Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast Struggle Care

Codependency is one of those buzzwords often used in therapy and mental health around relationships. Today’s guest has provoked a lot of feedback by challenging people’s views on this subject. Join us for this intriguing conversation. I’m joined by one of my favorite people on TikTok, Shahem Mclaurin, a social worker in Brooklyn, NY, with over 500,000 followers on social media. Shahem is self-described as a person who is “queer as hell, Black as hell, and loud as hell.” They use their platform to address a wide range of social and mental health issues impacting people of color, patriarchy-impacted people, and members of the LGBTQ+ community. Show Highlights: ●      How Shahem’s view of codependency has challenged the worldview of many people ●      Why Shahem got a lot of blowback from his thoughts on codependency when he began to challenge popular worldviews ●      Why we need to differentiate between attention-seeking and connection-seeking behaviors ●      Why people get defensive when their “codependency identification” is challenged ●      How the term codependency originated as part of popular therapeutic language ●      How our culture sees having empathy for someone and expecting accountability from them as opposites that can’t both be true at the same time ●      Thoughts on codependency, outside validation, connectivity, and feeling emotionally safe ●      How to take a look at your unique journey “in the pool” Resources and Links: Connect with Shahem: ⁠TikTok⁠ and ⁠Instagram⁠ Connect with KC: ⁠TikTok⁠, ⁠Instagram⁠, and ⁠Facebook⁠ Get KC’s book, ⁠How to Keep House While Drowning⁠ We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:⁠ www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes⁠   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The thing about boundaries is that they are much more complex than most people assume. The world of boundary-setting is rarely colored with clearly defined black-and-white choices. Today’s episode is a conversation with my friend Bethany about her relationship with her father and how she handled boundaries in ways that felt authentic to her. We are discussing how boundaries come into play in the relationships we have and the decision-making process we use. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: ●      A little background on Bethany’s dad, their relationship, and how she grew up not feeling wanted and approved by him ●      How Bethany’s relationship with her dad got worse as she became an adult and encountered her personal addiction issues ●      How Bethany learned hard lessons about communicating with her dad ●      Why Bethany decided to maintain her relationship with her dad—even though he gave her every reason not to ●      How Bethany set hard boundaries by not engaging with him when he was drinking and verbally abusive to her ●      How extra complexities came into their relationship when his health declined and he needed her more and more ●      Why Bethany’s decisions to engage and re-engage were never about believing he would change ●      Why the boundary decisions we make are less about what is right or wrong and more about how we can remain an authentic, whole person ●      How Bethany handled his terminal illness in ways that left her with no regrets   Resources and Links: Connect with KC: ⁠Website⁠, ⁠TikTok⁠, ⁠Instagram⁠, and ⁠Facebook⁠ Get KC’s book, ⁠How to Keep House While Drowning⁠ We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:⁠ www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m honored to be joined by Pat Sorrells for this episode. Pat is the CEO and president of Camp For All, a camp for ALL abilities and disabilities that opened in 1998. Pat has invested her heart and life into this organization, serving in her current role since 2007. Camp For All has impacted tens of thousands of people in ways that other camps cannot do. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: The beautiful mission of Camp For All A truly “barrier-free” camp is much different from other camps. The importance of a REAL camp experience–instead of short-changing kids with challenging needs Camp For All structure for programs throughout the year The unique model of Camp For All in partnering with organizations to provide camps catering to kids with specific needs Highlights of Pat’s fondest memories of Camp For All’s scope of impact and accommodation Fun camp activities at Camp For All Specific accommodations at Camp For All Want to access Camp For All or partner with Camp For All? Pat explains what to do by accessing their Website. Resources and Links: Connect with Camp For All: Website Preorder my new book: Struggle Care Website, Amazon, and Bookshop Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of Struggle Care, host KC Davis speaks with Neha Ruch, founder of Mother Untitled and author of The Power Pause. Together, they explore the reality of modern motherhood, particularly for women who decide—or feel compelled—to pause their careers to care for their children. This conversation addresses the outdated stereotypes of stay-at-home moms and offers empowering, practical insights for navigating this unique chapter with confidence and clarity. Show Highlights: Neha’s personal story behind writing The Power Pause What the “tradwife” movement misses—and who this book is really for Why "stay-at-home mom" is an outdated and limiting term How women can redefine productivity, identity, and success during a career pause The hidden costs of idealized motherhood in media and social platforms A breakdown of the personal, professional, and family goals women can set while caregiving Financial planning tips and why couples must prepare for the pause together The role of privilege, budgeting, and honest conversations with your partner How to reclaim agency and dignity during motherhood—without losing ambition Why it’s time to rewrite the narrative of caregiving and career on your own terms Resources and Links: 📘 The Power Pause by Neha Ruch – Available wherever you get your books 🌐 Mother Untitled Website – Free resources including financial prep, postnups, and return-to-work guidance 📱 Follow Neha on Instagram Connect with KC Davis: 🌐 Website 📱 TikTok | Instagram | Facebook 📘 How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s topic is exciting: toxic masculinity, which might be better termed “functional masculinity.” I’m joined by Alex Frankel, who grew up in San Francisco clearly understanding that the definition of hotness was dictated by beautiful people in popular magazines. During his entire childhood, he felt trapped in his fat body and hated how he looked. He finally realized that being hot was more than perfect abs and bulging biceps but more of an attitude. Alex is now a successful plus-size model, and he’s a body-acceptance advocate and role model for fat guys all around the world. He created the Hot Fat Guy Club to dispel the myths around diet, culture, fatphobia, and other fat people stereotypes. His goal was to create a welcoming community where people are celebrated and not shamed for their body types. Why do I love this topic? It’s because men are not often talked about in the body positivity movement. Join us for a new perspective from a Hot Fat Guy!   Show Highlights: ● An overview of Dr. Ronald Levant’s Seven Tenets of Traditional Masculine Ideology ● Where the problem of masculinity originates because of deeply entrenched patriarchy, traditional masculine values, programming, and gender policing ● Fascinating trends in how young boys and girls segregate themselves until puberty hits ● Why Alex believes a lack of empathy and respect for other human beings are core issues with today’s masculinity ● How we are taught the power differential by society around relationships and rejection ● How programmed traditional masculinity can be dormant until it flares up later in life ● The link between church and religious propaganda and traditional masculinity ● Why men have been programmed by traditional masculinity around vulnerability and feeling shame in showing emotions ● Three things to note around weaponized vulnerability, emotional safety, and caring feelings ● An example about the inability to express or understand emotions Resources and Links: Connect with Alex Frankel and the Hot Fat Guy Club: TikTok and Instagram Mentioned in this episode: Therapy Chat podcast and The Tough Standard: The Hard Truths About Masculinity and Violence by Ronald F. Levant and Shana Pryor Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today, we are covering an important topic today, but maybe not in the way you expect. I’m joined by Rachel Mulholland (aka Shug CM), a therapist whom I met on TikTok because of her incredible content around sex education for children. Today’s focus is on how our lives as adults are impacted if we don’t get comprehensive sex education as children. Join us for the conversation! Show Highlights: How KC’s story from her teenage years illustrates the gaps that most people have in their education about sex and the fact that sex ed is NOT a one-time conversation How “purity culture” is impacting teenagers in certain places in the US in damaging ways How even most comprehensive sex ed doesn’t address the pleasurable side of sex–and (for females) that the pleasure doesn’t have to come from another person How sexual predators take advantage of the lack of information in sex ed from SAFE places Why parents have real fear about talking to their kids about sex ed The effects of NOT educating kids that sex and pleasure don’t always go together Rachel’s Four Pillars of Safe Sex: confirmation, communication, lubrication, and enthusiastic participation Why parents should be aware when their kids are ready to hear and learn–and begin at the most basic level appropriate for their age How to answer those first little-kid questions around, “Where do babies come from?” Why curiosity is a foundational part of body talk for kids–not just around sexuality How parents can work through their own feelings around sex ed with their children Why Rachel’s next project is a book about body talk Resources: Connect with Rachel: TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and Website (coming soon!) Recommended by Rachel: How Do You Make A Baby by Anna Fiske Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You have probably heard me say, “You can’t save the rainforest if you are depressed.” The truth is that eco-shame and eco-perfectionism can get in the way of our taking steps toward better functioning. If you have ever felt guilty for not being “eco-friendly enough,” this episode is for you!  Rebecca Gray is an environmental epidemiologist. With her master’s degree in public health, she studies disease, the patterns of disease, and health at population levels within communities and countries. She also studies how factors in the environment impact health by causing and promoting disease. Rebecca works with government agencies like the EPA and CDC to develop water guidelines to keep pollutants out of the water supply.  Show Highlights: How Rebecca has experienced forms of eco-shame in her profession How some people push the environmental movement in ways that are able-ist The trap we fall into to “embody the archetype” of the space we occupy How social media plays into the eco-perfectionism pressure we feel Why functionality matters more than the morality of what we do in care tasks, eating, the environment, etc.  Rebecca’s view of today’s environmental movement Why we should ask ourselves how an eco-behavior affects our health and well being What really does need to happen to prevent climate change How our capitalistic society colors what we can do to be eco-friendly How differing narratives make us feel pressured to make individual changes and collective changes to “save the world” How to identify what we need to function well, fill in gaps with eco-friendly behaviors, and learn how to conserve our energy How to take a more reasonable–and less stressful–view of sustainability swaps Actions that have the least impact and the most impact on environmentalism Rebecca’s advice about letting ourselves off the hook for the decisions we make Links & Resources: Connect with Rebecca: LinkedIn  Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m back with one of my favorite guests who is always up for the challenge of a podcast–no matter what the topic is! I want to explore the term rejection sensitivity dysphoria and get Dr. Lesley Cook’s take on it because I have so many questions. Let’s learn more together!  Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist who works with those with ADHD and other kinds of neurodivergence. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia and works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families. Show Highlights: ●      What RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria) is and how it is manifested ●      KC’s personal experience with RSD and feelings of worthlessness ●      How RSD is different from sensory sensitivity and autism ●      Thoughts about the strong word dysphoria in RSD ●      KC’s personal experience with RSD and being told she is “too sensitive” ●      How we can grow, change, and find regulatory strategies for RSD ●      Why it is difficult to communicate the facets and nuances of RSD and other interpersonal difficulties Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Lesley Cook: TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What’s your organizing style? Are you a bee, ladybug, cricket, or butterfly? Find out in today’s episode as professional organizer, Cassandra Aarssen explains how to tidy and organize according to your natural organizational style. Cas is a self-proclaimed “recovering super slob” on a mission to help other families who struggle with disorganization and clutter. Join us! Show Highlights: Cas’s journey to Chief Clutterbug status Four organizational types, according to how you naturally sort and store your everyday things: Butterfly: You are a visual person who wants simple, quick, and easy organizational systems. Bee: You love visual and organizational abundance and are meticulous and detail-oriented, preferring to see your everyday items instead of hiding them away.  Cricket: You love visual simplicity and organizational abundance, wanting to hide items out of sight, but you are detail-oriented and methodical. Ladybug: You love visual and organizational simplicity and prefer all your items hidden out of view with fast, easy solutions. Find your balance between wanting to put things away easily and wanting to find things easily. (You can’t have it both ways!) Parenting challenges in helping your kids learn to organize Cas’s best organizing advice for butterflies: Use plastic bins, baskets, buckets, and labels. Consider your “valuable real estate” from waist to eye level. Establish a “drop zone” in your home. Best tips from Cas and KC for keeping and organizing all the kids’ papers and artwork Cas’s best organizing advice for bees: Use clear, stacking bins and pegboards for meticulous organization. (Fun fact: Most hoarders are actually bees!) Cas’s best organizing advice for crickets: Use lots of styles for traditional organization. Cas’s best organizing advice for ladybugs: Use drawer dividers, bins, and baskets (with no lids). Resources and Links: Connect with Cas: Website (and Resources) Preorder my new book: Struggle Care Website, Amazon, and Bookshop Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re bringing back one of our most insightful and impactful episodes! In our very first episode, you heard my conversation with Dr. Lesley Cook about executive functioning. She had so much wisdom to share that I couldn’t wait to have her back—this time, to explore the topic of self-compassion. Is it possible to have too much self-compassion? How do we find the balance between being kind to ourselves while still striving for progress? Dr. Lesley shares her expertise, breaking down the complexities of self-compassion and how it plays a crucial role in our personal growth. About Our Guest: Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist specializing in ADHD and neurodivergence. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia, where she works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families. Show Highlights: ✅ Finding the balance between self-compassion and personal growth ✅ Understanding self-compassion through Dr. Kristin Neff’s work ✅ The role of shame and how it connects to self-compassion ✅ Strategies for shifting from shame to self-compassion ✅ How self-compassion can become a learned behavior we pass down to our children Link and Resources:  Connect with Dr. Lesley: TikTok and Instagram Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I have big news! Starting now, we will follow a new release schedule for the podcast, going to twice-a-month releases on the first and third Mondays. We’ve done weekly episodes for a couple of years now, and I need to free up some time for exciting upcoming projects. My new book releases on May 6 and is available now for preorder: Who Deserves Your Love? How to Create Boundaries that Start, Strengthen, or End Any Relationship. My next project is a cookbook that focuses on easy, stress-free meals and gentle nutrition with my compassionate philosophy. I’m also trying my hand at fiction writing with my first draft of a fantasy romance novel. I want every project to reflect my full passion and energy, and I feel strongly that it’s time to reallocate my focus toward these other endeavors. I’ll stick to the twice-monthly podcast release schedule for March, April, and May. The last episode in May will be the final episode of the Struggle Care podcast—for now. You never know what might happen in the future! Let’s keep in touch! Sign up for my newsletter at Struggle Care, and I promise not to overload your inbox! Show Highlights: An exclusive sneak peek into my new book, Who Deserves Your Love? How to Create Boundaries that Start, Strengthen, or End Any Relationship My second book has the same disability advocacy perspective as my first book. You’ll find counter-culture messaging for communication and relationships. My book avoids standard attachment types and the language of codependency. An overview of the three parts of my book Listen as I read ch. 7 about The Decision Tree. It’s tricky to occupy the space between wanting to have compassion and grace for people while still having boundaries for yourself. Resources and Links: Preorder my new book: Struggle Care Website, Amazon, and Bookshop Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m excited to have Rev. Lizzie return to the show today to discuss her new book, God Didn't Make Us To Hate Us. Rev. Lizzie is an Episcopal priest who has become a good friend–and is always a fun guest! Join us! Show Highlights: Rev. Lizzie’s new book—and why she wrote it Considering the question, “Why do I believe what I believe?” The truth about Christianity means telling the WHOLE story. The comfort in being loved by God when we’ve been told by people that we are “bad and broken” Living in joy is THE goal. The four parts of Rev. Lizzie’s book A list of books which are foundational pieces of Rev. Lizzie’s faith journey Listen in while Rev. Lizzie reads a moving excerpt from her book about her birthing experience, sin, and God’s perfect love. Resources and Links: Connect with Rev. Lizzie: TikTok, Instagram, and God Didn't Make Us To Hate Us Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Money, money, money—-today’s show is all about money! I’m joined by Dana Miranda, the author of You Don't Need a Budget: Stop Worrying about Debt, Spend without Shame, and Manage Money with Ease. Dana is here to discuss debt from a refreshing perspective, and she shares her best advice about how to proceed after finding your financial footing. Having a budget is NOT the answer to all of your money problems. Join us for expert advice from Dana! Show Highlights: Dana’s path to the work she does today Money decisions are not purely black and white. What it means to be “Healthy Rich” (Check out Dana’s podcast: Healthy Rich.) Financial education is more than the demonization of debt. The fascination with shame as a way to bring behavior change around money (Does it really help to yell at people?) A healthy (and different) approach to debt Debt is strategic for the wealthiest 1%?? How? Understanding how debt products work and impact your credit score With debt, negotiation is always a possibility. Give it a try. Dana’s advice about debt products and red flags to look for Societal attitudes toward “acceptable debt” Addressing the gaps in financial knowledge for the typical American who finally achieves financial stability Accessible financial advice is available—where to look and who to trust Dana’s book: Who is it for and how can it help? Resources and Links: Connect with Dana Miranda: Healthy Rich podcast and You Don't Need a Budget book Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s episode is about surviving abuse, and I’m joined by Lisa Phillips, an abuse survivor. She shares her horrifying experience of surviving abuse at the hands of Jeffrey Epstein, along with so many other young girls. Lisa hosts a podcast called From Now On, where she dives headfirst into stories of abuse and recovery. Join us. Show Highlights: Lisa’s experience with Jeffrey Epstein when she was a young model in NYC Understanding the scope of sex trafficking and sexual predators Common questions survivors ask themselves: “Am I the crazy one? How could I not have known? How could I have been so stupid?” Red flags, boundaries, predators, and “the switch” Look out for “love bombers”! The irony of sharing a history of sexual abuse with a partner (“They want to abuse you in the same way you were abused.”) It’s hard to leave a relationship if you are trauma-bonded to that partner. Abuse makes you more at risk of being abused again. Lisa’s podcast guests, their stories, and universal experiences of abuse Talking to our kids about evil people and “bad guys” The main danger is NOT from strangers. Resources and Links: Connect with Lisa Phillips: Instagram, From Now On Podcast, Podcast Instagram, Podcast TikTok, and From Now On YouTube Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Food rules, pop culture messaging, pressure, and the demonization of certain foods have huge impacts on the meals being eaten every day across the US. There is a better way to ensure we get the nutrition we need without beating ourselves up over the meals we eat. Dalina Soto, Your Latina Nutritionist, joins us for this eye-opening conversation. Join us! Show Highlights: Including your culture is an important part of nutrition. Racial bias, demonized foods (like white rice), and pop culture messaging Food IS fuel—but there’s more to it than nutrition! Rethinking your nutritional hierarchy Decision-making fatigue in meal planning  Reevaluating the “food rules” we follow The “eating out” vs. “buying more groceries” dilemma for American families Dalina’s top tips for quick meals and easy hacks (An air fryer saves the day!) We, as women, put much of the pressure around nutrition on ourselves. Dealing with kids: the key is to keep offering new fruits and vegetables The beauty in finding a good nutritionist who doesn’t demonize cultural foods Dalina’s new book, coming in March: The Latina Anti-Diet Resources and Links: Connect with Dalina Soto: TikTok, Website, and The Latina Anti-Diet book Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Where can you turn when a loved one is in the throes of addiction and needs help? How do you know what professionals to trust and if a treatment center is reputable? So many questions surround the topic of addiction treatment, and it’s a murky industry. We are discussing the seedy underbelly of the addiction industry with my guest. Heidi Voet, LPC, is a longtime mental health professional and the owner of Chapter House Counseling and Sober Living. Heidi and I take on this important topic and explain why, despite the problems, we would still send a loved one into treatment. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: Heidi’s take on the ugliness of the treatment industry Understanding the medical model of treatment vs. the community model 12-step programs, legalism, insurance corruption, and integrity The truth: Exploitation has bled into addiction treatment. The real dilemma for family members The struggle for political correctness while trying to intervene for an addict Heidi’s advice to families who want to intervene: Don’t intervene too fast.  Find the lowest level of appropriate care (think of a ladder of options). Be wise and ask questions of the consultant, case manager, or interventionist. (“Are you on the payroll of a treatment center?”) Speak to current clients, alumni, and families of the center. Red flags in your interaction with a treatment center and helpful questions to ask The need to consider gender-specific treatment Why KC would never recommend a wilderness treatment center Assessing a center’s approach to trauma, medications, and religious philosophies/affiliations Resources and Links: Connect with Heidi Voet and Chapter House Counseling: Website Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sensory health goes far beyond discomfort with a scratchy fabric or loud noises. If you are not familiar with sensory health, this episode will be full of new concepts and revelations for you. You WILL realize how important sensory health is for each of us! My guest is Virginia Spielmann, an occupational therapist who did a TEDx Talk on this topic. She explains sensory health, why it’s important, and how it matters in every area of life. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: Virginia’s background and journey to her work today Sensory health: “how” we feel, what we do with it, and why it connects to everything about our psychological well-being Understanding sensory health as the bridge between mental and physical health Active lifestyles and exercise don’t look the same for everyone. Differences in sensory processing How we unintentionally gaslight our kids’ sensory reactions The importance of being curious as a parent Finding a balance between accommodating and exposure/growth Understanding systematic desensitization Comfort AND challenge—not comfort OR challenge The #1 intervention for improved mental health? Dance and other forms of big play An overview of the STAR Institute’s programs, services, and events Resources and Links: Connect with Virginia Spielmann and the STAR Institute: Website and TEDx Talk Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is the second part to my conversation with Dr. Karla Lester about food shaming, weight bias, metabolic diseases, “almond moms,” and more. Dr. Karla lends her professional expertise to the discussion of these important topics. Join us! Show Highlights: The effect of “almond mom” parenting on kids: food shaming, eating disorders, and more The start of binge eating disorder in very young kids Guarding against “opposite” mistakes with your kids in making good food choices From KC, a parent’s perspective on food choices and neurodivergent kids A switch from compliance to compassion The goal in feeding kids should start with a focus on intentional, daily protein intake (Start with protein at breakfast!) Aim for habit change in a positive direction. Understanding “food noise” and what it means to bust common food myths Dr. Karla’s advice to parents: “Get to neutral.” Red flags for parents to look for in their kids’ food behaviors Responding as a parent to your child’s weight gain/loss The truth about insulin resistance: “It is an epidemic that we cannot ignore!” Understanding the term healthism Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Karla Lester: IME Community, Dr. Karla, TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and Dr. Karla's radio show Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s topic arouses a host of different feelings and reactions around the term “pediatric obesity.” Dr. Karla Lester joins us to share her expertise as a medical professional and her perspective as a concerned parent. Discussing food and eating habits for us and our kids can send us down a rabbit hole with many tangents. Let’s get some balance and clarity in today’s episode. Show Highlights: Parents are victims of diet myths and bad science—and it carries over to our kids. Having food rules doesn’t mean a commitment to restrictive eating. How Dr. Karla came to the work she does today “Almond moms” and “thin privilege” in our society Fact: It is more difficult to navigate the world in a larger body, and parents fear this for their kids. Health myths that “almond moms” believe and pass on to their kids Does thinner always mean healthy? “No, you can be metabolically healthy, or unhealthy, at any weight.” Comorbidities between addictions and eating disorders Myths about obesity causing many health issues Understanding insulin resistance and its causes A look at the COVID-19 epidemic in a different light Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Karla Lester: IME Community, Dr. Karla, TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and Dr. Karla's radio show Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is a lighthearted episode–because we all can use a break from all the heaviness around us. I’m welcoming Caroline, “The Niche Tea Lady,” to the show. Join us! Show Highlights: Understanding “niche tea” Caroline’s favorite story of niche tea: the amazing tale of two birders The biggest plot twist in a niche tea deep dive Memorable niche tea surprise endings Pyramids, video games, and the nuances of content creation Everyone loves an underdog story! “Discords” and weirdo behavior The funniest niche tea in Caroline’s experience: a published back-and-forth between two high-level academics The most viral niche tea stories in Caroline’s experience: birding and beekeeping Resources and Links: Connect with Caroline: TikTok, X, Instagram, and YouTube Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Social anxiety is an interesting topic. Natasha Daniels is a social anxiety therapist and mom who joined us recently to discuss OCD and kids; today, we are exploring another form of anxiety as Natasha helps us understand social anxiety. She wrote a memoir, Out of My Shell, detailing her personal experience.  Show Highlights: Natasha’s background, personal experience, and book about social anxiety The neuro-divergent affirming movement The difference between social anxiety and introversion Do we ALL have some degree of social anxiety? Thoughts on “bed rot,” social anxiety, and what’s “normal” Social anxiety as a defense mechanism The isolation that comes with social anxiety OCD, social anxiety, and autism—a common connection? “A paralyzing fear of others’ perceptions and a preoccupation with managing those perceptions” The difference between a defense mechanism and a personality trait An overview of Natasha’s experience with social anxiety and why she wrote her book Social anxiety is NOT a self-esteem issue. Outsmarting the negative critic in your head Dr. Kristin Neff’s concept of “fierce self-compassion,” which is “a feistiness of advocacy” Resources and Links: Future Fans:Helping little kids become BIG fans Connect with Natasha Daniels: Website (and book) and Instagram Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s topic carries a degree of sensitivity, so consider this a trigger warning if you are sensitive to discussions about sexual assault and sexual harassment. Our focus is on how universities and workplaces are dealing with these issues–and how they can do it better. My guest is Nicole Bedera, a sociologist and author with a Ph.D. Her upcoming debut book is On the Wrong Side: How Universities Protect Predators and Betray Survivors of Sexual Violence. Show Highlights: Nicole’s background as a victim advocate in the criminal justice system College as the entry point into an adulthood of privilege for perpetrators of violence The biggest challenges for universities regarding sexual violence Title IX: where it all began in 1980 Punishing perpetrators AND meeting the needs of survivors—can we do both? Power, punishment, and consequences Nicole’s surprise when she dug deeper into sexual assault cases The myth: Sexual violence only happens from evil men. White supremacy history and sexual assault Barriers to justice and societal norms The truth: Perpetrators rarely change their behavior. The research shows that a lot of men will stop perpetrating IF they know there will be negative consequences. There is little accountability on college campuses for perpetrators. The need to create safe spaces for survivors over perpetrators The Brett Kavanaugh scenario What we CAN fix to have huge ripple effects Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Nicole Bedera: Website, Twitter, and On the Wrong Side book Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if our cities were designed with children participating in the process? What they would prioritize might surprise us all! My guest, Mara Mintzer, did a TEDx talk on the topic of including children in the city planning process, and she’s been involved in this kind of unique child-friendly endeavor in Boulder, Colorado, as the co-founder and Executive Director of Growing Up Boulder. Join us as we take a look at this topic! Show Highlights: Mara’s background and current role in Boulder, CO Public spaces aren’t often designed for children (and mothers). The United Nations guidelines for human rights for those under 18 years of age Wisdom from the tiniest voices about slowing down, enjoying the world around us, and noticing our experiences on life’s journey The Nature Everywhere Initiative in cities across the US Are we supporting kids’ development with our public spaces? The value in having culturally relevant third spaces for kids What would a teen-friendly park look like? Hearing the voices of many diverse groups that have been traditionally excluded Feedback from people about what they want in their communities Promoting involvement from kids to understand their issues and craft workable solutions A few unexpected things that kids want in their spaces The dilemma for parents in kid-friendly restaurants with “adult food” AND “kid food” More relaxed parenting in other countries and better work-life balance Resources and Links: Connect with Mara Mintzer: Growing Up Boulder Mentioned in this episode: The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Returning to school as a neurodivergent adult brings unique challenges, and we are discussing all aspects of this topic in today’s episode. I’m joined by “The Neuro-Spicy Student,” Amber, to share her experience and perspective on this topic. Join us! Show Highlights: Amber’s “alphabet soup” of diagnoses, misdiagnoses, and disabilities Amber’s childhood experience in school Two sides of the coin for most neurodivergent students Amber’s story of multiple attempts at college and (finally) earning multiple degrees Internal barriers in returning to school as an adult A common experience for adults with ADHD: Learning and learning and learning—without formal degrees to show for it Differences in going to school as an older student with accommodations Finding empowerment in advocating for yourself–and healing your younger self Specific accommodations you can ask for in college Amber’s parting words for listeners considering a return to school Resources and Links: Connect with Amber: LinkedIn Explore more from The Neuro-Spicy Student: Linktree Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How are your fighting skills? Most couples could use a LOT of work in this area, and I have just the person to help us! I’m thrilled to be joined by a great friend, Lindley Gentile, for today’s episode. She’s a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who recently wrote an ebook titled, How to Have the Best Fight of Your Life. Listen to our conversation about this thought-provoking topic and learn why looking for right and wrong is the WORST way to handle conflict.  Show Highlights: Lindley’s motivation to write this book? Because many (most!) couples seek therapy around communication issues Fighting well leads to being seen well. The need to uplevel your fighting skill set beyond being “right or wrong” Ways in which we are fighting wrong Making the shift from arguing about who’s right to witnessing one another The fable of the elephant can teach us about being open to another’s experience. The value of “I” statements over “You” statements Withdrawing physically and emotionally during conflict vs. the skill of asking for a pause Fight, flight, or freeze The WWC framework: witness, witness, and collaborate Resources and Links: Connect with Lindley Gentile and Austin Couples Concierge: Website, Instagram, and book Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s episode will be helpful for all parents—and for anyone who has ever been a child. We are discussing OCD, specifically in children, with Natasha Daniels. She has been an anxiety and OCD child therapist for over two decades. As the mother of three kids with anxiety and OCD, her passion and perspective is both professional and personal. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: OCD differs from general anxiety and requires very specific therapies. Signs of OCD, a diverse, idiosyncratic disorder that shows up differently for each person In children, a common sign of OCD is the tendency to ask theme-based, repetitive questions. Is it anxiety or OCD?  Autism and OCD: Comfort/coping skills or compulsion? When does my child need professional help? How do I know? OCD or nervous tics? A discussion of mental health issues in families, social anxiety, neuroplasticity, and addiction Finding “the sweet spot” as a parent (so as not to coddle but not fuel anxiety) The best approach: parents can refuse to participate in the “overblownness” and drama while not being dismissive The wisdom in coaching our kids Resources and Links: Connect with Natasha Daniels: Website (find resources, courses, podcast episodes, and more) OCD Resources: International OCD Foundation and Treat My OCD Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s topic of adoption is a sensitive subject for many people. We are covering adoption from a different perspective as we talk to Stacy, an adult adoptee who belongs to a community of adult adoptees who are vehemently opposed to private infant adoption. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: Meet Stacy and learn her story An overview of differing views of adoption through the years (Are new laws needed?) Examples of laws that are drawing negative feedback from adult adoptees The expense of private infant adoption and the ethical dilemma of a more systemic problem The ratio of parents looking to adopt and available infants A closer look at adoption theology and open adoption The US system that contributes to the number of desperate pregnant women and creates the perfect storm for exploitation, pressure, and propaganda What adopted kids need to know The adoption industry needs a different approach. The nuances of adoption out of foster care For many people, adoption into a “nice” family was/is a fantasy.  Stacy’s viewpoint on what to say–and what NOT to say–to adult adoptees Stacy’s message to adult adoptees Resources and Links: Connect with Stacy: TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s episode is a follow-up to Episode 65, The Dark Underside of Family Vlogging, Part 1, which aired almost a year ago. My guest from that episode, Cam, returns to discuss her reaction to a recent big development in the world of family vlogging. Cam grew up as the child of one of the first well-known “Mommy bloggers,” and is an international advocate for the children of influencers and family vloggers. She shares her perspective on the new California law. Join us! Show Highlights: Understanding the basics of the Child Content Creator Act in California to protect kids’ rights (similar laws are being passed in Illinois and Minnesota) Legal ramifications for parents who don’t follow “the 30% rule” Children on reality TV shows do NOT fall under the new law. Understanding the Coogan Law Cam’s perspective on the protections of the law for children—and what she wishes the law included “The right to forget”: what it means and why it’s not included in the law Cam’s thoughts about a recent scary cancer diagnosis in light of her past history with vulnerability at the hands of her mom’s vlog Growing up with NO boundaries or privacy Laws in CA, IL, and MN to protect kids from being exploited Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s episode covers the topics of bullying, meanness, and conflict. My guest is uniquely qualified to share her wisdom and expertise, which she did in a TEDx talk. Bullying or meanness: what’s the difference, and how do we recognize the two? Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: ● Dr. Eileen’s background as a clinical psychologist and author ● The specific criteria in the definition of bullying ● Empowering our kids to withstand meanness without taking a victim stance: “Conflict is inevitable.” ● Bullying has become “a thought-stopping cliche.” ● Meanness and bullying in the online world ● Vulnerability in being a content creator and dealing with feedback ● A better approach with kids: “Whose opinion matters to you?” ● The truth about self-esteem and a “quiet ego” ● Connecting with something greater than ourselves ● Helping kids learn self-compassion rather than self-esteem (Dr. Eileen teaches a “reflect, but downshift” technique in her book, Kid Confidence.) ● Dr. Eileen’s formula for teaching reflection to kids ● “Whose feelings are most important?” ● Validating and normalizing kids’ feelings (by following their lead) by offering empathy and confidence ● Being your kids “biased biographer” ● Learning to “stay in the water” instead of standing on the edge of the pool ● “Testing the water” to pull back on accommodations Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore: Website (Find books for parents and kids!) and Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic podcast, Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I have an honest confession to make. I am a terrible budgeter, but I’m a world-class financial goldfish. In this episode, I’ll explain my “financial goldfish” status and budgeting for our neurodiverse brains. I’m joined by Jill Sirianni, host of the Frugal Friends Podcast. If you’re like me, and budgeting just doesn’t work for you, you’ll learn a lot from our conversation. Join us! Show Highlights: Characteristics of a financial goldfish Budgets–the diet of the financial landscape (and they don’t work any more than diets do for most people) Top reasons we fall victim to impulse buying The myth of “Wants vs. Needs” The downfalls of typical antiquated budgeting Creativity in meeting needs without spending Jill’s 90-day transaction inventory Helpful online tools A moral problem vs. a systemic problem KC’s helpful hack to be more thoughtful before spending impulsively (like late-night DoorDash) Jill’s tips for creating a pause before spending: keep a list and buy second-hand Understanding the marketing behind sales Making choices about your behavior today that may not align with spending habits held up as the “standard” Understanding values-based spending In finances, one size does NOT fit all.  Resources and Links: Connect with Jill Sirianni and Frugal Friends: Frugal Friends Podcast and Buy What You Love Without Going Broke book by Jen Smith and Jill Sirianni (pre-order now!) Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is about liberation, revolution, and social justice. We are tackling these topics from a practical perspective with my guest, Nat. Join us! Nat Vikitsreth is a licensed clinical social worker who works with families who want to practice social justice in their daily lives but are torn between acting in their communities and at home. She helps them bridge the gap despite being tired, overwhelmed, and stretched too thin. Holding space for their beautiful intentions and walking with them on this journey are Nat’s passions.   Show Highlights: Nat’s background as a transgender woman from Thailand who has become a clinician and a social justice organizer Trying to honor our values about liberation at home and in the community Being your own ally first with agility and awareness of your available bandwidth Learning to hold space for accountability The root causes of our suffering: white supremacy, colonialism, capitalism, and patriarchy Leading with compassion in action instead of punishment What it means to be truly humble Nat’s advice for parents Finding the sweet spot between discomfort and boundaries Being realistic in your family about what causes you can support and take action on with your limited capacity Nat’s words of advice about actions beyond the “sexy actions” to take Resources and Links: Connect with Nat Vikitsreth: Website and Come Back to Care Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What do you do when a loved one won’t seek the mental health treatment that they obviously need? We are looking at the very important topic of mental health from the perspective of your concern for a loved one who might be resistant to asking for help, and what you can do about it. I’m joined by Dr. Alec Pollard, a co-author of When A Loved One Won't Seek Mental Health Treatment: How to Promote Recovery and Reclaim Your Family’s Well-Being. With a long career as a clinical psychologist, he is the founding director of the St. Louis Behavioral Medicine Institute. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: Dr. Pollard’s background and four decades of experience as a psychologist  Turning his focus to help those who are concerned about their loved one’s mental health Dr. Pollard explains The Family Well-Being Approach/Consultation Two types of accommodations that loved ones make: commission and omission Differentiation between appropriate and inappropriate accommodations for a loved one Recovery avoidance: a pattern of behavior that is inconsistent with the process of recovery Creating opportunities for a loved one to get better through support, incentives, and positive rewards Dr. Pollard’s book and its approach of finding a balance between long-term planning and crisis management Dr. Pollard’s takeaway about his book as his proudest achievement in his career Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Alec Pollard: St. Louis Behavioral Medicine Institute and When A Loved One Won't Seek Mental Health Treatment Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you joined us for last week’s episode, you know that we promised Part 2 of my conversation with Franchesca Ramsey. She brings an expert perspective on the various aspects of content creation, like authenticity, compassion, handling negative comments, the value of listening, and more. Franchesca Ramsey is an actor, writer, public speaker, and longtime content creator. She wrote and performed in the web series MTV Decoded, where she tackled race, pop culture, and other uncomfortable topics. Other notable accomplishments include writing for The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore and a nomination for an NAACP award for one of the best books of 2018: Well, That Escalated Quickly: Memoirs and Mistakes of an Accidental Activist. Franchesca shares her expertise and insights about guarding your mental health as a content creator. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: The skills we lack in being human, trusting each other, and genuinely calling someone IN The public vs. private sphere of an online presence Listening, forgiving, and doing the right thing Hard-earned perspectives on hot takes and being silent What’s your WHY for content creation? Handling critical and negative comments on social media Being authentic in content creation means sometimes logging off. KC’s thoughts on her WHY as a content creator Resources and Links: Connect with Franchesca Ramsey: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and book Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s episode is a conversation I’ve been wanting to have for awhile, and I’ve found the perfect person for this topic. Franchesca Ramsey is an actor, writer, public speaker, and longtime content creator. She wrote and performed in the web series MTV Decoded, where she tackled race, pop culture, and other uncomfortable topics. Other notable accomplishments include writing for The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore and a nomination for an NAACP award for one of the best books of 2018: Well, That Escalated Quickly: Memoirs and Mistakes of an Accidental Activist. Franchesca shares her expertise and insights on longevity and mental health as a content creator. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: Burnout is real in the content creation world. Lessons learned about life and authenticity as a content creator, influencer, and vlogger Are you putting your time and energy in the wrong place? You have to censor yourself EVERY day! Impulsive reactions on social media can have severe consequences. Give yourself space to step back. Prioritizing joy in your content and not reacting with anger The nature of social media Strengthening internal boundaries by getting comfortable with being misunderstood Thoughts on cancel culture and negative backlash Our conversation is so good that we don’t want it to end. We will continue with Part 2 with Franchesca in next week’s episode! Resources and Links: Connect with Franchesca Ramsey: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and book Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join us for today’s interesting conversation about ethics, boundaries, suffering, bullying, and being online/offline. There are many facets to these topics as they intertwine with morality, and we are diving into a discussion with Ellie Rushton,  Show Highlights: Ellie’s background, work, and TikTok content about “cultivating bold spaces” Ellie’s definition of bullying: “doing something harmful several times on purpose for the sake of someone’s suffering” Thoughts on bullying and why people do it Holding someone accountable vs. bullying—what’s the difference? Ellie’s perspective on online comments to others’ content Thoughts on the roots of inequality, oppression, and suffering—and the problem with categorizing “good” and “bad” people People are afraid of embodying compassion. What is effective in online spaces Thoughts about boundaries, revenge, and retribution Standing up for what you believe while holding yourself accountable Resources and Links: Connect with Ellie: TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

🌟 Taking a Break! 🌟 Hey everyone! I am taking a short break for August to recharge and prepare exciting new content for you. I’ll be back in September with fresh episodes and engaging conversations. Thanks for your support and patience. Stay tuned for what’s coming next! Today, we are covering an important topic today, but maybe not in the way you expect. I’m joined by Rachel Mulholland (aka Shug CM), a therapist whom I met on TikTok because of her incredible content around sex education for children. Today’s focus is on how our lives as adults are impacted if we don’t get comprehensive sex education as children. Join us for the conversation! Show Highlights: How KC’s story from her teenage years illustrates the gaps that most people have in their education about sex and the fact that sex ed is NOT a one-time conversation How “purity culture” is impacting teenagers in certain places in the US in damaging ways How even most comprehensive sex ed doesn’t address the pleasurable side of sex–and (for females) that the pleasure doesn’t have to come from another person How sexual predators take advantage of the lack of information in sex ed from SAFE places Why parents have real fear about talking to their kids about sex ed The effects of NOT educating kids that sex and pleasure don’t always go together Rachel’s Four Pillars of Safe Sex: confirmation, communication, lubrication, and enthusiastic participation Why parents should be aware when their kids are ready to hear and learn–and begin at the most basic level appropriate for their age How to answer those first little-kid questions around, “Where do babies come from?” Why curiosity is a foundational part of body talk for kids–not just around sexuality How parents can work through their own feelings around sex ed with their children Why Rachel’s next project is a book about body talk Resources: Connect with Rachel: TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and Website (coming soon!) Recommended by Rachel: How Do You Make A Baby by Anna Fiske Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

🌟 Taking a Break! 🌟 Hey everyone! I am taking a short break for August to recharge and prepare exciting new content for you. I’ll be back in September with fresh episodes and engaging conversations. Thanks for your support and patience. Stay tuned for what’s coming next! I’m excited to have Danita Platt on the show today. I didn’t know anyone of color in the field of care tasks until I met her. Her content resonates with me and my views around care tasks, so I hope you’ll enjoy hearing more from Danita! Show Highlights: Who Danita is and how she became an expert on gentle care tasks How our society over the last two generations has moralized care tasks and tied them to the worth of a woman Why we need to rethink our views about care tasks and “being a good woman” that go back to the founding of the US, historically speaking How the concept of “invisible labor” has carried over from colonial days even to today How many white people were able to live the lives they did because of the cheap, exploitable labor of Black women How the Great Migration happened to move many Black families to northern cities from the South How the shift happened to push Black (and white) women to work industrial jobs while men were away during the war How the push is recurring for 1950s homemaking to be viewed as the superior role for women What we DON’T talk about in the fulfilling life of a homemaker How Danita chooses to honor the Black women who had to wash clothes, clean house, and cook meals under duress–with no freedom or choice of their own What Danita would say to women who want to live more joyfully in their homes and experience more freedom and quality of life Resources: Connect with Danita: TikTok and Instagram Mentioned in this episode: Sisters in Hate: American Women on the Front Lines of White Nationalism Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

🌟 Taking a Break! 🌟 Hey everyone! I am taking a short break for August to recharge and prepare exciting new content for you. I’ll be back in September with fresh episodes and engaging conversations. Thanks for your support and patience. Stay tuned for what’s coming next! I’m back with one of my favorite guests who is always up for the challenge of a podcast–no matter what the topic is! I want to explore the term rejection sensitivity dysphoria and get Dr. Lesley Cook’s take on it because I have so many questions. Let’s learn more together!  Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist who works with those with ADHD and other kinds of neurodivergence. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia and works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families. Show Highlights: ●      What RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria) is and how it is manifested ●      KC’s personal experience with RSD and feelings of worthlessness ●      How RSD is different from sensory sensitivity and autism ●      Thoughts about the strong word dysphoria in RSD ●      KC’s personal experience with RSD and being told she is “too sensitive” ●      How we can grow, change, and find regulatory strategies for RSD ●      Why it is difficult to communicate the facets and nuances of RSD and other interpersonal difficulties Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Lesley Cook: TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

🌟 Taking a Break! 🌟 Hey everyone! I am taking a short break for August to recharge and prepare exciting new content for you. I’ll be back in September with fresh episodes and engaging conversations. Thanks for your support and patience. Stay tuned for what’s coming next! I’m excited about today’s guest because she has had a huge influence on me. I can confidently say that finding her research on self-compassion was a turning point in my healing journey. Do you need more self-compassion? Join us to learn more! Dr. Kristin Neff is a renowned psychologist, self-care researcher, and author. Her work has had a profound impact on the field of psychology and has helped countless people cultivate self-acceptance and resilience.  Show Highlights: How self-compassion became Dr. Kristin’s main area of research Understanding self-esteem vs. self-compassion The three components of self-compassion: mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness How self-esteem creates comparison and social disconnection by being conditional and unstable How self-compassion gives the gift of authenticity The difference between fierce self-compassion and tender self-compassion How self-compassion helps us get past our shame Why self-compassion doesn’t mean indulgence Pathways and blocks to self-compassion The connection between self-compassion and psychological functioning How self-compassion helps when we fail and make mistakes Why the goal of practicing self-compassion is to be simply a compassionate mess who is completely human Why the practice of self-compassion has to start small with baby steps of warmth and support (What would you say to a friend?) A look at Dr. Kristin’s latest book, Fierce Self-Compassion How anger fits into self-compassion Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Kristin and find many helpful resources: Website Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Our deep dive into ABA and autism continues in this episode. Today’s guest recently finished her Ph.D. in Education, focusing on disability studies and related research in the world of DEI. Dr. Robin Roscigno helps educate parents about neurodiversity to create a more inclusive world for neurodiverse individuals. She posts frequently on social media platforms about autism and autism therapies. Her studies and life experiences give her both a professional and personal relationship to this topic because of her brother’s childhood diagnosis of autism. Robin was also diagnosed with autism along with her young daughter and began navigating the therapy world as a parent who struggled to find therapies that are affirming. After leaving teaching to pursue her Ph.D., she now focuses on autism intervention and challenging the dominant paradigms.  Show Highlights: Understanding what ABA therapy is and why there is such controversy around this topic The dilemma for parents in the “explosive landscape” of ABA Understanding behaviorism as a therapeutic approach The old-school ABA therapy and its focus on eye contact How current autism therapies are designed to make people appear “less autistic” and “fit in more” in the world The need for wisdom and a harm-reduction approach in therapies Choosing a school program for your child based on goals and techniques and not a binary (ABA:good or ABA: bad) approach The foundation of neurotypical norms (like eye contact) in connection, relationships, and social referencing—-which we ALL need Teaching social referencing in affirming ways that help develop skills Looking for red/green flags in assessing specific goals and techniques from an advocacy perspective Unrealistic expectations of autistic kids and their parents   Resources and Links: Connect with Dr. Robin Roscigno: Website, TikTok, LinkedIn, Instagram, and TEDx Talk: “Your Autistic Child Can Have a Great Life. Here’s How” Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For several recent episodes, I’ve been interviewing people with autism about their perspectives and experiences. We are discussing the DSM criteria, stereotypes about autism, and how autism affects the lives of both children and adults. An autism diagnosis can have many different nuances, and there is so much more to autism than the DSM criteria. Today’s guest, Kerry Magro, shares his experience in this episode. Join us to learn more! Show Highlights: Kerry’s growing up years with mostly communication and sensory-based challenges, love and support from his family, and his success as a professional certified speaker Kerry’s various college and graduate degrees Stereotypes about autism Understanding autism as a true spectrum with a wide range of complexities and strengths Kerry’s challenges with eye contact and other social norms Understanding “autism burnout,” masking, representation, and “honoring” the disability Kerry’s perspective on autism and relationships “Repetitive and restricted behaviors” in adulthood Kerry’s experience as an adult, dealing with sensory sensitivities and learning to speak up for accommodations Kerry’s experience with autism and physical touch Advice for parents Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you heard our episode from a couple of weeks ago, you know we discussed Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA). Today, we are looking at the controversy surrounding ABA, why many people are in favor of it, and why many people oppose it. My guest, Taylor, is a BCBA, a board-certified behavior analyst, so let’s discuss this topic and learn more from her. Show Highlights: An explanation of ABA and the role of a BCBA The language of ABA: desired behaviors, undesired behaviors, behavior contrast, punishment, replacement behaviors, injurious behaviors, tantrum behaviors, etc. Taylor’s story about going to an ABA conference The historical harm that ABA has done to autistic children The dehumanizing aspects of ABA Is the goal of ABA to make an autistic child seem less autistic? Therapies covered by health insurance for an autistic child: speech, occupational, and ABA The side of ABa that no one talks about ABA: helpful, traumatizing, or distressing? Taylor’s path to becoming a BCBA An autism diagnosis does NOT mean that you need ABA. A look at a typical ABA session (even though each session is highly individualized to the needs of each person) Taylor’s top three things that can be done to better serve autistic people Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As we continue with our series on autism, I’m joined by Kathleen Walker for today’s bonus episode. We discuss the basic criteria for autism, her experience as a child with an early diagnosis, what it’s like for an autistic person to “play by the rules” of business etiquette in the workplace, and her advice for parents of autistic children. Join us to learn more from Kathleen! Show Highlights: The first criteria for autism: “persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction” Kathleen’s perspective on her social communication and interactions as an early-diagnosed child Examples of how an autistic person might “miss things” in interaction and communication Challenges for the autistic person in a professional career vs. in personal relationships Masking and modified behaviors to be accepted Kathleen’s suggestion for rewriting the DSM criteria based on communication/interaction Helping autistic kids feel comfortable and navigate the world in their own ways Kathleen’s experience with social difficulties around conversations, nonverbal cues, and anxiety For an autistic person, connection in relationships might not be a top priority in life. Kathleen’s experience with “repetitive and restrictive interests, rituals, and schedules Kathleen’s advice for parents of autistic children Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode Psychologist Lesley PsyD discusses Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy, particularly in the context of autism, during Autism Awareness Month. This conversation aims to provide a neutral and factual overview of ABA, exploring its principles, applications, and the diverse perspectives surrounding it. Lesley explains ABA's focus on understanding and modifying behavior through reinforcement and environmental adjustments. They address the benefits and risks of ABA, emphasizing the importance of individualized approaches and naturalistic learning. Show Highlights: Overview of Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) therapy and its relevance to autism. Clarification of ABA terminology and its practical applications. Discussion of the emotional and controversial nature of ABA therapy. Examination of the challenges parents face in accessing appropriate therapies for children with autism. Importance of understanding behavior in context, including antecedents and consequences. Exploration of the benefits and risks associated with ABA practices. Critique of the focus on compliance and neurotypical standards in ABA. The role of reinforcement in behavior modification and its implications for intrinsic motivation. Discussion of the need for individualized approaches to therapy that respect children's unique experiences. Advocacy for a compassionate and nuanced understanding of autism and behavior analysis. Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In today’s episode, you’ll hear from three guests about their autism experience and their perspectives on common stereotypes about autism around communication, relationships, and more. This is a bonus follow-up to our most recent episode about autism with Kaelynn Partlow. Join us as we explore autism further with Syd, Atlas, and Sapphire. I’m happy to have them here to share their insights.  Show Highlights: Meet Syd, a 22-year-old post-grad student who is self-diagnosed as autistic and ADHD: Thoughts on relationships, unmasking, and “quality over quantity”  Being yourself in a world that isn’t always welcoming to your kind Cultivating a special (and rare!) interest in learning and education Meet Atlas, who was self-diagnosed at age 16: Identifying with autistic characters on a favorite TV show What it’s like to pick up on other people’s perceptions of your weirdness Autistic traits that Atlas recognized from childhood about obsessive routines Meet Sapphire, who was identified as autistic in 5th grade but not diagnosed until age 19: Nuances around communication, conversations, and awkward silences The common misunderstandings about what a relationship with an autistic person can be like Using an “Excel spreadsheet in my brain” to catalog each person Relationships and the need for “alone time” to decompress Sapphire’s advice to parents who are hesitant to have their child tested/diagnosed Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Happy Autism Awareness Month! Yes–I know that was in April, but I have ADHD and am easily distracted. I’ve procrastinated for more than a year on doing some really great episodes about autism because I want to do justice to this topic. I’m starting with an amazing TikTokker, Kaelynn Partlow. I’ve followed her for quite a while, but you might know Kaelynn from Netflix’s Love on the Spectrum. Kaelynn shares about autism from her personal experience and her professional work with autistic kids. She was diagnosed at age 10 with autism, dyslexia, dyscalculia, and ADHD. Her background provides a unique perspective on advocacy that is worth our attention. Join us! Show Highlights: Specific criteria (from the DSM) for autism—and Kaelynn’s experience with each one Persistent deficits in social communication and interaction Restrictive or repeated behavior Kaelynn’s experience in making and maintaining friendships while growing up and now Masking: What it is and what it feels like The nuances of eye contact: not enough or too much? All autistic behaviors ARE human behaviors. Stimming from an autistic perspective and a non-autistic perspective Kaelynn’s special interests, routines, and self-imposed “rules” Kaelynn’s experience with sensory issues: noises, fabrics, etc.  Kaelynn’s perspective on physical touch (Most autistic people don’t like physical touch.) Kaelynn’s diagnosis at age 10 (after the assumption that she was genius-level intelligent.) Autism is NOT an invisible disability! Kaelynn’s reflection on her childhood and helpful therapies and treatments Kaelynn’s thoughts on common ADA controversies Kaelynn’s advice to those who might fear being “labeled” if they pursue testing for themselves or their child What Kaelynn sees as the biggest misunderstanding about autism today Resources and Links: Connect with Kaelynn Partlow: TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook **Look for Kaelynn’s book, Life on the Bridge, to be released this summer! Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We are back for Part 2 of a fascinating discussion with Derrick Hoard, a licensed marriage and family therapist, TikTokker, and video game aficionado. We left off in last week’s episode talking about how some people rely too heavily on gaming for their coping skills in life and how “mindful gaming” can go beyond simply pushing buttons and help in many ways. The conflict over video games extends beyond partner relationships and definitely leads to challenges for parents and their kids. Let’s explore this topic with Derrick! Show Highlights: Myths and misconceptions about video games from a parent’s perspective Being mindful means using as many of the five senses as possible and being purposeful. Video games can lead to emotional connection, learning, and many problem-solving skills. Derrick’s perspective on gamers who play a variety of games: good or bad? Thoughts on the benefits of games like Skyrim and Mass Effect The value of a collaborative approach by parents who get involved in a child’s gaming life respectfully and appropriately The benefits of video games for neurodivergent kids, overall mental health, and therapeutic approaches The key for parents of gamers: accepting video games as ways to promote mindfulness, deep conversations, true interest, growth, skill development, curiosity, and maturity Resources and Links: Connect with Derrick Hoard: Website, TikTok, and the Mindful Gaming Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to Struggle Care, where we talk about all things individual and systemic that affect your life, wellness, and mental health. Joining me is Derrick Hoard, a licensed marriage and family therapist, TikTokker, and video game aficionado. I’ve followed him since 2020, and I love his thoughts and perspectives. Today’s topic, video games and relationships, stirs up some strong reactions and opinions, but you will walk away from this episode with a fresh and thoughtful view of the hobbies we all enjoy in our lives. Let’s get into it! Show Highlights: Video games are misunderstood and not recognized for what they are—the most beautiful, immersive forms of storytelling that exist. Men can get in touch with emotions through playing video games. Video games get unjustly blamed for communication problems in relationships. Video games comprise a safe space of non-judgment where one can feel confident and competent.  Thoughts about men in therapy, gender dynamics, and emotional labor Consideration and honesty in relationships about our hobbies Society’s expectation of productivity leads us to feel shame and guilt about our hobbies. This is so wrong! Understanding how to have honest and authenticity in our relationships—from the start Red flags to look for when video games (or other obsessive hobbies) become our ONLY coping skills in life3 Resources and Links: Connect with Derrick Hoard: Website, TikTok, and the Mindful Gaming Podcast Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you want to bring sexy back into your life? This concept encompasses much more than actual sex, but it reaches to the inner depths of a woman’s core identity, vitality, and attitudes about life. This episode was prompted by the response to a recent TikTok in which I commented about how I’ve rediscovered things about myself here in my late 30s as my kids are a bit older and I have more time to myself. The response was big, with many questions about what I’ve done. I hate to say that there really is no big secret, but this topic is well worth exploring, so I’m bringing in my good friend, Lindley Gentile, a licensed marriage and family therapist. She is an expert who works specifically with women around rediscovering their sexiness, or perhaps, learning to discover it for the first time.  Show Highlights: Contributing factors to why women lose their individuality and sexiness The roles women fall into throughout life’s phases—without any renegotiation with their partner Sexiness in identity is about MUCH more than having sex. Being “turned on” is about aliveness, vitality, positivity, and a vibration of your soul. Care tasks create a barrier to pleasure. Sex is like a playground for fun and pleasure, and the aging woman can have more fun at the playground. Aging women, what they wear, and feeling sexy Sexiness is about energy and how you feel. False messages from society around fatphobia, suppression, and ideology Fantasy is a gift and a power that can overcome our tendency to overthink. Lindley’s starting point with women who want to rediscover their sexiness Lindley’s recommended reading for every woman: Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski Resources and Links: Connect with Lindley Gentile: Website, TikTok, and Austin Couples Concierge Counseling Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As usual, we are talking about all things mental health, wellness, and topics that matter to us both individually and systemically. I’m excited to be joined by Parker Bushman, the founder and CEO of Ecoinclusive Strategies and the Inclusive Journeys Guide. Ecoinclusive Strategies is a consulting firm that works with conservation-based organizations, environmental organizations, and nonprofits around diversity, equality, and inclusion. Join us! Show Highlights: Nature should be free and accessible to ALL! The existing disparities in neighborhoods, tree cover, park access, and open spaces Racist roots of the conservation movement Messages of elitism among “outdoorsy” people Things that have been baked into our ideas about who gets to be outside and enjoy it–We need to break down the barriers! Thoughts about able-ism and outdoor spaces Parker’s consulting work with organizations doing wildland restoration, community engagement, and DEI work Building community through engagement, information, collaboration, and empowerment Systemic issues that prevent outdoor access Parker’s advice to everyone about finding outdoor activities that you enjoy Resources and Links: Connect with Parker Bushman and Ecoinclusive Strategies: Website, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices