Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast The Anxious Love Coach

If you've ever experienced dread around making love due to the "ick," pain, anxiety, shame, or being too tired, this episode is for you!

I'm excited to introduce a dear friend and mentor of mine, Shayna Hiller, who is a trained Tao Tantric Priestess, Integrative Nutrition Coach, and Yoga Teacher. In this episode, we discuss the causes of dread around sex, as well as what you can do to start looking forward to sex—especially if things have gotten stale in the bedroom.

You're not alone. No, you're not broken, and no, you're not necessarily with the wrong partner if you're not feeling turned on by their mere presence!

This is a replay of an older episode. We're revisiting this conversation because the topic of sex anxiety is still so relevant. Please disregard any dates or events mentioned in the original recording.

The Sex Anxiety Clinic is happening LIVE on Saturday, August 29 at 2 PM PST. You can register here:
https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/sex-anxiety-clinic

As of 7/11/26: The new community, Both Feet In, is where you find my community. Access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that here:

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy [@Anxiouslovecoach]
Shayna Hiller [@Shaynahiller]

Time Stamps:

6:52 Shayna's long-term celibacy in her twenties
12:43 Clearing sexual trauma through the tantric arts
19:51 Inspiring your partner to be their best selves
26:34 Deciding that you don't like sex, when the reality is that you dislike the sex you are having
30:21 How stress leads to anxiety in the bedroom
37:10 Normalizing the ebbs and flows in your relationship and your sex life
38:30 Scheduling sex
46:15 What to do when you dread having sex with your healthy, loving partner
1:05:00 Sex Anxiety Masterclass on March 14th 2pm PST
1:11:12 You are wired for pleasure
1:14:43 Shayna's Embodied Wisdom Retreat

Do you feel like there's a lot of mental gymnastics to relationship anxiety work? Does this feel overly complicated?

Let's take a step back from the details and acknowledge the bigger picture. The work here is to develop faith and trust in yourself. 

You can't think your way out of a feeling problem. I'm not here to talk you off a ledge. I'm here to give you the tools either walk away, or take the leap of faith, all on your own.

Tension of Opposites - early bird until July 1st: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/tension-of-opposites

Both Feet In membership: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-2024

 Is it possible to be with one person for life and still feel something deep and warm between you? I'm sharing stories and wisdom from a 43‑year warm, loving marriage.

Are you stressed by wanting things in your relationship to be equal and fair? 

What if doing more at home or in the relationship brings greater spiritual fulfillment? What if the reward outweighs the work? 

What if you and your partner need different things, and that's okay? Pursuing what fulfills each of you can improve the whole.

This episode includes stories from my extended family and my own household, plus tools and mindsets to help you release the urge to control outcomes and let what you need come to you.

Tension of Opposites - early bird until July 1st: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/tension-of-opposites

Both Feet In membership: https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-2024

Sharing our "come to Jesus" difficult discussion this week. On: incompatability that surfaces while married, negotiating differences and wants, and how not martyring yourself and nurturing your individuality is key to staying connected.

Upcoming:

Both Feet In, my signature relationship anxiety course, is now available as a membership for course members. We will meet 2-3x/month to apply the tools from the course in real-time so you can leave and apply them to your relationship immediately. We will also have calls available exclusively for men, and men can now purchase the course and benefit as well.
The first BFI call will be May 12th. 14-day free trial for membership, which will open for registration to BFI students May 1st.
Register for Both Feet In today: Anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-2024

Ask me anything via text or voice note, and I'll reply with a 10-minute video via Wisio: www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Next Patreon community support call May 12th at 9am PST. $7/month, cancel anytime. Www.patreon.com/anxiouslovecoach

Work with me 1:1: www.anxiouslovecoach.com/work1-1

A postpartum fight with my husband leads to some excellent healing and bonding.

There is a power to forgiving ourselves, and our partners. This does not condone what happened or open ourselves up to being hurt again, but transforms that energy into clarity, love, and peace. Forgiveness emphasizes that you can have peace while still keeping boundaries, holding people accountable, and making meaningful changes in your life.

It starts with owning what's within your control, and what isn't. And continues with sitting down to listen, and what the power of listening can grant you with: perspective, understanding, clarity, and love.

Links:   Processing Rage Towards Men has been closed and discontinued. 
Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that here. https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/both-feet-in-2024   Wisio  

Sometimes the thing we fixate on in our partners is actually something we do, too. What if we responded to our partners the way we want them to respond to us? Magic could happen.

Many of my episodes use my personal stories as reference for lessons and teachings, and today's episode is no different, if maybe even more personal. I'm unscripted and opening up to you about a breakthrough that we've had in our relationship.

My husband and I have different expectations and experiences from our families of origin. Every family has dysfunction, and every family has trauma.

Listen in on our efforts to conquer intergenerational trauma, and refuse to pass down our baggage, and our parents' hurt, and our grandparents' struggles, and so on, to the next generation.

Links: Unwavering 2026 has started but it is NOT too late to join us! ➡️ Unwavering is a year-long mentorship designed to get you to stop reacting to every intrusive thought about your relationship and creating unnecessary emotional turmoil.   The structure is three 8-week seasonal "trimesters" (Anxious to Spacious, Tension of Opposites, and Rewriting History) plus: - a year of chat support with me and my co-teacher Stefi - discounted 1:1s with us - optional monthly workshops/Q&As   Sign up for Unwavering (the whole year with 3 trimesters) here. Sign up for Anxious to Spacious (trimester 1) here.   Wisio Patreon 

What do you do when values or visions clash? Can you reconcile? Can you "go along" without abandoning yourself? In this episode I opened up about a fight P and I had this week, yayyy! And how we kinda got back on the same page.   Links: As of 7/11/26: The new community, Both Feet In, is where you find my community. Access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that here. 

Parenthood has been a SEASON. In this episode, I shared how having grace for your partner is essential in a marriage, and what that looks like — and how those with rOCD might desperately have a tough time both giving and receiving it.   UNWAVERING: A Year to End the Drama in your Relationships kicks off with a welcome call on January 20th.

• The first trimester starts February 7th with Anxious to Spacious - an 8 week group teaching you Consciousness Exercise, which will help you stop REACTING in sabotaging ways every time you experience an intrusive thought.

  Wisios are open again! Ask me anything for $67 and I'll make you a 10-minute video with my thoughts. Patreon - $7/month, cancel anytime. Meet with me once a month, and get discounts on everything.

In this episode, my friend Cherry and I talked about a recent conversation where she humbled me in my marriage and how INCREDIBLY helpful it is to have sister roles like that in your life. Cherry also shares how to make bomb a$$ friends.   Links: Patreon - support my work and come pick my brain during my monthly hotseat coaching for $7/month! Unwavering: A year to end the drama in your relationships - join me for 3 of my best-selling 8-week programs in spring, summer, fall, plus monthly trainings/Q&As/workshops with my mentor and dear friend, Stefi Preiss.

This question came from my Patreon and I want to talk about it!

If your guy is in his 20s and figuring himself out and you're feeling anxious about it... you're not crazy. Here's why and what you can do about it.

Patreon - pick my brain monthly and get discounts on (almost) everything
Unwavering: A year to end the drama in your relationships

I'm hosting a workshop on Dec 19th to set your intentions for 2026! Free for Patrons and Unwavering members. Or get it here for $25.

In this episode I share a personal story with my husband's porn usage, what to do if your partner's usage bothers you, how I see porn now, what makes it worse, and how to get him to want to stop.

Join me for the entire year in UNWAVERING: End the drama in your relationships

You'll get:

1. Access to my three best-selling 8-week group programs in spring, summer, and fall

2. Plus an exclusive community ONLY for those that join for all three seasons, where we will meet monthly for trainings and Q&As to help you integrate and keep the momentum going all year long.

Hey! In this episode I shared my story with breakup urges in my relationship with my now-husband and partner for 14 years. Boy do I know the panic of the thought "BREAK UP!"

I also shared how I stopped experiencing these altogether, and how you can work with me in 2026.

 

Join me for the entire year in UNWAVERING: End the drama in your relationships

You'll get:

1. Access to my three best-selling 8-week group programs in spring, summer, and fall

2. Plus an exclusive community ONLY for those that join for all three seasons, where we will meet monthly for trainings and Q&As to help you integrate and keep the momentum going all year long.

Hot take: relationship anxiety is the fear of being "stuck" or powerless. There's no shame in falling into the trap of thinking we'll be victims to the circumstances in our lives— but once you see it... you don't have to choose it. You can choose to stay empowered no matter what your decision is. Listen in.

Links:

Spark Rest and Yin Language has been closed and discontinued. 

Patreon will be closed starting 8/16/2026.    Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE . 

Join me for the entire year in UNWAVERING: End the drama in your relationships

You'll get:

1. Access to my three best-selling 8-week group programs in spring, summer, and fall

2. Plus an exclusive community ONLY for those that join for all three seasons, where we will meet monthly for trainings and Q&As to help you integrate and keep the momentum going all year long.

 

This is an IG LIVE -  you can watch it here

Tension of Opposites has been closed and discontinued. 

Patreon will be closed starting 8/16/2026. 

Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE . 

End the war within yourself with Stefi Preiss

 

In this episode, I bring one of my dearest friends and mentors, Stefi Preiss, to discuss a practice that helped me step out of relationship anxiety and commit to my partner (now husband and daddy to my baby!) with my whole heart. We discuss what a polarity looks like, how it can create healing in ourselves, our families, and ultimately — the world (especially in this heatedly escalating political environment).

Tension of Opposites has been closed and discontinued. 

Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that here. 

Hi podcast listener!

I'm back with a fresh episode after having a baby boy.

This episode includes my birth story (which went tremendously well), as well as some changes I'm making moving forward, including to the title of this podcast.

Work with me 1:1:

Tension of the Opposites has been closed and discontinued. 

Patreon will be closed starting 8/16/2026. 

Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE . 

A question we've had come up in our self-study course and also in our DMs– what do you do if your partner watches porn or follows a bunch of hot women on social media? (This speaks mostly to a pattern I see coming from women in relationships with men, but as always, not always.) In this episode, I share some thoughts on (particularly the excessive use of) pornography … as always, take what empowers you, and discard what doesn't. This conversation has lots of context and nuance I can't possibly cover in one episode!

Links:

Email List - Stay in touch

Get my "list of 20 things to rule out before throwing in the towel" by subscribing to my newsletter here.

Both Feet In - Get help at your own pace

Patreon will be closed starting 8/16/2026.

Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that here. 

When you're experiencing relationship anxiety, hearing "trust your gut" or "listen to your intuition" can be one of the most triggering things you can hear. Is your intuition telling you to leave, or is it ROCD? Tune in with Chelsea Joy Horton, OCD specialist with her masters in dance movement therapy and counseling. Together we share the more accurate measurements of determining how to trust your decision about your partner.

 

Email List - Stay in touch

Get my "list of 20 things to rule out before throwing in the towel" by subscribing to my newsletter here.

Both Feet In - Get help at your own pace

Patreon will be closed starting 8/16/2026.

Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that here. 

There are hidden costs of reassurance seeking, the act of trying to find certainty about your relationship. If you tend to constantly be searching for the perfect piece of advice (even from me!), you're addicted to the illusion of certainty as a means of feeling safe. Listen to this episode for things you can do instead to reignite the spark in your relationship and not dampen it through reassurance-seeking.

 

Email List - Stay in touch

Get my "list of 20 things to rule out before throwing in the towel" by subscribing to my newsletter here.

Both Feet In - Get help at your own pace

Patreon will be closed starting 8/16/2026.

Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that here. 

I uncover the psychology of resistance to sex with our partners, along with the techniques I use to release this resistance and open up to intimacy in the bedroom.  

Links: 

Register for the Sex Anxiety Clinic Live on Saturday August 29 at 2 PM PST :  https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/sex-anxiety-clinic

Watch Your Language Masterclass and Conscious Communication Course has been closed and discontinued. 

Patreon will be closed starting 8/16/2026. 

Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE . 

Get my "list of 20 things to rule out before throwing in the towel" by subscribing to my newsletter here. 

How does one know that the relationship they are in is toxic or abusive? I often add the disclaimer to relationship anxiety content to disregard my insight if you're in a toxic or abusive relationship. In this episode, I lay out my nuanced thoughts on this, knowing full well there are limitations even to this line of thinking. We discuss power dynamics, manipulation, unconsciousness, malicious intent, and more. I am also hopeful that you will get more clarity on your situation, because in either case, if you are wondering this question, it is likely there is some unconsciousness that needs addressing.

 

US Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233)

 

Links: 

Watch Your Language Masterclass and Conscious Communication Course has been closed and discontinued. 

Patreon will be closed starting 8/16/2026. 

Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE . 

Get my "list of 20 things to rule out before throwing in the towel" by subscribing to my newsletter here. 

Every worry you're "settling" if you stay with your partner? You're not alone: this thought process isn't your fault and it has good reason for being there-- but there are a ton of ways it isn't helpful when looking at relationships, especially for someone that struggles with relationship OCD. In this episode, we will debunk the myth of "settling" and empower you with some better language to use about your relationship so that you can enjoy what's wonderful right in front of you!       Email List - Stay in touch Get my "list of 20 things to rule out before throwing in the towel" by subscribing to my newsletter HERE.   1:1 Mentorship Promo - Me in your back pocket Get that here.   Both Feet In - Get help at your own pace Patreon will be closed starting 8/16/2026. Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE. 

I am thrilled to welcome back Luci Lampe, a dear friend and mentor. If part of your relationship anxiety stems from lack of sexual desire — you're going to want to listen. We also discuss how neediness can be an incredible gift to awakening sexually.

I've been committed to a daily self-pleasure practice through diligently taking Luci's course "Come As You Are" and have seen incredible results. I've decided to be an ambassador and highly endorse Luci's gifts in this arena ;

The wild awakening has been closed and discontinued. 

Patreon will be closed starting 8/16/2026.

Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that here. 

Email List - Stay in touch

Get my "list of 20 things to rule out before throwing in the towel" by subscribing to my newsletter here. 

My most "meta" episode yet...

If your suffering about your relationship is caused by comparisons to illusions (rose-colored memories of your ex, Disney, Tiktok), then can we flip the dynamic on its head and re-invigorate the relationship by using illusion to our advantage?

Warning: I'm about to ruin attraction for you in this episode.

Who we are:
Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

 

Links mentioned:   Email List - Stay in touch Get my "list of 20 things to rule out before throwing in the towel" by subscribing to my newsletter HERE.   1:1 Mentorship Promo - Me in your back pocket Get that here.   Both Feet In - Get help at your own pace Patreon will be closed starting 8/16/2026. Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE. 

I'm sharing a vulnerable story and a recent personal loss... and what it has taught me. I want to share how loss, pain, grief, and disappointment are portals to the divine... if you will let them be so.

 

Links mentioned:   Email List - Stay in touch Get my "list of 20 things to rule out before throwing in the towel" by subscribing to my newsletter HERE.   1:1 Mentorship Promo - Me in your back pocket Get that here.   Both Feet In - Get help at your own pace Patreon will be closed starting 8/16/2026. Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE. 

I discuss living apart from my husband and the importance of maintaining a separate identity outside of your partnership. When we lack separateness, one or both partners can end up feeling trapped and lacking desire for one another. We cover: why separateness is important for a relationship and what that can look like, how to cultivate it, and what to do if you experience separation anxiety.

 

Links mentioned:   Email List - Stay in touch Get my "list of 20 things to rule out before throwing in the towel" by subscribing to my newsletter HERE.   1:1 Mentorship Promo - Me in your back pocket Get that here.   Both Feet In - Get help at your own pace Patreon will be closed starting 8/16/2026. Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE. 

 

After years of having doubts in my (then) 4-year partnership, I managed to stumble into a breakthrough where I was finally able to confidently and joyfully commit to my awesome partner. In this episode, I share my organic story on how I went from doubting to loving.
 

Email List - Stay in touch

Get my "list of 20 things to rule out before throwing in the towel" by subscribing to my newsletter here.

Patreon has been closed and discontinued.

Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that here. 

In this episode:

• I'm going on maternity leave. Please send me your favorite episodes — I'll be re-purposing them over the next 6 months.
• A story about a viral reel that was grossly misinterpreted by both men and women, and how it was intended to be received — as well as how and why the misinterpretation didn't faze me like it would have in the past (due to judgment towards my relationship/partner)
• What you're actually worried about (it's not about your partner)
• How to drop the fear of judgment for good

Links mentioned:   Email List - Stay in touch Get my "list of 20 things to rule out before throwing in the towel" by subscribing to my newsletter HERE.   1:1 Mentorship Promo - Me in your back pocket Get that here.   Both Feet In - Get help at your own pace Patreon will be closed starting 8/16/2026. Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE.  Love,   Nat

Today's episode was unscripted, and I shared some hard thoughts and feelings I've been having about the podcast, and where I'd like to take this podcast moving forward.   I also shared some perspective shifts women in relationships with men could make, that would enable them to have more harmony with the good men in their lives.  

Email List - Stay in touch

Get my "list of 20 things to rule out before throwing in the towel" by subscribing to my newsletter here.

Patreon and Yin Language has been closed and discontinued.

Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that here. 

Btw Wisio (my "pick my brain" service) is hosting a sale. Ask me anything and get 10% off using the code "THANKS24"   Amazon book list with Queen's Code

Books mentioned in this episode:

The Queen's Code by Alison Armstrong

The Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle

Magnetic Femininity by Ali Douzet

 

Please consider leaving a 5 star review in Apple Podcasts and Spotify, and tell a friend who would benefit from this show.

This episode is for you if you perceive your partner doesn't care about you, or things in your relationship that you want them to care about— OR if your partner perceives YOU don't care. Either way, you'll have some new tools to work with to have better conversations!   Btw— happy 100th episode! Thanks for supporting this podcast. You guys are great.   Links mentioned:   Email List - Stay in touch Get my "list of 20 things to rule out before throwing in the towel" by subscribing to my newsletter HERE.   1:1 Mentorship Promo - Me in your back pocket Get that here.   Both Feet In - Get help at your own pace Patreon will be closed starting 8/16/2026. Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE. 

Storytime: this episode reveals the moment my whole life turned around and I chose my partner, and what I believe it takes to access a place inside of yourself where making that kind of decision naturally happens with ease and even a sense of relief.   Join me for Anxious to Spacious October 24th - November 30th: 6 weeks to open your heart and transform relationship anxiety into profound love   Both Feet In Self Study   I also mentioned Stefi. Here is her website and offerings: www.alpenhafen.at   Ask me anything on Wisio

I'd love to give you a better understanding of intuition in this episode. This is the MOST common question I receive... and before I give you the answer, I'd like to point out some issues with the question itself.   You'll learn:

• What intuition is and isn't
• The false dichotomy you might accidentally be pigeonholing yourself into
• The limitations of only doing somatic work and meditation for relationship anxiety
• How to use your anxiety to communicate better

  J Join Tension of Opposites Every Saturday from July 11 through August 22 at 10:00 AM PST / 1:00 PM EST / 6:00 PM GMT.   Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE:

Overhaul, my 1 on 1 relationship anxiety program:
https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/work1-1

  Other links:

• Ask me anything on Wisio
• Podcast Ep 81: May I tell you about my miscarriage?

Ever felt anxious or embarrassed by your socially awkward partner? You're not alone and not crazy. I've got you. Here's a mental shift you can make to have more peace, and also some actionable steps you can take to support your partner in becoming more of a social butterfly.   Links:

• Join Tension of Opposites Every Saturday from July 11 through August 22 at 10:00 AM PST / 1:00 PM EST / 6:00 PM GMT.   Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE:

  Overhaul, my 1 on 1 relationship anxiety program:
  https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/work1-1

Does your partner tune you out, or get defensive and withdrawn when you try to get vulnerable with them? Check you're not accidentally repelling them by doing this one thing.   If you prefer to watch the IG live you can do so  here  

• Join Tension of Opposites Every Saturday from July 11 through August 22 at 10:00 AM PST / 1:00 PM EST / 6:00 PM GMT.   Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE:

  Overhaul, my 1 on 1 relationship anxiety program:
  https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/work1-1

This goes for any women in relationships with men, or yin people in relations with yang people. If you find yourself feeling "off" in your relationship, it might not be you're in the wrong relationship but playing the wrong role. Here's how to flip it!   Join Tension of Opposites Every Saturday from July 11 through August 22 at 10:00 AM PST / 1:00 PM EST / 6:00 PM GMT.   Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE:

Overhaul, my 1 on 1 relationship anxiety program:
https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/work1-1

  Other mentions: Send me a Wisio

I'm sharing something a relationship coach shared with me that really shook me up and convinced me to step up in my relationship and quit committing to the story I was powerless to do anything about my anxiety. It may be hard for some of you to hear, but for some it may be empowering. Love is not always pleasant and nurturing-sounding. That said, there is no advice that is one-size-fits-all, so take what you need and discard what you don't.

Links:

How I broke free from relationship anxiety - episode 1

How I Broke Free from Relationship Anxiety: Revisited - episode 57

Join Tension of Opposites Every Saturday from July 11 through August 22 at 10:00 AM PST / 1:00 PM EST / 6:00 PM GMT.   Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE:

Overhaul, my 1 on 1 relationship anxiety program:
https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/work1-1

Scientific, biological, and spiritual reasons why you might feel disconnected from your partner before and during your period. I speak both to women experiencing this, and men who might want to know how to respond to this! I would like to reasure you that this dynamic is NOT a problem -- it is merely a symptom of one, and I'd like you to think much bigger at the internal imbalances at play so that you can enjoy one another all cycle long. If you get PMS, PMDD, anxiety, OCD, breakup urges strongest during your second half... this episode was MADE for you.    Nat's Amazon book recomendations   My previous episode of Anxious Love Coach on the menstral cycle   Join Tension of Opposites Every Saturday from July 11 through August 22 at 10:00 AM PST / 1:00 PM EST / 6:00 PM GMT.   Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE:

Overhaul, my 1 on 1 relationship anxiety program:
https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/work1-1

 

 

In the past I've touched on this as an incompatibility, but as usual — I think it's more nuanced than that, and there are a few things you might do to try to get on the same page before you either hang up your desires or call it quits.

Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE:

Overhaul, my 1 on 1 relationship anxiety program:
https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/work1-1

After a few-months long hiatus, I'm happy to share what I've been up to: settling down and starting a new life. In this episode, I share some of my own humbling realities and observations of trying to conceive. Do with them what you want. I hope you find them both reassuring and illuminating.

 

Work with me

 

1. Podcast, Instagram, Tiktok, email. Subscribe to my email for a free relationship anxiety meditation. Always free

2. Patreon -

   Patreon will be closed starting 8/16/2026. Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE.

3. Wisio - ask me anything and I'll make you a custom video reply with my immediate thoughts on your situation: $67

4. I have room to take a few 1:1 clients. Book your session(s) here: $500-$1900

This episode is a recording of an impromptu Instagram Live I did last week. If you can see this pattern in yourself, you can also find freedom!

 

Work with me:

1. Next Patreon Community Call: Friday, June 7th at 8am PST. The call will last 2.5 hours. We will have an embodiment practice with Chelsea Horton from Healing Embodied, and then she and I will host a Q&A together. Become a patron here

2. I am currently open for 1:1 sessions. You can book yours (or buy a 4-pack) here.

3. Ask me anything on Wisio and I'll make you a custom video in response within 7 days.

 

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

My most "meta" episode yet...

 

If your suffering about your relationship is caused by comparisons to illusions (rose-colored memories of your ex, Disney, Tiktok), then can we flip the dynamic on its head and re-invigorate the relationship by using illusion to our advantage?

 

Warning: I'm about to ruin attraction for you in this episode.

 

**Upcoming: Sex Anxiety Clinic with Shayna Hiller - A virtual masterclass to awaken pleasure, and release shame and dread in the bedroom: March 14, 2024 at 2pm PST/5pm EST. Register here.

 

Ask me anything on Wisio: www.wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

 

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

 

 

Time Stamps:

4:55 - Falling for the illusion of your partner

13:00 - Finding a partner that challenges your unconsciousness

16:35 - Two ways to improve your sex life

22:55 - Our sex anxiety clinic

If you've ever experienced dread around making love due to the "ick," pain, anxiety, shame, or being too tired, this episode is for you! I'm excited to introduce a dear friend and mentor of mine, who is also a trained Tao Tantric Priestess, Integrative Nutrition Coach, and Yoga Teacher. Her name is Shayna Hiller. In this episode, we will discuss the causes of dread around sex, as well as what you can do to start looking forward to sex especially if it's gotten stale in the bedroom. You're not alone; No, you're not broken, and no, you're not necessarily with the wrong partner if you're not feeling turned on by their mere presence!

This is a replay of an older episode. We're revisiting this conversation because the topic of sex anxiety is still so relevant. Please disregard any dates or events mentioned in the original recording.

Register for the Sex Anxiety Clinic Live on Saturday August 29 at 2 PM PST :  https://www.anxiouslovecoach.com/sex-anxiety-clinic

 

As of 7/11/26: The new community, Both Feet In, is where you find my community. Access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that here. 

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Shayna Hiller @Shaynahiller

 

Time Stamps:

6:52 Shayna's long-term celibacy in her twenties

12:43  Clearing sexual trauma through the tantric arts

19:51  Inspiring your partner to be their best selves

26:34  Deciding that you don't like sex, when the reality is that you dislike the sex you are having

30:21  How stress leads to anxiety in the bedroom

37:10  Normalizing the ebbs and flows in your relationship and your sex life

38:30  Scheduling sex

46:15  What to do when you dread having sex with your healthy, loving partner

1:05:00 Sex Anxiety Masterclass on March 14th 2pm PST

1:11:12 You are wired for pleasure

1:14:43 Shayna's Embodied Wisdom Retreat

An underrated skill in the path of overcoming relationship anxiety: reclaiming softness, befriending anxiety, and learning to trust and follow glimmers of joy. This episode was so tender and beautiful it made me weepy. I am very grateful to present to you this episode with Jessica Fawn, yoga and tantra teacher. We spoke about seeing anxiety as a profound messenger for healing, and learning to nurture it— and what that can look like in the context of partnership.

Also, I will be joining her Temple membership, so see you there 🙂

Temple is Jessica Fawn's online school for women's softness & sensuality. Memberships start at 15$ per month. Doors open March 25-28th.

The daily schedule includes goddess tantra, art therapy, archetypal work, moon rituals, sensual dance, and self-love cultivation.

To read more about Temple: www.intothetemple.com/temple-school

 

Special gift for Anxious Love Coach Podcast listeners: receive 10% OFF on all plans: use the coupon code SISTERLOVE

 

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Jessica Fawn @jessicafawn_

 

Time Stamps:

4:00 - Jessica's journey through anxiety and depression

8:40 - The power of embracing your anxiety

15:20 - What does "softness" mean in the feminine context?

19:00 - Working with a dysregulated nervous system from an embodiment perspective

30:45 - Jessica's Temple program

If you've experienced profound healing and liberation from relationship anxiety, you may have felt the desire to pass this transformation on to others. If that's you, you're going to want to give this a listen and hear what it's like to be on the other side as a practitioner, and what it takes to hold outstanding healing space for others. Also, my dearest friend is hosting the first practitioner program of its kind that I've seen. I highly endorse this and recommend you join.

Get a personalized video response: wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE. 

 

Waitlist link: https://healingembodied.kartra.com/page/practitioner-training

You can also email Chelsea - chelsea@healingembodied.com

Upcoming free event for those interested: https://healingembodied.kartra.com/page/hangout

 

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Chelsea Joy Horton @Healingembodied

 

Time Stamps:

8:00  Chelsea and Natalie's paths into relationship anxiety and embodiment work

12:05 Downsides of working in the world of therapy

18:30 How Chelsea's current work differs from traditional therapy

38:15 Creating a "human first" business

45:00 Chelsea's practitioner training program

Two things are true: 1) I am unqualified to speak on ERP and OCD and 2) I am sharing my thoughts about ERP for those that still want to hear them even though I am unqualified.

What is ERP (Exposure & Response Prevention)? How helpful is it for those with relationship anxiety? What are its strengths and limitations? In this episode, I'll share my thoughts on this treatment.

Get a personalized video response: wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE. 

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

 

Time Stamps:

5:04 What is ERP (exposure response therapy)?

9:34  The dangers of disassociating

13:00  What is polarity work?

20:00 Compassionate self-inquiry

My beloved Aunt Diane sent me some tips and I don't gatekeep. Listen up!

 

Get a personalized video response: wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE. 

 

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

Hey! I'm testing out a new mic, so bear with me. 😉

If you tend to compare your partner to other people in real life or online, this episode is for you! I used to struggle with this a lot, but these tools have become second nature to me now and both my husband and I are much happier and more in love than ever.

 

Get a personalized video response: wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE. 

 

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

 

Time Stamps:

3:50 Grieving the lives that you were unable to live

4:40 Tips to stop comparing your relationship to those of others

13:40 Both Feet In - Abridged

So many clients of mine feel ashamed when they experience a crush while in partnership. It's a highly charged, delicate topic! You're not alone, and you're not a bad partner. If you've experienced this, I'd like to give you some tools to navigate it ethically while also honoring your humanness. I'll be covering 5 tips to get you from freaking out, to getting under the surface of your crush, to using it to enhance your relationship with yourself and maybe even your loved one.

Get a personalized video response: wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE. 

 

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

 

Time Stamps:

3:50 Allowing the fantasy of the crush

5:30 What happens in your mind is private

6:40 Who we perceive ourselves to be in the fantasy

9:15 Grieving your unlived lives

12:10 Working with the tension between opposites

15:20 Acknowledging what is going right in your relationship

 

Trigger warning: this episode is a story. It is chock-full of triggers, pain, grief, mentions of death, blood, and gore. If you've experienced miscarriage and there are some sore spots and tenderness, I might wait until you've gotten enough support to grieve before listening to this. In this episode, I share a recent loss, and how I've coped with it through ritual, embodiment, and dark humor. I'll also share the incredible things it taught me about love, loss, and letting go...

 

This may not be a "relationship anxiety" episode, but for those of you who are willing to traverse with me to a darker, messier place, I'm hopeful you'll gain metaphorical, transferable lessons on self-trust from a story where I go deeper than I've ever been able to go before... you may find it applies to you deeply still if you have ever loved.

 

Get a personalized video response: wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE. 

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach

 

Time Stamps:

8:15 - Finding out that I was pregnant

13:15 - Dealing with my miscarriage

30:04 - Surrendering to and trusting the universe in the midst of fear

48:00 - My feelings after the miscarriage

1:00:01 - Gratitude as a response to adversity

I entered my relationship "knowing" Preston was the one... but then, years in, I stopped knowing anymore! In this episode, I speak to the younger version of myself that was struggling horribly with relationship anxiety. Some of you are in this place and I want to remind you that A) you're not alone, and B) you don't need to suffer with this forever. There are tools to give you clarity and support you with your doubts and fears.

Get a personalized video response: wisio.com/anxiouslovecoach

Both Feet In is my community where you can access my core relationship anxiety relief curriculum, with PDFs, videos, audios, calls with me 2-3x/month, and a community feed to make connections with others on the same journey as you. Access that HERE. 

P.S. Thanks so much for your support after my last episode... I am feeling much better. I plan to speak on my experience more in a separate episode. But for now... I'm so grateful for my life and want to keep going.

Also, I tried to make a shorter episode and failed 😄 OH WELL

 

Who we are:

Natalie Kennedy @Anxiouslovecoach