Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast Sex Advice for Seniors Podcast

What I Discussed With Bruce & Judy

- What 22 years together has taught them about sex and intimacy.

- Why being able to talk openly about sexual desires becomes easier with maturity.

- How earlier marriages shaped their approach to relationships.

- The role of erotica, fantasy and sexual exploration in a monogamous relationship.

- Menopause, responsive desire and changes in libido.

- Why accepting rejection graciously can make intimacy easier.

- How kindness, humour and playfulness help couples stay connected.

Chapters

Show Notes

Can sex actually get better as you get older?

My guests, psychologist and couples therapist Dr. Bruce Chalmer and his wife Judy Alexander, have been together for 22 years. They also host Couples Therapy in Seven Words, where they explore what makes relationships work.

We talk about why sexual maturity can be an advantage, how their previous marriages influenced the relationship they have today, and what they've learned about communicating desires without fear of criticism or rejection.

Judy also shares how writing erotica has opened up another side of her sexuality, while Bruce explains why responsive desire, playfulness and simply being kind to each other can matter so much in long-term relationships.

Key Takeaways

- Sexual maturity can bring greater confidence and openness to intimacy.

- Couples can explore fantasies without necessarily acting on them.

- Responsive desire is just as valid as spontaneous desire.

- Being able to say and accept "no" without resentment helps build trust.

- Everyday affection and playfulness can keep sexual connection alive.

- Kindness and respect are important foundations for lasting intimacy.

About the Guest

Dr. Bruce Chalmer is a licensed psychologist and couples therapist with decades of experience helping people navigate relationships, intimacy and conflict. He is the author of several relationship books, including Reigniting the Spark and It's Not About Communication!

Judy Alexander is a former educator and school principal who writes erotica under the pen name Laria Zylber. Her book, The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible, explores desire through imaginative retellings of biblical stories.

Together, Bruce and Judy host Couples Therapy in Seven Words, sharing their professional and personal perspectives on relationships.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of Sex Advice for Seniors, a podcast for people who want to enjoy sex, intimacy, and connection at every age.

Through her podcast, newsletter, courses, and community, Suzanne challenges the idea that sex has an expiry date and offers honest, practical conversations about sexuality, ageing, relationships, and pleasure.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect With Bruce & Judy Here:

Couples Therapy in Seven Words https://couplestherapyinsevenwords.com/

Bruce Chalmer — Website, Books & Courses https://brucechalmer.com/

Judy Alexander / Laria Zylber https://lariazylber.com/

Couples Therapy in Seven Words on Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/couples-therapy-in-seven-words/id1517231158

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

The Simple Practice That Brought Intimacy Back After 20 Years — Elana Auerbach https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-waiting-to-feel-in-the-mood-doesnt

How to Ask for What You Want in Bed (and Get It) — Susan Bratton https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/episode-105-how-to-ask-for-what-you

Still Getting Real: Dr. Susan Campbell on Love and Sex in Your 80s https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/still-getting-real-dr-susan-campbell

What I Discussed With Andrea Feinberg

- Dating again in your 70s and discovering unexpected possibilities.

- Why younger men are attracted to older women.

- Sexual confidence, body image and feeling desirable.

- Reclaiming sexuality after years without intimacy.

- Dating apps, kink and exploring new experiences.

- Staying safe while dating online and setting boundaries.

- Why age doesn't have to determine what you do next.

- Reinvention, independence and creating a bigger life later in life.

Chapters

00:00 Sponsor: https://www.ohmibod.com/

00:27 Introduction

01:50 Dating Again in Your 70s

02:08 Andrea's First Experiences With Younger Men

03:22 A Renewed Sexual Life

04:22 Suzanne's Experience With Dating Younger Men

05:39 Why Younger Men Date Older Women

06:01 What Andrea Looks For in a Partner

07:22 Why Younger Men Are Attracted to Older Women

07:47 What Older Women Bring to Relationships

09:13 “Your Sexiest Years Begin at 70”

10:21 Body Confidence and Dating Younger Men

11:24 Feeling Comfortable in Your Own Body

13:28 Why Younger Men Can Be More Open About Desire

14:01 Sex, Desire and Personal Transformation

16:19 Exploring FetLife and Sexuality

17:20 Erotic Writing, Photos and Sexual Confidence

19:36 From Sexual Exploration to Wanting a Relationship

20:18 Dating Safety and Consent

21:31 Andrea's Approach to Safe Online Dating

22:29 Background Checks and Meeting in Public

25:27 Writing About Sex and Deciding What to Share

26:11 How the Book Came Together

28:18 Finding New Possibilities After 70

29:20 Can Age-Gap Relationships Last?

30:23 Looking for a Deeper Relationship

31:10 Age-Gap Relationships and What Makes Them Work

32:03 Older Women as Trailblazers

32:36 Why Andrea Wrote the Book

33:14 Reinventing Yourself and Rejecting Age Limits

34:42 Deciding What You Want Next

35:15 Independence and Confidence

36:44 Growing Up Without Shame Around Sex

37:57 Why Many Older Women Struggle With Sexual Confidence

38:47 What's Next for Andrea

39:35 A Possible New Book: The Bridge Club

40:40 Why Life Doesn't Get Smaller With Age

42:15 Closing

Show Notes

What happens when you start dating again in your 70s and discover that your sex life and sense of possibility are far from over?

Andrea Feinberg began dating again at 71 after years without intimacy. She found herself dating significantly younger men, exploring parts of her sexuality she hadn't expected to revisit, and eventually turning those experiences into her book, Sex, Sensuality, and the Senior Woman.

In this conversation, Andrea talks openly about younger men, sexual confidence, dating apps, kink, safety, reinvention and why she refuses to let the phrase "at my age" determine what comes next.

She is now looking for something more serious, but the bigger message remains the same: getting older doesn't mean your life has to get smaller.

Key Takeaways

- Dating and sexual exploration can happen at any age.

- Younger men may be attracted to older women for reasons that have little to do with age.

- Confidence can grow through new experiences and being seen as desirable.

- Online dating requires boundaries, patience and attention to safety.

- Reinvention doesn't have an expiration date.

- Your next chapter doesn't have to follow conventional expectations.

About the Guest

Andrea Feinberg is the author of Sex, Sensuality and the Senior Woman, a candid account of rediscovering dating, desire and sexual confidence in her seventies.

After 25 years as a business coach, Andrea has shifted her focus toward helping other senior women question the limitations placed on them as they age and explore what they still want from life, relationships and themselves.

Her work is rooted in curiosity, reinvention and the belief that getting older doesn't mean your possibilities have to get smaller.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of Sex Advice for Seniors, a podcast for people who want to enjoy sex, intimacy, and connection at every age.

Through her podcast, newsletter, courses, and community, Suzanne challenges the idea that sex has an expiry date and offers honest, practical conversations about sexuality, ageing, relationships, and pleasure.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect with Andrea

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/andreafeinberg

Sex, Sensuality and the Senior Woman — Apple Books https://books.apple.com/us/book/sex-sensuality-and-the-senior-woman/id6794138217

Sex, Sensuality and the Senior Woman — Red Penguin Books https://redpenguinbooks.com/sex-sensuality-and-the-senior-wo

Andrea also has two Substack publications: Erotica by Andrea Feinberg https://substack.com/@eroticabyandreafeinberg and Not Too Old for a Plot Twist https://substack.com/@andreafeinbergplottwist

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

Cindy Gallop on Dating Younger Men https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/episode-13-cindy-gallop-on-dating

The Dating Mistakes That Keep You Single After 40 | ft. Sandy Weiner https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-dating-mistakes-that-keep-you

Widowhood, Desire, and the Sexual Reawakening Nobody Talks About https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/widowhood-desire-and-the-sexual-reawakening

What I Discussed With Caroline Hood

- Why couples need to stay connected as lovers as well as parents.

- How motherhood can affect desire, identity and intimacy.

- Why women's desire may not disappear but simply get pushed aside.

- What happens when you're "touched out" from caregiving.

- How ageing and changing bodies can affect sexual confidence.

- Why communication matters when a couple's sexual dynamic changes.

- How women can reconnect with their sexual selves.

Chapters

Show Notes

Motherhood can change the way couples see themselves and each other. The shift from partners to parents can be gradual, and sex and intimacy can easily move down the list.

Caroline Hood, a sex therapist, clinical social worker and mother of three, talks about staying lovers alongside being parents, reclaiming desire, and what happens when caregiving and changing bodies affect the way we experience sex. Pasted text

We also talk about feeling "touched out," losing touch with your sexual identity, and why women shouldn't have to give up their sexuality simply because they are getting older.

Key Takeaways

- Becoming a parent doesn't mean losing your identity as a lover.

- Sexual intimacy often needs to be intentional, especially when life gets busy.

- Desire can be pushed aside without actually disappearing.

- Feeling "touched out" is something couples need to be able to talk about.

- Aging doesn't mean giving up pleasure or feeling desirable.

- Reconnecting with your sexual self can happen at any stage of life.

About Caroline Hood

Caroline Hood is a sex therapist and clinical social worker, as well as a mother of three. Her work focuses on desire, sexuality and relationships, drawing on both her professional experience and her own experience of motherhood and long-term partnership. She is also the author of the forthcoming book Sex Begets Sex: Reclaiming Desire as an Act of Female Empowerment.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of Sex Advice for Seniors, a podcast about sex, intimacy, pleasure, and relationships in later life.

Through her podcast, newsletter, and community, Suzanne challenges the idea that sex has an expiry date and encourages people to stay curious about their bodies and sexual wellbeing at every age.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect with Caroline

Website https://www.desireinreallife.com/

Substack https://substack.com/@desireinreallife

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/desireinreallife/

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_VhaAzddAiEuQO6Kgk051g

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

Why Couples Lose Desire (And How to Get It Back) | Dr. Anna Elton https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-couples-lose-desire-and-how-to

Why Sex Changes After 50 and What Nobody Tells You | ft. Dr. Jenn Kennedy https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-sex-changes-after-50-and-what

Why Women Lose Their Libido (And How to Get It Back) | ft. Pauline Ryeland https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/pauline-ryeland

What I Discussed With Gaylen Wilson

- How erectile dysfunction changed Gaylen's sex life and marriage.

- Why he believes men should take ED seriously rather than ignore it.

- How couples can stay connected when erections become unreliable.

- Why intimacy doesn't have to be centred around performance.

- How shame and withdrawal can damage relationships.

- The connection between ED, attachment and fight-or-flight.

- How Gaylen and Heather developed the Monument Method.

- Why lifestyle, fitness and overall health still matter.

Chapters

00:00 Sponsor: OhMiBod https://www.ohmibod.com/ + Introduction

01:58 Gaylen’s Experience With Erectile Dysfunction

03:33 Rebuilding Intimacy Through Serious Illness

04:34 Erectile Dysfunction and the Importance of Heart Health

06:02 Stroke, Viagra, and Cardiovascular Health

08:42 Sex Beyond Erectile Dysfunction

09:46 What Men With Erectile Dysfunction Struggle With

12:35 Porn, Performance, and Sexual Connection

14:06 When Erectile Dysfunction Leads to Withdrawal in Relationships

15:12 The “Tough Nut Letter”

16:11 Removing Shame and Facing Erectile Dysfunction Together

17:29 Attachment Theory and Relationship Safety

19:21 The Monument Method

20:13 Repairing Conflict and Rebuilding Connection

21:41 Why Some Men Withdraw After Developing Erectile Dysfunction

22:53 Why Erectile Dysfunction Can Have Many Causes

24:36 Beyond the “Blue Pill”: Lifestyle and Erectile Dysfunction

26:18 Erectile Dysfunction Treatments, Injections, and Long-Term Health

28:28 The Mission Behind the Monument Method

29:36 Healthy Aging, Exercise, and Intimacy

31:48 The Sanctuary Bond

33:26 Keeping Desire Alive After 20+ Years Together

34:31 Sobriety, Connection, and Personal Change

35:30 Keeping Long-Term Intimacy Alive

36:42 Outro

Show Notes

Erectile dysfunction can affect much more than sex. It can change confidence, intimacy and the way couples relate to each other.

In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, Suzanne talks with Gaylen Wilson, a heart transplant survivor, relationship author and founder of the Monument Method Institute. Gaylen shares his long experience with ED and how he and his wife stayed connected when serious illness changed what sex looked like in their marriage.

They also talk about what happens when shame causes men to withdraw, why sex doesn't have to be centred around performance, and how the Monument Method grew out of Gaylen and Heather's own experience of protecting their relationship through difficult periods.

Key Takeaways

- ED can affect a relationship as much as it affects sex.

- Intimacy can continue even when erections become unreliable.

- Shame and withdrawal can create additional problems for couples.

- Talking openly can help partners approach ED as something they can work through together.

- The Monument Method uses a shared cue to interrupt conflict and reconnect.

- Health, fitness and lifestyle are part of the wider conversation around sexual wellbeing.

About Gaylen

Gaylen Wilson is a heart transplant survivor, relationship author and founder of the Monument Method Institute. His work focuses on erectile dysfunction, intimacy, emotional safety and helping couples protect their relationships.

You can find Gaylen and Heather's work at Monument Method Institute. Their site describes the Monument Method as a relationship system built around interrupting destructive conflict, restoring safety and protecting the bond.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of Sex Advice for Seniors, a podcast about sex, intimacy, pleasure, and relationships in later life.

Through her podcast, newsletter, and community, Suzanne challenges the idea that sex has an expiry date and encourages people to stay curious about their bodies and sexual wellbeing at every age.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect with Gaylen

Website https://www.monumentmethodinstitute.com/

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/monumentmethodinstitute/

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@MonumentMethodInstitute

TikTok tiktok.com/@monumentmethod

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/share/1aXxBYJ9kw/

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

The Hidden Habits Destroying Men's Erections | ft. Tom Jenkins https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-real-cause-of-erectile-dysfunction

He Helped Invent Viagra: What's Next for Men's Sexual Health? | Dr. Arthur Burnett https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/he-helped-to-invent-viagra-whats

Toxic Masculinity in Men's Groups | Chris Hands

https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/episode-118-toxic-masculinity-in

What I Discussed With Rockne O'Leary

- How fitness can affect sexual performance, confidence and overall health.

- Why strength training and consistency become even more important as we age.

- How to start exercising again when you've been out of the gym for years.

- The connection between fitness, stress, lifestyle and sexual health.

- Why men need places where they can talk honestly about relationships and life.

- How Rockne's men's group is trying to create a space without judgment, including eventually bringing younger and older men together.

Show Notes

We often talk about fitness as something we do to look better. But as we get older, it becomes much more about staying strong, having energy, feeling confident and looking after the body we actually have.

In this episode, I talk with Rockne O'Leary, a sports performance coach, about fitness after 50 and the connection between exercise, confidence and sexual health. We talk about what happens when men stop training, how to start again after years away from the gym, and why consistency matters more than going all out.

We also get into something I found particularly interesting: men's groups. Rockne runs a virtual group where men can talk openly about relationships, stress, confidence and the things they don't always feel comfortable discussing elsewhere.

Key Takeaways

- You don't need to go all out. You need to find something you can do consistently.

- Fitness should give you energy rather than constantly leave you exhausted.

- Starting small can help build momentum.

- Sexual health isn't separate from the rest of your health.

- Asking for help can be the first step towards changing both your fitness and sex life.

About Rockne O'Leary

Rockne O'Leary is a sports performance coach whose work combines physical training with mindset, confidence and personal development. He also runs a men's group focused on creating a space for men to have more open conversations about relationships, personal challenges and growth. His fitness work includes strength, speed, power and athletic performance.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of Sex Advice for Seniors, a podcast about sex, intimacy, pleasure, and relationships in later life.

Through her podcast, newsletter, and community, Suzanne challenges the idea that sex has an expiry date and encourages people to stay curious about their bodies and sexual wellbeing at every age.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect With Rockne O'Leary

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rockoleary/

YouTube @youcantfoolyou

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/rockne.oleary/

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

What Most People Get Wrong About Sex and Ageing | Dr. Justin Lehmiller https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-hidden-shame-men-feel-about-sexual

The Hidden Habits Destroying Men's Erections | ft. Tom Jenkins https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-real-cause-of-erectile-dysfunction?utm_source=publication-search

Toxic Masculinity in Men's Groups | Chris Hands https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/episode-118-toxic-masculinity-in?utm_source=publication-search

What I Discussed With Dr. Maria Sophocles

- Why sexual burnout can happen in midlife.

- What menopause changes physically and sexually.

- Vaginal estrogen and why it can help.

- Spontaneous vs. receptive desire.

- The five M's for reconnecting with sexuality.

- Testosterone, “scream cream” and newer treatments for female sexual arousal.

- How GLP-1 medications may affect libido and sexual health.

- Practical ways to reconnect with sex and pleasure.

Chapters

00:00 Sponsor: OhMiBod + Introduction

01:38 What Is Sexual Burnout?

05:29 The Midlife Sexual MOT

08:19 The Orgasm Gap and the Clitoris

10:07 Why Women Fake Orgasms

12:32 Talking About Sexual Pleasure

13:47 Vaginal Estrogen After Menopause

15:06 Stress, Sleep and Loss of Desire

17:58 Spontaneous vs. Receptive Desire

20:47 The Five M's for Reconnecting With Desire

22:19 Testosterone and Scream Cream

24:56 New Treatments for Female Sexual Arousal

25:15 GLP-1s, Ozempic and Libido

28:51 Three Ways to Reconnect With Your Sexuality

30:11 The Midlife Sexual MOT

Show Notes

Menopause can change the way sex feels, but changes in desire, comfort and arousal don't have to mean the end of your sex life.

In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, Suzanne talks with Dr. Maria Sophocles, gynecologist, author of The Bedroom Gap, and women's sexual health advocate, about sexual burnout, menopause, vaginal estrogen, desire, orgasm and what women can do to reconnect with pleasure.

Key Takeaways

- Menopause can affect sexual comfort and desire, but there are ways to address these changes.

- Desire doesn't always have to come first; sometimes it develops after intimacy and stimulation begin.

- Vaginal health is an important part of sexual health after menopause.

- Stress, sleep, relationships and medications can all influence libido.

- Reconnecting with sexuality can start with small, practical changes.

About Dr. Maria Sophocles

Maria Sophocles is a gynecologist, author and public advocate for women's health. Her mission to close the gendered healthcare gap inspired her viral TED talk and book, The Bedroom Gap, about what happens to sex in midlife. Her efforts to provide access to contraception in New Jersey changed the state’s constitution. Her virtual clinic serves women in eleven US states and internationally. She is currently working on a documentary about sex and menopause. She is married with four grown children.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of Sex Advice for Seniors, a podcast about sex, intimacy, pleasure, and relationships in later life.

Through her podcast, newsletter, and community, Suzanne challenges the idea that sex has an expiry date and encourages people to stay curious about their bodies and sexual wellbeing at every age.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect With Dr. Maria Sophocles

Website https://mariasophoclesmd.com/

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmoad996Gk-PwijqRziGX5g

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/mariasophoclesmd/

The Bedroom Gap https://mariasophoclesmd.com/book/

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61572766203987&ref=NONE_xav_ig_profile_page_web#

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

Why Women Feel Completely Different After Menopause | Tanya Leake https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-women-feel-completely-different

Why Women Lose Their Libido (And How to Get It Back) | Pauline Ryeland https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/pauline-ryeland

Why Sex Changes After 50 and What Nobody Tells You | Dr. Jenn Kennedy https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-sex-changes-after-50-and-what

What I Discussed With Dr. Justin Lehmiller

- How men's sexual health and desire can change as they get older.

- Why erectile difficulties become more common with age and where Viagra fits in.

- Why sex toys can be useful for men and how to choose the right kind of stimulation.

- How to introduce sex toys into a relationship without making things awkward.

- What penis pumps can do for erectile difficulties and sexual function.

- Why masturbation and orgasm may have benefits beyond sexual pleasure.

Chapters

00:00 Sponsor: OhMiBod

01:46 How men's sexual function changes with age

04:27 Why men don't talk about sexual problems

05:46 Erectile difficulties and Viagra

07:28 Sex toys for men

09:03 Vibratory toys and penile health

12:43 Finding the right toy

14:53 Introducing toys into a relationship

18:01 Penis pumps and erectile difficulties

21:53 Sexual activity and aging

24:15 Sex, orgasms and cognitive function

25:42 Masturbation and better sleep

26:55 Choosing and caring for sex toys

28:59 Researching sex and aging

Show Notes

Men's sexual health changes as we get older, but that doesn't mean we stop being sexual.

In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I’m joined by Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and author of Tell Me What You Want, to talk about men's sexuality, aging, erections and pleasure.

We talk about what happens to sexual function as men get older, including erectile difficulties and changes in desire. We also get into sex toys, vibratory stimulation and penis pumps, and why these can be useful tools for men who want to explore different ways of experiencing pleasure.

We also talk about masturbation, orgasms and sleep, and some of the research around sexual activity and wellbeing as we age.

Most importantly, this is a conversation about taking some of the pressure out of sex and being willing to explore what works for your body at different stages of life.

Key Takeaways

- Sexual function and desire can change with age, but there is no single experience of aging.

- Erectile difficulties can have different causes and shouldn't automatically be viewed as an inevitable part of getting older.

- Sex toys can offer men different forms of stimulation and can be part of partnered sex.

- Penis pumps can be one option for men experiencing erectile difficulties.

- Masturbation and orgasm can be part of sexual wellness at any age.

- There is still a need for more research into men's sexual health and aging.

About Dr. Justin Lehmiller

Dr. Justin Lehmiller is a Senior Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute, author of the book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life, and host of the Sex and Psychology Podcast. Dr. Lehmiller is a much sought-after voice in the media on sexuality research and education. He has been interviewed by The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, and CNN, and he has appeared on dozens of international radio, podcast, and television programs.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of Sex Advice for Seniors, a podcast about sex, intimacy, pleasure, and relationships in later life.

Through her podcast, newsletter, and community, Suzanne challenges the idea that sex has an expiry date and encourages people to stay curious about their bodies and sexual wellbeing at every age.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect With Dr. Justin Lehmiller

Website https://www.sexandpsychology.com/

Instagram @JustinJLehmiller https://www.instagram.com/justinjlehmiller

TikTok @JustinLehmiller https://www.tiktok.com/@justinlehmiller

YouTube @JustinLehmiller https://www.youtube.com/@JustinLehmiller

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/psychologyofsex

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

He Helped Invent Viagra: What’s Next for Men’s Sexual Health? | Dr Arthur Burnett https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/he-helped-to-invent-viagra-whats

The Hidden Habits Destroying Men's Erections | ft. Tom Jenkins https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-real-cause-of-erectile-dysfunction

Men Who Fear Toys Have It Backwards | PhD Sexologist Explains https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/over-60-how-to-bring-toys-to-bed

What I Discussed With Mary Ellen Reider

- Why bladder leakage is common but should not be treated as an inevitable part of aging.

- What the pelvic floor is and why everyone has one.

- How childbirth, menopause, aging, weight, and other factors can affect pelvic floor strength.

- The connection between pelvic floor muscles, bladder control, sexual sensation, and orgasm.

- Why pelvic floor relaxation is just as important as strengthening.

- How the Yarlap device works and who may benefit from it.

- Why it is never too late to start caring for your pelvic floor.

Chapters

00:00 Sponsor: OhMiBod + Introduction to Mary Ellen Reider

01:40 What Is the Pelvic Floor and Why Does It Matter?

03:40 Why Bladder Leakage Is Common But Not Normal

05:46 How Pelvic Floor Weakness Affects Your Body

07:49 Introducing Yarlap: Pelvic Floor Training and Sexual Wellness

10:17 Why Pelvic Floor Exercises Are Difficult to Do Correctly

11:11 How Pelvic Floor Training Works Over Time

12:06 How Long Does It Take to See Results?

12:52 What Causes Urinary Incontinence?

14:12 How Bladder Leaks Affect Confidence, Dating and Intimacy

16:13 The Connection Between Pelvic Floor Strength and Orgasms

17:40 Female Sexual Wellness and Understanding the Body

19:51 Why Pelvic Floor Relaxation Matters Too

22:10 Understanding Pelvic Floor Tone: Too Tight vs Too Weak

25:00 Talking to Your Doctor About Pelvic Floor Health

26:46 It’s Never Too Late to Strengthen Your Pelvic Floor

28:21 Closing Thoughts: Removing Shame Around Women’s Health

28:57 Visit Sex Advice for Seniors

Shownotes

Bladder leakage is common, but that doesn’t mean you have to accept it as an unavoidable part of aging.

In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I speak with MaryEllen Reider, co-director of Yarlap, about pelvic floor health, urinary incontinence, sexual confidence, and what happens when those important muscles become weak or overly tight.

We talk about what the pelvic floor actually is, why both women and men have one, and how it supports the bladder, uterus, spine, and other parts of the body. Mary Ellen explains why leakage when you laugh, sneeze, exercise, or cough should not simply be dismissed as “one of those things” that happens after childbirth or menopause.

We also explore the connection between the pelvic floor and sexual pleasure, including why some women experience weaker orgasms or reduced sensation as their pelvic floor changes. And importantly, we discuss why relaxation matters just as much as contraction when it comes to pelvic floor function and intimacy.

MaryEllen explains how the Yarlap device is designed to support pelvic floor training, why Kegel exercises are not necessarily suitable for everyone, and why it’s important to understand whether your pelvic floor is weak, tight, or both.

Most importantly, this episode is about replacing embarrassment with information. Whether you’re dealing with bladder leakage, painful sex, reduced sexual sensation, or simply want to take better care of your body, it is never too late to start paying attention to your pelvic floor.

Key Takeaways

- Urinary incontinence is common, but it is not an inevitable part of aging.

- Everyone has a pelvic floor, and it supports both physical and sexual health.

- A weak pelvic floor may affect bladder control, posture, back pain, knee pain, and orgasmic sensation.

- A pelvic floor that is too tight may also cause pain and discomfort.

- Strengthening and relaxation are both essential for healthy pelvic floor function.

- Pelvic floor health can affect confidence, dating, intimacy, and sexual pleasure.

- It is never too late to ask a doctor about your pelvic floor.

About MaryEllen Reider

MaryEllen Reider is the co-director of Yarlap®, the wellness device to treat urinary incontinence and improve feminine performance and experience through muscle control. MaryEllen spends a lot of time researching and finding out what’s new in the pelvic floor world and the social media realm.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of Sex Advice for Seniors, a podcast about sex, intimacy, pleasure, and relationships in later life.

Through her podcast, newsletter, and community, Suzanne challenges the idea that sex has an expiry date and encourages people to stay curious about their bodies and sexual wellbeing at every age.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect with MaryEllen

Website https://yarlap.com/

Instagram @yarlap_otc https://www.instagram.com/yarlap_otc/

TikTok @yarlap_otc https://www.tiktok.com/@yarlap_otc

YouTube @yarlap_otc

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/yarlapwautokegel

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

Why Women Feel Completely Different After Menopause | Tanya Leake https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-women-feel-completely-different?triedRedirect=true

Why Women Lose Their Libido (And How to Get It Back) | Pauline Ryeland https://open.substack.com/pub/sexadviceforseniors/p/pauline-ryeland

What I Discussed With Amy Gabrielle

- How losing a partner can change our relationship with our body, identity, and desire.

- Why grief and pleasure can exist alongside each other after loss.

- Amy’s experience of rediscovering sexuality and confidence after becoming a widow.

- Dating after loss, including her experiences with dating apps and exploring new relationships.

- How women can reconnect with their own desires without shame or guilt.

- Why sexuality does not disappear as we get older.

- The difference between seeking connection, companionship, and emotional security.

- How society shapes the way women think about aging, relationships, and sexual expression.

- Why rebuilding a relationship with yourself can be an important part of healing.

- How honest conversations about sex and desire can create more freedom and confidence.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction: Amy Gabrielle on Desire After Loss

03:00 Losing a Partner and Rediscovering Desire

08:00 Dating After Loss and Starting Over

13:30 Sexual Desire, Relationships and Life After 50

18:00 What We Want From Relationships Now

22:00 Widow’s Fire: When Grief and Desire Meet

26:00 Sex, Aging and Challenging Expectations

30:00 Shame, Confidence and Accepting Your Body

34:00 Dating, Boundaries and Finding What Feels Right

37:00 Pleasure, Freedom and Owning Your Desire

40:00 Closing Thoughts and Amy’s Book Widow in the City

Shownotes

In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I’m joined by Amy Gabrielle, writer, digital creator, and author of Widow in the City.

After losing her husband to cancer, Amy found herself navigating grief, identity, and an unexpected return of desire. In our conversation, we explore what happens when loss changes the way we see ourselves, our bodies, and our relationships.

We talk about the complicated relationship between grief and pleasure, the experience of dating after loss, and what it means to rediscover yourself in midlife.

Amy shares openly about rebuilding confidence, exploring sexuality, and letting go of the shame that many women carry around aging and desire.

This is a conversation about much more than sex. It is about identity, healing, connection, and giving ourselves permission to continue growing and changing throughout life.

Key Takeaways

- Grief does not erase desire; both can exist at the same time.

- Rediscovering yourself after loss can be a powerful part of healing.

- Sexuality and intimacy continue to evolve as we age.

- Women deserve to explore their own desires without shame or judgment.

- Relationships after 50 do not have to follow traditional expectations.

- Confidence often comes from reconnecting with yourself first.

- Honest conversations about sex can help reduce shame and create deeper connections.

About the Guest

Amy Gabrielle is a writer, digital creator, and advocate for authentic self-expression in midlife women. Following her husband’s death from cancer, she began using memoir and social media to explore the complex intersection of grief and desire, cultivating a community of thousands drawn to honest conversations about life after loss. Her work appears in Absolute Pleasure on Substack, as well as Medium publications including The Memoirist and Slackjaw. She lives in New York City, where she enjoys photography, travel, and raising her son.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of Sex Advice for Seniors, a podcast for people who want to enjoy sex, intimacy, and connection at every age.

Through her podcast, newsletter, courses, and community, Suzanne challenges the idea that sex has an expiry date and offers honest, practical conversations about sexuality, ageing, relationships, and pleasure.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect with Amy

Website https://amygabrielle.com/

Instagram @amygabriellenyc https://www.instagram.com/amygabriellenyc/

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/amygabriellenyc

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

Sex and Dating when a Widower https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/episode-83-sex-and-dating-when-a?utm_source=publication-search

Dating After Loss: Redefining Love and Intimacy After Widowhood

https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/sex-grief-and-starting-over-dating?utm_source=publication-search

What I Discussed With Dr Jess O’Reilly

- Why sex toys can help couples adapt to changing bodies, arousal, and sexual needs as they get older.

- How introducing a toy can create novelty and playfulness in a long-term relationship.

- Why a sex toy is a tool for pleasure — not a replacement for intimacy or a partner.

- How smaller, simpler toys can make introducing them into a relationship feel less intimidating.

- Why toys can reduce performance pressure when erections, libido, or orgasm become less predictable.

- How self-pleasure can help women understand what they like and communicate it more clearly.

- Why desire doesn’t always come before arousal, particularly in long-term relationships and later life.

- How shame and embarrassment can stop older adults from talking openly about sex.

- Why conversations about sex don’t need to be perfect to be useful.

- How the Yes/No/Maybe checklist can help couples explore sexual interests together.

Chapters

00:00 Introducing Dr Jess O’Reilly and the conversation about sex toys

01:30 Why sex toys can improve intimacy in long-term relationships

02:34 The importance of novelty as our bodies change with age

04:36 Why some men feel threatened by sex toys

06:20 How toys can reduce performance pressure

07:14 Choosing versatile, accessible toys for different bodies

08:38 How sex toys open up better conversations

09:03 Using toys when erections or sexual performance are unreliable

10:30 Why pleasure matters more than performance

10:51 Choosing toys for different sensations and mobility needs

11:59 Why simple controls can make toys easier to use

13:58 The best couples’ sex toys for beginners

15:21 How air-pulse pleasure feels different from vibration

16:08 Understanding the clitoris and changing sensations

19:45 Why desire can begin after arousal

21:17 Learning to trust your body and your capacity for pleasure

22:47 Why satisfying sex and communication need to come first

24:06 Shame, aging, and the pressure placed on older women

25:20 Why talking about sex can protect long-term relationships

27:59 How to start a conversation about sex toys with your partner

30:52 A simple way to introduce a new toy without pressure

33:45 The Yes/No/Maybe checklist for couples

35:05 Dr Jess introduces the Womanizer Enhance

36:10 Where to find more from Dr Jess and Suzanne

Show Notes

I’ve always been fascinated by sex toys. I was first given one when I was a blogger in the early 2000s, and these days I have boxes of them perhaps more than I really need.

But sex toys aren’t just about novelty or having a large collection. They can be genuinely useful as our bodies change, especially when arousal takes longer, sensitivity shifts, or erections and orgasms become less predictable.

In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I’m joined by Dr Jess O’Reilly, a globally recognised sexologist and relationship expert. Jess has a PhD in human sexuality and has delivered workshops in more than 45 countries.

We talk about how couples can introduce sex toys without making either partner feel inadequate or threatened. We also discuss why starting with something simple can make all the difference, how toys can take the pressure off performance, and why pleasure should be viewed as a shared exploration rather than a test that someone has to pass.

Jess and I also talk about the changing nature of desire. Sometimes we don’t feel spontaneously “in the mood”, but that doesn’t necessarily mean our desire has disappeared. With patience, touch, communication, and the right kind of stimulation, arousal can sometimes come first and desire can follow.

We explore the role of masturbation, shame, sexual communication, and the importance of understanding what feels good in your own body before trying to explain it to someone else.

And if you’re not sure how to bring up the subject of sex toys with your partner, we have a simple suggestion: blame us. Tell them you heard about a product or idea on this podcast and ask what they think.

Key Takeaways

- Sex toys can help couples adapt to changing bodies and sexual responses.

- Introducing a toy does not mean that a partner is inadequate.

- The simplest toy is often the best place to begin.

- Pleasure and connection matter more than sexual performance.

- Desire may develop after arousal, rather than appearing beforehand.

- Self-pleasure can improve communication between partners.

- Talking about sex may feel awkward, but avoiding the conversation can create greater distance and resentment.

About the Guest

Jess O’Reilly is a sexologist & relationship expert (PhD, MSc) who has delivered thousands of workshops in 45+ countries. She’s the author of 5 books, host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast and a regular in media outlets ranging from Oprah Magazine and The Today Show to Playboy and Forbes.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of Sex Advice for Seniors, a podcast for people who want to enjoy sex, intimacy, and connection at every age.

Through her podcast, newsletter, courses, and community, Suzanne challenges the idea that sex has an expiry date and offers honest, practical conversations about sexuality, ageing, relationships, and pleasure.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect With Dr Jess O’Reilly

Website https://happiercouples.com/

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexwithdrjess/

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sexwithdrjess/

The Sex With Dr Jess Podcast https://happiercouples.com/podcasts/

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

Why Women Are Ashamed of Sex Toys | ft. Dr. Shamyra Howard https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-are-women-over-50-ashamed-of

Why Sex Changes After 50 and What Nobody Tells You | ft. Dr. Jenn Kennedy https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-sex-changes-after-50-and-what

What I Discussed With Eric M. Resnick...

- Why the swipe apps trained women to chase the dopamine hit of a match, and stopped everyone from looking at who they were actually matching with

- The one word Eric uses for Tinder and Bumble, and why he calls them exactly that

- What ChatGPT admitted to Eric, in its own words, about why it's bad at writing dating profiles

- Why my own list of dealbreakers might be doing more damage than the men on it

- The reason women over 50 still hesitate to message first, and why Eric says the men who get put off by it were never worth the risk

- What dating apps actually do to your visibility if you don't log in for two weeks

- Why a naked photo without a face has no value, and a naked photo with a face is a liability

- What made my late partner Bob's Tinder profile the most authentic one Eric's ever heard described to him

Chapters

00:00 – Sponsor spotlight: OhMiBod https://www.ohmibod.com/

00:20 – Introducing dating profile veteran Eric Resnick to tackle why most online bios fall completely flat.

02:17 – Looking back at how online dating evolved from early matchmakers to addictive swipe culture.

04:40 – The brutal swipe statistics between men and women that broke app dynamics.

05:40 – How meeting his wife on a niche site proves there really is someone out there for everyone.

06:14 – Reflecting on early dial-up dating sites and the modern shift toward casual hookup apps.

08:04 – Why incognito mode is a total game-changer for women navigating overwhelming inboxes.

09:07 – The biggest profile writing traps men fall into when trying to sell themselves.

10:05 – Why letting AI tools like ChatGPT write your dating bio completely kills authentic chemistry.

12:10 – Sponsor spotlight: GITM Playbook.

12:45 – The hidden danger of listing red flags and past relationship baggage on your profile.

15:40 – The hard truth about why dating success comes down to who you choose, not who chooses you.

17:00 – Why making the first move as a woman over 50 is an empowering shortcut.

18:03 – How dating app algorithms track daily logins and quietly lower your visibility.

20:50 – Why dystopian AI avatars and paid profile boosts keep daters hooked on the screen.

22:50 – Turning your profile into an authentic conversation starter instead of an empty checklist.

26:23 – Why a great dating profile acts as a window into your world rather than a sales pitch.

28:55 – The blunt truth about unsolicited photos and the golden rules of photo etiquette.

31:30 – Suzanne and Eric wrap up with key strategies for showing up authentically and finding connection.

Show Notes

I've been on dating apps since 2000, same as my guest this week. So when Eric Resnick, founder of ProfileHelper.com, told me he's read more than 40,000 dating profiles and consulted for the platforms themselves, I knew this was going to be a conversation I couldn't have with almost anyone else.

We started with how different online dating looked in 2000, back when it was Match.com and dial-up modems, and how Tinder changed everything the moment it made swiping possible without writing a word. Eric calls swipe apps a dopamine slot machine, and he means it literally: they train you to chase the feeling of a match, not the person behind it.

Then things got personal. I admitted my own profile has a list on it. Bad teeth, beer bellies, things I don't want. Eric didn't let me off easy. He explained exactly what that list has been doing to the men who read it, and why the healthiest ones see it as a red flag before they've even said hello.

We also got into why AI can't write a profile that means anything, because AI aims for the middle, and if you're acceptable to everyone, you're not special to anyone. And we talked about the algorithms themselves, the visibility rankings, the fear of missing out tricks, and why Eric thinks the newest AI matching features are the most dystopian thing he's seen yet.

This one runs a little short because I had to get to the theatre. Eric's already agreed to come back for a whole episode on photos.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- Swipe apps like Tinder and Bumble train people to chase matches, not connection. Eric calls them a dopamine slot machine.

- Lists of what you don't want in a profile read as unresolved baggage. Healthy matches see it as a red flag, not a filter.

- AI-written profiles fail because AI aims for the widest possible appeal, and being acceptable to everyone means being memorable to no one.

- Success on a dating app comes down to who you choose, not who chooses you, on any app with a search function.

- Dating apps use visibility tiers to keep you logging in daily, and some allegedly rank profiles by popularity.

- An authentic profile is a window into your world, not a sales pitch. Specific details invite conversation; vague ones don't.

- Never post nude photos. A photo without a face has no value, and one with a face is a blackmail risk.

- Women over 50 are often the most hesitant to message first, a habit Eric says has nothing to do with how it will actually be received by the right person.

About the Guest

Eric M. Resnick is the founder and lead profile advisor at ProfileHelper.com. He has worked with more than 40,000 individual daters since 2000 and has consulted for major dating platforms on what actually makes a profile work.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast, one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect with Eric M. Resnick

Website: https://profilehelper.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profilehelper

X: https://x.com/profilehelper

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

Why Dating Apps Fail Older LGBTQ Singles and What a Matchmaker Does Instead: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/hiring-a-matchmaker-as-a-gay-person

Breaking Taboos: Sex and Dating in Midlife: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/episode-154-from-taboo-to-truth-redefining

What I Discussed With Dr Shamyra Howard...

- What a man actually hears when his partner tells him she needs a toy to finish

- The three words she gives every couple before they open the box

- What happens to the clitoris once the estrogen goes, and why nobody warned us

- The one question to answer before you look at a single product

- What a manufacturer found when it stopped testing on twenty-five-year-olds

- Why she keeps a box of lube next to her desk and gives it away to everyone

- What a partner did with my vibrator that I have not stopped thinking about since

- The belief about women's sexuality after 50 she would destroy tomorrow

Chapters

00:00– Sponsor spotlight: https://www.ohmibod.com/

00:28 – Breaking the silence on why midlife intimacy is due for a serious upgrade.

02:06 – Looking at the outdated societal scripts and the hidden pleasure gap affecting mature women.

04:11 – Why physical body changes after 50 make intimate aids essential tools rather than afterthoughts.

05:10 – Why male partners often feel replaced by bedroom aids and the crucial mindset shift that changes everything.

07:54 – How to smoothly invite a hesitant partner to explore intimate devices together without making it awkward.

11:02 – The surprising clinical research showing how certain stimulation devices can actively reduce menopause symptoms.

12:18 – Choosing the right sensation when navigating internal versus external stimulation options.

13:53 – How targeted clitoral air technology is transforming arousal and natural blood flow in post-menopausal bodies.

15:07 – Sponsor spotlight: GITM Playbook http://gitmplaybook.com/SUZANNE20

15:53 – A compelling study on how regular orgasms can meaningfully protect and boost your mental health.

17:17 – Creative ways to use a multi-use massage wand across the entire full body's erogenous zones with a partner.

19:37 – Why investing in high-grade intimate wellness tools is just as essential as your regular self-care routine.

20:12 – The non-negotiable rule about pairing the right body-safe lubricants with medical-grade silicone.

22:04 – Overcoming the persistent stigma around dryness and why lubrication is basic physiology, not a personal failure.

24:04 – Combining topical solutions with daily bedroom habits to turn intimate comfort into a completely seamless experience.

25:50 – Letting go of performance anxiety and completely redefining what pleasure feels like after 50.

26:48 – The single most damaging myth about ageing women’s sexuality that needs to be completely dismantled.

27:31 – Wrapping up with community resources and practical ways to keep prioritising your intimate life.

Show Notes

Most women over 50 were handed a script that said sex was something we provide rather than something we receive. Then our bodies changed, nobody explained why, and we quietly decided the problem was us.

In this episode I'm joined by Dr Shamyra Howard, an award-winning sexologist and licensed therapist who founded On the Green Couch. She spends her working week with couples over 50 who cannot say one sentence out loud to each other, and she has heard every version of how that silence ends.

I told her something I do not say often. I need a toy about 80% of the time to get there. I have also been with a man who told me toys were not coming into his bedroom, and that put more strain on the relationship than the toy ever could have. Shamyra explained what he was hearing that I had no idea he was hearing.

She is just as direct about the industry. Most sex toy companies still design for the average twenty-five year old, and she names the two that stopped and started asking menopausal women what they actually want instead.

There is no clinical distance in this conversation and no coyness either. If sex has quietly got harder and you have been waiting for it to sort itself out, this is the episode that tells you what you are waiting on.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- The oral medications for men release the brakes. Sex toys do the same job for women, and Shamyra's line for partners who feel replaced is that tools don't compete, they assist. The toy is a teammate, not a rival.

- Estrogen, progesterone and testosterone all fall from around 50. Lubrication drops, clitoral sensation drops and arousal needs more input than it used to. Most male partners have never been told any of this, so they keep doing what always worked.

- Invite, don't surprise. Bring your partner into the decision before the toy arrives, frame it as an us thing rather than a me thing, and be clear that if pleasure matters to both of you, this is not optional.

- Do not start with the catalogue. Decide where you want the sensation first. Shamyra finds women over 50 are moving away from penetrative options and towards clitoral ones, which narrows hundreds of products to a handful.

- Womanizer and We-Vibe are running their market research with menopausal and post-menopausal women rather than twenty-five year olds. Womanizer reports that users of one of its pleasure air devices experienced fewer menopause symptoms, including poor sleep and irritability.

- Clitoral suction increases blood flow to the area, and blood flow is where the arousal problem sits. Plenty of women are not orgasming for the simple reason that they were never sufficiently aroused.

- A wand earns its price outside the bedroom. Neck, shoulders, feet, behind the knees, the inside of the thighs, and on a partner's body too. Shamyra treats good toys the way we treat hair and nails, as something worth paying for.

- Water-based lube only with silicone toys, or the material breaks down. Check the ingredients for glycerin. And needing lube is not a verdict on you or your partner. Wetness depends on hormones and arousal, and the hormones are leaving.

About the Guest

Shamyra holds a Doctorate in Social Work, she's an international award-winning Sexologist, Professor, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist who exposes people to what they're missing from intimacy, so they can have a great relationship and better sex!

She's a sexuality media maven featured in major digital and television productions, such as CNN, VOGUE, The New York Times, Peacock, OWN and many more, and she's the Founder of On the Green Couch, where she helps people manage sexual issues, create their best relationships, and have amazing sex.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast, one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect with Dr Shamyra Howard

Website: onthegreencouch.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexologistshamyra

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sexologistshamyra

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shamyralcsw/

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Lovehoney discount code ADVICE15 for the toys and lubricants discussed in this episode.

Related Episodes

Why Sex Changes After 50 and What Nobody Tells You | ft. Dr. Jenn Kennedy - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-sex-changes-after-50-and-what

The Surprising 69% of Women Unhappy in Sex... and How to Fix It | ft. Malia Lazu - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-surprising-69-of-women-unhappy

What I Discussed With Dr Arthur Burnett...

- Why the pill has never once started an erection, and what that means for the nights it did nothing

- The name he would give erectile dysfunction if he could rename it tomorrow

- What his lab found when they went looking for the same response in women

- Why the men who most want the pill to work are the ones it helps least

- What he thinks of a prescription that takes four clicks and no conversation

- The sentence surgeons skip before a prostatectomy, and why he takes the blame for it

- What he does when he finds his own name on a supplement bottle

- What he refuses to write a prescription for, no matter who is asking

Chapters

00:00 – Intro & Sponsor Spotlight (https://www.ohmibod.com/)

00:26 – Redefining Intimacy After 50: Welcoming Johns Hopkins Urologist Dr. Arthur Burnett

01:33 – Is Erectile Dysfunction Inevitable? Why Unreliable Erections Don’t Mean the End of Your Sex Life

02:18 – The Real Science Behind Viagra: What a Pioneering Researcher Wants Men to Know

04:29 – The Hidden Danger of Quick-Fix Online Prescriptions & Skipping Root Causes

07:24 – Removing the Shame: Why Men Must Stop Suffering in Silence

08:30 – Erectile Dysfunction as an Early Warning Sign for Heart & Vascular Health

10:19 – Does Viagra Work for Women? The Truth About Female Clitoral Blood Flow

12:31 – Sponsor Spotlight (GITM Playbook)

13:10 – Why the Blue Pill Doesn’t Work Without Mind-Body Synergy

16:23 – Rethinking Performance: Shifting Focus Beyond Penetrative Sex

17:06 – The Unspoken Trauma: What Doctors Often Miss in Prostate Cancer Care

19:39 – Innovations in Prostate Surgery: Preserving Nerve Function & Recovery

20:58 – Post-Surgery Rehabilitation: Do Vacuum Pumps & Therapy Devices Actually Work?

22:29 – How to Talk to Your Partner About Sexual Decline Without Losing Attraction

23:33 – Lifestyle Habits That Naturally Improve Blood Flow & Performance

24:30 – Nitric Oxide Supplements: Separating Hype from Real Medical Science

28:01 – Authentic Health: Ditching the “Marlboro Man” Myth & Taking Charge

Show Notes

Most men over 50 assume their erections changed because they got older. Dr Arthur Burnett has spent forty years trying to tell them otherwise, and for most of those years he has been shouting into the wind.

In this episode I'm joined by Dr Arthur Burnett, a urologist at Johns Hopkins, where he has worked for more than four decades. His laboratory did the discovery work in the late 1980s that made the blue pills possible. So I opened by asking him whether he regrets what men have done with them since.

Two of the men I loved died. Both of them started here, and I read it as age. One had diabetes and told me flatly that the pill wasn't working, and I believed him. Dr Burnett listened to that story and told me what had been going on inside that man's body while I was busy blaming the wrong thing entirely.

He is just as blunt about his own profession. He has watched surgeons treat the cancer and skip the man, and he does not exempt himself from it.

There is no shame in this conversation and no bravado either. If your erections have changed and you have been waiting quietly for them to sort themselves out, this is the episode that tells you what you are actually waiting on.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- The oral medications release the brakes on an erection. They cannot start one. Arousal has to be driven from the brain and the body first, which is why a man can take the pill, feel nothing, and wrongly conclude he is finished.

- Dr Burnett would call it penile vascular dysfunction. An erection runs on blood vessels, nerves and hormones, the same system that runs the heart, and it usually falters before anything else does.

- His lab found the same nitric oxide response in clitoral tissue. The mechanics are close to identical, but female arousal involves hormones and other factors, so one pill was never going to be the answer.

- Diabetes damages nerve and blood vessel tissue and behaves in the body almost like premature ageing. These men need more stimulus to drive the response, and the drugs work measurably less well for them.

- The online questionnaire skips the health workup. Erectile dysfunction should send a man for a full check, and Dr Burnett calls home delivery without a clinician an unfortunate development in his field.

- Nerve sparing surgery lifted recovery rates above zero. Surgeons now map the nerve pathways during the operation, man by man, though the results are still not where he wants them.

- He has little faith in nitric oxide supplements and has found his own name on products he knew nothing about. His position comes from society guidelines rather than his own opinion.

- Sleep, weight, smoking, movement, stress, cardiovascular health, checkups. He will not be asked for a miracle by a man smoking three packs a day, and says this layer comes

About the Guest

Arthur L. “Bud” Burnett II, MD, MBA, FACS, is a globally recognized Johns Hopkins urologist, researcher, Viagra Pioneer, and educator whose pioneering work in men’s health and erectile function has transformed care worldwide.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast, one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect with Dr Arthur Burnett

Website https://drarthurburnett.com/

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/dr.arthurburnett/

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@DrArthurBurnett

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DrArthurLBurnett/

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

The Hidden Habits Destroying Men's Erections | ft. Tom Jenkins https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-real-cause-of-erectile-dysfunction

Why Sex Changes After 50 and What Nobody Tells You | ft. Dr. Jenn Kennedy https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-sex-changes-after-50-and-what

What I Discussed With Pauline Ryeland...

- Why the brain turns your libido down on purpose, and what it thinks it's protecting you from

- The one thing men do on the sofa every night that women were taught never to do

- What Pauline said to a man in his early thirties who was booked in for his third Peyronie's operation

- The trauma technique that cleared decades of her own dental trauma after EMDR did nothing

- Where painful sex after menopause comes from, and what she reaches for before anyone mentions surgery

- The client whose daily panic attacks stopped after a single session

- Why I ended up shaking uncontrollably on a hypnotherapist's sofa, and what lifted afterwards

- The thing Pauline wants every woman doing from perimenopause onwards, and almost nobody is

Chapters

00:00 – Introduction & Sponsor Spotlight (OhMiBod)

00:26 – Episode Preview: Unlocking Midlife Passion & Somatic Sexology with Pauline Ryeland

01:30 – From Personal Healing to Intimacy Coaching: Pauline’s Journey

03:15 – Breaking the Silence: Why Seniors Are Reclaiming Their Sexual Wellbeing

05:40 – Somatic Sexology Explained: How Your Body Holds the Key to Pleasure

08:12 – Overcoming Midlife Libido Blockers & Emotional Disconnect

11:05 – Midlife Intimacy Guide (GITM Playbook Sponsor)

12:10 – Tantra & Sensual Touch: Redefining Intimacy Beyond Performance

15:45 – The Power of Pelvic Floor Awareness & Sacred Energy

19:20 – Navigating Body Image Changes and Self-Confidence After 50

22:50 – Simple Micro-Habits to Ignite Connection with Your Partner Today

26:15 – Vulnerability in Midlife Dating & Long-Term Relationships

29:40 – Closing Words: Why Desire Has No Expiration Date

Show Notes

Most women over 50 assume their libido went quiet because of their age. Pauline Ryeland says the brain switched it off deliberately, and she can usually tell you why.

In this episode I'm joined by Pauline Ryeland, a sexological bodyworker, tantra teacher and trauma specialist based in Queensland, Australia. She trained in NLP, hypnotherapy and the Havening technique, and calls herself a libido expert because that's what almost everyone arrives at her door with.

Pauline works hands-on with things most practitioners won't touch. Vaginal pain that women have been told to put up with. Peyronie's disease when urologists have run out of ideas beyond surgery. Sexual trauma that has been sitting in the body for decades.

She also told me about her own dental trauma, which EMDR couldn't shift and Havening cleared, and about the client who had ruled out having a baby because of daily panic attacks. I shared something from my own experience with hypnotherapy that I hadn't planned to.

Then there's the homework. It costs nothing, needs no partner, and most women have never once tried it. Men have been doing it on sofas for decades without giving it a second thought.

If your libido has gone quiet, this episode is proof it doesn't have to stay that way.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- Your libido didn't fail. If sex has hurt, the brain turns desire down to keep you away from the pain, and it doesn't turn back up on its own.

- Havening is touch-based and gentle. You stroke your own arms while you talk, and score the memory out of ten as you go.

- Pauline scored her childhood dental trauma at 10. Afterwards she could feel her brain hunting for it and coming back empty.

- Vaginal pain is treatable. Pauline maps the whole area on a 0 to 10 scale, never pushing past a 4, and pain usually halves by the next session.

- Castor oil builds elasticity and collagen in the vaginal wall. She wants women using it weekly from perimenopause, not after sex has become painful.

- Peyronie's disease is not only an older man's condition, and surgery is not the only route. One client cancelled his third operation.

- Nothing sticks in under 28 days. Miss a day of the practice and you start again. Most clients need five to eight sessions, a fortnight apart.

- Sit with a hand down your pants and do nothing with it. No touching, no goal. It rebuilds the pathway between brain, heart and genitals, which for most of us are living in separate post codes.

About the Guest

Pauline Ryeland, Intimacy Whisperer ® works as an Intimacy, Sex & Libido Coach & Educator. She is certified as a Somatic Sexological Body Worker, Tantra Teacher & Facilitator and a Master Trainer & Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Advanced Subconscious Reprogramming, Errikson Hypnotherapy, a Results Coach & Performance Consultant and a Havening Techniques™ Trauma Specialist

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Connect with Pauline

Website: www.paulineryeland.com

Instagram: www.instagram.com/intimacywhisperer

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/IntimacyWhisperer/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@IntimacyWhisperer

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

69% of Women Unhappy in Sex... and How to Fix It - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-surprising-69-of-women-unhappy

Why Women Feel Completely Different After Menopause | Tanya Leake - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-women-feel-completely-different

What I Discussed With Dr Anna Elton...

- Why the word desire gets confused with arousal, and how mixing them up keeps couples stuck for years.

- The uncomfortable truth about the "spontaneous" desire I felt at 25, and why Anna says I actually worked for it.

- What 700+ couples taught Anna about why some marriages stay passionate for decades while others go quiet.

- Where my erotic energy goes when it stops flowing toward a partner (it doesn't just vanish).

- The three personas every partnered person juggles, and the one that quietly starves first.

- The couple who ate out "all the time" but hadn't been on a real date in ten years.

- Why I hated being the default planner in my relationships, and Anna's fix for the "I don't know, what do you want to do?" dynamic.

- The 20 second habit that took one couple from a sexless marriage back to wanting each other.

- What actually kept Anna and her high school sweetheart flirting after 25 years and three kids.

Chapters:

00:00 – Introduction & Sponsor Spotlight (OhMiBod)

00:26 – Understanding Midlife Desire with Dr Anna Elton

01:27 – Lessons from 25 Years Together: Clinical Research Meets Personal Reality

03:00 – Why Young Couples Suffer From Sexless Marriages

03:36 – The Brain Chemistry of Intimacy: Desire vs. Physical Arousal

04:35 – Spontaneous vs. Responsive Desire Explained

05:34 – Rethinking ‘Spontaneous’ Spark in Long-Term Relationships

07:01 – The Myth of Youthful Passion & Hormonal Shifts Over Time

09:07 – Restoring Novelty: The A-to-Z Date Night Framework

10:56 – Sponsor Spotlight (GITM Playbook)

11:42 – Creating Mystery & Seeing Your Partner Through a New Lens

13:05 – The Power of ‘Consensual Uncertainty’ in Midlife Dating

13:44 – Overcoming the ‘Planner Dynamic’ & Resentment in Relationships

15:32 – The Three-Step Coaching Technique to Encourage Partner Effort

17:00 – Desire Diversion: Where Does Erotic Energy Go When It Leaves the Bedroom?

18:50 – Balancing the Three Personas: Individual, Couple, and Family

20:17 – Defining a ‘Sexless Marriage’ & The Impact of Parental Stress

23:05 – What Long-Term Couples Do Differently to Keep the Flame Alive

24:04 – Social Penetration Theory: Why Deeper Communication Drives Physical Connection

25:58 – Micro-Habits for Reconnection: The 20-Second Rule

27:12 – Can High School Sweethearts Last a Lifetime?

28:30 – Closing Thoughts & ‘The Formula of Desire’ Book Release Details

Show Notes

Desire in long-term relationships is one of the most misunderstood topics I cover on this show, so I went straight to someone with the data.

In this episode, I'm joined by Dr. Anna Elton, a licensed marriage and family therapist and clinical sexologist who has spent more than 15 years researching desire with over 700 couples. Her new book, The Formula of Desire, grew out of a question she couldn't shake: why were she and her high school sweetheart still flirting after 25 years while couples half their age were arriving at her practice in sexless marriages?

Anna dismantled something I'd believed my whole life. That electric, out-of-nowhere desire I remember from my younger years? She says it was never spontaneous. I put the work in without realising it, and that changes everything about how couples in later life can get desire back.

We also get into where erotic energy actually goes when it leaves a relationship, because according to Anna's research, it doesn't fade. It moves. And I share something from my own marriage that made this whole conversation personal.

If your relationship has gone quiet, this episode is proof it doesn't have to stay that way.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- Desire is psychological, and arousal is physiological. Losing one doesn't mean losing the other.

- Spontaneous desire is really well orchestrated desire.

- A sexless marriage means sex ten or fewer times a year, and it's happening to couples of every age.

- Desire doesn't disappear from a relationship. It redirects toward kids, careers or someone else.

- We each juggle three personas: individual, couple and family. The couple persona is the one that gets starved.

- New experiences together let you see your partner through fresh eyes, whether that's salsa dancing or axe throwing.

- Small consistent habits beat grand gestures. Daily check-ins, 20-second hugs and flirty rain checks keep desire alive.

- Just knowing your partner desires you is often enough to feel satisfied in a relationship.

About the Guest

Dr. Anna Elton, LMFT, CST, is a licensed marriage and family therapist, clinical sexologist, speaker, and author of The Formula of Desire. With more than 15 years of experience and research involving over 700 couples, she specialises in helping people understand desire, intimacy, attraction, and long-term relationships. Her expertise has been featured in TIME, Reader's Digest, Psychology Today, and on PBS, ABC, FOX, and NBC.

Her new book, The Formula of Desire, is out in the US in early August and in the UK and Europe on 24 September, available on Amazon and in all good bookshops.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

Why Long-Term Couples Drift Apart—and the Simple Habit That Brings Them Back - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-couples-lose-the-spark-and-howThe Surprising 69% of Women Unhappy in Sex... and How to Fix It - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-surprising-69-of-women-unhappy

Sex, Chocolate & Midlife Desire: How to Reclaim Your Pleasure in Menopause with Dr. Kelly Barron - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-sex-changes-after-menopause-an

What I Discussed With Dr. Kelly Barron...

- How chocolate and sex have always been linked, and the herbs Kelly uses to make that connection real.

- Why menopause changes my sex life without ending it, and what "designing a new sexual life" actually means.

- The physical and emotional signs that show up when I feel disconnected from my own body at this stage of life.

- Why so many women assume there must be a pill for low libido, when the real fix starts with removing pressure and giving myself grace.

- The generational silence around sex after 50, and why celebrities like Madonna never talk about what's really going on.

- What responsive desire is, and why it takes longer to get in the mood now than it did in my 40s.

- Why scheduling sex and building rituals makes intimacy better, not less exciting.

- The lingerie storytelling moment that taught me how anticipation can transform a night.

Chapters:

00:00 – Introduction & Sponsor Spotlight (https://www.ohmibod.com/)

00:23 – Why women love chocolate: Science, Pleasure & Midlife Wellness

01:42 – The Story Behind Dr. Kellfire’s Functional Chocolates for PMS, stress & libido

06:10 – Sensory Experiences: Connecting Taste, Touch, and Intimacy

08:00 – The Midnight Carnival: Making Sexual Wellness Fun & Playful

09:20 – From Chiropractor to Sexologist: Dr. Kelly’s Holistic Approach to Menopause

12:45 – Overcoming Body Image Struggles & Reclaiming Confidence After 50

14:31 – Midlife Intimacy Guide (GITM Playbook Sponsor)

15:02 – Taking Pressure Off the Bedroom: Body Awareness & Sensate Touch

16:16 – Where Are the Older Sexual Role Models? Calling Out Media Double Standards

19:46 – Midlife Dating Realities: Younger Men, Age Gaps & Finding Real Connection

25:18 – Mastering Responsive Desire: How to Set the Mood for Better Sex

26:23 – The Power of Scheduling Sex: Erotic Storytelling & Building Anticipation

30:59 – Dating with Boundaries: Knowing What You Want & Vetting Partners

34:04 – Desire Doesn’t Retire: Evolving Your Sex Life in Midlife and Beyond

34:53 – Episode Wrap-Up & Show Notes Links

Show Notes

I love chocolate, and I love talking about sex, so when I found a chocolate brand designed to support women's libido, I knew I had to bring the person behind it onto the show.

In this episode, I'm joined by Dr Kelly Barron, a chiropractor, certified menopause specialist and sexologist based in Charleston, South Carolina, and founder of Dr Kellfire's, a chocolate brand formulated with herbs like fenugreek, maca and ashwagandha to support desire, mood and connection. Kelly and I talk about how her work with pregnant and perimenopausal women eventually led her into sexology, and why so many of her clients could get through hot flashes and brain fog, but not the disappearance of their sex drive.

What I love about this conversation is how honest it gets. We talk about why menopause isn't the end of my sex life, just the end of the sex life I used to have. We talk about why the media and celebrities like Madonna stay completely silent about what's actually happening in their intimate lives after 50. And we land on one of Kelly's most freeing insights: that at this stage, most of us have shifted from spontaneous desire to responsive desire, and that's not a loss; it's just a different starting point.

Whether I'm partnered, dating or figuring things out on my own, this episode is full of practical ideas I can actually use. Including one of my own tricks: making a partner tell me a story before I send a single photo.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- Chocolate formulated with the right herbs can genuinely support mood, desire and connection.

- Menopause changes my sex life, but it doesn't end it. It's a chance to redesign it on my own terms.

- Body disconnection at this stage often shows up as confidence dips, not just physical symptoms.

- There's no single pill for low libido. Removing pressure and building body awareness comes first.

- Celebrities and the media rarely tell the truth about sex after 50, which leaves most of us with no real role models.

- Desire shifts from spontaneous to responsive with age, and that requires more ritual, not less spontaneity.

- Scheduling sex and building anticipation can make intimacy more exciting, not more routine.

- Storytelling, texting and drawing things out can reignite desire more than a straightforward photo or invitation ever could.

About the Guest

Dr Kelly Barron is a chiropractor, certified menopause specialist, strength and conditioning specialist, and certified sexologist based in Charleston, South Carolina. She is the founder of Dr. Kellfire's, a chocolate brand created to support hormone balance, desire and pleasure, with formulas designed for both women and couples.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

The Simple Practice That Brought Intimacy Back After 20 Years: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-waiting-to-feel-in-the-mood-doesnt

Why Long-Term Couples Drift Apart, and the Simple Habit That Brings Them Back: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-couples-lose-the-spark-and-how

Bonus Live: The Relationship Lesson That Ends So Much Conflict: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/bonus-live-the-relationship-lesson

What I Discussed With Dr. Jenn Kennedy...

- The two problems that bring most couples over 50 into sex therapy, and why embarrassment keeps them away for so long.

- Why an unreliable erection doesn't mean the end of pleasure, and what "pivoting" actually looks like in bed.

- The surprising sensitivity of a soft penis, and why porn has left us all badly under-educated.

- Why sex that "feels like sandpaper" is so common after menopause, and the fixes that work within weeks.

- The generational reason women over 50 feel funny about keeping lube by the bed.

- Why the low-desire partner usually doesn't dislike sex. She dislikes the sex she's having.

- How pressure turns desire into obligation, and what brings real desire back instead.

- The two words that reignite relationships after decades together.

Episode Chapters

00:00 Why couples feel embarrassed to talk about sex problems

00:28 The missing word in long-term intimacy: curiosity

03:41 The most common issues couples bring to sex therapy

05:10 When people see a doctor first vs a sex therapist first

06:44 What ageing does to sex, erections, and desire

08:32 How to work with what still feels good

09:17 Why shame shuts down sexual connection

11:02 Why men struggle to move beyond penetrative sex

12:35 Practical tips for unreliable erections

13:49 Sensitivity, softness, and new ways to think about pleasure

16:01 Vaginal dryness, pain, and vaginal atrophy

17:32 Lube, suppositories, and vaginal estrogen

20:25 Why women over 50 still feel shame about needing lube

21:09 The biggest mistake couples make with mismatched desire

23:30 Why relational connection matters more than mechanics

26:08 How curiosity helps long-term couples rediscover intimacy

27:59 The power of asking questions and listening

31:52 Dr. Jenn Kennedy’s Pleasure Project course

Show Notes

Is it okay to say things aren't working in the bedroom? That's the question, according to my guest, that couples are silently asking as they walk into her office. Erections that have become unreliable. Sex that hurts. Desire that seems to have packed up and left. Most people wait years before saying any of it out loud.

In this episode, I'm joined by Dr Jenn Kennedy, clinical sexologist, licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of The Pleasure Project in Santa Barbara. Jenn works with couples and individuals in their 50s, 60s and beyond, and she's refreshingly frank about what she sees: bodies that change with age, partners drowning in shame about it, and simple fixes that nobody has bothered to tell them exist.

What I love about this conversation is how practical it gets. We talk about what to do in the actual moment an erection doesn't arrive. We talk about vaginal estrogen, the treatment that clears up painful sex in weeks, and why so many women have never heard of it. And we land on Jenn's most freeing insight: the partner who has "gone off sex" usually hasn't gone off sex at all. She's gone off sex where her pleasure comes last.

Whether you're partnered, dating or somewhere in between, this episode is full of things you can actually use. Including, for the men, the simplest question in the entire universe. Ask it daily. Then listen to the answer.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- Dysfunction and dissatisfaction are the two main reasons couples over 50 seek sex therapy.

- Pivoting to what feels good keeps shame out of the room, and often brings things back.

- Sensitivity doesn't disappear with an erection.

- Painful sex after menopause is common, treatable and nothing to be ashamed of.

- Lube is not a failure.

- Vaginal estrogen can transform painful sex in weeks, yet many women are never told about it.

- Pressuring a low-desire partner creates obligation, not desire.

- The low-desire partner often enjoys sex.

- Desire lives in play, curiosity and banter, not in routine.

About the Guest

Dr. Jenn Kennedy is a clinical sexologist and LMFT specialising in sex and couples. In 2023, Dr. Jenn launched The Pleasure Project, which is dedicated to helping us all have a better sex life.  She hosts a podcast called Pleasure Project: Sex & Relationships and offers small group intensives for women and couples. She recently launched a self-guided intimacy course for women and owns a 9-person group therapy practice called Riviera Therapy. Dr Jenn has been quoted in Redbook, Reader’s Digest, Forbes Health, DailyOm, Shondaland, Parade, Allure, Yahoo!, and others. She is often tapped to discuss intimacy and sexuality for therapists and physicians.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

Why Long-Term Couples Drift Apart, and the Simple Habit That Brings Them Back: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-couples-lose-the-spark-and-how

The Simple Practice That Brought Intimacy Back After 20 Years: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-waiting-to-feel-in-the-mood-doesnt

Bonus Live: The Relationship Lesson That Ends So Much Conflict: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/bonus-live-the-relationship-lesson

What I Discussed With Aine Rock…

- Why having the "perfect" life on paper doesn't always mean you're living the life you truly want.

- The surprising difference between being happy, being comfortable and feeling genuinely alive.

- Why losing intimacy often starts long before couples stop having sex.

- How reconnecting with pleasure can become the first step towards rebuilding your entire life.

- Why women often don't know what they want in bed—and how to begin discovering it.

- What happened when Áine and her husband experimented with opening their marriage before deciding to separate.

- Why small daily pleasure practices can create profound shifts in confidence, creativity and relationships.

- How learning to say both "yes" and "no" transforms intimacy at every stage of life.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:20 What Does It Mean to "Blow Your Life Up"?

04:00 Happy on the Outside, Lonely on the Inside

07:00 Opening a Marriage—or Ending It?

11:00 Rediscovering Yourself Through Dating

16:00 Why Women Struggle to Express Desire

20:00 What Is Erotic Alchemy?

24:00 Reclaiming Pleasure Without Leaving Your Life

28:00 Self-Pleasure, Rituals and Knowing Your Body

33:00 Final Thoughts on Living More Fully

Show Notes

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "Is this really all there is?" Not because your life is falling apart, but because everything looks fine on the surface—and yet something inside you feels quietly disconnected.

It's a question many people never admit out loud, particularly women who have spent decades caring for partners, children and everyone else before themselves. When you've built the life you thought you were supposed to want, it can be deeply unsettling to realise you're still longing for something more.

In this episode, I'm joined by author and coach Áine Rock, whose new book Blow Your Life Up explores what happens when we stop living by other people's expectations and begin listening to our own desires. After leaving a long marriage, Áine embarked on a journey of rediscovering pleasure, intimacy and identity—not simply through dating, but by learning to understand herself in an entirely new way.

What I love about this conversation is that it isn't really about leaving a marriage. It's about asking better questions. What brings you joy? What makes you feel alive? What have you been putting off because you've convinced yourself it's too late—or because you've spent so long putting everyone else first?

Whether you're happily partnered, recently divorced or simply wondering what your next chapter might look like, this episode is a gentle reminder that pleasure isn't selfish. It can be the beginning of coming home to yourself.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- Feeling unfulfilled isn't the same as being unhappy.

- Long-term relationships can lose emotional and sexual intimacy without obvious conflict.

- Reconnecting with your own desires often starts before reconnecting with a partner.

- Pleasure is about much more than sex—it includes creativity, rest and self-expression.

- Opening a relationship isn't always the answer if deeper intimacy is missing.

- Learning what you want requires curiosity and practice.

- Clear communication about pleasure creates better intimacy.

- Self-pleasure can help women better understand their own bodies.

- Small rituals can reconnect you with your sense of aliveness.

- It's never too late to redesign your life around what truly matters.

About the Guest

Áine Rock is an author, coach and facilitator who describes herself as the Modern Priestess of Pleasure. Through her writing, workshops and coaching, she helps women reconnect with desire, pleasure and authentic self-expression after years of living according to expectations rather than personal truth. Following the end of her 15-year marriage, Áine developed a body-centred approach to helping women rediscover intimacy, confidence and what she calls their "erotic aliveness". Her latest book, Blow Your Life Up: The Wild Art of Wanting More, explores how listening to desire can become a catalyst for profound personal transformation.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

Bonus Live: The Relationship Lesson That Ends So Much Conflict - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/bonus-live-the-relationship-lesson

Why Long-Term Couples Drift Apart—and the Simple Habit That Brings Them Back - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-couples-lose-the-spark-and-how

The Simple Practice That Brought Intimacy Back After 20 Years - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-waiting-to-feel-in-the-mood-doesnt

What I Discussed With Malia Lazu…

- Why so many women spend years putting everyone else's needs before their own—including in the bedroom.

- What the "pleasure gap" reveals about women's sexual satisfaction and why the issue goes far beyond orgasm.

- How shame, social conditioning and unrealistic expectations stop women from asking for what they truly want.

- Why learning what gives you pleasure is the first step towards better intimacy with a partner.

- How creating emotionally safe spaces allows women to explore sexuality without judgement.

- Why being single, child-free or choosing unconventional relationships can be deeply fulfilling later in life.

- How letting go of outdated ideas about ageing can open the door to greater confidence, curiosity and sexual freedom.

- Why stopping the habit of "faking it" could transform not only your sex life, but your relationship with yourself.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:10 Why Malia Created Sunflower Spa

04:30 The Pleasure Gap and Why Women Fake Orgasms

08:00 Shame, Safety and Talking Honestly About Sex

12:30 Why Women Need Spaces to Learn from Each Other

15:30 Challenging Myths About Sexuality After 50

18:00 Being Child-Free, Single and Sexually Confident

22:00 Decentring Men and Redefining Relationships

27:00 Why Self-Pleasure Builds Better Relationships

32:00 Final Reflections: Grace, Purpose, Power and Pleasure

Show Notes

Who told us that getting older meant becoming quieter, less visible or less interested in pleasure?

For many women, the second half of life brings an unexpected opportunity—not simply to rethink relationships, but to rethink the stories we've been telling ourselves for decades. Stories about worthiness, desire, ageing and what we're supposedly allowed to want.

In this episode, I'm joined by entrepreneur and community organiser Malia Lazu, founder of Sunflower Spa, a women-centred space dedicated to healing sensuality, confidence and belonging. Rather than seeing pleasure as something frivolous or self-indulgent, Malia argues that it's deeply connected to how we value ourselves and the choices we make throughout our lives.

Together we explore why so many women continue to fake satisfaction, remain silent about their needs or feel guilty for putting themselves first. We also discuss what happens when women begin to challenge those assumptions—whether that means exploring self-pleasure, embracing life without children, questioning traditional relationship expectations or simply becoming more honest about what feels good.

What stayed with me most is the reminder that pleasure isn't really the destination. It's often the by-product of feeling safe, respected and fully present in your own body. And perhaps that's something we become better at as we age—not despite getting older, but because of it.

Because the greatest freedom may not be finding someone else to choose us. It may be finally choosing ourselves.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- Pleasure begins with self-awareness, not with a partner.

- Many women fake satisfaction because they struggle to communicate their needs.

- Emotional safety is essential for fulfilling intimacy.

- Social conditioning continues to shape women's sexuality throughout life.

- Self-pleasure helps people understand what they genuinely enjoy.

- Relationships shouldn't leave you emotionally exhausted.

- Growing older creates opportunities to redefine intimacy and partnership.

- Being single or child-free can be deeply fulfilling.

- Honest communication benefits both partners.

- Self-worth and sexual confidence are closely connected.

About the Guest

Malia Lazu is an entrepreneur, community organiser and the founder of Sunflower Spa, a women-centred community focused on healing, sensuality and belonging. After years leading businesses and working with major organisations, Malia shifted her focus towards creating spaces where women can explore pleasure, identity and self-worth without shame or judgement. Through workshops, community events and educational resources, she encourages women to reconnect with themselves, embrace authentic relationships and redefine what fulfilment looks like at every stage of life.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

Bonus Live: What Great Sex Looks Like After 50 - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-sex-advice-738

Bonus Live: Does Pleasure Really Get Better With Age? - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-and-avivah

Desire Doesn't Retire: The Secret Sex Lives of People Over 60 - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/getting-down-and-dirty-with-kathy

I keep hearing the same story from people who are looking for love later in life: they want a relationship that feels good, but they’re not always sure how to tell the difference between real compatibility and a temporary rush of attraction.

In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I speak with dating and relationship coach Sandy Weiner, chief love officer at Last First Date, TEDx speaker, author of Choice Points in Dating, and host of the Last First Date podcast. We talk honestly about why so many people second-guess themselves in dating, why the spark can be misleading, and how to build a relationship that actually lasts.podcastmarketingmagic.

What Sandy shares is practical, refreshing, and deeply useful for anyone navigating dating after 40, 50, or 60. We get into attachment styles, self-trust, boundaries, and the difference between chemistry that fizzles and connection that grows over time.

Getting started with sex toys?

GITM PLAYBOOK has a fabulous range of toys, plus a handy guide to help you pick the ones that suit you best.

Use my code: SUZANNE20 for 20% off.

ABOUT SUZANNE:

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast, one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

CONNECT WITH SUZANNE:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

WANT MORE?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Follow Sandy Here:

Website https://lastfirstdate.com/

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/lastfirstdate

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lastfirstdate1

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@Lastfirstdate

Chapters:

0:00 Chemistry vs compatibility in dating after 50

1:16 Meet Sandy Weiner, dating coach and founder of Last First Date

2:37 How dating motivation changes for women vs men after 40

3:09 Why women over 50 second-guess themselves in dating

7:38 How long does it take to really know someone you're dating?

8:04 What it means to be a woman of value in later life dating

9:35 How to identify your non-negotiables and real deal breakers

10:08 Sandy's three pillars for confident dating

10:41 Why your values get flexible when you like someone (and what to do about it)

12:46 Dating in your 50s vs your 20s and 30s: what actually changes

13:20 How to state your standards early without being difficult

14:10 Why chemistry is harder after 50 and how to recalibrate attraction

16:50 Dating after 50: body image, confidence, and doing the inner work

18:26 Does therapy make someone a better partner?

19:14 Why dismissing people based on checklists costs you great relationships

21:31 EQ vs IQ in dating: what emotional intelligence actually looks like

23:44 How chemistry develops through shared experience (and what kills it)

25:47 Why coffee dates kill attraction and what to do instead

28:35 What travel reveals about a partner's real personality

32:06 Sandy's one piece of advice for seniors navigating dating and relationships today

What if intimacy in later life isn’t really about sex at all?

In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I speak with George Goulburn, a straight male escort in his 50s, who works with women in their 50s, 60s, 70s, and even 80s.

What he shares challenges almost every assumption about escorting, desire, and connection in later life.

Far from quick, transactional encounters, George’s clients are seeking something deeper: emotional connection, safety, touch, and the chance to feel seen and desired again, often after years or even decades without intimacy.

We explore what women really want as they age, how confidence and sexual identity evolve, and why honest conversations about desire are still so rare.

This episode is honest, surprising, and deeply human, and it might just change how you think about intimacy in later life.

Getting started with sex toys?

GITM PLAYBOOK has a fabulous range of toys, plus a handy guide to help you pick the ones that suit you best.

Use my code: SUZANNE20 for 20% off.

ABOUT SUZANNE:

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

CONNECT WITH SUZANNE:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

WANT MORE?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

CONNECT WITH GEORGE:

Website https://www.georgegoulburn.com/

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/georgegoulburnofficial

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@George_Goulburn

Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/george.goulburn.2023

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction: Why this conversation matters

00:25 Meet George: A male escort for women over 50

03:20 Why intimacy takes time, not just sex

08:30 Who hires male escorts and why

11:20 What women really want

16:00 Do clients fall in love?

18:40 Ethical non-monogamy and dating life

21:40 Creating safety, trust, and consent

27:40 Myths about male escorts

29:00 Why older women don’t want “perfect” bodies

31:20 Why we struggle to talk about sex

34:20 Sex with older virgins: a hidden reality

35:50 The real outcome: confidence and self-worth

Most couples say their relationship is their top priority—but their time, energy, and attention often tell a different story.

In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, I’m joined by relationship coach and Relational Life Therapy practitioner Monica Tanner to explore what really keeps long-term couples connected, emotionally and sexually, well into their 60s, 70s, and beyond.

We dive into Monica’s surprisingly simple “3% rule” - a powerful framework for maintaining intimacy, connection, and communication without needing to overhaul your entire life. We also unpack why resentment builds in long-term relationships, how health challenges affect sexual intimacy in older adults, and whether it’s truly possible to change relationship patterns after decades together.

If you’re navigating love, sex, and connection in later life, this episode offers practical, realistic tools you can start using today.

What You’ll Learn:

·       The “3% rule” for relationship success and why small time investments create big intimacy gains

·       How to maintain emotional and sexual connection in your 50s, 60s, and 70s

·       Why resentment in long-term relationships is often unspoken desire

·       The daily habit that keeps couples from drifting apart over time

·       How illness, aging, and health issues impact intimacy... and how to adapt

·       Why couples delay important conversations about sex, needs, and expectations

·       Whether it’s possible to change deeply ingrained relationship patterns later in life

Key Topics & Keywords:

Sex advice for seniors, intimacy after 60, relationships in later life, sexual health for older adults, maintaining intimacy in long-term relationships, marriage advice for older couples, communication in relationships, emotional connection in aging, sex and aging, overcoming resentment in relationships, relationship coaching, Relational Life Therapy, intimacy after illness, rekindling connection in later life

About Monica Tanner:

Monica Tanner is a relationship coach, Relational Life Therapy practitioner, and host of the Secrets of Happily Ever After podcast. She helps couples create deeper connection, better communication, and lasting intimacy - no matter how long they’ve been together.

Connect with Monica:

·       Website: https://www.monicatanner.com/

·       Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/marriage-and-intimacy-tips

·       Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/monitalksmarriage

·       Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/monica.tanner2

·       YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@secretsofhappilyeverafter

Listen & Follow Sex Advice for Seniors:

If you enjoyed this episode, follow Sex Advice for Seniors for honest conversations about sex, intimacy, and relationships in later life. Share with a friend who might need this reminder: your relationship deserves to be a priority... at any age.

Erectile dysfunction is often treated as a physical issue, but this conversation explores the emotional, psychological, and lifestyle factors that can sit underneath it. Suzanne Noble opens with a personal reflection on how ED can be an early warning sign of more serious health problems, before introducing guest Tom Jenkins, author of The Drunk Gambler with Erectile Dysfunction.

Tom speaks candidly about his early sexual experiences, the role alcohol and gambling played in masking insecurity, and how poor confidence shaped his relationship with sex. He explains how honest communication with a partner, lifestyle changes, meditation, exercise, improved diet, and a major change of environment all contributed to his recovery. He also discusses why he eventually moved away from relying only on medication and toward addressing the root causes of his struggles.

The conversation also covers the link between erectile dysfunction and drinking, the pressure men can feel around performance, and why shame often prevents men from seeking help. Tom shares how an ayahuasca retreat became a turning point, helping him confront deeper issues and rebuild his life with more self-awareness and stability. The episode closes with a reminder that every person’s healing path is different, and that responsible, supported approaches matter when exploring alternative therapies.

Why listen

This episode is for anyone interested in sexual health, men’s wellness, emotional resilience, recovery from unhealthy habits, and the connection between intimacy and confidence. It offers a grounded, honest conversation about ED that goes beyond quick fixes and into real-life change.

Key topics

Erectile dysfunction and what it can signal.

Alcohol, gambling, and sexual confidence.

Shame, performance pressure, and communication in relationships.

Lifestyle changes, meditation, exercise, and diet.

Medication versus root-cause healing.

Psychedelics and responsible use in personal healing.

SEO keywords

erectile dysfunction, men’s sexual health, senior sex advice, confidence and intimacy, alcohol and erectile dysfunction, gambling addiction recovery, sexual wellness, relationship communication, natural ED solutions, lifestyle change, men over 50, emotional healing, sexual performance anxiety, healthy intimacy, podcast about sex

FAQ

What causes erectile dysfunction besides age?

Erectile dysfunction can be connected to stress, alcohol use, low confidence, relationship issues, and broader health problems, not just age.

Can lifestyle changes improve erectile dysfunction?

This episode highlights how better diet, exercise, reduced drinking, meditation, and emotional honesty can support improvement.

Is erectile dysfunction always physical?

No. In this conversation, ED is presented as a mix of physical, emotional, and psychological factors.

Does medication solve erectile dysfunction permanently?

Medication can help symptoms, but Tom and Suzanne discuss the importance of addressing root causes too

What I Discussed with Scot McKay…

- Why many people over 50 are abandoning dating apps and what they are doing instead to find meaningful relationships.

- How online dating evolved from a genuine way to meet people into a swipe-based system that often prioritises engagement over connection.

- Why dating after 60 may actually be easier than dating in your 30s and 40s for people seeking authentic relationships.

- The surprising reasons more women over 50 are choosing younger partners and what this reveals about health, lifestyle and modern expectations.

- Scot McKay's "Big Four" framework for attraction: confidence, masculinity or femininity, appreciation for the opposite sex, and character.

- Why many long-term relationships fail after the children leave home and how couples can avoid drifting apart.

- The concept of "Deserve What You Want" and why becoming the partner you want to attract may be more important than finding the perfect match.

- Why optimism, generosity and strong character remain some of the most attractive qualities regardless of age, technology or dating trends.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

02:15 How Modern Dating Has Changed Over the Last 20 Years

07:40 Why Dating Apps Are Failing So Many People

14:30 Is Online Dating Dead?

20:10 Finding Love and Connection After 60

25:45 Meeting People in Real Life Instead of Online

31:20 Why More Older Women Are Dating Younger Men

38:10 Health, Attraction and Ageing Well

45:00 Scot McKay's Big Four Principles of Attraction

52:30 Dating After Divorce and Rebuilding Confidence

58:40 Why Some Long-Term Relationships Fall Apart

01:04:15 The Philosophy of "Deserve What You Want"

01:10:30 What Creates Lasting Love Later in Life?

01:14:00 Final Thoughts

Show Notes

Have dating apps ruined modern relationships? Or have they simply exposed problems that were already there?

When I first started dating online in the early 2000s, it felt exciting. You could meet interesting people, have fascinating conversations and genuinely believe you might stumble across someone special. Fast-forward to today, and many of us seem trapped in an endless cycle of swiping, ghosting and disappointment.

In this episode, I speak with dating and relationship coach Scot McKay, who believes we've reached a tipping point. After spending more than two decades helping people navigate dating and relationships, Scot argues that modern dating has become increasingly transactional, with many people focusing more on what they can get from a relationship than what they can contribute to one.

Together, we explore why dating apps no longer seem to deliver the results they once did, why some women over 50 are choosing younger partners, and whether finding love later in life might actually be easier than many people think. We also discuss the qualities that create lasting attraction, the mistakes many couples make after raising children together, and why character may be far more important than chemistry when it comes to building a successful relationship.

Scot also shares his philosophy of "Deserve What You Want"—the idea that finding a great partner starts with becoming the kind of person a great partner would want to be with.

Whether you're actively dating, happily partnered, divorced, widowed or simply curious about how relationships are changing, this conversation offers plenty of food for thought.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- Dating has changed dramatically since the rise of smartphones and social media.

- Many people now approach relationships from a transactional mindset.

- Authenticity remains one of the most attractive qualities in dating.

- Older adults can still find success through online dating when expectations are realistic.

- Meeting people in real life is becoming increasingly important.

- Health and lifestyle compatibility matter more as we age.

- Confidence and character are more attractive than superficial traits.

- Successful relationships require mutual contribution and partnership.

- Rebuilding after divorce starts with self-awareness and personal growth.

- To attract the right partner, focus on becoming the right partner.

About the Guest

Scot McKay is a dating and relationship coach, author, speaker and host of The Mountaintop Podcast. For more than two decades, he has helped men and women improve their confidence, relationships and dating success. Scot is the creator of the "Big Four" framework and is widely known for his philosophy of helping people "deserve what they want" in life and relationships.

Connect With Scot

The Mountain Top Podcast https://mountaintoppodcast.com/welcome/

X https://x.com/scotmckay

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/mountaintopsummit

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/realscotmckay

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@scotmckay

Substack https://scotmckay.substack.com/

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/scotmckay

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast, one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

WANT MORE?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

What I Discussed With Anthony Canapi…

- Why many gay men over 50 are turning away from dating apps and looking for more personal ways to find meaningful relationships.

- The unique dating challenges faced by older gay men, including grief, ageism, relationship loss and the legacy of the HIV/AIDS crisis.

- Why some older gay men are drawn to younger partners and what may be driving that attraction.

- How decades of discrimination and social stigma continue to influence dating and relationships later in life.

- Why finding love after losing a long-term partner is often about restoring hope as much as finding companionship.

- What professional matchmaking actually involves and why it goes far beyond simply introducing people.

- The importance of shared values, lifestyle goals and plans when dating in your 50s, 60s and beyond.

- Why authenticity, emotional readiness and flexibility are often more important than having a perfect list of requirements.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:00 How Anthony Became a Matchmaker

03:00 Why Many Gay Men Are Leaving Dating Apps

06:30 Finding Love Again After Loss and Bereavement

10:00 The Unique Dating Challenges Facing Older Gay Men

14:30 The Lasting Impact of the HIV/AIDS Crisis

18:00 Why Some Older Gay Men Seek Younger Partners

22:00 What Professional Matchmaking Really Involves

27:00 Emotional Readiness and Relationship Success

31:00 Shared Values, Lifestyle and Future Goals

35:00 Why It's Never Too Late to Find Love

39:00 The Future of Dating and Matchmaking

42:00 Final Thoughts

Episode Description

Is it ever too late to find love?

For many older adults, dating can feel overwhelming. Add in the unique experiences that many gay men have lived through—including discrimination, loss, grief and decades of social change—and finding a meaningful relationship can feel even more complicated.

In this episode, I speak with Anthony Canapi, founder of Best Man Matchmaking, psychotherapist, dating coach and one of the few professional matchmakers dedicated exclusively to helping gay men find long-term relationships.

Together, we discuss why dating apps are leaving so many people frustrated, what older gay men are really looking for in a partner, and why matchmaking is becoming an increasingly attractive alternative to endless swiping and ghosting.

Anthony also shares some of the deeper psychological factors that can influence dating later in life, including the impact of missed experiences, relationship trauma and the desire for connection after years of independence. We explore how attitudes towards ageing, partnership and intimacy are changing, and why finding someone who shares your vision for the future may matter more than ever.

Whether you're dating after divorce, grieving the loss of a partner, or simply wondering if meaningful love is still possible later in life, this conversation offers hope, insight and practical wisdom.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- It is never too late to find love or begin a new relationship.

- Many older adults are becoming increasingly frustrated with dating apps.

- Older gay men often face unique dating challenges shaped by history and lived experience.

- Grief, loss and trauma can influence relationship expectations later in life.

- Matchmaking provides a personalised alternative to online dating.

- Emotional readiness is often more important than simply finding the right person.

- Shared values and future goals become increasingly important with age.

- Flexibility can be more valuable than rigid dating preferences.

- Meaningful relationships are built on compatibility, communication and connection.

- Hope remains an important part of finding love later in life.

About the Guest

Anthony Canapi is the founder and CEO of Best Man Matchmaking, a specialist matchmaking service dedicated exclusively to helping gay men find meaningful, long-term relationships. With a background in psychotherapy, psychology and dating coaching, Anthony combines emotional insight with personalised matchmaking to help clients navigate modern dating and build authentic connections. He works with gay men across the United States, including many clients seeking companionship and partnership later in life.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

WANT MORE?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

What I Discussed with Tanya Leake…

- What clitoral atrophy is and why many women have never heard of it.

- How menopause can affect sensation, arousal and orgasm.

- The connection between clitoral health, blood flow and hormonal changes.

- What clitoral adhesions are and how they can develop over time.

- Whether regular sexual activity can help maintain sexual function during menopause.

- The role of vaginal oestrogen, testosterone and other treatment options.

- Non-hormonal approaches that may support vaginal and sexual health.

- Why many women struggle to get accurate information about menopause-related sexual changes.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

02:40 What Is Clitoral Atrophy?

05:00 How Menopause Affects Sexual Function

07:40 Blood Flow, Sensation and Pleasure

09:30 Does Sexual Activity Help?

13:20 Treatment Options and Hormonal Support

18:30 Why Women's Sexual Health Is Often Overlooked

22:00 Menopause Care and Healthcare Gaps

26:00 Breast Cancer, Menopause and Sexual Function

28:30 Non-Hormonal Treatments and Emerging Research

32:00 Advocating for Your Sexual Health

Episode Description

Why does nobody talk about clitoral atrophy?

Most women have heard about hot flushes, brain fog and vaginal dryness during menopause. Far fewer know that menopause can also affect the clitoris, potentially impacting sensation, arousal and sexual pleasure.

In this episode, I speak with Tanya Leake, menopause mindset and lifestyle coach, about a topic that remains surprisingly absent from many conversations about women's health.

Together, we explore what clitoral atrophy is, why it happens, and how hormonal changes can affect sexual function during and after menopause. We discuss the role of blood flow, tissue health and nerve sensitivity, as well as practical ways women can support their sexual wellbeing as they age.

Tanya also explains the differences between vaginal oestrogen, testosterone therapy and non-hormonal approaches, while highlighting why so many women struggle to get the information and support they need from healthcare providers.

Whether you're currently navigating menopause, supporting a partner, or simply want to understand more about female sexual health, this conversation offers valuable insights into a subject that deserves far more attention.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- Clitoral atrophy is a real but often overlooked aspect of menopause.

- Hormonal changes can affect sensation, arousal and orgasm.

- Blood flow plays an important role in maintaining sexual function.

- Clitoral adhesions can develop when tissue changes occur over time.

- Regular stimulation may help support tissue health and sexual wellbeing.

- Vaginal oestrogen can be an effective treatment option for many women.

- Non-hormonal alternatives may be available for those who cannot use hormones.

- Breast cancer survivors often face additional sexual health challenges.

- Women should feel empowered to discuss sexual health concerns with healthcare providers.

- Education and self-advocacy are important parts of menopause care.

Understanding Clitoral Atrophy

What Is Clitoral Atrophy?

Clitoral atrophy refers to changes in the clitoris that may occur when declining hormone levels reduce blood flow and tissue health. These changes can affect sensation, arousal and sexual pleasure.

Why Does It Happen?

During menopause, lower levels of oestrogen and other hormones can impact blood circulation, tissue elasticity and nerve sensitivity within the genital area.

What Are the Signs?

- Women may notice:

- Reduced sensitivity

- Difficulty reaching orgasm

- Changes in arousal

- Discomfort during stimulation

- Changes in genital tissue

What Can Women Do About It?

- Treatment options may include:

- Vaginal oestrogen

- Testosterone therapy (where appropriate)

- Regular sexual stimulation

- Pelvic floor exercises

- Non-hormonal moisturisers and treatments

- Specialist menopause support

About the Guest

Tanya Leake is a menopause mindset and lifestyle coach, board-certified patient advocate and creator of the Hot Flash newsletter. She is passionate about helping women better understand menopause, advocate for their health and make informed decisions about their wellbeing. Through her work, Tanya translates emerging research into practical, accessible information that empowers women to navigate midlife with confidence.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

WANT MORE?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

What I Discussed With Joe Bains…

- How growing up in a traditional Indian family with an arranged marriage shaped Joe’s views on relationships, sex and personal freedom.

- Why Joe deliberately pushed himself from being an extreme introvert into a highly social and adventurous life.

- What biohacking actually means and how optimising your health can improve vitality, energy and sexual wellbeing as you age.

- Why Joe believes good health is one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs available.

- How loneliness and social isolation can affect wellbeing later in life, and why community matters more than many people realise.

- Joe’s journey into tantra and how it changed his understanding of intimacy, pleasure and connection.

- Why mindset, self-examination and personal growth play a significant role in sexual fulfilment.

- What it means to continually reinvent yourself rather than allowing age or circumstance to define your future.

And much more…

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:30 From Extreme Introvert to “Extrovert Nerd”

03:00 What Is Biohacking?

06:00 Why Health Is the Greatest Aphrodisiac

07:30 The Importance of Social Connection as We Age

09:15 Growing Up in a Traditional Indian Family

12:00 Discovering Tantra and Conscious Sexuality

13:15 Pickup Culture, Dating and Personal Transformation

15:30 Escaping Cultural Expectations and an Arranged Marriage

21:00 Mindset, Philosophy and Personal Growth

25:00 Measuring Sexual Vitality and Success

26:30 Understanding Tantra and Multiple Orgasms

28:15 Why Tantra Is About More Than Sex

31:00 Life After Tantra: Entrepreneurship, AI and New Challenges

33:00 Final Thoughts

Episode Description

What happens when you reject the life that was planned for you and decide to create your own?

When I first read Joe Bains’ biography, I wasn’t entirely sure how to describe what he does. Biohacker. Tantra practitioner. Entrepreneur. Philosopher. Self-described “extrovert nerd”. Naturally, I had to invite him onto the podcast.

In this episode, Joe shares his remarkable journey from growing up in a traditional Indian family, where an arranged marriage and a very different future were expected of him, to spending decades exploring personal development, health optimisation, tantra and conscious living.

Together, we discuss what biohacking really means, whyhealth and longevity are closely connected to sexual wellbeing, and how social connection can dramatically influence how we age. Joe also explains how tantra transformed his understanding of intimacy and why he believes many people focus too much on performance and not enough on connection.

Along the way, we explore mindset, philosophy, ageing, relationships and the importance of continually challenging yourself to grow.

Whether you’re curious about tantra, interested in healthy ageing, or simply fascinated by people who take unconventional paths through life, this conversation offers plenty of food for thought.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- Good health plays a significant role in maintaining sexual vitality as we age.

- Biohacking is about optimising health, energy and longevity.

- Social connection may be just as important as diet and exercise for healthy ageing.

- Personal growth often begins outside our comfort zones.

- Cultural expectations can shape our attitudes towards sex and relationships.

- Tantra focuses on awareness, connection and intentional intimacy.

- Mindset has a profound impact on wellbeing and quality of life.

- Reinvention is possible at any stage of life.

- Lifelong learning can help keep us engaged, curious and resilient.

- Age does not have to limit personal development or exploration.

About the Guest

Joe Bains is a London-based biohacker, tantra practitioner, entrepreneur and lifelong student of personal development. His work explores the intersection of health optimisation, sexuality, mindset, nervous system regulation and human potential. Drawing on decades of experience in biohacking, philosophy and tantric practice, Joe is passionate about helping people challenge assumptions, improve wellbeing and live more intentionally.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

WANT MORE?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

What I Discussed With Amy Color… 

- Why many couples mistakenly believe that better sex starts with talking more rather than connecting differently.

- What Amy learned from her own sexless marriage and why traditional therapy didn't provide the answers she was looking for.

- Why erectile dysfunction often creates shame, pressure and disconnection for both partners.

- How couples can build intimacy without focusing solely on penetration or performance.

- Why many men struggle with the language of therapy and how a different approach can help them engage.

- The surprising reason "date nights" often fail to solve deeper intimacy problems.

- How pleasure, play and exploration can reignite emotional and physical connection.

- Why intimacy and sex are not the same thing—and why understanding the difference matters.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:35 Amy's Journey From a Sexless Marriage to Intimacy Coaching

04:00 Why Traditional Therapy Didn't Work

06:00 Helping Couples Rebuild Connection Through Pleasure

09:00 Why Men Often Disengage From Therapy

11:00 Coaching vs Therapy: What's the Difference?

14:00 Dating, Desire and Sexual Connection

16:30 Why Penetration Isn't the Whole Story

17:30 What Intimacy Really Means

21:00 Erectile Dysfunction, Shame and Relationship Stress

25:00 Practical Skills for Better Sexual Connection

29:00 Final Thoughts

Show Notes

Can a relationship survive when sex disappears? And if it can, what does it actually take to rebuild intimacy?

In this episode, I speak with intimacy and relationship coach Amy Color, whose own experience of navigating a sexless marriage led her to completely rethink how couples approach connection, desire and intimacy.

Like many couples facing challenges in the bedroom, Amy and her husband sought help from therapists, sex therapists and medical professionals. But what she discovered was that much of the advice focused on analysing problems rather than teaching couples practical ways to reconnect.

That experience led Amy on a mission to understand what actually helps couples rebuild emotional and physical intimacy. Today, she works with couples around the world, helping them move beyond performance pressure, shame and frustration towards a more playful, connected and pleasurable relationship.

Together, we discuss erectile dysfunction, mismatched desire, why traditional therapy doesn't always work for everyone, and the difference between sex, love and intimacy. Amy also shares her unique coaching approach, which uses practical exercises, sports metaphors and real-world skills to help couples reconnect.

Whether you're in a long-term relationship, struggling with intimacy, or simply curious about what keeps connection alive over time, this conversation offers a refreshing perspective on modern relationships.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- Many couples need practical intimacy skills, not just more conversations.

- Erectile dysfunction affects both partners and often creates shame and pressure.

- Emotional and physical connection are closely linked.

- Traditional therapy doesn't work for every couple.

- Intimacy is different from both love and sex.

- Pleasure and exploration can help couples reconnect.

- Performance pressure often makes sexual difficulties worse.

- Men and women may communicate about intimacy in very different ways.

- Building connection requires intention, practice and consistency.

- Healthy relationships thrive when both partners feel seen, valued and understood.

About the Guest

Amy Color is an intimacy and relationship coach with more than 20 years of experience helping couples rebuild emotional and physical connection. Inspired by her own experience navigating a sexless marriage, she developed a practical, skills-based approach that combines relationship coaching, intimacy education and therapeutic techniques. Amy is also a TEDx speaker and creator of a range of programmes designed to help couples strengthen communication, deepen intimacy and create more fulfilling relationships.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

The Simple Practice That Brought Intimacy Back After 20 Years - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-waiting-to-feel-in-the-mood-doesnt

Redefining Intimacy: Sex, Ageing, and Emotional Connection - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/redefining-intimacy-sex-ageing-and

The Intersection of ADHD and Intimacy: Insights from Sabrina Baldini - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/how-does-adhd-show-up-in-your-sex

What I Discussed With Jon Plate…

- Why erectile dysfunction is one of the most common but least discussed side effects of prostate cancer surgery.

- The shocking number of men who experience erectile dysfunction after a radical prostatectomy—and why many aren't warned beforehand.

- Why surviving cancer and maintaining quality of life should be part of the same conversation.

- How shame, stigma and poor communication can prevent men from seeking help for erectile dysfunction.

- What stem cell therapy is and how it may help repair the underlying damage that causes erectile dysfunction.

- Why treatments like Viagra, injections and pumps may address symptoms but not necessarily the root cause.

- How men can become better advocates for their sexual health before and after medical treatment.

- What the latest clinical research reveals about stem cell treatment for erectile dysfunction.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:50 Why Suzanne Cares So Deeply About Erectile Dysfunction

04:00 The Hidden Impact of Prostate Cancer Surgery

07:00 Why Sexual Side Effects Are Often Overlooked

10:00 Advocating for Your Sexual Health

11:30 Introducing Stem Cell Therapy for Erectile Dysfunction

15:00 Why Costa Rica Became a Stem Cell Treatment Hub

16:30 What the Treatment Process Involves

19:00 Recovery, Results and Success Rates

21:45 Who Is the Best Candidate for Treatment?

23:45 Erectile Dysfunction Treatments: Symptoms vs Root Causes

30:00 The Future of Stem Cell Therapy

33:00 Why Sexual Health Matters at Every Age

35:00 Final Thoughts

Episode Description

What if erectile dysfunction wasn't simply something men had to accept after prostate cancer treatment?

One of the things I've become increasingly passionate about through this podcast is helping people understand that sexual health is health. Yet far too often, conversations about erectile dysfunction are avoided, dismissed or treated as an inevitable part of ageing.

In this episode, I speak with Jon Plate, COO, CEO and co-founder of Nordic Stem Cells, a company pioneering an innovative approach to treating erectile dysfunction using a patient's own stem cells.

Together, we explore one of the most common but least discussed consequences of prostate cancer surgery: the loss of erectile function. Jon explains why so many men are shocked by the impact of radical prostatectomy, how current treatments often focus on managing symptoms, and why stem cell therapy may offer a very different approach.

We also discuss the emotional toll erectile dysfunction can have on relationships, the importance of patient advocacy, and why sexual function deserves to be part of every conversation about recovery and quality of life.

Jon shares the results of early clinical research, explains what the treatment process involves, and discusses who may benefit most from this emerging therapy.

Whether you're dealing with erectile dysfunction yourself, supporting a partner, or simply interested in the future of sexual medicine, this conversation offers a fascinating look at one of the most promising developments in men's sexual health.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- Erectile dysfunction is a common side effect of radical prostatectomy.

- Many men feel unprepared for the sexual consequences of prostate cancer treatment.

- Sexual health remains an important part of quality of life at every age.

- Shame often prevents men from discussing erectile dysfunction openly.

- Current treatments frequently focus on symptom management rather than tissue repair.

- Stem cell therapy aims to address the underlying biological damage.

- Clinical research has shown promising results in selected patients.

- Overall health plays a significant role in treatment outcomes.

- Patients should ask detailed questions before undergoing major procedures.

- Advocacy and education are essential parts of sexual healthcare.

- Understanding Erectile Dysfunction After Prostate Cancer Surgery

What Is It?

Erectile dysfunction following radical prostatectomy occurs when the nerves, blood vessels and surrounding tissues involved in achieving an erection are damaged during prostate cancer surgery.

Why Does It Happen?

Even when surgery successfully removes cancer, the procedure can affect delicate nerve pathways and vascular structures that are essential for erectile function. Recovery may take months or years, and some men never fully regain function without additional support.

What Are the Common Signs or Symptoms?

- Difficulty achieving an erection

- Difficulty maintaining an erection

- Reduced rigidity

- Loss of spontaneous or morning erections

- Reduced confidence around intimacy

- Relationship stress related to sexual function

What Can People Do About It?

- Treatment options may include:

- PDE5 inhibitors such as Viagra and Cialis

- Vacuum erection devices

- Penile rehabilitation programmes

- Lifestyle improvements to support vascular health

- Counselling or psychosexual therapy

- Emerging regenerative treatments such as stem cell therapy

- Open conversations with healthcare providers about recovery expectations

About the Guest

Jon Plate is the CEO, COO and co-founder of Nordic Stem Cells, a company focused on advancing regenerative medicine for erectile dysfunction. Working alongside researchers and clinicians who pioneered stem cell treatment protocols in Denmark, Jon is helping bring innovative therapies to men affected by erectile dysfunction following prostate cancer surgery. His work focuses on translating clinical research into real-world treatment options that aim to improve both sexual function and overall quality of life.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

The Hidden Habits Destroying Men's Erections | ft. Tom Jenkins - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-real-cause-of-erectile-dysfunction

Live with Suzanne Noble and Ken Schafer - Uncovering the Root Cause of Erectile Dysfunction - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-and-ken-schafer

The Intersection of Prostate Cancer and Sexual Function - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/episode-155-navigating-sexual-health

What I Discussed With Kathy Kay…

- Why many women discover greater sexual confidence and freedom later in life.

- The surprising reason some people become more adventurous in their 50s, 60s and beyond.

- How communication—not necessarily better sex—is often the key to happier long-term relationships.

- Why fantasies, fetishes and kinks are far more common than most people realise.

- What Kathy has learned after interviewing more than a thousand people anonymously about their sex lives.

- Why swinging, ethical non-monogamy and alternative relationships aren't always what people assume.

- How shame prevents many people from exploring their sexuality—and why that often changes with age.

- Why older adults shouldn't feel embarrassed about pursuing pleasure, curiosity and sexual fulfilment.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:30 Kathy Kay's Journey into Anonymous Sex Storytelling

04:30 Why Many Women Become More Sexually Confident After 50

08:00 Older Adults, Swinging and Sexual Reinvention

11:30 How Craigslist Changed Kathy's Podcast

15:00 Fetishes, Fantasies and Why You're Not Alone

19:00 Exploring Kink Later in Life

22:00 Ethical Non-Monogamy and Swinging Relationships

25:30 Why Communication Is the Secret to Better Relationships

30:00 Why Older Adults Should Stop Feeling Ashamed About Sex

33:00 Final Thoughts

Episode Description

Does age make us more sexually adventurous?

For many people, the answer might be yes.

In this episode, I speak with Kathy Kay, host of the long-running podcast Strictly Anonymous Confessions and author of Secretly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. Over the past decade, Kathy has interviewed more than a thousand people who have shared their most intimate experiences completely anonymously, giving her a unique perspective on what really happens behind closed doors.

Together, we explore why so many people experience a sexual awakening later in life, how confidence often replaces shame as we age, and why older adults are far more adventurous than society gives them credit for.

We also discuss fantasies, fetishes, swinging, ethical non-monogamy, online communities and the importance of honest communication in long-term relationships. Kathy shares some of the most surprising stories she's collected over the years and explains why many couples rediscover intimacy simply by talking openly about what they want.

Above all, this conversation is a reminder that sexuality doesn't have an expiry date. Whether you're curious about exploring new experiences, wondering if your fantasies are "normal", or simply looking for reassurance that desire doesn't disappear with age, this episode offers humour, honesty and plenty of encouragement.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- Sexual confidence often grows with age.

- Many people become more adventurous after 50.

- Honest communication strengthens intimate relationships.

- Fantasies and fetishes are more common than most people think.

- Shame often prevents people from exploring their sexuality.

- Ethical non-monogamy can work when built on trust and communication.

- Older adults continue to seek novelty, intimacy and pleasure.

- Online communities have helped reduce stigma around sexual interests.

- There is no "right" way to experience sexuality between consenting adults.

- Desire doesn't retire simply because we get older.

About the Guest

Kathy Kay is the creator and host of Strictly Anonymous Confessions, one of the longest-running podcasts exploring anonymous real-life stories about sex, relationships and intimacy. For more than a decade, she has interviewed over a thousand guests about everything from swinging and ethical non-monogamy to fetishes, fantasies and relationship dynamics. Kathy is also the author of Secretly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, a collection of some of the most fascinating stories shared on her podcast.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

How to Turn around your Sex Life in 6 Weeks - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-most-couples-get-sex-completely

Magnificent Sex in Later Life: Why Aging Can Be Your Erotic Awakening - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/still-juicy-sex-selfworth-and-reinventing

Replanting Desire: How to Grow an Authentic Sex Life in Midlife and Beyond - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/weeding-our-sexual-gardens-reclaiming

What I Discussed With Chris Bustamante…

- Why more men over 50 are seeking treatments to improve erectile function, confidence and sexual wellbeing.

- The difference between improving penile function and enhancing penile appearance—and why many men choose both.

- What the P-Shot (PRP therapy) is and how it may help improve blood flow, sensation and erection quality.

- How shockwave therapy works alongside medications like Viagra and Cialis to support erectile health.

- Why penile Botox ("ShowTox") is becoming an increasingly popular treatment for erectile dysfunction.

- What men should know about penile fillers, scrotal fillers and the latest aesthetic procedures.

- How testosterone replacement therapy can affect the testicles and the options available to address those changes.

- Why confidence, body image and sexual wellbeing remain important at every stage of life.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:35 Why Men Seek Sexual Health and Penis Enhancement Treatments

04:00 What Is the P-Shot (PRP Therapy)?

07:30 How Shockwave Therapy Improves Erectile Function

10:15 Penile Botox ("ShowTox") Explained

13:00 Penile Fillers and Girth Enhancement

16:00 Testosterone Therapy and Testicular Atrophy

19:30 Scrotal Fillers: Restoring Confidence

21:30 Costs, Safety and Recovery

24:00 How Chris Specialised in Men's Sexual Health

27:00 Final Thoughts

Show Notes

How much does confidence influence a man's sex life?

While erectile dysfunction is often discussed, many men are also concerned about changes in appearance, sensation and confidence as they get older. Yet these conversations are still surprisingly rare.

In this episode, I speak with Chris Bustamante, better known as Injector Chris, a board-certified nurse practitioner specialising in men's sexual health and aesthetic medicine.

Chris explains the latest non-surgical treatments designed to improve erectile function, restore confidence and address some of the physical changes that naturally occur with age. We discuss the science behind the P-Shot (platelet-rich plasma therapy), shockwave therapy and penile Botox, and how these treatments work alongside conventional medications such as Viagra and Cialis rather than replacing them.

We also explore penile fillers, scrotal fillers and why more men are choosing aesthetic procedures as part of their overall wellbeing. Chris discusses testosterone replacement therapy, why it can cause testicular shrinkage, and the treatment options now available for men who want to restore their confidence.

Whether you're curious about the latest developments in men's sexual health or simply want to better understand the options available, this episode offers an honest, informative and judgement-free conversation about a topic that many men think about but few openly discuss.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- Erectile dysfunction often has multiple physical causes that can be addressed together.

- Shockwave therapy and PRP aim to improve tissue health rather than simply treating symptoms.

- Penile Botox may help improve erection quality by increasing blood flow.

- Penile fillers focus on cosmetic enhancement rather than erectile function.

- Testosterone replacement therapy can cause testicular shrinkage over time.

- Scrotal fillers offer a cosmetic option for men concerned about changes in appearance.

- Many treatments work best alongside prescribed medications rather than replacing them.

- Men's confidence and body image continue to matter throughout later life.

- Choosing an experienced practitioner is essential for safety and good outcomes.

- Open conversations about men's sexual health help reduce stigma and encourage informed decision-making.

Understanding Non-Surgical Penis Enhancement

What Is It?

Non-surgical penis enhancement includes a range of medical and aesthetic procedures designed to improve erectile function, sensation, appearance or confidence without surgery. Treatments may focus on restoring blood flow, improving tissue health or increasing penile girth.

Why Do Men Seek These Treatments?

Ageing, reduced circulation, hormonal changes, erectile dysfunction, body image concerns and changes following testosterone therapy can all affect confidence and sexual wellbeing.

What Are the Common Signs or Symptoms?

- Difficulty achieving or maintaining erections

- Reduced penile sensitivity

- Decreased erection firmness

- Concerns about penile size or appearance

- Testicular shrinkage during testosterone therapy

- Reduced sexual confidence

What Can People Do About It?

- Treatment options include:

- Lifestyle changes that support cardiovascular health

- Medications such as Viagra or Cialis

- Shockwave therapy

- Platelet-rich plasma (P-Shot)

- Penile Botox

- Penile girth fillers

- Scrotal fillers

- Consultation with an experienced sexual health specialist

About the Guest

Chris Bustamante, widely known as Injector Chris, is a board-certified nurse practitioner and founder of Lushful Aesthetics in New York City. Specialising exclusively in men's sexual health and aesthetic medicine, Chris offers non-surgical treatments designed to improve erectile function, confidence and penile aesthetics. His practice combines regenerative therapies such as platelet-rich plasma and shockwave therapy with advanced injectable procedures, helping men explore personalised options for maintaining sexual wellbeing as they age.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

The Hidden Habits Destroying Men's Erections | ft. Tom Jenkins - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-real-cause-of-erectile-dysfunction

Live with Suzanne Noble and Ken Schafer - Uncovering the Root Cause of Erectile Dysfunction - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-and-ken-schafer

The Hormone Your Body Has But Can't Use (And What Changes When You Fix That) - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/dan-from-valens-health-hormone-intelligence

What I Discussed With Junie Moon…

- Why so many women struggle with body confidence long after menopause—and how healing is possible.

- What inspired Junie Moon to strip naked for her documentary Shed the Shame and what she learned from the experience.

- Why nudity isn't necessarily about sex—and how it can become a powerful act of self-acceptance.

- How negative body image affects intimacy, dating and relationships later in life.

- Why confidence, not perfection, is often the most attractive quality we can bring into a relationship.

- How movement, fitness and feeling healthy can naturally improve desire and sexual confidence.

- Why both men and women carry insecurities about ageing bodies—and how compassion can change the conversation.

- How learning to love your body can transform both your relationships and your sex life.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:00 Why Junie Chose to Be Painted Naked

03:30 Nude Beaches, Body Image and Self-Acceptance

06:00 Menopause, Ageing and Learning to Love Your Body

09:00 Dating, Confidence and Feeling Attractive Again

12:00 Why Lingerie, Confidence and Attitude Matter More Than Perfection

15:00 Are Men Really More Visual Than Women?

18:30 Ageing Bodies, Health and Self-Compassion

24:00 Fitness, Movement and Feeling Sexy After 50

28:00 Why Feeling Alive Fuels Sexual Desire

30:30 Final Thoughts

Episode Description

How comfortable are you in your own skin?

For many of us, the relationship we have with our bodies changes dramatically as we get older. Menopause, weight gain, wrinkles and the natural ageing process can all chip away at confidence—especially when we've spent decades believing we're supposed to look a certain way.

In this episode, I speak with love coach and relationship expert Junie Moon, whose powerful documentary Shed the Shame follows her decision to be painted completely naked as an act of self-acceptance and healing.

Our conversation quickly becomes much bigger than body painting. We explore how body image affects dating, intimacy and sexuality after 50, why confidence is often far more attractive than physical perfection, and how both men and women carry insecurities about ageing.

We also share our experiences of naturist beaches, discuss why movement and physical wellbeing play such an important role in feeling sexual, and reflect on how learning to appreciate our bodies can transform the way we approach relationships.

If you've ever looked in the mirror and wished your body looked different—or worried that age has made you less desirable—this episode is a gentle reminder that confidence, connection and self-compassion are far more powerful than perfection.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

- Body confidence is something that can be developed at any age.

- Confidence is often more attractive than physical perfection.

- Negative body image can affect intimacy and dating.

- Both men and women experience insecurities about ageing.

- Self-compassion is an essential part of healthy relationships.

- Movement and exercise support both physical and sexual wellbeing.

- Naturist environments can help people develop healthier body image.

- Feeling healthy often increases confidence and desire.

- Loving yourself makes it easier to receive love from others.

- Ageing doesn't mean becoming less attractive or less sexual.

About the Guest

Junie Moon is a certified love coach, relationship expert, speaker and host of the Midlife Love Out Loud podcast. She specialises in helping women over 50 overcome limiting beliefs, build self-confidence and create healthy, fulfilling relationships. Through coaching, workshops and her documentary Shed the Shame, Junie encourages people to embrace self-acceptance, heal old emotional wounds and rediscover love, intimacy and joy later in life.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

Bonus Live: Your body isn’t broken — it’s just done performing - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-w-amara-charles

From Style to Sensuality: Sarah Ward on Reclaiming Pleasure and Shedding Shame - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/from-style-to-sensuality-sarah-ward

Reclaiming Women’s Pleasure: Tackling Low Libido and Sexual Health with Michelle Jermy - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/pressure-pleasure-and-pain-the-scale

Walk into an AARP event expecting walkers and wheelchairs. Leave rethinking everything you thought you knew about senior dating. That was Dr. Gilda Carle’s experience, and she has never looked at this age group the same way since.

Gilda spent eight years as a columnist and spokesperson for Match.com, writing the widely read Ask Dr. Gilda column. When the company sent her to a Washington DC event for AARP members, she assumed she’d be done in five minutes. “I thought these people were going to be so over the hill,” she told me. “I’m going to make my presentation and five minutes later I’ll be out of the door.”

Standing room only. A packed auditorium. Questions coming faster than she could answer them. These were not people with one foot in the grave.

The women’s burning question? How do I find a man who drives at night? Gilda responded by asking every man in the room to raise his hand. What followed, she says, was a mob scene.

The men had a different concern. They didn’t want their age displayed on the platform. One man made the argument with complete confidence. Short, bald, slightly bent. Ninety-two years old. He told Gilda he liked to date women in their sixties, and that he had what it takes. She believed him. She went back to Match and lobbied on his behalf. They declined.

From there, our conversation covers a lot of ground. Gilda talks about why she walked out mid-sentence on a date who had shown up twenty years older than his profile claimed. (She had given a fake name online for safety: Sparkle. He chased her out of the restaurant calling after her. Loudly.) We discuss a Bumble study showing women are now dating ten years younger on average, and why their younger partners are enthusiastic about it. And Gilda shares the story of a PhD psychologist who found love by reading the obituaries, tracking down recently widowed men in her neighbourhood, and arriving with casseroles. One of them married her.

We also get into something I hear about constantly from women my age. Men who retire without hobbies, without purpose, without much to offer in a conversation. Gilda shares a statistic that stuck with me: people who retire with nothing to replace the work tend to live only seven more years afterward. The grind ends and there is no plan for what comes next. That’s not just a health problem. It’s visible when you meet someone. It’s not attractive.

Gilda’s position is simple: get vital before you try to get seen. Work out. Present well. Have a life. Know who you are. Because older women, as she points out, already do. We have done the difficult relationships, made the mistakes, and come out the other side with something younger women often cannot offer: directness, self-knowledge, and zero interest in playing games.

Jane Seymour said she has had the best sex of her life at 74. Four husbands, one brilliant partner, no judgment, no interference. That is the standard Gilda is holding out for. Honestly, so am I.

What Matters

* Ageist algorithms are real. Lying about your age online is a rational response to being made invisible, not a character flaw.

* Women’s top priority in senior dating is vitality, not youth, not money. Vitality. Men who let themselves go are not losing out to the competition. They are losing out to indifference.

* Men who retire without purpose often become dependent on a partner for entertainment. It shows in every interaction, and it is not appealing.

* Older women are increasingly dating younger, and the men are into it. Bumble data confirms it. Transparency and confidence are the draw.

* One woman read the obituaries to find love. She brought casseroles. It worked. Do not dismiss unconventional approaches.

* Essence matters more than age. The goal is to find someone who wants your presence, not your practicality.

Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.

You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.

If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.

More than ever, I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you are able.

Most couples have their story memorised. When they met, what went wrong, why things aren’t what they used to be. They’ve told it so many times it feels like a fact.

And that’s the problem.

Dr. Dan Sneider is a couples therapist and the founder of IntimacyShift.com. He works with two distinct groups of older people: couples who’ve been together for decades, and people starting over in their 50s and 60s but carrying years of history with them. Both tend to arrive stuck in the same way, often telling a story about their relationship that stopped being accurate a long time ago.

One of Dan’s favourite tools comes from researchers John and Julie Gottman. He calls it the Story of Us. He asks couples to tell the story of their relationship and he says, that most have it memorised. That, he says, is where the work begins because if part of that story is “the passion faded,” that belief is now embedded, and better communication alone won’t shift it.

We also talked about something I personally found frightening in my marriage : disclosing my desires. Not the everyday stuff but the wants you’ve kept quiet about for years, maybe decades. The ones that feel genuinely risky to say out loud.

Dan’s approach isn’t to say everything at once. He talks about volume knobs. Turning down the fear a little, not eliminating it and scheduling regular time to talk about intimacy the same way you’d schedule the gym. Building safety in small stages rather than waiting for a perfect moment that never comes.

We got into conflict too. Specifically, why couples who live for big dramatic ups and downs are actually hardwiring themselves for pain. You know, the stuff of which movie romances are made. The repair is harder and the dopamine hit of drama becomes part of what they expect from love. Dan’s antidote sounds deceptively simple: I-language. “I feel unseen” instead of “you never.” It changes everything about how the repair goes.

Dan uses emotionally focused therapy, a model developed by Dr. Sue Johnson. He recommended her book Hold Me Tight to anyone who wants to understand it. The model runs 12 to 20 sessions, and Dan is refreshingly transparent about this: if you’re not seeing progress within that window, more sessions won’t fix it.

He also runs a 12-week online programme through IntimacyShift.com for couples who can’t access therapy locally or want to do the work on their own schedule. Yes, it’s expensive and that’s the point. Couples who invest are the ones who show up and do the work.

There’s a free tool on his website as well: a six-step framework for unlocking intimate conversations. A good place to start if everything else feels like too much right now.

What Matters

* The story you tell about your relationship shapes how you feel about it. It can be rewritten.

* Disclosing desires doesn’t require going all in at once. Build safety in stages.

* Schedule intimacy conversations like any other practice that matters to you.

* Fight with I-language, not you-language. The repair is easier, and so is the making up.

* Rebuilding after infidelity or betrayal is possible. Dan has seen it happen.

* Emotionally focused therapy runs 12 to 20 sessions. That’s the research-backed window for lasting change.

Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.

You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.

If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.

More than ever, I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you are able at https://sexadviceforseniors.com

There’s a version of male ageing that’s become so familiar we’ve stopped questioning it. Energy drops. Interest fades. The man who used to be the life of the party just… stops showing up. His partner wonders where he went. He probably wonders too.

Dan Leach hears this story constantly.

Dan runs Valens Health, a UK-based hormone optimisation clinic focused on men’s health, though as our conversation made clear, hormones are very much a shared concern. His path into this work started personally, noticing his own vitality shifting in his 40s and finding that mainstream medicine didn’t have much to offer beyond a shrug. So he built something that did.

The core problem, he explained, is that conventional medicine is set up to treat disease. Hormonal decline in men involves gradual drops in testosterone, DHEA, and thyroid from age 40 onward. It often doesn’t register as pathology. The numbers land inside the “normal range.” The patient gets sent home. Nothing changes.

But the normal range is enormous. And there’s a significant difference between landing somewhere in that range and being where you were in your prime.

That distinction is what Valens Health is built around. Dan calls it hormone optimisation rather than replacement: finding where each person actually functions best, not just keeping them out of the red zone.

The testosterone conversation tends to carry a lot of baggage. People hear the word and think aggression, shortcuts, something vaguely illicit. Dan’s reframe is simple: testosterone doesn’t make you someone else. It makes you more of who you already are. If your energy has dropped off, your libido has gone quiet, you’ve lost motivation and muscle mass: it amplifies what’s been suppressed. The lights come back on.

I’ve been taking prescription testosterone myself for a few months now, and the difference has been real. Better focus. More physical stamina. More interest in things generally, including sex. I wouldn’t have discovered it through a doctor. I found out through a friend. That’s a story I hear far too often.

One thing I hadn’t known about before talking to Dan: DHEA. It’s not a hormone most people have heard of, but it plays a critical role in whether your body can actually use the testosterone it has. Some men have reasonable testosterone levels and still feel terrible, because the activation pathway isn’t working. DHEA is essentially the key that turns the lock. Adding it, Dan said, tends to produce a fast, noticeable effect.

Thyroid rounds out the picture. It sets the pace for your entire metabolism. When it drops, even to a level that still reads as “normal” on a standard test, everything slows: mood, energy, concentration, libido. Optimising all three together is where people start describing themselves as feeling 30 again at 57.

There’s also a serious health reason not to ignore this. Dan was clear that unreliable erections aren’t just a sex problem. They’re a cardiovascular signal. Around 80% of men who start experiencing them regularly will go on to have a significant cardiac event within five years. It’s worth paying attention to.

Valens Health works remotely, which Dan says most patients actually prefer. It starts with a free consultation and comprehensive bloodwork. The premium package, a dedicated doctor and ongoing optimization for a full year, runs £1,800, payable in instalments.

Dan put it simply toward the end of our conversation: isn’t life about feeling as good as we can? Most men have been told the answer is no, that decline is just the deal. It doesn’t have to be.

Key Takeaways

* Testosterone, DHEA, and thyroid all decline from age 40 onward. “Within normal range” doesn’t mean optimal.

* DHEA helps the body activate testosterone. Some men have adequate levels but can’t use them properly.

* Unreliable erections are a cardiovascular signal, not just a sex problem. Around 80% of men who experience them regularly go on to have a significant cardiac event within five years.

* Testosterone doesn’t cause aggression. It amplifies who you already are.

* Valens Health works remotely. The premium programme is £1,800/year, payable in instalments.

Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.

You’ll gain full access to my sexy stories, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.

If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.

More than ever, I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you are able.

You’re not past it. You may even be approaching your peak.

A psychiatrist just told me that women tend to reach their highest sexual satisfaction at 64. I’m 64. And I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard the opposite message, that desire fades, that this is the time to wind down, that the body just stops cooperating.

Dr. Shila Patel has been listening to patients talk about sex, relationships, and desire for 25 years. She grew up in Kenya, went to medical school in England, and spent the bulk of her career practicing psychiatry in the American South before retiring at 51. When the pandemic hit and the Me Too movement was at its peak, she started writing. Two books later, she’s on a mission to reach people that one-on-one clinical work never could.

She’s also nearly 70, still sexually active, and completely unapologetic about both.

What struck me most in our conversation wasn’t just the 64 statistic - which I found astounding (I hadn’t ever heard before!), it was the context. Because while women are approaching their sexual peak, men are often stepping back. Erectile dysfunction, reduced interest, withdrawal. Dr. Patel saw this pattern constantly in clinical practice, and she sees it in her own life and I’ve certainly seen it in my own. Women in her condominium complex, all roughly her age, laugh and joke about it. It’s a real thing. And most women, she says, just go quiet and accept it.

That acceptance is partly cultural. Dr. Patel grew up in Indian culture, where sex was not discussed. Full stop. Not by parents, not between siblings, not even now. At 70, she and her sister have never once discussed whether either has had an orgasm. She described watching a preview of a Bollywood film where a group of women, talking about an upcoming wedding, couldn’t form the word for orgasm. They landed on “intense pleasure.” She said it with affection and exasperation in equal measure.

But she’s quick to say this isn’t an Indian problem, or an Asian problem. It’s a human problem. Americans of her generation were raised the same way. Her 91-year-old mother still tenses slightly when hugged. The silence around sex, pleasure, and desire crosses every culture she encountered in 25 years of clinical work.

What can be done about it? Quite a lot, actually.

Dr. Patel was frank about her own experience with vaginal atrophy and vaginismus after a hysterectomy and the way the body can, as she put it, just close up. Her gynaecologist prescribed estradiol cream, and it changed everything. Lubrication, libido, comfort. It also dramatically reduces UTIs and vaginal infections, something most women are never told. I have my own version of this story: I found out about vaginal estrogen from a friend, not a single healthcare professional. When I complained about painful sex, she asked if I was on vaginal estrogen. I was angry that no doctor had mentioned it.

If you’re avoiding sex because it hurts, or because desire has gone quiet, it’s worth asking about estradiol cream/pessaries or ring. It has certainly changed my life.

Dr. Patel’s bigger message is about permission. Permission to still want sex at 70. Permission to tell your partner what you need — including that if they’ve stepped back, you might need to look elsewhere for that connection. Permission to adapt: different positions, more patience, a lot of laughter, and no more hanging off the chandeliers.

She said it plainly: we only go through this life once. Are you going to make the most of what you enjoy?

Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.

You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.

If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.

More than ever, I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you are able.

In this episode, I unpack my long-held scepticism about so‑called “orgasm techniques” and the pressure on women to climax in multiple ways. Then I speak to Steve Bodansky, co‑creator of Extended Massive Orgasm (EMO), a practice focused on clitoral stimulation, deep relaxation, and “peaking” (edging) to prolong pleasure.

We explore how extended orgasm works, why relaxation matters more than effort, and how orgasmic capacity can grow with practice — even into your 70s and 80s. We also talk about aging, self‑pleasure, conditioning the body for pleasure, and what it really means to invest in your sexual wellbeing for the long term.

Can a marriage survive infidelity?

This week I spoke with Renelle Nelson, a licensed marriage and family therapist who’s spent 11 years specialising in affair recovery. She helps couples rebuild after betrayal, when everything’s shattered and nobody knows where to start.

Turns out infidelity isn’t just sex outside the marriage. It’s anytime you go outside your relationship to get pleasure that should be shared within it. Money. Communication. Emotional affairs. Physical ones. Renelle prefers the word “betrayal” because it’s more accurate. You break contracts you didn’t realise you’d signed.

Here’s the thing nobody talks about: it’s not a male sport anymore. In her practice, men and women cheat in equal numbers. Women are leaving marriages after raising kids, after becoming empty nesters. The emotional labour falls heavily on them. Sometimes an affair is escape from domesticity. Not dissatisfaction. Escape.

So what does affair recovery actually look like?

Different from regular marriage counselling, for starters. More talking won’t prevent betrayal. More sex won’t prevent it. More date nights won’t prevent it. The only things that stop betrayal are communication and not wanting to do it. That’s it.

Renelle’s approach: you can’t heal what you can’t reveal. She works with the person who cheated first. Who did they become? What need were they trying to meet? Then she works with the person who stayed. Both deserve healing. Neither caused the affair, but both are responsible for their part in the marriage moving forward.

I asked whether opening a relationship after betrayal ever works.

Her answer was direct: it doesn’t. Couples who open relationships successfully do so from trust and solid foundation. Starting that journey on a lie, with one partner settling because they can’t keep the other person faithful, almost always fails. If you can’t communicate basic needs with one person, adding more people just multiplies the chaos.

My favourite bit? Renelle’s seeing younger couples come to therapy after dating a month, maybe two. They want to learn how to communicate before problems arrive. They’re treating therapy as education, not crisis management. They want enhancement, exploration, education, eroticism. That last one matters most.

Eroticism is what’s missing in long-term relationships, she said. When it leaves, people turn to porn. When you think you know everything about your partner, desire dries up.

Literally.

As Renelle put it: “When you think you know it all, that means you dried up. You’re not getting hard or wet.”

Fair point.

What Matters

* Women cheat just as much as men now. The numbers are equal.

* Affair recovery heals individuals first, then the relationship.

* You can’t heal what you refuse to reveal. Truth comes before repair.

* Opening relationships after betrayal rarely works. Trust must exist first.

* Eroticism sustains long-term desire. Mystery matters more than familiarity.

* Younger couples seek therapy as prevention. That’s actual progress.

Check out these resources from Renelle:

The Pleasure Agenda: Couples Edition Undated Planner

Pleasure After Betrayal: Aftercare Edition Undated Planner

The Couple’s Connection Deck

Connect with Renelle

Website

https://renellenelson.thinkific.com/

Instagram

Facebook

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Ever wondered what it’s like to hire a matchmaker?

This week I spoke with Tammy Shaklee, a heterosexual woman who specialises in matching LGBTQ+ clients over 50. She’s spent 14 years helping gay and lesbian singles find serious relationships.

It goes without saying, I was curious to hear how she got her start. Turns out, after her divorce, Tammy hired a matchmaker and met her husband. Years later, a gay friend said he wished there was a matchmaking service for gay men who valued privacy. Tammy assumed one existed. She researched for 24 hours, pretending to be a 40-year-old gay physician looking for a dignified way to meet professionals online.

She found nothing dignified.

That’s when she realised matchmakers weren’t serving the LGBTQ community at all. Being entrepreneurial, she built a service exclusively for gay and lesbian singles seeking serious relationships called H4M.

The biggest problem she encountered? Older gay men, it is assumed, want younger partners. Younger men want financial support. If you’re seeking someone your own age with similar stability, you’re stuck. App for gay men are more often than not hookup platforms. They don’t work for finding real compatibility. That’s where matchmakers come in - introducing you to people you’d never meet on your own.

My favourite story of Tammy’s? A 66-year-old widow called Tammy, bursting with enthusiasm. She’d just spoken with her parents in their late 90s, still independent, still in love, still caring for each other. “I realised I have a 30-year relationship in front of me. We need to get started.” Tammy matched her twice. She met someone and never needed another introduction.

Tammy’s filter for clients: “Would I have you at my holiday table? Would I set you up with my siblings?” She turns people away if she’s not the right fit, then helps them find someone who is.

Cost: Thousands, not tens of thousands. She starts with a phone call. If the decision i is made to work together, Tammy will introduce you to one new person per month. She manages venues, reservations, and feedback calls. The process continues until one match clicks.

The takeaway: “When you love the life you’ve built, that’s magnetic. People want kindness and someone happy with what they have.” Contentment attracts. Desperation repels. Don’t we know it?!

What Matters

* You might have 30 years left. Do the math on your own life.

* People want partners who like their lives, not people who hate theirs.

* Apps are hookup tools now. Use different tools for serious relationships.

* Interview your matchmaker. Ask: Would they have you at their holiday table?

* Enthusiasm wins. Hope beats pessimism every time.

Connect with Tammy

Website https://www.h4m.com/

Instagram H4M Matchmaking

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/H4MMatchmaking

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@H4MMatchmaking

Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.

You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.

If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.

I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you can.

If you’ve been in a long-term relationship for years (or decades), there’s a good chance this sentence will feel uncomfortably familiar: “We haven’t had sex in years, and I don’t know how to fix it.”

That’s exactly why this week’s episode of Sex Advice for Seniors hits such a very familiar nerve for me, because it speaks to my own experience.

My guest, Elana Auerbach, didn’t come on the podcast with a tidy theory or a list of bedroom “tips.” She came with something far more useful: a lived solution and I’m all about practical ways to fix everyday problems. After nearly twelve years of frustration, mismatched desire, and quietly building resentment in her marriage, Elana and her husband found their way back to intimacy through something surprisingly simple: a weekly, scheduled pleasure practice she now calls The Sure Thing .

Yes, scheduled sex. You know, the type of sex I harp on about infinitum.

In fact, as I openly shared in the conversation, putting intimacy in the diary can be deeply liberating. When the time is protected, there’s no negotiating, no wondering if tonight is “the night,” no mental load filled with grocery lists or laundry. The body and brain get advance notice: this time is for pleasure. For many women, especially as we agem anticipation alone can gently press our internal intimacy accelerator, much like a car long forgotten in the garage. Once neglected and dust-covered, it’s now a vehicle we’ve chosen to repair, restore, and bring back to life.

What makes Elana’s approach refreshing is that it removes performance pressure entirely. The intention isn’t orgasm. Sex isn’t mandatory. Penetration isn’t the goal. The only aim is to deepen intimacy, pleasure, and connection. Sometimes that leads to sex. Sometimes it doesn’t. And paradoxically, that’s exactly why it works.

A big turning point in the episode is the discussion around responsive desire - the very normal experience of not feeling “in the mood” until touch, closeness, or sensual context begins. Many older women assume their libido has disappeared when in reality it’s simply waiting for the right conditions. A kiss on the neck. Lying in bed together. Holding hands. Small things that let the nervous system relax and say, oh, yes, this feels good.

Perhaps most powerful of all is Elana’s insistence that this practice doesn’t depend on having a willing partner. There’s a “solo Sure Thing” too, a reminder that pleasure, connection, and kindness toward our own bodies are not things we earn through relationship status.

If intimacy has quietly slipped out of your life, this episode is a hopeful place to start. And if you think scheduled pleasure sounds unromantic, you might just discover it’s the most freeing thing you’ve tried in years.

🎧 Listen to the full episode of Sex Advice for Seniors to hear Elana’s story, her practice, and why pleasure might be one of the most underrated forms of medicine we have.

The Sure Thing is out on 3rd February. Order your copy here:

00:00 Introduction to Sexual Frustration in Long-Term Relationships

01:01 The Birth of the ‘Sure Thing’ Practice

05:16 Scheduling Intimacy: A Path to Liberation

08:12 Overcoming Resentment and Reconnecting

09:26 The Solo Sure Thing: Self-Exploration and Pleasure

11:59 Building Communication Through Rituals

12:25 Responsive vs. Spontaneous Desire

16:28 The Power of Small Touches

18:16 Pleasure as Medicine: The Benefits of Intimacy

21:35 Navigating Imbalances in Desire

24:19 Starting Small: The Importance of Daily Connection

24:57 The Release of ‘The Short Thing’ Book

26:50 Kindness and Intention in Relationships

The Sure Thing is available from 3rd February. You can buy it from Amazon here.

On similar topic, you may also want to check out this episode.

Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.

You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.

If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.

I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you can.

What do we learn about sex when no one talks about pleasure?

In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, clinical psychologist Dr. La Keita Carter (Dr. L) joined me for a powerful, honest conversation about sex, silence, and the myths surrounding women of colour and intimacy. We explore how cultural messages, shame, and generational “don’t bring a baby into this house” rules shape sexual desire, relationships, and self-worth, often long into adulthood.

Dr. L breaks down the difference between sexual interest and sexual activity, why so many women feel obligated to have sex they don’t want, and how the “strong woman” stereotype leaves little room for softness in the bedroom.

A thoughtful, eye-opening discussion about pleasure, power, and why whatever we’re silent about often carries the most shame.

🎧 Listen now and join the conversation.

00:00 Introduction to Dr. La Keita Carter

00:54 Understanding Sexuality and Trauma

01:59 Cultural Assumptions About Women of Color

03:44 The Silence Surrounding Sexual Education

05:19 The Role of Pleasure in Sexuality

09:14 Duty vs. Desire in Sexual Relationships

10:45 Masturbation and Self-Exploration

12:45 The Importance of Orgasms

15:22 Strength and Vulnerability in the Bedroom

17:58 The Exhaustion of Being Strong

20:42 Historical Perspectives on Women of Color and Sexuality

22:25 Over-Sexualization of Women of Color

25:48 The Male Perspective on Sexuality

27:24 The Importance of Language in Gender Discussions

31:37 Ending the Cycle of Shame

Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.

You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.

If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.

I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you can.

I’m a big believer that we can receive good advice from anyone, regardless of their age. Emma Shandy Anway is a West Coast-based Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specialises in relational and sex therapy. Although in her mid thirties, she has extensive experience working with couples aged 50+ and, during this episode, we discussed her work specifically with those aged 70+.

Having chatted several weeks ago with Dr. Susan Campbell, herself in her 80s, about her sex life, I was curious on how someone fifty years her junior approaches the topic with her older clients because I have found that lived experience counts for a huge amount and sometimes those who have no concept of what it means to be older fall into familiar tropes and stereotypes that have no bearing on reality.

I can’t say that about Emma whose approach with her older patients clearly demonstrates an openness and eagerness to help them embrace their sexual selves, whether that means exploring open relationships, kink or simply learning how to be a better lover to each other.

As Emma says, age, illness and changing bodies do not have to mean the end of a vibrant sex life; the biggest shifts are in mindset, communication and willingness to experiment.​

What I know is that it is never too late to learn, explore or rewrite your sexual story, as long as you genuinely want to and are prepared to be curious, honest and kind with yourself and your partner.

You can find Emma here:

https://www.esacounseling.com/about

https://www.instagram.com/pennyboardpsych

Here’s a Yes/No/Maybe checklist I consider to be particularly comprehensive:

You can find the episode with Dr. Susan Campbell here:

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Sexuality in Later Life

01:44 Understanding the Motivations for Seeking Therapy

06:53 Redefining Good Sex: From Okay to Magnificent

12:06 Navigating Disappointment and Apathy in Relationships

16:19 Body Confidence and Aging: Embracing Change

23:09 Exploring Alternative Relationships and Sexuality

27:47 Communication Tools for Sexual Exploration

Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.

You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.

If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.

I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you can.

As soon as I saw Dr. Nikki Monti’s photo, an older woman with her streak of blue in her dark hair, I thought, we’re going to get along. A psychotherapist, who also calls herself a ‘thought healer,’ Nikki has appeared on a variety of high profile TV shows such as Keeping up with the Kardashians and recently published a memoir, ‘The Divine Traumedy of Nicki Joy: A True Grime Tale.’

This is a woman with a colourful past that includes three marriages, the first two short and chaotic, intertwined with drugs, alcoholism, violence and very brutal sex, which she now sees as reflecting how badly she treated herself. Her third lasted three decades and ended with the death of her partner, who following a prostatectomy, decided sex was over for both of them.

Without wishing to spoil this very lively episode, her current partner, whom also had a prostatectomy, chose a very different path, embracing creativity, sensuality and adaptation, and with him she describes having the best sex of her life.

Nikki is the living embodiment of my catchphrase ‘desire never retires’ and proof that, as she says, “older people can have rich sex lives if they stay in their bodies and stop running from themselves.” I encourage you to have a listen.

You can find Dr. Nikki Monti here:

https://www.instagram.com/drnickimonti

All her books and her website is available here:

https://stucknomore.com/books/

01:43 Exploring Relationships and Marriages

04:20 Lessons from Past Marriages

08:40 Navigating Love After Loss

10:21 The Importance of Sexuality and Intimacy

18:17 Finding Connection Beyond Type

27:46 Rising into Love and Self-Discovery

If you like this episode, and you’re a man who has also had a prostatectomy, you might find these two other episodes useful:

Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.

You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.

If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.

I rely on your financial support to help produce each weekly episode of the podcast and blog post. Do consider becoming a paid subscriber if you can.

How retirement, changing identity and life transitions can contribute to depression later in life.

Why depression and antidepressants can both have a major impact on sexual desire and erectile function.

How couples can talk about changes in intimacy without blame or shame.

Why erectile dysfunction isn't always about attraction—and what partners often misunderstand.

How menopause, changing hormones and body image can affect women's confidence and sex lives.

Why exercise, purpose and meaningful activities can improve both mental wellbeing and sexual health.

How to have more productive conversations with your GP or healthcare provider about sex and medication.

Practical ways couples can support one another through mental health challenges without losing emotional or physical intimacy.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:10 How Retirement Can Trigger Depression

03:00 Antidepressants and Erectile Dysfunction

06:20 Supporting a Partner Through Depression

08:45 Rebuilding Intimacy When Erections Change

13:20 Talking to Your Doctor About Sexual Side Effects

16:00 Looking Beyond Medication

20:40 Menopause, Mental Health and Sexual Confidence

24:00 New Developments in Hormone Therapy

27:00 Lifestyle Changes That Support Mental Health

30:00 Finding Joy, Purpose and Better Relationships

34:40 Final Thoughts

Show Notes

What happens when your mental health begins to affect your relationship—and your sex life?

Depression is often discussed in terms of mood, motivation and energy, but far less attention is given to what it can do to intimacy. Whether it's retirement, changing identity, a health scare or simply the challenges of ageing, many people find that their emotional wellbeing and sexual confidence become closely intertwined.

In this episode, I'm joined by clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Stewart to explore the often-overlooked relationship between mental health and sexual wellbeing later in life. Rather than treating sex as a separate issue, we look at the bigger picture: how purpose, confidence, relationships, hormones and medication all influence our desire for intimacy.

We also tackle one of the most common concerns affecting older couples—the sexual side effects of antidepressants. Dr. Stewart explains why erectile dysfunction isn't always a reflection of attraction, how partners can avoid misunderstandings, and why honest conversations with healthcare professionals are so important when choosing treatment.

Our conversation also turns to women's experiences of menopause, changing hormones and body confidence, alongside practical strategies that can support both emotional and sexual health beyond medication alone.

Ultimately, this episode is a reminder that good sex isn't simply about physical function. It's closely connected to how we feel about ourselves, how we communicate with our partners and whether we're living a life that still brings us purpose and joy.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Understanding Depression, Medication and Sexual Health

What Is Depression?

Depression is more than simply feeling sad. It can affect motivation, confidence, energy levels, sleep, relationships and sexual desire. Life transitions such as retirement, bereavement or health problems can increase the risk of depression later in life.

Why Can Antidepressants Affect Your Sex Life?

Some antidepressants—particularly SSRIs—can reduce libido, delay orgasm or contribute to erectile dysfunction. However, not every medication has the same side effects, and different treatment options may be available depending on your circumstances.

What Are the Common Signs?

Reduced interest in sex

Difficulty getting or maintaining an erection

Lower libido

Fatigue and lack of motivation

Changes in mood and confidence

Withdrawal from relationships and social activities

What Can People Do About It?

If you're experiencing changes in your mental health or sex life, don't assume you have to live with them. Speak openly with your GP or specialist about your symptoms, including any impact on intimacy. Medication reviews, psychological support, regular exercise, meaningful activities and honest communication with your partner can all play an important role in improving both emotional wellbeing and sexual satisfaction.

Key Takeaways

Depression often affects sexual desire as much as mood.

Retirement and loss of purpose can significantly impact mental wellbeing.

Some antidepressants affect sexual function more than others.

Erectile dysfunction isn't necessarily a sign of lost attraction.

Open communication helps couples navigate changes together.

Women experience significant emotional and physical changes during menopause.

Exercise and meaningful activities can improve both mood and libido.

Tell your doctor if maintaining an active sex life is important to you.

Mental and sexual health should be treated together, not separately.

Seeking help early can prevent problems from becoming entrenched.

About the Guest

Dr. Karen Stewart is a clinical psychologist based in Los Angeles who specialises in relationships, couples therapy, dating and sexual wellbeing. Working with clients across different stages of life, she helps individuals and couples navigate depression, anxiety, relationship challenges and intimacy issues with practical, evidence-based strategies. Her work focuses on improving communication, strengthening emotional connection and supporting healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

·      Bonus Live: A Marriage, a Breakdown, and a Sexual Awakening - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-sex-advice-6c7

·      Bonus Live: You Are Not Broken: A Trauma Recovery Conversation - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-with-erika

·      Dating After Loss: Redefining Love and Intimacy After Widowhood - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/sex-grief-and-starting-over-dating

Why women's pain is often taken more seriously than their pleasure—and how that affects healthcare throughout life.

How outdated beliefs about older women's sexuality can prevent them from receiving the treatment they need.

Why menopause can be the beginning of a richer, more confident sex life rather than the end of one.

What Suzannah learned while researching women's sexual health, objectification and pleasure for her latest books.

How poor sex education continues to shape women's expectations of pain, intimacy and relationships.

Why consent, boundaries and sexual confidence are skills that can be learned at any age.

What happens inside sex-positive communities—and why empowerment and objectification aren't always the same thing.

Practical ways women can advocate for themselves when healthcare professionals dismiss their symptoms.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:30 Why Women's Pain Has Been Normalised

05:45 Older Women, Menopause and Sexuality

08:40 Why Women's Health Is Still Under-Researched

11:00 Subjectified: From Objectification to Empowerment

15:20 Sex Clubs, Consent and Female Agency

20:00 Boundaries, Sexual Confidence and Saying No

24:50 Better Sex After Menopause

27:00 Advocating for Yourself in Healthcare

29:00 Final Thoughts

Show Notes

Why are women taught to expect pain, but rarely taught to expect pleasure?

From our very first periods to childbirth, menopause and beyond, many women grow up hearing that discomfort is simply part of being female. Yet when pain becomes normalised, something else often gets overlooked: our right to pleasure, satisfying relationships and healthcare that takes our concerns seriously.

In this episode, I'm joined by writer, sexologist and psychotherapist Suzannah Weiss, whose latest book Eve's Blessing explores how cultural attitudes towards women's bodies continue to shape everything from medical care to sexual confidence. Together, we discuss why older women are so often treated as though sexuality no longer matters, despite research showing that many experience greater confidence and more fulfilling intimacy after menopause.

Our conversation also explores objectification, consent and sexual empowerment. Suzannah shares what she learned through her own experiences in sex-positive communities, explaining why being seen as desirable isn't the same as having your own desires recognised and respected.

Perhaps what stayed with me most is how often women have to advocate for themselves. Whether it's asking for treatment, seeking a second medical opinion or simply trusting that persistent pain isn't something they should have to tolerate, meaningful change often begins with believing that our experiences matter.

Because ageing doesn't make us less deserving of pleasure, better healthcare or fulfilling relationships. If anything, it gives us more reason to expect them.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

Women's pain is still frequently under-recognised in healthcare.

Older women deserve the same attention to their sexual wellbeing as anyone else.

Menopause can be an opportunity to rediscover intimacy and confidence.

Pleasure is an important part of health, not a luxury.

Consent and boundaries become easier with confidence and experience.

Healthcare professionals don't always have all the answers—second opinions matter.

Pelvic floor therapy and vaginal oestrogen can improve quality of life for many women.

Good communication is essential for satisfying intimacy at every age.

Sexual empowerment is about understanding your own desires, not simply being desired.

It's never too late to advocate for your health or your pleasure.

About the Guest

Suzannah Weiss is a psychotherapist, certified sexologist, marriage and family therapist, and award-winning writer who has published more than 9,000 articles on relationships, sexuality and women's health. She is the author of Eve's Blessing, which explores the relationship between women's pain, pleasure and healthcare, and Subjectified, a memoir examining sexual empowerment, objectification and consent. Alongside her writing, Suzannah provides psychotherapy and sex coaching, helping people build healthier, more fulfilling intimate lives.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

·      Bonus Live: What Jealousy is Really Trying to Tell You - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-and-joli

·      The Truth about Sex we were Rarely Taught - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-truth-about-sex-no-one-taught

·      Desire Doesn't Retire: The Secret Sex Lives of People Over 60 - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/getting-down-and-dirty-with-kathy

Can Monogamy Evolve Into Open Relationships?

What I Discussed With Dr. Tammy Nelson…

Why monogamy isn't simply "open" or "closed"—and how every couple creates their own relationship agreement.

How relationships naturally evolve over time, and why regular conversations can prevent resentment from building.

Why talking about fantasies doesn't necessarily mean you want to act on them.

How changing life stages, retirement and ageing can shift what we want from love, sex and partnership.

Why jealousy is often about much more than sex—and what it can reveal about unmet emotional needs.

How transparency, rather than rigid rules, creates stronger and more resilient relationships.

Why appreciation and kindness may be the most underrated relationship skills of all.

How to begin difficult conversations about commitment without fear or blame.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:45 What Is Open Monogamy?

05:10 Why Relationship Agreements Need to Evolve

08:20 Suzanne's Own Relationship Story

11:45 Fantasies, Curiosity and Communication

13:30 Open Monogamy vs Polyamory

17:45 Defining Monogamy on Your Own Terms

20:00 Understanding Jealousy

27:10 Appreciating What Already Works

30:30 Creating Conscious Relationships

33:00 Free Relationship Resources

Show Notes

What does commitment actually mean after decades together?

Most of us inherit ideas about relationships without ever questioning where they came from. We assume monogamy has one definition, that commitment should look a certain way, and that if our needs change over time, something must be wrong with the relationship itself.

But life has a habit of changing us. We retire. Our bodies change. Children leave home. We have more freedom, different priorities and, sometimes, new questions about intimacy and connection. Perhaps the real challenge isn't staying the same, but learning how to grow together without losing sight of each other.

In this episode, I'm joined by relationship therapist and author Dr. Tammy Nelson, whose book Open Monogamy encourages couples to rethink the assumptions they've inherited about love, fidelity and commitment. Rather than promoting one type of relationship over another, Tammy invites us to become more intentional about the agreements we make with the people we love.

As we talk, I find myself reflecting on my own relationship and how even small shifts can leave us wondering whether it's time for a new conversation. We explore why fantasies don't always need to become reality, how jealousy can point us towards unmet needs rather than failures, and why honesty, appreciation and kindness often matter far more than any particular relationship label.

Perhaps there's no such thing as the perfect relationship model. There are only relationships that continue to evolve because the people in them are willing to keep talking, listening and adapting together.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

Every couple defines monogamy differently.

Relationships benefit from regular conversations rather than assumptions.

Fantasies can strengthen intimacy without becoming reality.

Jealousy often highlights emotional needs rather than sexual ones.

Transparency builds stronger relationships than rigid rules.

Kindness and appreciation help couples navigate difficult conversations.

Relationship agreements can evolve as people change.

Honest communication reduces the likelihood of betrayal.

There is no single "correct" model of commitment.

Healthy relationships are built through ongoing curiosity and mutual respect.

About the Guest

Dr. Tammy Nelson is a licensed psychotherapist, certified sex and relationship therapist, speaker and bestselling author with more than 30 years of clinical experience. She is the founder and Executive Director of the Integrative Sex Therapy Institute and has written several influential books, including The New Monogamy and Open Monogamy. Through her clinical work, teaching and writing, Tammy helps individuals and couples build healthier, more conscious relationships by encouraging honest communication, emotional transparency and relationship agreements that reflect their own values rather than societal expectations.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

·      Bonus Live: The Relationship Lesson That Ends So Much Conflict - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/bonus-live-the-relationship-lesson

·      Why Long-Term Couples Drift Apart—and the Simple Habit That Brings Them Back - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/why-couples-lose-the-spark-and-how

·      Recovering from Infidelity after 50: What nobody tells you about Betrayal - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/recovering-from-infidelity-after

Does Intimacy and Sex Evolve in Your 80s?

What I Discussed With Dr. Susan Campbell…

Why dating after 70 isn't about following old relationship rules—and how creating your own relationship can be incredibly liberating.

How one couple found lasting love in their seventies and discovered that intimacy continued to evolve well into their eighties.

Why great sex later in life often has less to do with penetration and more to do with creativity, playfulness and emotional connection.

How scheduling intimacy, embracing humour and adapting to physical changes can strengthen long-term relationships.

Why older couples shouldn't be afraid to explore mirrors, role play, sensual touch and other forms of intimacy.

How online dating can help build confidence, resilience and self-awareness—even if it doesn't lead to a lasting relationship.

Why vulnerability, self-compassion and honest conversations become even more important as our bodies and relationships change.

How loss, ageing and changing abilities don't have to mean giving up on love, pleasure or connection.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

02:00 Finding Love Online in Your Seventies

05:00 Why Sex Changes Between 80 and 84

08:00 Designing Relationships That Work Later in Life

10:30 Dating After Loss and Building Confidence Again

16:00 Better Orgasms in Your Eighties?

19:30 Mirrors, Playfulness and Rediscovering Desire

24:00 Why Scheduling Intimacy Works

27:00 Beyond Penetration: Expanding Your Definition of Sex

31:00 Role Play, Fantasy and Erotic Creativity

35:00 Living With Loss, Vulnerability and Deep Intimacy

39:00 Final Thoughts

Show Notes

What does a fulfilling sex life look like when you're in your eighties?

For many of us, it's a question we rarely ask. We tend to assume that intimacy naturally fades with age, or that physical changes eventually make sex impossible. Yet perhaps the problem isn't our bodies—it's our expectations. If we continue measuring intimacy by what we could do decades ago, we risk overlooking everything that's still possible today.

In this episode, I'm joined by psychologist, relationship coach and bestselling author Dr. Susan Campbell, who offers a refreshingly honest perspective drawn not only from decades of professional experience but also from her own relationship. Together with her partner, whom she met through online dating in her seventies, Susan has discovered that intimacy doesn't disappear as we age—it simply asks us to become more curious, more adaptable and, perhaps, a little more playful.

Rather than mourning what has changed, we explore what can be gained. From scheduling intimacy and laughing through awkward moments to discovering new ways of giving and receiving pleasure, Susan reminds us that satisfying relationships are built on far more than physical performance. They thrive on communication, creativity and the willingness to keep learning about ourselves and each other.

What stayed with me most was Susan's honesty about ageing. She doesn't pretend that growing older is easy. Bodies change, health changes and sometimes our partners change too. But intimacy isn't about pretending those realities don't exist—it's about facing them together with compassion, humour and love.

Because perhaps the greatest gift of growing older is not knowing exactly how everything will change, but discovering that connection can deepen in ways we never expected.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

Intimacy can continue to grow well into our eighties.

Great sex doesn't have to include penetration.

Creativity and playfulness often become more important with age.

Scheduling intimacy can help couples stay connected.

Online dating can be a valuable way to build confidence later in life.

Honest conversations strengthen relationships through every stage of ageing.

Humour helps couples adapt to physical changes.

Vulnerability can deepen emotional and sexual intimacy.

Self-compassion is essential when facing the losses that come with ageing.

Every couple has the freedom to redefine what a satisfying relationship looks like.

About the Guest

Dr. Susan Campbell is a psychologist, relationship coach and bestselling author of eleven books on communication, intimacy and personal growth, including Getting Real, The Couple's Journey, Truth in Dating and From Triggered to Tranquil. For decades, she has helped individuals and couples build healthier, more authentic relationships through honest communication and emotional awareness. Now in her eighties, Susan combines her professional expertise with her own lived experience of finding love later in life, offering a rare and inspiring perspective on intimacy, ageing and lifelong personal growth.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

·      Bonus Live: What Later-Life Sexual Awakening Really Looks Like - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-and-indigo

·      Bonus Live: Does Pleasure Really Get Better With Age? - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-and-avivah

·      Desire Doesn't Retire: The Secret Sex Lives of People Over 60 - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/getting-down-and-dirty-with-kathy

Is It Possible to Reclaim Pleasure Despite the Beliefs You’ve Been Taught?

What I Discussed With Lauren Elise Rogers…

How the beliefs we absorbed about sex in childhood can quietly shape our relationships for decades without us even realising it.

Why "weeding your sexual garden" can help you identify outdated ideas about intimacy, pleasure and relationships that no longer serve you.

How moving through different stages of life can completely change what sex, connection and desire mean to us.

Why pleasure isn't selfish—and how many of us have unknowingly prioritised everything else above our own intimacy.

How religious, cultural and family messages can influence our sexual confidence long into adulthood.

Why many empty nesters discover they no longer know—or even like—their partner, and what they can do about it.

How understanding your own sexual values can lead to more satisfying relationships later in life, whether you're partnered or single.

Why informed choices—not shame or fear—are the foundation of a healthy, fulfilling sex life at any age.

And much more...

Episode Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:10 What Does It Mean to Weed Your Sexual Garden?

03:00 The Childhood Beliefs That Shape Adult Relationships

07:00 Suzanne Reflects on Her Own Sexual Journey

12:00 Lauren's Story: From Purity Culture to Sex Education

18:00 Parenting, Relationships and Pleasure

22:00 Why Great Sex Starts with Liking Your Partner

25:00 Pleasure, Religion and Cultural Conditioning

28:00 What Research Says About Thriving Sex Lives After 60

30:00 Informed Decision-Making and Sexual Values

32:00 Final Reflections

Show Notes

Where did your beliefs about sex actually come from?

Most of us assume our attitudes towards intimacy, pleasure and relationships are simply part of who we are. But if we stop and look a little more closely, many of those beliefs were planted long before we ever had the chance to decide whether they truly reflected our own values.

In this episode, I'm joined by certified holistic sexuality educator and relationship coach Lauren Elise Rogers, who invites us to think about our intimate lives in a completely different way. Using the metaphor of a "sexual belief garden", Lauren explains how our childhood, family, religion and culture can all leave lasting impressions that continue to shape our relationships well into later life.

As we explore the exercise together, I find myself reflecting on my own experiences of growing up across different countries and cultures, and how those experiences influenced the way I approached relationships, belonging and sex. Lauren also shares her deeply personal journey from growing up in a strict evangelical community to becoming a sexuality educator who now helps others question inherited beliefs without shame.

What I loved most about this conversation is that it isn't about telling anyone how they should live. It's about giving ourselves permission to ask better questions. Which beliefs still serve us? Which ones no longer fit? And how might our relationships change if we made choices based on our own values rather than someone else's expectations?

Because perhaps the healthiest sexual relationship we can have isn't the one that follows the rules we've inherited—it's the one we choose consciously for ourselves.

Listen, learn and enjoy.

Key Takeaways

Many sexual beliefs are inherited rather than consciously chosen.

Childhood, family and culture all influence how we experience intimacy.

It's never too late to rethink beliefs that no longer serve you.

Pleasure and desire deserve the same attention as other areas of wellbeing.

Strong relationships require ongoing reflection and communication.

Empty nesters often need to reconnect as partners, not just parents.

Great sex starts with understanding your own values.

Shame can prevent people from exploring healthy intimacy.

There is no single "right" way to experience sexuality.

Informed decision-making leads to healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

About the Guest

Lauren Elise Rogers is a certified holistic sexuality educator, embodied intimacy and relationship coach, and founder of SexEd4U. After growing up in a strict evangelical environment that shaped her early beliefs about sex and relationships, Lauren embarked on a personal journey of healing and education that transformed both her life and career. Today, she works with individuals and couples around the world, helping them challenge inherited beliefs, embrace sex-positive values and make intentional, informed choices about intimacy, pleasure and relationships throughout every stage of life.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.

Connect With Suzanne

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexadviceforseniors

Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/sexadviceforseniors

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexadviceforseniors

Substack: https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com

Want More?

Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.

Free Downloadable Guide: 10 Most Overlooked Secrets to Better Sex PDF: https://subscribepage.io/suzannenoblefreebie

Sign Up for My FREE Newsletter: https://sexadviceforseniors.com

Overcome Erectile Dysfunction & Stay Firm: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Check Out My Storefront for Better Sex: https://zaap.bio/stayfirm

Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring

Related Episodes

·      The Truth about Sex we were Rarely Taught - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-truth-about-sex-no-one-taught

·      The Lie Women Were Taught About Sex and Marriage - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/the-lie-women-were-taught-about-sex

From Style to Sensuality: Sarah Ward on Reclaiming Pleasure and Shedding Shame - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/from-style-to-sensuality-sarah-ward