Single and Probably Asexual – Détails, épisodes et analyse

This week's episode, hear about some other badass Asexual's out there in the world doing good things, using their platform and proudly being Ace in a very sex centered world!

Chidera Eggerue - Author, public speaker, certified BADDIE and podcast host of The Slum Flower Hour

IG @theslumflower

Yasmin Benoit - Writer, Activist, Model and creator of the hashtag, #thisiswhatasexuallookslike

IG @theyasminbenoit

Sounds fake, but okay, podcast hosted by Sarah and Kayla

IG @soundsfakepod

Alice Oseman - Author, Illustrator, and screenwriter. Her book was made into the Netflix series called, Heartbreakers

IG @aliceoseman

Check them all out, support them and their work and hear about them more on this weeks episode!

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Support the podcast below and reach out if you ever want to be interviewed for the podcast!

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IG @kendrakphoto

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Hindsight is 20/20, and there was certainly 20/20 clarity on how I have always been Ace, I just didn't see all the signs until later in life!

If you relate, even just a little bit, reach out! Find me on Instagram, comment on the show's episode post, inquire to be on the podcast even! I am always looking for like minded people to have a discussion with. This world can feel lonely sometimes, and extra lonely if you're single.

www.kendrakphoto.comIG @kendrakphotoTikTok @kendrakphoto

For over half of my life, I have subjected myself to watching these terrible reality love shows. And for what?! To walk away every season disappointed and quite frankly pissed off at the people they choose to be contestants on these shows. Knowing that every season is the same damn thing happening over and over again. I quite literally feel like I am in the Twilight Zone. It's the same stuff, the same people, the same breakups, the same communication barriers and the same patterns every dang episode and season. Well guess what? I QUIT!!

Come listen to me talk/vent about the ridiculousness and the glaring whiteness that centers these reality shows that most of us almost feel programmed to watch. And hear what I have started to watch now instead!

Want to be a guest on the podcast? Send me a message, always looking for new people to talk to!

IG/TikTok @kendrakphoto

www.kendrakphoto.com

This weeks interview episode is with two best friends, and photography clients of mine, Adair and Tori! I met these two a couple years ago when they both hired me to do a best friend photoshoot! They had an amazing little week of friendship celebration that also included tattoos, matching piercings and a boudoir photoshoot! When we had our session I remember vividly how they both spoke about being Asexual and knew I had to have them on a episode of this podcast. At the time, for me, I knew I was on the spectrum of asexuality, and to hear them both so candidly talking about being asexual, set off a bigger spark in me years ago, when I was in the initial stages of just thinking about this podcast.

Come listen to two people who have identified as being Asexual since their adolescent years, and all of the new things that I learned on this episode from Adair and Tori!

Want to be a guest on the podcast? Send me a message, always looking for new people to talk to!

IG/TikTok @kendrakphoto

www.kendrakphoto.com

This weeks solo episode, I will be adding onto my last solo episode, Compulsory Sexuality Pt. 1.
Compulsory Sexuality is the idea that everyone thinks and feels the same about sex. We all want it, we all need it, we all have to have it in order to be functioning members of society and productive humans. And one of the bigger ideas and displays of normative heterosexuality, is that women are subservient to men and that men are owed sex from women. But also, that they are just "owed" sex in general. Women are one of the more ostracized groups of individuals affected by compulsory heterosexuality, alongside with people of color, people on the LGBTQIA spectrum and children.
This episode doesn't shy away from touchy subjects. When it comes to something as serious as compulsory sexuality and how is relates and purely operates through many facets of life that we are aware of today, it's hard not to dive into the topic. The deplorable meaning behind it, how is exploits women, children and how it dehumanizes people of color, especially black women. Compulsory sexuality and compulsory heterosexuality was and is created for men and how we operate as a society, world and country, is in reflection of what is traditionally expected of a woman and of a man. Or, those with a penis vs those with a vagina.
and since we're on the topic, sex in general was create for men, by men.
Thanks for listening and feel free to send in any questions of things you would like to add to this topic!

My education on this topic aside from a little bit of Google has been this book, Refusing Compulsory Sexuality, A Black A-Sexual Lens on our Sex Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J. Brown (They/Them) I highly recommend this book to everyone. Even if you are someone who experience's sexuality and sexual desires in a way relating to compulsory sexuality, this is still a good read to get a perspective on those who do not. Tell me what you think about this episode! Part 2 will be out after my next interview episode!

TW: Violence, generational trauma, SA, rape, death, discrimination to those marginalized

Want to be a guest on the podcast? Send me a message, always looking for new people to talk to!

IG/TikTok @kendrakphoto

www.kendrakphoto.com

Tantra. Don't lie, you know the first thing you think about when you hear this word is sex. But- Lona is here today to reassure you that Tantra, first and foremost, starts from within and bigger than the correlation to sex and partnership, tantra can be expressed and practiced on your own! MIND BLOWN.

But in all reality, as Lona so eloquently states on this Podcast Interview, "It always starts with the individual, always, every-time. If you don't learn how to do it on an individual level, you can become reliant on someone else to give you this magical, blissful feeling." Which we can all access on our own! What I have learned from Lona over the years is that Tantra is a state of being. Come listen to us chat Tantra and Tantra while single. 

Lona IG @makespaceforinfinity

Land Acknowledgement - Lummi Nation, Nooksack Tribe (Bellingham, WA) and the Squamish Tribe (Bremerton, WA)

Want to be a guest on the podcast? Send me a message, always looking for new people to talk to!

IG/TikTok @kendrakphoto

www.kendrakphoto.com

This weeks solo episode, I will be chatting about compulsory sexuality. This topic will definitely be a two parter, as there is a lot to discuss.
Compulsory Sexuality is the idea that everyone thinks and feels the same about sex. We all want it, we all need it, we all have to have it in order to be functioning members of society and productive humans. Compulsory sexuality also upholds western norms on sex which is also aligned with Compulsory Heterosexuality. Compulsory heterosexuality is the idea that heterosexuality is assumed and enforced upon people by a patriarchal and heteronormative society. The term was popularized by Adrienne Rich in her 1980 essay titled "Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence".
With all this to be said, where does this concept leave room for those who don't align with these theories and ideas. Those who are a-sexual and don't have a high sex drive or sex drive at all. It leads to abuse, violence and discrimination, especially to those who are marginalized.
My education on this topic aside from a little bit of Google has been this book, Refusing Compulsory Sexuality, A Black A-Sexual Lens on our Sex Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J. Brown (They/Them)
I highly recommend this book to everyone. Even if you are someone who experience's sexuality and sexual desires in a way relating to compulsory sexuality, this is still a good read to get a perspective on those who do not.
Tell me what you think about this episode! Part 2 will be out after my next interview episode!

TW: Violence, generational trauma, SA, rape, death, discrimination to those marginalized

Want to be a guest on the podcast? Send me a message, always looking for new people to talk to!

IG/TikTok @kendrakphoto

www.kendrakphoto.com

New interview episode out now, with my good friend Zach! Celibacy, it's cool, trust us.⁠ TW: Domestic abuse, generational trauma, substance abuse

Before I even made real moves with this podcast, I always knew that I wanted my friend Zach to be a guest! As burner friends, former roommates and current board game night buddy, Zach and I have gotten to be quite close and is a dear friend of mine.⁠

Knowing about his past and how he was celibate for four years, I was excited to have this conversation with a fellow, former celibate. I don't meet or know many people who are celibate and it's a conversation I don't hear talk about often. Most would correlate celibacy with religion, not having sex to uphold a promise to their god. But there are more reasons to be celibate and there are some truly beautiful things about celibacy and the time that you are celibate. Having FULL focus on your soul, you heart and your life has that power to show you a slew of positive things that can happen for you. Inner work is the real work people. Even if you are someone who is open sexually or in a relationship, it always falls back to you and if you haven't cultivated a relationship with yourself, you can still feel lost within partnership.⁠

We of course trail off to a lot of different topics, big life things, societal habits, burning man etc. But we have a really great conversation and I'm excited for you all to hear some sage wisdom form my friend!⁠

Favorite line from Zach from this conversation:⁠

"We're still stuck in the rails, there is this famous thought-idea of when the designed the space station, they had to design every flat surface as a floor because there was no up or down, you didn't have walls, you didn't have a floor and a ceiling, you could have 6 floors in a room that you can utilize as space. So if we designed things from the ground up without the biases we've had from the past, what would to the world look like today?"⁠

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TW: Domestic abuse, generational trauma, substance abuse

Want to be a guest on the podcast? Send me a message, always looking for new people to talk to! 

IG/TikTok @kendrakphoto

www.kendrakphoto.com

"Did you ever hear someone ask someone else, mostly women, why are you not in a relationship? And the responses often is, because I am having fun. I think there is something pretty profound and big there."⁠

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Listen to me chat on this episode about the perspective of being a single, 30 year old woman in the day and age of 2022. I always used to feel ashamed for never having real relationships and always being the single person, the third wheel, the fifth wheel, etc. I think I used to look around and compare myself to others and back then I thought I needed to be in a relationship because  everyone else was. Because I hated being the loner and the odd ball out.⁠

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But now, I see myself and my life being single as infinite and full of possibilities. Just because I am unlike others in my friend circles, doesn't mean I am less and I realize that now. And I am now seeing myself as having more opportunities and possibilities than those who are in relationships.⁠

Life that used to look sad, and impossible now looks limitless. Being single is limitless don't forget that.⁠

IG/TikTok/Pinterest @kendrakphoto

www.kendrakphoto.com

Inquire to be a guest on the podcast with me below!

kendra@kendrakphoto.com⁠

Join me on my second interview with my new amazing friend, Dr. Katy Cook! Katy and I met not too long ago at a van life meetup in California, became fast friends and now have winter holiday plans in Mexico at the end of this year. That's a pretty great start to a friendship, eh? I think so! Katy and I dive into the psychology behind sex and what it means for both of us. Her, identifying as being hyper sexual and myself being a celibate ace person. We also chat attachment styles which is a really fascinating portion of this interview and just like the last interview, it's full of jokes, laughter and good fun. 

Where you can find Katy along her epic second book research journey across the US!

Website www.drkatycook.com

IG/TikTok @the.states.of.the.nation

TW: Abuse, child abuse, addiction

Recommend reads from Katy and I on this episode. Finding Your North Star by Martha Beck and Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza.

IG/TikTok @kendrakphoto

Website www.kendrakphoto.com