More often than not, I find myself asking the big questions like "Where is my squatty potty, goddammit!"

Gotta get up to get down and gotta get down to eat ass.

Bring out your dead, bring out your fun. Sometimes cleanliness is harder than filth.

Sometimes you eat ice cream too late at night and you really feel it the next morning. Really ruins your afternoon. I'm gonna do it.

Beans don't make farts, I make farts. And I'm all out of beans.

Had a little mini meltdown. I'm fine.

Eventually my body will stop hurting, but it won't be today.

Sure, birds can fly- but can they dig? No! At least, I don't think so. You know what, if a bird can fly and dig, it's probably not friendly. Trust no one. Fear everything.

Crumbs in the couch, crumbs in my shirt, call me a damn crumb cake (if you dare).

When there's a ghost you need to bust, who you gonna call?

Constantine. I feel like that guy is probably better equipped to handle something like that. Shia Laberdoodle is his friend and that counts for something (and something isn't nothing).

I was afraid to try and spell his last name

In all seriousness- I think I talked into the microphone that wasn't recording. Sorry. Actually, no I'm not. This is an artistic choice, dog. Be cool. Damn, I fucked up.

I heard a story from your dad. He is PISSED. You better call your mom, it's her birthday and you're being petulant.

There isn't always a pot of gold at the ned of the rainbow, but there is always a man with a green hat who has been overserved.

I'm talking about big cans. Mombo jombos.

I don't know what the hell is going on, but it's raining. Rain rain go away, come again another day. I gotta find better shoes.

The waves are ridden. Big shredders. Your face meets mine. We kiss under the beaming glow of Trump tower. We never see each other again. For shame.

This takes a turn

But in the future, they'll have powers.

I really need a doctor.

The river was running so we had to dam it up. It's all plugged now. I remember when plugs didn't just mean for hair- it's a damn shame that age comes faster than youth leaves you. Anyways, I was thinking about getting fast food later.

A man walks into a bar. He's not doing well. His wife left, his house burned down, and his car is quite literally, a nitrous fueled forklift. If this isn't hell, I don't know what is.

This was a really big joint interrupted my lawn care workers. Twice. Maybe three times.

The churning. Butter. My guts. Yum yum in my tum tum.

Mama Mia, here I go again. I smoked a really lot amount. This was a big $40 blunt. Really too much, if I'm being honest. I feel like I've ruined my day, ergo. I think I'm gonna start using a bunch of malapropisms here. You're conceived, sir.

Kason Steakum keeps his heart rate above 5 for 30 minutes.

The invasion will not be silent. We will overcome. Yeah, and two small orders of fries.

The sea is salty, but the lake is full of poop.

Boys will be boys and girls will remain a mystery to me.

What else is there to say? He was great. He was quick. He was kinder than anyone I had ever met. I'll miss you, Mr. Clean.

When a boy becomes a man, he gets older .

A jet ski by any other name. Kisses from the deep blue sea- the first part got cut off.

Jack Antonoff is an anagram for Jack Off on Anto

A nightmare is always a dream, but a dream is only sometimes a nightmare. I once shit my pants on an escalator.

You can't tell me what to do = you can't tell you what to do = I can't tell what you to do did you? I did! \/ I'm really full. I had a shawarma pizza tonight.All of it. And then I baked cookies..

My rib is broken. Ouchie mama.

Here it is. I'm just gonna get high and talk into this fuckin' thing.

I am just a vessel- I carry the poop to the toilet. The circle of life.

If you're gonna wash my car, use your elbows. Not only will I get a better view of your biceps, but it's a more effective way to scrub.

Big time moves. Small time crooks. Get your hand out of the damn cookie jar or I'm calling your parents

I am so tired of explaining myself- the tape goes in the drawer and the light has to be off when you're yelling at my son and the plumber is on the way!

Let's get one thing straight- you can't spell Octopus without CTO. Chief Technology Officer. Of the Sea.

Well, we did it. A momentous episode here at the Sesh Lab (TM). We've got frogs asking to be princes and we've got royalty asking for cake. I don't know where you're at, but when you're here- you're familia.

The weather. It’s cold. Now we’re talking about the weather. Brrrrrrrr. Ice cold. Gucci mane. He once showed up to an open mic in East Atlanta Village driving an ice cream truck, but I digress-