Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast
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Titre
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Final Fantasy XIII Part Nine: Pain Creates Miracles REUPLOAD
31 oct. 2026
02:21:49
Final Fantasy XIII Part Nine: Pain Creates Miracles REUPLOAD Square Roots - Episode 536
Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:03:30 Quest Log: 0:38:45 Level Up: 1:58:30
This week on Square Roots, we finish a big game! That's right, everyone* finished Final Fantasy XIII and now we are free to move on from another game, free from the crystal prison we were incased in. I was one of the non-naked crystal people.
Looks Like A Rum Cag A Grok Girlie Spooky Nikki Is Back The Holey Highway It's Never Going To Be Tom Bombadil Somehow Vanille Returned
This Week: Finish Final Fantasy XIII! FOREVER! Next Week: Wake Up In Bed A Second Time In Vampire The Masquerade: Bloodlines II
*Except Jim
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Square Roots October Spooky Story Spectacular! Featuring Vanessa Ghostface Jigsaw REUPLOAD
22 oct. 2026
01:21:02
Square Roots October Spooky Story Spectacular! Featuring Vanessa Ghostface Jigsaw Square Roots - Episode 535
Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:05:59 Level Up: 0:21:48
Our schedule was getting all over the place, so we've got a short catch up episode before we finish Final Fantasy XIII next Monday! So we discuss some Hot Gaming News, sppoky games, level up classics of our experiences with ghost stories! Also Johnny's underwhelming road trip with Vanessa and her mom, and Vanessa's airport Michael Sheen adventure in Vanessa's Dream Corner.
This Week: WE STALL FOR ONE MORE WEEK! Next Week: Finish Final Fantasy XIII! FOREVER!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Final Fantasy XIII Part Seven: HECKACHUNKER! Square Roots - Episode 534
Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:05:45 Quest Log: 0:22:11 Level Up: 1:40:14
This week on Square Roots we barrel through a giant, double stuffed chunker full of all the side quests in the game. Because Chapter 11 has all of them. Also! There's a tower at the end, but is it the first real dungeon of the game?
A One Hit Pizza Candy Hog Is Bart the Worst Final Fantasy Villain? Matt Compulsively Plays A Game He Doesn't Like
This Week: Finish Final Fantasy XIII Chapter 11! Next Week: Finish Final Fantasy XIII! FOREVER!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Final Fantasy XIII Part Six: Chapter 11 Mailbag Episode!
05 oct. 2026
01:46:35
Final Fantasy XIII Part Six: Chapter 11 Mailbag Episode! Square Roots - Episode 533
Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:02:45 Mail Bag: 0:27:00 Smoosh Mouth: 1:20:25 Level Up: 1:31:45
This week on Square Roots we don't actually do a quest log because there's not that much to talk about with Chapter 11 of Final Fantasy XIII, it's just super long, so we're giving Johnny specifically time to work his way through all those Ci'eth stones! We answer such questions as:
What polygon to put Lara Croft's nipples on in a PS1 nude mod? Why you should not wash your teeth with a bottle of jack? Is Bowser a Dom? Why isn't Midbus dateable? ALSO SMOOSH MOUTH!
This Week: MAILBAAAG Next Week: Finish Final Fantasy XIII Chapter 11!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Final Fantasy XIII Part Five: Jihl Nabaat Is A Nerd
28 sept. 2026
01:48:35
Final Fantasy XIII Part Five: Jihl Nabaat Is A Nerd Square Roots - Episode 532
Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:03:10 Quest Log: 0:21:20 Level Up: 1:24:25
This time on Final Fantasy XIII, blood comes out of Matt's eyes as he tries to be nice about the game. But we all love Barthandalous! "Eat my shorts," he says.
Also: • Derek Waters is Bilbo Baggins Coded • Game Pass Ads • Pop It Back In, It's Fine • Matt Says PBR tastes like Skunk Juice • The First Time In The Game You Can Speak To An NPC • I Paused My Game to Be here
This Week: Finish Final Fantasy XIII Chapter 10! Next Week: Finish Final Fantasy XIII Chapter 11!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Final Fantasy XIII Part Four: Are They Space Friends Or Are They Lesbians?
21 sept. 2026
02:10:07
Final Fantasy XIII Part Four: Are They Space Friends Or Are They Lesbians? Square Roots - Episode 531
Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:05:10 Quest Log: 0:26:21 Level Up: 1:55:42
This time on Final Fantasy XIII: secrets are revealed! Anger is confronted! Australians are outed!
Also: • He is the Best at What He Does, and What He Does is QuickTime Events • People Can Be Bisexual, Matt • Nobody Thinks Of Him As From Tarzan • No Witnesses Means Full Stealth • It's A Long Air Pod • Fireworks That Drop CDs
This Week: Finish Final Fantasy XIII Chapter 8! Next Week: Finish Final Fantasy XIII Chapter 10!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Final Fantasy XIII Part Three: A Bottomless Reservoir of Chrys Points
14 sept. 2026
01:39:41
Final Fantasy XIII Part Three: A Bottomless Reservoir of Chrys Points Square Roots - Episode 530
Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:05:05 Quest Log: 0:22:20 Level Up: 1:19:00
Okay, we start off with a bit of a blunder, but we can all recover from it! Even Vanessa! Yes, THIS is the episode where Lightning has the Worst Birthday Ever, because she makes her sister becoming a l'Cie ALL ABOUT HERSELF. Also she gives Hope a knife to kill her future brother in law.
Also: • I Was Happy To See A Character Or Event • OD Was The Dog From Garfield • Vanessa Boyfriend, Janosz from Ghostbusters II • Most of the Animals are Cyber • A Lot of Shots of Lightning Saying "Tsk!" and Looking Away
This Week: Finish Final Fantasy XIII Chapter 6! Next Week: Finish Final Fantasy XIII Chapter 8!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Final Fantasy XIII Part Two: A Motorcycle Made Of Lesbians
09 sept. 2026
02:28:08
Final Fantasy XIII Part Two: A Motorcycle Made Of Lesbians Square Roots - Episode 529
Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:04:30 Quest Log: 0:26:10 Level Up: 2:08:10
Wait, you can use libra twice? WHAT? WHY? HOW?! WHY DIDN'T THEY TELL ME, unless it was in a datalog or a tutorial window I skipped or the manual. Anyway this time on Square Enix's epic Final Fantasy XIII, we mostly walk a lot.
Also: • Lesbian Cops • Big Cloud Energy • A Beta Behemoth AND an Alpha Behemoth • Pulled Pork Is Not Ham
This Week: Finish Final Fantasy XIII Chapter 4! Next Week: Finish Final Fantasy XIII Chapter 6!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Final Fantasy XIII Part One: The Sacrificial MILF, Nora
31 août 2026
02:45:19
Final Fantasy XIII Part One: The Sacrificial MILF, Nora Square Roots - Episode 528
Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:02:35 Quest Log: 0:29:35 Level Up: 2:20:00
Finally, it's time to face our destiny as L'Cie. Or a PULSE L'Cie. Or a Fal'cie. Or a Cie'th. In Final Fantasy XIII by Square Enix!
Also: • This game has voice acting. • Big Cloud Energy • That's Where She Keeps Her Potions • Beta Cuck Behemoth • Hawthorne Heights Hair • This Guy Listens to 311 • Wakka With A Gun
This Week: Finish Final Fantasy XIII Chapter 2! Next Week: Finish Final Fantasy XIII Chapter 4!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Dispatch Part 4: So It's Just the End of Wild Wild West? - Episode 527
25 août 2026
02:56:43
Dispatch Part 4: So It's Just the End of Wild Wild West? - Episode 527
We finished Dispatch! Wow. What a game. What else is there to say? Lots, apparently.
This Week: Finish Episode 8 of Dispatch! Next Week: Finish Chapter 2 of FFXIII!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Dispatch Part 3: Kingdom Hearts 4: A Puzzle of the Flesh
17 août 2026
02:16:21
Dispatch Part 3: Kingdom Hearts 4: A Puzzle of the Flesh Square Roots - Episode 526
Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:05:40 Quest Log: 0:30:15 Level Up: 1:56:41
We are terrified with our encounters with the ultimate villain of Dispatch: SLADE!
Also: • Ten Minutes on Yeast Infections • Another Ten Minutes on Pizza Bagels and Rolls • Kevin Costner Is Just Boring Patrick Swayze • Matt Forgot His Belt • Vanessa Wants A Salt Lick
This Week: Finish Episode 6 of Dispatch! Next Week: Finish Dispatch!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Dispatch Part 2: His Name Is Mister Whisky And No One Knows If He's A Guy In A Suit
12 août 2026
02:40:36
Dispatch Part 2: His Name Is Mister Whisky And No One Knows If He's A Guy In A Suit Square Roots - Episode 525
Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:02:25 Quest Log: 0:24:00 Level Up: 2:01:15
OBSESSION (2026) SPOILERS AT 02:17:00 THROUGH 02:26:00
We become an old person podcast! We don't approve of this Yung Gravy, even if his delivery as Golem is quite good. That's right, we're adding so many more Dispatch episodes. Eight? Twelve? Thirty two?!
Also: • Warriors Cats! • Page Doctor Matt For Cruising Analysis • Name One Bad Thing Chevy Chase Has Ever Said • We Finally Remember to Do a Johnny's Bullshit Mini Game Corner
This Week: Finish Episode 4 of Dispatch! Next Week: Finish Episode 6 of Dispatch!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Dispatch Part 1: First Of All, Yes. Of Course. Square Roots - Episode 524
We play Dispatch! It's fun. We only covered eps 1 and 2 of the game this week. Sorry for lying!
This Week: Episodes 1 and 2 of Dispatch Next Week: Episodes 3, 4, and 5 of Dispatch
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Legend of Dragoon Part 9: Lip Or Mustache Square Roots - Episode 523
Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:07:51 Quest Log: 0:36:45 Level Up: 2:29:35
A Fleshy Body of a God gets squirted onto Planet Endiness, everyone gets to deal with unresolved moments from the past, and Dart finally gets to talk to his Dad in this extra special extra long finale for the Legend of Dragoon series! We did it! We finished the game!
Also: • A Joke For Our European Listeners • Is Jim's Mind Blown • P-E-O-N-I-X • DAN ACKROYD CAN'T HAVE AN ERECTION • A Romantic Threesome
This Week: Finish Legend of Dragoon! Next Week: Finish Episode 4 of... Dispatch?!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Legend of Dragoon Part 8: The Winglies' Plan A Is Kill A Baby Every 108 Years
20 juil. 2026
01:52:16
Legend of Dragoon Part 8: The Winglies' Plan A Is Kill A Baby Every 108 Years Square Roots - Episode 522
Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:06:20 Quest Log: 0:25:15 Level Up: 1:34:00
We get to the best part of the game: uncovering and exploiting the Winglies' legal process! That's right, you learn how to propose amendments to bills, where to create a law, and then propagation of the law! One slow step at a time. And you said Legend of Dragoon wasn't awesome!
Also: • Taco Heroes • The Moon That Never Sets Is A Shadow Heart? • Courage Is Refusing To Talk About Your Situation • They Always Say Their Own Names In Their Sentences So I Hate Them • Then Some Dumb Shit Happens
This Week: Finish the Law City! Next Week: Finish Legend of Dragoon!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Legend of Dragoon Part 7: Daddy's Home Square Roots - Episode 521
Hot Gaming Gossip: There isn't any Quest Log: 0:10:24 Level Up: 1:37:36
We learn a lot of secrets on this weeks episode! What's Lloyds whole deal? Who is Emperor Diaz anyway? And what's up with Rose? Listen and find out!
Also: • Mega Mega: Explaining Captain N to Jim • Make Endiness Great Again oh wait Johnny says no • We didn't expect that guy to get annihilated • Who cares about Miranda's mom?
This Week: Finish Disc 3! Next Week: Finish the Law City
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Legend of Dragoon Part 6: If You'd Like to Learn More About Soa and the Great Tree, Visit Your Local Library
06 juil. 2026
02:11:04
Legend of Dragoon Part 6: If You'd Like to Learn More About Soa and the Great Tree, Visit Your Local Library Square Roots - Episode 520
Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:05:20 Quest Log: 0:25:15 Level Up: 1:55:30
On this exposition-heavy episode of Square Roots, we dive into the library of Deningrad and meet a real cool dragon!
Also: • The Definition of Dead Is You Flop on the Floor • These People Definitely Have Mould • Every Guy With A Lion Hat Is The Same Guy • My Very Excellent Mother Served Us Nachos • Drenched in Lore • Martial Arts Dad
This Week: Retrieve the Dragon Block Staff! Next Week: Finish Disc 3!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Legend of Dragoon Part 5: Rose's Vaginal Vortex Square Roots - Episode 519
Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:07:45 Quest Log: 0:28:50 Level Up: 1:45:00
On this heavy flowing chunker of Sony's Legend of Dragoon, we learn so much about Rose from her Level 3 attack. Every element of it was a surprise. The menstrual blood. The legs spread. How she's like a Vaginal Kirby. Put down a towel, it's a lot.
Also: • Too Many Nopon? • It's A Fantasy World, Bed Bath & Beyond Could Still Exist • The Love Child of Grimace and Slimer • Somehow Emperor Diaz Has Returned • Another Deep Gash! • A Hot Prize
This Week: Confronting Lenus Again and then Finishing Disc 2! Next Week: Retrieve the Dragon Staff!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Legend of Dragoon Part 4: Bring A Knife Square Roots - Episode 518
Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:06:40 Quest Log: 0:27:30 Level Up: 2:12:00
On this episode, I wrote a special birthday song for Jim! Should I have sang something in my range? Probably! Meanwhile, Kaffi is the breakout star of Sony's classic JRPG Legend of Dragoon because she loves stars and hot goss.
Also: • Fantasy Villain Lloyd • Executive AI Software Brain • If The Alien Sees You, Just Lay Down And Die • Morning Glory: Milking Farm: A Monster Bait Romance • Emille Is A Vanessa Role-Model • Dart's Tryptophobia Bandana
This Week: Play through the Moon Dagger Ceremony Next Week: Confronting Lenus Again
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Legend of Dragoon Part 3: The Gayest Death Scene of All Time!
15 juin 2026
02:13:57
Legend of Dragoon Part 3: The Gayest Death Scene of All Time! Square Roots - Episode 517
Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:05:37 Quest Log: 0:25:00 Level Up: 1:42:04
It's okay for me to write that, as a gay man. There's so much pathos and hand holding and it's all very dramatic. And this is just a chunker of Sony's Legend of Dragoon, a cult classic PlayStation 1 JRPG!
Also: • We Brainstorm Kingdom Hearts 4 • SO MUCH NINTENDO NEWS • Well, He Was Whooped Up • The Griping Room! • Johnny's Nuanced Thoughts On Sportsmates • Chucky's Out Back Hitting His Vape
This Week: Get to the End of Disc 1! Next Week: Play through the Moon Dagger Ceremony
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Legend of Dragoon Part 2: Shana, You Should Stay Here
09 juin 2026
02:19:01
Legend of Dragoon Part 2: Shana, You Should Stay Here Square Roots - Episode 516
Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:04:45 Quest Log: 0:42:00 Level Up: 1:54:15
There's an Extra Packed Hot Gaming Gossip this week because every game company has announced everything! Every game you've ever wanted! But in Legend of Dragoon we get another party member, Rose! And we meet a ghost!
Also: • Vanessa Explains Her Floor Banana • Fires Make Dart Horny • "Ugh! I've Got A Deep Gash!" • Sweet Super Sentai Transformations • Is Rose Evil?
This Week: Have an ~Encounter~ with the Silver Ghost, Shirley! Next Week: Get to the End of Disc 1!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Legend of Dragoon Part 1: LAVITZ SLAMBERT! Square Roots - Episode 515
Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:02:45 Quest Log: 0:28:50 Level Up: 2:05:00
MATT'S BANISHMENT ENDS! Jim stands the entire time! And we start Sony's Definitely Not Inspired By Final Fantasy VII Legend of Dragoon! It's nice to be back in the comfy cozy PlayStation generation with a real old JRPG we never actually played back in the day. That's right: we're all BABY FRESH EYES!
Also: • Legend the of Dragon • We Say Dragooning A Lot • Heal Yourself On The Cuck Chair • Dragoons Are Guys Who Jump Up Real High • Johnny Has No Pants
This Week: Get to the town of Bale. Next Week: Have an ~Encounter~ with the Silver Ghost!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden Part 6: Ghost Court Square Roots - Episode 514
Hot Gaming Gossip: NOT THIS WEEK! Quest Log: 0:16:34 Level Up: 1:29:30
Sorry for the delay. This episode of Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden is cursed. Everything has gone wrong. But I think you won't be cursed if you listen. Probably. Matt has haunted the podcast.
Also: • Matt May Cry • Gay Bear Podcasters Who I Feel Parasocially Bonded To • Keanu's Jim Tattoo • Johnny's Vulnerability Corner • You Can Tell It's The Late 2010s Because Lizzo Is Playing
This Week: Finish Banishers: The Ghosts of New Eden Next Week: Get to Bitcht - uh, the town of Bale in Legend of Dragoon.
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden Part 5: I Saw Some Locking, But Not A Lot of Popping
19 mai 2026
02:14:48
Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden Part 5: I Saw Some Locking, But Not A Lot of Popping Square Roots - Episode 513
Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:04:15 Quest Log: 0:32:58 Level Up: 1:40:50
This time on Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden, we pause before the final confrontation to solve some folks's spooky problems. Also:
Also: • I Never Saw Gold Kill A Werewolf • Xcellent Branding of Xbox • Join the Saturn Tier • Girls Are Doinkin' It To Thor • Goody 5000
This Week: Wrap Up All The Ghost Stories! Next Week: Finish Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden Part 4: The Hurricane's Made of Problems
12 mai 2026
02:29:45
Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden Part 4: The Hurricane's Made of Problems Square Roots - Episode 512
Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:09:05 Quest Log: 0:41:10 Level Up: 1:51:50
Even with Matt gone, we somehow went two and a half hours this chunker. Mostly so Vanessa can tell us about her feelings on Alan Wake II. But we're also talking a lot about Banishers! There's some spooky ghost stories, a mine stuffed with a giant Anima from Final Fantasy X, and so much more!
Also: • Half Adventure Game, Half Witcher III • A Crop Top Space Suit Is Not A Great Idea • It's Not An Assumption, It's A Hypothesis • Ghosts Don't Count • Fort Bad Performance
This Week: Go Up To Fort Jericho And Do The Stuff There Next Week: Wrap Up All The Ghost Stories
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden Part 3: Bubsy Says Kid Power!
06 mai 2026
01:40:37
Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden Part 3: Bubsy Says Kid Power! Square Roots - Episode 511
Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:03:05 Quest Log: 0:26:32 Level Up: 1:20:25
I promise I only make an Umjammer Lammy joke one time in this episode, and I think that's called restraint. But in this chunker of Dontnod's Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden we meet the amazingly named flopper haired boy Lamentation Haskell, and yes, he's a Vanessa boyfriend.
Also: • Don't Respect Grogu • I'm Not Into The Benjamin Franklin Type • Hot RFK Junior Burns • Every Game Has To Have An Area That Sucks • A Lady That Looks Like Sonya Blade
This Week: Complete Witchfinders, The Inkwell and Grief & Rancor Next Week: Go Up To Fort Jericho And Do The Stuff There
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden Part 2: Red Is A Great Marksman
28 avr. 2026
02:07:47
Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden Part 2: Red Is A Great Marksman Square Roots - Episode 510
Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:04:46 Quest Log: 0:21:40 Level Up: 1:42:20
We're continuing to bust some ghosts, but also power up some ghosts, in this chunker of Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden. We get to meet so many interesting and fun new people, and maybe baby bird out their life juices, or send their ghost bully to heaven. And there's Sissy Spacek! Except it's not.
Also: • Johnnies Be Workin' • You Can Play Legend of Dragoon On Your Normal Big Boy System • Does the hit still hit if you miss the button time?? • Touching Cheek Means Gay • Some Good Trekking
This Week: The End of the Swamp Witch Chapter and Go to the Harrows Next Week: Complete Witchfinders, The Inkwell and Grief & Rancor
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden Part 1: In 2030, Mickey Could Definitely Shoot You
20 avr. 2026
02:33:13
Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden Part 1: In 2030, Mickey Could Definitely Shoot You Square Roots - Episode 509
Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:03:00 Quest Log: 0:23:15 Level Up: 2:06:45
Get ready to get back to pilgrim times in a Magical 1695! But! But! With ghosts! This week on Square Roots, we start Don'tnod's sleeper hit Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden, and get deep into this world of witchcraft, ghostery, and the split between the worlds of the living and the dead.
Also: • Matt Says These People Are Disgusting • Vanessa Tries to Set Up Matthew With Thick Skin • PARRY THE PLATAPUS?! • And Featuring Jonathan Brandis as Link • Bowls of Delicious Frosting
This Week: We reach the Hunter's Camp in Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden Next Week: The End of the Swamp Witch Chapter (Go to the Harrows)
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening Part 4 - Egg
13 avr. 2026
02:02:06
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening Part 4 - Egg Square Roots - Episode 508
Hot Gaming Gossip: 0:07:29 Quest Log: 0:34:00 Level Up: 2:02:00
Everyone prefers Luigi to Mario, right? We identify with the failure, being the lesser brother. Luigi's greatness is that he's relatable. Mario? Boring. But we're not talking about that Nintendo game, we're talking about Link's Awakening, and it's time to wake up! Dress up in your best Mr. B Natural gear, and get ready!
Also: • Close Enough to Baby Bird Style • Hot Sandwich Corner • Does Lava Look Delicious? • Goombas Keep Falling On My Head • Whales Don't Have Wings
This Week: We finish the game! Next Week: We reach the Hunter's Camp in Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening Part 3 - Would Will Wright or Sid Meier Win In A Fight?
06 avr. 2026
02:00:34
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening Part 3 - Would Will Wright or Sid Meier Win In A Fight? Square Roots - Episode 507
Hot Gaming Goose: 0:07:29 Quest Log: 0:29:54 Level Up: 1:36:45
It turns out that we have the fanciest podcast host in all of podcastdom, as Jim eats his ring pops with a knife and fork. The rest of us, we drool over our fingers as we're supposed to. Also we play the penultimate chunker of Nintendo's Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening.
Also: • Shillbilly Smellegy • The Best Kids Movies • DX Stands for Dicks • Frog Jump, Frog Tongue • Noods Aren't Pasta This Week: Complete the Face Shrine and Eagle's Tower! Next Week: We finish the game!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening Part 2 - Designated Spider Holes
30 mars 2026
02:36:51
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening Part 2 - Designated Spider Holes Square Roots - Episode 506
Hot Gaming Goose: 0:06:20 Quest Log: 0:34:20 Level Up: 1:56:50
No animal crackers in my soup, no lions and tigers loop-de-loop in this thorough anti Best of Shirley Temple episode of the Square Roots podcast. Things get aquatic as we play the Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening, and do both the Catfish Maw and Angler's Temple, as well as finding a home for a ghost and listening to Marin telling us about seagulls.
Also: • 99 Zoblems • A Sex Dream Nightmare • That's the Ooze of Life, My Friends • Let's Call It a Fern • Les Ananas Ne Volent Pas
This Week: We complete Catfish's Maw dungeon! Next Week: Complete the Face Shrine and Eagle's Tower!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening Part 1 - PS3 Twink and PS3 Bear
23 mars 2026
02:39:22
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening Part 1 - PS3 Twink and PS3 Bear Square Roots - Episode 505
Hot Gaming Goose: 0:03:30 Quest Log: 0:39:00 Level Up: 2:17:15
Starting off our year of All Bangers No Wangers for real, we've got Link's Awakening! It's a vote winner, as chosen by our audience, and we're all getting into Nintendo's classic adventure. Just don't listen to certain hosts when they say the Gameboy is for babies.
Also: • Worm him! • Matt is obsessed with the colour dungeon • A Bigger, Hotter Pig Man • Grandma Yahoo Is Down to Clown • Pot Mogged
This Week: We complete the Key Cavern in The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening! (Your choice on version!) Next Week: We complete Catfish's Maw dungeon!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Mass Effect: Andromeda Part 8 - Scoopin' 'Em Up Like Caviar
16 mars 2026
02:14:08
Mass Effect: Andromeda Part 8 - Scoopin' 'Em Up Like Caviar Square Roots - Episode 504
Hot Gaming Goose: 0:02:44 Quest Log: 0:26:22 Level Up: 1:55:10
You know, it's not usually Vanessa who says the drink-spitting-out most vile thing you've heard on the podcast, but sometimes it is, and treasure these moments. On this fertile episode of Square Roots Podcast we finish Mass Effect Andromeda, and encounter Vanessa's very favourite thing in video games: a hallway full of people telling you how great you are.
Also: • You Can't Just Rush Into Vampire: The Masquerade: Bloodlines 2 • Evil Vanessa Bones Two Space Sluts • His Cool Temu Star Lamp • Go Downtown and Eat It Like A Vulture
This Week: We finish the game AND Liam's Special Quest! Again! LOAD YOUR SAVE AND PLAY IT AGAIN! Next Week: We complete the Key Cavern in The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening! (Your choice on version!)
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Mass Effect: Andromeda Part 7 - How to Pronounce Yggdrasil
09 mars 2026
02:17:58
Mass Effect: Andromeda Part 7 - How to Pronounce Yggdrasil Square Roots - Episode 503
Hot Gaming Goose: 0:02:55 Quest Log: 0:31:00 Level Up: 1:42:34
Who's to say whether or not trees can grow in space? Only Yggdrasil can. This time on Mass Effect: Andromeda, we have some exciting upside down space ship times! And we get face to face with the big baddie! It's all very dramatic.
Also: • There are NO Proxy Honks in Hot Gaming Goose • Sabotage! • Sloppy Toppy • 3 Fiends at the SAME TIME • We All Hit Sweet Ramps
This Week: The last planet, the archon's ship AND Liam's Special Quest! Next Week: We finish the game AND Liam's Special Quest! Again! LOAD YOUR SAVE AND PLAY IT AGAIN!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Mass Effect: Andromeda Part 6 - Phil Spencer got JobMogged by Asha Sharma
02 mars 2026
02:06:09
Mass Effect: Andromeda Part 6 - Phil Spencer got JobMogged by Asha Sharma Square Roots - Episode 502
Hot Gaming Goose: 0:03:20 Quest Log: 0:38:40 Level Up: 1:44:45
That's right, he should have been out there skillsmaxxing but that opportunity has been... yeeted? Look, I hate to say this, but I'm 46 and I don't know what any of this means. Johnny finally wraps up Evil Vanessa's story with Reyes, which doesn't quite end with the "consider this a breakup" moment he was hoping for in this chunker of Mass Effect: Andromeda.
Also: • All The Mortal Kombat Ice Skating News • Ladies Before Maybes • Brain Freezer Burn • Jorgul Strux • A Batman Coded Dangle
This Week: Do all the things on Eladaan! Next Week: The last planet, the archon's ship AND Liam's Special Quest!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Mass Effect: Andromeda Part 5 - No One Wants the Splatter-Waggies
23 févr. 2026
02:25:00
Mass Effect: Andromeda Part 5 - No One Wants the Splatter-Waggies Square Roots - Episode 501
Hot Gaming Goose: 0:02:50 Quest Log: 0:38:40 Level Up: 2:03:55
Siri; is Reyes Elf Slut? This and so many more important facts about Mass Effect: Andromeda are revealed in this exciting installment of the Square Roots Podcast!
Also: • I've Seen What Makes You People Clap • A Genoshian Taskmaster Would Be Awesome (No Psychics Allowed) • It's a Fun Button • Sarissa Explains It All • Lawn Mower Man Syndrome
This Week: Wrap up Kedara and establish a colony! Next Week: Eledaan AND Liam's Special Quest!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
We break our usual format to celebrate 500 episodes! There's user questions, a game of MURRRRRDLE, Jim's Airing of Grievances, Metacritical Response, and introspective retrospection!
This Week: Listen to our amazing Square Roots Podcast Episode 500! Next Week: Finish Kanara Port!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Mass Effect: Andromeda Part 4 - Space Docking Square Roots - Episode 499
Hot Gaming Goose: 0:02:35 Quest Log: 0:31:40 Level Up: 1:57:30
What if the whole of Mass Effect: Andromeda was about solving space crimes? Wouldn't that be cool? Let's pitch it right now: cozy mystery game, but it's about salarians and elcor and it's set on the Citadel.
Also: • It's Okay To Be Wrong On Accident • What a Prank • Vanessa Doesn't Love True Crime • Milkin' Milken • The Definition of Ejaculate • Jim's Nip Slip • A No Strings Bang
This Week: Do some loyalty and side quests! Next Week: Kedaara planet stuff! And maybe Eledaan or not guess we're doing sidequests??
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Mass Effect: Andromeda Part 3 - The Princess Protocol
02 févr. 2026
02:27:28
Mass Effect: Andromeda Part 3 - The Princess Protocol Square Roots - Episode 498
Quest Log: 0:04:00 Level Up: 1:57:00
We finally lock onto our surefire hit Netflix romantic comedy, The Princess Protocol. It's got comedy! Dancing! Intrigue! Getting hit on the head by a coconut! Also we keep playing Mass Effect: Andromeda.
Also: • The Present of Watching Me Hold This Snorlax • The Hot Hot Fishman • A Very Dusky Planet • Too Many Points! • It's My Vindication Song Now!
This Week: Finish the Mission "Trail of Hope" Next Week: Do some loyalty and side quests!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Mass Effect: Andromeda Part 2 - Fable Three King Time Second Half
26 janv. 2026
02:40:14
Mass Effect: Andromeda Part 2 - Fable Three King Time Second Half Square Roots - Episode 497
Quest Log: 0:05:15 Level Up: 2:05:30
I keep hearing Vanessa say "cat" every time she says "Kett" in this action-packed, different timeline navigating BioWare adventure game, Mass Effect: Andromeda. Johnny loves the bouncy car. Jim disappears like a spooky ghost. Matt is bad at sudoku. Vanessa probably wants to marry the AI in her brain.
Also: • Quit Putting Jared Leto in Movies * A Beanie and a Henley * Matt Establishes Masculinity Rules * Don't Ask About Matt's Poop-ons * You Can Blow Up A Library And I'd Know Who George Washington Is
This Week: "Johnny, for notes say we'll play some of trail of hope, not all of it. I haven't pinpointed yet. But I there's a point when you can choose which planet to go to first, I went to Vold. So maybe we'll play Vold." Next Week: Finish the Mission "Trail of Hope"
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Mass Effect: Andromeda Part 1 - Michael Rappaport's Crap Report
19 janv. 2026
02:31:28
Mass Effect: Andromeda Part 1 - Michael Rappaport's Crap Report Square Roots - Episode 496
Quest Log: 0:37:03 Level Up: 1:44:10
We're playing Mass Effect: Andromeda by BioWare for this year's BioWarey! So let's meet new friends! Explore new planets! And avoid having to recognize any of the four endings of Mass Effect Three!
Also: • We Discuss What Games Are BioWare Games For Five Minutes * Jim Banks Hates Chris Isaak * The Adventures of Young Sheev * You Likka The Bigga Breasts * Touch Dadddy's Special Rock * TOO FAT FOR SPACE
This Week: Play Mass Effect: Andromeda until you head to the mysterious planet of Eos! Next Week: "Johnny, for notes say we'll play some of trail of hope, not all of it. I haven't pinpointed yet. But I there's a point when you can choose which planet to go to first, I went to Vold. So maybe we'll play Vold."
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 6 - Hot Goth Peach
12 janv. 2026
02:06:48
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 6 - Hot Goth Peach Square Roots - Episode 495
Quest Log: 0:40:45 Level Up: 1:44:10
Finally the game has someone for Matt, and it's Hot Goth Peach. She gets a real Legend makeover and turns all dark and pale and evil and even decapitates someone! This is a very weird Mario game.
Also: • Matt Raw Dogs New Shirts • Cyclops Earns Scott Points • The Digital One Has No Hole • Great Vanessa Representation • Partial Professor Betrayal
This Week: Finish the game! Next Week: We're playing Mass Effect: Andromeda! Play until you establish the first outpost.
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 5 - A Sticky, Yummy Accident
05 janv. 2026
02:17:55
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 5 - A Sticky, Yummy Accident Square Roots - Episode 494
Quest Log: 0:30:30 Level Up: 1:44:30
We solve some train mysteries and rewrite train histories on this exciting episode of Square Roots! Mario can get bad ended as a ghost, so this is a pretty great chunker just by default. If the moon is for boys, then why is Peach there?
Also: * Jim Accidentally Posts Pornography * Vanessa Is Racist Against Goombas * What Makes You Think This Toad Is A Sex Worker? * Matt Has Been Attracted To A Lot Of Characters In This Game * Toilet Games
This Week: Finish Chapter 6 and 7! Next Week: Finish the game!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 4 - Boat/Unboat
22 déc. 2025
01:56:49
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 4 - Boat/Unboat Square Roots - Episode 493
Quest Log: 0:30:22 Level Up: 1:29:20
The gang takes Mario a-treasure huntin' in this week's episode of Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door. We meet a new bomb friend, beat up a ghost skull, and get involved in more Plant People Crime Family Drama. We also meet Flavio, a rich character who has lived a whole life yet cannot achieve personhood due to the arbritrary constraints placed on him by Vanessa's narrow view of what a person should be.
Also:
Game awards chat and Street Fighter goss
Flavio is not a person and doesn't deserve our respect
Vanessa wants to see a big Peach
Heavy Rain more like heavy number of showers
Jim, Matt, and Vanessa listen to John get lost in his old man memories of an old Nintendo thing
Matt blurs the lines between constructive and destructive criticism after he becomes the voice in all our heads
Billy Ray hates Johnny Brandon
This Week: Finish Chapter 5! Next Week: Finish Chapter 7!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
The Square Roots Game of the Year Extravaganza Square Roots - Episode 492
We ignore the idea that 2016 is ten years ago as we get to the end of 2025 and talk about the game of the year from the games we played for the podcast this year (from the main show) as well as our own 2025 game of the year choice!
* Good Queen Vanessascles * Huey Lewis and Other Hot Impressions and References * Hot Guests Like Miss Piggy, George Lucas, Florence and the Machine and MORE! * RACHEL SLURS IS NOT INVITED
This Week: Listen to our amazing Game of the Year episode! Next Week: Finish Chapter 5 and all Rogueport Nonsense!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 3 - RAWK HAWK!
08 déc. 2025
01:41:18
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 3 - RAWK HAWK! Square Roots - Episode 491
Quest Log: 0:27:30 Level Up: 1:25:30
This week's episode of Square Roots is brought to you by The Glitz Pit, just off I-275 at Hillsborough Avenue. Bring your Switch, play some of Nintendo's beloved Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door along with Jim, Matthew, Vanessa and Johnny, and enjoy the jugs, mugs, suds and spuds as well as the best wings this side of Jacksonville! Don't worry if the glitter gets in your food, it's edible!
Also: * Rahul Kohli is Waiting in a Statue in the Desert * I Just Learned About this Marky Plier * Vanessa is Granny Rags * Yangus is Not From Dragon Quest VII * Middle Aged Nebraskan Sorea * Hooktail's Fetish Stuff
This Week: Finish Chapter 4! Next Week: Finish Chapter 5 and do the post chapter Rogueport nonsense!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 2 - Something For Everyone to Get Upset About
01 déc. 2025
02:15:38
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 2 - Something For Everyone to Get Upset About - Episode 490
This week we keep on keepin' on with Paper Mario. Did we finish Chapters 2 and 3 like we said we would? No. Will we do two chapters next ep? I don't have a lot of faith that we will, TBH, but we're gonna try.
Also:
Madam Flurrie doesn't have nipples
Matt to Johnny and Vanessa: UGH.
Punies commit genocide
and more!
This Week: Finish Chapter 2! Next Week: Finish Chapters 3 and 4!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Would You Eat This Bird Twenty Twenty Five Square Roots - Thanksgiving Special
Quest Log: 0:02:00 Level Up: 1:06:00
We're not doing a real episode this week, we're doing a Thanksgiving Funebration! And going through the hottest birds of 2025, or at least from games we played in 2025. Probably. Johnny did a really great job running this game and there were no errors. Please comment exactly that previous statement at Vanessa, Jim and Matthew.
This Week: Have a great American Thanksgiving! Next Week: Finish Chapter 3!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 1 - Sniff Her Feet
17 nov. 2025
02:10:35
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door Part 1 - Sniff Her Feet Square Roots - Episode 489
Quest Log: 0:31:00 Level Up: 1:43:54
Even with a lack of cheevos we still dive into Nintendo's Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door! We're all playing on Switch, but no matter if you're on that or Gamecube you can certainly play along. Just be prepared for Horny Nintendo.
Also: * A Game For Babies With Good Attention Spans * We Complain About One Drive Like A Couple of Boomers * Why Are We Talking Like This * Bowser Is A Job Creator * Is Matt Goombing Right Now * Hooktail's Fetish Stuff
This Week: Defeat Hooktail in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door! Next Week: Finish Chapter 3!
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven
South of Midnight Part 3: ROUX WAS AHMED BEST?! Square Roots - Episode 488
Quest Log: 0:16:57 Level Up: 1:12:28
Somehow, throughout this series, Jim, Matt and Vanessa never mentioned that the character Roux from Compulsion Games was played by Jar-Jar Binks, everyone's favourite Star Wars character. Or his actor, anyway, Ahmed Best.
Also: * Matt and Jim Don't Know Where the Rockstar Headquarters Are * Jim's Famous Matt Character * A Scardey-Cat Fish * Back to the Future is a Christmas Movie * Onlyh Vanessa Knows the Facts of Life Theme
This Week: Finish the game! Next Week: Defeat Hooktail in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door
Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome theme! You can find him at: https://bsky.app/profile/stevenmorrismusic.bsky.social and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven