Sex Love and Soul is a place where we cut through the myths around relationships and intimacy, especially for the "nice guys" who struggle to connect deeply with women. I’m Mary Knight, your host, and today, we’re going to explore why being a nice guy doesn’t always get the results you want in your love life and how to shift from being stuck in your head to truly being present in your body.

Women appreciate nice guys, but there's a disconnect that many don’t see: nice guys often live in their heads instead of their bodies. When you focus on your thoughts — “Does she like me? Am I doing this right?” — you’re not truly with her in the moment. And when you're stuck in your head it's hard to express your true desires. It shows up in your dating life as anxiety, premature ejaculation, or even struggling to feel aroused at all. This creates a frustrating cycle where no matter how good your intentions are.

The solution is getting out of your head and into your body. In today’s show, I’ll walk you through a simple exercise that will help you shift your energy to where it needs to be: your core. By grounding yourself, you’ll start to notice how much more relaxed and confident you feel, and how women respond to you differently.

Presence is what women crave. When you show up with real, embodied confidence — not just “niceness” — you make her feel seen, heard, and desired. So, if you’re tired of being misunderstood or stuck in the friend zone, it’s time to change the game.

Being a nice guy can be your superpower — but only if you learn to lead with your full self. In this episode, I’ll show you how to turn your headspace into heartspace and why mastering this shift is the key to having the passionate, connected love life you’ve always wanted.

Subscribe, stay tuned, and let’s get started!

Get my new booklet on how to Turn to being a Nice Guy into a Sexy Superpower: www.sexloveandsoul.com

mary@sexloveandsoul.com

Why She Put You in the Friendzone: What You're Missing About Female Attraction

In this episode of Sex, Love, and Soul, I, Mary Knight, dive deep into a crucial topic for men—what female sex drive isn't. Many men unknowingly focus on the wrong things in dating, which can land them squarely in the friendzone.

Do you think being respectful or walking on eggshells will make her see you as a romantic partner? You might be surprised to learn that respect, while essential in all relationships, is not what fuels female desire. In fact, female attraction is far more complex, and it's not about winning her approval or being the "nice guy."

This video is the third in my series, explaining how female sex drive actually works—and how it doesn't. From learning why women don't need respect to feel turned on, to understanding why being overly accommodating can backfire, we’ll discuss how you can stop focusing on her boundaries and start focusing on who you truly are as a man.

If you want to break free from the "nice guy" trap and have deeper, more meaningful connections with women, this episode is for you.

Don't forget to subscribe for more insights on dating, sex, and relationships, and drop your questions in the comments or email me at mary@sexloveandsoul.com!

www.sexloveandsoul.

Get my new booklet: Turn Nice into a Sexy Super Power

Manipulating men with sex and other lies

You are invited to confront your fears, desires, and vulnerabilities. Through candid conversations and soul-stirring revelations, Mary illuminates the transformative power of honesty, openness, and self-acceptance. This journey towards understanding and acceptance promises to inspire hope and empower you to foster meaningful connections.

Tune in to "Sex, Love & Soul" and embark on a journey towards authentic love, profound connection, and soulful fulfillment. Subscribe now to join Mary on a quest to uncover the essence of sex, love, and the human soul.

www.sexloveandsoul.com

Hello and welcome! Today's episode is announcing a podcast name change. Stop Dating Losers will now be Sex, Love & Soul!

Welcome to "Stop Dating Losers," where we reflect on our lives filled with proud accomplishments, beautiful children, and successful careers. Yet, when we delve into our romantic past, we're often met with regret.

We've all been there—the inner voice echoing, "Why did I marry that guy?" or "What was I thinking?" We're left feeling guilty and ashamed, picking up the pieces of damaged relationships.

It's easy to blame ourselves for choosing partners who weren't right for us. But self-blame only scratches the surface. True accountability means delving into why we made those decisions.

Relationships influence every aspect of our lives, yet many of us treat them lightly, falling in and out of love without much thought. I know this firsthand—I stumbled through countless relationships with men who weren't good for me.

Taking responsibility felt empowering, but it wasn't enough. I needed to hold myself accountable, to ask why I kept making the same mistakes.

Transformation isn't easy. It requires introspection, a willingness to feel, to ponder, to grow. That's why I'm launching a membership—a community where you can ask questions, get coached by me, and grow alongside others on the same journey.

Join me on "Stop Dating Losers" as we navigate the complexities of love, learn from our mistakes, and strive for growth. Together, we'll transform our relationships and our lives. Lots of love to you all—bye for now!

#MichaelSandler #untetheredsoul

Let's chat about self-trust vs. following strict rules in post-divorce dating. Of all things, I talk about "The Rules" and how sometimes we need to be rigid until we learn to trust ourselves. From setting strict guidelines to embracing flexibility, this episode offers practical advice for finding fulfilling connections in the dating world after divorce. Tune in and empower yourself to make the right decisions for your love life. xoxo Mary

Welcome to Stop Dating Losers! This is a bonus episode that is a sort of part 2 to episode 22, General Manager of the Universe. This topic hits close to home for many of you strong, independent women, over fifty who are reentering the dating scene after divorce.

Finding yourself in the role of giver helper fixer, is no longer giving you what you need and now you feel drained and unfulfilled? Well, you're not alone. As a recovering people pleaser, I've been there too. Join me as I share my personal journey and insights into breaking free from these patterns of imbalance. I'm sharing stories of coaching clients, and personal stories as well. Together, we'll explore the power of setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care to cultivate healthier, more fulfilling connections. It's time to stop dating losers and start embracing relationships that uplift and empower us. Tune in now and let's embark on this transformative journey together!

xoxo

- Mary

Embrace the profound shift from constantly helping and fixing to authentic connection. Yes, it's possible! Tune in for real insights that challenge conventional dating norms and pave the way for deeper emotional intimacy and satisfaction. If you're ready to break free from outdated patterns and embrace a more fulfilling approach to dating and relationships, this episode is for you! Don't miss out—subscribe now and start your journey towards love and self-discovery today!

#DatingAfterDivorce #SelfDiscovery #AuthenticConnection #BreakingOldPatterns

RJ Spina https://www.ascendthefrequencies.com/

"Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition," this timeless phrase echos the essence of human experience, emphasizing the delicate balance between faith and self-preservation. In this podcast, Mary Landgraf gets into the intricate dance of love and spirituality, exploring how to honor both divine guidance and personal boundaries in the realm of relationships. Join us as she unravels the complexities of dating in a spiritual context, empowering you to embrace your spiritual essence while navigating the practicalities of modern romance. From recognizing red flags to reclaiming personal sovereignty, we offer insights and strategies to help you foster fulfilling connections without compromising your values. #DivineDatingJourney, #datingafterdivorce

#SpiritualLoveQuest

#TrustAndBoundaries

#SovereignRomance

#FaithfulHeartOwnership

Hey there, it's Mary Landgraf, and welcome back to "Stop Dating Losers!" Today's episode offers a dose of tough love, exploring how our past experiences and unexamined emotions influence our present relationships. Drawing insights from A Course in Miracles, I go through the subtle ways we project past hurts onto current situations, often thinking we're defending ourselves when we're actually lashing out. Through somatic meditation and introspective exercises, we unravel deep-seated wounds and confront the split personality many of us harbor towards men.

Join me on this journey of self-discovery and transformation as we pave the way toward open-hearted connections and fulfillment. And remember, you're not alone on this path. Let's find the way together.

Email me at mary@stopdatinglosers.co. Yes, it is .co and not .com

Don't forget to rate and review the podcast if you find these insights valuable.

#RelationshipAdvice #DivorceRecovery, #TrustIssues #HealthyDating #HeartHealing #LoveAfterDivorce #EmpoweredDating #TakingOwnership

I mentioned:

www.acim.org #A Course in Miracles

#DrKelly Brogan

#KnowThyselfPodcast

#DrJoeDispensa

Join me, Mary Landgraf, on another empowering episode of "Stop Dating Losers," where we dive deep into transforming negative thoughts and healing the relationships women have with men after divorce. In this guided meditation, I guide you through the powerful process of revisiting a time when you felt disappointed by a man. Discover how these past experiences might be influencing your present attitude and expectations towards men. As we explore the concept that our experiences are influenced by the energies we put out, learn how shifting your mindset can transform your dating life. If you're a woman navigating the post-divorce dating scene and want to break free from negative patterns, this episode is tailored just for you. Subscribe now and take the first step towards rewriting your love story. #HealingAfterDivorce #PositiveMindset #RelationshipsWithMen #EmpoweredDating #NegativeThoughts

Gorgeous Heart Chakra Music on track is by Rebecca Read https://www.readsrecordings.com/

Profound experiences with somatic healing...unraveling the layers of patterns that have lingered since childhood. As I reflect on past relationships and the impact of my fiercely independent nature, I explore the complexities of masculine and feminine energies. Don't miss this authentic and vulnerable exploration that promises healing, self-discovery, and the power to break free from ingrained patterns. If you're a woman navigating post-divorce dating, this episode is a must-listen. Subscribe now and join Mary on the path to embracing authenticity and rewriting the narrative of your own love story. #SomaticHealing #DatingAfterDivorce #SelfDiscovery #FeminineEnergy #PodcastJourney

www.sexloveandsoul.com

Feeling confused when a woman suddenly needs space, stops responding to your texts, or seems less available? You're not alone. In this video, we'll get into what's really going on when a woman pulls away during the first few weeks of dating. Is it something you did? Or is it just part of how women rekindle their attraction? We’ll explore why even after an amazing date or great sex, a woman might instinctively create distance.

You’ll learn why space can be a crucial part of a woman’s sex drive and how her need for space is not necessarily a sign of disinterest. We’ll discuss key behaviors that might push her away and what to do when she starts pulling back. Plus, I'll share how a woman’s level of attraction influences how much space she needs, and how you can tell if her interest is fading or if she just needs time to re-ignite her feelings.

Whether you're in the first few dates or navigating a long-term relationship, understanding this dynamic is essential. Remember, a woman’s desire for space can be a natural part of building a healthy, lasting attraction. Stay tuned, and let's decode this often-misunderstood aspect of dating.

Key Topics Covered:

• Why women need space during the early dating phase
• Signs that her interest might be fading
• How over-pursuing can backfire and what to do instead
• The importance of maintaining your cool and masculine energy
• When to give her space and when to walk away

If you're ready to stop feeling frustrated and start understanding the nuances of female attraction, hit play now!

www.sexloveandsoul.com

mary@swxloveandsoul.com

This week, we're getting deeper into the mysteries behind 'Nice Guys' – exploring the fine line between niceness and kindness, the pitfalls of pedestals, and why women often find themselves exhausted in the pursuit of authentic connections. Join me for a candid discussion on objectification, boundaries, and the empowering journey of rediscovering what we truly desire in a partner. It's time to stop dating losers and start embracing the love we deserve!

www.sexloveandsoul.com

Listen in and learn how matching energy destroys you and the men you date! In this episode, we'll explore matching energy in relationships, especially in dating after divorce. I know for years, I was losing myself in an attempt to dazzle and impress the men I dated. Along the way, I learned there is a fine line between holding space for others and compromising our authenticity. Tune in now for essential insights that resonate with every woman seeking genuine connections after divorce! xo - Mary

www.sexloveandsoul.com

As someone raised in the New Age church, I share my experiences and how the emphasis on positivity had unintended consequences on my self-perception. The pressure to conform to the "good girl" narrative led to internal conflicts and stifled authentic expression.

We explore the impact of unexamined thoughts on our relationships and the tendency to avoid labeling our partners as dishonest. Discover how unspoken beliefs influence our choices, shaping our lives in ways we may not fully comprehend.

The episode unfolds as we confront the blurred lines between being supportive and helpful and unintentionally enabling unhealthy dynamics in our relationships. I share personal insights on redefining what it truly means to be a good person, breaking free from the limiting constraints of the "good girl" archetype.

As we navigate the nuanced terrain of self-perception and societal conditioning, you'll gain valuable insights into redefining your own terms of kindness, goodness, and personal worth. Let's challenge the myths and emerge empowered in our relationships.

www.sexloveandsoul.com

Why are we attracted to wild, dangerous men who bring us nothing but chaos out of the bedroom? It's not about doing things right or wrong but understanding what truly sparks desire.

This is an interesting and weirdly personal episode. I discuss what I thought of as sexual arousal was more a mental construct than an authentic embodied experience.

#johndemartini #jimrohn

Today, I discuss the ins and outs of why we don't want to f&^k nice guys!

www.sexloveandsoul.com

In this episode, I share a very personal story that gets into my unexpected foray into the world of sex work. I recount my initial shock and surprise entering the explicit environment of a strip club while applying for a waitressing job. I eventually transitioned from stripping to working as a private dancer for an escort service. Throughout the episode, I reflect on the impact of my upbringing, the absence of boundaries, and the liberating aspects of sex work. I connect these experiences to the challenges women in their 50s face in relationships, shedding light on the importance of self-worth and establishing personal boundaries.

www.sexloveandsoul.com

Welcome back to 'Stop Dating Losers,' where Mary Landgraf is your guide for navigating the world of dating after 50. In today's episode, we're delving into our perceptions' profound impact on shaping our romantic experiences. Join me as we explore the fascinating connection between mindset and the men and love we attract. Discover actionable insights and practical tips to break free from limiting perceptions that might be hindering your dating journey. Tune in now to redefine your love story and gain the tools you need to create the fulfilling connection you've been seeking!

Get my free guide and Stop Dating Losers now!

In this episode of Sex, Love & Soul, we’ll get into the expectations surrounding sex on the first date. I'll shed light on the fundamental differences in how men and women approach dating, highlighting the importance of understanding each other's intentions. For women, a date is about getting to know a person on a deeper level, while for men, it often involves the desire to seduce. We'll explore the concept that when a man asks you out, it's primarily because he wants to have sex with you, and that's not a negative thing but rather a natural inclination.

www.sexloveandsoul.com

In this episode, we'll delve into my unusual background, exploring the experiences that shaped my understanding of intimacy, relationships, and the art of meaningful connections. From navigating the nuances of dating to unraveling the mysteries of desire, I share anecdotes, lessons, and practical advice drawn from my rich and diverse experiences.

Get ready to be inspired, entertained, and enlightened as we journey towards deeper connections and a more fulfilling love life.

www.sexloveandsoul.com

Join me on a thought-provoking journey through the intricacies of dating, self-perception, and the significant impact of words in relationships. In this episode, we explore the dynamics of attraction, the discrepancies between words and actions, and the common tendency to doubt ourselves instead of questioning the sincerity of others. We get into the reasons behind this behavior, touching on the influence of self-awareness and personal intent. Discover how setting dating standards and trusting your instincts can help you have more fun and move through the dating world more effectively. 

www.sexloveandsoul.com: Get Your Sexy Back free course!

Get my free guide and Stop Dating Losers now!

Understanding Female Sex Drive: A Guide for Men

Welcome to the first video in a special series designed specifically for men, inspired by the questions I’ve received from my community. While my coaching, courses, and podcast primarily focus on women, I’ve noticed an increasing number of queries from men seeking to understand the fundamentals of female sex drive. This series aims to demystify this topic and provide you with valuable insights.

In this video, we’re exploring the basics of what female sex drive is, particularly in the context of early dating. It’s important to note that we’re discussing general, healthy scenarios here, without delving into the complexities of individual nuances and kinks.

1. Curiosity and Trust: When a woman agrees to a date, two main elements of her sex drive are triggered—curiosity and trust. She’s intrigued by you and wants to solve the puzzle you represent. Additionally, she feels safe with you, knowing you can handle situations that arise.

2. The Role of Relaxation: For a woman to feel physically aroused, she must feel relaxed. Safety translates to the ability to relax, which is crucial for arousal.

3. Beyond Respect: Contrary to common belief, a woman’s sex drive doesn’t hinge on feeling respected for her accomplishments. While respect is important in a relationship, it’s not what turns her on. Overemphasizing respect can sometimes lead men into the friend zone.

4. Authenticity and Boundaries: Men who are attractive to women know their own boundaries and values. They don’t need to know a woman’s boundaries upfront because they remain consistent in their behavior and values regardless of external factors. This authenticity is a key turn-on for women.

5. Pride and Accomplishment: A man who is proud of his life and accomplishments naturally exudes confidence, which is highly attractive to women. It’s about living authentically and being true to yourself.

In the next video, we’ll dive into why a woman might say she needs space and what that really means.

In my latest podcast episode, I get into my ongoing journey of upgrading the way I view my past self. This exploration began around earlier this year when I was deeply engrossed in drafting my memoir, which centers around my experiences entering the world of sex work. I reflect on a particular colleague, Camille, and how my initial description of her physical appearance was less than flattering. It took me 23 years to realize that my initial judgment of Camille was rooted in my own insecurities and need for perfection. This process has taught me the importance of looking at my past self with kindness and understanding.

#tarabrach

Get my free guide and Stop Dating Losers now!

Hey there! We're continuing our chat about the intriguing Five Finger Rule in this episode. You won't believe how setting some basic standards can totally change your dating game. I'm sharing insights from my unique journey, where my experiences as an escort turned into valuable dating lessons. From weeding out control freaks to avoiding emotionally needy folks, we'll cover it all. Plus, a sneak peek into the world of escort screening standards. Stay tuned for some real talk on dating and setting those standards.

 Get my free guide and Stop Dating Losers now!

In this episode, we're diving back into the five-finger rule, a simple but game-changing guide for dating. We'll break down each of the five criteria - dating doesn't have to be hard, y'all! You won't believe how this basic rule transformed my dating life and helped my friends too. Sometimes, it's the simple stuff that does the trick. I'll also share personal stories about how this rule played out in different cities. Also, lessons from my Madame on choosing good men. Keep an ear out for the next episode, it's coming your way soon. Thanks for tuning in!

Get my free guide and Stop Dating Losers now!

In this episode, I delve into my sex work past, reflecting on the decisions and patterns that shaped my dating history. With a mix of self-awareness and a touch of embarrassment, I share candidly about moments where I ignored red flags and engaged in relationships that didn't serve me. From navigating Austin's music scene to my quirky dating dynamic, I discuss the evolution of my understanding of self-worth versus self-confidence. Join me on this journey as I unravel the complexities of my dating habits, offering insights and lessons for anyone navigating the world of relationships.

Click here for my free guide to help you Stop Dating Losers!

www.sexloveandsoul.com/free-course

In this episode, we explore distinguishing between self-confidence and self-worth. From early social successes masking underlying insecurities to tumultuous relationships, I share very personal experiences. The realization that I wasn't a victim but a creator of my reality emerged during my time in sex work. This distinction transformed my approach to choices, relationships, and self-worth. Join me for a candid reflection on the path from seeking external validation to embracing authentic self-worth.

#jamiekernlima #edmylett

Lost that lovin' feelin? Take my free course and get those loving feelings back: www.sexloveandsoul.com/free-course

Get my free guide and Stop Dating Losers now!

Welcome to this episode, where we dissect the intriguing concept of relationship red flags. I share insights into how our perceptions of these warning signs can be subjective and vary from person to person. Drawing from my experience as a relationship coach and wife, I discuss the importance of distinguishing between quirks and genuine concerns when evaluating a potential partner.

Join me on this exploration of the intricate dance between expectations and reality in dating and relationships. Let's unravel the mysteries of red flags and empower ourselves to make informed choices in matters of the heart. Yeah!

Get Your Free Course and Get Your SEXY Back: www.sexloveandsoul.com

Get your free guide from me and Stop Dating Losers now!

Learn how to spot and date great guys!

Learn my no-nonsense approach, focusing on financial stability and steering clear of potential alcohol or substance issues.

Sharing a personal story, I recount a relationship that seemed picture-perfect by the rule's standards, only to unravel due to unexpected complexities, revealing the intricacies of modern dating.

www.sexloveandsoul.com - get my free course: How to Get Your Sexy Back! Get my free guide and Stop Dating Losers now!

What if I told you there’s no such thing as self-sabotage? Would you believe me? There is no dark part of your psyche trying to mess up your life!

This podcast explores the truth behind seemingly unproductive behaviors and what that critical voice inside your head is really trying to tell you.

Your inner critic isn't trying to punish you - it's trying to keep you safe. Our brain’s primary function is to keep us alive, equating the unknown with danger and the familiar with safety, even if that familiar space isn’t fulfilling. When you start feeling critical or picking fights, it’s not self-sabotage; it's a signal that you feel threatened. Understanding this response allows you to address your feelings with compassion rather than criticism, helping you work towards growth and change with a positive mindset.

Join me, Mary Knight, on "Sex, Love, and Soul," as we dive deep into understanding these protective mechanisms of our brain. We’ll uncover why we act out in ways that seem counterproductive and how to navigate these feelings to create healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Thank you for listening. If you enjoy this podcast, please rate, review, and share it with others who might benefit. If you have any questions or topics you’d like me to cover, reach out at mary@sexloveandsoul.com. I personally answer all my emails and would love to hear from you.

I’ll share actionable techniques you can use in the moment to quickly and effectively resolve triggers.

I’ll guide you through practical steps to move through your emotions and manage triggers with grace and a sense of control. These steps aren’t just theoretical; they’re based on my journey and the methods I’ve honed over the past 20 years. 

www.sexloveandsoul.com

mary@sexloveandsoul.com

How women use cheating as a relationship strategy...you read that right! If you're one of 'em you're not alone. Listen in for a more empowered way to cope with relationship b.s.

www.sexloveandsoul.com

mary@sexloveandsoul.com

In today's episode, we're diving deep into a topic that's as complex as it is common: infidelity. Drawing from my personal experiences, we're going to explore cheating from both perspectives—being cheated on and being the cheater.

My journey with infidelity started early, back when I was 19 and engaged to a man who was unfaithful throughout our relationship. But what shaped my understanding of infidelity more profoundly was my own history as a cheater. For many years, I struggled with fidelity, often finding myself in relationships where I stepped out. It wasn't until I retired from escorting and began to value real relationships that I truly understood the impact of my actions.

In this episode, I challenge the saying, "once a cheater, always a cheater." I believe change is possible if you're willing to put in the work. We'll discuss why people cheat, how to address these issues in a relationship, and the importance of self-reflection and commitment. I'll also share insights from my book, "How to Keep Your Man Out of My Bed," which offers strategies for preventing infidelity in an empowered way.

We'll delve into a pivotal moment in my life—a time when I almost fell into old patterns but chose a different path. I'll talk about how my current marriage to Bobby has thrived because of the commitment we've both made to honesty and communication. We'll explore how even fleeting thoughts of infidelity can be transformed into opportunities for deeper connection and understanding.

Through my story, I hope to provide a space for healing and understanding for those of you who may have faced similar challenges. Whether you've been unfaithful or been betrayed, you're not alone. Sharing our unsavory behaviors can help others heal and realize they're not alone in their struggles.

I'll wrap up by discussing the crucial role sex plays in maintaining a healthy, long-term relationship. If you're struggling with a lack of desire or connection, my free course "How to Get Your Sexy Back" might be just what you need. It's designed to help you reignite that spark, whether you're married, dating, or single.

Thank you for joining me today. Remember, you can always change, and you deserve to be happy and fulfilled in your relationships. Visit my website, sexloveandsoul.com, to access the free course and start your journey towards a more vibrant love life. Until next time, I love you, and thank you so much for being here.

#infidelity #cheating

Let's talk about sex and drugs! Today, I'm talking about the intricate relationship between dating, sex, and past experiences with drugs and alcohol. For many of us, the association between dating and intoxicants runs deep, stemming from our youth and popular culture. Even as mature, experienced women in our 50s, these associations can resurface unexpectedly, triggering feelings of anxiety and anticipation. We'll explore how these thoughts and feelings impact our dating experiences and discuss strategies for reframing our perspectives to approach dating with curiosity and excitement rather than dread. Through insightful discussion and personal anecdotes, we'll uncover the power of our thoughts in shaping our dating journeys and learn how to navigate them with confidence!

www.sexloveandsoul.com

Power struggle, anyone? Join me, Mary Knight, on a profound exploration of your personal journey towards freedom and connection. In this episode, we get into the transformative power of shedding the need to always be right. Through relatable anecdotes and introspective questions, discover how releasing the grip of righteousness can unlock authenticity and deeper relationships in your life. Whether you're navigating relationships, personal growth, or seeking greater self-awareness, this conversation offers practical insights to guide you on your path. Tune in now to embark on your own empowering journey of letting go and embracing vulnerability.

www.sexloveandsoul.com