In this episode of Sexplicit, join Anisa as she dives deep into the topic of sexual confidence for heterosexual men with Cam Fraser, a Certified Professional Sex Coach and Certified Sexologist. Together, they explore the barriers men face when it comes to sexual confidence and provide practical strategies to overcome them.

Topics Covered:

• Insecurities and anxieties men commonly experience in the bedroom
• The influence of social norms and masculine identity on sexual confidence
• How sexual education (or lack thereof) shapes men's sexual experiences
• Practical tips and resources to build lasting sexual confidence

About Our Guest: Cam Fraser is a Certified Professional Sex Coach, Certified Sexologist, and former Tantric Yoga Teacher. His work blends scientifically validated sexual health information with sacred sexuality teachings. Cam helps men move beyond surface-level sex to experience full-bodied, self-expressed, pleasure-oriented sexual experiences free from anxiety and shame. You can learn more about his work at cam-fraser.com.

In this episode Anisa has a conversation with Ella Shannon, the National Chair of the Society of Australian Sexologists, for a candid conversation about sexual confidence after trauma. They explore strategies to reclaiming sexual confidence following traumatic experiences, offering hope and guidance to those on the path to healing.

Key Topics Discussed:

• What is Sexual Confidence? A
• Is it Possible to Feel Confident Again? 
• Practical Tips for Reconnecting with Safety and Pleasure.
• The Role of Therapy
• How to Find the Right Therapist.

Whether you've experienced trauma yourself or are supporting someone who has, this episode offers valuable insights and practical advice for anyone looking to reclaim their sexual confidence.
For more information about Ella Shannon and her work, visit her website at ellashannon.com.

In this episode you will hear Anisa Varasteh Clinical Sexologist discuss:

•  7 common blocks to erotic confidence
• Specific tips and suggestions for addressing each of these obstacle

Link to Discover Your Erotic Self: https://www.relatesexology.com/sexuality-workshop-erotic-self

In this episode Anisa Varasteh, Clinical Sexologist discusses:

·       The impact of sexual assault on relationships

·       Why sex and intimacy can be very challenging after sexual assault

·       How to re-build intimacy if you find any sexual or physical activity triggering 

·       What partners can do to support their loved one 

·       Strategies to enjoy intimacy again

·       What type of therapist can help with intimacy related issues post trauma

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/DNMZV75

In this episode Anisa Varasteh, Clinical Sexologist discusses:

• What is narcissism? 
• Identifying narcissism in relationships 
• Early signs and red flags for narcissism in romantic and sexual relationships
• The impact of long-term relationships with a narcissist
• Leaving a toxic relationship with a narcissist

In this episode, Anisa Varasteh, Clinical Sexologists will discuss: 

What the 5 Love Languages are

Why they may be hurting your relationship

Tips for healthy relationships

Managing conflicts in a relationship 

Submit your questions anonymously here: www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/DNMZV75

More about Relate Sexology: www.relatesexology.com

In this episode Anisa Varasteh, Clinical Sexologist answers your questions about pornography:

-What is pornography?
-Can watching porn impact your mental health, sexual functioning or relationship?
-What is ethical pornography?
-Can porn be helpful?
-Does violent porn lead to violent behaviour?
-I am a non-violent person but interested in BDSM, does it mean I have an underlying desire to hurt others?
-Can you develop porn addiction by watching porn?
-How can I identify if I am addicted to porn?

In this episode, you will hear: 

Why do people choose open relationships?

How common is non-monogamy?

What do I/we need to do if we want to explore an open relationship?

Essential skills you need for a successful relationship

Different relationship structures

Links to resources mentioned in this episode:

Submit your questions here: https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/DNMZV75

Worksheet:

https://www.relatesexology.com/resources

Books:

Polyamory by Martha Kaupi

Polysecure by  Jessica Fern,

The Ethical Slut, Dossie Easton

In this episode:

•            Healing attachment wounds in therapy

•            Listen to Anisa using Internal Family Systems to support someone who has anxiety around dating

What your sexual fantasies say about you

In this episode, you will hear: 

• The origin of sexual fantasies
• The most common sexual fantasies and why people have them
• The psychology of sexual fantasies
• Difference between fantasy and desire
• How to communicate with your partner about sexual fantasies

Links to resources mentioned in this episode:

Submit you questions here: https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/DNMZV75

Healing Through Kink online training: www.relatesexology.com/healing-through-kink

In this episode you will hear:

• Impact of childhood experiences on adulthood relationships
• Attachment styles 
• How attachment styles impact intimate relationships
• Strategies to form new healthy relationships

To book a therapeutic session with Anisa visit:
https://www.relatesexology.com/

Books mentioned in the podcast:
Healing Trauma by Peter Levine
The body keeps the score by Bassel van der Kolk 

In this episode, you will hear: 

• Orgasm as a social construct
• The common myths about female orgasm
• How do porn and the media impact our sexuality?
• Redefining foreplay and sex
• Anorgasmia
• The impact of language on experiencing sexual pleasure
• Ways to explore pleasure
• How to discuss masturbation with your partner
• Choosing body-safe sex toys

For more information about the therapeutic services I offer visit: www.relatesexology.com

In this episode, we dive deep into the world of sexual confidence with Caitlin V.
Caitlin V is a sex and relationship coach, YouTuber, and host of Good Sex on Max and Discovery+. Formerly a professional sexual health researcher, she dropped out of her PHD program to start a career coaching men to gain confidence, satisfaction, and transformation both inside and outside the bedroom. Caitlin’s mission is to create a sex and pleasure-positive world. 

Caitlin shares practical tips and strategies to enhance your sexual confidence, making this episode a must-listen for anyone looking to feel more empowered in their sexual journey.

Key Topics:

• Defining sexual confidence and why it’s important
• The challenges singles face in building sexual confidence
• Managing anxiety in dating and sexual situations
• Practical tips to boost your sexual confidence
• How to communicate your desires, needs, and boundaries effectively

Learn More About Caitlin V.:

• Website: caitlinvneal.com
• YouTube: youtube.com/caitlinv

The psychology of seduction

In this episode:

• The difference between being friendly and flirty
• How not to get “friend-zoned”
• Common mistakes people make when they want to seduce someone
• How to avoid such mistakes
• How not to come across as “predatory” or “too much”
• Step-by-step guide to seduce another person
• How to ask for consent without “killing the mood”

Free online course: Discover Your Erotic Style:

https://www.relatesexology.com/sexuality-workshop-desire-style

Discover Your Erotic Self Workshop:

https://www.relatesexology.com/sexuality-workshop-erotic-self

Book 1:1 therapy with Anisa:

https://www.relatesexology.com/contact

More about Dr. Alison Ash:
https://www.turnon.love/

Welcome to Sexplicit, sexuality podcast which offers free quality sexuality education for adults. My name is Anisa Varasteh I am a clinical sexologist and registered mental health practitioner.

In this episode, you will hear: 

• Definition of kink & BDSM
• Myths and facts about kink
• How my story as a sexologist began

Links to resources mentioned in this episode:

• Submit you questions here: www.relatesexology.com/contact
• Healing through kink online training: www.relatesexology.com/healing-through-kink
• Relate Sexology website: https://www.relatesexology.com/

Please note Sexplicit is a production of Relate Sexology.

In this  episode, Anisa is joined by Jacqueline Hellyer, one of Australia’s leading sexologists and the founder of the Lovelife Clinic. They dive deep into the nuances of sexual confidence within long-term relationships, exploring what it truly means to feel confident and connected with your partner over time.

Key Topics Discussed:

• Understanding Sexual Confidence
• Challenges to Sexual Confidence in Long-Term Relationships
• Impact of Communication on Confidence
• Challenging Societal Norms and Expectations
• Practical Tips for Improvement

Resources Mentioned:

• Lovelife Clinic: Explore more about Jacquline’s work and the services offered at the Lovelife Clinic: www.thelovelifeclinic.com
• Jacquline’s Retreats: www.jacquelinehellyer.com/lovelife-retreats

In this engaging episode, join Anisa,  as she candidly shares her birth story and imparts valuable tips on minimising the risk of birth trauma. Get ready for an insightful discussion covering postpartum intimacy with Anisa Varsteh and Candice Care-Unger, both experienced clinical sexologists. Highlights include:

• Anisa's personal birth journey
• Practical advice on reducing the likelihood of birth trauma
• Tips and perspectives on navigating post-party intimacy

You can contact Anisa on relatesexology.com
You can contact Candice on carerehab.com.au

In this  episode, I'm opening up and sharing my story, giving you a glimpse into what led me to become a clinical sexologist.

Amanda (Relate Sexology's Communications Manager) and I will be diving deep into the fascinating topic of why sex is taboo and shining a light on the historical policing of women's sexuality. It's a topic that hits close to home for many of us, and together, we'll explore why these issues persist and how they impact our lives today.

This episode is all about connection and breaking down barriers. I hope you will feel like we're sitting together, having this authentic conversation, as I share my personal experiences and insights.

So grab your favourite cozy spot, put on your headphones, tune in and be a part of this engaging and relatable conversation! 

In this episode you will hear Anisa Varasteh Clinical Sexologist discuss:
-Why people are interested in such extreme practices
- Is kink a sexual practice?
-Why there is a high representation of asexual and neurodivergent people in kink community
-Do masochists really enjoy pain?
-Sub/Dom space: an altered state of consciousness

Links:
https://www.relatesexology.com/healing-through-kink 

In this episode you will hear Anisa Varasteh Clinical Sexologist discuss:

• Underlying causes of sexual pain
• strategies to address painful sex

To book an appointment with Relate Sexology team go to : relatesexology.com/our-team

In this episode Anisa Varasteh, Clinical Sexologist discusses:

• What normal means in a sexual context
• What influences our ideas of normality
• How pre-occupation with 'normality' can impact our sexuality
• What to do if you think you are not normal

In this episode you will hear Anisa Varasteh Clinical Sexologist discuss:

-Discerning developmentally typical sexual behaviours in children from concerning behaviours
-Examples of developmentally typical behaviours and concerning behaviours in 4 age groups

Submit your questions anonymously here: https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/DNMZV75

In this episode of Sexplicit, Anisa sits down with Clinical Sexologist Kate Dempsey to explore the complex journey of rebuilding sexual confidence after infidelity. This episode delves into the intense emotional landscape that can emerge after betrayal, examining the ways it affects one’s sense of erotic confidence and other areas of life. With practical tips grounded in Internal Family Systems (IFS), Anisa and Kate discuss strategies to manage overwhelming feelings and begin the healing process.

Kate  is an Accredited Clinical Psychosexual Therapist, Certified IFS Clinical Consultant, and Clinical Sexuality Educator. She teaches in the Psychosexual Therapy Postgraduate Program at the University of Sydney’s Faculty of Medicine and Health and works as an embedded contractor in a psychiatric hospital, where she facilitates sessions on “Sexual Function and Mental Health” and “Sexual Function and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder” for veterans and first responders. Kate also operates a private practice, Sexology North Queensland, where she works with adults in diverse relationship styles.

Topics Covered:

• Overview of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and its application to infidelity recovery
• The impact of infidelity on both individuals and partners, including its effects on self-esteem and sexual confidence
• Rebuilding trust and courageous communication within relationships
• Practical tools for managing intense emotions during recovery

Tune in for insights and actionable advice to help listeners regain confidence and reconnect with their authentic sexual selves, even after the challenges of betrayal.

What makes someone leave a corporate career to become a male escort? In this eye-opening conversation, Anisa sits down with George Goulburn, who shares his unexpected journey into the world of professional intimacy.

George talks about:
 The emotional and psychological depth of his work
 The profound impact he has on his clients’ lives
 The biggest misconceptions about male sex work
 Why intimacy—paid or not—is a fundamental human need

This episode challenges everything you think you know about sex work. Whether you’re curious, skeptical, or just eager to hear a fresh perspective, George’s story will make you rethink the way you view sex work.

Hit play and step into a world rarely discussed but deeply human.

Connect with George:
Website: www.georgegoulburn.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/george_goulburn/?hl=en

In this special bonus episode, we step away from expert interviews to sit down with everyday people. Silence and stigma around sexuality can leave us feeling isolated, misunderstood, or even ashamed, but sharing stories reminds us that we’re not alone.

Today, I’m joined by Lynton, who candidly shares his personal story. Together, we explore:

• Polyamory: What it means to embrace ethical non-monogamy.
• Difficult Conversations: Navigating open and honest communication with partners, even when it’s uncomfortable.
• The Role of Vulnerability in Connection: How being vulnerable can deepen intimacy and foster stronger relationships.
• Managing Jealousy: Strategies for working through jealousy in any relationship.
• Living with an Acquired Injury and Disability: Lynton’s talks about his experience of intimacy, connection, and self-acceptance post-injury.

Tune in for an inspiring conversation that might just change how you view intimacy and connection.

Resources & Links

• Our website: www.relatesexology.com
• Lynton's Youtube channel: www.youtube.com/@BeingLynton

💬 Have a story to share or a topic you’d love us to explore? Reach out – we’d love to hear from you!

🎧 Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast – your support helps us continue provide free sexuality education to all. 

In this conversation, Anisa Varasteh and Stacey Micallef discuss the concept of sexual confidence in relation to gender identities and the challenges faced by gender diverse individuals. Stacey shares practical tips for enhancing sexual confidence and emphasises the freedom that comes with gender diversity. The discussion also touches on the connection between gender and sexuality, and how individuals can find inclusive therapists to support their journey.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction 

04:16 Challenges Faced by Gender Diverse Individuals

07:01 Impact of Body Acceptance on Confidence

11:26 The Importance of Labels in Gender Identity and Sexuality

18:38 The Connection Between Sexuality and Gender

21:56 The Benefits of Gender Diversity

23:52 Tips for Feeling More Confident Sexually

30:54 Creating a Safe and Affirming Environment with Therapists

Find Stacey here: everybodysexology.com.au