Friends, it's the 100th episode! So, isn't it about time we talked about what perfectionism is, and why it's a problem? It's over 4 years since I recorded the first episode of this podcast, and I've learnt a LOT about perfectionism from the 99 episodes I've released so far - not to mention from the many hundreds of hours of coaching people I've done. Leave that unfinished project, that untidy desk, and that incomplete task list, and join your old imperfectionist friend for some perfection-related truth bombs.

It's a familiar story. We're feeling stuck and out-of-our-depth with our writing, so we decide we'll go and do a bit more reading - just, you know, to soak up some of the wisdom out there and become better informed and therefore better qualified to continue writing. But sadly, reading for these reasons ends up making us feel less informed and qualified, not more. Sometimes, when we're stuck, we need to write, not read. And when we do read, we need to have an agenda. We need to know exactly why we're reading. Step away from the library card, and let your Imperfectionist friend talk some sense into you.

Reference:

Mullaney, T. S. and Rea, C. 2022: Where Research Begins: Choosing a Research Project that Matters to You (and the World) (Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press).

Does your writing time ever turn into a stressful nightmare? You don't make the progress you hoped in the morning, which means you need to be even more productive in the afternoon, but then you end up too stressed to start, and then it gets so late that you write the day off as a failure and promise to do better tomorrow ... except you start tomorrow stressed about how little you accomplished the day before, and the cycle repeats itself. Take a deep breath, friends. The Academic Imperfectionist is here to show you a way out of this nastiness.

It's good to be grateful, right? Well, maybe ... but maybe not. Sometimes our gratitude is toxic: we use it to suppress and ignore negative feelings like anger, resentment, frustration, and dissatisfaction. Those negative feelings can hold the key to making important changes in our lives. You're as entitled to your negative feelings as you are to your gratitude. Put that gratitude journal down, and listen to your anger!

Athletes know that if they want to improve their performance, they need to incorporate rest into their training. You, on the other hand, are absolutely certain that if only you could write for 25 hours a day (which you can't because you're a terrible person) you'd be at the top of your game. Luckily for you, your Imperfectionist friend is here to talk some sense into you.

References:

Ansorge, R. 2022: 'Rest and recovery are critical for an athlete's physiological and psychological well-being', UCHealth Today (https://www.uchealth.org/today/rest-and-recovery-for-athletes-physiological-psychological-well-being/)

Pang, A. S.-K. 2016: Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less (London: Penguin)

Do you ever tell yourself that it's your own fault that you don't have what you want in life, because you just don't have the willpower do get it? If so, willpower is not your problem, and thinking otherwise is stopping you from flourishing. Your problem is your lack of clarity and focus about what you want. Yes, really. Now, download the shit out of this episode and have a listen.

Never give up, right? Winners never quit and quitters never win! All nonsense, I'm afraid. The sensible advice is much more measured and boring: quit when it's appropriate to quit. But how do you know when it's appropriate to quit? And have we really got quitting all wrong? Listen on, friends, and find out.

Here's Annie Duke talking sense about quitting on The Spark podcast. Download the Core Values exercise here, and the 5 Whys exercise here.

Reference:

Duke, A. 2022: Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away (London: Penguin).

Did you know that your brain never devotes more than 0.5% of its power to important things like finding food, avoiding predators, thinking, perceiving, and feeling? And that this is because you're always bloody using the other 99.5% for comparing yourself unfavourably to other people?  Admittedly, I just made that up - but you do spend far too much time and energy on comparison. You know you shouldn't, because it makes you feel bad. But there's another, seldom-recognised reason to avoid comparing yourself to others: comparison is a completely inadequate and very biased tool for self-evaluation. 

I've been thinking: how might someone summarise the main bits of advice from all 85 (so far) episodes of this podcast? Gather round the virtual campfire, friends, and let's talk about those things that I can't seem to stop banging on about. They are:

• The reverse Golden Rule (don't treat yourself in a way that would be too disrespectful or unkind to treat another person)
• Understand your inner critic
• Being mean to yourself doesn't help you
• Reject binary thinking

Perhaps you're already familiar with what social psychologists have had to say about the fundamental attribution error, but did you know that it has a secret role in magnifying your anxieties about your worth? If you're prone to worrying about how everyone else in your field is more talented and smart than you are, then gather round. Your Imperfectionist friend is here to give you the real explanation - and the antidote.

Where did we all get this idea that if we want to succeed, we need to go faster? And that if we haven't succeeded yet, that must mean that we're probably not good enough? Sometimes, the reason we haven't succeeded isn't that we're not good enough, but that we haven't waited long enough. And that means that doing better doesn't necessarily require being better - it means holding on for longer. Swallow your impatience, friends, and gather round to hear about a key to success that is hiding in plain sight.

Here's the tweet by Billy Oppenheimer discussed in the episode.

No, not like that. I'm not talking about how to achieve the ultimate happiness, eudaimonia, or enlightenment. I'm simply talking about how to enjoy your down-time without feeling like you're doing it wrong. If you've ever looked forward to a well-deserved day off and then settled down for some serious relaxation only to find yourself consumed by anxiety about whether you're enjoying yourself enough, this episode is for you.

References:

Diener, E., Sandvik, E., and Pavot, W. 2009: 'Happiness is the frequency, not the intensity, of positive versus negative affect', in Diener, E. (ed.) Assessing Well-Being: The Collected Works of Ed Diener, Social Indicators Research Series 39: 213-231.

Mauss, I. B., Tamir, M., Anderson, C. L., and Savino, N. S. 2011: 'Can seeking happiness make people unhappy? Paradoxical effects of valuing happiness', Emotion 11/4: 767.

How well do you know yourself? Are there feelings that you have, or things that you care about, that you're in complete denial about? Trust me, there probably are - you just haven't noticed. And it's a problem, because until you can acknowledge the things that make you happy (or unhappy) and the things you care about, you can't even begin to build the life you want. Get the kettle on and join your Imperfectionist chum for some self-policing troubleshooting.

When I came across Dr Debbie Sorensen's recent article, 'How to recover from burnout', I knew I had to get her on the podcast! Debbie is a Denver-based psychologist with nearly 20 years of clinical experience, specialising in burnout, chronic stress, and anxiety. Her own struggle with burnout, along with her experience helping others, make her an absolute goldmine of insight and actionable strategies that you can apply to your own life. Stop fantasising about how today is the day you'll finally catch up on everything, get the kettle on, and settle down to listen to what Debbie has to say. You'll be glad you did.

Debbie is the author of two books, ACT for Burnout and ACT Daily Journal, and a co-host of Psychologists Off The Clock podcast. You can find out more about Debbie by visiting her website. 

Are you hesitant to make certain changes in your life, like changing careers or ending a relationship, because you don't want the time and energy you've invested in your life so far to be wasted? If so, you're not alone - but you're wrong. Recognising that aspects of your life aren't working for you doesn't mean your efforts have been wasted. Your life isn't an essay draft, where bad choices and wrong turns get cut from the final draft. You're holding yourself back, and your imperfect friend is here to put a stop to it.

When you're procrastinating, reluctant to knuckle down and get on with your work, taking way too long to do what ought to be a straightforward task, do you respond with self-compassion and non-judgmental curiosity as you try to work out what the problem is? Thought not. Instead, you tell yourself that you're lazy and disorganised and shouldn't even have been allowed to graduate from primary school, don't you? There's a problem with that, though. You might think you're holding yourself to account and pushing yourself to aim high, but in fact you're standing in the way of your own progress. Here's what to do instead!

Check out the brand new What Am I Afraid Of? exercise.

I keep getting asked what my working day looks like. You know, as if I've cracked this whole productivity thing. I definitely haven't, but I have managed to make positive changes over the past few years as a result of making the sorts of changes I talk about on this podcast. Let me tell you about how it's all gone - not so that you can do things the way I do them (please don't!), but so you can see that change really is possible. Oh, and I'm also going to tell you about Simba, our community cat, who has been CATapulted to fame over the past week or so.

Donate to help look after Simba!

Your problem with self-compassion: the one that leads you to be kind and supportive to other people, but nasty and vindictive to yourself. One reason you struggle with the 'self' part of 'self-compassion' is that you view yourself as separate from other people. But what if you aren't? What if the gap between you and others is simply too small and inconsequential to support your difficult-to-shake belief that it's wrong to be nasty to people, unless the person you're being nasty to is yourself? Your imperfectionist friend is lobbing a giant metaphysics truth bomb that is going to blow apart your conviction that compassion is for everyone except you.

Find Kristin Neff's website about self-compassion here.

Reference:

Parfit, D. 1984: Reasons and Persons (Oxford: Oxford University Press).

Here we are, a third of the way through January. Have you slipped up on your new year resolutions yet? Will you be kind to yourself if you do? Or will you tell yourself that you're a failure, you can't do anything right, you should just do everyone a favour and give up now? The thing is, friend, there's a dark side to positive change. Too many of us are motivated to change for the better because we don't think we're acceptable as we are. We don't feel entitled to ease back and enjoy life. We wouldn't know how. The idea of an ordinary, unremarkable life terrifies us. We like to think of our drive and ambition as positive things - but what if they're fuelled by our lack of self-acceptance? Get yourself comfortable, and let's look again at mediocrity.

Find the 5 whys exercise here.

Go here for 'The benefit of breaking your New Year's resolutions', my article for the IAI.

'Overcoming the need to be exceptional' by The School of Life can be read here (paywalled) and listened to (not paywalled) here.

Are you a sucker for self-improvement advice that offers to overhaul your life for the better overnight, even though you know that (unfortunately) it's not that simple? Yeah, same. There's a reason you're attracted to advice like that, and there's a way to get the life you want. It's not instant or magic or even wall-to-wall rewarding, but it is possible, and it is worth doing. Pull up a virtual chair, and let The Academic Imperfectionist explain all.

Yeah, I know you're diligently working towards that big goal, and that you STILL haven't got there yet. But are you stopping to reflect on your progress along the way, and to celebrate small wins? If the answer is no, then you're sabotaging yourself, chipping away at your motivation, and generally making yourself miserable. Progress tunnel vision can keep you stuck in a loop - but here's the Academic Imperfectionist with a lifeline!

For the Progress Temperature Check exercise, go here. Go here for the Goal Contract exercise, and here for the Wheel of Life.

Here's Rick Hanson's Psychology Today article, 'Recognize What Is Improving in Your Life'.

I know. Your life needs an overhaul, but where are you supposed to find the energy to fix it? You're struggling to keep your head above water as it is. The thing is, friend, not all demands on you are equal. The demands that are imposed on you by others exhaust you and send your anxiety skyrocketing - but those that you choose autonomously can energise you. Autonomy is important: just ask Immanuel Kant, John Stuart Mill, Isaiah Berlin, and Harry Frankfurt. How do you choose autonomously? I'm glad you asked.

You can find the Identify Your Core Values exercise here, and the 5 Whys exercise here.

Read a sample of For F*ck's Sake: Why Swearing is Shocking, Rude, and Fun here, and buy it in all the usual places!

Reference

Martina Svensson, Philip Rosvall, Antonio Boza-Serrano, Emelie Andersson, Jan Lexell, Tomas Deierborg, 2016: 'Forced treadmill exercise can induce stress and increase neuronal damage in a mouse model of global cerebral ischemia', Neurobiology of Stress, Volume 5, Pages 8-18. 

Look at you there, always striving, always becoming, always hustling. When do you ever get to pause and just ... be? Do you even know how? Plenty of us don't. We had no problem just chilling and enjoying the moment when we were kids, but somewhere along the way, we lost that ability. We don't know how to enjoy life any more. In which case, what's the point of any of this? Put your existential angst on ice, friend, because The Academic Imperfectionist has you covered.

Go here (and thank you!) if you'd like to donate to my fundraising for the brain injury charity, Headway.

Read Laura Vanderkam's short article about savouring here.


Reference:

Bryant, F. B. and Veroff, J. 2007: Savoring: A New Model of Positive Experience (Routledge).

Just as trees aren't meant to remain stiff and unyielding in the face of a storm, you aren't meant to remain efficient and relaxed in the face of mounting demands. Bending isn't a weakness; it's what you need to do to survive. But it's only your branches that need to bend - your roots need to stay put. Do you know what your roots are? Snuggle up with a cuppa for some arboreal advice from The Academic Imperfectionist.

For the 'Identify Your Core Values' exercise mentioned in this episode, click here.

To read Julia Butterfly Hill's essay, 'Surviving the Storm: Lessons from Nature', click here.

What do you do when you have no idea? When you literally can't think of anything to write about? I don't know why I'm asking. I already know the answer: you panic and run to your favourite productivity websites for a new hack to solve it, right? And you definitely, definitely don't tell anyone, because struggling to come up with ideas is a shameful secret that you must guard with your very life. 

Friend, step away from the productivity hacks. Having no idea is something we've all experienced. It's even - hear me out - a completely normal part of the writing process. To fix it, though, you need to do something very scary. You need to relax and let go. 

Do you tell yourself that if only you had a day of uninterrupted time ahead of you (and, of course, the right stationery), you'd finally be able to get some writing done - only to procrastinate your precious writing time away when you do finally get what you need? Thought so. Your problem is that you wouldn't know a good writing opportunity even if it walked up to you and poked you in the eye. Put down that stationery catalogue and let your Imperfectionist friend sort you out.

Writing is why we all do what we do - or at least, a big part of it. But it's also a source of intense anxiety, whether we're new to it or whether we've been at it for years. So, here's another start-of-the-new-academic-year imperfectionist special for you. Your imperfect pal here set out to create a little survival guide for new students who want to get their essay-writing off to a good start - but along the way, it turns out that there are plenty of lessons about writing that are useful to revisit even for those of us who have clocked up thousands of hours of writing (and procrastinating). New pencils at the ready: let's get started!

Here are the books on writing mentioned in the episode:

Jensen, J. 2017: Write No Matter What (Chicago: University of Chicago Press).
Sword, H. 2017: Air & Light &Time & Space (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press).

Do you ever try to read philosophy (or some other stodgy not-designed-for-entertainment text) and find yourself struggling to understand ... well, any of it? Do you finish reading a paragraph and find that you have absolutely no idea what it was about? Does it take you an entire day just to read one chapter? Of course not - you'd never admit to any of it, anyway. Even five-year-olds can read, so there's no way anyone's blowing the lid off your shameful reading troubles.  But don't worry. Here's your Imperfectionist friend to lay it all bare and help make reading less of a time-consuming headache. (Spoiler: perfectionism is to blame, again.)

If you won't accept anything less than perfection from yourself, I have some disappointing news from Ancient Greece. Back in the 4th (ish) century BC, Plato was telling anyone who would listen that perfection doesn't even exist in the material world - so, save your energy and lower your standards. Get the kettle on and then gather round to learn what this means for you, from Plato, Socrates, and ... erm, the Barbie movie.

Here's the monologue by American Ferrera (as Gloria) in Barbie:

'It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.

'You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that’s crass. You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean. You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas. You’re supposed to love being a mother, but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman, but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men’s bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining.

'You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood. But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

'I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don’t even know.'

I get it: you want to be less of a perfectionist, more confident and assertive, less of a procrastinator, and all the rest of it. These, after all, are things that hold us back - or so we often think. As it happens, though, things are more complicated than that. Those same traits that stand in your way are the same ones that have enabled you to achieve awesome things. Is there a way to get the 'awesome things' bit without the 'stand in your way' bit? Well, put up a chair, chum - the Academic Imperfectionist has some thoughts.

We all love a bit of productivity porn. What could be wrong with learning about how to get better at getting things done? Well, quite a few things, as it happens. Seeking out the latest productivity tools and techniques can be a way to mask the anxieties you have around your work. To avoid the pitfalls, you need to look inward and think about how you go about getting stuff done. Gather round, friends, and let's dive in.

We all hate failure. We're terrified of it. And so, when I chalked up a big fat failure a few days ago, I knew immediately that I needed to dissect it for you lot. The key lesson here? Our unwillingness to look failure square in the face is holding us back.

Read Costica Bradatan's Psyche essay about Emil Cioran here.

We're constantly encouraged to strive for work/life balance. But it's a horrible, victim-blaming, damaging metaphor, and it tricks us into thinking we should take on more than we're able to cope with. And, besides, who wants to spend their entire career balancing stuff?! Your Imperfectionist friend is here with some truth bombs about how you ought to be thinking about how to manage all that stuff you have going on, and how you can view it all in a way that makes it easier to find and enforce healthy boundaries.

To find the 'Identify your core values' exercise and the 'Wheel of life' exercise mentioned in the episode, go to The Academic Imperfectionist Resources page.

You know that remaining in your comfort zone is basically a psychic crime, right? Like, only losers do that. Successful people are out there pushing boundaries and loving life. Bummer that, by definition, they have to spend their entire time in discomfort, but whatever. Who needs comfort when you've got self-actualisation?

Sorry pals, but this is all daft nonsense. Join your Imperfectionist friend for some truth bombs about comfort zones and a guilt-free pass to tossing that stick that you've been using to beat yourself.

Whatever it is that you're doing and however it is that you're doing it, you're telling yourself that you're doing it wrong and anyway you ought to be doing something else instead. Right? You feel guilty even when you know you're doing the right thing. You feel guilty even before you've decided what you have to feel guilty about. Your entire mind is an immersive, surround-sound, interactive theatre of turbo-charged guilt. Take a break from your hectic schedule of self-flagellation and let your Imperfectionist friend rein that shit in for you.

Have you ever thrown far more time and energy into your work than you get paid for? Have you ever said yes to a request to be on a dull and time-consuming committee because you want to show what a great colleague you are? Have you ever done too much for too little, because you hope that it will all pay off in the end when you get that secure job, that PhD position, or that grant? If so, my friend, you've been engaging in hope labour, and Dr David Brax is worried about you. With stress, burnout, and precarity rife in academia, Dr Brax is asking: should universities be profiting from the unpaid efforts of people who may or may not end up rewarded?

Dr David Brax is a senior investigator at the Swedish Secretariat for Gender Research at the University of Gothenburg. You can find him on Bluesky. Here's Google's English translation of a recent article that he wrote in Swedish about hope labour.

You know better than to vow, after chomping your way through your fifth slice of chocolate cake, that starting tomorrow you're only ever going to eat salad and you're going to run 10 miles before breakfast every single day, forever. After all, nobody could keep that up, right? Be realistic! But plenty of you are setting your sights on productivity goals that are just as unrealistic. Come for a chat with your imperfectionist friend and have some sense lovingly knocked into you.

Self-acceptance is overrated, right? I mean, sure, you might feel more at peace if you could manage to accept yourself - but there's so much wrong with you, and accepting yourself would involve giving up on trying to fix all that and accepting that you're never going to be any more assertive, successful, skilled, and confident than you are now. Self-acceptance is just a fancy term for quitting. Right??

Oh dear. What if I were to tell you that if you don't already have self-acceptance, you're not going to get it through self-improvement? And that not only can self-acceptance and self-improvement happily coexist, but self-improvement is much easier when it comes from a place of self-acceptance? Get the kettle on and the earbuds in, and let your Imperfectionist friend talk some sense into you.

It would be great if we never felt insecure or anxious or scared when we had to do things like ask for money or refuse a request or even just get on with writing what we're supposed to be writing. But this sort of discomfort can be really hard to shift, no matter how much we work on our confidence and how many affirmations we scribble on post-it notes and stick to our monitor. It can be tempting, then, to think that we need to put off doing the hard things until we've got a few more years of therapy under our belts. But - and hear me out here - what if we just did them, even though they're horrible? What if you could ignore your discomfort and just get on with life? If you're game, friend, your Imperfectionist cheerleader has some words of advice to help you get started.

Here's an (admittedly quite old) article summarising research on affective forecasting and the like: We don't know our own strength

Reference:

Wilson, T. D. and Gilbert, D. T. 2005: 'Affective forecasting: knowing what to want', Current Directions in Psychological Science 14/3: 131-134.

You're trying to hold down your job/studies while raising your child/pet/houseplants and maybe also doing a couple of part-time jobs but also volunteering for a handful of committees/projects/whatever. There aren't enough hours in the day to do all this well, or even adequately. How do you avoid feeling like a complete failure? Well, friends, obviously you need to drop the committee and stuff. And then you need to rethink what the problem is here (spoiler: it's not you) and what really matters (spoiler: it's not the stuff you're worrying about).

Rachel Aviv's profile of Martha Nussbaum in The New Yorker is here.

References:

Brooks, D. 2016: The Road to Character (Penguin).
Harmon, J. L. (ed.) 2007: Take My Advice (Simon & Schuster).
Palmer, P. J. 2009: A Hidden Wholeness (Jossey-Bass).

It's bad enough that you're nowhere near as productive as you ought to be (according to you) - but, to make things worse, you can't ever get any help with this problem, because that would involve fessing up to the shameful truth that you are a terrible human being who doesn't work as hard as they ought to work and therefore deserves to be shunned from civilised society forever. Is there any way out of this hellish situation without revealing your villainous nature? Don't worry, friend. You're in safe, non-judgmental hands. The Academic Imperfectionist is here to help you understand and overcome that shame you're dealing with.

Your weakness of will is one of your inner critic's favourite topics. She can go on for days about how weak-willed you are. But, did you know that, over the centuries, philosophers have had a tough time making any coherent sense of the idea of weakness of will - and that, according to some philosophical heavy-hitters like Socrates and R. M. Hare, there is no such thing? You don't hit the snooze button or use your writing time to watch cat videos because you're weak, on this view. You do it because your values are glitching. And framing it this way opens the door to finding solutions that don't involve piling shame and guilt on yourself. 

That positive change you need to make, which you're not making. It's because of your perfectionist anxieties, right? It's because of the intimidating hugeness of the task, because of your lack of confidence in your abilities to deal with problems along the way, because of your daddy issues and your need to maintain a work-life balance and your conscientious reluctance to commit to something you might not see through. 

Sorry, pal, but that's all bollocks. Your amazing brain, which is the very reason you shine like the brilliant star you are, is tying you up in overthinking knots here. Stop wringing your hands and STFU for a second. Just make a start, and see (a lot of) your problems melt away.

Sometimes, there is such a massive gap between how things are now and how we'd like them to be that there's no point even trying to make changes because any change we make would be so insignificant in the grand scheme of things that it's too depressing even to think about. Better just to ignore the problem, because who has the energy for that shit, right? But also: how the hell are you going to get anywhere with this attitude?

Glad you asked, because there is a way. You don't have to give up on your big goals, and your efforts to reach them aren't doomed to insignificance either. You just need to change the way you think about them. It's painless, I promise.

We all know to expect less of people who are dealing with something difficult like bereavement or job loss or a divorce. But what about when something great happens to us? What if we can't focus because we've just landed the job of our dreams and we're ecstatic about it? Truth bomb, friends: you might not feel entitled to take it easy when everything is going well, but happiness can make it just as hard to focus as misery.

The 'Optimize your workspace' episode of the Huberman Lab podcast mentioned in this episode is here.

Are you supportive and compassionate and generally nice to yourself on those days when you've disappointed yourself? So many of us aren't. We have no idea whether it's even possible. We tell ourselves that either we're flawlessly successful or we're embarrassing failures, and since none of us is flawlessly successful, we all spend far too much time beating ourselves up for being embarrassing failures, which is an incredible waste because there's actually a lot of space between success and failure, and it's where we all hang out pretty much all the time. What if you could inhabit this space comfortably, and work towards your goals imperfectly and fearlessly? Wouldn't you get more out of yourself if you could do that instead of that 'I'm a failure' thing you usually do? Snuggle up and listen, and your imperfect friend here will tell you how.

I know you think you shouldn't be making time in your life for hobbies, what with being so shamefully behind on your writing and everything. And I know that you know that, despite this, you probably should be making time for hobbies, because in theory you do actually need to relax sometimes, you suppose, so maybe you'll consider taking up chess or macrame or ice skating just as soon as you've caught up with everything you're behind on (or as soon as someone adds a 25th hour to the day, which is probably more likely). But did you also know that having hobbies helps you resist and correct your perfectionist tendencies? No? Hit the download button, snuggle up, and prepare to accept that maybe you should be taking that crash course in pole dancing after all.

There's a free, online version of William James's Principles of Psychology here.

Plucky Not Perfect podcast.

You've had 50 episodes of this podcast so far (well, 51 including this one). That's 50 bits of advice for you to absorb, think about, and implement to make yourself feel better about stuff. We've looked at what to do about procrastination, how to feel less anxious about productivity, how to deal with impostor syndrome, FOMO, your inner critic, goalpost-moving, and more. Does all this advice leave you wondering, 'Where do I even start?!'? Do you beat yourself up about not managing to implement it all, and how to fit implementing it around all those other wholesome things you're supposed to be doing like exercising and getting enough sleep? Don't worry, friend - you're 100% off the hook. Here's the low-down on how to embrace imperfectionism about looking after yourself.

Reference:
Duhigg, C. 2012: The Power of Habit (Random House).

Have you noticed how much time your inner critic spends looking over your shoulder and telling you how you're doing everything wrong? No, I bet you haven't - instead you're just completely mystified about why you've grown to dread your writing or your reading or your teaching or whatever else it is that you used to enjoy but now don't. It's not doing the thing that's the problem here. It's what you're telling yourself about how you're doing the thing. 

You know, in theory, that you have too much on your plate and that you really should stop taking on even more - but, seriously, have you seen how great this new opportunity is? It's a once in a lifetime thing! There's no way anyone could turn it down!

Friend, you need to end your FOMO before it ends you. The good news is that it's easy to do - you just need to reframe your choices a little. You need to think about not just what you'll miss out on if you don't take this opportunity, but also what you'll miss out on if you do.  Hit the download button and gather round.

Here's the core values exercise mentioned in the episode.