available, but I feel scared about them, or I just. It makes me feel uncomfortable. It makes me nervous. And so I know that there’s something I’ve got to release.

Betsy [00:12:00]:
This is why I started doing this work with Joseph, right? And going through, finding out what is the thing that’s holding me back, you know? So define what your this is. So it might be some things that are happening that you could make happen by the end of the year. Things you want to experience, maybe a way that you want to be. Maybe it’s how you want to be with your partner, right? Maybe it’s how you want to show up in your partnership. Maybe it’s something with work. Maybe it’s starting a side gig. Maybe it’s going and experiencing a seminar or learning experience that you want to go. Maybe it’s going to a concert in Europe.

Betsy [00:12:45]:
Like, maybe it’s anything. Whatever it is that you want to do, be, or have. So define what your this is. And then when I was thinking about it, I was like, okay, I have my this is. And some of my this is were like, more of a feeling that I didn’t even allow myself to formulate. I didn’t allow myself to put it into words because it felt out of reach. And honestly, that’s something I do. Maybe it’s something you do, too, where I’m like, if it feels too big, I don’t even wanna.

Betsy [00:13:17]:
I don’t even wanna look at it. Cause then it’s just like, one more thing I can’t have, right? And even as I say that, I know that’s absolutely not true. Now. Now I’m gonna pause because you might be like, well, yeah, I’m never gonna be an Olympic gymnast. And maybe that’s something I really wanted. I’m gonna use that because it’s a far out example just to get to this point. Okay, so if you’ve got something, you’re like, yeah, but I always wanted this, and now I’ll never have it because I’ll never be an NBA basketball player because I’m 55 years old. Right.

Betsy [00:13:56]:
Whatever it is, what is the feeling that that was giving you? And if you didn’t move away from the thought when it became, like, a hot potato what is it about that thing that you really wanted? What is it about being an Olympic gymnast that really felt good to you? And it might be felt, the idea of me feeling really in control of my body feels good. Maybe it’s competing at a really high level. Maybe it’s being the best at something, right? Maybe it’s being celebrated. Then I would say, take those things, because the experience of being the Olympic athlete would give you those. But that’s not the only place that would give you those. And so find out. Hone in on what it is that is really your thing, and what’s the feeling attached to it? And you can say your that is the feeling until the idea of how to get that feeling comes into your awareness. So don’t opt out by saying, well, it’s this random thing that now I can never have.

Betsy [00:15:17]:
Like my, my, that is to be 22 and now I’m 55 or whatever. Doesn’t matter. I want you to get to the feeling. Okay. All right, so we’ve got the. That, right? Are you doing everything in your power to make this happen? You’ve got your this. You’re this. You’re this or that.

Betsy [00:15:36]:
Okay, so now I wanna talk about what is everything in my power? Like, what does that actually mean? Everything in my power. And going back to the idea that sometimes it’s not about doing more of the things to bring it to you, but it’s doing things to stop the restriction. So when I think about what’s in my power, I think there’s two things. I think there’s things that are in my awareness right now, and there’s things outside of my awareness. Both of those are within my power, whether I’m conscious of it or not. So I think when we explore everything in your power, there’s nuances to it, right? There’s complexities of what it really means to do everything, and to do everything in your capability to achieve what it is that you want. And I want to say that part again in your capacity. What’s in your experience right now? You know, I talk all the time about living big, and if you’re new here, what I mean by that is doing the most you can do with what’s available to you right now.

Betsy [00:16:51]:
You know, years ago, and if you’ve been here for a long time, I’m sorry, because you’ve probably heard this story before, but I’ll make it short. Years ago, like twelve years ago, probably. I really wanted to be a speaker. Okay? I wanted to be a keynote speaker. It was something that I was like, I really wanted that. That was my. That, right? And my daughter was sick, and I couldn’t. It just, I was trying to pitch myself places.

Betsy [00:17:19]:
I didn’t have money to get a coach to help me to understand how to even really do that properly. And I had this message, right, and I was trying to figure out what was next and how to do it, and I just, I felt like I was failing, and it didn’t make any sense for me to get some sort of keynote where I had to fly somewhere and I didn’t know what was going on with my daughter. Like, it all just didn’t work. And so I really got honed in on the feeling, and the feeling was that I have a lot of thoughts, and I wanted to inspire people, right? I wanted to change the way people experienced things. It must have been about ten years ago, because what I decided to do one day, I was just driving past a panera bread, and I saw the panera bread, and in that moment, I thought I should call them and just see if I can host an event, like every other week or every month where I speak. And so I called. I remember calling from my car, and as I drove by, and I was just like, hey, can I use, they have, like, a space where you could shut the doors. Can I use that space? They were like, yeah, absolutely.

Betsy [00:18:25]:
Because to them, people would come in and buy breakfast or coffee or whatever. And so I put it on meetup, and people started coming. People came, and I did it for a long time. And I was the speaker. I just said, come listen to an inspirational speaker. I didn’t tell them it was going to be me every month, but then they would come and. And after that is really how I decided to start the podcast. Right.

Betsy [00:18:48]:
Eight years ago, started the podcast. So I share this, because sometimes we can only do what we can do. So living big is living in the getting as big as you can in the spot that you’re at. So I think when we define everything in your power, we can’t ignore real life and perhaps some limitations and capacity that you have right now, but that gives us an opportunity to be really creative. And what that did for me was it created space for me to get really good at speaking and practicing and putting together speeches and having the podcast, right? And then later on, you know, years later, I went on to make, you know, 10,000 plus on speaking engagements. So, absolutely, we can start someplace with the intention that we’re learning and becoming more. Also, I think that when we look at this, we’ve really got to look at what are my resources? You know, everything in my power at that time. I couldn’t go hire a coach for $50,000 a year.

Betsy [00:20:05]:
Like, that wasn’t what I was gonna do. It just wasn’t within, my, gosh, $5,000 a year wasn’t in my capacity at that time. But it didn’t matter because I wanted it. And so I figured out other ways. I found podcasts and books and blog posts. If you go back to episode, maybe it’s like 50, 51, something like that. There is one where I talk about my love of Sarah Blakely and about how I started having mentors. That’s when I started having mentors, because I couldn’t.

Betsy [00:20:39]:
There were limitations in my resources. But we can’t get mad at everybody else because we’ve got these limitations. We’ve got to. We can’t hot potato it. We’ve got to look at it and say, this is giving me an opportunity. You know, anytime when I’m coaching someone and they come to me and they’re like, this is my problem. I always want to rephrase it, right? Is it a problem or is it a challenge? Is it a challenge or is it an opportunity? And when you can get to seeing it as an opportunity, it gives you space to be creative. It gives you space to learn some skills that maybe you need to get where you want to go.

Betsy [00:21:20]:
So also, when I think about everything in my power, I think about overcoming fear and self doubt, because those are things that are very much in our power. And sometimes when we have fear or we have self doubt, and that feeling comes, that feels bad, we opt out, right? We say, well, I’m not going to look at that. That feels bad. That feels hard. That must not be the place. And so when I think about everything in our power, I think about really defining these things for myself. And you’re the only one that knows. And I always think, like, we, you might say, no, no, I’m not doing that.

Betsy [00:22:01]:
But, like, deep down, I know. My coach said to me recently, she asked me something, and she was like, do you think that’s a possibility? You’re doing that? And I was like, no, but in the little back of my head, I was like, oh, no, I’m totally doing that. I’m totally doing that. I think I messaged later. Voxer dura I was like, oh, yeah, okay, so remember when I said no, like, I am. That is something I’m doing. And when we really listen in, when we can really listen and we know what’s the truth for us, right? So when I think of this, are we doing everything in our power to make this happen? Once I move past those things then I can say what are the actions? What are the actions I’d really need to take or could take or would feel fun to take, right? So I have been exploring this myself. Like what are the actions? Like I have some goals, right, for some new people that I want to bring in to the navigate method.

Betsy [00:22:58]:
I know what this woman is like. I can picture her, I already love her. I sit and think about her in the morning and I’m like, I just know she’s going to find me or maybe she’s found me but she hasn’t reached out yet and she is the perfect person and I am going to know as soon as I talk to her and I am going to help her, she is going to have a whole new experience and a whole new life and she’s going to look back at those ten weeks in the navigate method and be like that. That’s the thing, that’s the thing that changed my whole experience. And so when I get in that space in the morning then, then and only then do I say what are the actions that I need to take? What are the things I need to do? And I thought this week I was like, you know what, I could do a special event where I teach a little something, right? Because then they would meet me and they’d get to know how I teach and I have my masterclass. If you’re new here and you wanna watch my masterclass you can just go to betsypake.com and it’s right there in the front, on the front page link to it. But what if I did something a little different, right? Cause that felt fun. Because it felt fun.

Betsy [00:24:11]:
Like what if I posted some more creative stuff, like what if I really let them see more of who I am and how I show up? What kind the real, and I say this, I hope people in the navigate method, I hope that this is how you feel too. Cause I love the women in the program and I feel like we have a special bond, you know? And so how do I move that into a space where people understand that and only the right people will be attracted to that, right? Only the right people. When you are truly authentic and showing up as authentically you, no matter what youre a this is, the things will start to be drawn to you. That’s just how it works. And so when I look, are you doing everything in your power to make this happen, I want to offer you the idea that sitting with this concept, getting clear on what it is you want, what it is you want that you’re not allowing yourself to see and understanding what’s keeping you from it is going to start to propel you forward to a place where you can sit in the real, true being of it. Right. That feeling of this has already happened. This feels so good.

Betsy [00:25:33]:
Hold that feeling as long as you can and make all of your decisions from that place. Not from the place of constriction, not from the place of feeling conflict, but from the place of this feels so good. And this is how I live a big life. All right, I love you guys so much. Have an amazing week. I’ll talk to you next week. Bye bye. Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show, and thank you for sharing the show with your friends.

Betsy [00:26:09]:
I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to, like, figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me, find me on social media. I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on TikTok. It’s just my name, Betsy Pake.

Betsy [00:26:36]:
And that’s my. My website, too, betsypake.com. and you can find out all about the work that I do, having me speak for an event that you might be helping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me, just shoot me a DM. Shoot me a direct message on Instagram, and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening, and I will see you all next week.

This week I went to California for a mastermind I’m part of and had the opportunity to speak to a group of my peers and I wanted to share with you today what I shared with them.
Transcript:

Betsy [00:00:05]:
Welcome to the art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy Paik. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big.

Betsy [00:00:32]:
Hello, hello. Hi. Welcome. Welcome to the show today. Welcome to the art of living big. I am Betsy Paik, and I’m excited to be with you here today. So if you’ve been here for a little while, you guys, I am showing up on video, and I have been doing it now. I’ve done it.

Betsy [00:00:49]:
I’ve done it like three times now. It’s pretty impressive. So if you haven’t gone to my YouTube channel, go just Google the YouTube and you will see it. But I’m pretty excited about it because it is hard sometimes to be a beginner. You know, it’s hard to do something new. And even though I have been doing video for a long time, I haven’t been doing video when I do this show. And if you’re new here, when I do this show, typically I get an idea and then I just talk, which is how it’s always worked really well for me. But when you’re showing up on video, thinking about things while you’re talking is just, I don’t know, it’s a little bit different.

Betsy [00:01:28]:
So lots and lots of new things and new challenges in my life. And I have said many times, like, if I have a problem I’ve never had before, I’m like, this is exciting because I’m going someplace new, new problems. And that’s kind of what’s happening. Being a beginner can be hard and just something new and can feel, like a little bit of a problem sometime. But I’m just really. I’m just really pleased with myself. I’m going to sing. So, so happy to be here with you guys today.

Betsy [00:01:58]:
I wanted to talk about my past week I have been in California. If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen that I was at an event this past week in California. I went to Huntington Beach. I live in Atlanta, Georgia. But I love California. And anytime that I have an opportunity to do any training, even if that training is up the street, I will try and attend the version that’s in California. I just really love it. I love the beach anyway.

Betsy [00:02:27]:
And I love, like, the ocean vibes. And I think the vibe in California is just really cool. With. I mean, we’ve got some, now that I live inside the city in Atlanta, we do have some cool stuff. You know, I love a good smoothie bowl place, and I feel like those are in abundance in California. You know, it’s just like, different stuff that’s available, different parts of the country. And so, anyway, I was thrilled because I was going to get to go, and I went actually for two, well, it was two events. My coach that I have had off and on since 2018 has a mastermind.

Betsy [00:03:08]:
So, for example, if you have been inside my program, the navigate method, I came into their initial program, and then they had a mastermind on the back end program. And what I mean by mastermind is it’s a group of entrepreneurs that come together for guidance and companionship, you know, to be able to really help each other and to come together in a smaller group to be able to help each other. And so this particular coach has two different levels, I’m going to say, of their mastermind. And I was in one for a long time and then have moved up. I’m going to say moved to a different one. Okay, so there’s one that’s maybe a little more in depth, let’s call it that. So I’m in the more in depth one, which gives me access to both of their events. So I can be in the first one and I can be in the more in depth one.

Betsy [00:04:05]:
There are live events. Okay, so all of that to say, I went to California because they have those live events back to back. So I got to go to the first live event, which was just so fun. You know, it’s people that I’ve been interacting with, and then you guys probably have communities like this, right? Like you’ve got people that, you know from the Internet or from online or from, you know, your online world. And then to get to see them in real life was really, really cool and really fun. It was funny because the first night, kind of the kickoff, they have like a cocktail party, and then the event is like the next two days. And so at the cocktail party, I was walking around and I was like, I know that person, but I need them to have, I needed people to have the, their Zoom background, like on a stick, they could just hold behind their head. So when I looked at them, I knew exactly who they were because of the background.

Betsy [00:05:02]:
Do you know what I mean? You know how you see people in a certain way for months and months and months or years, and then you see them in real life, and it’s like you’re out of. It’s out. You’re like something this isn’t. The context is different, so. But it was really fun to get to see everybody. And at that initial event, I got to speak, which is always really fun. I love that. And, you know, one of the things that I talked about in that was about when I first moved into my house here in Atlanta.

Betsy [00:05:34]:
And if you’ve been here for a little while, you know that I sold my house in the suburbs about three years ago, moved into the city into an apartment with the intention of staying in that apartment for a year. And life as it does took other turns, and I ended up going on some adventures. And you can listen to some of those episodes around, like the Iceland episodes. You could, you could search for Iceland. Betsy, pick Iceland. It’ll come up. But it kind of culminated with that event of me going to Iceland for a month and really doing months and months of a lot of soul searching and a lot of healing of stuff to be able to come back. And then once I came back to that apartment, the lease was going to be up any minute, and it just made sense to stay for another year.

Betsy [00:06:27]:
So, you know how you stay someplace and then you’re like, I’m going to be here for a short time, and then, you know, fast forward two years and you’re still there. So it was only about a year ago that I moved into my house in the city. And so we bought this house in May and couldn’t move in until July, until June. So the previous owners kept occupancy for a month. And in that month, I had a huge leak in my apartment. And there’s an episode about that. It’s, it’s last May, probably. You could find that.

Betsy [00:06:58]:
And, I mean, I really, I really dismantled what it was that caused that leak. If you go back, I might need to go back and listen to that episode. But just to reflect. It’s always interesting to reflect. But, I mean, I broke down what was happening from a quantum level that created an environment for that experience to happen. And then we moved into this house. And inside my office, I put an old couch. Now, in December, I redid my office and got rid of that old couch, and I got two really cute gold chairs that you may have seen on Instagram.

Betsy [00:07:36]:
And those chairs, now I call my thinking chairs. But at the time, I had the thinking couch. And so in my talk, and I was talking to entrepreneurs, so I was talking about so many times, you know, and this can be whether it’s, we’re entrepreneurs or we’re working on our relationship, or we are working on our. Any kind of relationship, friendships, relationship with our children, whatever it is, co workers, so many times. And I know I do this, too, so I’m not immune. But we will go outside of ourselves to get answers. I don’t mean to learn something new. I mean to get the answers for what’s right for us.

Betsy [00:08:23]:
But the truth is that we know what’s right for us inherently. We may not consciously be able to connect to it. And that’s okay. That’s why we have the thinking couch. But so often what we’ll do is we’ll go to other people. And I see this. I mean, I talk to women every day that are like, I can’t make this. I can’t make certain decisions on my own right, or I don’t know, or I need to check with a friend or my husband, or none of that is inherently bad.

Betsy [00:08:58]:
Unless you don’t realize that you’re asking for somebody else’s glasses, their frame of the world, which includes every thing that has ever happened to them, every belief system they have, every value, every thing that they internalized that every parent, teacher, principal ever said to them, those glasses on your life. And if you don’t recognize that, you are asking somebody else for their view of the world, because what we do is we go, what should I do? What should I do? The truth is, the only, you know, because it’s your life and your lens and your experiences that are going to be the thing that matters. Now, I think it’s absolutely fine to ask someone’s view of it, but that’s different than somebody’s advice. Does that make sense, that distinction? Like, what’s your viewpoint of this based on your life and your experience? What does that mean? And I think the other thing really is this idea that we don’t know. Like, that I can’t. I don’t trust myself. And honestly, I think that’s a lot of what it is, right? It’s that I have had experiences where I was burned, and now I don’t know if I could trust myself. And so I have to shift that responsibility to somebody else because that feels more comfortable to me.

Betsy [00:10:38]:
It feels more comfortable to my nervous system. It helps me feel more content. And even if I get a life that I didn’t intend and that I don’t like, then at least I haven’t had the responsibility of trying to untangle it. And then what happens? Or to get here, and then what happens is I try to untangle it and it’s tangled up in someone else’s beliefs and values and decisions. Now, it is absolutely normal for that to happen in our lives. And I think a lot of that’s because we’ve been told, you know, like, to. We’ve been socialized, right, to talk about things with our friends. And I don’t mean don’t talk about things with your friends.

Betsy [00:11:22]:
I mean be hyper aware of what you’re actually asking for. And then the other side of that is to know yourself and trust yourself enough to be able to make a right decision for you so that you are actually leading a life that’s yours, right? That you are leading a life that’s yours. Because what can happen so often is that we are leading a life and it doesn’t feel good. We might not even really know why, but when we look back, we’re like, oh, well, I changed my art major to business because that’s what my dad thought I should do, right? And I got married because the wheels were already turning and that’s the direction things were going and it was the right time. I knew they’d be a good dad, right? Whatever those things are for you, jobs, relationships, it doesn’t matter. Are we living a life that’s really true to us? And I. I believe. This is my belief.

Betsy [00:12:35]:
You don’t have to believe this, but I believe that’s sort of what happens when we, like, hit our forties or our late thirties. All of a sudden we’re like, hold up, hold up. This isn’t like, I don’t know that this feels so great. Have I been the one that’s been making decisions or have I been deferring to other people? It’s not bad either way. It’s just good to know because once you know and you get that awareness, you can take a different step, right? You can start to do things differently. And I think that, you know, one of the things that I talked about when I talked about, and I was talking to entrepreneurs specifically, but I was saying, like, stop looking outside for the answers for things that you need to know about the deep work that you do. So the people that I was talking to were mainly coaches. And so I’m not saying don’t learn skills from other people or don’t get strategies.

Betsy [00:13:37]:
That’s not what I’m saying. But when you’re trying to make big decisions about how you want to run your business, what if, what if the way to get to where we want to go is totally. Now, some of you, I’m going to, I’m going to ask you to just suspend judgment for just a second. Okay? All right. So what if the way to get the life that you really love, and I don’t mean like, it might be your career, it might be like, I mean, you are like, my life doesn’t mean bad things aren’t happening, but it means my life is going exactly the way that I want. This feels really good. What if the way to do that was by trusting your gut? Like, we’ve been told to, like, weigh the options, make a pros and cons list. I mean, none of that is bad, inherently bad, but I’m offering you the thought that none of that’s inherently bad as long as the ultimate decision comes down to your gut feeling.

Betsy [00:14:39]:
Now. Now, you might be like, throwing hands and being like, no way, no way. But what if you could really trust your intuition, that gut feeling, there’s something in your body that says yes or no. One of the things we teach in the navigate method is to how to know what’s a yes and what’s a no in your body. There’s a specific thing that happens to you. Think about something that’s such a yes right where you’re like, that is an absolute yeah. Going to the beach. Absolute yes.

Betsy [00:15:13]:
Thought of living at the beach. Like, absolute yes. Over here. Now think about what’s a no. Like being in a dark alley by myself. This is a hard no, right? Being out on my porch when there’s a ton of hornets around. Like no. How do I know the difference between those things and can that, are there nuances? Like, as you narrow that, like, I think of, if you’re watching the video, you can see my hands but this wide.

Betsy [00:15:46]:
Like yes or no on either side. But as you narrow that and your hands come together, right. And it becomes narrower and narrower. Can you understand the nuances? But can you get the nuances of a yes and a no? Do you know how to follow your intuition? And I think there are really strategic ways that we can start to do that if we’ve lost touch with it. And one of the things that I was saying last week when I was in California was, you know, one of the ways is to just sit. Like, just sit. Get yourself a thinking couch, or use the couch you already have, declare one cushion, the thinking cushion, and spend some time thinking about the things that you would go to somebody else to make the decision. Now, if you’re like, there’s no way I can make certain decisions without my partner, without my friend, or without, you know, checking the Ouija board, whatever that is for you.

Betsy [00:16:45]:
Like, do that, but know what you want to so that then you’re making a decision that’s got all the parts covered, right? All the bases are covered. And so what I was saying was, there are questions you have that you already, deep down, know the answers to. Again, I’m not saying don’t go learn things. That’s not what I’m saying. This is different. But when you are looking for, like, what do I do with my life? And what I was talking about in California was like, how do I share with my perfect client? And one of the things I do on Instagram is, well, pull up my journal. I pull out my journal and look back to three years ago, four years ago. I mean, I could look back ten years ago.

Betsy [00:17:42]:
I can get ideas of how I felt, and so I can write about those things. And I think anytime that we get absolute clarity on who we are, like, so many things in life become easier. The other thing to do when you’re coming against something that is causing you to be uncomfortable, we all have those things, right? Like, I just don’t even want to think about it. And so I push it away and push it away and push it away. And what happens? What happens is that thing comes back and comes back and comes back. Like, you cannot push stuff away. Your unconscious mind. It’s like scanning for crap in the background different times that could remind you of it.

Betsy [00:18:28]:
It’s so much better to just sit on the thinking couch and be like, I’m going to think about this for 15 minutes. And when I get to the bottle of bottom of it, when I noodle through it all, it’s not nearly as bad as it was when I was avoiding it. And I think we can avoid stuff in order to protect ourselves, to create a sense of safety. Not to create safety, but to create a sense of safety. But safety is really, really knowing who you are and being able to sit in it and to sit with the hard things. And I think to have tools to reprogram your subconscious and your nervous system. Right. How to tell your body that it’s safe.

Betsy [00:19:13]:
So last week I was talking about this. I was talking about this idea of the thinking couch. And so I wanted to come in here and offer that thought to you as well. What is it that you’re avoiding? What is it that you need to look at in a new way? And what is it where you just need to sit down? Sit down and just listen? You know, everything doesn’t have to be really hard, even hard things don’t have to be hard. And the more that I think about current problems and I don’t avoid and I sit with it, the more current problems become blips, easier to figure out and the simpler my days become. And I think being in the groups like I am makes all of that so much easier, because you get attuned with who you are and what you want, and then you get skills and new ways of thinking, and you make a decision on what you adopt and you add in to who you are and what you reject because of your values and your beliefs. And then when you sit on the thinking couch every day, you’re being expanded, right? So now you’ve got new things to contemplate. If somebody gives you their thoughts, their viewpoint on your life, take that to the thinking couch and say, does this fit in with my view of life? Would this lead me to where I want to go? Is this getting me to a life that feels really joyful and good? I was saying to my daughter this morning, we were talking, and she was saying about how this summer, she wants to, like, experience some different things.

Betsy [00:21:12]:
And she said, which what she said, I think is really common for a kid her age, right? A young woman her age, 22. I feel like I’m behind, right? Have you ever felt like that? I have. I feel like I’m behind. And I think that still, sometimes I’m like, at my age, I should be farther along. I don’t even know what that means. Right. That’s fodder for the thinking couch. But she said, I feel like I should be farther along.

Betsy [00:21:37]:
And I said to her, what if you don’t have to worry about where you’ve been and you don’t have to worry about where you’re going, but all you have to do is think about today and make choices that bring you where you really want to go. So, like, every day it’s saying yes to joy. And maybe you make that your thing for the summer. Every day I’m going to find something that brings me to joy, to happiness. But you won’t know what that is if you don’t know who you are, right? We got to spend time with ourselves. And I think she’ll make some mistakes and she’ll learn from those mistakes, but as long as she’s making those decisions, I thought this would bring me joy, but it doesn’t. And now I have contrast and I have more information. So now, tomorrow, when I’m sitting in tomorrow, I can bring that to my experience and say that I thought was a yes, but it was a no.

Betsy [00:22:49]:
And where’s the, where was the disconnect? And how do I fine tune that for today? So all of those thoughts be around a group of people that expands. You know yourself enough to discern where you want to take on that information and what you want to reject. Stay present, find some joy. And when you make a mistake, I’m going to. I’m using air quotes. Make a mistake. When you have a spicy decision, doesn’t turn out the way you thought. When you get contrast and you go, I thought that was going to bring me joy or thought that was going to bring me where I wanted to go, and it didn’t make it mean nothing other than information and thoughts you can bring back to the thinking couch to know yourself at an even greater level.

Betsy [00:23:40]:
All right, I hope this was helpful. If it was, then please share it with somebody that you know and love. All right, thank you guys so much. I will see you all. I will see you all next week. All right, I love you. Bye.

Betsy [00:24:01]:
Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show, and thank you for sharing.

Betsy [00:24:05]:
The show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much.

Betsy [00:24:09]:
And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I.

Betsy [00:24:17]:
Always look to see what the reviews are.

Betsy [00:24:19]:
So it really means a lot to.

Betsy [00:24:20]:
Me that you take a minute to.

Betsy [00:24:21]:
Like, figure out how to even make that happen.

Betsy [00:24:24]:
Now, if you want to find me.

Betsy [00:24:25]:
Find me on social media. I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on TikTok. It’s just my name, Betsy Paik. And that’s my website, too, betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do, having me speak for an event that you might be helping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me, just shoot me a DM. Shoot me a direct message on Instagram.

Betsy [00:24:51]:
And I will be at your service.

Betsy [00:24:53]:
Thanks again for listening, and I will.

Betsy [00:24:55]:
See you all next week.

Today’s show is a coffee talk where Betsy recaps the year and talks about what’s in store for next year.

Transcription:

Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake, and I’m an author, speaker, and a master mindset coach focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of your subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hi, welcome to the show today, I have recorded any raised and recorded any raised. We’re just gonna record and we’re gonna just see how this comes out. So Hi, and welcome. If you’re new here, thanks for being here. If you’ve been here for a while, welcome, welcome. If you’ve been here for a while, and you left me a review recently, let me just tell you that I am so excited. I’m silly. It’s silly, how much I get excited. But thank you. For those reviews. You know, I don’t know, maybe like six weeks ago, I talked about how I had gone into my reviews on on iTunes, and I never usually look. And there were so many unlike I was so there was one in particular that I was so excited about. And I posted or talked about it. And then I went back today and there’s more. And I just appreciate you so much. So thank you, you know, when you’re here doing this, and in so many cases, like I’m exposing so many parts of my life, it’s really nice to know that there are like friendly ears out there. So thank you. Thank you. So over the next couple of weeks, I have some really amazing guests. And so I thought I have things that I want to tell you, but I have these guest interviews that I want to share with you. And so I thought, well, I will do like a coffee talk for this episode. And then the next couple episodes will be some really, really fun interviews. So Coffee Talk, if you’re new here is just where I have like random things to tell you. So we just pretend that we’re at Starbucks, and I’m just telling you the random things that I have to say. And you know, since this is like the last episode of the year that I’ll be like, just talking to you. I have to say it’s, um, I think this this time of year, we start looking back on our year and saying like, how did it go? You know, like, is it good? Was it bad? Like, do I just wanted to hurry up and finish? So I can start next year? Right? I mean, I feel like it’s, it’s that’s sort of the theme that I see on social media and things over the years. But I think these last two years, especially, have been interesting, because I think that our time is skewed. Right? How many people think that the pandemic was not last year? Right? I do that where I’m like, it hasn’t been two years like it does. It doesn’t seem like that. It’s like everything’s very skewed. And it also made us shift from accomplishment. I’m gonna explain what I mean. So I don’t know, do you get a lot of those like, letters, like at the holidays, where people send letters, you know, with like a recap of their year and telling you what everybody’s doing. My dad sends those typically, but not this year. And I’m gonna tell you why I think this is happening. So, um, I don’t send them just because I never get my act together. normally send a card. It’s, I’m so bad with it. I don’t know why. So. So I think that most of the time, when we recap our years in our lives, and we send those letters, or we write in our journal, or we recap the or however we do. I think we do it based on accomplishments, right? Like, these are the things that I did this is the promotion that I got, these are the places I traveled to, this is the college so and so got into right, like we it’s accomplishments. And I think over the last couple years, that accomplishments is what can’t be the focus, because we can’t do the things. It’s, it’s, it’s, it’s had to be like a shift, at least in my mind. That’s how it feels. It has had to be a shift to success, which then makes you reevaluate what is success because I think that what we have done is we have put success onto accomplishments. Like I’ve been successful if I made a certain amount of money, and I’ve, I’ve written the book, and I’ve done the thing, and my kid did this thing and my husband got the promotion and I like whatever it is.

And I think that the last couple years has jumbled that up. And I think that’s really disorienting. You know, as I am looking over my ear, and you probably do this too, right where you look over like it’s kind of like you get this like bird’s eye view of the year and you’re like you deem it like successful or like shit to like, okay success, or I got to get into next year. So I can just start over. And, you know, when I look back over this year Holy smokes, I think a lot of us, right like transitional, like a lot of things coming to the surface, things maybe we were able to avoid or put aside no longer could be avoided. You know, at the end very end of last year I literally it was like the 30th or the 31st of December, I sold my house. And we were to be living here where I live now for one year. And then during this year, figuring out where we were going to go. And then in January, I left for the whole month and I went to California for some training and things. And so when I came back, it felt like my year was starting, like in February. And then really quickly a lot of things shifted, and then my dog died. A few guys remember that episode in April, my dog died, which totally, truly changed. Like the trajectory of my year, so many things that I had been avoiding. I wasn’t able to avoid. And if we were just sitting down having coffee, I would say, I would say to you, like I didn’t realize how much she was like a placeholder for things that I needed in my life. A lot of affection and love, and I did a lot of things with her, my daughter and I joke that she was like, she was like the glue that held this family together. Like as a dog. And then when she was gone, it was such an absence, right. And then it was only like a couple months and my in laws were in that terrible car accident, which brought to the forefront all of the, like fear and, like chaos of when my mom died in a car accident when I was 16. So like the chaos of it, I think really was like, like, you know, like pack your bag, and we got to go like that kind of like was really disorienting. And then, um, I had a, like a breakup, I guess it’s a with a friend, you know how you have really close friends. And I realized that I had really firm boundaries that I didn’t want that I that I could hold with a friend where I felt like if you’re going to be my friend, then this is a minimum of what has to happen. And if that wasn’t happening, I had no problem holding a boundary and saying this isn’t okay anymore. But I didn’t hold that boundary with people that were really close to me. And like my husband, for example. And so there was a lot of things became really disorienting, because I was like, hold on, like, I lost my dog, this chaos came up like that, that poked at chaos that must have still been living in me. And then I could see how I could hold really firm boundaries with with some people and not with other people. And in the end, it was like it was September where I took a whole month off. I didn’t have any podcasts, I hardly posted on social media and I just went inward, I actually decided to leave, I’ve moved out and just realized I needed to do some really deep introspection and figure out what made me happy and what I wanted to do. And there were things that were happening. That didn’t make me happy. You know, I want to have a whole lot more control over what I do with my life where I live, like the decisions that were made. You know, I want I wanted to have a lot of things that I wasn’t getting. And you know, I talked to Craig about me talking about this on the episode but yeah, I just needed to leave and sort things out. And I did come back and it’s still kind of up in the air. I’m, we’re moving through things together. Craig’s really made a lot of changes and has opened up a lot and we’ve done a lot of floating together, floating and therapy and NLP and I hired a NLP coach specifically to help me with some things and just a lot of like introspection, what

do I want? You know, what does he want? Because I sometimes I think, you know, we we can fool ourselves into thinking we’re happy. And it takes a lot of courage to say this isn’t okay anymore, because you’re upsetting the applecart. You’re upsetting a lot of different things in different people. Right and like, it’s it takes a lot of courage to do that. And you know, I share so much about my life. Took it was it was hard because I was like, I I’m not ready to share it, I don’t know what it is to be able to share it. And so I’m on that journey. You know, I extended my lease for just like, two months. So I have, like six weeks left here, I’m moving to the beach, I’m going to the beach, which Beach is still kind of up in the air. What happens with that it’s still kind of up in the air. But I just know that I’m not, I’m not waiting anymore for things that I really want. I heard somebody say to me, you know, this year, I turned 50 Over the summer, and someone said, what will the next decade hold for you? I don’t know whether I was like, the next day like, and then all sudden, I was like, Whoa, like, I’ve stopped really dreaming big, big things. And I, when I left, when I left, I realized that I had stopped dreaming. And I started dreaming. And I saw I got several coaches, I mean, too many coaches, I think at once, I think I signed up for three coaching programs, and not $500 coaching programs, you guys like 1000s and 1000s of dollars. I mean I, I invested in myself because I want to I was like I know I have identified I want to change this, I want to change this, and I want to change this and I am going all in because I’m not going to let a decade go by and a decade starts with today. It’s what I do today, it’s creating my decade, I just was like I’m I’m this is not going this way. I think about like how we show our lives. Like I think about like Instagram, how we show our lives. I have such a love hate relationship with Instagram. I love the words, I love sharing the words, but the pictures always stink, I don’t do I don’t have good pictures. Because I don’t like to show because I don’t want to be here. I want to I want to show you ocean photos every day, I want to show photos of me like kicking the water. Oh my god, the day I move that will be the photo, I post me kicking the water, right, we’re gonna make it as cheesy as possible. But I’m not going to wait anymore. And I think that when I was able to declare that, and say, I’m not doing this anymore. I think that it was so jarring for Craig, that all of a sudden he realized that he was waiting to write like fear or being comfortable or whatever it was, he was able to avoid a lot a lot of things. And then when I disrupted then he had to look at stuff. And you know whether we stay together or we don’t. But our both of our lives will be better. Because because we we paused and looked into what we chose, like what is it you really want? How do you want this next decade to go? So as we kind of close out the year, and you look at how your year when I want you to notice and I’m doing this too, because there’s more in here for me. Where are you letting the fear slow you down? Like where are your decisions made? Not from the joy of that moment of oh, that seems fun, but out of fear. Like I’m telling you I’d like I’m noticing now how much I do this on so many things like Oh, that would be really fun to run that program. Oh, but maybe I wouldn’t get enough people on. Like, you know, I should do a retreat. I did talk to several people about a retreat and how much it would cost me to set it up and we are going to do it. But it was insane the amount to take. I want to do it at a way that’s reasonable for everybody to come. But there’s this point where it’s like, oh, I want to do that seems really fun. Oh, but maybe I wouldn’t get enough tickets sold or maybe not enough people would want to so like fear, right? Making a decision from a place of fear. Like I don’t know where I’m going to be living I need to wait, like, some of that might be real. But there is a point where are you making a decision from joy? Or are you making a decision from

fear? I just I want to there is a healthy, there’s a healthy dose of being aware of what could go wrong because then you can shift so that things go right. Right. But there’s also a like an element of if I What if I just don’t try it then I won’t have to deal with any of that. You’ve heard me say this on the show before. But when I have new problems I get really excited because it means I I’ve moved out of the place I’ve always been. So how can you get some new problems? How can you be fearless and just know problems are gonna come, I want them to be new ones. I just, I think that felt so much better to me. Like, I want some really new problems this year. Like, I want to do some things, I want to explore some beaches. You know, I want to be a lot more mobile and discover what it is that I really want for my next decade. Like we don’t have to just sit down and no, you have to sit down and go, Okay, well, what do I want for my next decade? And then it just magically comes to you? Like, it can unravel? It can reveal itself? Right as you go. That’s okay. And so how can that? How can that happen for you? How can that show up? Where would you need to be? What would you need to need to be doing? Like, would you need to? Would you need to get coaching would you need to get would you need to read some different books would you need to surround yourself with like different ideas or, like, just start a totally different routine, usually I get up in the morning, I get my coffee. And then I sit bed and I journal and do my things. I did some NLP on myself last night. And it was so amazing. Because this morning, I did I immediately gotten my workout clothes, got my coffee, sat on the couch outside and then was like, I’m going to record the show. So like, when we start to shift, right, we start to do things different. So so so that is a loop. So if you start to do things different, you’ll start to shift. I just happened to do it in the middle of the night with NLP because I noticed something about myself that I didn’t want anymore. And, and I’m lucky enough that I could make those changes, and then I could see how it impacted me just a few hours later, it was crazy. But we can make changes in any way that works for us. And whatever tools that you have. You know, um, you may have come to my training, I did a training in December, I’m going to be doing it again in January. I’m going to do it on January 2, which is like a Sunday, I’m going to do it in the evening. If you go to my website, Betsy pake.com, there’ll be a big, like, box there. It’ll say like sign up for the training, I will update it. So it’s January’s link and sign up for the training. Join me January 2, and and see if what I share can start to shift you so that you can actually see the things that are holding you back. I think so many times, you know, when I talked about last night doing NLP, and with my coaching clients, I give them these tools to do. But if, if you’re if you’re feeling like how to like I don’t even know how to like I don’t even know what’s wrong. Like I don’t even know, like in that training, I break it down, there’s like five key elements of things that you have to shift if you want to have a totally different decade, you know, if you want to move, and I call it moving into possibility, like I want possibility in the greatest levels, I want possibility. The other thing that I wanted to tell you while we’re here at Coffee is I wanted to remind you that last year I did a show it was episode 242. And it was how I do my new year’s goal setting. I’m going to go through that process. Again. I’ve taken two weeks off over the next couple of weeks. Super excited about it. I’m going to just read and meditate and float and I’m going to do this New Year’s process. So it’s Episode 242, where I go over that and go through that if that is something that you like, if you want a new process of how do I look at next year, that might be something that would be interesting to you.

So the other things that I have to tell you, oh if you’re I’m, I’m I’m putting together. I’m taking two weeks off but like I am it is my time to dream and create. Okay, so I’m taking off basically from serving and working with my clients. So I am going to be putting together something. I’m not sure yet what exactly it is. I know it will come to me but something special for the people on my text list. So if you are not on my text list, then text me just text the word live big. Do it now so you don’t forget but it’s Here’s the phone number. It’s 770-343-3409 or if you go to my Instagram like right underneath my bio, you know has has like the big buttons that says like message, there’ll be one that says text and you can text me just text me live big. And then probably on the 24th, I will be sending out a link with something special I’m going to put together for the people on the list. So I share that with you, if you want to join us on there. Typically, I send out like one or two messages a week with just like thoughts that I’m getting, from my deep streaming from when I am in my like practice of talking to my inner Knower. So, so yeah, alright, so the last thought that I was having, that I wanted to share while we’re here at Coffee is, um, you know that, you know, that feeling when you’re a kid, and it’s Christmas. And, like, you go to bed. And you’re like, I mean, it’s so hard to go to bed, maybe you remember it, or maybe you have kids that you’ve seen this with. But there’s, you’re so excited, you know, Santas coming. And it’s so hard to fall asleep, like you’re so keyed up. You don’t go to bed till later than you usually do. And then you sleep and then you wake up. And it’s almost like a wave of like, it’s it’s almost feels like anxious, but I would say as an adult as anxious, but as a kid excitement, right? So you’re super excited. You’re like, oh, my gosh, what did Santa bring to that feeling? Is the feeling that anything could happen. That there is some you know, that there is some sort of magic that happened, but you don’t know what it is. And so you’re so excited that you can’t wait to go downstairs or to look in your stocking. My mom always did really good stockings. I don’t know if you guys have good stockings, but I tried to do really good stockings for my daughter, too. I think most of the money goes into this docking. But I get the stocking and like see what’s in it. I mean, that was the most fun, I would sit I would go in my sister’s room and we would sit in bed. And my mom would when dad, my mom would come sit with us whatever my dad would bring the stockings up. And we would both open our stockings at the same time. And I have the best pictures from that. It was like such a good fun memory, the magic, anything could happen. I have no idea. But I know it’s gonna be good. What if that was how we moved through every day? I get it that we might not be like insanely excited, but why not? Like really like that anything could happen, that there could be some magic that I don’t know what will happen. I just know something really amazing is going to happen. Like what if it was like, I don’t know, I’m going to maybe I’ll see Santa. You know, maybe I’ll see somebody, maybe I’ll run into somebody that is like the perfect person I was looking for. Maybe I will have like an amazing interaction with somebody. Maybe I will, like something will come to me and opportunity and idea. Maybe I will see my kid and I will feel so connected. And it will be like a magical interaction. There has to be the best moment with your kid. I was talking to Craig the other day about how we don’t remember. So often, like the last time I was saying I don’t remember the last time that I picked all of up. Like I don’t remember. I mean, she must have been like, who knows? I don’t know, three or four or something. Right? But there was a last time. And if that’s true, however, you would quantify the best time there is a best moment with your kid with your spouse, with your job with strangers. And so couldn’t that be today? Like couldn’t you wake up with this magical excitement?

That Oh my God, who knows what today could be? This could be something really magical. I was getting off the elevator a few days ago, like four days ago, probably. And I was thinking about this. I had been thinking about this for days. And I got off the elevator the elevator opens and there was this woman standing there. I don’t know something about her. I don’t know she just her energy was really good, right? And I said hi and she said hi. And then we wrote down one floor and then we both got off. And then we were head started chit chatting. And then she went right and I went left and I yelled I like you and she was like oh my god, I like you too. And then yesterday I saw her and she was like, hey, super waving Happy Holiday like, magic. I know it sounds so silly. You’re like, okay, that’s weird, Betsy. But why? Why not? Why do we not say? Like I like? I don’t know, it just seemed really normal. Because I was just expecting magical interactions. Like, I don’t know, maybe I’ll never see her again. Maybe I will maybe, you know, who knows, like, who knows what will happen? But I had a magical interaction. It was fun. It like delighted me. And so doesn’t that matter? Like doesn’t matter even if nothing like, quote unquote, comes over that? Because isn’t that what happens on Christmas? You get like, delighted for just a moment what’s in your stocking? Oh my god, there’s a giant navel orange in the toe. Like, but then doesn’t matter. But it matters in that moment, right? Because it delights you and delights you until every year you get a giant navel orange, it’s blocking all the space in the toe that could have been for other things. So what could you have? What kind of magical thing could happen today? Can you be just open to it? Could you just expect it? Because what if you expected it, then? Wouldn’t it happen? You know, I remember things about Christmas like my, you know, my, we would do the stocking thing. We’d go downstairs my mom would make like cinnamon rolls or whatever the heck, she made scrambled eggs and all that my dad would go pick up my grandmother’s and bring my grandmother’s back and then we would all eat together. And that’s like one of my most favorite memories. Like why would that be? Because I was expecting, like magical things because there was like an excitement about it. Because it felt special. But there was nothing special other than I expected it to be special. If you didn’t grow up celebrating Christmas, than Christmas morning, probably didn’t feel that way to you. You may have had other days that felt that way to you. But the only difference is because you were expecting it. So how can you shift so that you start to expect magical excitement in your day. It’s okay, it doesn’t make you frivolous, or silly or overexcited, or anything. So before we close up today, and we go home, I want to just remind you that this season is a really good opportunity for you to notice how you receive. Notice what you expect. Notice how it feels when you receive something notice if you’re open to it, or if there is something closed off about you in it. Notice if you feel like oh, I don’t deserve all that or you didn’t have to do that. I want you to notice where and how I want you to notice how you receive. I was talking to one of my one on one coaching clients a month ago or something and we were talking about how you do one thing is how you do everything. And how you receive is how you receive everything. And this is a really good season to just notice because there’s so much receiving. It’s so obvious. And so you can see not your reaction, although it might be your reaction, but more I want you to notice what your body feels like when you receive like what do you feel like you are worthy of what do you feel like you deserve? Like what do you feel like is okay for you to get or not get

and notice what you’re like rejecting? Maybe it’s love or, or hugs or gifts or just the idea that you look pretty on a Christmas party or something. Like just notice how you’re receiving everything and see if you can identify where that lies in your body. Because when we can do that we can start to understand where that came from. I’m gonna explain this in just a different way. The other day I was I scan I like to scan my body so if I am thinking about doing something right I was talking earlier about then I’m like, Oh, I don’t want to do it because of the fear. I just scan my body I go through my whole Where does that fear lie? Where is it? Oh, is it in my stomach? Is it in my heart? Is it in my arm? Is it down to my ankle? Like, where does it? Where do I feel like that is, then if you really sit with yourself, you can feel it somewhere. And then I asked myself, Where is where did that start? Where did I get that from? And almost immediately, I will think like, Oh, I was 14, I remember this event. Like, it’ll just come to me. And it’ll come to you, too. If you just allow whatever, like, it’ll be a thought. And you’ll be like, Oh, that’s not it. I just made that up. Now, if it just came to you. And then you can heal that thing. You can sit with it for a second, you can talk to that version of you from way back when you were 14, or whatever it was, and just say, how could you see that situation differently? What was the truth? Because the truth when you were 14 in the truth, when you’re 40? are two different things. How can we start to release some of this so that you can receive, so that next year, you can receive all the things that you want, so that you can make the next decade the way you want it to be? So that you could live in a way that feels exciting and magical and full of possibility? Because that’s what we’re designed for. That’s why we’re here. And it can be scary to say, I’m not doing it this way anymore. It takes a lot of courage to say, Nope, this isn’t for me anymore. I have to do it this way, so that I can have this full experience in the way that I think I’m supposed to have it because this life is mine. You might be sharing it with your kids or your spouse or your partner or whatever, but this life is yours. And what do you need to have in order to receive the best year next year moving forward? It’s yours, you just have to claim it.

I love you so much. I hope you have an amazing, amazing holiday season. I hope you like the next couple of weeks with the interviews. They’re really good. They’re

really fun, awesome people. I was really, it was really fun to do them. And please join me, please sign up for the training. If you haven’t seen it yet. Join me for the training, we’re going to be opening up a really cool, really cool program that I’ve put together and I want you to see if it’s for you. You’ll feel it in your body. You’ll know if it’s a yes or if it’s a no. So join me for the free training on on January 2, kick off your year, seeing things in a different way. And, as always, that’s how I think you live a big life. I love you so much. I’ll see you all soon. Thanks so much for listening today. If you want to take a moment to leave us a review on iTunes. Take a quick screenshot before you hit submit and email it over to us at support at Betsy pake.com. And we will send you a special audio hypnosis to help you overcome a limiting belief. Thanks so much and I’ll see you next week.

In today’s episode, Betsy shares some thoughts on 2022, what she’s been up to and how you can think about the year ahead.

Transcription:

Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake, and I’m an author, speaker and a master mindset coach focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of your subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hi, everyone. Welcome, welcome. Welcome to the show today. So today’s a coffee talk episode. I’m having tea though, I’m having peppermint tea. So just a little bit different. No coffee have already been caffeinated. There’s so many things like little things that I’ve just wanted to tell you. And as we head into this next few weeks, I have a lot of really, really great interviews lined up with some really awesome people coming on the show that I want to share with you. And although I’m so excited about that, I was like, I have all these little things I need to tell people. So I need to do this episode so that we can just talk. So if you’re new here, basically, this is like if we met up at Starbucks, and I’m just gonna tell you some stuff that I think that I think you might like to know. So okay, so have you been? I was on. I was on a podcast recently. It was called the wrong advice podcast. And I actually I loved the guy that interviewed me he was so easy to talk to, and really, really fun. But at the end, he did this like, rapid fire thing, you know, where basically he’d ask you questions, and you have to answer with the first thing that comes to mind. And I I actually really love stuff like that, because that’s your unconscious mind. Right? That’s how you speak to your unconscious mind. Like, what comes up first, before your conscious mind, like has this chance to filter it all out? Right and make it look good, you know, or look right for the show. And so he asked me stuff like, What’s your favorite food and I was like pinto beans. Literally. I used to really love pinto beans, but like pinto beans is not something. But apparently, my unconscious mind is a little nostalgic for pinto beans. But one of the things he said is what’s your favorite movie? And I was like serendipity. Have you guys seen that movie? So here’s why I felt like it was important to tell you this before the end of the year because serendipity is like the greatest holiday movie, although my husband says it’s not a holiday movie, but it is it’s set at holiday time. So it is. And it’s with John CUSEC. And it’s just the cutest movie ever. But it’s on Netflix, but overdue only till the end of the year. So I watched it last night and it was so good. And even though I’m one of those people, I don’t know, maybe you’re like this to like, oh, oh, watch a movie. And I will like totally love it. Like totally love it. But after I can’t tell you anything about it. It’s like it just leaves my brain. So every time I watch, it’s like watching for the very first time, which is like thrilling and fun. So I watched it last night. And I mean all the things that were happening. I was like, Oh my God. And Craig was here. And he was like, Why are you surprised? Like you’ve seen this movie so many times. But I was truly shocked and amazed it was so good. So watch some serendipity on Netflix before the end of the year. And listen to that podcast, it’s the wrong advice podcast, it’s called, you know, the other thing that came out in that is that, um, you know, it was sort of there. So he was basically like asking, like, how do you get to the place in your life? You know, like, how do you how do people come to the place where they are. So he sort of wanted like a overview of your life. And I don’t know if you remember this show, or you remember hearing about the show, but it was called This Is Your Life. And they would like play clips of people so that the people on the show would just be watching. And it would give them like this overview of their life and people’s responses to their life and all this stuff. Anyway, I felt a little bit like oh my god, we’re like review. We’re, we’re reviewing my life. But one of the things that he asked me was about, you know, specifically how I got doing this work like it because because I do think it’s, I mean, that’s not something everybody is like obsessed with becoming an expert on the subconscious mind, right? Like, I think there’s interest but I don’t know that everybody chooses Well, whatever people choose, like not everybody chooses what everybody chooses, right. So I Why did I choose this? Like, how did this happened? And one of the things that he asked me was about when I started talking, I offered the story about my daughter. Now if you’ve been here for a while you may have you’ve heard me talk about this over the years. And I had an episode with her. I wish I could remember it off the top of my head, but it’s it was this year it was in the two hundreds. So it’s my daughter talking about her depression and anxiety, which was really, really crippling, like, really crippling. And so we talked about that a little bit. And the question he asked me was, like, how do you stay high vibe in that kind of situation? And I learned how to stay high vibe in that situation. But I felt myself, like scanning the question. And wondering, you know, like I just said, my unconscious mind comes up with an answer, and then my conscious mind scans to make sure that’s appropriate, or that’s right, or will that make me look okay to say that, and all of a sudden, I was like, I’m gonna say the truth. And the truth is, I didn’t stay high vibe. Like it was awful. Like, I totally met the bottom of the barrel and the depths of my soul. But that’s how I learned to bring it all back together. You know, you don’t just learn how to do all that unless you go down to the awfulness, and the really hard bits. And I started thinking about that, because I think one of the things that’s can be really toxic with coaches, or just like celebrities, or any buddy, anybody, anybody that we look to, for, you know, inspiration, or advice or affirmation, and they say, oh, like, I just used my tools, and I just was super hype, like, no, like, that’s not real life. Everybody has highs and lows. I think what makes the difference between people who move out and have a story to share, is that they get resourceful in that low. And it’s okay to get low and stay there for a second. Look, it’s okay to get low and like, have your moment, you know, and then you’ve got to get resourceful, you’ve got to figure out like, what do I do from here, because we don’t want to stay in the low. So I share that with you, in case you’re in a low right now. You know, when he said that, to me, I was like it. I wasn’t high, like I wasn’t high vibe, it’s okay. It’s okay to the holidays can be so hard, like the holidays bring up a lot of things for people. And I think like, knowing that you can sit with this for just a minute, and you can feel all of the pain and struggle in it. And then you can choose to see it another way, then you can choose to get resourceful, you know, you can choose to get help to get therapy to get a coach to do whatever it is that you need to be able to shift out. And that is how you get strength. You’re not just like born with strength, and if everything goes your way all the time, forever, ever, which it doesn’t for anybody. But if it does, then you’re not very strong, because you don’t have to be you know, and, and I do believe that now, like, as my daughter is so happy and like doing stuff like sometimes she’ll call me just to tell me like, happy stuff. But she’s out of school right now in her apartment for a little while before she her apart. That’s a whole story. But she has had an apartment. But when she went to school, she went to the dorms. So now she’s back at her apartment for just a couple of weeks before her her lease is done. And then she’ll come, she’ll stay at her dad’s and probably with me for a little bit. Her daughter has more room than I do. And so in all that she’s at her apartment, so she’s a little lonely. So she’ll call me like, you know, five times a day to tell me something happy. And I’ll tell you it, I’m not going to tell you it’s not like a little like, Okay, I’m trying, you know, it disrupts the flow, but it’s okay. Because I have this contrast. Like even when it disrupts the flow of what I’m doing. Like I think she’s texted since I’ve been talking. Even though it’s coming up. I can go oh my god, this is so great. Like, how cool is this? Because five years ago, four years ago, it wasn’t like this. So now I have this opportunity to see it in a totally different way. I have an opportunity to see my whole life in a totally different way. And so as on the wrong advice podcast, he asked me about that. I just thought it was so amazing. According to say the truth, you know, and I didn’t go into all of the reason why on the show, obviously, but I wanted to share that with you guys, because I want you to know that if right now is hard, it’s okay. Like, it’s okay, maybe you’re coming out of the heart. And that’s amazing. But just know that it’s. And I know I say this, and I’m not trying to belittle where we are when we’re in pain, because I’ve been there I know. And I really do have the belief that everything is working for us, even when it feels and I’m telling you, I’ve felt like, desperate, like there is no out kind of desperate. And I still have that belief that, that I had to be in that for another reason, right? That everything is working in our favor. So even when things don’t look like they’re going the way they’re supposed to go supposed to, like in air quotes, when we can look back, like I’m sure as you now look back on your life, you probably look back on like the whole tapestry and say, Wow, that really did intertwine. And that thing that happened in my 20s actually helped me when I was 32. And I didn’t realize that was going to come back around and everything like, weaves together in this really beautiful way. So I wanted to tell you, I wanted to tell you to watch serendipity eats and send me a pinto bean recipe if you have a good one because I don’t feel like I’ve had pinto beans in a long time. But apparently it’s my favorite. And just know if things are hard, then you’re growing, you’re getting so strong, and it’s going to get better because all things are working in our favor. And actually next week, I’m doing a free training. It’s on my website, if you go to if you go to Betsy pake comm slash links, links. So like, that’s the link I use, like in my bio on all my stuff on my social media, but there’ll be a link there for it, I’ll try to put it on the front page for my website. But there’s a free training, it is on the eighth in the evening at seven o’clock Eastern. And I’m going to talk about possibility and about expanding so that you have the confidence to do the things that you really want to do in the coming year. I think this is so superduper important. I will say that I’m running a new program that is revolutionary, I swear to you, revolutionary coaches, I’ve never ever, ever, ever seen a coach do what I’m going to do. Because and I have a recent but I’ll tell you about that later. So so I’ll we’ll be talking about that, but not till the very end. And and even if you’re like I don’t want to coach but I want to learn like there, there’s gonna be some steps in there, that’ll actually be something that I hope will be a new a different way for you to see, like your problems or your situation. So that you go, Oh, I never thought of it like that. That’s why, right. So I’ve got some things there for you. that I hope will be helpful. So anyway, so join me on that. You can also text me, I feel like I’m giving you all these things to do. You could text me though, if you text me the word ready to 770-343-3409 If you think you want the coaching, you want to learn more like that’s the place to be I promise you, I promise you that you need to be on the text list because of something that’s coming just for the people that are texting. Okay. All right. Okay, so here’s the other thing I wanted to tell you about. I have my list here. But the list I just grabbed is like my list of what I have to get at Target. So hang on, where’s my list? Okay, I know. Okay, so I was I talked about this inside my free Facebook group. I don’t know why I just called it a free Facebook group, our Facebook groups, maybe some are paid. Okay. So here’s what I was talking about. A couple days ago, and something I wanted to share this like idea, right? As we’re talking here at Starbucks and having a little coffee chat. When I started thinking about resolutions for next year, I It felt really really heavy to me. I don’t know if you’re like a goal setter, I love goal I love like the freshness of the new year. Like I love Mondays, the start of a new month. I mean, even like a new moon cycle. I’m like, ooh, like I love the opportunity. Like the outside of me opportunity that says oh, you can start fresh. Like I love that. And so typically, I really love New Year’s resolutions. I think I’ve always done them a little bit different from other people. Because as we know, resolutions don’t really work in the way that most people set them up. And I’ll talk about that in the training but I started thinking about this and what do I want to do like would feel like a better way to set up my resolutions. So I wanted to quickly kind of go over that with you guys. I I remember when my daughter was sick, like, I couldn’t plan anything like it couldn’t do a resolution where I had to have a plan like that just it was not feasible at all. And so and so at that time, what I would do is I took my life and I broke it down into like buckets. And like, for me, the buckets are like, my relationships, like with my daughter and my extended family like friends, those kinds of things. And then my romantic relationship, right? So with my husband, or your partner or whatever. And then spiritual finances, health and fitness, giving back if that’s a component of your life. What else there was something else Anyway, come up with your buckets? Like what are the buckets of your life? Oh, spirit spirituality? Did I say that anyway, come up with the buckets for your life, like what are the components. And then what I want you to do is to just rate each one on a scale of one to 10. So 10 is like I am killing it in this area. And one is like, oh my gosh, this is so far gone, there’s a lot of work to do. No shame, no matter where you are doesn’t matter. And nobody has to see the list. But just break down your buckets, and then rate every area from one to 10. And then what I like to do is I look at it and I say like which one is the lowest number because that’s probably where I would have a biggest impact. Because if you’re thinking about it, I don’t want my life to just be like, amazing with health and fitness, but have my relationships suck, have no money, have no spiritual like, look, I don’t want that I want everything to be in balance. And for me, I don’t know that I would ever ever be at a 10 in everything. Maybe in anything, right? Maybe I don’t know, I’m not attending anything right now. So, but what I want is like a cohesiveness to it, right. Like if everything was like an eight and seven, eight, that would feel really good to me high eight, that would feel good. So I’m okay if something’s a two because there’s a lot of room to improve. Like, if I moved the needle on that up to a six, like that would have a huge impact on my life and on balance. Right and on making me feel good. So what I like to do is to just rate everything one to 10. And then notice the areas where I could have the biggest impact, and then really break down like what are all the things like what are all the options, and I was telling everybody in the Facebook group the other day to set a timer. I believe in this so much from an unconscious mind perspective, because when we set a timer, our brains go, Okay, well, I’m gonna keep doing it until this is the timer’s over, right. If you don’t do that, then you’re going to come up with the list of the things that were like top of mind. And then you’ll be like, Okay, well, I’m done. There’s nothing new here. But if you set a timer, your mind is going to go through this like or I’ve got to come up with more. And for me, what usually happens is then I start thinking about stuff that has nothing to do with the list, right? I write those things down too, because it gets them out. And then like this new batch of ideas come, I have something I called the chase worksheet, and it’s free on my website. But I wrote it, I made it when I wrote my book, start small, live big. Honestly, I use this, I use the chase worksheet almost every day. Like I have an iPad, I have an iPad, where I use, I put everything. And inside good notes, I have a folder that’s just with my Chase worksheets. And I just use them all the time. It’s how I, I get my work through problems. It’s how I get creative, all of those things. So um, I had a client a few years ago that said, this form is bananas. And it’s so simple, like you don’t even need the form to do it. But it’s helpful, I think just as a guide, but it is bananas. And you should have a life. That’s bananas. Right? So that’s just a new way to think about 2022 instead, and if you want to set resolutions like do it, do it. If you want to have like a word of the year, like do it totally. But if you’re like all of that feels heavy, like we’ve been going through a lot the last couple years. As a collective, there’s a lot of heaviness. There’s a lot of fighting, right, there’s a lot of like disruption. And so it just feels better to look at everything like Like adding like a breathing ball of cohesiveness in your life, and we just want to be constantly working on expanding that, then maybe this will be a good option for you. Okay, as I was saying that working on expanding that I remembered something I wanted to tell you guys too. You know, um, my friend Trish from Episode 208. I, she’s like, she’s been a friend of mine for so long. And she’s also one of those friends. Like, we might not talk for six weeks, and then we’ll talk No, be like we talked two hours ago, you know, that’s the best kind of friend, I think. So anyway, she called me the other day and said, Hey, I’ve been thinking about you. And I think you should float. I was like, Okay, I mean, I haven’t talked to in a long time, let’s Okay, Let’s float, I’m gonna go float. So if you don’t, if you’re not familiar with that, it is a place where you go, I went to a place called float, Atlanta. And they have these giant tanks of water, that it’s salt water, they put Epsom salt in it so that it mimics the Dead Sea. And if you’re familiar with the Dead Sea, you can go out there and float, you actually don’t sink in the water, you just float. And so they have these tanks set up as sensory deprivation tanks. And you go in and it’s dark, and there’s no sound and you float and the temperature of the air and the temperature of the water is your skin temperature. So you can’t tell where you start and end. And so there’s no and you put in earplugs so there’s no nothing in you float for an hour. I think they do 90 minute sessions, too. So last Sunday is when she told me that and so I immediately found a full place online and I booked and I booked for that day. So when Trish says to do something, I do it. The one thing she told me to do was to years ago, she told me to get acupuncture, and I didn’t really like that. But she said I know you didn’t like the acupuncture, but I feel like you should float. You’ve got to, you’ve got to push your vibration out. She kept saying, and I don’t know if you can hear it in my voice, but I can feel it that I feel so much more expansive. So okay, so let me go back. So I, um, I may drink my tea. So I went on Sunday. And I will tell you, honestly, the the the tank. So there’s different kinds of tanks, there’s like the pod, you may have seen them, right? It’s like a pod you go and you close the cover. But now like the new thing is that it’s a little room. So you go in the room, and you float. So it’s like open air. So you’re not like in like a pod, which I actually really liked. But the thing is, with floating, I was like I mean, this is good. It was cool. I mean, I like to relax, some I like to meditate, like I was like this is good. And I really focused on like cleaning out my energy, I had just a lot of gunk in my energy field. And I just cleaned all of that out. And then I imagined pushing, pushing, pushing my vibration out farther and farther and farther. So that’s what I was told to do by Trish was to expand my vibration. So I just really worked on that the whole time. And that was great. It was great. But then the next day, I was like, I feel amazing, like, holy smokes, I feel so good. And you know, you have heard me talk over the last few months that I’ve been going through, like some really hard stuff since like August, probably since like, April when my dog died. That’s the avalanche that created everything that I’ve been going through. And I’ll talk about it at some point. But as I as I was thinking about it, I was like that has, like my nervous system has been so tweaked out. And maybe you’ve had this too, right? I mean, I feel like maybe we all have in the past few years. Right? But like I didn’t, I haven’t had a chance to just completely disconnect. Right, like totally disconnect. So like the next day. I was like I I mean I feel amazed like I mean, you know, I’m like walking around the neighborhood and talking to strangers and like kissing babies pet dogs like gums, so high vibration, like I can just give it away. Right? And then the next day, same same damn thing. I mean, I was like, This is amazing. I’m like, I have the energy to show up in my groups again, like I just mean things I’ve been wanting to do, but like, just so so good. So then Wednesday, I was like trying to do some work. And I couldn’t stop thinking about floating. It was sort of like obsessed. Like I was like oh my god. So from that was like Betsy, if that’s what you keep thinking about go do it. So I went and floated again on Wednesday afternoon. went online, they had a spot when Wednesday afternoon. This time when I got there, I got there like 10 minutes early and the woman was like there’s nobody right after you do you want some extra time. So she actually ended up giving me 10 minutes on each side. So I ended up going an hour and 20 minutes. Now, the first time I went, I kind of I was aware of the time. You know, towards the end, I was like, this has got to begin over. You know, like I said, it was fine. But this time, this time, I was like, blissed out. amazingness like I could float for 10 days don’t disturb me, this is the greatest thing I’ve ever felt. And then when the lights, you know, the music kind of started to come on, and the lights slowly start coming on. I was like, oh my god, I can’t believe I’m done. And then when I looked at the time, I was like, I cannot believe how long I was in there. blissed out feels so good. I’m going back on Sunday. So also my new like, hardcore goal. I have been wanting to like, I don’t know where I want to live. You know, my lease is coming up. I gotta move. Like which beach? I don’t know. Now. I’m like, I need to buy a house so that I can buy a $30,000 float tank. I mean, like, that’s the level of obsession I need to flow every day. Then I started thinking like, I wonder if I bought 30 flutes, if I could get like a discount, and I could flute every day for like a month as like an experiment to see what would happen. Like, I mean, that’s the that’s how obsessed I am. So I wanted to tell you that because if you’ve never floated, but you feel called like you’re like, Ooh, that sounds really cool. Please try. And if you try, please let me know. Because I really want to know how it goes. I like full on obsession. It’s so good. You know, I like I’ll say it again. But I’ve been meditating for a long, long time. I mean, years and years. And it’s great and necessary. And there was like something different about that experience. So here’s what’s coming to me as I’m talking. I watched this special the other day on iOS CO or on it wasn’t on iOS, because specifically it was on like psychedelics and what it actually does to your brain. And if you’ve listened to my episode, where I had signed up to do ayahuasca, that’s a few episodes back a couple months back, it’s an August, I think, and why I didn’t do it. Anyway, as I was like, watching this is fascinating, and how it creates all of these attachments in your brain, like your brain starts communicating, not in the normal pattern, but like all over your head, everything starts communicating when you do psychedelics, basically. And that’s, like, what gives people these like spiritual experiences. And like all of this, it’s, it’s like your brain making all these really cool connections. I need to check. But as I was sitting here talking to you, I was like, I, I wonder, you know, with meditation, I think there are different connections being made. But with floating, I wonder if it just, like, amps it up. I feel like it’s like on that path. Like if the there’s a continuum, where like, psychedelics are way down on one end, right? And like, just sitting here being in beta brainwaves is like on the other end? Like, I feel like maybe it’s like, on the path, like closer to that than meditation? You know what I mean? I don’t know. I’m not sure. I don’t know. So please, please come to my training next week, I really want to see you, I want to see everybody’s face on the Zoom. I just think that will be really fun to see everybody. I have a lot of cool things to share that I really think will help you start to think different about your life. And at the end, if we want to chat a little bit, or you have questions, like absolutely, I will be there and we can connect in that way. So I hope that you all had a really, if you’re in the United States, you had a really amazing Thanksgiving, I hope your holidays are gearing up and you’re feeling good. I know this can be a really hard time for people to so just know that all things are working in our favor, not to avoid or push away any of your emotion. It’s all so valid and necessary and part of you earning your stripes, right getting that strength. And you’re super powerful, and you can do this. Alright, I love you all so much. I will see you all next week. And until then, keep living big. Thanks so much for listening today. If you want to take a moment to leave us a review on iTunes. Take a quick screenshot before you hit submit and email it over to us at support at Betsy pake.com and we will send you a special audio hypnosis to help you overcome a limiting belief Thanks so much and I’ll see you next week.

Today Betsy talks about your story and how you are replaying the past over and over.

To join the text list, text the word READY to 770-343-3409

transcription:

Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake, and I’m an author, speaker and a master mindset coach focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of your subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hello fellow adventurers. Hello, hello, I’m excited that you’re here with me today, if you’re new here, or if you’ve been here for a little while, but you haven’t heard why I say hello fellow adventurers, it just occurred to me that it might be a good time to like, go back to that for just a second. So I believe, and I think this comes through in a lot of the ways that I teach and talk on the show. But I believe that we are here as spiritual beings having this physical experience, and that it’s an adventure. And in that vein, I think it kind of clicks into what I want to talk about today, which is, this is a this adventure is a choice. It’s a choice that we made, I believe that we made to come at this specific time, with a lot of these specific challenges. And we came to experience like really great highs and really great lows. And to dive into that a little further, I believe that when we start to dull, the really big lows, when we don’t want to go into those when we avoid those. It also does the other side of that it dulls the amount of joy and the amount of happiness, and all of that that we can experience in our lives. So when I say hello fellow adventurers, it’s because I believe that we are on this adventure together having this human experience and that we’re here to, to experience all of it all the good and bad. So this has been a really strange season for me. And I say strange, because it really caused me to recoil, you may have sensed that, like if you follow me on social media, or you’ve been here on the show for a long time. Back in August, I had some things happen in my life that just caused me to recoil. And now here it is Thanksgiving time. And I feel as though I finally am able to like step out of that, like protective shell, so to speak, I think that this happens in our lives a lot, where we suddenly feel like the soft underbelly of ourselves exposed. And we feel like we need to protect and part of protection for me, for somebody that shares so much of themselves was really to like recoil and to be really selective about who and where I shared the parts of myself that I was ready to share. And this has been a really interesting experience. In fact, as low, as low as it’s been, it’s been such an incredible period of growth. And when I say that I am recording this podcast right now, like so different than I was in August, when I recorded a podcast like, it is so different. There have been so many things that have happened, that transformed, you know, the transformed the way I was experiencing my life. And you may have times like that, you know, maybe you can look back over your timeline and be like, you know, that time in my life, I changed a lot or that thing was so big, that it really impacted me and I never really was the same after that. And, and if you’ve experienced that, then you know what I’m talking about where just things are different. Now in all of that. I have gotten some incredible coaches, I’ve stepped forward and I call it self selecting where I have self selected but I have chosen myself and said I’m going to put the emphasis here on this piece of growth that I want to have. I have done a lot of NLP I hired an NLP coach. I hired I, I entered part of a mastermind and I hired us another specific coach just for me. So three, three different coaches plus a therapist. So a team when I say a pit crew, I am telling you I’ve hired a pit crew. I’ve spent 1000s and 1000s and 1000s and 1000s and 1000s of dollars and it was the best, like the best I could not sit here right now. And be in This place of like metamorphosis without having done that. Through all of that, what I want to talk about today, what I really want to talk about today is how letting go, is how you actually call in more, you know, you probably have like hopes and dreams and things you’d really like to have for your life. And, you know, it’s getting close to the new year and every new year, you know, it’s the time where most a majority I think of people set some kind of resolution or they have a word or an intention for the year, right? Well, how do you get that thing, like what makes the New Year different than any other time? Because chances are, you’ve wanted the thing long before the new year, a long before the time where you committed to the goal. And so one of the things that I think happens is that we become very, very connected to our story. You know, I know this for me over the past four months, what hasn’t really happened is an undoing. It is an undoing, and a letting go of my story, the story that I had around who I was and why I showed up in certain ways and, and how I reacted to things. It whether I was it was a conscious story, or an unconscious Story, the Story existed in that is how I built my life and my patterns and my reactions around. You know, every time I work with a client, that’s one of the very first things that we talk about is like, what’s the story around that? Because and I believe this, I believe this and I and I say this with compassion because I had to feel it myself. But our, our reality, reality, or reality is neutral. And I see reality as like, what’s happening around us as neutral. But it’s our story that gives it meaning. Now that meaning can be something really impactful and wonderful. And we need the story to create meaning out of what’s happening in our lives. But in the end, the event itself is neutral. This is how come some people can have really big reactions to something and someone else is like man a big deal to the same exact thing. Right? It’s because our history around it, our past patterns, our past experience, the story around it is different. And so as I have been going through these past four months in this metamorphosis, and when I tell you, I I, I had some NLP earlier in the week. And within like, a couple days, I was like, oh, like, whoa, like something we did a lot of identity work in that session. And I could feel it was almost like a palpable shift. Now, what was I really feeling the shift around was how my unconscious mind was organizing the story. So one day when I woke up this week, and I was like, I feel so different. It’s because I was perceiving my reality in a different way. My reality hasn’t changed. But how I’m perceiving it is totally different. And that’s what causes the change. Who was it Dr. Dyer, right, Dr. Wayne Dyer, who said when you change the way you look at things, the way the things you look at change. And that’s like a way more eloquent way to say exactly what I’m saying here. But when I want to create something more when I have that resolution, when I have the thing in my life that I want to change. When I have when I know, not this, I don’t want this, I want that. Or even if I don’t even get to that point where I just don’t know, just not this right. Step one is knowing not this. Step two is knowing I want that instead. But even if I just have step one, the key to letting it go. And, and calling in more is changing the story. And so actually identifying the story is going to be the first step in that process. So identifying what the story actually is and chances are you have said the story a million times you’ve talked about the story a million times you’ve probably told friends or perhaps it’s not even available to you. You just know that it’s what it is. This is when I think like a really good coach comes in handy. This is why I hired some because I needed to say the story and have them poke at the part that I didn’t see or the part challenge me on the parts that they could tell were holding me back. And I think that when we can do that work, when we can start to change the story, suddenly we can like, take a big deep breath. And things begin to unfold in a different way. Now, here’s the key to all of the reason why the story is so important is because when the story changes, for me, whether it’s conscious or unconscious, when the story changes, my reactions are different. My facial expressions are different. My habits around it are different. The way I see it in the future is different. The way my unconscious mind expects things is different. Did you know that your unconscious mind has a map already of the future? It’s true, it already knows what’s going to happen to you next week, next month. This is why we experienced so much of the same thing over and over again. So where does it get that map? It gets that map from your past. So it’s basically just like rerunning the railroad track, you know, flopping the there’s a cartoon, I wish I could remember what it was, but it’s coming to me right now, where it’s like, the the railroad track is being flopped down in front, and the little character is moving forward. And then they’re pulling the railroad track from behind them, and then moving it back in front of them. And so it’s basically like, they’re just on a wheel, you know, it’s just going and going and going. That’s what our unconscious mind does. It takes the past and it goes, well, let’s take this as a template and just flop it into the future. And so when I want something different, I’m like, How come? I don’t see it? How come? It’s not happening? Why isn’t it coming to me? How come I can’t call in what I want? Well, it’s because it like just, you know, like, it’s just pointing to the past. It’s taking that past and just flopping it over. And so the first step in shifting that is really seeing the story and changing the story. And so the work that I have been doing over the past four months is changing the story. And it has been like heartbreaking, and stressful and overwhelming. There have been times where I’ve laughed and cried and screamed of frustration. But in the ends, when I finally was able to do it, when I was finally able to make that shift, it felt like suddenly I was a boiled potato, like a soft potato, where I could, I could pick the story and then mush myself into that story. And that story could be the story of celebration and the story of victory. And the story of overcoming and the story of growing and the story of like, be like celebrating like my hands in the air is the vision I’m getting like I did it. Like I can be now the thing that I want to be and I thought I could be the thing I wanted to be before. But I knew there was like a little something that was holding me back. And I didn’t know what it was. And I feel like when I really started paying attention, and I recognized the story, and I could say I have a boundary around that I don’t like this, I don’t want that. Then I could break everything apart and put it back together the way that I wanted. Now, I am trained. I’m an expert in doing this work. I’m an expert, like I have so much training, it would boggle your mind. And I had to hire a coach. Because these kinds of big shifts just can’t be done on our own it would it I take that back. It could be done. It would just take so freaking long I would get worn out and burned out. And I would need to retreat into nothingness and just live my life, like doing something different than my dreams. And I believe that if I hadn’t gotten help, then my life would have been fine. But I don’t want fine. I don’t want mediocre. I don’t want just okay. I don’t want to be an old lady and look back and go. I wish I just tried that. I wish I’d done it. I wish I had accomplished like those hopes and dreams and things that I had for my life. And now I feel like it can end if I can then you can. If you have hopes and dreams and things that you want. That you know could be possible. Maybe you’ve maybe you’ve let those slip away a little bit. Maybe you haven’t visited them. Maybe it’s time to pull them out of your back pocket. Be like what is that old version of me that wanted this thing? Is she still there? Okay, As I bring her back out, and breathe some life into her and create a new possibility moving forward, I fully fully believe that 2022 is supposed to be like an incredible, incredible year of, of victory for people, I think the last couple years, maybe even last five years have been a lot of breaking things down. And I believe that 2022 is going to be an incredible place of bringing it all together if you’re ready. And I think that’s going to make the difference. If you’re ready, then the world is going to step up to meet you, you know, the universe is going to be here to support you. And if you’re not ready, then you’ll just stay in the pattern, right, the railroad track being pulled out from behind you and pushed in front of you. And you’d be kind of on this hamster wheel. So I know for me, I’ve got some really big plans. And I know for you that if you have big plans, you can do those things too. So I want you to tell if you’re in in the United States, text me the word ready, I’m going to be taking a group of people through an extraordinary process. And if you want the information on that, you’re going to want to be on the text list. And here’s why you’re going to be want to be on the text list. Because the people on the text list are going to get early access. And I think it’s going to fill up really fast. There’s already over 100 people on the waitlist. So if you want to be on that list, text the word ready to 770-343-3409. Now, if you’re in Canada, or you’re somewhere else, just email us at support at Betsy pake.com. And we have been collecting a bunch of emails of people that are outside the United States that can’t get on the text list. So text me the word ready 27703 43 3409. And I will make sure you have all the early information now is my way the only way? No, it’s not. It’s not. But I’ve been through it. I’ve been through it. I’ve been through it several times in my life, up leveling and opening up to new above like opening up to new. And now that it is so fresh. Now that it’s so fresh, it is the perfect spot to bring you through it too. So I believe that when we do this when we look at our stories, and we say what’s the story I have? And is this story serving me. That’s when we can harness possibility that’s when we can say yes to something new. And that I think is how you live a big life. So if you want to go through this process with me or just hear more about it, text me the word ready. And I will see you all next week. Have an awesome week. I love you so much. Bye. Thanks so much for listening today. If you want to take a moment to leave us a review on iTunes. Take a quick screenshot before you hit submit and email it over to us at support at Betsy pake.com. And we will send you a special audio hypnosis to help you overcome a limiting belief. Thanks so much and I’ll see you next week.

Today Betsy talks about taking risks and how your nervous system processes these big changes.

Transcription:

Hello fellow adventurers, welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome to today’s show. If you’re new here, I’m Betsy pake. I’m an author, speaker, a subconscious change expert. I don’t know I love, I just love people. So I’m happy you’re here with me today. So this is what I wanted to talk about today.

The idea that in order to discover possibility, you have to be willing to take risks.

In order to discover possibility, you have to be willing to take risks. I was laying in bed this morning. And I was just thinking about, like, the level of tweaking Enos, I’ve been feeling the last like 24 hours, we are doing a lot of really cool things coming up for 2022. Like, there’s a lot of really quickly, let me back up, I’m going to come back to this moment in my bed. But let me back up. In June, I sat outside, it was a beautiful day, I was sitting on this little day bed on my patio, my little balcony, and my building. And I thought, oh my god, it’s the end of June. And if something doesn’t change, I’m going to have the same exact year that I had, like every other year, right? Let things change a little bit, but like not that much. And I’ve been steadily working towards my goals. In fact, I think if somebody saw me from the outside, they’d be like, well, she’s had like, some accomplishments, like she’s done some stuff. But when I was sitting there in June, I was like, oh, it’s it is like new. I’m using air quotes, new accomplishments. I use that word specifically, instead of success. I’m going to talk about that. But I’ve had some accomplishments, we made the oracle cards, which were really cool. I’ve built my community like, accomplishments that you would look at you could point to, and say that, that you did that. But it felt like the natural trajectory. Does that make sense? So like, of course, that next thing happened. And of course, that next thing happened. And of course, that next thing, Kim, and I wanted possibility I wanted like expansiveness I wanted to take a leap. I wanted somebody to go, Oh, my God, that happened all of a sudden, not because I wanted you to go, Oh, my God, that happened all of a sudden, but because I wanted to know what that felt like.

I wanted to know what that felt like.

And so when I sat there in June, I was like, we’re not doing this anymore. And I made a list.

And honestly, I made a list, which was great. But I realized that everything I put on the list, I’ve checked off the list at this point. Because what we really want

can’t be put on a list. Because if we are really stepping into possibility, we can’t write it down. Because it’s, it’s a piece of possibility. It’s unknown to us yet. And that’s where the magic is. It’s in the unknown. You know, when we feel that like wobbly, like oh my god, I’m in the middle of this. I don’t know what’s gonna happen. Magic. That’s magic time, because anything could happen. It could be something you’ve never ever experienced before. And that’s what can feel really, really cool. Now, I know sometimes when we’re in that middle of that liminal space, it doesn’t feel cool. Which brings me to my moment. I was laying in bed this morning. And I was like, in the last 60 days, I have been

gearing my I have been priming my jumping muscles. Does that make sense? So I have been like,

like doing the air squats to get ready for this leap that is happening now the LEAP is happening. And that feels so different. And so when I laid there in bed this morning, and I was like, oh my god the last 24 hours.

It feels so uncomfortable.

And I realized that when we get to that point where it’s like, it’s a little uncomfortable, like I’m not sure what’s going to happen.

Anything could happen. I don’t know how it’s going to end up. And I have just been moving forward. Just moving forward taking that next thing the next thing as it unfolds. I told you last week I’ve been working on this like really cool, like thing that I wanted to do for a long time and it’s like going to be magical and amazing it in fact, let me pause for one second if you want

There’s going to be a limited number of spots. And I think there’s already like 98 or 99 people on the waitlist.

If you want to get early notification text me if you’re in the United States text me, just text the word ready.

Do it now. So you don’t forget ready to 770-343-3409 770-343-3409 Text me just the word ready, and it will put you into this. It’s my text community, once a week or twice a week, you’ll get a text from me, but that will put you into the early notification about this leap. This really cool leap that I have been preparing for you guys. So I laid in bed this morning. And I was like, the, the, the push and pull of being in what is familiar and breathing through what is uncomfortable.

And I want to talk to you about that piece of uncomfortableness. Because you might have that in your life, it may be that you’re uncomfortable, because you’re not liking where you are.

When we can understand that, knowing where we’re going begins with knowing that where we are isn’t okay. Sometimes we don’t know where it is that we’re off to, I’m going to take this leap, and I don’t know where I’m going to land. But what I do know is not this,

not this.

And so as you’re sitting there, perhaps with me, in the uncomfortable the moment where you’re like, I’m not doing the same thing over and over again.

Right, like, I’m not going,

you know, I like New Year’s and all of the things. So I’m going to use that as an example. But it doesn’t matter what the beginning air quotes beginning of your transformation is.

I love like 2022 Thinking about that. And if you’re listening to this, and it’s 2023, it doesn’t matter. It’s the start, it’s like a rebirth, a start of something new it gives you it gives you the permission

to start to dream differently, doesn’t it?

I mean, this is why we love like, a new month, I’m going to do this thing, a new year, we’re going to do this thing a new quarter, right, like, depending on what you do for work, your world may be divided into quarters, like whatever that thing is, when it is a fresh start, when it is something new, it gives you permission.

It gives you permission.

So I want to talk to you if you’ve got that little piece of uncomfortableness in you.

And you’re like, I know just not this. I’m not sure what is out there. Perfect. Because you’re in that moment where it’s possibility where anything is possible. Now, here’s the here is the place where everybody goes wrong.

Are you ready? So this is what everybody does wrong. I’m not comfortable. I don’t like this, I’m going to change. And they change enough so that they’re out of the uncomfortable. But they’re still they’re out of the thing. That’s like the irritant, right, but they’re still in the realm of what they’re used to.

So I’m moving away from this thing I don’t like I’m getting rid of this thing I don’t like, but I’m only removing it. I’m not really changing my trajectory all that much. Here’s why that happens is we’re we’re primed to stay in something that feels comfortable. Honestly, when we’re really comfortable that feels, I’m using air quotes, again, aligned, it feels aligned, because it feels normal.

Sometimes even bad, feels normal. And so we stay in bed, because we’re like, well, I might be in hell, but at least all the street signs look familiar.

When we can shift and say not only, not only am I going to move out of this.

But now I’m actually going to consciously choose something outside of where I’ve been and I’m going to make that the thing that’s comfortable. I’m going to change I’m going to change

who I am on an identity level. Like what I think I’m worthy of what my boundaries are how I show up for people, how I show up for myself what I think about how what thoughts I linger on

All of those things are wrapped up in my identity and who I am.

And when I can consciously choose that, I get to move outside of that bubble, I get to not only say, not that, but I say, give me possibility.

Give me expansion, give me a new world.

For next year, give me something different that I can be thrilled by something that I can like jump out of bed and be like, this is all new. And this feels fun, the novelty of it, and the fact that I get to consciously choose, you might see people you might be scrolling on Instagram, you might be on Facebook, whatever it is you’re doing, and you see something and you’re like, how did they always do that?

Why did they get that excitement.

But if you see it, and you feel that, that means it’s in you,

that means it’s, it is completely inside, you’re waiting for you

to go, I’m going to expand outside of this comfortableness.

Because if it’s if you are comfortable, and you don’t have the thing, it’s because it’s outside of what’s comfortable, and you have to get Okay, being comfortable.

When I laid in bed this morning, and I was like so uncomfortable, like risks, I’m taking huge risks, monetary risks, like emotional risks, I’m changing and growing, I’m showing up, I’ve, I’ve put money into coaching to help me expand outside of this area.

Very, I’m connecting with people that I wouldn’t have connected with before I’m doing the things.

And so without a doubt, I’m seeing different things happening. I’m seeing different connections and opportunities and possibilities outside of me that I wouldn’t have seen before, even though they were there.

Yeah, so even though those things were there, those people I’m connecting with those opportunities I’m connecting with, they were always there.

But I could not see them, I could not magnetize them to me, I could not expand into the person that had those experiences. Because I was staying the same.

I have to think different. I have to have different actions on a micro level, how do I do that? I shift my unconscious mind I change on an identity level and I begin to be someone different.

So in order to discover possibility, you have to be willing to take risks. So let me ask you, is there something in your life right now that that’s not okay?

Is there something that you want to change?

And then let me ask you this? Are you willing to risk?

Are you willing to take a leap? And how big of a leap?

How much change Are you prepared for here’s another way to ask that

is your nervous system ready for that level of shifting, and if it’s not, and you want change, you’ve got to create an environment where your nervous system is primed here. Here’s what I mean when I say your nervous system.

When I when I teach NLP to people, Neuro Linguistic Programming, when I teach people to be coaches,

I have this image of like a shadow of a head, right? So if you could imagine a head and all of this information is coming in to the head, right? So you sitting there, all this information is coming into you right now listening to me, right? You’re getting sounds you’re getting,

you’re probably feeling a physical touch, right? You’re sitting you’re feeling that there’s probably things visual things that you’re looking at, maybe you’re driving, maybe you’re going for a walk, whatever it is right

there, you might be smelling something, you might be tasting something you have gum in your mouth, you eat lunch, like all of these things are coming in to your nervous system.

And then your mind.

Your unconscious sifts through all of this stuff. You know, when kids go and play on the beach, and they have the sand and they take big, they have like they’re making the sand castles and they have the little sifter and they can they sift through the sand and the sand falls through. Most of it falls right through. There’s a few little granules that stick

Day in the sifter, that’s what your unconscious mind does, most of it falls right through

everything you’re taking in right now, everything you’re experiencing,

most of it is falling right through because you can’t, consciously unconsciously you can’t process that much information. So your mind your unconscious mind has some directives. And one of those things that it does is it deletes, distorts, and it generalizes things. Because it can’t process all of that stuff coming in. So do you think

that if a little kid is sifting on the beach, that any of the sand that’s going through and falling back might have like, a little piece of

like crystal in it? Or might be an unusual piece of sand, like maybe a totally clear piece of sand and not like sand colored sand? Right? Could it be that there’s something kind of cool that’s being sifted out, that might be like a fun treasure, a little, tiny piece of shell.

So what happens is, when we are so primed, our nervous system is primed to sift and just save these few little things that are normal.

It’s like our brain is that sifter, and it just catches the stuff we already know. So this is familiar, I’m primed for this, I know how to reach for this, I know that this is something I’m supposed to have, this is something I’m supposed to do. This is something I’m supposed to notice. I’m so used to this.

But then we sit out on our day bed on the patio and think I want something new.

I want something that’s deeper, or more exciting, or thrilling, or more fulfilling, or more connected. I want to feel stable, I want to feel sure of myself, I want to feel super confident, I want to be able to go do things that I’ve always dreamed of I want to have experiences.

You got to prime your nervous system to catch it.

Because if not, it’s going to get sifted right away. sifted right through. Now there are specific things we can do so that you are changing that, catching those things.

And then you do and you go, Oh my god, I get a little piece of shell, how did I get that little piece of shell is so cool. It’s like magic.

And I know that that’s how it feels, because that’s how I experienced it too. Yet I know that it’s not, I know that those little pieces of shell were always being sifted through, I just didn’t notice them because I wasn’t ready.

So when we can shift so that we are ready, we can start to catch those things. And then we can start to discover this possibility. But we have to be willing to risk, we have to be willing to step outside of where we are, grab something new. And we have to have our nervous system primed to accept it, to see it to notice it to go, oh, hang on to that.

And there are really strategic ways there is a pathway and a blueprint to be able to do that.

And so that is the work that I’ve been doing. So when I laid there this morning, and I was like holy smokes my whole, my whole body felt like I was like me, you know, not really in a good way, I’ll be honest, my nervous system is still adapting. And so I’m having to do things to say, this is okay, this feels new. But this is safe. And this is good. And I’m going to just keep going. And I’m going to consciously shift over and over and over again to what it is I want and how the outcome is going to be

ensures all things are starting to come. It’s interesting, because when I do this work with other people, and now I see it here in myself this week. When I do this work, and I shift, people reach out to me and say, Hey, can you do this for me? Can you? What about this? Do you want to take part in this? I’d love to have you be involved in this thing.

And I’m like, why didn’t you ask before because my nervous system wasn’t ready. So I wasn’t giving out

the same feeling that I might be giving out today.

So in order to discover possibility, I have to be willing to risk are you willing to risk

would risk feel safe if you knew that it would change and you would have the most thrilling experience

Could you ignore the uncomfortableness for just a little bit? Knowing

that it would expand you, it would change you. It would excite you, it would delight you.

I’m ready.

I’m ready.

So think about it. Think about what you’re willing to risk. Are you willing to let go just a little bit, release your grip on everything?

Are you willing to dive in,

make big changes, make little changes that are calculated so that you absorb and sift out the things you’re looking for?

I’m excited, I’m excited for what’s happening. I’m excited for what I’m pulling together. If you want to be part of this, if you’re listening to this, and you’re like, yes, yes. And yes, I promise, I promise, this will be a life changing experience, you’re going to have to be willing to take a risk, you’re going to have to be willing to trust me.

And you’re going to need to get on either the texts list or my email list, because I think those spots are going to go really, really fast. There’s only going to be a limited number of spots, because I want it to be really, really impactful. So text me the word ready. 770343 34 are not oh nine, and if it’s not your time, that’s okay, too. That’s okay, too. We have to know when we’re ready. And we have to know when right now I just need the comfort of what’s ordinary. And there are seasons for that too. And I think that when we know the difference, that is how we live a big life. Thanks so much for listening today. I will see you all next week. I love you so much. Make it an amazing week, and I’ll talk to you soon.

Thanks so much for listening today. If you want to take a moment to leave us a review on iTunes. Take a quick screenshot before you hit submit and email it over to us at support at Betsy pake.com. And we will send you a special audio hypnosis to help you overcome a limiting belief. Thanks so much, and I’ll see you next week.

Today Betsy talks about resting, expansion, and living bigger in the next year.

Text Betsy the word “Ready” to 770-343-3409

Transcription:

Hello fellow adventurers, welcome to today’s show. My name is Betsy pake, if you’re new here, I am a speaker and a coach. And I train ripple makers to become coaches as well. So, alright, so there’s a lot of things that I want to talk about today, this season, I feel like our lives are in seasons, right that don’t necessarily go along with the seasons outside. But we have seasons in our lives, slower seasons and seasons that are more creative. And for me, I feel like I’m coming out of a really I don’t want to use the word hard, although that’s the word that came to me. But a really challenging season, there was a lot of opportunity for me to shift how I’ve been seeing things, and to grow, and to learn really strong and good boundaries and a new way. And just really, really great, great lessons about allowing myself the space to rest. You know, I think that right, resting gets a bad rap. We we are. So I think we’re in such a community of busyness and like achieving things as what’s really good, that we forget that resting is really, really important too. And I had to fight against that a lot over the past couple months, allowing myself to back up and allowing myself to slow down and the fears that came along with that. But I knew that that’s what my body needed. That’s what mentally I needed. And I do feel like rest is just as important as doing. And that the truth is that rest only means something that we assign the meaning to, you know, if we grew up in a different culture, and maybe you’re listening and you’re in Spain, or someplace where they take a siesta right in the afternoon and you’re allowed to rest, then it becomes a different meaning. But for me, and the way that I grew up, being productive was really, really important. And so shifting, and allowing myself the space to rest made me realize that that has a purpose to

and that doing isn’t the only thing. And that if I could stop resisting, the need to rest, because all that does is really like prolong the need to rest. But if I could stop resisting, and just allow myself the space, you know, to heal and to breathe, and to expand that. It was those moments where I was quiet, when I could start to see and hear and feel the messages that I needed to in order to move forward and to use those challenges to create opportunities and possibilities for me in my life. So I wanted to share that in case you’re in that season. You know, it’s been a long, 18 months. And I think that if you live in an area like I do, I live in Atlanta where the pandemic isn’t something that we notice all the time, because people don’t really wear masks here in Atlanta anymore, then the mask mandate has been lifted. And so it’s we forget that it’s still happening, there’s still a lot of unrest and a lot of fighting that we see, you know, on the news and like social media, all the places, and there is this underlying uncertainty that perhaps is making you really, really tired. And I think that over the course of the last 18 months, a lot of us have become really tired, but all of us probably and in a global way. And if you live in a place where you have to be busy, then it’s compounding on that and might be starting to wreck havoc on your body or your spirit. I know for me, that’s what was happening. And so allowing yourself the space and just understanding there’s a lot going on. Even if your life right now may have like challenges or normal things happening. There’s still an underlying, like stressor out there. So give yourself a little bit of space and a little bit of grace to be able to go in a new direction and we can’t pivot and go in a new direction until we’ve like stopped the car. You know, until we’ve paused at the stop sign and made an assessment I think it’s really hard to make an assessment if we’re not listening in. You know, one of the things I talk about all the time is like listening in to that inner knower, then I know for me, it is so darn hard to hear her when I really, really hectic and busy and things are overloaded. So before I go any further, I want to tell you, I want to, I want to offer something. So I have something that’s so good, it’s so good, I’m so excited about it. And if you are interested in doing something different for your personal development for 2022, if you’re like, Alright, I want to regroup and I want to have like a path. And I want to have a community to be able to do this with then I want you to text me the word ready. And that will put you on the early notification list about what is about to happen, I’m going to give you the number to text me. And this is if you’re in the United States, if you’re not just email us, and we’ll make sure that you get the latest. Okay, so text me at 770-343-3409. And if you’re not familiar, that’s my texts list, I send out maybe like once a week, sometimes twice a week, sometimes twice a month, messages that come from my inner Knower. And so those messages are things that I hear typically in my morning meditation and things that I want to share. And hopefully they help expand you and make you see something a little bit differently about what could be possible for your life. So a little piece of inspiration. So if you’re on the text list already, you can still text me ready, and it will put you in that community so that you get the first dibs on what I’m going to offer, it’s

I will get to hug you if you do this. Okay. So I’m really looking forward to that. And Alright, so now I want to talk a little bit of you know, it, this energy in this resting I think is so important. And I think it’s super important for you to be thinking about, especially as we go into the holidays, which tend to get even more hectic. And the other thing that I want to shift you to, if you’re in that place where you’re like it’s crunchy, do you know what I mean by that crunchy, that’s how it has felt to me, like crunchy like scar tissue. And so as I tried to pivot and move, it’s like this crunchiness of it, where we’re where to shift feels like I’m having to break apart a bunch of old junk, you know, junk that I that had just kind of scarred over and I was ignoring. And then when I broke it all up, then it was like the pieces of the scar tissue floating around. And I had to just stop and pause and say, Where does this go? Where does this belong? What do I want to do with this? And in all of that, when that happens, I think that it becomes really easy to get focused on that scar tissue to get focused on the things that maybe aren’t going the way that we want or the things that are challenging. I know for me, that’s how it feels like sometimes I’m like, Oh, my nose, everything. How’s everything going? So sideways, like why does this feel so bad? And honestly, I think if someone else came into my life, and just took a peruse of it at best at the last like three months, they would say well, I can see how that thing would be a lot. But the other stuff isn’t that big of a deal. Betsy put it felt because that scar tissue was being like, crunchy and in cracked open. You know, it felt like everything was like at a level of overwhelm. And I think when we get like that, it can be really important, extra important for us to pause, stop at that stop sign and say, How can I expand? How do I expand from this place? How do I expand? A couple weeks ago, I said my husband?

Just stop, I need you to just stop. I can’t get him a pad of paper. And I said I want you to just write down everything that I’m going to say. And he was like, All right. Okay. So I was like, I just wrote down. If I want this, if I could have this, I want this, I want this, I want this, I want this. And what I did not do was put the parameters on it that you typically would put on it if you were saying a list of things that you want because what do you do you go okay, well for 2022 I want this but I don’t really have the money for that. Oh, but you know what, I probably don’t have the time for that. You know, I that probably wouldn’t work because of work. Like I didn’t put any of those parameters on it. I just said everything that I want Like, I want to go to Bali for a month, next year, like a whole damn month, I want to have live events and hug people I want to, there’s so many things that I want to do. And I just had him write those things out. Some of them were really simple things. Like I want a really good haircut. Right? I mean, I know that sounds silly, but I just said everything in that moment that I could think of that I want. He was writing Fast and Furious. And if I’m honest, I couldn’t read hardly any of it. It was like, I was like, Are you a doctor, because I can’t read any of this. I had to have it transcribed later. But I got it out without a delay of myself, you know, without, like putting a governor on it. Do you know what I mean? When I say governor, like those big trucks driving down the road, when you hear that, like when they’re? Well, when they can only when they’re in the wrong lane. They’re in the left hand lane, and they should be in the right hand lane. And they’re not going very fast. It’s because they can’t, because the truck company has put a limit on how fast they can go. So now they’re in that left hand lane. But they really can’t go any faster to pass the other truck on the right hand side. So they’re kind of stuck. It’s a governor like you, we put these stops on ourselves and say, I can only go this fast, I can only have this much joy. And this is the only amount of fun I can have. Like I can’t rest any more than this. Right. And so having that exercise where I just said, I’m just going to expand, I’ve been at this stop sign feeling all this crunchiness floating around, I’m going to just expand into everything that I want. I’m just going to say everything that I want without those parameters. And like when I tell you that felt so fun, like truly fun, like where I was almost laughing doing it, I was talking so fast, it would almost be helpful to open up your iPhone and like do a recording and just talk because he couldn’t write as fast as I was talking, the ideas and things that were coming out. Because I gave myself that freedom. You know, I didn’t say Well, let me look at the calendar and see when I could go on a vacation. Like I didn’t do any of that it didn’t matter to me. If the things were possible in my physical reality, they were just my truest desires in that moment. Like, what are my desires, we pull ourselves back, I think so often. And then we struggle because every year we’re stuck in the familiar. Every year, we’re stuck in this feeling of like, I can’t expand any more than I ever have. And I want to I see other people, I see other people experiencing the things that I want to experience. And the thing that I know for sure is if I see someone doing the thing that I want to do, then it is meant for me to do. And if I feel that constriction, that jealousy that even more, I’m like, oh, that’s for me. Right? So what could you expand into? How could you take yourself out of that crunchy zone and into anything could be possible because you create the matrix. Like if this is an I know this is going out there. But if this is a simulation, like just just for a second for fun, be like this is just a simulation. So this can go any way that I want it to go. Like I’m the main character, I get to create the coolest, most amazing outcome from here. And maybe if somebody was watching this as a movie, it would be kind of like dull. It can have like an incredible ending. It can have like the best, most amazing next

3040 50 years. Because you get to choose, you get to pick and all you have to do is expand and let go of those parameters. Those governors that used to hold you where you were, that no longer hold you in place. Because anything could be possible. And you might be thinking right now, but I kept this job and I can’t just go What if I don’t know what if you want to go to Bali? And what if your job sends you to Bali? I know you’re like well my job doesn’t do that. They don’t have anything to do with Bali Betsy. Maybe you don’t even want to go to Bali. But if this is a simulation and we get to create it. I don’t know the wine. Why not? What would happen if you just believed it? Do you guys remember my episode I did about that. bobblehead doll I’m gonna I need to find An episode was about the bobblehead doll, and about wanting my husband wanting this bobblehead doll. And I can’t even tell you how much we created that experience. And positive we created that experience in the matrix that didn’t exist. Before we got to it was a basketball game, they were giving out bobblehead dolls. We didn’t get one because we got there too late because I needed tacos. And I decided someone would just hand us one. And as we were in the parking lot, and it’s a good story, we’ll all find that episode. Hang on. All right, I’m pretty sure it was episode 9898. So when we, when we can just step out of this, this idea that things are a certain way, you know, when we can just step out of the illusion, then what could be possible if some people are doing things that are like incredible and amazing and super high energy and having incredible relationships and friendships and travel? What if that’s something you desire, then why not? So I would just offer the thought that if you’re in the crunchiness, you let down your guard for a minute and just expand into anything that could be possible. Open up the Voice app on your iPhone and just speak it, speak it into existence. Say it out loud, it becomes a vibration and start to connect in to what 2022 could really be for you. And text me, text me the word ready? If you’re ready, because I think this is going to be a really incredible ride. And when you do this, and you connect in and you expand out, I think that is how you live a big life. Thanks so much for listening. I will see you guys next week. Thanks so much for listening today. If you want to take a moment to leave us a review on iTunes. Take a quick screenshot before you hit submit and email it over to us at support at Betsy pake.com. And we will send you a special audio hypnosis to help you overcome a limiting belief. Thanks so much and I’ll see you next week.

In todays episode Betsy talks about how the trust in yourself may have eroded and the steps to take to begin to hear your inner voice and take action from that space.

Transcription:

Hello fellow adventurers. Welcome to today’s show. So if you’re new here, my name is Betsy pake. I am an author, a speaker and I have a training program called The Alchemy Institute where I train NLP practitioners and Hypnotherapist. So if you’ve ever thought about becoming a coach, join me over there, we’re going to be opening the doors in the next couple of weeks. So really good stuff happening over there. Alright, so let’s dive into today’s show. I’m in the middle today of I’m going to give you a really amazing visual and I just want to apologize in advance. But if you’re listening to this on Thursday, I am getting a colonoscopy probably as we speak.

So today I am in colonoscopy prep, which means I have drank more liquids, I will be on clear liquids all day long. It’s fine. It’s kind of like a good little mental challenge, you know, but I’ve never, I have never been as hungry as I was this morning. Just because I knew I couldn’t eat. You know what I mean? I just was like, oh my god, I’m dying within like 15 minutes of being up and I was like, Ah, I can’t have my Cheerios, I’m gonna die. But I have walked to the grocery store this morning. And I have gotten all different kinds of clear liquids hot, clear liquids called clue I’m gonna make it like, I’m gonna make it fun. So, anyway, if colonoscopy has been on your list, if it’s been on your list, do it make the appointment, we could be on a regular rotation of having colonoscopies around the same time, if you schedule now,

every year, you could be reminded by me. So anyway, get your colonoscopy. And then I wanted to talk to you guys today about something that has been coming up for me quite a bit. And as I’ve spoken with other people over the last week or two, I realized that it’s something that I think is like an undercurrent for a lot of people. And so I was like, you know, I want to talk about that on today’s show.

And what that thing is, is this,

this feeling of, I need to make a decision.

But I’m fearful or I hesitate, or I put it off, or I procrastinate, because I’m not sure. And this might be like big decisions where you’re like, I have to make sure this is the right decision. You know, I talked last week about about raising my standards and about how I noticed I was having these things that were in my life that I was complaining about for years. But in order for those things to change, I had to make a decision. Right, a different decision had to make be made. And I had to raise my standards, but in that required really tough decisions.

And you may have that right now too, right? Where you’ve got things that you know, need to change. Maybe you’re maybe you’re not even aware of what those decisions are like, specifically, you just know, it’s gonna entail a bunch of big decisions. And honestly, like, that just feels overwhelming. You know, maybe it feels like right now, I can’t deal with that, too.

I think that what happens as time goes on, and time goes on. And this was the case for me was that in those specific areas, we start to doubt ourselves, there is a thing where we know what the decision is that needs to be made, we’re not really unsure. We’re just afraid to make it. We’re just afraid to make the decision. Deep down, we know that we know.

But to make that decision means that a lot of things are going to change. It means that we’d have to trust ourselves. And I think that we have a problem in trusting ourselves. And here’s why I say that. I think there’s a bunch of different levels to it. I think that there’s a the patriarchy, I think creates an unsteadiness like you don’t really know. Right? Like, like, Are you sure you don’t really know can you really make the that kind of decision? And this is an undercurrent, right like it happens in marketing. Like our you don’t really know, this way you need this thing to find out, right? I think that we really know but we have lost touch with that inner

lower.

And here’s how I think that starts to like fester and get bigger and bigger. There are some areas of my life where I’m like, I know and I will make a choice, like no problem at all. But then there were these other areas of my life that were big. And I was going to have to make a choice, I was gonna have to make a decision. And every time I would go to do it, the fear would set in. But do I really know is that really right? What if I’m wrong? What if I make that decision, and it’s not? Right, and then I’ve made the decision, and then I can’t go back.

I think that we lose sight of the fact that when we make a decision,

based on our inner knower, based on what we know, then when we go forward, it, it won’t be wrong. And even if

even if there are parts of you that go, what I’ve chosen, isn’t right. It doesn’t mean that, that we shouldn’t have made the choice. It just means that from there, we have to make new choices.

So here’s how I think this connection between our inner Nora and us actually, making those making the choices starts to disintegrate. I think that we rehash a lot of old experiences. So you may be thinking a lot about the past, you know, I talk all the time about being in the present. I mean, a lot of

a lot of people talk about it, be present, be mindful. I talk about this all the time. And it’s hard sometimes for me, a lot of the times, it is a practice, it’s like riding a bike, you know, when you ride a bike, you go like side to side to side, right? You’re not like straight on riding your bike, it is a practice of bringing yourself back to center, leaning to the left, bringing yourself back to center, leaning to the right, bringing yourself back. And I think that when we aren’t in the present, then we’re either in the past or in the future. And I think the default is to go to the past. Now why would that be? Why would that be our default? If it’s not really good for us? Well, you’ve heard me talk about this before, but I think that we are listening for the rustle in the grass, right? We are wanting to make sure that we’re not going to get eaten by the lion. And so we we think about all of the things that could go wrong. And an easy way to do that is to think about the things that we perceive as having gone wrong. So we’re rehashing those experience we linger. Have you ever been in the shower? And then you’re like, oh, remember, like five years ago? I should have said that? I mean, I do that sometime. Right? I noticed I did this past week, where I was like, I was 14? Why am I thinking about thing I should have? Like if I should call and be like, do you remember at the school dance, like I wish I had said this instead? I don’t know, I’m not the only one. I’m sure I’m not the only one. But I think that we rehash these old experiences. And when we do that, we start to weaken who we are. Right, we start to weaken the present moment, because we’re out of it all the time. And the only place we can make these hard decisions, and rely on our inner knower as if we are present. So we start to break that ability by rehashing these old experiences.

The second way is that we don’t keep promises to ourselves. We set these promises, we set these goals or these ideas or things that we want. Or we say, I’m going to do that, I’m going to do that for myself, or I’m going to I have this goal, I’m going to do this thing.

And then we don’t we’ll keep promises to other people, like 1000 times more than we would keep them to ourselves, oh, I was gonna do this thing for myself, but so and so needs this or my kid needs this, or my husband needs this thing. So it’s fine. I don’t have to go do this thing for me. I was gonna go and walk around the mall and do some shopping, just to chill out right? Or looking for something I need, or I was gonna get my nails done, or I was gonna meditate. But you need something. So it’s fine. I don’t need to do it. It’s fine. So we’re not keeping these little promises to ourselves, that we said we were going to do something and then we change it. Now.

We can change your mind. I’m not saying that we can’t change our mind. But you know the difference between changing your mind having a different decision and just letting go

Things go because something else becomes more important when I could argue that perhaps it isn’t, perhaps keeping that,

that that promise to yourself is much more important. And, you know, we see this with goals like on New Year’s resolutions, right? I think we see this a lot. And I could do a whole show on why those don’t pan out. But I think that when we think about keeping promises to ourselves, and we, we, we missed the mark on that over and over again, it starts to break down this connection between us trusting the decisions that we’re going to make, and knowing that those are the right decisions. Here’s another way I think that we do that, is

we rely on our conscious mind. You know, we we like noodle through stuff like Yeah, but have you ever made like a pros and cons list? Right? I mean, I have to pros and cons relying on my conscious mind to make a decision that needs to be made with my intuition.

When I do this, we have an inner Knower. Right. There is a part of you that just knows that just knows things. Sometimes people call it a gut feeling. Right? You have this inner knower, you have this gut feeling that you know you can rely on.

And when you say I have this ability, this innate ability, everybody has it. And instead, I’m going to make a pros and cons list.

And rely on that, because that just seems so much more logical, that makes so much more sense. But if I can rely on my gut instinct, what if that is the thing that makes more sense, I think we’ve lost to this connection, where we think that’s not as reliable as our conscious mind. But honestly, our conscious mind. I mean, it is like,

it is dealing with a whole bunch of patterns, right? It’s dealing with tons of filters, it’s dealing with beliefs that probably weren’t even developed by you, but by your parents and people that you admired and loved your value system, it’s dealing with all that put if you could just rely on your inner Knower. So I think we start to break this bond, when we rely on our conscious mind for decisions, big or small, instead of listening to that gut feeling,

instead of just listening to the inner Knower.

And I think the last way, which is, I think one of the most insidious ways that we do this, is when we allow other people to make decisions for us. And we don’t listen to ourselves. Now.

I don’t mean when you say like, where do you want to go eat and someone says, blah, blah, Mexican food, and you’re like, oh, okay, that that’s not making a decision. For me, that’s what I’m talking about is when I have to make a decision of impact. And I know, deep down, but I am so influenced by other people around me that I make a different decision. This is like when I know I need to do something. But instead, I call a couple girlfriends. And I say, What do you think? What would you do? All you’re doing is asking them what’s the filter you see the world through? Right? But you got to listen to your filter, you got to listen to your knower, or get rid of the filter and listen to you. This happens when

your partner makes the decisions. This happens when you know what would be right for you. But your partner is making the final decision instead of partnering with you to make the decision.

Like coming together and making a decision together isn’t what I’m talking about. I’m talking about when you give up the decision making process to someone else, whether you know it or not, whether it’s just by asking for advice from everybody to make sure because what you’re really doing is feeling Is it is it okay, is it going to be seen or perceived as okay, if I make this decision?

I have found more and more and more over the past five years that I won’t go to a friend to discuss something. When I’m really ready to make a decision. I don’t want to talk to somebody else.

And if I do I know it’s that I’m not ready to make the decision. Because when we’re ready to make the decision we know and when we

are in the present moment, we can hear the right knowing and make the decision is when we’re all over the place. We’re asking everybody else and we’re listening to everybody else. We’re not keeping any promises to ourselves. So of course, we don’t trust ourselves. How can you trust yourself if you’re constantly like skipping out on yourself? Right? How can you trust yourself? When you offload decisions to somebody else? Like, how can you trust yourself? When you don’t listen to the inner instead you reject it, and you make a pros and cons list and just use your conscious mind and all the things that that entails? How could you trust that inner knower if you’re constantly rejecting it? And so over time, it starts to disintegrate and break up that deep connection.

It starts to change things. So now, you’re in a moment where you’re like, I know, I have to make a decision. I know what the decision is, but I’m not going to do it.

I’m not going to do it, because I don’t, I can’t trust that. That’s right. What if I’m wrong? I can’t trust that thing.

So how do we start to get that back? Like, how do we fix that? So the first way is that we just do that thing we listen in, and then we act. But the way to do this isn’t going to be on those big things that overwhelms you where you’re already doubting yourself, it’s going to be on really little things, really little things, things that you may perceive as inconsequential. This thing doesn’t really matter. But I’m going to check in with my inner Knower. Here’s what how I’m going to do that. I’m going to go out to lunch with a friend. And I’m going to look at the menu. And I’m going to pick based on what my intuition, not like, Oh, but I should have that thing. I shouldn’t have that I should have that. Oh, you’re going to stop that. And you’re going to just listen in to the inner No, or what should I have?

Right, you’re going to lay in bed in the morning. And you’re going to ask yourself, What should I do first, and then you’re going to do it.

So you’re going to really listen in and you’re going to start making little changes, little decisions that you can actually act on from a place of knowing, not from your conscious mind. But from a gut feeling.

The second way that you’re going to do that is you’re going to give yourself grace, you’re going to just forgive yourself for all the times that you didn’t do it. Forgive yourself for all the times where you didn’t keep promises to yourself.

Forgive yourself for all the times where you perceived yourself in a certain way, because you did something in a certain way. And give yourself the same grace that you would give somebody else.

If you were in your situation.

If if a friend was in your situation, and they called you?

How would you what would you tell them? You know, if you if you’re like I have I’m keep rehashing this stuff from two years ago, if a friend called you and said that, what would you say?

You’d probably say like, you know, nobody’s perfect. We all make, make mistakes. And we can get a new learning from those mistakes. And it’s not doing any good, like zero, for you to be thinking about it still.

Just let that go. And what what can you focus on in the future? Here’s what I do. If I notice I’m doing that. As soon as I notice, I go, Oh my god, first of all, I go, Oh, my God, what am I doing that, and then they immediately think of something that I want in the future. Because your brain can’t think of two things at once.

So I can immediately shift, I just think about something I want in the future. I used to have a little list in my wallet, it might still be there, I should check. But it was a list of things that I loved to think about. So that when I noticed that I was doing this, I could just look at the list.

And the list included things like when I would hug my little dog, you know when I would hug Miley and kiss her, it would include me the sound of the sound of your foot when it goes into a swimming pool. You know when you’re sitting on the side of a pool and then you put your foot in it goes clunk, you know. I love that sound. I think we think about the ocean and standing with the water up to my ankles and the ocean, right? So these are the things when I think about that. I can’t think about that dumb thing I did. So I can start to shift this by leaving alone the past and just shifting into the present moment or shifting to the future if I need to do that. In order

To get out of that cycle, because sometimes that thought can be more entertaining than the thought of the present moment. If you need to ground and be in the present, then just start naming everything in the room.

So if I notice I’m thinking about that thing, I’m wondering about that thing. Then I just look around and I go computer, microphone, iPad, keyboard, box of Kleenex, I don’t know if you can hear my thick, I’m getting a cold, like Taco Chico, I just started naming things around me. So bringing it back, getting out of the past and bringing it back, I’m going to start to fix that connection.

The second, or the third thing. So listen in and take and take these small actions, give yourself the same grace that you would give to other people. And then the third thing is, when you set your goals, when you set, you know, we’re heading, we’re in the fourth quarter here. So we’re heading in, it’s going to be I mean, the next two months are going to go by super fast, right? Because it’s the holidays, and everything starts to like, become like a super fast vortex, all of a sudden, we’re gonna be like dumped out onto 2022, right. And when you look at your goals, for next year, we are in the process over the past week of setting our goals for the business over the next year, I want to set an achievable goal, I want to set a stretch goal.

And I want to set a holy shit goal.

Because I want to have something that’s achievable. Because if I’m only setting a holy shit goal, and I don’t, and I continue to not get it and not get it, and every month, I’m not getting it. Like, you’re just going to throw in the towel.

So we look at where I’ve been. And I look at what’s achievable based on everything I’ve done, I am comparing, right, I’m looking at this and saying, Okay, this trajectory, what’s achievable, so then I can always go for that. And then I’m gonna have a stretch, if ePHI. Like, if I really am going for it, right? Like this month, I’m going to really push, I’m going to really go for the stretch goal. And then if I miss it, I hit the achieve goal, which was, you know, that’s where I wanted to be. And then I can have this whole shit. Like, what if I just get like, if I did some mindset work and just released the parameters, right? And I just went like, full hog on it. What could I do? Like, those are really fun to have some time because then you, you’re like, I don’t know, and you have to judge your energy. But I don’t know, for me that I can have a holy shit for every single month, like, I might get a little worn out. But sometimes it’s fun to be like, I’m going to do that one this month, I’m going to I’ll set little, little goals for myself, throughout the month, you know, let’s see if in the next 10 to 10k in 10 days is always a fun one for me. Let me see if I can make 10k in 10 days, it’s always fun to see how far I can get can I do 20k in 10 days, like those kinds of

tangible goals can be fun. And what they do is they start to build up that confidence. I can trust myself, I can do this thing.

And if you’re constantly just going for these crazy goals that that you just never can hit, it’s going to start to wear it down. Right? You’re going to start to not trust yourself because well, I’m going for stuff I can never get can be really overwhelming. When I was in sales years ago, I always had a goal, right that was set by the company. It was always an income goal or a you know, revenue goal. And I would have this revenue goal. And then I would set up my own goals and how I would do it I at one point I sold copiers and fax machines. And I would walk door to door here in Atlanta and go to small businesses and ask them what like, like what they had for copiers when their lease was up. And I would keep track of all that. So then I could go back when it was getting towards the time their lease was up so or did they need service? So most of the time I would get in no because most people were in a contract. So I made this page when my daughter was young, so I’m sure that’s where I got the idea. But

I took a page of like cartoon noses. And I just I I’ve photocopied the page. I remember I photocopied the page like a bunch of times. So I had like pages and pages of noses. Okay, so then I would go around. And every time somebody said no, I would cross off a nose. So I was hitting a goal I was achieving. And that was

like a huge thing for me, because I don’t know if you’ve ever known anyone or you have sold copiers. It’s one of the hardest sales jobs. And I knew if I could do that, well, I could get any other job that I wanted, which was true. And that’s what happened.

But I knew I had to do this. And I knew that I couldn’t do it if I was just hearing No, and that was a failure. So I turned that no into something good that was actually helping me achieve a goal I set for myself. So now, every time somebody said no, I would be like, yeah, Heck, yeah, I just, I’m getting closer to my goal. And at the end of the day, I would go to the next place, even if I was tired, because I’d be like, Oh, I just want to get one more No. Like, and then if I’d get a yes, I’d be like, Oh, sometimes I remember getting a yes and being like, disappointed, because I hadn’t gotten to know and was able to check off my list, right? So having a goal that is achievable, having a stretch goal and having that holy shit goal, right. So

the last one of how to fix this is to listen in to practice, practice listening in, just sit, just sit on your bed.

Sit Taylor style on your bed, with your hands on your knees, and don’t look at your phone. And just listen. Ask yourself, what do I need to know? What are you trying to tell me? What do I need to be paying attention to?

And just listen in. You don’t have to do it for two hours. Do it for like five minutes.

Maybe that’s the thing. As soon as you get up, you sit up and you put your hands on your knees. And you say, what do I need to listen to today? How can I connect with you, your inner Knower is waiting, is waiting for you.

And the moment that you do this, you’re going to make a connection that you can start to build on.

You don’t have to second guess yourself all the time and you don’t have to wonder Can I make this decision? Is it wrong? Will it get screwed up?

You can make decisions and you can know and you can trust yourself. And if you’ve broken that trust you can build it back. And I think when you do that, that is how you live a bit life. So try this out. Join me on the waitlist for the alchemy Institute get to know yourself. By using these tools. You can help other people to become a board certified NLP practitioner hypnotherapist deep streaming facilitation. EFT time techniques. It’s all there. Check it out on the website. I would love love love to get to see you and get to know you.

And if you liked this episode, please share it share it on social media and tag me it’s at Betsy pake or share it with your friends. Maybe it will help somebody else that’s got to make big decisions and you know they’ve been struggling. Alright, have an amazing, amazing week. Send me good vibes for my colonoscopy. schedule yours. And I will see you all next week.

Thanks so much for listening today. If you want to take a moment to leave us a review on iTunes. Take a quick screenshot before you hit submit and email it over to us at support at Betsy pake.com. And we will send you a special audio hypnosis to help you overcome a limiting belief. Thanks so much and I’ll see you next week.

Today on the show Betsy talks about when change is on the horizon and what to think about as things start to shift.

Transcription:

Hello fellow adventurers, I was trying to decide like, do I be like, Hey, I haven’t been here in a couple weeks, like, sort of like the friend that you’re texting is texting you back? Or do I just go dive right in to the story and pretend like nothing happened? I don’t know, I still haven’t decided. So I guess I’m just gonna do both. Hi, I’m happy to be here. It has been such a busy month, I will tell you that I have been really micromanaging my energy. About two months ago, I would say probably two months ago, I realized that I was complaining about the same things over and over again, do you have things like that, where you’re like, I’m complaining about the same things. And I have been complaining about these things. Like, for years, and there’s a reason why I’m not doing anything about it. in NLP, we call that secondary gain. There’s a reason there’s something I’m getting by not taking care of what it is that I don’t want in my life. And, you know, we see that lots of times, you know, with addicts, right, they don’t want to be an addict. But they’re getting something from it, even though it’s painful, and it hurts them and it hurts their family. And they are consciously aware of that. But there’s something else. And so, secondary gain is something we see obviously, on a much smaller scale, but there’s something that we get from the discontent. So a couple months ago, I was thinking about it, it was like, I have these few things that I’ve been complaining about literally for years. And, you know, I’ve talked about before. On the show, I’ve talked about how I use an app called day one, and it’s an app on my computer, and I journal in it every day. So I can’t go back. It’ll show me like on this day, five years ago on this day, and it was like the same things I was complaining about. And I was like why, like, it’s totally fine if I have those things. But if I’m not going to do anything about it, then I need to be okay with it. Right? Anytime we have an issue with something, or we’re upset about something, we have options, you know, we can do something about it, we can be content with it, or we can change it. So I started looking at those things. And I decided that in order to make those changes that I wanted to happen, I really needed to raise my standards, you know, standards for myself standards for people around me standards for what I tolerated. Right? In my own life. What was I tolerating, and I know I mentioned this before, but I literally think about it. Like, every day, I had a client that said I want to wake up every day and be stoked. And you know, at the time, she said it, I was like, Yeah, that’s good, that’s good. But then I kept thinking about it. And like, I not waking up stoked, and I get it that we have days that are bad days or days that are great days. But I was waking up with like this underlying like uneasiness. And I think that that happens a lot.

When we give a lot, I know for me, and I’m guessing for you, if you’re listening, that a lot of people come first, right? Like maybe your kids or your husband or people in your job, or whatever it is, a lot of that stuff comes first. And if we’re not careful, it crowds out the room, and the energy that we would have for ourselves. And that’s what was starting to happen to me. I realized that if I didn’t want to keep complaining about these things, and I wanted to wake up every day and feel really excited about my life, then my life couldn’t be the way that it was. And I couldn’t keep tolerating the things I was tolerating. I needed to raise my standards. And so I did that. And when I did, when I tell you, everything fell apart. everything, every little thing, all of a sudden, nothing worked. Because when you raise your standards, the things that were okay before are no longer okay. And in that I had this steadiness, this feeling of like I am so steady in this because I know that when something’s falling apart, something else is coming together. The things that I wanted in my life Were weren’t able to materialize with the standards that I had. And so I had to reevaluate everything and say, who do I really want to be? You know, what do I really want to be doing? How do I want to spend my days? How do I want to feel every day? And I think that it happens to me, I think it can happen to all of us is that we get like in a routine, where the things that used to be okay aren’t okay anymore. So it’s not that it’s not that we chose something that was bad in the first place. It’s just that we have to recalibrate at times, and we have to reevaluate where we’re really going. You know, in my book, start small, live big, I talk about an airplane flying from California to Atlanta. And if it is off course, by even 1%, over that amount of time, it will end up in South Carolina, when it goes to land doesn’t end up in Atlanta. And so the pilot has to constantly, you know, be checking the controls. Now I know it’s computerized, but making sure that it’s going in the right direction. It’s okay to stop and evaluate and be like, this is where I’ve been going. This has been my final destination, I want to de plane in the right place. But I realized that over time, I hadn’t been course correcting. And so things had sort of taken off a life of their own. And the way I described it the other day to my husband was like when you cook a lobster, and you the water gets slowly warmer and warmer and warmer, right? And so it’s almost like that, like, things were happening and happening and happening. And I didn’t realize I was in like, uncomfortable water until I stopped and re evaluated. And then was like, oh, my goodness, I need to course correct. And to do that I need to raise my standards, raise my standards for myself and raise the standards for people around me. Like, who do you allow around you? What kind of impact do you want people to have? Right? How much of an impression and I know I talked about that in the last show, but having that impression on your life. And so in all of that everything starts crumbling, right? Because that’s what happens. And they think that if we know, I don’t like this, I’m going to raise my standards, and this is going to fall apart. Everything about what I’ve been doing isn’t going to work anymore. So over the last six weeks, six, eight weeks, everything has been falling apart and beginning to come back together in a new way, in a way that feels so much more aligned in a way that I think like, I’m not totally sure I have anything to complain about right now. Like everything started coming into alignment with how I wanted to live. Now, will there be a time in the future where I have to course correct again? Yeah, absolutely. Right now, I’m staying steady. I’m getting really clear on what it is I really want, how I want to live, and what feels like stoked to me in the morning. So over the past month, I haven’t really been here because I have been managing my energy, because that has been the most important thing. And in this up leveling, I realized that I needed some help. And so I invested heavily in myself. And I found the perfect coach for me. And I have been going through the process of changing and shifting and growing and changing a lot of things in my business, reevaluating things. I asked myself, if I’m an old lady, and I look back on my life, what will I wish I had done. And you know, there are some things and some dreams and goals that I’ve had, that I’ve kind of put off especially with COVID. You know, we’ve all done that. And I realized that if I looked back on my life, and those dreams are big, scary dreams. But if I looked back on my life, I decided it would feel worse to wonder. I wonder if I had done that. Then if I had tried and failed miserably, I decided it would feel better to look back on my life and be like, I frickin went all out and I screwed up royally and messed that up and didn’t go the way I want. Because if I don’t do if I don’t have that option, then I don’t have the option to be like oh my god, it worked. It was amazing. I had an incredible life and what a ride that was. So I’m curious if there’s something that you have like that too. Maybe something that you’ve been pushing aside or saying that will come later or not right now or that’s I want to do that but that feels really scary. I don’t know who I’d have to be in order to do that thing. And is it time to reevaluate that? You know, to course correct? And to see, is this the path for me now? Is it time now? And where can I raise my standards, so that where I’m living now, how I’m living now is more in alignment with that version of me that does live those dreams, you know, that version of me that does take the risks and do the things and have the life and be able to tell the stories.

So all of this, I realized, you know, the only things that I really have control over in this life are my effort. And my attitude, right, that’s all I can really control. And so when I looked at where I was putting in effort, it wasn’t in the places it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t in the places where it should be. A lot of my energy was going towards things that weren’t really bringing me joy. In fact, the harder I tried, the more it wasn’t enough, the more I put into it, the more effort I put into it, the more it showed itself to like, well, it’s still not enough, you’re still not doing it, right. And I realized that it was time to pull back and to really see what it was that I wanted. And maybe you have those things in your life too, right, where you’re putting a lot of effort into something, but gosh, it just feels like you’re so tired, and it just never feels like it’s enough. Because the thing that we’re supposed to be doing, we feel energized with, we feel like we’re doing enough, we feel empowered by it, we feel excited, we feel motivated, ready to go. Right. And maybe not in every moment. But overall, the overarching, you feel excited to get up in the morning and get going. You know, as I look forward to the rest of this year, there are so many changes over the next four months and incredible amount of change is happening for me. And it feels exciting. Instead of I’m on the same path, I don’t really know. Like, if anything could happen right now, things are still coming together, right? Everything’s still breaking apart, and things are still coming together. And one of the most important things that I can do to make sure that it comes together, the way that I want is to monitor my energy is to notice where I’m putting out the most energy. And where I’m getting the most energy. You know, we can work really, I’m using air quotes hard at something, but we feel energized by it, we’re getting something back that feels really good. And that might be in your relationship, or it might be with your relationship with your children, it might be with friends, it might be with your job, you know, wherever it is that you’re putting out energy, start to notice, where am I getting energy back, I have talked about this with all of my coaching clients. And it’s something that I do often is I take a piece of paper and I draw a line down the middle, and no one is in and one is out. And I write down the things during the day that gave me energy. And I wrote down the things that take the energy away. And then I tried to evaluate it to evaluate and to delegate those things that are taking the energy away, like do I even need to have them I can’t even tell you how many things were on my list that I was like, I don’t have to do that. Like it’s taking away my energy. I don’t have to do it. Nobody’s making me like we have more choice. Sometimes then I think we realize. So all you can change and all you have control over is your effort and your attitude. Where can you course correct? Where can you raise the bar, raise your standards and say this is the minimum of which I’m willing to accept from me and other people around me. And I want to live my life like this. And when I’m old lady laying in bed, I want to know that I either succeeded or I failed miserably at this thing. I don’t want to wish I had done it. I want to try because you have control over your effort. And your attitude can be such that I tried. Even if I do this big thing and I fail. I’m still gonna be happy about it. Because I won’t be living in old lady and regret. So, over the past month, I have been reevaluating my energy. The podcast gives me so much energy. It’s one of my most favorite things to do. When I realized I wasn’t really having the time to do it, and to do it in the way that I wanted, it didn’t feel good to me, you know? And then I would think about this. Over the past couple weeks, I went to, I went to the podcast on the podcast app. And I pulled up I was like, I wonder if anybody said anything. You know, sometimes I look to see if anybody’s

anybody’s left to what do you call it? A rating or a review? And someone had left a review. That was like the greatest review ever if this was you. If this was you, Denise, Olivia, then email us at support at Betsy Pake calm, I want to send you something. But they they said that they listened so much. I look for every chance I can get to listen, even if it’s a three minute card, car ride to the grocery store, and I have to force myself to shut it off and go to bed. I can’t even tell you. The joy that that brought me. It made me so happy. You know, I’m here on this side of the mic. I don’t know if people like it, I can see that people download it. But I don’t know if people like it if they don’t tell me. And that’s gives me energy. You know, it gives me energy to keep doing it. And so I was making my list of like, things I like and things I don’t like and things that give me energy. And I was like, does anybody even like it? You know, I’m doing it. I know people are downloading it. But like, I don’t know, maybe it’s like on auto download. People have they’ve just subscribed long ago on a women I don’t know, are they listening? And then I read that. And I was like, Oh, this is so cool. I want to create more space for this because this is a thing that I love. So I’m happy to be back. Thank you, friend for waiting for me. Notice, notice where your standards are where you need to course correct? And how can you shift your energy so that you’re starting to move towards those big things, so that when you’re an old old person in bed, you can look back and be like, I did that thing? I did it. You can do it, too. My whole world is falling apart right now so you can join me. Come on in the water’s fine. It’s all gonna work out. It’s gonna be fine. I love you so much. When you make these shifts, that is how I think you live a big life. So much possibility ahead. I cannot wait to see where we all go together. Let me know. If you listen to this episode, share it on social media tag me. Let me know if you’re raising your standards. Let me know what you’re thinking. I want to hear. All right, I’ll see you all next week. Thanks so much for listening today. If you want to take a moment to leave us a review on iTunes. Take a quick screenshot before you hit submit and email it over to us at support at Betsy Pake calm, and we will send you a special audio hypnosis to help you overcome a limiting belief. Thanks so much and I’ll see you next week.