Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast Successful On Paper

Online fitness coach Adam Richardson joins me for an open and honest conversation about work, mental health, finding purpose and why we spend so much time thinking about making changes rather than actually doing something about them.

Adam spent nearly eight years working in charity fundraising, climbing the career ladder and attempting to quit seven times. Eventually, after struggling with his mental health, he left to become a personal trainer.

His first year was exhausting and he earned just £12,000 - but he'd never been happier.

We talk about:

• How easy it is to climb the wrong career ladder without realising.
• Why being vulnerable and asking for help aren't necessarily the same thing.
• The impact of work on our mental health and relationships.
• Why taking action builds confidence more than overthinking ever will.
• Finding purpose and working out what success looks like for you.
• Why it's never too late to start again.
• A simple exercise to help you imagine your perfect ordinary day.

Adam is refreshingly honest about his struggles, the things he's learned and what he's still figuring out.

As he says, "20 minutes of doing is worth more than 20 hours of thinking".

Where to find Adam:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aadamrichardson

Where to find Jess:

Website: https://www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jess-spiers-19760717/

If you've spent most of your career in the same industry or type of role, it's easy to assume your experience is too niche to do anything else.

But you've built up far more transferable skills than you realise. The trouble is, you've been using some of them for so long that you barely notice them anymore.

In this episode, I talk about how to look beyond your job title and recognise what you're actually good at.

I cover:

• Why your job title doesn't tell the whole story about what you can do.
• How to spot the strengths you take for granted but other people value.
• Five questions to help you identify your transferable skills.
• How to look at your experience differently and see where else your skills could be useful.
• Why being good at something doesn't mean you have to keep doing it.

If you're wondering what else you could do after 20 or 30 years in one career, this episode will help you start seeing your experience - and your options - differently.

Want some help working out what comes next?

Find out more about my coaching programme: https://www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk/work-with-me

Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jess-spiers-19760717

If you’ve been telling yourself “I should stick it out until I retire” while quietly wondering “Can I really do another 10 or 15 years of this?”, this one’s for you.

If you’re in your 40s or 50s, earning good money and you’ve spent decades building your career, the idea of changing direction can feel exhausting and risky.

So maybe you should just stick it out until retirement?

The trouble is, 10 or 15 years is still a big chunk of your life. And staying in a job you hate has a cost - to your energy, confidence, relationships and how present you are outside work.

But there’s another side to this.

Staying where you are might actually be the right decision. And there’s a big difference between choosing to stay and feeling like you have no choice.

In this episode, I talk about:

• What your job is giving you and what it’s costing you.
• Why another 10 years at work is still a significant stretch of time.
• The difference between staying deliberately and simply enduring.
• How staying where you are doesn't have to mean changing nothing.
• The question: “If I knew I had options, would I still choose this one?”

I also explain how I work with clients through a 3-step programme, Clarity, Confidence and Action, to help them make a career decision they trust and build a practical plan for what happens next.

Find out more about my coaching programme here: www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk/work-with-me

Connect with me on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jess-spiers-19760717

What if reaching midlife and thinking “something isn’t right here” isn’t a crisis at all?

What if it’s a sign that the way you’ve lived and worked for the first half of your life isn’t what you need for the second?

In this episode, I talk to author and social entrepreneur Trevor Waldock about what he believes can be an extraordinary shift in the second half of life - if we have the courage to face into it.

For years, many of us are focused on building: a career, a reputation, financial security, expertise, a family, a life. We get good at achieving, doing and proving ourselves.

But Trevor believes there can come a point when those things stop being enough. We get what he calls a tap on the shoulder: something that stops us in our tracks and demands our attention. We shouldn’t dismiss this calling because it's an invitation to start our real life's work.

Trevor shares his own experience of this transition, when he reached a point where he couldn't carry on as he had been.

He talks about how this links in with eldership, why it's so beneficial to get elder, not just older, and how elders can help us navigate our midlife shift.

We also talk about thresholds: the transitions we all go through where we're no longer the person we were but we don't yet know exactly who we're becoming.

For people used to achieving, fixing and knowing what comes next, sitting in that uncertainty can be incredibly uncomfortable. But Trevor believes there’s important work to be done there rather than rushing straight through it.

This is a rich conversation about success, identity, ageing, purpose and what we want to do with the years we have left.

Where to find Trevor:

Website: https://www.trevorwaldock.net/

Trevor's books: https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/Trevor-Waldock/author/B001KDCF8G?ref_=dbs_p_ebk_r00_abau_000000&shoppingPortalEnabled=true

Connect with Jess:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jess-spiers-19760717/

Website: https://www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk/

If there’s something about your career you’ve been circling around for longer than you’d like, this is the episode for you.

It could be a job you’re not sure whether to apply for. A conversation with your manager you keep avoiding. A promotion you’re not convinced you want. An idea about going freelance or consulting. Or perhaps the bigger question of whether you want to stay where you are at all.

You haven’t made a decision but you haven’t stopped thinking about it either.

In this episode, I explore why we can get stuck waiting for certainty that may never come and how making the decision smaller can help you move forward.

I cover:

• Why not making a decision isn’t as neutral as you might think.
• What you might really be waiting for before you decide.
• How to turn a huge career question into a much smaller next step.
• Why you don’t need to know where everything ends before you move forward.
• The difference between staying because you’re stuck and actively deciding to stay.
• Why another three months of thinking probably won’t help if you’re not gathering any new information.

I also share two questions to think about:

What career decision is taking up more space in your head than it deserves?

And:

What are you actually waiting for before you make it?

This is also exactly why I created my new Get Unstuck session.

It’s one focused hour for the career decision, problem or question that’s been going round and round in your head. I’ll ask the questions other people won’t, challenge your thinking and help you work out what needs to happen next.

You might leave having made the decision. Or you might leave knowing exactly what information you need before you can make it.

Either way, you’re moving forward rather than going round in circles.

Book a Get Unstuck session here: https://tidycal.com/3o42vom/get-unstuck-1hr-session

Connect with Jess:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jess-spiers-19760717

Website: https://www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk

When you’re unhappy at work, it can feel like getting unstuck is going to take months.

But an hour can be enough to change everything.

In this episode, I look at what can actually happen in one focused coaching session: making a decision you’ve been putting off, creating a much-needed plan, shifting your perspective or simply working out what you need to do next.

I share my own recent experience of going into a coaching session with lots of looping thoughts and coming out an hour later with a tangible plan through to the end of the year.

I also share three real examples from my coaching: a client deciding whether to accept a new job, a senior leader finding the time for something he’d thought was impossible and a client completely changing the way he saw himself as a leader.

I explore:

• What you can realistically achieve in one hour.
• How getting your thoughts out of your head can change everything.
• Three examples of what clients have achieved in a single session.

I’ve also just launched a new Get Unstuck session: a powerful one-hour coaching session for when you’ve got one particular career problem or decision going round and round in your head.

Bring me the thing you can't stop thinking about and we'll spend an hour pulling it apart.

I'll listen, challenge your thinking, help you see what you might be missing and you’ll leave knowing exactly what to do next.

Book your Get Unstuck session here: https://tidycal.com/3o42vom/get-unstuck-1hr-session

And if you know someone who might be interested, please share the link with them.

Connect with Jess:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jess-spiers-19760717/

Website: https://www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk/

What happens when you’ve built a successful corporate career, reached senior leadership and you realise you don’t actually want the next promotion?

In this episode, I’m joined by Jimmy Barber, who left the corporate world in his early 50s after a career that took him all the way to COO and Board level.

We talk about why it’s so easy to keep following the career path in front of you without stopping to ask whether you actually want where it’s taking you.

Jimmy shares his experience of turning down opportunities that looked great on paper, the promotion that made him less happy and worse at his job and what leaving corporate life taught him about how much of our identity can become wrapped up in our job title.

We also have a really honest conversation about the less visible side of senior leadership - including a period of intense pressure when Jimmy appeared completely in control to everyone around him while privately struggling to cope.

We cover:

• Why automatically chasing the next promotion isn't always progress.
• The difference between being busy and doing work that actually matters.
• How much identity and status can become tied to your job.
• Why comparison at work can make you miserable.
• The downside of being fiercely independent and finding it difficult to ask for help.
• Why your definition of success might need to change as you do.
• The value of making intentional career choices, even if the choice is to stay exactly where you are.

Jimmy's biggest message is a simple one: make time to think about what actually matters to you and be intentional about the choices you make.

You don't necessarily need to change everything. But there's a big difference between staying somewhere because you've chosen it and staying because you've never stopped to consider the alternative.

How to find Jimmy:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimmybarber/

A Job Done Well podcast: https://ajobdonewell.com/category/podcast/

Connect with Jess:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jess-spiers-19760717/

Website: https://www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk/

When something isn't right at work, it's easy to focus on the obvious solution: find a new job.

But if you haven't worked out what's really making you unhappy, there's a risk you take the same problems with you.

Different job. Same feeling.

In this episode, I talk about why it's worth fixing the foundations of your career before automatically reaching for the shiny new job.

Those foundations are the things that aren't necessarily visible from the outside: the Sunday night dread, feeling exhausted and numb, work constantly occupying your head, or that nagging feeling that there must be more to life than this.

I know what that feels like because I've been there myself. I know first-hand how life-changing this work is.

In this episode, I talk about:

• Why changing jobs can feel like the obvious answer when work isn't making you happy.
• How easy it is to recreate the same problems in a completely different role.
• What I mean by your career foundations and why they matter.
• Why you need to understand who you are now, rather than who you were when you chose your career 20 odd years ago.
• How to think about what you actually want to feel different about work.
• Why doing the work underneath gives you new information – and helps the decisions about what comes next flow much more naturally.

You might do this work and still decide you need a new job. You might become more certain than ever that it's time to leave.

Or you might discover that the changes you need are about boundaries, responsibilities, where and when you work, or how much of yourself you give to your job.

Either way, you're no longer guessing.

If you're ready to do this work, please do book a free 30-minute discovery call with me.

It's a relaxed conversation to get to know each other, talk about what's happening for you and see whether I can help.

Book your free discovery call: https://tidycal.com/3o42vom/30-minute-meeting

Try my free Career Audit for men in their 40s & 50s: get clear on where you are now, where you want to be and the non-negotiables for your next chapter: https://www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk/

Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jess-spiers-19760717/

If you know a man who might need to hear this episode, please share it with him. And don't forget to follow or subscribe to Successful On Paper so you never miss an episode.

This week I'm talking about kindness – but not kindness towards other people. Kindness towards yourself.

Most of the men I coach are good at being there for everyone else. They're supportive partners, good friends and reliable colleagues.

But they often hold themselves to a completely different standard.

They expect themselves to cope, keep striving, have the answers and get things right. And when they don't, they can be incredibly hard on themselves.

In this episode, I talk about self-compassion and why it isn't the same as letting yourself off the hook.

You can be ambitious, driven and want more from your life while still treating yourself with a bit more kindness along the way.

In this episode, I talk about:

• Why we often speak to ourselves in ways we'd never speak to someone we care about.
• How self-compassion doesn't mean lowering your standards or making excuses.
• The particular pressures that can build up for men in their 40s and 50s.
• Why this stage of life might be exactly when you need to give yourself a break.
• Some simple questions to help you notice where you're being too hard on yourself.
• Why giving yourself permission to explore a happier, more fulfilling career can be an act of self-compassion too.

Wanting a career that fits you better doesn't make you greedy or ungrateful.

Sometimes one of the kindest things you can do for yourself is admit that something isn't working and give yourself permission to explore what could.

Want to talk it through?

If you'd like some space to think about what's going on for you and what you might need to change, you can book a free 30-minute discovery call with me.

It's a relaxed conversation to get to know each other, talk about what's happening for you and see whether I can help.

Book your free discovery call: https://tidycal.com/3o42vom/30-minute-meeting

Visit my website: https://www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk/

Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jess-spiers-19760717/

If you know a man who might need to hear this episode, please share it with him. And don't forget to follow or subscribe to Successful On Paper so you never miss an episode.

Welcome to the fourth episode in my summer mini-series - short episodes each focusing on one thing you need to hear this week that no-one else will say to you.

This week, it’s all about success and whether the definition of success you've been chasing for years actually still fits you.

It's easy to measure success by the obvious things: promotions, salary, the house, the car, how far you've climbed.

There's nothing wrong with any of those things. But the problem is that while you've changed, your definition of success might not have.

What mattered to you in your 20s and 30s might look very different now you're in your 40s or 50s.

Success now might mean having more time with your family. More energy. Looking after your health. Doing work that feels meaningful. Or something completely different.

The important thing is that it's your definition, not somebody else's.

In this episode, I talk about:

• Why we can spend decades pursuing success without ever defining what it means to us.
• How an outdated definition of success can leave you constantly striving but never feeling satisfied.
• Why your priorities, values and relationship with work change as you get older.
• My own tendency to measure success by clients and income – and what I've realised matters just as much.
• The questions you can ask yourself today to redefine success for the person you are now.

Want to explore what success looks like for you now?

I offer a free 30-minute discovery call where we can talk about what's going on for you, what you'd like to change and whether coaching could help.

Book your free discovery call: https://tidycal.com/3o42vom/30-minute-meeting

Visit my website: https://www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk/

Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jess-spiers-19760717/

If you know a man who might need to hear this episode, please share it with him. And don't forget to follow or subscribe to Successful On Paper so you never miss an episode.

This week's message is simple: confidence isn't something you either have or don't have.

If you've ever told yourself you're not confident enough for a promotion, a new role or a career change, listen on.

This is the third episode in my summer mini-series: one thing you need to hear each week that no-one else will say to you.

I explore how confidence shows up in different ways, why many men underestimate what they're already capable of and how recognising your transferable skills can completely change the way you see yourself.

In this episode, you'll hear:

• Why confidence comes in many different forms.
• How you can be confident in one area of your life but doubt yourself in another.
• Why focusing on what you don't have keeps you feeling stuck.
• The power of recognising your transferable skills and experience.
• Four questions to help you see your own confidence more clearly.

If you'd like help finding that confidence that does already exist inside you, book a free 30-minute discovery call with me.

We'll talk about where you are now, where you’d like to be and how I can help you recognise the strengths and confidence you already have.

Book your call here: https://tidycal.com/3o42vom/30-minute-meeting

Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jess-spiers-19760717/

If you know someone who would benefit from this episode, please share it with them. And if you're enjoying Successful On Paper, don't forget to follow or subscribe so you never miss an episode.

Welcome to the second episode in my summer mini-series: short, practical episodes, each focusing on one thing that might shift the way you think about your career, your life or yourself - that no-one else will say to you.

This week's message is simple: clarity doesn't come before action - it comes from it.

If you've been waiting to feel completely certain before making a career decision, this episode is for you.

I explore why so many men feel stuck, why overthinking rarely leads to clarity and how understanding who you are now - not who you were 10 or 20 years ago - can make your next career move much easier.

• Why clarity isn't something you find by thinking harder.
• How taking action helps you discover what you really want.
• Why your priorities and values may have changed over the years.
• The questions that can help you cut through the fog.
• Why meaningful career decisions start with understanding yourself, not searching for the perfect answer.

If this episode resonated with you, download my free Career Audit. It will help you understand where you are now, where you'd like to be and what's most important to you in the next stage of your career.

Once you've completed it, I'll send you a personalised video review with practical next steps tailored to you.

Get your free Career Audit here: https://www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk

Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jess-spiers-19760717/

If you know someone who would benefit from this episode, please share it with them.

And if you're enjoying Successful On Paper, don't forget to follow or subscribe so you never miss an episode.

Welcome to the first episode in my summer mini-series: “One thing you need to hear this week”.

These are short, practical episodes, each focusing on one thing you might need to hear this week that no-one else will say to you.

This first episode is all about hope.

If you dread every Monday morning and wonder if this is really it, this episode is for you.

I talk about why it's OK to want more from your working life, how feeling trapped doesn't mean you have to make a dramatic career change and how the first step is simply giving yourself permission to stop and reassess.

Trust me: this isn't as good as it gets.

In this episode, I talk about:

• How there are always other options, even if you can't see them yet.
• Why meaningful career change rarely means starting from scratch.
• The difference between making a risky leap and making a considered plan.
• Why settling for survival isn't the answer.
• Why investing in yourself is one of the best decisions you can make.
• How clarity often comes much sooner than people expect.

If this episode resonated with you and you'd like to explore what coaching could look like, book a free 30-minute discovery call. We'll talk about where you are, where you'd like to be and see if we're the right fit to work together.

Book your discovery call: https://tidycal.com/3o42vom/30-minute-meeting

If you know someone who'd benefit from hearing this episode, please share it with them. And if you're enjoying the podcast, I'd really appreciate it if you followed or subscribed so you don't miss future episodes.

Visit my website: https://www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk/

Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jess-spiers-19760717/

Men usually come to coaching thinking they have a career problem. But often it's about more than just their job: it's about their whole identity.

In this episode, I explore why work can start to feel different in your 40s and 50s, even when everything looks great from the outside.

I discuss the emotions many men experience but rarely talk about, including guilt, fear, doubt and confusion and why questions about career satisfaction are often really questions about who you've become.

I also share the story of a coaching client who felt stuck and disconnected from a career that had once given him purpose and pride. Together, we explored what had changed and discovered that the answer wasn't necessarily a new career but a different relationship with the one he already had.

I also explore other things that affect your sense of identity: fatherhood, changing priorities, breadwinner pressure and why the version of success that drove you in your 20s and 30s may no longer fit the man you are today.

• Why career dissatisfaction is often about identity rather than work itself.
• The emotions many men experience during midlife but rarely discuss.
• Why status, progression and salary can lose their appeal.
• How fatherhood can change your relationship with work.
• The pressure many men still feel to be the main provider.
• Why clarity is often the missing piece.
• How you can redesign your career without changing careers.
• A simple question that reveals how much of your identity is tied to your job.

Useful links

Book a free 30-minute discovery call to see if we'd be a good fit to work together: https://tidycal.com/3o42vom/30-minute-meeting

Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jess-spiers-19760717/

Visit my website: https://www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk/

If you'd like help getting clear on what's next, my free Career Audit helps you understand where you are now, where you want to be and the non-negotiables for your next chapter.

Complete the audit and I’ll send you a short personalised video review with practical next steps to take.

Get your free Career Audit here: www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk

If you enjoyed this episode, please follow or subscribe and share it with a man who might need to hear it.

Many men spend years working towards the next milestone. The next promotion, the next salary bracket, the next achievement.

But what happens when you reach those goals and still don't feel the way you expected?

In this episode I speak with Chris Britton, People Experience Director, volunteer police officer, author, father and men's health advocate. We explore the pressure many men feel to keep striving, the difficulty of knowing what "enough" looks like and why success doesn't always bring the fulfilment we expect.

Chris shares his own experience of constantly chasing the next milestone, the restlessness that can come with ambition and how becoming a father has changed the way he thinks about success, purpose and legacy.

The conversation also explores men's mental health, loneliness, identity, modern masculinity and why creating spaces where men can talk openly is more important than ever.

• Why many men keep chasing success without ever defining what success actually means to them.
• The feeling of restlessness that can sit beneath a successful career.
• How ambition can become both a strength and a source of pressure.
• The challenge of balancing work, family and personal fulfilment.
• Why men often tie their identity to performance and achievement.
• Men's reluctance to seek support before reaching crisis point.
• Loneliness and connection for men in their 40s and 50s.
• The importance of creating spaces where men can speak honestly.
• Why "I'm fine" is often the end of a conversation when it should be the beginning.
• The simple but powerful idea that you are enough.

Useful links

Connect with Chris:

Website: www.chris-britton.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-britton

Book: https://amzn.eu/d/0fw9uMvL

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hu_man_up

Connect with Jess:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jess-spiers-19760717/

Visit my website: https://www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk/

If you'd like help getting clear on what's next, my free Career Audit helps you understand where you are now, where you want to be and the non-negotiables for your next chapter.

Complete the audit and I’ll send you a short personalised video review with practical next steps to take.

Get your free Career Audit here: www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk

Book a free 30-minute discovery call to see if we'd be a good fit to work together: https://tidycal.com/3o42vom/30-minute-meeting

If you enjoyed this episode, please follow or subscribe and share it with a man who might need to hear it.

One of the biggest assumptions men make when they're unhappy at work is that they need a completely different career.

When you're feeling stuck, disconnected or frustrated, it's easy to jump to a dramatic conclusion: I need a fresh start.

But what if the answer isn't a career change?

In this episode, I explore the difference between a career change and a career refresh and why many men in their 40s & 50s discover that what they really need isn't to leave their career behind - but to rethink how they're doing it.

Drawing on a client story, I share how years of gradually taking on more responsibility, becoming the dependable one and reacting to everyone else's priorities can leave you feeling disconnected from work that once felt rewarding.

You'll hear why careers often drift away from what matters most, how roles evolve without us noticing and why feeling stuck doesn't automatically mean it's time to start over.

Before you assume you need a completely different career, it's worth asking whether you've simply outgrown the way you're currently working.

Sometimes the biggest shift isn't changing your career. It's changing your relationship with it.

• Why career change isn't always the answer.
• The difference between a career change and a career refresh.
• How responsibilities can quietly accumulate over time.
• Why many men feel disconnected from work in their 40s & 50s.
• The three common outcomes I see through coaching.
• The difference between staying by choice and staying because you feel trapped.
• A simple diary audit exercise to help you identify what's draining your energy.

Useful links:

If you'd like help getting clear on what's next, my free Career Audit helps you understand where you are now, where you want to be and the non-negotiables for your next chapter.

Complete the audit and I’ll send you a short personalised video review with practical next steps.

Get your free Career Audit here: www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk

Book a free half hour discovery call to see if we'd be a good fit to work together.

Connect with me on LinkedIn

Visit my website: www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk

If you enjoyed this episode, please follow or subscribe and share it with a man who might need to hear it.

If you've ever wondered who you'd be without your job title, listen on.

I speak to career change coach and former TV executive Andy Sockanathan about identity, career change and the pressure many men feel when they're responsible for supporting their family financially.

Andy shares his unusual career journey from touring Europe as a drummer, to completing a PhD, to spending 15 years in television before being made redundant and building a successful coaching business.

Together, we explore the identity crisis that can come when a career ends, why so many men struggle to separate who they are from what they do and how to find clarity when you're not sure what's next.

• Why career change is often an identity challenge as much as a practical one.
• The reality of redundancy and rebuilding confidence.
• The pressure of being the main earner and supporting a family.
• Why many men struggle to ask for help when they're feeling lost.
• The importance of talking to people and having honest conversations.
• Career change versus career refresh.
• How to find clarity and direction when you don't know what's next.
• Why understanding who you are beyond your job title matters.

Timestamps

00:44 Meet Andy

01:05 From drummer to TV

03:40 Hidden struggles

05:55 The TV identity trap

07:56 Who am I now?

10:21 Redundancy reality

12:13 Finding the coaching path

16:15 The power of conversations

19:23 The reality of working in TV

26:02 Money pressures

27:38 Test before you leap

32:56 Refresh not replace

34:48 Advice for lost men

36:36 Where to find Andy

37:00 Closing thanks

Useful links

Connect with Andy:

Website: www.andysockanathan.com

LinkedIn: Dr Andy Sockanathan

Connect with Jess:

LinkedIn: Jess Spiers

Website: www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk

Book a free half hour discovery call to see if we'd be a good fit to work together.

If you enjoyed this episode, please follow or subscribe and share it with a man who might need to hear it.

If you're feeling unhappy at work but keep talking yourself out of it, this episode is for you.

I unpick three phrases I hear all the time from men in their 40s and 50s:

• I should be grateful.
• I should be responsible.
• I should have this all figured out by now.

On the surface they sound sensible, maybe even innocent. But they’re more dangerous than you think as they keep you stuck, disconnected and afraid to admit that something isn't working anymore.

I explore why these beliefs are so common, how they show up in the men I coach and why they're often driven by guilt, fear and unrealistic expectations, rather than what's actually best for you.

I also share my own experience of leaving my corporate career and how coaching helped me realise that what I thought was responsibility was actually fear in disguise.

In this episode I cover:

• Why being grateful and wanting change can both be true.
• How fear can disguise itself as responsibility.
• Why so many men feel they should have life and work all figured out by now.
• The pressure many men feel to stay strong and cope alone.
• Why asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.
• Practical ways to challenge these beliefs and start moving forward.

If any of these "shoulds" resonate with you, please know you're not alone.

Timestamps

00:00 Welcome to the podcast

00:45 Three ‘shoulds’ overview

01:11 I should be grateful

03:07 Reframe gratitude

03:29 I should be responsible

05:29 Redefine responsibility

05:54 I should have it all figured out by now

07:06 Ask for help practice

07:41 Wrap up and next steps

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If you're feeling successful on paper but know something isn't quite right, complete my free Career Audit as a manageable first step:

www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk

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What happens when the career you've spent years building suddenly comes to an end?

In this episode, I speak to coach and director of Everyday Leader, Colin Tapscott, about his journey from successful headteacher to business owner and the career crisis that changed everything.

On paper, Colin had achieved what many people aspire to. He became a headteacher in his early 30s, built a strong reputation and spent years leading schools. But underneath, something had shifted. The work no longer felt aligned with who he was and what mattered to him.

Then, just as he was planning his next move, an Ofsted inspection led to an abrupt and unexpected end to his career in education.

We explore the impact this had on his identity, confidence and wellbeing and what helped him rebuild.

We discuss:

• How to recognise when your career no longer fits.
• The difference between success and fulfilment.
• Why so many men tie their identity to their job.
• Coping with career setbacks, redundancy and unexpected change.
• The importance of support, reflection and asking for help.
• How to reconnect with your purpose when you're feeling lost.
• What Colin learned from rebuilding his career.

If you've ever found yourself wondering who you are beyond your job title, this conversation is for you.

Useful links:

Find out more about Colin:

Website: www.everydayleader.co.uk

YouTube: @everydayleader3086

Everyday Alchemy: Transforming Your Trash Into Treasure book: https://amzn.eu/d/0azP1cS9

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/colin-tapscott/

Visit Jess's website: www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk

Connect with Jess on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jess-spiers-19760717/

Jess Spiers introduces the first episode of Successful On Paper and explores one of the biggest mistakes she sees men make when they're unhappy at work.

Too often, we jump straight into action mode - updating our CV, scrolling LinkedIn or looking at job adverts - before we've properly understood what's actually wrong.

Jess shares why clarity is the missing piece for so many men in their 40s and 50s and how understanding what matters to you now can make career decisions feel much easier.

She also shares the story of a coaching client who thought he needed a new job, only to discover that what he really needed was more ownership, challenge and meaning in his existing role.

You’ll learn:

• Why taking action too quickly can keep you stuck.
• The role clarity plays in making confident career decisions.
• Why what motivated you 10 years ago may not be what you need now.
• A simple exercise to help you understand what's missing from your career.

If you're feeling stuck, restless or wondering what's next, this episode is a great place to start.

You can also complete Jess's free Career Audit at www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk to get clearer on what's working, what's not and what you need from the next stage of your career.

Useful links:

Visit Jess's website: www.twentytwentycoaching.co.uk

Connect with Jess on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jess-spiers-19760717/

If you're a man in your 40s or 50s who's built a successful career but something doesn't feel right anymore, this podcast is for you.

Find out what you can expect from Successful On Paper with host Jess Spiers, a qualified career coach who specialises in coaching men.

New episodes released every Thursday.