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TOPIC
This week we are discussing our REWIND episode - “Find Peace In Singleness”

PAIN POINT
If you are single parent, more than likely, you didn't choose to be a single parent, and if for some reason you did choose to be a single parent it doesn't disqualify you from this being an inappropriate topic. Being single can be lonely, it could be tough. Is there a way to come to a place of having peace in your singleness even though you have a desire to share your life with someone… today we're gonna discuss that. We are looking forward to revisiting this episode.

MAIN POINTS
Today, we discuss why Robert chose this episode as his favorite for 2024.

LINK TO SHOWNOTES
For all the detailed show notes, tips and links click - https://soloparent.org/show-notes-blog

ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast!

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TOPIC
This week we’re discussing our REWIND episode: Using Loneliness to Your Advantage

PAIN POINT
If there is one word to describe single parenting, it’s “loneliness.” We are reminded throughout the day—in big and small ways—that we don’t have a partner for companionship. Loneliness hits when we miss our kids if we’re co-parenting. And we’re always keenly aware there’s not someone to share the responsibilities, experiences, decision making, and mental load with; no one to laugh (or cry) with after the kids go to bed. This is a deeply-felt need of single parents, particularly around the holidays, so we’re so excited to revisit this episode.

MAIN POINT
Today, we discuss why Amber Fuller chose this episode as her favorite for 2024.

LINK TO SHOWNOTES
For all the detailed show notes, tips and links click - https://soloparent.org/show-notes-blog

ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast!

To receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book click - https://soloparent.org/welcome-toolkit

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Discover the way ahead at Indiana Wesleyan University. Learn more here.

TOPIC & GUEST
This week we’re discussing “Becoming Mama-Dad” with Marissa Lee.

PAIN POINT
There are many single parents who don’t have a co-parent involved in the lives of their kids. That means one parent needs to take on two very important roles. Today we’re talking about balancing the enormous roles of mom and dad as a single parent, and we’re so excited to discuss the book “Becoming Mama-Dad: How God Fathers Through Single Mothers” written by our very own Solo Parent contributor, Marissa Lee. In her book, she tackles the very big question of: How does one balance taking on the role of both a mother and a father?

GUEST BIO
Following marital strife and the shocking death of her husband, Marissa Lee suddenly found herself a single mother to her two sons, aged 10 and 8 at the time. Overwhelmed by her new role and plagued by a sense of inadequacy, she wrote this book about her journey guiding her boys into manhood. Marissa has a day job in finance leadership for a healthcare organization and lives in Franklin, TN with her two dogs, two sons, and second husband.

FOR MORE INFORMATION OR TO PURCHASE “Becoming Mama-Dad”
Click Here!

LINK TO SHOW NOTES
For all the detailed show notes, tips and links click - https://soloparent.org/show-notes-blog

ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast!

To receive a free SPS Welcome Toolkit with links to groups, info and a free book click - https://soloparent.org/welcome-toolkit

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Let’s face it, every one of us… And we mean every. single. one. of us struggles with overreacting. Not everybody sees it and often our kids get the short end of the stick with our overreaction. We can fly off the handle with family members, driving, work, this list is extensive. So many of us walk around with our fingers on the trigger of overreaction, and the smallest things cause us to react contrary to what we know is right… or even what we have planned. And frankly, with so much of the burden on us… raising our kids, and keeping our family safe and marginally happy, it’s no wonder that our emotions are close to the surface. The double whammy of this is it once we do overreact, we feel awful and guilty, and that turns into shame and can create its own spiral, which prompts even more overreaction from time to time. 

So as we start this new year and we look for things that we can do differently. How do we address our overreactions and move into a more balanced and stable response to the things happening around us?

For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org

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It’s so true that after becoming a Solo Parent, the dynamics of our friendships and relationships, as well as any romantic connection, can seem to evaporate. In this new year, as we take inventory of the things in our past and we look toward the future, we know how important relationships are, especially in a season that can be so lonely. But where do we meet people? Where do we start? For some of us, we have felt relational rejection, and our trust has been betrayed or, at the very least, damaged. Relationships can feel so awkward, and frankly, it’s hard to think of having the energy or the courage to put ourselves out there again. Yet, we all know that we need relationships more than ever, so as we look at this new year and the idea of all things new, how do we sort through relationships both old and new… both friendships and maybe even romantic… realizing we are in a different place than we use to be. 

For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org

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As single parents, we can feel stuck in the past hurt we have encountered. Many of us feel stuck replaying the mistakes we’ve made, and some don’t like thinking about our past because it can be too painful or shame us. We know that to move forward we need to deal with some of the things that have happened to us... or maybe even the challenges created by us, in our past... but how exactly do we do that? Are there practical steps we can take to avoid repeating some of the same patterns? 

This week we have a special guest with us today, Emotional and Spiritual wellness coach Jeromy Deibler to talk about All Things New: The Way Forward.

For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org

To be notified when our ‘The way forward’ course is being offered with Jeromy Deibler, email info@SoloParent.org and give us your name and put ‘INTERESTED IN THE WAY FORWARD COURSE’ in the subject line.

To get more information on Jeromy and his work visit www.returnandrest.org

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The magic of Christmas is gone. The decorations have to be pulled down and we’ve got bills to pay to cover another Christmas season. We are on the brink of a brand new year, which can feel daunting for some of us. For many of us, our situation hasn’t changed, and although New Year’s day symbolizes a new beginning, a new year… So many things feel the same. The reality of our situation can make looking at a new year almost an exhausting and depressing event. But, like we say every week on this podcast, we always want to end in a place of hope. So for those of us not walking into a new year naturally feeling a sense of hope, what can we do to ground ourselves with a foundation of hope walking into the new year? 

For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org

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As we’ve been talking about this month, the holiday season can heighten all single parents' lonely and painful feelings. The magic that we used to experience, especially when our kids were young and we had an intact family, is now a thing of the past… and because of some of the pain, we can become cynical and feel like we’re stuck in the pain. Some of us can even slip into a sense of bitterness, comparing our lives to others and even the way we used to be. We do our best to try to put on a happy face going into the holidays for the sake of our kids, which often is in stark contrast to what we are feeling inside. So how do we regain a sense of magic and wonder when so much of what we identify about the holidays, reminds us of the pain and dashed hopes we have experienced?

For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org

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The holidays can be one of solo parents' loneliest times of the year. Some of us miss being with our kids because they’re with the other parent for part of the holidays. Deciding what to get the kids, planning, and shopping on our own can cause a heightened sense of loneliness. Sometimes it feels like the whole world is going on in this magical place and we’re left on the sidelines just looking in at what we used to have. Home alone is a very accurate description of what many of us feel, alone in an empty house that used to be filled with Christmas magic. Today we have some key points that can really help.

For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org

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Is Christmas the most wonderful time of the year? Really? For many of us solos, it is often one of the most challenging times of the year, if we’re honest. When we first got married, we imagined a beautiful life, an ideal marriage, and perfect holidays. Especially after our kids were born, Christmas took on a new magical meaning. But now all of that is behind us, and our life looks very different. When we get into the holidays, we can be consumed with questions of what if… What if I could’ve kept the marriage together? What if I had a partner now? Sometimes we can even romanticize the memories of what we used to have. The Christmas season brings the hopes and dreams we used to have, back to the surface. When we see all the Christmas ads, and hear the Christmas music, undoubtedly, from time to time, some of those memories pop up, bringing with it a certain ache inside. We do our best to create the magic of Christmas for our kids but for many of us, if we are honest, we are faking it. So it begs the question, what is so wonderful about life? In this episode, we explore this.

For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org

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When the foundation we built for our home and family gets destroyed, whether through a divorce, the death of a spouse, or even the unexpected, life-altering news that you are going to parent alone, it can lead to a real sense of despair. Feelings of failure and unworthiness can permeate our minds. For many of us, it’s a natural stretch to have a sense of worth in brokenness when it feels like all we have are the scraps or pieces of what ‘used to be’… and the exhaustion of trying to keep those pieces together. As we talk about often, it is in these moments that we are closer - or maybe it is better said - God is closer to our brokenheartedness. But how do we actualize a sense of empowerment when we are struggling to just get by?

Our guest today is Toni Collier the founder of an international women’s ministry called Broken Crayons Still Color, which helps women process through brokenness and get to hope. She is a Speaker, Host, and Author of Brave Enough to be Broken.

For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org

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Holidays bring out unique and challenging situations for Solo parents. Having to interact with old relationships from our past, whether interacting with your ex, ex-in-laws, or stepping into our own family, can sometimes heighten our sense of failure and inadequacy. Or maybe it’s being around healthy relationships that remind us, in this vulnerable season, of what we don’t have. Being home for the holidays can impact our self-worth. So as we go into the holiday season, we might ask if it is even worth spending time with family when it just heightens my anxiety and negative feelings. So how do we cope with those family dynamics, or those dynamics with people from our past, and try to maintain a positive outlook not only for our kids, but also for our well-being? Today we will discuss this and identify five tips to approach this holiday season with strength.

For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org

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Mental health has become so much a part of our culture’s narrative these days. As single parents, we certainly are acquainted with feeling traumatized, scattered, and overwhelmed. When we think about our mental health, we are often in a hurry to try to fix a condition, but the core issue is often deeper. We have spent most of our lives abandoning ourselves to keep connected. We were meeting others' expectations and not speaking up for our own wants and needs. If we’re honest with ourselves as we look back, we notice that we have spent most of our lives performing and playing roles and have become out of touch with our own true selves. When we don’t have a good relationship with ourselves and our worth, it can lead to depression, co-dependency, and anxiety because we have lost the true understanding of who we are. So today, we are going to explore what it would look like not to run to change or fix mental health symptoms but instead get to one of the core issues of mental health, and that is our sense of worth, and we have three helpful key points.

For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org

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TOPIC & GUEST
This week we’re discussing FINDING HEALING AFTER BETRAYAL with JILL SAVAGE.

PAIN POINT
There is no easy fix for betrayal. When someone we trust betrays us, our entire world is upended. Betrayal is an earthquake that catastrophically upheaves the foundation of our entire life and leaves us broken and trembling in the aftershock. Suddenly, everything we knew to be true is no longer true, leaving us to question everyone and everything. How do you come back from something like that? Can you find true, restorative, lasting healing after betrayal?

GUEST BIO
Jill Savage is an author and speaker who is passionate about encouraging families. She is the author/co-author of fourteen books focused on motherhood, family, and marriage including No More Perfect Moms, No More Perfect Marriages (with her husband Mark), and her most recent book Empty Nest, Full Life. Jill and Mark lead a ministry which encompasses their speaking, writing, coaching, and marriage ministry so they can encourage, educate, and equip families. They have five children and eight grandchildren and live in Normal, Illinois.

LINK TO SHOW NOTES
For all the detailed show notes, tips and links click - https://soloparent.org/show-notes-blog

ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast!

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As we say goodbye to our co-host Kimberley Mitchell, worth is a very appropriate topic. Where we find our worth is a search we’ve been on since we were little children. The older we get, the more layers we seem to pile on the core of who we are. Those layers might look like achievements, or they might look like failures, a job that we’re doing, what we’re known for… All of those things contribute to who we are, but it’s easy to allow those things to create our sense of worth and identity. For those of us who have been around the church for so long, much of what we have learned is about performing. When part of who you are is being known for being a co-host on a podcast, stepping away can affect a sense of worth. So today, Kim speaks candidly about how stepping away from a sense of contributing or playing a public role can play into our sense of worth. And she reflects on the early days of being a solo mom, and we explore the quest we have been on since childhood, where we find our worth.

For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org

Ask us any question and hear yourself on a future podcast. Leave your question by either pushing the 'talk to us' button on accessmore.com or call 888-881-SOLO (7656). Or email your question to info@SoloParent.org

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The heart-wrenching whirlwind of divorce or the trauma of losing a spouse to death can leave us completely depleted of our identity. Trying to navigate the chaotic and exhausting world of juggling all the demands of raising our kids on our own can leave us at a loss of who we are. Not recognizing who we were, who we are now, and who we are supposed to become can seem elusive while we’re just struggling to get by. So as a part of self-care, how can we begin to reclaim our identity, to discover confidence in who we are and how we fit in this new reality? In this episode, we are going to explore this. ?

Our guest this week is Dr. Dan Allender. For over 30 years, the Allender Theory has brought healing and transformation to hundreds of thousands of lives by bridging the story of the gospel and the stories of trauma and abuse that mark so many. He founded The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology, and The Allender Center and is a best selling author of 9 books. He has counseled and led millions of people towards caring for themselves.

For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org

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Raising our kids on our own is so difficult. With limited resources and time, we can go crazy trying to meet all their needs and keep our kids happy and healthy. So often, we can fall into the trap of overcompensating; because our kids have been through difficult things, we try to make their happiness our top priority. Unfortunately, doing this creates a bottomless well that we can never fill up, leaving us depleted… and not healthy for our kids. So how do we draw appropriate boundaries with our kids that are not only a form of caring for ourselves but also serve their development?

Our guest today is an Instagram sensation with over 780,000 followers, Dr. Siggie. She is a counselor who has been working with families for 30 years.

For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org

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Many of us can feel guilty because we're not sticking to a Bible reading or prayer time in the morning like we used to. When we think about spiritual discipline in our lives, we often go to shame, like we are not a good Christian because we had difficulty having quiet time every morning. Well, this episode isn’t about shame; in fact, today, we’re not going to talk about comparing our quiet time as a measure of what a good Christian we are or if God is happy with the time we are putting in. We are going to explore perhaps a new way of approaching spiritual discipline. What if spiritual discipline goes beyond the intellectual exercise of reading and praying, as many of us have been taught? What if our spiritual discipline wasn’t about fulfilling what God or the Church’s expectation of us are, but was actually a deep soul self-care?

Our guest is Anthony Skinner, a Spiritual Director, Prayer, Meditation, Enneagram practitioner, Music and Podcast Producer, award-winning Songwriter, Recording Artist, and Worship Leader, and cohost of the popular Typology Podcast (over 20 million downloads). He is also the guy behind a devotional and meditation program called “Shamah Way”, which is so appropriate for this topic of spiritual discipline as self care. 

For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org

Shamah way - shamahway.com

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Like we said last week, Self-care is a common buzzword that every single parent has heard. But what does that really mean, and where do we start with it? It seems the cultural narratives are way off base. What the world tells us about self-care is more about self-indulging ourselves because we deserve it, or self-sufficiency. The idea of treating yourself to a spa day, or something nice isn’t wrong in and of itself… but there’s more to self-care than is being advertised. Last week we explored what self-care looks like for us internally - in other words…what we can do for ourselves - things that we have control over 

Today we will focus on the other side of redefining self-care - External self-care, which is what we can do or where we can go outside of ourselves, in other words, external interaction that feeds our soul. 

For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org

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Self-care is a common buzzword that every single parent has heard. We know we need to take care of ourselves so that we have something to give to our kids. Self-care is essential, but as advertised on social media and TV all around us, self-care seems to be more about treating ourselves to special things. It can seem more like numbing or a Band-Aid so that we can ignore our struggles.

But here’s the thing, cultural narratives are way off base. What the world tells us about self-care is more about self-indulging because we deserve it or self-sufficiency. The idea of treating yourself to a spa day, or getting a manicure and pedicure, or even shopping is not necessarily wrong in and of itself… but there’s more to self-care that is being advertised. So for the next two weeks, we’ll do our best to redefine what self-care might look like, breaking it into two sections. In this episode, we explore internal self-care, and next week will dive into external self-care. 

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As single parents, we are very, very acquainted with our shortcomings. It may have been a big indiscretion or mistake that we’ve made in our past, or maybe the day-to-day awareness that we’re not doing everything perfectly. In either case, most of us carry around a low-grade sense of shame a lot of the time. It’s hard to face head-on the fact that we fall short, but a significant part of moving towards health is embracing the good and bad in our lives. In those areas where we see ourselves as failing, having grace, and showing ourselves forgiveness are critical. So how do we do that? How do we face our weakness and show ourselves true grace as we move towards wholeness? 

Brad Schmitt spent 12 years writing a popular celebrity column for a major publication and was an entertainment reporter on TV. During his TV reporter days, Brad was convicted twice in three years for drunken driving. He got fired and went to jail and rehab before recovering from substance abuse in 2010. Since then, he has had a complete life change, leading others on the recovery path and becoming a single father by choice, raising a foster son. In this episode, we discuss what self-forgiveness looks like in his life.

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Why do we have to suffer if God can fix it? 

If God is all-powerful, why does He allow me and my kids to experience all this hurt? Why doesn't He step in? 

It’s a natural thing to be angry with God. To be clear, God is not dependent on us forgiving him, but we know that he wants an authentic relationship with us, so he embraces our hurt, disappointment, and questions… even about Himself. So what do we do with these questions? What do we do with anger towards God?

Our guest is Rick Cua; he was a well-known Christian recording artist, songwriter, ordained minister, and author. Unfortunately, four short months before recording this episode, Rick tragically found his daughter dead. In this episode, we explore how to reconcile what God allows to tragically happen in our lives.

For all the detailed show notes, tips and links visit soloparent.org

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What we are talking about this week is a big issue for so many of us single parents. We want to move towards health and even recognize our part in the toxic relationship we’ve come out of. Yet, despite what we do, our ex (or others) continues to exhibit behaviors and traits that continue to offend and hurt. We recognize that forgiveness benefits us more than anybody else, but how are we supposed to forgive the actions or offenses that just continue to happen? Ongoing hurts bring up new pain and echo old wounds. In this episode, we discuss forgiving repeat offenders and offer four very helpful tips.

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As single parents, we’ve all been hurt. In some way, shape, or form, we have all been the recipient of an offense. Sometimes, our tendency is just to move on, wash our hands of a situation and try to pick up the pieces and move forward. Some of us get stuck on the offense, and as a result, we fall deeper into resentment and start defining ourselves as victims. We can start believing the story we tell ourselves that we are just destined to be taken advantage of, which ends up hurting us more. From a faith perspective, we’ve all heard the narrative of how important it is to forgive. But why is it important? Is forgiveness really necessary when sometimes it feels like the person that caused the offense is not worth our time, effort or grace.

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TOPIC
This week we’re discussing They Won’t Forgive Me…Now What?

PAIN POINT
If forgiveness was an easy thing to do, our lives would be much less complicated. But, forgiveness is hard. It takes work. It’s so much more than a casual “I’m sorry.” When we do take steps toward being forgiven, how do we live in the tension of doing the work and still showing up … even when someone won’t forgive us?

3 MAIN POINTS
Today, we cover three main points:
1) Analyzing the apology
2) Understanding the most hard-to-forgive hurts
3) Taking stock of what you can control

LINK TO SHOWNOTES
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One of the things that plague us, single parents, the most is thinking about the future welfare of our kids. It’s one thing for us to struggle and deal with hard things; it’s an entirely different and heart-wrenching thing to worry about our kids, what happens to them, and their future. So many of our kids have seen relationships go very wrong, even a certain amount of volatility. Many of them internalize what they saw and blame themselves. Some of our kids have experienced the untimely death of one of their parents. In any case, our kids have been subject to traumatic life events, which, as we all know, can negatively impact their future. So how do we best set up our kids to have the courage and confidence to face their own relationships, their own opportunities, their own challenges… if we as parents may not feel confident ourselves? Today we hear some stories about how confidence and courage was built into a little boy raised by a single mom in North Carolina who went on to have a culture-shifting impact on this world. Our guest is George Shinn, who's dad died when he was eight, and he was raised by a single mom on welfare checks and hand-me-down clothes. He struggled in school and was the last person anyone thought would find success in this life. In fact, he finished dead last in his graduating class in high school. He went on to work in a textile mill, a car wash, and as a school janitor. He later attended Evans Business College in North Carolina while working with real estate and at car dealerships. Upon graduating, he raised enough money to buy the school and even other small colleges and consolidate them all under an umbrella Education System. He eventually sold the schools and bought an NBA basketball team, Charlotte Hornets, with the proceeds. He then went on to start the George Shinn foundation, which offers the love of Christ and the hope of the Gospel to hurting people. All of this against-all-odds story is rooted in a single mom's care. 

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All of us have been very acquainted with feeling broken, wounded, and defeated. With those realities, it’s hard to believe we can find courage. Many of us have gone to the church for help and as a refuge; unfortunately, some of us have found ourselves feeling marginalized from the very place we needed to feel uplifted. So, many of us felt that we don’t know if we have what it takes to be brave enough to keep going or believe there is much hope. So what do we do with that desperate desire for courage when we feel so defeated, wounded and broken?

Our guest is a trauma informed therapist and author who’s latest book is called "The Lord is My Courage: Stepping Through the Shadows of Fear Toward the Voice of Love" KJ RAMSEY talks about Courage for the Broken, Wounded and Defeated

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One of the things we hear more than anything else at Solo Parent is how so many of us deal with codependency. In one way or another, we've lost ourselves, our identity, our purpose, and our voice because we have revolved our world around making someone else happy to make us feel whole. There are a lot of things that we could talk about related to courage, but maybe nothing more critical than establishing how to have courage as a codependent to discover wholeness again, so that we can have our own voice and identity moving forward.

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It hurts to watch our kids face challenges and endure pain knowing some of the things we can’t fix, control, or even help them with. We feel like a bad parent if we can’t fix it or make it better. Most of us would rather take on their pain - but we can’t. So when our kids face hard things or things that hurt them, we often overcompensate, doing our best to lessen the blow, not helping them build the courage to face challenges for themselves. So how do we help them have the courage to deal with, or accept things, that hurt and are challenging when it feels counterintuitive to us wanting to protect them.

Fortunately for all of us, Dr. Chipp Dodd is here to guide us through How to help our kids accept things they cannot change.

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What do we do when we find our lives in a situation we never wished for or wanted? Betrayal, illness, death, our kids experiencing pain - or maybe we are the ones who have betrayed or caused hurt to others. When the reality we face is less than optimal, sometimes downright uncomfortable and challenging, our natural tendency is to fight and try to change things, which is not necessarily bad. But sometimes those painful things can't be changed, or we can’t control them. In those cases, what is my responsibility and what is not? The serenity prayer says, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change." COURAGE to change the things I can… So today, we are flipping that a bit and asking - how do I have the COURAGE to face the things I cannot change in order to find serenity.

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Let’s face it, as single parents, and we are all carrying relational baggage and unhealthy habits around that we can pass on to our kids. Many of us have, unfortunately, modeled what unhealthy, toxic relationships look like with our exes. And sometimes, even after divorce from toxic situations, we continue in our unhealthy beliefs and approaches to relationships. If we have lost a spouse to death, that trauma may keep us avoiding risking relationships again, or maybe we foster relationships built just on loneliness… Whatever the case, we want the best for our kids… We don’t want them to have to go through the relational struggles that we have. Here’s the thing, if we don’t teach them healthy relationship skills, they will and are learning about relationships from somewhere else… movies, friends, social media…Our kids are always watching, curious, and wondering… so how can we teach them healthy relationship skills when we doubt our abilities to be in healthy relationships. 

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We hear from many Solo parents that they have come out of toxic, emotionally and physically abusive relationships. Unfortunately, it seems to be a rampant story in our community. Narcissism and overly controlling partners are a widespread issue that arises. Being that we are parents, albeit divorced, we still have to deal with the same people that were so toxic, and we will have to continue dealing with them for the rest of our kids' lives. So how do we heal from abusive relationships and navigate maintaining healthy boundaries with those overly controlling people in our lives? 

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As single parents were juggling a lot of balls in the air at the same time… Inevitably, we drop one or two. Most of the time, the proverbial ball we drop is the one with ‘me’ written on it. We put ourselves last; we don’t value ourselves enough. We tend to feel selfish in making ourselves a priority when we have so many responsibilities. So how do we move ourselves up the totem pole, so to speak? I think we all know that unless we care well for ourselves, we can’t care well for other people. So what can we do to nurture ourselves without adding more stress and ‘to dos’ to our already full list of responsibilities?

Our guest, Whitney English, is the author of a new book called “A More Beautiful Life: A Simple Five-Step Approach to Living Balanced Goals with HEART”. Her work has been featured in O magazine, The Wall Street Journal and on the Today show.

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So many of us could accurately state, “I thought I knew them…” We have all been hurt; we’ve all been betrayed in some way, shape, or form. As we move through a Solo Parent life in this modern age, it’s hard to know who to trust. Some people present really well and even act like they’re here to help and protect… but sometimes, it turns out, there were different motivations or deeper issues that don’t show in the beginning. So how do we recognize safe people after experiencing hurt, rejection and abandonment? We can become so full of fear relationally that we end up feeling like just giving up, OR we lower our standards to the extent that we continue making destructive decisions. So today, we are going to discuss Who Should We Trust?

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We all have heard the saying ‘we can’t give what we don’t have'. So we can feel stuck in this difficulty of knowing that we don’t have our own sense of peace… so how can we help instill that in our kids. As we often say, it’s one thing to deal with struggles ourselves; it’s an entirely different thing, a heart-wrenching thing to watch our kids struggle. Any single parent wants their child, or children, to have a sense of certainty, to have a sense of peace even in the midst of less than optimal situations. So how do we help our kids find that sense of peace and avoid the emotional instability that so many of us suffer from ourselves?

Fortunately for us Dr. Chip Dodd is here to guide us. Chip has been so foundational to so much of what we do here. For 30 years, he has poured his life into serving others through counseling, speaking, and writing best-selling books like 'The Voice of the Heart.' The bedrock of what he does is helping us discover ourselves and live fully in relationship with others and, ultimately, with God.

GET CHIP’S NEW KIDS BOOK - How Are You Feeling Today?

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TOPIC
This week we’re discussing Benefits of The Relationship Between Justice and Forgiveness

PAIN POINT
We know we’re supposed to love one another. But, does that mean we just ignore how others hurt us and we continue experiencing pain? Many of us may think if we forgive, then we are not supposed to seek justice—in other words, forgive and forget. But what does it look like to forgive and seek justice simultaneously?

3 MAIN POINTS
Today, we cover three main points:
1) Forgiveness and a desire for justice can co-exist
2) What forgiveness is not
3) Ways to pursue justice

LINK TO SHOWNOTES
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As single parents, we tend to let our peace be drained out of us by other people, lies, society, and comparison, and we end up feeling disempowered or victims. So often, we let unsafe people have access to our identity, self-worth, self-esteem and how we feel about ourselves… in that sense, we are leaking our sense of peace everywhere. So how do we get to a healthy place of protecting the peace that we can experience in being enough, God empowered, and beloved? How can we move forward empowered with a sense of our God identity and have peace with where we’re at.

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As single parents, we all have direct and extended parenting relationships and will for the rest of our kid's lives. Often those relationships are strained and even volatile. For example, things can escalate very quickly if we’re divorced and it’s an ongoing contentious situation. Then there are the ex-in-laws that have very strong opinions about how their grandkids should be raised and can tend, at times, to overreach. Finally, for those that haven’t been married, there’s the other parent that has certain rights to be in our child’s lives, but from our perspective, it is less than optimal for our kids. In all these cases, how do we bring peace to the situation? We know nothing will ever be perfect, but how can we be the ones to bring peace and the stability that it fosters?

Today we have Tammy Daughtry back in the studio with us. She is a leading expert in co-parenting issues and author of the book “Co-parenting works”, she is also the creator of an outstanding program "One heart, Two homes,” and she and her husband Jay run a great organization called Center for Modern Family Dynamics here in Nashville. Also, both she and her husband were single parents before meeting each other - so they know firsthand what we walkthrough.

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As single parents, there are so many aspects of our life that are entirely out of control. In fact, for those of us that have been divorced, divorce in and of itself is a way of taking control of the situation/relationship that was toxic or out of control. We choose control to escape uncertainty, defend against pain, and keep ourselves from feeling afraid. We see control as a way to bring peace, but it actually leads us in the opposite direction. Control is a counterfeit to peace; control actually destroys peace. When we are in the midst of pain or struggle, we don’t want to wait for it to subside; we want to get to the other side of that pain and struggle. We tend to want to take the reins of control and get out of discomfort as fast as possible to have a sense of peace finally. If only I could find a mate… If only I had more money… If only my kids would stop acting out… That’s all a natural reaction. But that control never brings lasting peace. That kind of control is an illusion of peace. So how do we let go of the illusion of control when it feels so counterintuitive while we are hurting, confused and disillusioned.

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Single Parents, we have experienced so much hurt and disappointment, and the list goes on, that we can be too afraid to hope. We want to grow in this season, but often it feels like the best days are behind us. Rarely do we think of celebration as a means to grow… because frankly, it feels like there is so little to celebrate… and day in day out, the best we can do is just to get by… So how can we approach life with an expectant heart and courage to trust God’s good gifts again?  

Our guest, Nicole Zasowski is a licensed marriage and family therapist and the author of a new book called What if It’s Wonderful. Today, we discuss The Growth Tool You’re Not Considering: Celebration 

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On this podcast, we talk a lot about what we can do to grow in our lives. Whether that be physically growing stronger, emotionally growing stronger, spiritually growing stronger, or even relationally growing stronger… inevitably, all of us at one time or another, get impeded by things that come up in our life. Some things are within our control, and some things are not. 

How do we address those things in our life that hinder our growth, keep us stuck, or even have us moving backward toward bad habits or destructive behaviors? 

Well, it starts with identifying what those things are - So today, we’re going to walk through ways to identify things that hinder our growth so that we can be aware of them, avoid them, or in some cases, directly confront them.

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For many of us single parents, the solo season can be like a season in the wilderness. Feeling like we’ve lost our way, we’ve lost our direction. And from day to day, feeling unseen and like there’s a little hope. We also know and have seen as a ministry that this can be one of the most transformational times for us spiritually. But it’s hard to ignore the feeling that so many of us have of just being stuck in so many ways, including spiritually.
So how do we move from just walking day-to-day through this wilderness to unleashing the most important, transformational spiritual growth that we have encountered in our life. Because that is precisely what can happen, God changes us in struggle.
Today we have a special guest, Kristi Mclelland, a professor, a biblical culturalist, an author, and now a host of an incredible podcast here on AccessMore called Pearls. She has a Master's Degree in Christian Education from Dallas Theological Seminary and has dedicated her life to teaching people how to study the Bible. So, we are excited to get into this conversation about unleashing your spiritual growth.

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One of the things that we hear about often is just how lonely the solo parent life can be and how we don’t know who to trust. Often, the people we were close to when we were married no longer understand the life of a solo parent, and it can be tiresome to try to explain our point of view all the time… so a tendency can be to isolate. Many of us are so tired of explaining our situation, so worn out on sharing / revisiting the hurt that we don’t reach out for help. 

When faced with tedious day-to-day struggles and the big things that come up, figuring out the road forward without the benefit of a sounding board in your life can be extremely challenging. We know that growth requires people, mentors, and guides in any area of life, but where do we look for mentors? Where do we find trusted people that can understand our story and help us grow? ALSO, how can we become that safe place for others to go to? So today, we discuss Personal Growth as a team sport.

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Every week we talk about the transformation that can happen in our lives during the solo season, the growth that we can experience, and how we can overcome all that we’ve lost. So as we start this month focusing on Growth, we want to start with a clear understanding of what that actually means. 

What is healthy growth, how do we measure it, how do we do it, and where do we start? We talk all the time about deliberate steps that we can take to grow as an individual and to grow as a parent. So what are some fundamental steps that we can put in place to grow, not in spite of but because of, the Solo season? Today we are going to start this new month by discussing the fundamentals of HEALTHY GROWTH 101. 

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Stability is often equated with predictability and a sense of control. Many of us single parents have neither. We struggle to find a sense of stability by correcting what seem to be deficits. We can feel lost when things are out of our control and then more defeated as we continue on in the struggle. But what if you can actually experience stability in something that is not tangible or physical? What if finding stability is less about assurance and more about possibility and contribution? Today we discover how finding something to believe in - to move towards - what we want our lives to be about creates a sense of stability. Because stability is not all about comfort, we can find purpose, bringing stability amid the transforming struggle. Just like working out, the resistance is building real strength. You are stronger and more stable than you think! 

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Single parents deal with so much emotional trauma, failure of a marriage, shame and guilt, and maybe a spouse's death. Perhaps an unplanned pregnancy. Then the day-to-day pressures of trying to hold it all together on our own, trying to seem strong, can all get in the way of feeling whole, but we still have to show up for our kids, our job, our life. So how can we do that? 

How do we establish emotional stability when emotionally we feel bankrupt and broken? 

Today we discuss this with Dr. John Delony, a bestselling author, mental health expert with two PhDs and over two decades of experience in counseling, and host of The Dr. John Delony Show. 

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TOPIC
This week we’re discussing How to Become a Forgiving Person

PAIN POINT
We aren’t born with a natural propensity toward forgiveness; it’s a trait that we have to develop because it runs counter to our instincts. As single parents, we often have significant trauma, pain, and obstacles that make forgiveness especially hard—it seems there are often more reasons to not forgive than to actually forgive. How can we become a more forgiving person?

3 MAIN POINTS
Today, we cover three main points:
1) Why forgiveness is so hard
2) Our need for and benefits of forgiveness
3) Boundaries in forgiving

LINK TO SHOWNOTES
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ASK US ANYTHING! We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Go to SoloParent.org/TalkToUs and ask us anything…it can be related to a topic we cover on the podcast, something you are facing or just something you are curious about. We want you to be part of our podcast!

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Most parents are focused on creating a stable environment for their kids. But as solo parents, that is a very challenging proposition. To start with, if you have children from divorce, they have already seen some volatility relationally and more than likely a significant back-and-forth between parents emotionally and physically. If your child has lost a parent to death, the trauma they have experienced can create a substantial crack in the foundation of our home. Finally, if your child is from an unplanned pregnancy, from day one, it has been a one-person show that has always been intended for two. So the question is, how do we create stability in a situation that is not stable? How do we take advantage of adversity so that it helps them and not hinders them? Today we explore a few simple tactics for creating a stable home for our kids. 

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Every week, we hear about the challenges related to financial stability with our single parents. Some single parents have never handled the finances of their homes, and now all of a sudden, they’re responsible for budgeting and providing the funds they need to make things meet. Other single parents are now saddled with incredible child support, alimony payments, and any financial stability that they once had being split in two. On the other side of that, expecting child support and alimony that never shows up creates enormous stress. Building financially again, either for the first time on your own, if you’ve never been responsible for the finances before, or rebuilding from scratch after losing virtually everything, can feel overwhelming and daunting. We know there are many self-help books on establishing wealth and creating a healthy asset portfolio, but we are just trying to make ends meet for so many of us, and we don’t have the luxury of thinking much beyond the month, week, or weekday at hand. So how do we start moving towards the sense of having that financial stability and predictability? 

Today we are grateful to have Ron Rauch with us, who is not only a financial expert and CPA but also a man who has dedicated this season of his life to helping those starting to build again. 

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PARENTAL ADVISORY: Today we are talking about sex which may not be appropriate for younger kids to hear.

Sexuality is more complicated now and so much more widely accessible, especially to our kids… it’s everywhere we look. And as a single parent, the other parent may often have different views on sexuality than us. So how do we walk our kids into a healthy understanding of what sex is? It’s not a matter of if they’re going to be exposed to it; it’s a matter of when. 

We want to be proactive, as uncomfortable as it is, but for so many of us, we don’t know how, what or when to do it. 

Often it wasn’t modeled well for us, and now that it’s everywhere around us, our kids are exposed more than we ever would’ve imagined we would be.  

Many of us raised in the church associate sex with shame, so we’re walking into this with our own bag of complexities. 

We want to make this disclaimer: We will not be talking today about what is right or wrong, what we tell our kids they should or shouldn’t do because there are enough available resources that can help you define those boundaries for your kids. 

Today we are going to talk about how we approach the topic, when we approach the topic, and probably most importantly, how to create a safe, open place for talking about sex without shaming, which, studies show, keep us from bringing sexual topics into the light. And when things are left in the shadows, the enemy can turn those thoughts into destructive forces. 

?We have a couple of experts on this episode to guide us through this.

Adam Young, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with a Master degrees in Social Work and Divinity. Serves as a Fellow with The Allender Center, and I am the host of The Place We Find Ourselves podcast. He is married with two kids.

Bethany Robbins served at Theological College of Zimbabwe and is in advanced training under Dan Allender as a lay counselor. She and her husband are missionaries in Malawi, bringing theological education and training leaders to embrace ministry to the fatherless, sojourner, and widow.

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