That Wasn't The Plan – Détails, épisodes et analyse

No guest. No agenda. No plan. Just Emily and Courtney showing up, catching each other up on their weeks, and somehow covering: shoplifting ethics, a stolen Power Ranger backpack, a suspicious kid at Target, toad venom, recovery, sitting with your feelings, and a stroller left alone in a parking lot that may or may not have had a baby in it.

This is one of those episodes that was never supposed to be anything — and ends up being kind of everything. Grab a coffee, put your earbuds in, and hang out with us for a bit.

"Life is not glossy and beautiful. It's fucking nasty. But it's also... real." — Emily White, 2025, exhausted as usual

📎 Reach out: Have a story, a question, or something you've been carrying? We read anonymous submissions. Email us: thatwasnttheplanpod@gmail.com or visit thatwasnttheplan.com.

💌 Reach us at thatwasnttheplanpod@gmail.com or visit us at thatwasnttheplan.com

📲 Find us on Instagram | TikTok | YouTube — search @thatwasnttheplanpodcast

🎧 If you like what we're doing, subscribe, leave a review, and share us with a friend. It genuinely helps more than you know.

That wasn't the plan, and we will talk to you next week. K bye. 🥂

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(Courtney's back, everyone. Let the drinks flow. Also — Courtney's tooth made a brief unscheduled disappearance. We kept it in. You're welcome.)

This week, Emily and Courtney sit down with someone doing some of the most quietly essential work in grief support: Lindsay Brockman, licensed veterinary nurse, certified pet loss grief specialist, and founder of EverKin Pet Loss Support out of Richmond, Virginia. Lindsay has fifteen years across ER, end-of-life, and community animal medicine — and she's seen firsthand what happens when the humans in those exam rooms are left to navigate loss with nothing but a sympathy card and a parking validation.

Her framework is built around disenfranchised grief — the grief the world doesn't quite know how to honor. The grief that gets "it was just a pet." Or "you'll get another one." Or the silence where a casserole should be. Lindsay's entire practice exists to say: no. All grief deserves support.

But Lindsay brings more than professional expertise to this conversation. Earlier this year, her son Jack was stillborn at 38 weeks. And in one of the most honest, tender moments we've had on this show, she talks about how both losses — the ones she holds for clients, and the one she carries herself — share the same language. The same weight. The same need to be witnessed.

What you'll hear in this one:

• What disenfranchised grief actually means — and why pet loss is one of its biggest, most overlooked forms
• What fifteen years in vet ER looks like from the inside — and why grief literacy training for veterinary teams matters so much
• Compassion fatigue: what it actually is (and why it's not the same as burnout), and the org Not One More Vet fighting to support vet professionals
• Courtney's story of losing Rooster during the pandemic — and arriving at a locked ER door at 2am, sobbing, saying "I'm coming"
• "We don't move on. We move with." — what honoring grief actually looks like
• What NOT to say to a grieving person — and what to say instead when you genuinely don't know what to say
• Curly Sue — Lindsay's new rescue from Richmond Animal League, who weighs almost exactly what Jack weighed, and only wants to be held
• Weighted Angels, a volunteer organization making weighted stuffed animals for parents who leave the hospital without their baby
• Lady Chunk's live cameo (the cat had opinions and made them known)
• Human names for animals: Alan, Susan, Patricia, Gary, Frank — we stand by all of it
• And the grocery store pasta sauce incident, which is one of the best grief stories we've ever heard on this show

Lindsay's tagline is a Ram Dass quote: "We are all just walking each other home." By the end of this episode, you'll understand exactly why.

📎 Find Lindsay & Resources Mentioned:

• 🌿 EverKin Pet Loss Support: EverkinPetLoss.com
• 📲 Instagram: @EverkinPetLoss
• 💙 Not One More Vet: nomv.org
• 🤍 Weighted Angels: https://www.weightedangels.com/

Lindsay's books reopen June 1st — if you or someone you love needs support, now's the time to reach out.

💌 Have a story about a plan that went sideways? We want to hear it. Reach out at thatwasnttheplanpod@gmail.com

📲 Find us on Instagram | TikTok | YouTube — search @thatwasnttheplan_podcast

🐾 If this episode moved you, please subscribe, leave a review, and pass it along to anyone who's ever loved an animal — or a person — and been told to just get over it.

And as always — whatever plan you had? We're glad you're here anyway. 🥂

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Los Angeles, as it turns out, is less a city and more a series of increasingly poor decisions strung together by sunshine.

This week, Courtney shares a perfectly normal collection of experiences: flagging down her own mugger, accepting a ride from a man who openly admits to past home invasions, being called a “loser” by a spiritual-looking stranger, and—naturally—being offered a glimpse of someone’s testicles before breakfast. 

There is crime. There is confusion. There is alarming optimism.

And against all odds, she survives all of it.

A masterclass in what not to do—and why it somehow makes for excellent storytelling.

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What happens when you grow up in a deeply religious household where sex is forbidden, masturbation is sinful, and heaven is apparently keeping score?

You wait.

This week we’re joined by our brilliant friend Sarah Beth Schooley Wood—champion swimmer, Antarctica bride, and (for a surprisingly long time) a very committed virgin.

We talk purity culture, religious guilt, awkward first times, late blooming, and the strange realization that maybe… sex isn’t actually a moral emergency.

There are penguins.
 There is back hair discourse.
 There are some truly questionable decisions involving condoms.

And somewhere in the middle of it all: honesty, laughter, and a reminder that everyone arrives at their own timeline.

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What begins as a chic business-class flight to Italy (because we’re grown now) quickly devolves into a transatlantic U-turn, a missing suitcase, an Amtrak sprint through Washington, D.C., a possibly intoxicated Uber driver declaring “Ma’am, I’m gonna get you there,” and approximately fourteen emotional breakdowns.

There are trains. There are planes. There is public weeping. There is emergency lingerie purchased at JFK.

And somehow—miraculously—there is also Italy.

This week, Emily recounts the 48-hour odyssey that proves three things:

1. You don’t need that much luggage.
2. Always keep the Xanax.
3. Lean into the chaos. It makes for better stories.

Buckle up. Or don’t. It won’t matter.

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At 22, Matt Holland dove into shallow water, broke his neck, and immediately knew something was very wrong. 

This episode has it all: lake house chaos, a midnight helicopter ride, ICU absurdity, fingers-in-the-butt medical exams, and erections. 

It’s funny. It’s uncomfortable. It’s very honest. And it’s about what happens when your body stops—but your will doesn’t.

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This week, Colleen Heiber joins us to discuss being left before the wedding… and almost leaving someone herself. Six weeks out. Invitations printed. Rose petals purchased. Dumpster involved.

We talk red flags, baby fever (and losing it), jam bands, online dating in your late 30s, youth-pastor energy, and the radical act of asking, “Are you sure?”

It’s funny. It’s brutal. It’s hopeful. It’s proof that sometimes the altar isn’t the ending — it’s the escape hatch.

Very much not the plan.

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What begins as a casual conversation about hair drifts, quite naturally, into fake fangs, missing teeth, addiction, dentures, dental debt, sobriety, and one impressively pragmatic trip to Mexico shortly after losing all top teeth. It’s painful, absurd, and unexpectedly funny—a story about shame, survival, and rebuilding a smile without the benefit of enamel. Dental insurance, as ever, is the real villain. Teeth optional.

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Bed bugs: not a moral failing, not a cleanliness issue, and definitely not part of the plan. This week, we’re joined by Dr. Dini Miller—Virginia Tech professor, urban entomology legend, and all-around badass—to talk what bed bugs actually are, how people really get them, why panic makes everything worse, and what actually works. Equal parts horrifying, hilarious, and strangely comforting. Lint rollers encouraged.

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Just because children never blessed our loins doesn't mean we don't kinda like them. Well, we do, and we don't. 

Babies, motherhood, and the quiet panic of doing life “wrong.” In Not My Circus, Emily and Courtney talk being child-free by choice, by chance, and by biology—with honesty, dark humor, rockin’ nipples, and zero judgment. A conversation about listening to your own small voice, loving the life you actually have, and accepting that not everyone is meant to run the same circus.

Show Notes:
In this episode of 'That Wasn't the Plan,' hosts Emily White and Courtney Holland explore the complexities of motherhood, personal choices, and the unexpected turns life takes. They reflect on their childhood experiences, discuss the societal pressures surrounding motherhood, and share their thoughts on love and relationships. The conversation delves into the joys and challenges of blending families and the importance of personal growth in navigating these dynamics. With humor and honesty, they address the realities of parenting and the diverse paths women take in their lives. In this conversation, Courtney and Emily explore the complexities of love, heartbreak, and the dynamics of family relationships. They discuss the joys and challenges of being involved with children, societal expectations surrounding parenthood, and the unique struggles faced by single parents. The conversation also delves into the importance of self-acceptance and personal growth, as well as the impact of teachers on children's lives. Ultimately, they emphasize the significance of listening to one's heart and making choices that align with personal values.

Takeaways

Courtney never felt a strong desire for children, filling her life with wild experiences instead.

Emily has no maternal instinct and never felt the urge to have children.

Both hosts acknowledge the societal pressure to become mothers and the guilt that can accompany it.

They discuss the concept of true love and how it can exist outside of traditional motherhood.

Courtney reflects on her nurturing nature towards animals and people, despite not having children.

Emily emphasizes the importance of personal choice in motherhood and the acceptance of different paths.

They share humorous anecdotes about their childhood play and how it shaped their views on parenting.

The conversation highlights the challenges of blending families and the adjustments required.

Both hosts express gratitude for their current lives without children, valuing their freedom and independence.

They conclude with reflections on the importance of being true to oneself in the face of societal expectations.  Courtney experienced heartbreak when she fell in love with a partner's children.

Emily shares her joy in seeing a partner's relationship with his kids.

Societal expectations often pressure women regarding motherhood.

Single parents face immense challenges and deserve recognition.

Teachers play a crucial role in shaping young minds despite the challenges they face.

Self-acceptance is a journey that enhances personal growth.

Listening to one's heart is essential in making life choices.

The conversation highlights the importance of being true to oneself.

Parenting is a significant responsibility that should be carefully considered.

Both speakers emphasize the joy and challenges of family dynamics. 

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