THAT sex ed podcast – Détails, épisodes et analyse

It's the 2023 recap, with a cameo appearance from Justine dog Ollie (there was a thunderstorm approaching, listen to the end to hear his sign off!)

In this episode we talk about the podcast, this year's season, the guests we've had on and our top 5 episodes for the year.

We get into answering tricky questions, because that's what a lot of parents will be doing over the summer here in Australia, where there might be more time to check in with kids, and time too to have that conversation you've been putting off.

And we finish with going through some real anonymous questions that have come through the Q box during the year, with emerging themes of: children not being able to talk to their parents about getting their period for the first time, and teenagers struggling with how to slow down the sexual aspects of a relationship, how to communicate about boundaries and also, one interesting question: is it normal to not want to kiss your partner?

Listen for our tips and Justine's fantastic idea which would be very helpful for children/parents who struggle to talk face to face. Bottom line: this doesn't mean the conversation doesn't -- or shouldn't -- happen!

We want to wish everyone a happy and safe holiday season!

In this episode, Justine and Jenny talk feelings. We all have them, and sometimes they can be a challenge. Even as parents and caregivers, we still have our feelings while trying to help support our children. We discuss why it's important to teach and talk about emotions, because as adults we need to be able to manage/self-regulate and express emotions appropriately, and we want to raise children into humans who are ok to be around. We chat strategies and structures and why those big emotional displays can sometimes be an indication that something is not quite right.
 
 Mentioned in this episode:

·      Concept of ‘taught not caught’

·      Strategies and structures

·      Tiredness can be a big factor in meltdowns

·      Hunger less so, but can be relevant

·      Sometimes big emotional displays are a sign a parent needs to probe a bit more, be curious about where it’s coming from

·      Mood swings

·      The idea of a world made for extroverts, and how introverts manage

·      Importance of parents being curious and not interrogating

·      Encouraging children to come up with self soothing strategies (that are healthy and sustainable)

·      Importance of being aware of other people’s emotions, especially important for developing empathy and learning about respect

·      Reading books – with young children, looking at the character illustrations and pointing out facial expressions

·      Empathy and the connection to fiction – imagining how things are for others

·      Anger and society/cultural attitudes; gender differences between expression of anger (girls/boys)

·      How can we teach our children to manage their anger in healthy ways

·      The importance of apology – techniques of apologising and accepting apologies. Parents need to model how to apologise

Correction: difference between feelings and emotions. Many people use interchangeably but there is a technical difference

Resources and other things we mention in this episode:

Before Your Teenagers Drive You Crazy, Read This!: Battlefield Wisdom for Stressed-Out Parents, by Australian author Nigel Latta

Lena Dunham podcast – The C Word (not educational, more a contemporary cultural look at women and how they’ve been labelled mad and bad, or ‘crazy’)

Please visit our website sexeducationaustralia.com.au where you can listen to our other episodes and also browse our pages for more resources, information and support.  General primary resources are listed here: https://sexeducationaustralia.com.au/resources-2/resources-for-parents/ and secondary resources here: https://sexeducationaustralia.com.au/resources-2/secondary-resources/

Send us questions or comments to THATsexedpodcast@gmail.com 

Our last episode for 2022, so we look back at how the year has gone.

Topics we cover:

• what parents can think about over the break - maybe have that convo you've been putting off
• focus and attention (and the importance of both)
• the idea of getting kids reading over the summer
• more on managing screens - why not consider a 'Summer Screen Contract' for your family?
• most recent screen research - it's not good news (links below)
• what the 'hot topics' this year have been (spoiler: most gender identity)
• the importance of family's using proper names for private parts, and where there's been a shift on our part regarding this

Links:

• The Younger Sun bookshop
• Common Sense Media
• eSafety Commissioner
• Family Zone
• Research showing children with more than one hour a day online are vulnerable in all five developmental areas

Please visit our website sexeducationaustralia.com.au where you can listen to our other episodes and also browse our pages for more resources, information and support.  Primary resources are listed here: https://sexeducationaustralia.com.au/resources-2/resources-for-parents/ and secondary resources here: https://sexeducationaustralia.com.au/resources-2/secondary-resources/

Send us questions or comments to THATsexedpodcast@gmail.com
 
Thanks for listening, and all the best for a safe and happy summer period. See you in 2024!
 
Jenny + Justine

In this special episode, Justine interviews teacher and mentor Linda Stade about a topic that is super relevant to parents and children of all ages: friendships. Some of the topics covered are: parent engagement; how to skilfully help your child manage their friendships; are girls' friendships more complex and volatile than boys'?; girls and anxiety; the 'friendship cyclone' (a term created by Rebecca Sparrow); 'relational aggression'; advice to parents on when to step in and when to step back; parent as 'coach'; development and importance of empathy; how the pandemic has affected friendships and social development; online friendships during the pandemic; the importance of boredom, and what a 'friend' means.

Important links:

• Linda Stade, expert on friendship
• 'You know empathy is important but how can you teach it?' (Linda Stade)
• 'The weapon we need in the war on bullying' (Linda Stade)
• Kids Helpline (bullying page)

Check Linda's website above and find her on Facebook at Linda Stade - Education Writer

Please visit our website sexeducationaustralia.com.au where you can listen to our other episodes and also browse our pages for more resources, information and support.  Primary resources are listed here: https://sexeducationaustralia.com.au/resources-2/resources-for-parents/ and secondary resources here: https://sexeducationaustralia.com.au/resources-2/secondary-resources/

Send us questions or comments to THATsexedpodcast@gmail.com
 
Thanks for listening!
 
Jenny + Justine

This is an episode for parents and caregivers who are: worried their kids might see porn / their kids HAVE seen porn and they don't know what to do. We'd also love to hear from anyone who has dealt with this tricky subject with success (email us thatsexedpodcast@gmail.com).

In this episode, Justine and Jenny talk about how confronting it is when you learn your child has seen sexual material online.  Topics covered: gaming and grooming; what we've dealt with as parents ourselves; what parents should think about *before* they give their kids a mobile phone; parental controls and filters (see helpful resources listed below); invasion of our kids' privacy versus keeping them safe; the value of talking to other parents -- especially those with older children. They've been through it and have great advice. More topics: TikTok and online sexual exploitation of young people; the power of 'likes' and 'follows'; Heartstopper, a TV show that Justine really likes; the idea of phone contracts; talking with other parents before sleepovers and playdates (are we more worried about offending another adult or protecting our children?); how to talk about porn with even very young children.

Resources we think are good:
eSafety Commissioner (website)
Common Sense Media (website where you can learn about film, TV, games and apps)
Culture Reframed (website pushing back against sexualisation of young people)
Officer Gomez on Facebook (US-based, works in schools and is quite 'zero tolerance' with tech, which may not always be practical however is great for trends, what the latest apps are and how kids use technology -- and some of the tricks they learn)
Family Zone (website, Australian, has filter products and a help service/desk where parents can contact to get help with setting up)
You Know Sex - Cory Silverberg (book, which includes conversation starters)

Please visit our website sexeducationaustralia.com.au where you can listen to our other episodes and also browse our pages for more resources, information and support.  Primary resources are listed here  and secondary resources here

Send us questions or comments to THATsexedpodcast@gmail.com
 
Thanks for listening!
 
Jenny + Justine

This is probably an episode for parents/caregivers of teenagers, but some families will be having conversations about virginity with their upper primary school children. 

In this episode, Justine and Jenny look at the outdated notion of 'virginity' and how we can better talk about this concept in a way that is less hetero-centric, more inclusive (what about people who have no interest in sex, and might identify as asexual?) and with less focus on a single sexual act being perceived as something really important. Some of the questions that come up are: what do we think about the term 'sexual debut'; how important is the concept of virginity anyway; why the typical representation in popular culture and mainstream media etc.

Please visit our website sexeducationaustralia.com.au where you can listen to our other episodes and also browse our pages for more resources, information and support.  Primary resources are listed here: https://sexeducationaustralia.com.au/resources-2/resources-for-parents/ and secondary resources here: https://sexeducationaustralia.com.au/resources-2/secondary-resources/

Send us questions or comments to THATsexedpodcast@gmail.com
 
Thanks for listening!
 
Jenny + Justine

Justine and Jenny look at friendships. As Justine says in the episode: As a parent, as a human, we've got to really think about things because friendships can be awesome, amazing and make your heart sing... but they can also be devastating and 'leave little scars in our lives'. It's a complex world for sure, and not something we work out necessarily before the age of 18! Justine reports too that things get particularly gnarly around 8 or 9, when the feelings around friendships become particularly overt.

It's important to talk about friendships with your child. What they mean, how they should feel, and how to manage things when perhaps your child doesn't want to play with another child -- or be friends; or if your child is feeling excluded. And buckle up, because Jenny gets pretty strident about how she sees the role of parents, in supporting their children navigate the tides, depths, shallows and waves of not just friendships, but growing up.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Dana Kerford of URSTRONG
• Linda Stade, expert on friendship
• bullying
• power dynamics
• the idea of being 'mean on purpose' (rather than using the term bullying)
• the difference between parents and teachers educating children about friendships, rather than getting too involved and trying to fix things for the kids

Please visit our website sexeducationaustralia.com.au where you can listen to our other episodes and also browse our pages for more resources, information and support.  Primary resources are listed here: https://sexeducationaustralia.com.au/resources-2/resources-for-parents/ and secondary resources here: https://sexeducationaustralia.com.au/resources-2/secondary-resources/

Send us questions or comments to THATsexedpodcast@gmail.com
 
Thanks for listening!
 
Jenny + Justine

In this episode, Justine and Jenny talk about how to get into this potentially awkward topic with your teenager. Yes, it will likely be uncomfortable for all concerned -- even the most seasoned and open of us sex education people can find this difficult.

Some of the things touched on:

Why we put it off / asking them questions about their peer group / how to get started / the importance of cross-gender chats, so fathers talking to daughters, and mothers to sons (if that's your family set-up) / why saying nothing is meaningful (and not necessarily in a good way).

Initiating a chat, either deliberately or organically, is always the best way to show your child you are up to talk about anything they may be wondering or worried about. It also means you aren't leaving them alone with things that they may need support with.

Please visit our website sexeducationaustralia.com.au where you can listen to our other episodes and also browse our pages for resources, information and support.  (Secondary resources are listed here: https://sexeducationaustralia.com.au/resources-2/secondary-resources/)
 
Thanks for listening!
 
Jenny + Justine

Justine and Jenny chat all things puberty. Do you need to have a chat with your young person about puberty? Are they asking lots of questions and you don't quite feel equipped or confident to answer them? We talk We our memories of puberty, we look at some anonymous questions from Year 5-6 students, acknowledge the importance of empathy and also the importance of parents being the 'go-to person' for their child. Other topics covered: periods, wet dreams, vaginal discharge Also: see our earlier episode on Periods as well!

Initiating a chat, either deliberately or organically, is always the best way to show your child you are up to talk about anything they may be wondering or worried about.

Please visit our website sexeducationaustralia.com.au where you can listen to our other episodes and also browse our pages for resources, information and support.  (Primary resources are listed here: https://sexeducationaustralia.com.au/resources-2/resources-for-parents/)
 
Thanks for listening!
 
Jenny + Justine
 

In this episode, Jenny speaks with Ingrid Laguna, renowned children's writer, and co-author of new book Kit and Arlo Find a Way: Teaching consent to 8-12 year olds. There'd be a lot of parents who would think 'What? Teaching consent to my 8 year old? What are you talking about!' But the thing is, in this book, all the scenarios are age-appropriate and relevant to the lives of children of exactly this age. There are no sexual contexts included, but what is included are situations commonly experienced by primary-aged children, and it's these very situations that children can use to learn about consent, body boundaries, the importance of empathy and respect, mutual responsibility, and how to stand up for oneself. Basically it's about helping children learn how to navigate some of the tricky challenges that can come up for them at this age, such as not wanting to watch a scary film when their friends do. The book is inclusive and represents the diversity our young people are immersed in, and not only is educational but a great story with wonderful characters that kids will love and care about.

Listen in and hear Jenny and Ingrid chat about the book, and about why it's important that children are taught consent from a young age.

You can read more about Ingrid Laguna here, at her website:
Ingrid Laguna's website

Ingrid wrote the book with Vanessa Hamilton, the name and face of Talking the Talk. Vanessa is a sexuality and consent educator of many years' experience, and her website is well worth checking out, with loads of resources, school and parent services, and online courses - all evidence-based, up to date and delivered in a warm, accessible and direct manner:
Vanessa Hamilton's website

(We're hoping to have Vanessa on as a guest down the track a bit!)

You can buy Kit and Arlo Find a Way at the links below, and elsewhere:

Booktopia
Angus and Robertson online
Dymocks

And if you're a school, the publisher's website has class set discounts, you can find out more about those here, at ACER Press.

Vanessa Hamilton has a comprehensive platform of resources on her website, which you can look at in conjunction with reading the book with your young person. The back of the book also has a chapter-by-chapter list of consent topics covered, with discussion points and prompts to make sure that you're guided and supported as you read.

Kit and Arlo Find a Way: Teaching consent to 8-12 years old, free resources
 
Thanks for listening and we'd love to hear from any parents/caregivers or teachers about the topic of consent and how to talk about it with young children. You can email us at THATsexedpodcast@gmail.com