Slut PhD – Détails, épisodes et analyse

Throughout developed countries, young men have been running to extremist conservative politics with disastrous consequences for democracy. Rather than responding with sympathy or concern, liberal discourse has largely focused on disgust, rejection, and revulsion. In this episode, Julie and her husband Jonny (whose chief stated expertise is "I'm a guy") unpack some of the social disadvantages that men in developed countries face that liberals frequently deride or ignore. They argue that liberals need to open their minds, hearts, and ears to these issues so that young men will stop finding "sympathy" from the wrong people, and describe strategies for society and individuals to engage more positively and proactively with men.

Mentioned in this episode:

Of Boys and Men by Richard Reeves

Violated: Sexual Consent and Assault in the 21st Century by Julie Fennell with Remy Green

Neither mainstream culture nor BDSM subculture is particularly supportive of masculine submission--especially for hetero(ish) cis-men. In this interview, Julie's submissive Artifiction describes his personal experiences trying to reconcile social norms of cis straightish masculinity with the fundamental desire to have someone else be in charge. He and Julie unpack some of the considerable social and personal obstacles that he and other masculine submissives like him face. These include lack of fictional or real role models, lack of social support, and constant struggles for legitimacy.

Mentioned in this episode:

⁠Please Scream Quietly: A Story of Kink⁠

⁠Violated: Sexual Consent and Assault in the 21st Century⁠

⁠Dominatrix: Gender, Eroticism, and Control in the Dungeon⁠

Drawing heavily on the research she conducted from 2012-17 in the BDSM (Bondage & Discipline, Dominance and submission, Sadism & Masochism) subculture, in this episode Julie analyzes the way that gender is broadly connected to BDSM roles. Generally speaking, masculinity is tied to dominance, femininity is tied to submission, and queerness is tied to switching. This episode also discusses some about the way age and desirability intersect with gender and BDSM roles.

Mentioned in this episode: ⁠

Please Scream Quietly: A Story of Kink by Julie Fennell (2022)⁠⁠

The Night Is Young by Hector Carrillo (2001)⁠

Blog posts on Fetlife for who actually benefits the most from BDSM scene involvement:

⁠part 1⁠ and ⁠part 2

Trigger warnings: childhood trauma in general terms, mental illness (especially Borderline Personality Disorder), and relationship dissolution/divorce

Relationship attachment theory has become increasingly popular in Queer communities, but in this episode, Julie explains that the science doesn't really support the enthusiasm. However, one category is perhaps a bit more valid from a scientific perspective than the other three: disorganized attachment (anxious-avoidant). This episode reviews some of the history of relationship attachment theory, critiques its research methods, and proposes that using a behaviorist/learned helplessness framework for understanding relationship patterns can often be much more helpful than the psychoanalytic framework it originated from. It also discusses some of the reasons why relationship attachment theory is so compelling for many Queers (who have often been failed by the mental health establishment), with calls for more research on mental illness dynamics in romantic relationships. ⁠

Wikipedia history of attachment theory

⁠⁠Borderline personality in men

⁠⁠Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) ⁠

⁠Summary of disorganized attachment in relationships⁠

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Two competing ideas exist: (1) that all polyamorous people don't get jealous and (2) that all polyamorous people get jealous but are just really good at processing their anxieties and talking about their feelings with their partners. In reality, both things are true--many poly people get jealous, and many poly people just don't. In this episode, Julie discusses the complexities and implications of these differences for individuals, relationships, and the poly/BDSM subculture.

Referenced in this episode:

⁠Diagram of non-monogamies⁠

⁠Wheel of Emotions

In this episode, Julie talks about many the things that she loves about rope bondage (sometimes called shibari) and discusses vocabulary for talking about what we all love about rope. From art to dance to sex to intimacy to spirituality, there are so many ways to approach rope and do it with passion. This episode is intended for experienced rope lovers to articulate what they love about rope, and for people who are unfamiliar with rope learn more about what the rest of us get out of this demanding and versatile hobby-kink.

Rope and Photo by Lex_Red, Bottom Julie

Links to related instagram posts:

How to talk about what you love about rope

Different perspectives on loving rope

Trigger warning: brief discussion about Consensual Non-Consent (CNC) and Dubious Consent (DubCon)

Feminine dominants are a much misunderstood, misidentified, and misrepresented bunch. In this episode, Julie has a laughing (very late night) conversation with her co-top partner SugarandPoison about their "villain-coded" kinks as fem tops/sadists/doms. They discuss some of the challenges of finding an identity as a fem dom, and spend a lot of time going over their pleasures in it as well. Most of all, they remind listeners that you can do and be a fem dom however you want--their version just happens to lean rather dark and evil.

Photo credit: Julie tying ScarlettPanda at Boundcon '24, photographed by LadyZady

Many people are understandably confused about the relationship between sex and BDSM because... the relationship is very confusing. In this episode, Julie draws from the research she's conducted on the BDSM subculture as well as her extensive personal experience to try to answer the question "is BDSM about sex?" The short answer is, "ish, but you should never trust anyone who gives you a simple answer to this question, because it's extremely personal and subjective."

Referenced in this episode:

⁠Please Scream Quietly: A Story of Kink⁠, by Juile Fennell

⁠"The Prosocial Sadist,"⁠ by Jennifer Erickson and Brad Sagarin

In this conversation between Julie and Doug Robinson, they unpack some of the quirks and challenges of defining and articulating more complicated "sexual orientations." Both of them feel like usual labels don't do a great job of encompassing their own sexual desires and experiences, and they question the usefulness of these labels. In particular, Julie questions the wisdom of depending on "born this way" as an explanation/justification for sexual attraction, arguing that even if sexual attraction is a choice, that shouldn't make it any less legitimate.

Fashion plate toy mentioned in this episode: https://amzn.to/3WISInk

In this episode, Julie interviews playwright Doug Robinson about his experiences growing up and living as a gender non-conforming man. A pressing point in their conversation is the need for a social equivalent for feminine butch for men. We have come to accept a gender identity/presentation (at least for queer women) of "woman, but kind of masculine," but we have no corresponding identity/presentation of "man, but kind of feminine." Inspired by male seahorses, who can carry the babies of their species, Doug argues for a more expansive social construction of masculinity.

Mentioned in this episode:

You Know Me Well by Nina LaCour and David Levithan

Also, if you're in the DC area this Feb through March, you can see one of Doug's plays!