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Does drinking alcohol actually take the craving away, or does that first drink make you want even more? For people struggling with alcohol addiction, the answer can be frightening. In this next thought clip, I revisit a conversation with Molly McBride as we explore alcohol cravings, alcoholism, relapse and why one drink can trigger a desperate need for more. Through honest personal experience, we examine how understanding this cycle can help people stay sober and protect their recovery.

Imagine going from telling yourself you'll have just one glass of wine on a Friday to waking up in a psychiatric hospital four or five days later, with no real idea of how you got there. This is the reality of alcohol addiction, and it's a reminder of just how quickly things can unravel when drinking is no longer something you can control.

We talk about the terrifying cycle of blackouts, injuries, repeated relapses and the desperate desire to prove that you can drink normally. When alcohol is everywhere, from family traditions to birthdays, celebrations and nights out, accepting that you cannot drink like other people can feel incredibly difficult.

But one of the most powerful realisations in recovery is understanding what happens when you take that first drink. Rather than satisfying the craving, it can make you want more. The very thing you turn to for relief can leave you trapped in a cycle you were desperately trying to escape.

For years, the temptation to drink can be tied to the belief that alcohol will help you relax, quieten your mind or make you feel part of the crowd. Sometimes, staying sober means challenging those beliefs and recognising that the promise of relief doesn't always match the reality.

This conversation explores why acceptance matters, how understanding cravings can help protect your recovery, and why trying to prove you can drink normally can lead you back to the same painful place.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/yc59ftv7

Spotify - https://spoti.fi/3Z0Pr1r

Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Molly

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/mollymcbridecomedy

Tik Tok - https://www.tiktok.com/@molly.mole1

Follow Oliver

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#AlcoholAddiction

#AlcoholRecovery

#AddictionRecovery

Paul Sculfor is widely regarded as Britain's first male supermodel. Behind the fame, success and glamorous lifestyle, he struggled with addiction for years. Now more than 22 years sober, Paul opens up about cocaine addiction, alcohol, anxiety, shame, denial and the moment he finally asked for help.

From the outside, Paul had a life many people dream of. His international modelling career brought success, financial independence and incredible opportunities. Yet beneath the surface, he battled insecurity, anxiety and low self-worth. Alcohol and drugs initially helped him feel accepted, but his relationship with substances became increasingly destructive.

Paul describes the moment he discovered he had spent the money he had worked so hard to earn. Despite promising himself he was finished with cocaine, he found himself using again just days later. He recalls the frightening events that followed, the exhaustion that brought him to his knees and the moment he finally asked for help.

We explore the anxiety and self-consciousness Paul experienced growing up, his desire to fit in and how a painful experience early in his modelling career affected his confidence and sense of safety. He explains how he tried to hide that pain behind outward success.

Paul also discusses functioning addiction, how someone can appear successful while struggling behind closed doors, and why fame and money couldn't resolve his unhappiness.

He speaks candidly about rehab, the shame he carried and the moment he seriously considered ending his life. A conversation with a friend helped him see another possibility. Paul explains how recovery changed his life and how returning to acting helped him rebuild his confidence.

More than two decades into recovery, Paul reflects on the role of the 12-step programme, why he continues attending meetings and how recovery can help us change destructive thought patterns. He explains how the same obsessive thinking that once caused suffering can become a positive force.

Today, Paul helps others affected by addiction through the Stride Foundation and hosts This Is Powerful, exploring mindset, mental health and recovery.

Paul's story reminds us that outward success doesn't tell the whole story, and recovery can offer far more than simply putting down drugs and alcohol. It can help us build a life that feels meaningful from the inside.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK. Find support here:

https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

SPONSOR: RECOVERY CARTEL

A clothing brand celebrating recovery.

Website: https://www.therecoverycartel.co.uk

SUPPORT SCHOOL OF ROCK BOTTOM

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CHAPTERS

0:00 Trailer & Intro

4:00 A rock bottom moment

12:00 Anxiety, hyperactivity & low self-esteem

16:30 Early drinking

19:00 Childhood & early career

24:30 Coke and alcohol at 11am

28:00 When did addiction start?

30:45 Early modelling career & anxiety

35:00 Coming out of denial

37:00 Mountain tops can be painful too

38:30 Not wanting to live

41:00 Being able to look the world in the eye

44:00 How Paul stays sober

50:45 Cross addiction?

FOLLOW PAUL SCULFOR

Instagram: https://instagram.com/paulsculfor

This Is Powerful: https://www.instagram.com/this_ispowerful

Stride Foundation: https://www.instagram.com/stride.foundation

FOLLOW OLIVER MASON

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WATCH OR LISTEN TO THE PODCAST

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#PaulSculfor

#AddictionRecovery

#Sobriety

What if the person you're angry with isn't the problem? What if your anger is exposing something you've spent your entire life trying to hide?

In recovery, I discovered something deeply uncomfortable: beneath my anger was often a fear that I wasn't good enough, that people didn't love me, or that I didn't matter. I wanted to control everyone around me because, deep down, I couldn't bear feeling out of control myself.

Then, in early recovery, a friend failed to call me back. I was furious. I made it personal. I convinced myself he didn't care about me.

But when I finally discovered what he was going through, I felt physically sick.

Because his world was falling apart, and somehow, I'd made it all about me.

In this episode of School of Rock Bottom Thought Series, Oliver Mason explores the hidden connection between anger, addiction, ego, fear and self-esteem... and why the need to control other people can leave us trapped in our own suffering.

What if the thing that's making you angry has absolutely nothing to do with you?

And what if letting go of that need to control everything could be the very thing that sets you free?

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/bdc5dvfc

Spotify - https://spoti.fi/3Z0Pr1r

Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Oliver

Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv

Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9

LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7

Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

#AddictionRecovery

#AngerManagement

#MentalHealth

Adam Lancashire survived a cardiac arrest after decades of alcohol and cocaine addiction. In May 2024, his heart stopped for 26 minutes. After weeks in intensive care, he woke up with hypoxic brain damage and faced the challenge of rebuilding his life. He had to relearn basic skills, including how to walk and talk, confront the consequences of his addiction and find a way forward without drugs or alcohol.

Now more than two years sober, Adam joins me to share his extraordinary story for the first time, covering addiction, survival, recovery, family breakdown and learning to live again.

What happens when addiction takes you to the edge of death? And how do you rebuild your life when you wake up to discover that even the simplest everyday tasks have become a challenge?

Adam's story is one of survival, resilience and a second chance. His childhood was marked by instability, and he discovered drugs at a young age. By 15, he was using cocaine.

What began as a way to escape and feel more confident developed into years of alcohol and drug use, with serious consequences for his relationships, family life and wellbeing.

Despite periods of apparent success, Adam struggled with addiction behind the scenes. Relationships broke down, family connections suffered, and the cycle of drinking and cocaine use became increasingly difficult to escape.

Then, in May 2024, everything changed. After playing football, Adam collapsed on his way back to the station. He suffered a cardiac arrest and was resuscitated before being taken to hospital. After weeks in intensive care, he woke up with hypoxic brain damage.

Surviving the cardiac arrest was only the beginning. Adam faced the enormous challenge of rebuilding his physical and cognitive abilities, learning to walk, speak, eat and carry out everyday tasks again. Alongside his rehabilitation, he also had to confront the addiction and personal struggles that had shaped so much of his life.

Adam explains how he found his way into recovery through Alcoholics Anonymous, the importance of friendship and fellowship, and how helping others gave him a renewed sense of purpose. He speaks honestly about his approach to the 12-step programme and why he believes recovery does not look the same for everyone.

Adam also opens up about guilt, shame and the pain of family relationships affected by addiction, including his estrangement from his son. He reflects on the temptation to romanticise the past, even when that past caused so much damage, and the difficult process of learning to forgive himself.

His experience of recovering from brain damage while maintaining his sobriety brings another dimension to the conversation. Adam describes the frustration of losing abilities he once took for granted.

Adam's shows that recovery does not have to follow rigid rules or a single prescribed path, and that rebuilding a life can begin even after the most devastating setbacks.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK, support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Sponsor -

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Support us -

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

3:20 A rock bottom moment

8:25 Do you need a dramatic rock bottom?

10:35 The Invisible Line!

11:35 Money, travel and a morphine drop

16:35 Drinking leads to coke

19:35 Getting high on your own supply

22:50 Stealing & affairs

27:35 Estranged from family and giving up on yourself

31:05 Addiction progresses

35:50 A moment in The ICU

37:35 The recovery starts

41:05 Cravings return

42:20 Struggling with higher power in AA

44:05 Friendships in recovery

46:50 Can you do fellowship your way?

Follow Adam

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/adamcamehome

https://www.instagram.com/adam_lancashire

Follow Oliver

https://linktr.ee/olivermason

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Spotify - https://tinyurl.com/y9ay6kmk

Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3

#CocaineAddiction #AddictionRecovery #Sobriety

Fear can make recovery feel impossible. Addiction tells you that you are going to lose everything you love, or that you will never get the life you want. But what if those thoughts are not predictions, but lies? In this School of Rock Bottom Thought Series, Oliver Mason explores fear, catastrophising, relapse, gratitude, faith and the power of living in the present moment. Drawing on my own recovery and years of working with people in addiction treatment, I asks a simple but powerful question: what if you stopped putting your faith in the fear and started putting your faith in recovery?

Addiction has a remarkable ability to hijack our thinking. The moment we become grateful for our relationships, our work, our health or our lives, fear can turn those very things into reasons to worry. What if I lose this? What if everything goes wrong? What if I never get what I want? Suddenly, the future becomes a place of catastrophe, and alcohol or drugs can begin to look like an escape from a future that exists only in our imagination.

I explor why living in the day can be such a powerful principle in recovery. We cannot know exactly what is going to happen tomorrow, but addiction can convince us that we do. It gives us the worst possible outcome and presents it as though it is inevitable. Learning to recognise that process can create space between the fear and the decision to pick up a drink or drug.

I also explores the relationship between fear and self-centred thinking, and why helping another person can be such a powerful way of getting out of our own heads. From working with people in rehab to simply being there for somebody else, recovery can shift our attention away from the relentless internal noise of what I calls the “Oli show”.

For people who find the spiritual language of recovery difficult, I offer another way of looking at faith. You do not necessarily have to believe in God or follow a particular religion to have faith. You can put your faith in recovery itself. Every day without drugs or alcohol becomes another piece of evidence that recovery works. Even when life becomes difficult, the overall trajectory can still be moving forward.

This thought is ultimately about learning to trust the process. A difficult day does not mean recovery has failed. A closed door does not necessarily mean the end of the road. Sometimes the path simply changes. Sometimes the thing you feared losing makes way for something you could never have imagined finding.

If you are in recovery, struggling with fear, worried about relapse, questioning your future or finding it difficult to trust that things can get better, this is a reminder to stay in the day, reach out, help somebody else and give tomorrow the opportunity to surprise you.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/bdc5dvfc

Spotify - https://spoti.fi/3Z0Pr1r

Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Oliver

Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv

Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9

LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7

Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

#AddictionRecovery

#RelapsePrevention

#RecoveryIsPossible

What does alcoholism look like when nobody knows you have a problem? Tamsin spent nearly a decade drinking alone while building a successful career as a journalist, convinced that because she hadn't been arrested, lost her job or ended up in hospital, she couldn't be an alcoholic. She got sober in 2022, built a life in recovery, and then relapsed for one night in 2025 after putting her sobriety second.

In this conversation, Tamsin opens up about hidden alcoholism, denial, addiction, relapse, shame, self-worth and why you don't need to hit rock bottom before asking for help.

Tamsin describes what she calls being a "boring alcoholic": no dramatic arrests, car crashes or headline-making consequences, but a private addiction that increasingly controlled her life. She explains how alcohol became her way of managing anxiety, sleeping, socialising and feeling confident, while underneath it all she was struggling with self-worth.

We talk about the moment she realised something wasn't right, sitting on a bus waiting for a shop to open so she could buy wine after finishing a night shift.

Tamsin speaks candidly about her relapse in 2025 after almost three years sober. She explains what she means by "putting recovery second", how the same negative thoughts and patterns returned after one drink, and why having a recovery network around her helped her stop a one-night relapse from becoming something much bigger.

We discuss relapse, the shame that can follow it, and the danger of believing that you've wasted your previous sobriety. Tamsin shares what it was like returning to recovery spaces after relapsing and how the tools she had built over nearly three years were still there when she needed them.

We also explore relationships in recovery, including what it was like for Tamsin's partner to see her drunk for the first time. We talk about alcohol-free homes, boundaries and why protecting your recovery sometimes has to come before everything else.

Another part of the conversation is alcohol delivery apps and how they can remove the barriers between craving and access. Tamsin explains how she secretly used delivery services during active addiction, while Oliver shares his experience of rapid alcohol delivery.

Tamsin's message to anyone questioning their relationship with alcohol is simple: you do not need to call yourself an alcoholic, have a dramatic story or wait for your life to fall apart before you deserve help. If your drinking is making your life more negative, or you don't know what will happen once you take that first drink, that may be enough to start asking questions.

Tamsin shares her experience openly online, helping people who don't recognise themselves in the stereotypical image of addiction. She has founded a sober and sober-curious book club, is an advisory director of a sober CIC, raises money for alcohol harm charities.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK, support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Sponsor -

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Support us -

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

3:00 I didn't have a "rock bottom" moment!

7:00 What is rock bottom?

9:30 Hidden addiction is more dangerous?

12:15 Smashing denial

16:15 Hanxiety, sleep and migraines

18:00 Alcohol, relationships and control

19:45 I never felt "part of"

23:30 What is an alcoholic?

26:30 Putting your recovery second

30:30 Can you relapse for 1 day?!

34:15 How relapse effects your partner

38:30 Does your partner drink?

42:30 Picking back up tools during a relapse

46:00 Alcohol doesn't work anymore!

48:00 Alcohol delivery apps

56:00 Everyone deserves help

Follow Tamsin

Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@soberjourno

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/tamsinsoberjourno

Follow Oliver

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#Alcoholism

#AddictionRecovery

#Sobriety

What if the thought “Life is shit. What’s the point?” isn’t the truth, but simply a thought? In this next School of Rock Bottom Thought Series, Oliver Mason explores self-pity, addiction, recovery, intrusive thoughts, anxiety and the search for purpose. I share how I learned to stop identifying with every thought my brain produced, challenge the stories that kept me trapped, and recognise the evidence that recovery was actually changing my life. From standing on a train platform with an intrusive thought to discovering the unexpected power of a gratitude list, this is a conversation about finding meaning when your mind is telling you there is none.

In active addiction, “Life is shit. What’s the point?” can feel less like a passing thought and more like an undeniable fact. I explain how that same thought can still appear in recovery, even when I am completely clean and sober. The difference is what happens next.

Rather than seeing myself as my thoughts, I describe seeing myself as the awareness of those thoughts. That small gap between having a thought and reacting to it became a game changer. I explore how this perspective helped me challenge anxiety, rumination and the tendency to turn one frightening thought into an entire story about myself.

I also share a powerful example of experiencing an intrusive thought on a train platform and immediately spiralling into anxiety and self-diagnosis. The thought itself wasn't necessarily the problem. My reaction to it was. For me, recovery has increasingly been about recognising that while I may not have complete control over what enters my mind, I can develop far more choice over how I respond.

The conversation then moves into one of the most important questions in recovery: what gives your life a point?

I remember calling a mentor during early recovery and saying, “Life is shit. What’s the point?” Instead of joining me in the self-pity, my mentor challenged me to find something on my gratitude list that proved the thought wasn't true.

What I discovered was surprisingly simple. I had spent time with my godson and watched a film. But within those ordinary moments was something much bigger: I was someone's godfather. I had a young person in my life who looked up to me. Suddenly, my life had purpose.

That experience changed the way I viewed gratitude. What had once felt like meaningless box-ticking became evidence that my life was changing. The things on my gratitude list were things that were possible because I was sober.

I also explore the idea that recovery isn't simply about removing alcohol or drugs. The energy, drive and intensity that once went into addiction doesn't necessarily disappear. It can be redirected towards purpose, creativity, relationships, service and building a completely different life.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/bdc5dvfc

Spotify - https://spoti.fi/3Z0Pr1r

Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Oliver

Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv

Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9

LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7

Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

#AddictionRecovery

#RelapsePrevention

#RecoveryIsPossible

Rick Keane was known as the fixer in Ibiza. If you needed a comedy act booked for Ibiza Rocks, a luxury yacht arranged or almost anything else sorted, Rick was the man who could make it happen. But behind the scenes, his life was slowly falling apart. Ketamine addiction, criminality, secrecy and denial eventually led him into residential rehab — twice.

After six months in treatment, a period of recovery and a five month relapse, Rick had to start again. Now approaching 18 months in recovery, he's a barber, works in a homeless project and gives back at the rehab that helped save his life.

Rick opens up about the reality of ketamine addiction and what life looked like when he could no longer control his use. He talks honestly about secrecy, lies, control, ego and losing control through drugs.

Rick explains how ketamine initially gave him an escape from his thoughts and relief from emotional pain. We explore how his use progressed, the culture surrounding ketamine in Ibiza, tolerance, K-holes and why what initially felt like freedom became another form of captivity.

Rick describes the physical consequences of ketamine, including severe ketamine cramps, bladder problems and a large hole in his nose. We discuss ketamine-induced bladder damage, why symptoms can develop quickly for some people and how people can continue taking the drug even after being warned about potentially permanent consequences.

We go back to Rick's childhood and explore control, confrontation, people pleasing, seeking excitement, criminality, abandonment and the need for validation. We discuss why recovery isn't simply about stopping the substance — it's also about understanding the person underneath the addiction.

Rick talks about his six months in residential treatment, initially entering rehab without really wanting recovery, and the moment something began to change. He explains how treatment helped him discover a different life, retrain as a barber and find purpose through helping others.

We also talk about publicly funded drug and alcohol treatment in the UK, asking for help, residential treatment and aftercare, and why you don't necessarily have to feel completely ready before entering treatment.

Rick is incredibly honest about relapse. He explains how a relationship became part of a much bigger build-up, why he initially wanted to blame somebody else, and what he discovered when he looked honestly at the months leading up to his relapse.

Rick shares what the 12-step programme has given him, including the importance of Step Five, honesty, accountability and being able to speak openly about the things that previously crippled his life.

Rick's story shows that recovery isn't about becoming perfect. It's about understanding yourself, taking responsibility and continuing to move forward when things don't go according to plan.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK, support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Sponsor - www.gavinsisters.co.uk and promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Support us:

PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

3:00 A rock bottom moment

5:30 Rock bottoms in recovery?

7:30 HARD life lessons in treatment centre

10:30 Excitement & control

12:15 Stealing

14:00 Rick's life is a contradiction

16:00 Sobriety leads to clarity

18:00 Getting addicted to ketamine

22:30 The consequences of ketamine

28:20 Why is ketamine use on the rise?

31:30 How addiction is progressive

33:15 The K Hole stopped

34:15 Doing a geographical

36:15 NHS alcohol and drug treatment

40:00 Emotions in early recovery

45:15 Dating in early recovery

48:16 Coming back from relapse

51:00 Finding purpose and a new direction

53:15 Step 5 & relapse

Follow Rick

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/rick_keane27

Follow Oliver - https://linktr.ee/olivermason

YouTube -https://tinyurl.com/3u2aftj6

Spotify - https://tinyurl.com/ycxywcby

Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3

#KetamineAddiction #AddictionRecovery #Recovery

What happens when the attention you once craved becomes the very thing that destroys you? In this next thought, I revisit a conversation with Georgina Baillie as she opens up about cocaine addiction, sex work, eating disorders, validation, and the desperate search for love and self-worth that took her from feeling invisible to living a life that spiralled completely out of control.

At 19, male attention felt like power. After years of feeling invisible, suddenly men wanted her, bought her things and made her feel important. But underneath that newfound confidence was an eating disorder, a growing dependence on drugs and what Georgina now describes as an addiction to validation and attention.

What began as a search for acceptance eventually became something far darker. Georgina describes how her cocaine addiction led her into sex work because she needed drugs. At the height of her addiction, she would even bypass the money and ask for cocaine instead.

Her story raises difficult questions about the relationship between addiction, sex, validation and self-worth. What happens when we become dependent on other people to tell us that we matter? And how do we rebuild a sense of identity when the things we once believed gave us value begin to disappear?

Georgina also takes us to her first true rock bottom in 2017, when she was 31 and was assaulted by a pimp, leaving burst blood vessels across her face. But even that moment was part of a much longer journey towards understanding just how unwell she had become.

Now approaching 40, she reflects on how dramatically her understanding of herself has changed. The looks, attention and status that once seemed like everything have become almost irrelevant compared with the things she now considers genuinely important.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/y9htydau

Spotify - https://tinyurl.com/4a6353rp

Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Georgina

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/georgielondonart

Follow Oliver

Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv

Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9

LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7

Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

#Addiction #MentalHealth #Recovery

Ruth Harris used to drink vodka for breakfast. She survived years of addiction, repeated attempts to get clean and sober, domestic violence and some of the darkest moments of her life. Eight years later, she is a recovering addict, entrepreneur and TEDx speaker who has dedicated her life to challenging the stigma around addiction and helping people understand recovery. Ruth takes us inside her lowest moments that finally changed everything: waking up surrounded by drug paraphernalia, completely alone, consumed by shame and feeling that she would rather not be here than continue living that way.

Ruth explains why a rock bottom moment was not necessarily the most catastrophic thing that happened to her, but the moment she experienced what she describes as spiritual bankruptcy. She had tried recovery before. She had stopped and started, made promises and relapsed. This time, something finally shifted.

We go back to Ruth’s childhood to understand what was happening underneath the addiction long before she picked up a drink or a drug. She describes feeling uncomfortable in her own skin, feeling like an alien around other people and becoming dependent on validation, intense relationships and being liked. She also reveals how controlling food became another way of trying to manage feelings she didn't know how to process.

Ruth speaks candidly about her relationship with alcohol, cocaine, crack, opiates and prescription drugs, and explains why she never really had a single drug of choice. We explore what substances initially gave her: confidence, connection, freedom from fear, guilt and shame, and the feeling that she had finally found somewhere she belonged. We then examine how that search for connection ultimately became isolation.

We discuss relapse in detail, including why Ruth repeatedly believed she could eventually drink normally and how she grieved alcohol and drugs almost like losing a relationship. She explains the moment she realised the substance itself wasn't the entire problem and that she had to confront her thinking, identity and behaviour.

Ruth also opens up about living with ADHD and bipolar disorder alongside addiction. She describes a mind that felt like a washing machine, constantly telling her she wasn't good enough. We explore self-medication, neurodiversity and the complicated relationship between ADHD, mental health and addiction.

Ruth explains why isolation was so destructive for her and why community became such a powerful part of her recovery. She talks openly about the role the 12 Steps, meetings, spirituality, prayer, meditation and other people played in helping her rebuild her life.

Then comes the plot twist: resilience and the unexpected strengths that can emerge from addiction and recovery. Ruth believes the determination, creativity, obsession and ability to solve problems that once fuelled her addiction can be redirected into something extraordinary in recovery.

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Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

2:30 A rock bottom moment

5:20 Is there a spiritual rock bottom?

9:05 Codependency

11:50 The relationship of drugs & food

14:35 Alcohol, coke and crack

17:30 When does relapse start?

18:10 Addiction, bipolar & ADHD

27:00 Relapse

29:20 Thinking was the problem

31:30 Looking for LOVE

32:35 Why the 12 steps helped Ruth

36:50 Becoming nothing to become everything

38:20 Letting go

43:10 Humility & recovery

45:05 Transforming the energy of addiction

48:50 Hardships shape resilience

53:20 Hold your head high!

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Self-pity can keep addiction alive long after the drink or drug has stopped. In this next thought, Oliver Mason explores the connection between self-pity, addiction, relapse, shame and self-forgiveness, and why the way we speak to ourselves can become another form of self-harm. If you’re struggling with addiction, early recovery, shame or the belief that you don’t deserve happiness, this conversation may challenge the way you see yourself.
Oliver breaks down what self-pity actually means in the context of addiction and recovery. He shares his own experience of relentlessly attacking himself, believing he was a terrible person and becoming trapped in a cycle where shame and self-pity fed directly back into drinking and relapse.
Oliver explores three powerful lies that addiction can make us believe, beginning with the idea that we are somehow too damaged, too shameful or too undeserving to recover. He explains why the consequences of addiction are not evidence that someone is a bad person, but can instead be evidence of the powerlessness and loss of control that addiction creates.
He also examines why understanding addiction matters when it comes to self-forgiveness, and why connection with other people in recovery can be so important. Sometimes hearing someone else tell their story and responding with compassion allows us to recognise something we struggle to give ourselves: forgiveness.
This episode also explores the difficult relationship between shame, self-pity and relapse, including the uncomfortable possibility that holding onto guilt can sometimes become an unconscious insurance policy for future substance use.
If you are in recovery from alcohol addiction, drug addiction or another compulsive behaviour, or you’re struggling to move beyond the things you did while in active addiction, this is a conversation about self-compassion, accountability, forgiveness and learning to believe that recovery is something you deserve too.
Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE
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About the “THOUGHT” series -
Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.
Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e
Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

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#AddictionRecovery
#RelapsePrevention
#RecoveryIsPossible

Aish went from drinking 2–3 glasses of wine a week to more than 400 units of alcohol a week. She became physically dependent on alcohol, experienced severe withdrawal and alcohol-induced psychosis, got sober, stayed sober for a year, and then relapsed. Now sober since November 2025 and in early recovery, Aish joins me to tell the story of how her drinking spiralled, what finally brought her home from Canada, why she relapsed, and what recovery looks like this time.

Aish has always struggled to find her place in the world. She began drinking to fit in after a misdiagnosis at 17, and what started as social drinking during years of summers abroad slowly became something far more hidden — and far more severe.

At its worst, Aish became physically dependent on alcohol and experienced severe withdrawal, including vomiting, blackouts, confusion and episodes where reality itself became unstable.

A move to Canada was meant to change everything. It didn't.

By September 2024, Aish describes reaching complete exhaustion — mentally, physically and emotionally — sick and tired of being sick and tired. She flew home, got sober and, a year later, relapsed.

Aish takes us inside the reality of severe alcohol addiction and explains how something that initially helped her feel accepted and normal eventually became something she couldn't function without.

She recalls one of the darkest moments of her addiction: sitting on the floor of an airport toilet in Canada, drinking whiskey while families around her prepared to go on holiday. She was physically unwell, struggling to walk and drinking simply to prevent withdrawal so she could make the journey home.

Aish also opens up about the periods when alcohol affected her perception of reality, including hallucinations and alcohol-induced psychosis. She explains how frightening it became when she could no longer trust what she was seeing and hearing.

The conversation explores what may have been underneath her addiction, including a late diagnosis of ADHD and autism, an ongoing OCD assessment, trauma, masking, intrusive thoughts and years of feeling different and misunderstood.

She talks about lockdown and becoming consumed by intrusive thoughts about death, leading to months of isolation and bad mental health.

Aish is also incredibly honest about relapse. After a year sober, she returned to drinking despite knowing where alcohol had taken her before. She explains why getting sober for other people wasn't enough, what happened when she relapsed and how subsequent withdrawal became even more frightening.

Oliver and Aish discuss the physical and emotional consequences of addiction, the guilt and shame that can follow it, and the difficult work that begins once the drinking stops.

Now in early recovery, Aish is learning to stop masking, confront the parts of her past she previously avoided and discover who she is underneath addiction.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

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Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

4:05 A rock bottom moment

6:05 Sleeping tablets & Food

8:05 Feeling "different"

10:35 ADHD & socialising

12:45 Misdiagnosed with bipolar

14:35 Being sectioned

16:05 Masking

17:20 Lockdown accelerates drinking

21:05 OCD

24:05 Alcohol tolerance & 400 units a week

28:20 Suicidal thoughts

29:45 Alcohol psychosis

32:35 Alcohol withdrawal

34:45 Relapse

36:05 The kindling effect

38:05 Wet Brain

40:35 You have to WANT to get sober

41:20 Aish's recovery

43:50 Guilt, shame and vulnerability

48:05 Forgiving yourself

54:20 The joys of sobriety!

56:05 Try everything to get sober!

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#AlcoholAddiction

#Recovery

#Sobriety

What happens to relationships when you enter recovery? Can love help someone recover, or does recovery have to come first?

In this next quick thought, I revisit a conversation with Joe Sealey as we reflect on one of the biggest questions people ask in early recovery: should you stay single, or can a relationship support lasting sobriety? We explore the reality of addiction, codependency, recovery, and why keeping life simple in those first few months can make all the difference. If you're struggling with cocaine, alcohol, or any form of addiction, or you're supporting someone you love, this conversation offers an honest, compassionate perspective on what recovery really looks like.

It's important to say that this conversation is not suggesting that people already in healthy, supportive relationships should end them. A loving, stable relationship can be one of the greatest sources of strength in recovery. The discussion is about avoiding unnecessary complications in early recovery and recognising when a new relationship might become a distraction from the work of getting well.

Recovery isn't just about stopping drugs or alcohol. It's about rebuilding a life from the ground up. We discuss why so many people in early recovery search for something new to fill the void, whether that's a relationship, a business, a pet, or another obsession, and why that instinct can sometimes become another distraction from the real work.

We also explore the role relationships play in long-term recovery. Is it better to be with someone who understands addiction firsthand, or can a partner outside the recovery world provide the stability and normality that's often missing? It's a deeply honest conversation about love, boundaries, peace at home, and why the healthiest relationships don't always revolve around addiction at all. Of course, many couples who are both in recovery can have healthy relationships too!

The episode also touches on the difficult reality faced by partners of people in active addiction. What should you do when someone is coming down from a binge? When is it time to step back? And how do you support someone without losing yourself in the process?

Finally, we discuss one of the most emotional questions in recovery: can another person save your life? We explore gratitude, dependence, personal responsibility, and why, although love can be a powerful catalyst for change, lasting recovery ultimately has to come from within.

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About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Support the podcast -

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#CocaineAddiction

#JoeSealey

#AddictionRecovery

Anthony Kavanagh was living the dream. Signed to Virgin Records at just 18 years old, he went on to achieve eight Top 40 hits, two Top 10 singles, and won Smash Hits Best Male Artist — becoming the pop star he had written down as a teenager that he wanted to become.

But behind the fame, success and recognition was a hidden battle with addiction, alcoholism, identity, loneliness and the desperate search for validation. Anthony believed success would finally make him feel accepted, but the validation he spent years chasing never filled the emptiness underneath.

Anthony was also carrying a secret struggle with his sexual identity and the pressure of hiding parts of himself while living in the public eye.

By his early 20s, after moving to Hollywood in pursuit of bigger success and the bright lights, Anthony began to realise he was in denial about his addictions.

What followed was a devastating descent from pop stardom into addiction, homelessness and complete breakdown. He went from performing in front of thousands of people to living without a home, occasionally being recognised as “that singer” while privately experiencing total collapse.

At his lowest, Anthony’s addiction progressed into a life controlled by alcohol and drugs — morning drinking just to function, hiding alcohol in coffee cups and reaching a point where drinking was no longer a choice but a compulsion, even when his body was rejecting it.

He experienced multiple rehab attempts, relapse and devastating losses while carrying deeper emotional wounds beneath the addiction — the death of his father, his sister’s illness and death, and a lifelong feeling of loneliness that he traces back to childhood.

His memoir Pop Scars documents the full journey from pop success to rock bottom, without excuses or victim mentality. It is a brutally honest account of fame, addiction, shame and identity that is at times as funny as it is heartbreaking, earning rave reviews from readers, including praise from Marian Keyes and The Guardian.

Now four years sober, Anthony Kavanagh speaks openly about alcoholism, addiction recovery, mental health, relapse and the daily work required to rebuild a life.

This is a conversation about what happens when the person the world sees is completely different from the person suffering behind closed doors — and how hope can still be found after losing everything.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

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Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

4:00 A rock bottom moment

7:30 Escape, dream dreaming & loneliness

10:20 Using fame to fix the hole in the soul

14:40 Fame wasn't enough tuned to drugs

17:30 Coming out of denial

18:40 Addiction progresses slowly

20:10 Being smashed on TV

21:40 Cocaine

24:30 Coming out as gay

28:10 I just wanted to drink normally!

30:40 Relapse

31:30 Consequences & chaos

33:10 Fame and shame

36:40 Wanting to be loved

39:50 Not wanting to stop drinking

41:30 Recovery sayings made me angry

43:10 Connection and spirituality

44:55 Alcoholic obsession

49:10 Staying sober

50:30 There's always hope

Follow Antony

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#Addiction #Recovery #Sobriety

What if the biggest breakthrough in recovery isn't stopping drinking, but changing who you believe you are?

In this next thought, I revisit a conversation with Nigel Jones and the mindset shift that finally set him free after years of failed attempts to quit alcohol. If you've ever promised yourself "this is the last time" only to relapse days later, this conversation could completely change the way you think about addiction, recovery and lasting change. This isn't about willpower. It's about identity.

I share the moment my thinking transformed from seeing myself as a victim of alcoholism to becoming the hero of my own story. Inspired by the Hero's Journey, Nigel explain why recovery begins long before you put down the drink, and how changing your identity can make sobriety feel possible instead of impossible.

We also explore the powerful link between intention, beliefs, values and behaviour, and why your destiny is shaped long before your actions become habits. Nigel explains why he chose to call himself a non-drinker from day one, rather than waiting to "earn" that identity after weeks or months of sobriety.

If you're struggling with alcohol addiction, alcohol use disorder (AUD), repeated relapses, or you're supporting someone who is, this episode offers a fresh perspective that could help you build long-term recovery.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/msrrwcn6

Spotify - https://tinyurl.com/y8kmhm62

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About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Support the podcast -

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

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Follow Nigel

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Website -https://www.9kmby9am.com

Nigel's book - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0DLPH36R3/

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#Sobriety

#AlcoholFree

#SoberCurious

What if addiction isn't the problem, but the solution to pain you never knew you were carrying?

Anita Chellamah looked like she had everything. She appeared on Top of the Pops with Legs & Co, fronted and co-wrote The Cherry Bombz, supported Poison on tour in America, performed at the legendary CBGB in New York and on the Reading Festival Main Stage, was a member of Toto Coelo, who reached No. 6 in the UK charts and No. 4 in Australia, and became one of the first presenters on Sky Television and one of its first presenters of colour, hosting her own shows and performing Sky's 5th Anniversary song.

From the outside, it looked like success in every direction. Behind the scenes, however, she was quietly battling addiction. At just 19, while performing in the West End production of Bubbling Brown Sugar, she was prescribed amphetamines by a private doctor who was later struck off. By her late twenties, nights began with champagne, continued with cocaine and ended with Night Nurse. At 29, she stopped. She hasn't had a drink or a drug since.

Today, Anita is a trauma, addiction and DBT therapist with nearly four decades of sobriety. Qualified since 1998, she works in private practice, receiving referrals and working with organisations including the Priory, Steps Together and Castle Craig, specialising in addiction, trauma and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) with individuals, couples, families and groups. Anita explains why rock bottom rarely looks like the movies, why childhood trauma, shame and emotional pain so often drive addiction, and why recovery is about far more than simply putting down the drink or the drug.

We explore the hidden links between trauma, ADHD, binge drinking, cocaine addiction, alcoholism, codependency, self-worth, mental health, emotional regulation and long-term recovery. Anita shares how recovery transformed not only her relationship with alcohol and drugs, but also the way she understands herself, her emotions and the world around her.

The conversation also tackles some of the biggest debates in recovery today, including trauma therapy, 12-step fellowships, medication in recovery, antidepressants, ADHD medication, relapse prevention, addictive personality and why there is no single path that works for everyone. Nearly 40 years sober, Anita's humility, honesty and wisdom offer hope to anyone wondering whether lasting recovery from addiction and alcoholism is really possible.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

2:55 A rock bottom moment

5:25 Binge drinking & progression

9:25 Childhood

12:45 ADHD and intrusive thoughts

14:30 Using performing arts as medicine

17:25 Access vs genetics

18:45 Dealing with denial

20:15 Recovery in 1988

25:35 Do all addicts have trauma?

30:35 We are all different

33:35 How therapy helped Anita

38:25 WE ARE NOT DOCTORS!

43:50 Still an addict after 38 years?

48:20 Humility & labels

51:35 Addictive personality & escape?

57:20 Boundaries

Follow Anita

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#Addiction #Recovery #Sobriety

What does it really mean to call yourself an alcoholic? Why is that word still so difficult to say out loud? In this next quick thought, I revist a conversation with Mary-Kate Harrington as we explore whether embracing the word "alcoholic" can actually reduce shame, break denial and help normalise conversations around addiction and recovery. We discuss stigma, identity, sobriety and why the language we use around alcohol addiction matters more than ever.

For many people, the word "alcoholic" still conjures outdated stereotypes of what addiction looks like. But alcoholism doesn't discriminate. It affects people from every walk of life, regardless of age, profession or background.

In this honest conversation, we talk about the freedom that can come from naming our struggles, why shame loses its power when we speak openly and whether moving away from words like "alcoholic" could unintentionally reinforce stigma. We also discuss sobriety, recovery, dating while sober, social situations and why open conversations about addiction may help younger generations recognise that they are not alone.

This episode isn't about telling people what label they should use. If the word alcoholic is not for you that is totally fine. It's about exploring identity, honesty and the importance of finding language that supports recovery while keeping difficult conversations visible.

A reminder that everyone is free to use the language that best safeguards and empowers their recovery.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/454m93u3

Spotify - https://tinyurl.com/mw5btxfc

Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow MK

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#AlcoholRecovery

#GenZSobriety

#SoberCurious

"I was smuggling drugs inside my body. I was passing out most nights. I hated my life."

Eight years ago, Tash Peacock was a mum of two battling alcohol, cocaine and speed addiction. She was depressed, anxious, isolated and trapped in a cycle she couldn't escape. Addiction had taken her further than she ever imagined, leading her to take huge risks just to keep going. Then one morning, after a three-day binge, she found her two-year-old daughter playing in the same room where drugs had been taken just hours before.

That moment cut through the denial and planted a seed.

Tash opens up about the reality of addiction, relapse and recovery. We talk about getting drunk for the first time at 13 and ending up in hospital, being arrested as a teenager, using amphetamine-based slimming tablets, seeking chaos and excitement, and why she believes undiagnosed ADHD played a huge role in her addiction.

We also explore why some people can have one drink and stop while others can't, whether addiction is a choice, why recovery can feel like grief, and why the life she once thought would be boring became the best thing that ever happened to her.

This isn't just a conversation about addiction. It's a conversation about self-hatred, identity, hope and what happens when you finally decide you don't want to live like this anymore.

Tash talks about sobriety with a joy that is genuinely infectious. You'll leave this conversation feeling lighter, more hopeful and with a reminder that even the most chaotic lives can be rebuilt, one decision at a time.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

3:05 A rock bottom moment

10:50 Do you REALLY decide to get sober?

13:05 How Tash smashed her denial

16:45 The moment Tash could no longer ignore the pain

18:25 Are addicts weak?

21:05 Nature vs nurture

23:05 Addiction to slimming tablets

26:45 Love addiction

28:05 Alcohol to coke/speed

31:20 Addiction link to ADHD

36:25 Functioning vs non functioning

38:50 Smuggling drugs inside yourself

42:35 Severe cognitive decline

44:35 How Tash got sober

50:05 The Clear Head Club

Follow Tash

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#addiction

#recovery

#sobriety

If you've ever believed alcohol is what makes nights out, parties or social events enjoyable, this conversation may completely change the way you think about drinking. What if the confidence, laughter and connection you've been giving credit to alcohol were actually there all along? In this next quick thought, I revisit a conversation with William porter and the surprising psychology behind socialising, why alcohol can become a placebo, and how it quietly convinces us we need it to relax. Understanding this one idea could change the way you experience every social occasion.

Many people assume alcohol creates happiness, confidence and connection. But what if those feelings come from something much more natural? We explore the science behind endorphins, why social situations feel rewarding without alcohol, and how drinking can gradually convince us that we need it just to enjoy ourselves.

We discuss why children naturally relax and have fun without alcohol, how regular drinking changes our expectations of social events, and why so many people believe they can't enjoy a party, holiday or night at the pub without a drink. We also talk about learning to feel comfortable again without chemical interference, the role of alcohol-free drinks in recovery, and why every recovery journey is different.

Whether you're sober, sober curious, questioning your relationship with alcohol, or supporting someone who is, this episode offers a fresh perspective on one of the biggest myths surrounding drinking.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/yxkh2eny

Spotify - https://tinyurl.com/bdfj6568

Apple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQ

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

Oliver is an ambassadors for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow William

https://www.alcoholexplained.co

Follow Oliver

Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv

Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9

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Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

#Sobriety

#AlcoholRecovery

#SoberCurious

DJ Fat Tony has spent over four decades at the centre of British nightlife. He has DJed for Madonna, Prince and Elton John. He has played Glastonbury, Ibiza, and everywhere in between. He is one of the most recognisable figures in the global party scene. And for nearly three decades, he was also dying.

By the time he reached his breaking point, he had almost no teeth left, weighed barely seven stone, and believed it was over. In 2007, he went into rehab. Today he is 19 years clean and sober. But this episode is not about that story. It is about what came after.

Tony does not arrive with a polished redemption arc. He arrives with the version most people never tell — the rock bottom that happened six years into sobriety, when the substances were gone but the behaviour was not. Sex addiction. Drama. Ego. Homelessness again. The slow, humiliating realisation that getting clean is only the beginning.

We go back to the beginning too. A Battersea council estate. A family soaked in addiction. A child who learned by age three that being ill got him attention, and built an entire survival strategy around chaos and crisis long before he ever touched a drink or a drug. Tony traces the through-line from that child to the man who, years into recovery, was still running the same patterns — performing in meetings, manipulating sponsors, using recovery itself as the newest addiction.

What unfolds is a masterclass in the difference between sobriety and recovery. Tony breaks down powerlessness and what it actually means once you are no longer using it as an excuse. He talks about the 12 steps with the authority of someone who has both lived them and failed them. He is forensic about amends — why early apologies in recovery are almost always self-serving, why his own father told him to come back when he actually knew what he was apologising for, and why the only amends that count are the ones you live rather than speak.

He also talks about sponsorship with a level of honesty that is rare. Picking sponsors to manipulate. Sponsoring people he was attracted to. The moment he finally got a sponsor who would not let him perform his way through the steps — and how that person changed everything.

Tony’s new book, Recover Me, is the book he had to write after his memoir I Don’t Take Requests told the world a version of the story he had not yet been fully honest about. He talks about recording the audiobook and hearing himself read things he had previously suppressed. The shame versus embarrassment distinction that freed him. The moment he realised the more honest he became, the more free he felt.

This conversation ends not in darkness but in something quieter and more powerful than just being drug free. Tony talks about the pinch-me moments that only become visible when chaos is no longer the baseline. From looking at his dog asleep in the morning to DJing to twenty thousand people and knowing the real success is simply waking up and being glad to be alive.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK, support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Sponsor -

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Support the pod https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

4:10 A rock bottom moment

7:00 Sex addiction

8:30 Attention was my first drug!

11:00 Addicted do drama?!

13:30 Was Tony born an addict?

16:50 Breaking the stigma

20:30 Helping others

23:45 Are war stories important?

26:45 Is Tony powerless?

32:30 Changing meetings

34:15 Anonymous?!

35:50 Recovery and self validation

37:45 Shop around for recovery

40:50 Tony gets really honest

43:50 Guilt vs shame

45:45 Making amends

51:15 Sponsorship

54:15 The 90/10 rule

55:45 Pinch moments & recovery

58:10 Turn anxiety into drive!

Follow Tony

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dj_fattony_

Tony's new book -

https://geni.us/Recover_Me”

Follow Oliver

https://linktr.ee/olivermason

Links

YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/276aa99d

Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3

Are triggers and cravings real, or have we misunderstood what’s actually happening in addiction and recovery?

In this next thought, I revisit a brilliant conversation with Pax as we challenge one of the most commonly used ideas in recovery: that external triggers cause relapse. For many people early in sobriety, it feels obvious. Certain places, people, stress, even cities become labelled as “the problem”. But what if that’s not what’s really going on?

This conversation explores a more uncomfortable idea — that the trigger may not be external at all, but internal. Not the environment, but the interpretation. Not the situation, but the reaction. And if that’s true, it completely changes how we think about relapse, responsibility, and control.

We also go into cravings — what they actually are, when they’re neurological and physical in early recovery, and how they’re often mislabelled later on. At a certain point, is it still accurate to call it a craving, or is something else happening underneath it: obsession, emotional overload, or unresolved internal conflict?

This is a conversation that challenges a lot of common language used in addiction recovery, and asks a simple but uncomfortable question: are we naming the problem correctly — or using the wrong language for what’s actually happening inside us?

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

YouTube - https://bit.ly/42vXUPf

Spotify - https://bit.ly/4aBsmJU

Apple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQ

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

Oliver is an ambassadors for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Pax

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/paxhalai

Follow Oliver

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Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

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Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

#SobrietyStories

#HopeInDarkness

#AddictionRecovery

Sean Willers was homeless as a teenager, served in Afghanistan, became an international DJ playing some of the biggest clubs in the world, and then woke up in a hospital bed with no memory of how he got there. That moment didn’t just end a night out, it ended an entire identity. In this episode of School of Rock Bottom, we explore what happens when success and self-destruction start to overlap, and the point where you’re forced to choose between continuing the cycle or rebuilding everything from scratch.

Sean’s life moves through homelessness, early alcohol use, military service, the fitness industry, and a high-flying DJ career that gradually became dominated by cocaine and alcohol. What begins as escapism turns into dependency, shaped further by a nightlife culture where excess is normalised and boundaries slowly disappear.

He breaks down the pivotal night in 2021 when a set in Nottingham, intended to mark a reset, spiralled into blackout, hospitalisation, and police involvement. That moment became the final breaking point with the music industry and the start of sobriety.

From there, the conversation moves beyond the headline of addiction and into the mechanics of recovery itself. Sean challenges the usefulness of labels, questions whether traditional frameworks like AA work for everyone, and argues that long-term change is built less on willpower and more on structure, identity, and discipline.

They also explore the often overlooked reality of early recovery: the substitution of one compulsion for another, the role of dopamine-driven behaviours, and the slow process of building stability without relying on extremes for regulation.

At its core, this is a conversation about control. Not just stopping drugs and alcohol, but learning how to build a life that no longer requires them.

Sean is now a high-performance life and wellness coach, working with people who look like they’ve got it all together on the outside but know something isn’t right underneath, helping them get in shape, quit drinking, and take back control. He has worked with over 500 clients across 15 countries.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

2:45 A rock bottom moment

6:00 Homeless at 15

8:15 Why Sean isn't a victim

11:00 The gym helps Sean as a teenager

12:40 Joining the army to straighten out

15:30 Was trauma the reason addictions increased?

17:00 DJ'ing and drugs

20:15 Why alcohol and cocaine had to go together

21:30 Why Cocaethylene is dangerous

23:45 Addicted to the coke persona

25:00 Coke leads to heavy porn use

30:00 Cross addiction

32:00 How Sean got clean and sober

35:45 Many paths to the top of them mountain

42:00 Willpower is for weak men!

44:00 Does moderation work?

46:30 Playing the tape forward!

49:45 Why Sean isn't perfect or doing it one day at a time

52:45 Remove yourself from your triggers

Follow Sean

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sean_willerscoaching

Follow Oliver

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Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9

LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7

Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

Please subscribe, follow, like, leave a review and comment!

YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/y3ez4ssu

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Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3

#AddictionRecovery

#SobrietyJourney

#Sober

Anorexia isn’t just about food, weight, or body image. In this next thought clip, I revisit a conversation with Sophie Anderson about the deeper reality behind eating disorders, trauma, control, anxiety, family dynamics, and the hidden emotional pain that so often sits underneath them.

My guest speaks with remarkable honesty about living with anorexia, the dopamine cycle of restriction, the terror around food, and the complicated comfort the illness can create. This is a conversation about survival, coping mechanisms, and what recovery really asks of someone when the illness has become part of how they navigate the world.

We also explore the connection between anorexia and addiction, why eating disorders are often misunderstood, and how social media can influence vulnerability without being the full explanation. There’s a powerful discussion around emotional neglect, safety, codependency, hospitalisation, and the way trauma can quietly shape behaviour long before anyone notices the symptoms. Rather than reducing anorexia to vanity or “control issues”, this episode looks at the complexity behind the condition and why simplistic narratives can stop people from truly understanding it.

If you or someone you love has struggled with anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, addiction, anxiety, or mental health challenges, this conversation offers insight, compassion, and a perspective rarely heard in mainstream discussions around eating disorders.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

YouTube - https://bit.ly/4jbvZdo

Spotify - https://bit.ly/4air4TL

Apple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQ

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

Sophie received support from:

Eating Matters (Norwich), Cruise Bereavement (National) & The Bridge (Bristol).

Oliver is an ambassadors for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Sophie

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sophiee.anderson

Follow Oliver

Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv

Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9

LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7

Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

#AnorexiaRecovery

#MentalHealthAwareness

#EatingDisordersHelp

If you can imagine a life built around music, parties, friendship and a sense of total freedom, you start to understand the world Dan Charles lived in for over a decade. But that world came to a sudden stop in Ibiza in 2018 when a life-threatening medical emergency left him in a coma after a series of critical complications. What followed was not only survival, but a complete rebuilding of identity, purpose and direction.

This is the first time Dan has ever shared his story publicly and his first ever appearance on a podcast.

Today, I speak with Dan Charles, a Manchester-born, London-based creative whose life on the surface looked like an extended celebration of youth culture, nightlife and connection. Beneath that, however, was escalating drug use, denial about addiction, and a pattern of increasingly risky behaviour that would eventually culminate in a near-fatal incident by a swimming pool in Ibiza.

Dan describes the moment he was found unresponsive, the severity of his condition, and the chain of events and people that ultimately saved his life.

What makes this conversation compelling is not just what happened in Ibiza, but the honesty about what led up to it. Dan reflects on a 10-year period of recreational drug use that escalated within the context of club culture and electronic music scenes in Manchester and beyond. He challenges the conventional framing of addiction, explaining that although he never used substances daily, he still experienced repeated negative consequences and patterns of loss of control in specific environments.

The discussion moves beyond the incident itself into the psychological aftermath. Dan speaks candidly about survivor’s guilt, particularly in relation to his family, who received a call while on holiday informing them that he might not survive the night. He also reflects on the complexity of regret, acknowledging deep remorse for the impact on his family while also recognising the formative role those experiences played in shaping who he is today.

A central theme of the conversation is identity reconstruction. Dan explains how early recovery was not initially a conscious decision, but something imposed by circumstance and family intervention. Over time, however, that shifted into a voluntary and internalised commitment to sobriety, driven by changes in lifestyle, physical health, and mental wellbeing practices.

He discusses how structured routines around sleep, exercise, nutrition, sauna, cold exposure, meditation and mindfulness replaced the chaotic rhythm of his previous life, alongside a growing sense of emotional stability and self-awareness.

This is ultimately a story about consequence, survival and the redefinition of identity after a life that could have ended very differently. It raises difficult but important questions about addiction, pleasure, denial, responsibility and whether lasting change comes from punishment or perspective.

Through his platform Second Chance Dan, he speaks openly about his journey — the real challenges, the choices, and what it takes to start over. Dan is drug and alcohol free nearly 8 years!

SPONSOR

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

SUPPORT THE POD

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

2:00 A rock bottom moment

8:00 Raving and hard drugs

9:40 Is there always trauma?

13:00 Drug use escalates in clubs

16:40 Is Dan an addict?

19:40 Other rock bottoms

24:40 Coming out of the coma

25:40 Dealing with guilt & shame

28:10 No regrets?!

29:40 Dan can't forgive himself

33:55 Recovery felt non negotiable

36:40 Dan's hospital records

38:00 Resisting urges and cravings

40:40 Moving energy into wellness

43:40 Spirituality & gratitude

Follow Dan

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/secondchance.dan

Follow Oliver

https://linktr.ee/olivermason

YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/3b5c4wy2

Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3

#AddictionRecovery

#SobrietyJourney

#SecondChance

What does sobriety actually mean once the alcohol is gone? In this next thought, I revisit a moment with Sober Dave for a discussion about addiction, identity, dopamine and emotional sobriety. Dave opens up about drinking from the age of 14, reaching 21 stone, hating the person staring back at him in the mirror, and the moment he realised quitting alcohol was only the beginning. If you’ve ever struggled with addiction, obsessive thinking, workaholism, online shopping, ADHD traits or the feeling of constantly chasing something to feel okay, this conversation will hit hard.

Dave speaks openly about the emotional side of recovery, the idea of being a “dry drunk”, and why many people replace alcohol with other compulsive behaviours without even realising it. We talk about dopamine addiction, ADHD, self-worth, identity after alcohol, and why getting sober can feel like stepping out of prison into a life you no longer recognise.

This episode also explores the hidden side of recovery that people rarely discuss publicly. From compulsive online shopping and addiction transfer to work addiction and validation seeking, we explain how the “ism” of alcoholism can quietly appear in other parts of life long after the drinking stops.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

YouTube - https://bit.ly/3VSPOw9

Spotify - https://bit.ly/402S5Hs

Apple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQ

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

Oliver & Dave are ambassadors for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Sober Dave

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/soberdave

Website - https://www.soberdave.co.uk

Podcast - Search "One For The Road" on all platforms

Follow Oliver

Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv

Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9

LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7

Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

#AddictionRecovery

#Sobriety

#MentalHealth

If you think you enjoy drinking too much to ever stop, this episode will challenge you. Today I'm joined by Hattie Underwood from Sober Happy Free to talk addiction, sobriety, cocaine use, ADHD, anxiety, and what really happens when drinking stops working. From secretly drinking on Christmas morning with a newborn baby to nearly five years sober, this is a raw, honest look at alcohol addiction recovery and how change actually happens.

Hattie shares the moment everything shifted - a quiet realisation there was nowhere left to hide. What follows is a story many people will recognise but rarely say out loud. The routines, the denial, the belief that things are still “under control” while everything underneath says otherwise.

This episode breaks down the role of Dry January, relapse, and why temporary sobriety often isn’t enough without a deeper shift. There’s a clear distinction here between stopping and actually letting go — and why that difference matters if you’re stuck in the cycle.

We also go deeper into the psychology behind addiction. ADHD, dopamine, anxiety, eating disorders — the patterns that existed long before alcohol, and why substances can feel like the solution before they become the problem.

Recovery isn’t presented as perfect or instant. It’s practical. Community, 12-step fellowship, structure, honesty — and learning how to live without constantly needing to escape your own mind.

If you’re questioning your relationship with alcohol, or even just curious whether things could feel different, this conversation gives you something real to work with.

More about Hattie -

Hattie is the face behind Sober Happy Free - a fast growing social media platform on Instagram and TikTok that’s built a community of more than 38,000 people in just 18 months.

Using her own experience of addiction, Hattie shares honestly about what helped her get sober - and, just as importantly, what’s helped her stay sober - with the aim of helping others who might be struggling.

She’s a passionate advocate for removing the stigma around addiction and believes real change is possible and is 5 years sober.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

3:00 A rock bottom moment

6:15 Dry January turns into 4 months

10:00 Returning to drinking and cocaine

12:00 The benefits of Dry January

14:30 Did Hattie really relapse?

17:00 OCD before addiction

18:30 Bulimia

20:20 Undiagnosed ADHD

22:30 Alcohol and messaging boys

24:00 Using sex for self esteem

25:45 Cocaine addiction

34:45 Drug addiction escalates

38:15 Addiction stronger than love for children?

44:15 Rock bottoms, orgasms and a cure for addiction?

51:00 How Hattie stays sober

56:00 Suggestions for those stubborn to change

Follow Hattie

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/soberhappyfree

Follow Oliver

Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv

Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9

LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7

Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

Please subscribe, follow, like, leave a review and comment!

YouTube -

Spotify -

Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3

#AddictionRecovery

#SobrietyJourney

#AlcoholFree

Many people struggling with alcohol and drug addiction dream of one day being able to drink or use normally again — to have one or two, enjoy it, and stop there. But what if that fantasy is part of the trap?

In this next quick thought, Oliver Mason explores relapse thinking, cravings, sobriety, moderation myths, and why many problem drinkers do not truly want one or two drinks at all. They want the feeling that comes after.

This episode looks at why social drinkers experience alcohol differently, why chasing “normal” can keep people stuck, and the uncomfortable truth that can help set people free.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

Spotify - https://bit.ly/3RmMvu8

YouTube - https://bit.ly/3NuVwzU

Apple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQ

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

Oliver is an ambassadors for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Oliver

Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv

Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9

LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7

Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

#AddictionRecovery

#Sobriety

#MentalHealth

If you think you’re in control of your drinking, listen to this. Today I sit down with Leanne Bayliss, who went from cocaine and alcohol addiction to raising a disabled child alone while rebuilding her life sober. This is not a journey about one period of struggle. It’s about what happens when you hit bottom repeatedly, and the moment you realise it’s live or die.

Leanne speaks about the reality of addiction, from early coping mechanisms like bulimia to a life dominated by alcohol, cocaine and dependency on anything that could either elevate or sedate her mind. Diagnosed later in life with ADHD, she explains how substances became both escape and survival, creating a cycle that felt impossible to break. What emerges is not a neat narrative, but a deeply human one—messy, confronting and recognisable.

At the centre of this episode is a moment that changes everything. An attempt on her life that becomes the turning point. Not because everything suddenly gets better, but because it forces a decision. Stay or go. Live or die. From that point, recovery begins...not as a single choice, but as a daily commitment.

The conversation moves into territory many avoid. Motherhood in addiction. Raising a child through over 100 medical procedures while battling alcohol dependence. The guilt, the denial, the rationalisation, and the quiet moments no one sees. Leanne doesn’t sanitise any of it. She articulates something many people feel but rarely admit: the internal conflict between love for your child and the pull of addiction.

There’s also a clear, grounded discussion about sobriety itself. Labels like “alcoholic”, the role of trauma, and the uncomfortable truth that there is no single path to recovery. Both Oliver and Leanne challenge rigid thinking in the recovery space, making it clear that what matters is not how you get sober, but that you do.

They explore the neurological side too. ADHD, dopamine regulation, and why substances like alcohol and cocaine can feel like solutions rather than problems—until they aren’t. It’s a nuanced look at addiction that goes beyond willpower and into wiring, environment and lived experience.

They talk about risk. The idea that you might have another drink in you, but not another recovery.

This isn’t a journey wrapped in clichés or easy answers. It’s about responsibility, awareness, and doing the work - especially when no one is watching.

Leanne is the author of the upcoming books From Cocaine to Rice Cakes and Single Mom Syndrome, where she shares unfiltered truths about sobriety, motherhood, and choosing yourself. Leanne is 5 years clean and sober.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK, support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Sponsor -

www.gavinsisters.co.uk promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Support the podcast -

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

2:55 A rock bottom moment

4:25 Navigating multiple challenges

6:25 Addiction would have killed me

8:40 Using everything to feel better

12:40 Why alcohol stopped bulimia

15:15 Why Leanne wanted to use drugs and alcohol

16:45 Gaining insight along the bumpy road to recovery

18:55 Wanting to destroy rather than fix

20:15 Alcoholic at 16?

23:55 Use recovery labels to empower you!

26:40 Are you really powerless?

28:25 Be careful where you get your advice

30:55 Cocaine, alcohol & ADHD

35:10 Being a sober mum is better

39:40 We love taking hostages

41:10 Being triggered by morning drinking

43:10 Can I control my drinking now?

45:30 Helping those who are depressed

50:40 How Leanne got clean and sober

53:55 Why recovery is different for everyone

57:55 Why helping others helps you

59:55 From cocaine to rice cakes

Follow Leanne

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/soberlittlemotherred

Follow Oliver

https://linktr.ee/olivermason

WATCH on YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/32r6ppec

Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3

#AddictionRecovery

#AlcoholRecovery

#RecoveryPodcast

Addiction doesn’t care what the substance is.

In this next quick thought, I revisit a conversation with Gab Stone, as we strip back the illusion that gambling is somehow different to alcohol or drugs. What you’ll hear might challenge everything you think you know. The same patterns, the same brain chemistry, the same spiral. If you’ve ever told yourself “this isn’t as bad” or “I can control it,” this conversation will hit hard. Because underneath it all, addiction is addiction—and the cost is always the same.

We explore the striking parallels between gambling addiction and substance addiction, breaking down the myth that behavioural addictions are somehow less serious. From the early days of harmless fun to the slow creep into obsession, the conversation reveals how quickly things escalate—and how difficult it becomes to step back. The chase to break even, the illusion of control, and the belief that one more hit, one more bet, might fix everything.

There’s a raw honesty here about the mental gymnastics addicts perform. The idea that the problem isn’t the behaviour itself, but the losses. The belief that a “miracle” is just one more gamble away. And the terrifying moment when logic disappears, even in the face of clear consequences. Whether it’s sitting in a clinic or hearing a doctor’s warning, the pull to go back remains just as strong.

We also touch on the neuroscience—dopamine, anticipation, and why gambling can be even more addictive than substances. The unpredictability, the constant cycle of hope and loss, and how the brain becomes wired to chase both. It’s not just about winning. In many cases, it’s the losing that hooks you deeper.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

YouTube - https://bit.ly/4fbqqZe

Spotify - https://bit.ly/41yG9OJ

Apple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQ

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

For further support Gab recommends the following -

National Problem Gambling Clinic -

https://www.cnwl.nhs.uk/services/addictions/national-gambling-clinic

GamCare -

https://www.gamcare.org.uk

Oliver is an ambassadors for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Gab

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X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

#GamblingRecovery #BreakingTheStigma #AddictionAwareness

What if addiction isn’t really about drugs - but about the feeling that you never truly belonged anywhere? Today, I sit down with Kyle Hall, whose story moves from growing up in an alcoholic home to crystal meth addiction, psychosis, and eight years of relapse before finally finding a way out.

Kyle describes being a kid who didn’t fit in anywhere—not with the popular crowd, not even with the “weird kids.” That quiet disconnection, and the inability to express who he really was, became the foundation for everything that followed.

What starts as food, pornography, and alcohol slowly escalates into something far darker, as he searches for identity, confidence, and escape in all the wrong places.

We break down the progression most people never see. How drinking turns into drugs. How curiosity becomes dependency. And how, step by step, he ends up in a world of chemsex, isolation, and eventually injecting crystal meth—not as one reckless decision, but as a series of small ones that compound over time.

From there, things unravel fast. Days without sleep. Paranoia. Hallucinations. A complete break from reality where he believes people are coming to kill him. And even then, the instinct is still the same—to drink, to use, to escape.

But even at rock bottom, there are moments that cut through.

One of them happens in an Uber, when a driver says something he never forgets: “You never finish alcohol. Alcohol finishes you.”

Kyle speaks openly about eight years of trying to get sober and failing, and what finally changed when it stuck. Not a new method. Not a new environment. But a moment of complete surrender—and a decision to actually live the recovery he’d been around for years.

We also explore the shift into spirituality. From rejecting faith completely to finding Jesus that gave him forgiveness, direction, and a way to rebuild.

By the end, this isn’t a clean redemption story. It’s something more honest. A life rebuilt from chaos—now channelled into The Spiritual Pharmacy & Late Night Sober Cafe, sober community spaces designed to give people what he never had: connection, purpose, and somewhere to belong.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

3:00 A rock bottom moment that lasted months

6:45 A drug induced psychosis

16:45 Using food and cigarettes before drugs

20:20 Porn obsession

22:30 Falling in love with alcohol

24:45 Struggling with sexuality

27:00 From alcohol to injecting crystal meth

32:20 Breaking the relapse cycle

36:45 Doing The 12 Steps

39:15 Finding a spiritual solution?

42:15 Kyle's sober events & spaces

Follow Kyle

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/kylehallartist

https://www.instagram.com/spiritualpharma

Buy tickets

https://www.tickettailor.com/events/theenergyxchangecic

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Please subscribe, follow, like, leave a review and comment!

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#AddictionRecovery

#RockBottom

#SobrietyJourney

Addiction is a liar. It convinces you that a drink or a drug will make you feel better — but that promise is one of the most dangerous lies in recovery.

In this week’s quick thought, Oliver Mason explores why “feeling better now” is addiction’s most powerful trick, how relapse works, and why short-term relief always comes at a long-term cost.

It’s a bit like a toxic ex who comes back promising things will be different — offering comfort, care, even hope — only for the cycle of harm to return later, often worse than before. Like someone who broke your nose, then has the audacity to say, “I’ll make you feel better.”

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

Spotify - https://bit.ly/3RmMvu8

YouTube - https://bit.ly/3NuVwzU

Apple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQ

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

Oliver is an ambassadors for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Oliver

Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv

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Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

#AddictionRecovery

#Sobriety

#MentalHealth

The rock bottom myth can be dangerous because it sells the idea that everyone has to to wait for one dramatic, Hollywood moment. But what if it’s actually a slow burn… gradually losing yourself without even realising? Today I sit down with Emily Horwood to look at the reality of alcohol addiction, sobriety, relapse, and recovery. From blackouts as a parent, mixing alcohol and coke, to building a thriving sober community, this is a conversation about what it really takes to change your life.

Emily is a former teacher, single mum, and psychology student who is now three years sober and helping others find connection beyond alcohol. Emily opens up about the slow burn of addiction, describing her rock bottom not as one explosive moment but as years spent “crawling along the bottom,” culminating in a terrifying blackout where she couldn’t remember putting her children to bed. It’s a stark reminder that suffering doesn’t always look dramatic from the outside.

We explore the dangerous myths around what an “alcoholic” looks like, and why so many people delay getting help because their lives appear functional. Emily shares how societal drinking culture, particularly in her twenties, normalised behaviours that would later become deeply destructive, and how an abusive relationship compounded her loss of identity and self-worth.

The conversation moves into recovery, beginning with one message that changed everything. Emily reflects on reaching out for help, attending her first meeting, and why desperation became the turning point. From 12-step programmes to online communities, sober curiosity, and building her own support networks, this episode highlights that there is no single path to recovery, only the one that works for you.

They also speak candidly about relapse, the “yet” concept, and how quickly addiction can take hold again. Emily’s description of returning to drinking after 18 months sober is a sobering insight into the reality of addiction, and why ongoing connection and self-awareness are essential.

Beyond sobriety, this episode is about growth. Emily shares how recovery has reshaped her identity, challenging long-held beliefs about who she was and uncovering a deeper sense of self. They discuss post-traumatic growth, the power of connection, and why building a meaningful life is about more than just removing alcohol.

Emily also talks about creating Sober Walkers, a growing community built on connection and accountability, and her new project, The Connection Couch, which brings people together for real, honest conversations about recovery and growth in an increasingly disconnected world.

If you’ve ever thought your drinking “isn’t bad enough,” this episode is a reminder that you don’t need to wait for things to fall apart. Change is possible, and it starts with being curious enough to ask the question.

Support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

https://womensaid.org.uk

https://refuge.org.uk

Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

3:15 A rock bottom moment

5:15 My rock bottom wasn't dramatic

9:20 Drink, coke, fun and chaos

12:20 An abusive relationship drives addiction

15:15 What are the 'YETS' in recovery?

19:30 What Emily tried first to get sober

22:20 What lies did addiction tell you?

25:45 Only functioning on the outside

27:45 How many meetings should you try?

30:40 AA IS NOT THE ONLY WAY!

35:15 Finding a sponsor and being of service

37:30 I couldn't accept I am alcoholic & relapse

41:40 Quick fire questions!

49:45 Sober Walkers & The Connection Couch

54:30 Is my drinking bad enough yet!?

Follow Emily

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/stepping_on_the_sober_train

https://www.instagram.com/theconnectioncouch

Follow Oliver

https://linktr.ee/olivermason

Watch or listen here -

YouTube - https://youtu.be/QGfL-OZDV5Q

Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3

#AddictionRecovery

#Sobriety

#Sober

In this next thought, I revisit a previous conversation with Martin John about cocaine addiction, denial and the reality of where the road can lead. After nearly four decades around cocaine, Martin estimates spending close to £2 million on drugs and the lifestyle that came with it. What follows is a brutally honest reflection on how casual use can quietly escalate, why so many people convince themselves it’s harmless, and the hard truth about what cocaine actually brings into people’s lives.

This is not about preaching or judging. It’s about lived experience. What starts as a “cheeky” line on a Friday night can slowly grow into something far bigger, often without the person realising it’s happening. Over time, the occasional gram becomes a weekly habit, the money disappears faster, and the consequences begin to show up in relationships, finances and mental health.

The conversation also explores the uncomfortable gap between how people see themselves when they’re using and what is actually happening around them. Many users still believe they are in control, still believe they are successful, still believe nothing has really changed. Yet behind the scenes the reality can look very different: missed payments, strained families, lies, secrecy and a growing dependence that quietly takes hold.

One of the most striking parts of this reflection is the blunt question: what does cocaine actually bring to the table? The answer offered here is simple. Nothing. No long-term gain, no real progress, and no success story that ends well for the user. Instead, the pattern often leads to the same place — confusion, loneliness and consequences that many never expected when they first started.

The clip also touches on the difficult role of honesty in recovery. When people finally reach out for help, sometimes what they need most is not sympathy but clarity. A direct conversation. A moment where the illusion breaks and the reality of the situation becomes impossible to ignore. For some people, that moment can become the turning point.

Recovery is possible. But the real work begins after the decision to stop. Maintaining change, rebuilding a life and staying honest with yourself is where the long-term challenge lies. That’s where support, community and purpose become essential.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

YouTube - https://bit.ly/3UUTRHL

Spotify - https://bit.ly/48Skd2I

Apple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQ

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

Oliver is an ambassadors for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Martin John

Instagram -

https://www.instagram.com/martinjohngetclean

Tik Tok - https://www.tiktok.com/@martinjohngetclean

Website -

https://www.martinjohngetclean.com

Book -

https://amzn.to/3OfmcVs

Follow Oliver

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Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

#AddictionRecovery

#CocaineAddiction

#SchoolOfRockBottom

What role does spirituality play in recovery, and is it possible to stay sober for decades without it? Today, I sit down with Nigel to explore alcoholism, ego, fear, and the deeper search for meaning that often lies beneath addiction.

At 38, Nigel had everything most people would call success - a family, a good job, a comfortable life. But inside, he was empty. Alcohol had been part of his life since he was twelve, and by his late thirties, it had taken away everything it once gave him.

What followed was a complete shift in how he saw himself, addiction, and the world around him. He came to believe that the voice in his head - his ego - was at the root of his drinking, and that freedom came from learning to live beyond it.

Nigel has been sober for over 30 years, but his recovery was never just about stopping drinking. For him, it became a profound shift in how he experiences life, identity, and connection. He describes alcoholism as an extreme form of ego, rooted in separation, self-hatred, and what he calls “suicide by instalments.” Looking back, Nigel recognises that much of his drinking arose from an early sense that life had no intrinsic meaning, a feeling he began noticing even as a child.

In this conversation, Nigel takes us beyond conventional recovery talk. He explains how ego and alcoholism are intertwined, why active drinking is a slow form of self-destruction, and how the mind can construct bleak narratives to justify addictive behaviour.

He explores the difference between illusion and reality, revealing why joy is always present even beneath fear.

Viewing recovery through a spiritual lens, Nigel shows how seeing ourselves as connected to God - or a higher source - can reshape how we live, how we relate to others, and how we understand ourselves.

He introduces a non-dual perspective, highlighting our inherent divinity, equality, and connection to all, and he challenges common fears around death, suggesting that embracing the eternal present can bring lasting peace.

Whether or not you share his spiritual perspective, this episode offers a profound and thought-provoking look at what it takes to recover, find meaning, and stay sober long-term. It’s an episode that will make you rethink fear, joy, and the true nature of connection.

Today you will learn of what happens when you stop chasing happiness out there… and start looking for it within.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

2:50 A rock bottom moment

5:10 What was the emptiness inside?

6:15 Why did Nigel start drinking at age 12?

8:30 Alcoholic at 15?

9:30 Using the label as a reason to drink more

10:30 High Functioning alcoholism?

14:20 Why did Nigel stop drinking?

15:00 Chronic/terminal uniqueness

16:40 How Nigel got sober

21:45 Inverted narcissism?

22:30 Is Nigel cured?

23:45 Removing EGO and become ONE

30:10 A "God shaped" hole?

34:15 Does Nigel need a spiritual solution?

37:30 A Course In Miracles

39:00 EGO VS ALCOHOLISM

41:00 Why fear isn't real!

43:00 Joy is always available

44:45 Why Nigel isn't scared of death

47:30 Why Nigel needs God to be sober

Follow Oliver

Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv

Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9

LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7

Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

Watch or listen here -

YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/mrxhpkr3

Spotify - https://tinyurl.com/2p8hhtf

Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3

#AddictionRecovery

#Sobriety

#Sober

Addiction tells one of its most convincing lies long before recovery even begins: that the problem will never leave you. In this next thought, Oliver Mason challenges the fear that sobriety means a lifetime of daily battle. If you’ve ever wondered whether recovery actually gets easier - or whether the voice in your head ever quietens - this conversation cuts straight through myth, shame and misconception to reveal what really happens when someone commits to change.

This explores the moment many people get stuck: recognising there is a problem but believing it will never go away. Oliver reframes addiction not as an unbeatable enemy but as something that loses power when recovery is properly supported. From therapy and structured programmes to peer fellowship communities we examine why connection - not willpower - changes outcomes.

Using vivid storytelling, Oliver dismantles the fantasy many people secretly hope for: that addiction can simply be eliminated overnight, metaphorically dragged down an alleyway and thrown into the River Thames forever. Instead, he explains how long-term recovery works in reality. The obsession doesn’t vanish dramatically; it becomes distant, contained and manageable. For those early in sobriety who feel overwhelmed, this perspective offers reassurance that the intensity of the early days does not last forever.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

Spotify - https://bit.ly/3RmMvu8

YouTube - https://bit.ly/3NuVwzU

Apple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQ

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

Oliver is an ambassadors for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Oliver

Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv

Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9

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Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

#podcast #recovery #alcoholaddiction

Harrison Ward, also known as Fell Foodie, drank more than 20 pints a day, smoked like a chimney, battled clinical depression in silence and reached a moment where he believed there were only two ways out.

Today I sit down with the man behind the outdoor cooking phenomenon to unpack addiction, withdrawal, mental health and the decision that saved his life. Harrison shares the reality behind addiction, drinking culture and the hidden loneliness of high-masking depression. From working in pubs while drinking heavily to climbing a mountains during withdrawal, this is a raw exploration of what happens when escape stops working and honesty begins.

Together they explore why alcohol can feel like medicine before it becomes a prison, how depression can quietly shape behaviour from teenage years onwards, and why many people suffer in silence long before anyone notices. Harrison speaks openly about peer pressure, shame, identity and the fear of speaking honestly about mental health, especially growing up in environments where vulnerability felt impossible.

Harrison explains how sobriety allowed him to rediscover purpose through food, nature and creativity, cooking restaurant-quality meals on remote mountainsides and sharing hope with thousands online. Oliver and Harrison also discuss cravings, withdrawal, rebuilding self-worth, going public about sobriety and the practical options available for anyone struggling with alcohol or depression today. If you or someone you love is struggling, this conversation offers honesty without judgement and hope without clichés.

Now, over 9 years sober, Harrison has fused his love of food with the healing power of the outdoors. He’s hiking the fells of Cumbria and cooking restaurant quality meals on a simple camp stove in the mountains, and sharing his story to show others that recovery is possible.

He’s been featured on the BBC with Mary Berry, Channel 5’s ‘Winter on the Farm’, Countryfile Magazine, Men’s Fitness, and more. He’s a bestselling author, a keynote speaker, and a brand ambassador.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

T-Shirt from The Recovery Cartel -

www.therecoverycartel.co.uk

https://www.instagram.com/therecoverycartel

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

3:30 A rock bottom moment

5:20 Using alcohol to escape

7:30 Depression as a teenager

10:30 Mental health was not talked about before

11:45 Drinking 20 pints a day!

16:40 Was Harrison a high functioning alcoholic?

19:00 Is high functioning addiction worse?

22:50 The moment I decided to stop drinking

28:30 Moderation and doing a geographical

36:00 Withdrawal and depression

40:00 Climbing a mountain in withdrawal!

45:20 From hurting to healing

47:40 Dealing with cravings & peer pressure

51:45 Finding passion for cooking

54:00 Going public about sobriety

56:45 Options for help to go sober and fighting depression

Follow Harrison

Website - https://www.fellfoodie.co.uk

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/fellfoodie

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/fellfoodie/

YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/FellFoodie

TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@fellfoodie

Twitter - https://twitter.com/FellFoodie

Follow Oliver

Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv

Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9

LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7

Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

Watch/Listen -

YouTube - https://youtu.be/7UW29Hp7rBY

Spotify - https://tinyurl.com/djmdvpjr

Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3

#AddictionRecovery

#Sobriety

#MentalHealth

This episode is for anyone who has tried to stop drinking and found themselves right back where they started. In this next quick thought, I -Oliver Mason - revisit a conversation with Issy Hawkins on what relapse actually looked like for me, why “relapse is part of recovery” never rang true for me, and the moment when the fight finally stopped.

What unfolds is not a neat recovery story but a real one. A journey marked by chaos, embarrassment, failed attempts, and a deep resistance to the very thing that ultimately worked. From celebrating sobriety milestones with a drink to being kicked out of meetings for turning up drunk, this conversation strips away the romance and speaks plainly about addiction as illness, not weakness. It also challenges the idea that you can think or muscle your way out of something that thrives on isolation. At its core, this clip is about connection. Why trying to recover alone can quietly keep you stuck, how helping others can drain the power out of a drinking thought, and why the word “we” can be the difference between staying sober and sliding back. If you’re questioning whether there’s a way out, or if you recognise yourself in any part of this story, this is one to sit with.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

Spotify - https://bit.ly/4cFvnIy

YouTube - https://bit.ly/3Ts8npR

Apple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQ

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

Oliver is an ambassadors for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Issy

Tik Tok - https://www.tiktok.com/@issyhawkins_

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/issyhawkins_

Follow Oliver

Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv

Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9

LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7

Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

#podcast #recovery #alcoholaddiction

When I first saw Johnny Lawrence’s documentary The Slavery of Addiction, I knew I had to speak with him. Johnny grew up in fear - beaten by his father, bullied for his skin colour and convinced he’d never be enough. Alcohol seemed to be the perfect medicine.

Together we explore one of the most misunderstood aspects of trauma and addiction: acceptance. Johnny shares a deeply personal account of confronting his abusive father as an adult, the moment he realised the abuse was not his to carry, and why walking away became an act of self-preservation rather than bitterness. What follows is an honest conversation about emotional responsibility, identity and the cost of waiting for people to change when they are incapable of doing so.

Johnny explains why trying to “process the past” often keeps people trapped, and why accepting emotions, rather than events, became the turning point in his recovery. He challenges common narratives around forgiveness, making a clear distinction between accepting how something made you feel and excusing what was done to you. This episode explores how anger, guilt, and helplessness often replace one another, and how alcohol can become a way to survive emotions that feel unbearable at the time.

The conversation also reframes addiction in a way many people have never heard before. Johnny speaks openly about being grateful to alcohol, not as something to glorify, but as an honest acknowledgement that it once served a purpose. Together, we discuss why substances are often solutions before they become problems, why sobriety is about freedom rather than restriction, and how focusing on what you want instead of what you’re avoiding can change everything.

This episode is essential listening for anyone struggling with trauma, addiction, or the pressure to forgive before they are ready. It offers a grounded, compassionate perspective on recovery, accountability, and what it really means to let go of what was never yours to begin with.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

T-Shirt from The Recovery Cartel -

www.therecoverycartel.co.uk

https://www.instagram.com/therecoverycartel

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

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Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

3:20 A rock bottom moment

10:20 Escaping violence as a child

13:35 The brain learns it needs alcohol to survive

15:20 Dyslexia & being mixed race shapes Johnny's experience

20:20 Trying alcohol for the first time

25:20 Alcohol becomes a replacement for life

28:35 Making peace with the abuse

33:05 Processing the emotional imprints & acceptance

34:50 Stop focusing on not drinking alcohol!

36:20 What about forgiveness?

42:05 Why I'm grateful to alcohol

46:0l20 Alcohol becomes the solution 47:50 People will tell you you don't have a problem!

49:35 How did Johnny get sober?

52:05 Dealing with alcohol cravings

57:05 The sober journey

Follow Johnny

The Slavery of Addiction - https://youtu.be/8j3Nq_lcFlY?feature=shared

Website - https://www.johnnylawrence.co.uk

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/theselfdevelopmentcoach

Follow Oliver

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#Sobriety

#Recovery

#MentalHealth

In this next quick thought, I revisit a conversation with rehab manager Raffa as we challenge the stereotype of what “rock bottom” really means.

It’s not always losing your job, your home, or your relationships. Sometimes it’s quieter — a loss of self-respect, a look of disappointment from someone you love, or the moment you realise you can’t keep living the way you are.

Drawing on decades of frontline recovery experience, this conversation explores the many forms rock bottom can take — and why it’s often an internal turning point rather than a public collapse.

We also tackle a common myth: that rehab is only for a certain “type” of person. Addiction doesn’t discriminate — and getting help is not weakness, it’s courage.

You don’t need to lose everything or wait to hit a stereotypical 'rock bottom' to change — recovery begins when you can no longer ignore the pain.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

Spotify - https://bit.ly/3YMYyWC

YouTube - https://bit.ly/3X0RJzq

Apple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQ

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

Oliver is an ambassadors for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Raffa

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Follow Oliver

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#rehab #addiction #recovery

He technically died twice. He survived Borstal, homelessness, decades of speed and cocaine, five heart attacks, and 29 days in a coma after a triple heart bypass went wrong. His life was saved by Dr Hasnat Khan, who was close to Princess Diana, and he came back sober, creative, and unstoppable.

This is Garry Johnson, the punk poet, street journalist, and man who discovered the Stone Roses, telling his story like no one else can. From the chaos of Fleet Street tabloids to the highs of punk rock and the life-threatening lows of addiction, Garry shares the moments that nearly ended him—and how he survived them all.

We explore the drug-fuelled confidence that once drove his creativity, the trauma that shaped his choices, and the health crises that should have stopped him. Garry talks honestly about losing his daughter, why caffeine now acts as a trigger, and the hard truth about why addiction rarely ends when the body starts screaming for change.

Since quitting, Garry has transformed his life: seven books published, albums released, screenplays written, and stage performances performed sober. He reflects on creativity without drugs, lessons learnedand what he would tell his grandchildren about drugs.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

2:30 A rock bottom moment

5:00 Speed helps him become a writer

6:45 Abuse in children's home & Borstal

7:45 Using speed & creativity to deal with anger

12:00 Coke and speed gave me confidence

13:30 Why speed was my favourite

16:00 Dependancy starts

21:15 Cocaine calmed me down and helped me survive?

22:45 Garry has his first heart attack

24:30 Paranoia & anxiety

28:15 Nearly dying was the wake up call

30:30 Now I don't even drink coffee!

32:00 I kept using in between heart attacks

34:30 Getting clean and career takes off

36:00 Do drugs make you more creative?

39:00 Garry discovered The Stone Roses?

41:00 A true story about Ozzy Osbourne!

42:30 Now a story about Robbie Williams!

45:15 Would Garry change the past if he could?

Follow Oliver

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Please subscribe, follow, like, leave a review and comment!

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#AddictionRecovery #CocaineAddiction #SchoolOfRockBottom

In this next thought, I revisit a simply amazing conversation with Mark Shenton as we explore the essential conversation around pornography, sex addiction, dopamine, and the search for validation.

Drawing from lived experience, this episode examines how early exposure to porn can quietly shape identity, self-worth, and behaviour, and why so many people struggle in silence. If you’ve ever questioned your relationship with sex, porn, or compulsive behaviours, this is an honest, grounded reflection that may challenge how you think about addiction and recovery.

This conversation looks at pornography not as a moral issue, but as a powerful neurological and emotional stimulus. We discuss how constant access can distort expectations around sex, intimacy, and body image, particularly for young people still forming a sense of self. The episode explores how porn can act as an entry point into more compulsive behaviours, how tolerance builds over time, and why the brain often cannot distinguish between digital stimulation and real human connection.

There is also a candid discussion about objectification, shame, and validation. How the pursuit of approval through sex can feel like relief in the moment, yet leave deeper emptiness afterwards. How dopamine highs mirror other addictions, followed by anxiety, depression, and regret. And how blurred boundaries between fantasy and reality can escalate behaviour in ways people never expected or planned.

Importantly, this episode does not stay in the problem. It speaks openly about recovery, meetings, and the quiet power of sharing honestly with others who understand. It reflects on love addiction, emotional attachment, and the difference between intimacy and intensity. It also highlights how meaning and stability can slowly replace compulsive coping mechanisms through connection, service, and telling the truth about our experiences.

This is not a sensational story. It is a human one. A reminder that addiction often begins as an attempt to soothe pain, that many people are walking similar paths behind closed doors, and that help exists long before things fall apart completely. If this resonates, you are not alone, and you do not have to work it out by yourself.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

Spotify - https://bit.ly/3WCXK5s

YouTube - https://bit.ly/3Ytj4f7

Apple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQ

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

For anyone struggling with these topics Mark suggests reaching out to -

SLAA - https://slaauk.org

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Mark

X - https://x.com/ShentonStage

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/shentonstage

Follow Oliver

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#pornaddiction #slaa #recovery

Have you ever walked past someone sleeping rough, visibly unwell, clearly addicted to drugs, and written them off without a second thought?

Today, I'm joined by Charlotte Seaman to explore one of most confronting addiction stories you will hear. From heroin and crack addiction to prison, psychosis, sex work, assault and homelessness, Charlotte’s journey shows the brutal reality of severe drug addiction and the possibility of recovery when all hope feels lost. If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, trauma, or relapse, this conversation may be the one that unlocks a door.

Charlotte was born into a loving home, yet by the age of 11 she was already using drugs and being arrested. At 13, following a sexual assault, her life escalated rapidly into violence, incarceration, and heavy substance use. What followed was an 18-year descent through crack, heroin, injecting, snowballing, repeated prison sentences, homelessness, and eventually a full psychotic breakdown. This episode shows what it really looks like when drugs take everything.

Together, Oliver and Charlotte explore the link between childhood trauma and self-medication, how addiction progresses when left untreated, and why mixing stimulants and depressants can become so compelling and so dangerous. Charlotte speaks openly about using heroin then methodone during pregnancy under medical supervision, smoking spice in prison, living on the streets, and the shame and guilt that followed her for years. This is an honest conversation about accountability, consequences, and forgiveness in recovery.

Most importantly, this episode is about how Charlotte finally got clean and sober, the role recovery programmes played in saving her life, and what it means to rebuild after nearly two decades lost to addiction. Now over a year clean, Charlotte has become a recovery advocate with more than 100,000 followers online and has been recognised with a High Sheriff Award for turning her life around. Her story challenges stereotypes and offers hope to those who feel they have gone too far to ever come back.

This is a difficult but deeply hopeful episode about responsibility and redemption without clichés. If you believe addiction is a moral failing, this conversation may change your mind. If you’re struggling right now, it may remind you that recovery is possible — even after everything has fallen apart.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK, support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -

www.gavinsisters.co.uk use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

4:00 A rock bottom moment

5:10 Alcohol and drugs from 11

7:45 Not feeling good enough

8:45 Charlotte goes off the rails

10:30 The aftermath of sexual assault

11:30 Charlotte goes to prison

12:35 Why did Charlotte commit assault and self-forgiveness?

16:30 Smoking spice in prison

18:00 Escalation to snowballs

20:00 Living on the streets

22:00 Using methadone during pregnancy

25:15 Methadone & Heroin withdrawal

28:30 Unmanageable & powerless

30:30 The internal snap

33:00 Addiction leaves me vulnerable

34:00 Why sharing rock bottom moments saves lives!

36:15 How Charlotte found recovery

39:00 Are you in recovery if you take Methadone?

41:50 The 12 steps saved my life

43:00 Recovery is more powerful than addiction

44:15 Can ANYONE addicted to drugs make it back?!

46:30 Abstince from EVERYTHING?!

48:15 TikTok is Step 12?

49:15 Charlotte wins The Sheriff Award

51:45 An emotional but hopeful end

Follow Charlotte

Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@charlottesrecovering

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/charlotteseaman11

Follow Oliver

https://linktr.ee/olivermason

Watch/listen here

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Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3

Dry January is often framed as a health reset, but for many people it becomes something far bigger. In this next quick thought, I revisit a conversation with Sober Dave recorded at the most emotionally charged point of the year, we hear how one message on the 7th of January changed the direction of an entire life. Hungover, grieving, overweight and stuck in a cycle that felt impossible to escape, Dave was invited into a three-month break from drinking. Not as an intervention. Not as a warning. Simply as support. What followed wasn’t just sobriety, but clarity, momentum and the first glimpse of a different future.

Dry January works because it removes judgement. It gives people permission to pause without having to explain themselves. In this conversation, we explore why Dry January creates that rare psychological space, why stopping “just for a month” can unlock deeper questions, and why curiosity is far more powerful than willpower. This episode speaks directly to anyone who has tried Dry January before, anyone questioning their relationship with alcohol, or anyone who has wondered what might happen if they didn’t go back to drinking at the end of the month.

This clip goes beyond counting days. It looks at what actually helps people stay stopped: community, education, self-investment and honest reflection. From weight loss and better sleep to rebuilding self-worth and identity, this is a reminder that meaningful change rarely comes from pressure or shame. It starts when someone feels invited rather than told.

If Dry January has ever made you quietly ask, “What would my life look like if I kept going?”, this episode is for you.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

YouTube - https://bit.ly/3VSPOw9

Spotify - https://bit.ly/402S5Hs

Apple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQ

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

Oliver & Dave are ambassadors for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Sober Dave

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/soberdave

Website - https://www.soberdave.co.uk

Podcast - Search "One For The Road" on all platforms

Follow Oliver

Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv

Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

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#SoberLiving

#DryJanuary

#AlcoholRecovery

Ryan Phillips shares his recovery from cocaine addiction with over 65,000 followers on TikTok. In this conversation, he describes the moment his cocaine use finally collapsed under the weight of truth. After days awake on coke, surrounded by smashed glass and blood, Ryan was found by his sister while his young niece waited outside. Hearing that his niece had become frightened of him became the wake-up call that ended the secrecy and forced honesty to begin. We talk openly about addiction, cocaine recovery, relapse, accountability and what happens when denial finally breaks.

Ryan is a recovery and wellness advocate and the founder of The Deep End, a community offering therapy, coaching, yoga, meditation and breathwork. With a background in the music industry, he speaks candidly about cocaine addiction, dry sniffing, ADHD, fantasy as escapism, and the slow, uneven reality of getting clean. He reflects on growing up using imagination as refuge, moving from weed to cocaine, and how addiction tightens its grip quietly rather than all at once.

We explore the myth of the dramatic turning point, the cycle of stopping and starting, and why willpower alone never worked. Ryan explains how speaking the truth out loud became the real shift, how NA, CBT and therapy each played different roles, and why sharing publicly on TikTok helps him stay clean. We also discuss whether relapse is part of recovery, why counting days and chips can sometimes do more harm than good, and how to navigate New Year’s Eve without cocaine.

This is not a story about instant change or neat endings. It is a grounded conversation about patience, responsibility and learning to live without escape. If you are questioning your relationship with drugs, wondering whether cocaine has started to control you, or trying to understand what recovery actually looks like day to day, this episode will meet you where you are.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

3:00 A rock bottom moment

12:00 The loop of being in and out of recovery

13:45 Using fantasy as a child to escape

17:00 Moving from weed to coke

19:30 Cocaine starts to get it's claws in

21:45 Will everyone who takes coke get addicted?

25:00 ADHD & dry sniffing?

26:45 Ryan's recovery journey

32:00 NA, CBT & Therapy

34:15 Why TikTok helps Ryan stay clean

36:10 Sponsor

37:10 Does Ryan use old videos as reminders?

38:45 What do the public want from Ryan?

42:15 What is The Deep End?

46:00 Is relapse part of recovery?

48:15 Counting days & chips arent useful?!

50:00 How do you stay away from drugs on New Years Eve?

52:15 New Years Eve/Day is just another day?

54:00 Patience & gratitude

57:15 Recovery or recovered?

58:15 What do you want written on your gravestone?

Follow Ryan

Website -

https://www.wearethedeepend.com

TikTok -

https://www.tiktok.com/@ryaninrecovery

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/ryan_thedeepend

Follow Oliver

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Please subscribe, follow, like, leave a review and comment!

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#CocaineRecovery

#AddictionRecovery

#RecoveryPodcast

Staying sober through the festive season can feel like walking a tightrope with no safety net, especially when the mind starts whispering those familiar lies that have dragged so many people back to day one. In this next quick thought, I revisit an old episode and the most dangerous relapse lie “just one won’t hurt". If you’re trying to stay clean and sober one day at a time, this short episode will hit exactly where you need it.

Addiction crafts believable lies, how denial disguises itself as control, and why comparing your drinking or using to someone “worse” keeps you trapped. I unpack the real meaning of powerlessness, why it has nothing to do with quantity or frequency, and how the smallest decision can trigger a cascade of consequences that affect consumption, timekeeping, behaviour, mood and mental health. Remember, powerlessness starts when you take that first drink or drug.

We look at the internal logic of relapse, the moments where people convince themselves that this time will somehow be different, and the reason relapse often begins days or weeks before the physical act. Through humour, honesty and lived experience, I show how these patterns play out in real life and why understanding this lie one tool to long-term recovery.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

Spotify - https://bit.ly/3RmMvu8

YouTube - https://bit.ly/3NuVwzU

Apple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQ

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Oliver

Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv

Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9

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Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

#relapseprevention

#recovery

#alcoholaddiction

Today's conversation with Serena Palmer goes straight to the heart of addiction, ADHD, success and collapse, and the hidden world of high-achieving professionals who are fighting battles no one can see. If you’ve ever wondered how someone can lead global teams, excel in a corporate role, appear entirely in control, and still be unravelling behind the scenes, this episode will speak to you.

We explore late ADHD diagnosis, the link between neurodiversity and alcohol misuse. Behind the titles, she was privately battling a late ADHD diagnosis, escalating drinking, and cycles of alcoholic psychosis. Today she’s 2 years sober, deeply grounded in the work of recovery, and helping individuals and organisations understand neurodiversity, addiction, and human potential in a far more honest way.

We walk through the earlier years too: the roots of self-medication, the dopamine-seeking patterns that began with sugar and the early risk-taking. Serena explains how ADHD can push high performers into dangerous coping mechanisms and why adults diagnosed later in life are statistically far more vulnerable to addiction. Here’s the reality: adults with ADHD are three times more likely to develop addiction, and if they’re diagnosed later in life, up to 60% are already battling substance issues. Among high achievers, 1 in 10 hides an addiction behind their success and around 1 in 4 will battle it at some point in their lives.

We also discuss the end of an eighteen-year relationship, the impact of redundancy, the pressures of corporate travel, and the ways high achievers can hide addiction in plain sight. Serena brings clarity to how these dynamics fuel dependence and why some of the most capable, driven people can find themselves on the edge without ever realising how far they’ve fallen.

Before we close, Serena shares clear, practical advice for anyone trying to stay clean and sober through Christmas and offers insight for anyone who looks successful on the outside but feels like they’re collapsing internally. This is a conversation about reality, responsibility, hope and the possibility of change—delivered with truth, depth and humanity.

If you’ve ever battled addiction, questioned your relationship with alcohol, lived with ADHD, or struggled to square your internal world with the life people assume you’re living, this episode will stay with you.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

4:00 A rock bottom moment

10:30 Would you rewrite history if you could?

14:00 Why Serena needed pain to stop drinking

15:00 Enabling, toxic relationships & masking

18:30 Self medicating undiagnosed ADHD

22:00 Emotional dysregulation & RSD

26:00 Nicotine, smoking and ADHD

28:00 Daydreaming and fantasy

31:30 Workaholism?

33:00 Rehab and coming out of denial

39:00 Getting excited about recovery

41:50 Using hyperfocus in recovery

44:30 Cocaine Anonymous

48:20 Sponsor

49:20 Are you born with ADHD?

50:20 How addiction and ADHD interact

53:30 Tips to stay sober at Xmas

Follow Serena

Website -

https://www.serena.consulting

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thereal_hrcoach

STRAIGHT OUTTA REHAB

https://amzn.eu/d/fmvl89U

MY TWO BRAINS AND ME

https://amzn.eu/d/6p88BoM

Follow Oliver

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Also WATCH here

YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/229ndvfk

#AddictionRecovery

#AlcoholFree

#SobrietyJourney

In this next quick thought, I revisit a moment with Rupert Hill as we explore one of the most misunderstood drivers of alcohol dependence: the moment your brain learns that “hair of the dog” removes discomfort. It feels harmless, even cultural, but for many it is the point where drinking shifts from enjoyment to compulsion. In this clip, we break down how the cycle begins, why it escalates so quickly, and how a seemingly small decision can shape years of someone’s life. If you’ve ever questioned your relationship with alcohol, this conversation will give you clarity.

We discuss the biology behind withdrawal, the deceptive logic of “just one to take the edge off,” and the moment when drinking stops being about feeling good and becomes about trying to feel normal. We look at how routine behaviour becomes dependence, how high-functioning drinkers hide it in plain sight, and how life slowly reorganises itself around the next drink. This is a candid exploration of compulsion, secrecy and the mental burden of planning a day around alcohol.

You will also hear how everyday situations become logistical challenges when you cannot be away from a drink, why mornings become the most dangerous time, and how the brain’s survival instincts can quietly drive destructive habits. It is an honest account of progression, denial and the tipping points people rarely talk about.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

Spotify - https://bit.ly/3zqqR2J

YouTube - https://bit.ly/45UHYWv

Apple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQ

About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

For anyone struggling with these topics Rupert suggests reading Alcohol Explained by William Porter.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Rupert

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/rupertsinclairhill

Twitter/X - https://x.com/RupertHill

Follow Oliver

Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv

Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r

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Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah

X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

#functioningalcoholic

#recovery

#alcoholaddiction

There are some stories that force you to rethink everything you believe about addiction. This is one of them.

Terry Devine was five years old when a teacher humiliated him in front of a class — a single moment that buried him in shame so deep he carried it for decades. That shame became the soil everything else grew from: the drinking, the chaos, the emotional collapse, and eventually heroin. Not because he wanted to get high, but because heroin felt like a parent he never had. Warm. Safe. Comforting. Until it wasn’t.

In this conversation, Terry reveals the parts of addiction that almost never make it into public view. The night he pushed a burning poker into his own arm. The moment heroin stopped working and withdrawal hit with a force that made death feel easier. The sickening realisation that he was no longer chasing pleasure — only running from pain. And the brutal truth that there are two kinds of rock bottom: the physical one everyone imagines, and a far more dangerous spiritual one that no one can see coming.

Terry talks openly about how undiagnosed ADHD shaped everything: the impulsivity, the emotional intensity, the constant sense of being wrong in his own skin. He explains why he believes ADHD is one of the most overlooked drivers of early substance use, and how it became the invisible gateway that made heroin feel inevitable.

What Terry describes here is the real machinery of addiction: the obsession that silences logic, the withdrawals that feel like your insides are being torn out, the distortion of identity, and the terrifying moment when a person realises they’ve crossed a line they can’t uncross. He explains how shame becomes a worldview, how trauma rewrites the brain, and how addiction convinces you that you are beyond saving long before anyone else realises you're in trouble.

And then, somehow, he rebuilt a life and you'll find out exactly how he did it. Terry met the love of his life in recovery and learn how they both stayed sober during tragedy, why the 12 steps having only small success rate is false, why and how cross addiction happens, how heroin lead him to alcohol and what it really means to be clean and sober.

More on Terry -

Today, he’s a lecturer in forensic science at the University of the West of England, a clinical addiction hypnotherapist, a recovery coach, and the founder of Devine Recovery Solutions. He’s dedicated to helping others break free from addiction.

Terry is also a committed fundraiser in memory of his son, climbing mountains and volcanoes across the world — from Ecuador to Kilimanjaro. He’s now approaching 13 yrs clean and sober.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK - support here: https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode!

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

4:40 A rock bottom moment

9:30 Shame, not feeling good enough and heroin

14:35 If drugs are the answer what is the question?

15:00 ADHD was the gateway drug

18:10 Alcohol to heroin was fast

21:30 Heroin withdrawal

25:15 Heroin addiction leads to stealing

27:00 Addiction Vs dependency

28:40 Cross addiction & relapse

32:20 Do you have to give up all drugs?

33:20 How did Terry get clean and sober?

37:30 12 Steps has a 5% success rate?

41:30 Staying sober during tragedy

48:30 Embracing vulnerability & courage

50:20 Sponsor

51:20 Can you have a relationship early in recovery?

Follow Terry

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#AddictionRecovery

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#MentalHealthAwareness

What happens when love turns into obsession and connection becomes dependency? In this next quick thought, I revisit one of the most revealing moments from the podcast with Livvie May.

This is an honest conversation about sex and love addiction, fear of abandonment, obsessive attachment, and the emotional patterns that quietly shape who we choose and why. If you have ever lost yourself in someone else or found yourself repeating the same relationships, this clip will feel uncomfortably familiar and deeply important.

We explore how relationships turn into sex and love addiction, how obsession can mask itself as intensity, and why the same relationship pattern can repeat itself for years. The conversation examines the fear of abandonment that drove her choices, the distress of losing her identity within someone else, and the moment she realised she had been shaping relationships around control, shame and fear. It also follows the three-week relationship cycle she found herself trapped in, the grief that reshaped her understanding of connection, and the moment of clarity that arrived when she stepped into sobriety.

Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE

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About the “THOUGHT” series -

Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.

For anyone struggling with these topics Livvie suggests reaching out to:

SLAA - https://slaauk.org

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Follow Livvie

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/maylivvie

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#loveaddiction #slaa #recovery

Kaitlin never spoke about her addiction because she thought she would lose her kids. So, what happens when alcohol, coke and weed stop being fun and start taking over your life and threaten everything you hold most sacred and precious? What happens when addiction changes from keeping you safe to making you vulnerable to assault?

We explore what life and motherhood really looks like in the haze of drink and drugs - not from a place of judgement but from lived experience. This is about the reality of addiction, the behaviour that comes with it, and the long process of learning who you are without the substances you once relied on. It’s not about perfection, but about honesty — the kind that comes after everything has fallen apart.

We talk about losing ourselves to drinking and drugs culture, the friendships that faded, and the dangerous moments that pushed things too far. We dig into the shame that keeps people stuck — the stories that feel too humiliating to tell, and how sharing them can become the first act of freedom.

This is a conversation about emotional immaturity, about using alcohol and drugs to avoid feeling, and the strange peace that comes when you finally stop running. We break down what a relapse really is the data around around relapse rates and why rehabs don't keep you sober.

You’ll hear what it’s like to rebuild from the ground up: getting your weekends back, repairing relationships, rediscovering ambition and joy, and learning to sit with yourself without needing a drink, spliff or a line to take the edge off. It’s also about empathy — how surviving addiction can give you a deeper understanding of human beings, and why the pain you go through can become the very thing that allows you to help others.

Kaitlin has been sober over three years and proves that asking for help doesn’t make you a bad parent—it makes you a better one. A mum of three, she speaks honestly about the highs, the lows, and everything in between, living one day at a time with love, humility, and the support of her 12-step program.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -

www.gavinsisters.co.uk

and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1

Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal

Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

4:00 Kaitlin's rock bottom moment

5:30 Not safe and feeling shame

7:30 Fear of letting secrets out and losing children

10:30 Anything you put before recovery you will lose?

13:30 Are the words disease and addict a help or a problem?

20:00 Relapse leads to death?

23:00 What is a 'real' alcoholic?

26:00 How drugs and alcohol progressed from teens

30:20 Was your favourite weed, coke, pills or booze?

33:25 Sponsor

34:30 Relapse or blip?

36:45 The gift of desperation

38:15 What is the real relapse rate?

42:00 The first 30 days are awful!

44:00 Finding balance again

45:30 Going sober and losing friends

47:20 Why is The 12 Steps the last thing most people try?

50:45 What about tradition 12?

53:30 When are you ready to get sober?

54:30 Why rehab doesn't keep you sober

55:30 Quitting weed was the hardest for me!

Follow Kaitlin

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/soberasamotherfocused

TikTok -

https://www.tiktok.com/@kaitlinissober

Follow Oliver

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X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds

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