Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast ResponseABLE Parenting
| Titre | Date | Durée | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 56. Getting Your Spark Back with Rachel Marie Martin | 26 Aug 2024 | 00:29:51 | |
I am so excited to share this interview with you. Rachel Marie Martin is an author, entrepreneur, speaker and mom to SEVEN yes you heard me SEVEN children!! She shares her story of how she felt lost in motherhood, a pivotal moment in her life where she chose to prioritize herself and how she's been able to move through life even when people questioned her because she trusted that spark. I invite you to listen and see yourself in her story. You can find Rachel at FindingJoy.net On Instagram @finding_Joy And Facebook https://www.facebook.com/findingjoyblog Rachel's Book GET YOUR SPARK BACK comes out 8/27/24 everywhere books are sold! FREE GUIDES! 4 steps to get you through your kid's meltdown without snapping! Do you find yourself yelling more often than you want? Does it feel like yelling is the ONLY way to get through to your kids? But it makes you feel awful? You absolutely need my Free Guide To Stop Yelling: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/yelling This guide will walk you through the process of staying regulated and give you tools to use during high stress moments. COMMUNITY! And now the STRONG-WILLED LANGUAGE series is up and running! Every week get your hands on a skill that works specifically for our strong-willed kids. Join Today! Enter the code PODCAST for $10 off your first month! BE A GUEST! | |||
| 55. Preparing for Back to School | 19 Aug 2024 | 00:13:19 | |
Back to school is upon us! If you have a stage 5 clinger like I do, this can be a hard moment for both them and you. This morning I had to fight back some tears as well and put on a sturdy face so I could support my son on his first day in a new school and new grade. In this episode I share how to help your children feel more safety inside during this transition. I also share a few rituals that have helped me in the past and ways to stay grounded as the parent. I wish you all the best of luck as we all head back to school! FREE GUIDES! 4 steps to get you through your kid's meltdown without snapping! Do you find yourself yelling more often than you want? Does it feel like yelling is the ONLY way to get through to your kids? But it makes you feel awful? You absolutely need my Free Guide To Stop Yelling: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/yelling This guide will walk you through the process of staying regulated and give you tools to use during high stress moments. COMMUNITY! Join Today! Enter the code PODCAST for $10 off your first month! BE A GUEST! | |||
| 46. How to Thrive Even With Power Struggles | 17 Jun 2024 | 00:12:16 | |
In this episode, I give you a framework to follow when you find yourself stuck in a power struggle with your kids. This isn't a rigid script to follow, rather a framework to assist you in some of the most frustrating moments in parenting. When our wants collide with our child's wants - we end up feeling resistance. WE understand that feeling and we might have some coping strategies, but more often than not we feel like we have to justify, explain or force our way to end it. I think what often happens is we go to extremes. We either give into their resistance or we go hard and power over to get what needs to get done, done. One of the smartest things we can do as parents is just to drop our side of the power struggle. That means we just don't take the bait and jump into the boxing ring with our kids. 1: Drop our side of the power struggle 2: Focus on our nervous system: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.responseableparenting.com/podcast/ep-44-what-are-grounding-techniques&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1718637147858375&usg=AOvVaw21L8fsF9X2VC2lUAQi9rqF 3: Make a statement 4: Give them a choice When we follow this framework everyone wins. We hold our boundary, what needs to happen gets done, our child feels validated and seen and they have a bit of control of how it looks (even if it's not their ideal version). FREE GUIDES! Do you find yourself yelling more often than you want? Does it feel like yelling is the ONLY way to get through to your kids? But it makes you feel awful? You absolutely need my Free Guide To Stop Yelling: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/yelling. This guide will walk you through the process of staying regulated and give you tools to use during high stress moments. COMMUNITY! BE A GUEST! | |||
| 45. High achievers | 10 Jun 2024 | 00:15:20 | |
I'm the assistant coach on my son's little league team this season. And I'm noticing the proclivity of parents (myself included at times) to demand excellence. I link this back to when I was young and noticed that my brother's naturally high achieving abilities never got lectured. But I was lectured ALLLL the time. So I started achieving more, and more, and more and yet the lectures never stopped. I was chronically stressed out about my performance. I linked achievement to connection and hoped that with enough I'd be free of the lectures. I ultimately transferred this chaotic energy into eating disorders, workaholism, perfectionism and a lot of self criticism. This baseball season has been a great learning moment for me because it's allowed me to remember this pressure and reframe what I'm encouraging and what I'm letting go of. FREE GUIDES! Do you find yourself yelling more often than you want? Does it feel like yelling is the ONLY way to get through to your kids? But it makes you feel awful? You absolutely need my Free Guide To Stop Yelling This guide will walk you through the process of staying regulated and give you tools to use during high stress moments. COMMUNITY! BE A GUEST! | |||
| 44. What Are Grounding Techniques? | 03 Jun 2024 | 00:16:01 | |
I am really excited about this episode! I share a brief overview of the nervous system and why we feel the way we feel in triggering moments. I also break down how to start reading your body's cues so you can utilize grounding tools to regulate your nervous system and show up the way you want vs. reacting from a dysregulated state. You'll get several practical in the moment strategies to use to calm down, even just a tiny bit. Regulation doesn't equal calm, regulation is being able to access these tools and choose your response even when you're flooded with emotions. For this week I'm opening up my community group! You can tap into even more nervous system regulation techniques and take the workshop co-hosted by Nervous System Expert Tanicia Baynes! Don't forget to use the code PODCAST to get $10 off your first month!
| |||
| 43. "You're mean!" | 27 May 2024 | 00:12:49 | |
My son's new favorite phrase "You're mean!!" Part of me wants to prove that they are right! But deep down I know that is not a connective response. In this episode I'm talking about the reactions that happen from our kids after we set a boundary. More often than not, they are going to negotiate to get that boundary to change - and when it doesn't they're going to react from a defensive state. I offer a perspective shift for those moments when our kid's words cut a bit and press on old wounds. I offer a perspective that you can hold onto so that you can stay grounded and on the path of responsive parenting. In this episode I break down holding a boundary and being able to manage the waves of emotions from your children that are bound to happen as a result. I share how you can hold a boundary AND hold their feelings at the same time. FREE GUIDES! Do you find yourself yelling more often than you want? Does it feel like yelling is the ONLY way to get through to your kids? But it makes you feel awful? You absolutely need my Free Guide To Stop Yelling This guide will walk you through the process of staying regulated and give you tools to use during high stress moments. COMMUNITY! BE A GUEST!
| |||
| 42. Are we just teaching our kids how to be adults? | 20 May 2024 | 00:11:08 | |
Glennon Doyle: "We are not being taught how to human, we are being taught how to adult." In this episode I unpack a passing quote that I heard on the podcast We Can Do Hard Things. It was said in a flash and they moved on but it stuck with me on my whole walk so I wanted to dive further into this concept of learning how to be human vs. learning how to be an adult. I explore how feeling is an essential part of the human experience. And how we as conscious, emotionally mature, responsive parents are trying to open ourselves up to embrace this and encourage this growth and development within our children. And at the same time come up against our own programming, expectations and fears that limit our scope of what should be allowed. FREE GUIDES! Do you find yourself yelling more often than you want? Does it feel like yelling is the ONLY way to get through to your kids? But it makes you feel awful? You absolutely need my Free Guide To Stop Yelling This guide will walk you through the process of staying regulated and give you tools to use during high stress moments. COMMUNITY! BE A GUEST!
| |||
| 41. Where does Mom guilt come from? | 13 May 2024 | 00:13:44 | |
95% of moms feel guilty. And only 19% of dad's say they feel guilty about parenting. This episode shines a light on a few reasons why moms tend to feel more guilty than dads. Guilt can be helpful when we have acted outside of our value system. Guilt is not helpful when we believe that we are bad because of our actions. When guilt begins to shape the way we look at ourselves and becomes a leading force in our identity then guilt is without a doubt unhelpful. We have been conditioned as women especially as mothers as to how we SHOULD act. And "should" lives next to shame. And when we don't operate exactly in that vision that is cast for us by society then we can feel judged, shame and guilty for not living up to the unrealistic expectations that have been presented to us. As mentioned here is the Guilt Free Mini Course For $7 you will get 7 videos and journal prompts to begin your journey of removing guilt from your life and parenting! | |||
| 40. Understanding drives respect | 06 May 2024 | 00:11:15 | |
In this episode I break down something Sasha (from the interview in episode 37) said about why he respected his parents so much. And it came down to the fact that they spent so much time seeking to understand what was going on for him. They didn't come to the table with assumptions and past stories clouding their judgment of the present moment. Instead, they led with curiosity and really tried to understand what was going on for him in each challenging moment. This type of parenting modeled to him what respect looked like. And monkey see monkey do - he now respects his parents ENDLESSLY!
I cannot wait to hear your thoughts! FREE GUIDES! Do you find yourself yelling more often than you want? Does it feel like yelling is the ONLY way to get through to your kids? But it makes you feel awful? You absolutely need my Free Guide To Stop Yelling This guide will walk you through the process of staying regulated and give you tools to use during high stress moments. COMMUNITY! BE A GUEST! For the show notes: MELTDOWN FREEBIE! | |||
| 39. 4 buckets to fill in Ourselves | 29 Apr 2024 | 00:13:06 | |
In this episode I take the lessons we learned in episode 34 about how to engage our children differently so they are more ready, willing and able to collaborate with us, and I share how we as parents need to have these essential buckets filled as well. I dive into the 4 buckets: I share how we as parents can shift our mindset even if we cannot shift the structure of our days. I share how we can tune in and really show up for ourselves in a way that leads to more inner safety, less inner chaos and critique, which ultimately expands our tolerance. And when we have this expansion we can ultimately handle a lot more from our children. When we attune to these 4 buckets regularly for ourselves we begin to embody this practice of responsive parenting. FREE GUIDE! COMMUNITY! Every month I will host LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. Join today and get a 7 day free trial at sign up! BE A GUEST!
| |||
| 38. It Feels Like I am Taking 2 Steps Backwards | 22 Apr 2024 | 00:16:01 | |
In this episode I share about how this journey in responsive parenting isn't linear. And what it feels like when we take 2 steps back. I talk about what happens when we parent from fear and how we can compassionately bring ourselves back to the path we have chosen to walk on. I talk about how to shift your mentality and give yourself grace as you grow into the parent you desire to be. FREE GUIDE! COMMUNITY! Every month I will host LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. Join today and get a 7 day free trial at sign up! BE A GUEST! For the show notes: MELTDOWN FREEBIE!
| |||
| 37. Case Study: How Responsive Parenting raises incredible teens! | 15 Apr 2024 | 00:37:00 | |
In this episode I interview a mother and son (almost 15 years old) about creating and growing up in a home that is focused on connection, understanding, curiosity and at the core unconditional love. From 6 months - 7 years old Sasha displayed "problematic behaviors" and was kicked out of almost every class, party and activity. He was labeled "weird" and "bad" by friends and some teachers. Today Sasha is one of the most emotionally intelligent kids I've met. He is kind, generous, a critical thinker, self aware and confident in his choices and personhood. Sasha has a beautiful outlook on life and relationships. Sasha is a truly beautiful example of a grounded maturity that comes from being allowed to experience the entire range of human emotions and experiences. Sari (Sasha's mom) met him with curiosity, compassion, firm boundaries and a lot of empathy. She looked beneath the behavior and found out what was actually happening vs assuming she knew how to fix what was going on. I am so thrilled for you all to listen to this. I know you will take a deep breath hearing her words. Enjoy :) FREE GUIDE! COMMUNITY! Every month I will host LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. Join today and get a 7 day free trial at sign up! BE A GUEST! | |||
| 54. Cling to what you know? Or Grow… | 12 Aug 2024 | 00:10:51 | |
In this episode I piggyback off of Episode 47 which talks about our low self worth loops as parents. This episode talks about that inner feeling, that inner knowing that you have to shed an old belief system in order to truly step into the parent that you want to be. FREE GUIDES! 4 steps to get you through your kid's meltdown without snapping! Do you find yourself yelling more often than you want? Does it feel like yelling is the ONLY way to get through to your kids? But it makes you feel awful? You absolutely need my Free Guide To Stop Yelling: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/yelling This guide will walk you through the process of staying regulated and give you tools to use during high stress moments. COMMUNITY! https://responseableparenting.ck.page/community BE A GUEST!
| |||
| 36. Does "Feeling your feelings" Raise Brats? | 08 Apr 2024 | 00:20:13 | |
In this episode, I break down a comment from someone on social media who said to me "Oh, you're raising one of 'those'" in response to a reel I made on feelings. It made me think of how so many people are being triggered by the word "feelings" and so with all the triggering things, I wanted to dive in more!! I talk about WHY feeling your feelings is essential to raising resilient adults who are emotionally stable in conflict or high pressure situations. And I go on to share further about two very critical steps that are often overlooked. When these are overlooked the pendulum swings way too far and we end up with permissive parenting and kids running the show. I share a wash, rinse, repeat cycle that you can implement today in order to start raising strong, resilient, emotionally stable children. FREE GUIDE! COMMUNITY! Every month I will host LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment-free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. Join today and get a 7 day free trial at sign up! BE A GUEST! | |||
| 35. What is "ResponseABLE Parenting?" | 01 Apr 2024 | 00:12:11 | |
In this episode, I share how I came to the name ResponseABLE and why it resonated with me so much that I decided to build my whole business around it. When I look at the word "responsible" it's about being accountable and reliable but also taking ownership and control of our actions. And when I took that a step further, it's being able to CHOOSE how we show up and participate in these moments. We are ABLE as parents to choose how we show up. We are able to choose our responses. We might be actively breaking cycles and healing, but through the practices of being a RESPONSIVE parent, we are honoring where we want to go while taking accountability for our role, our choices and showing up in a way that feels more in line with the values that matter to us. FREE GUIDE! COMMUNITY! Every month I will host LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. Join today and get a 7 day free trial at sign up! BE A GUEST!
| |||
| 34. The 4 Buckets to Fill Regularly! | 25 Mar 2024 | 00:16:09 | |
In this episode I talk about the 4 central buckets we need to be filling as a parent to maximize our child's readiness and abilities to comply with our requests without having to use force or coercive tactics to get them to do it. I break down in detail these four buckets and give you examples on how to use them.
This is truly a game changing episode and I can't wait to hear how you utilize the lessons! FREE GUIDE! COMMUNITY! Every month I will host LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. Join today and get a 7 day free trial at sign up! BE A GUEST! | |||
| 33. Our parenting is only as sturdy as our nervous system - Interview with Tanicia Baynes | 18 Mar 2024 | 00:49:37 | |
I am BEYOND excited for this conversation! I had the pleasure of speaking with Tanicia Baynes. She is a nervous system regulation expert, mom to identical twin 8-year olds and the woman behind the curtain of The Rooted Experience. In this episode we talk about what the nervous system is, how it informs our parenting reactions and responses and practical strategies you can start using today to help you through moments of dysregulation. This is one you do NOT want to miss! AND A BONUS!!!! Wednesday 3/20 within The ResponseABLE Parenting community group, Tanicia is going even further and breaking down common triggering parenting moments and giving us actionable regulation practices to use IN the moment and AFTER to replenish your nervous system. Tanicia has created a pdf for you with 10 nervous system practices to utalize in parenting. You can grab that here! Access my community here! FREE GUIDE! COMMUNITY! Every month I will host LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. Join Today! BE A GUEST! | |||
| 32. Is Respect Just a Performance? | 11 Mar 2024 | 00:12:18 | |
We're talking about respect again! In this episode I give you a totally new way to look at the word. I believe that the demand for respect is just demanding our children limit the range of emotions and expressions in certain situations and around certain people. We are not teaching them a future beneficial skill when we simply demand "respect." We are simply teaching them that when a person is older, in a position of authority or power, you need to present yourself smaller, less than, etc in order to keep the balance of power in check. But if we flip this whole thing on its head, we can start to actually teach skills from our values and we serve our relationship in a much more efficient and connected way. FREE GUIDE! COMMUNITY! Every month I will host LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. Head to www.responseableparenting.com to join today! BE A GUEST!
| |||
| 31. Why is NO So Triggering? | 04 Mar 2024 | 00:19:13 | |
There is something about the word "no" that lights up our nervous system and sets us off! And when we are set off and operating from our reactive center, our emotional center, the part of ourselves that relies on learned coping behaviors, we are entering into a power struggle and we've lost the chance to teach a skill. I'm always looking for moments to be more efficient in my parenting. Places where I can heal a bit of myself and impart a skill. In this episode I break down ways to look at the word "no" differently. I offer you mindset shifts and ways to teach this very essential communication skill to your children. FREE GUIDE! COMMUNITY! Every month I will host LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. Head to www.responseableparenting.com to join today! BE A GUEST!
| |||
| 30. Owning Our Part | 26 Feb 2024 | 00:13:19 | |
One of the most amazing ways to teach our children respect is to own our part of the conflict. Owning it and leaving it. Without expectation of a specific response in return or our children coming around and owning their part as well. In this episode I talk about how frustrating moments with our children can make us want to prove our side, justify our reaction, etc. And how easy it is to blame our children for our reaction. "If you hadn't done this, I wouldn't do that…" But at the heart of this, we need to model healthy conflict AND healthy conflict resolution. Owning our part is such a critical step in the repair process and will do so much to teach respect and healthy boundaries. FREE GUIDE! COMMUNITY! Every month I will host LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. Head to www.responseableparenting.com to join today! BE A GUEST!
| |||
| 29. You Need To Teach Your Child Respect | 19 Feb 2024 | 00:12:30 | |
I am SO excited about this episode. Today we are diving into the topic of RESPECT! I get told a lot on social media that I'm not teaching my children respect. But when I dig further with these comments, they always boil down to compliance, obedience, and blind respect to authority. This episode flips respect on its head. What is respect? How do we teach it? And do we actually deserve it from our kids? FREE GUIDE! COMMUNITY! Every month I will host LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. Head to www.responseableparenting.com to join today! BE A GUEST!
| |||
| 28. Why Is Empathy So Hard? | 12 Feb 2024 | 00:12:40 | |
Empathy is SO hard and it's definitely not our go to parenting tool. But it is a critical step! When we lead with empathy our children begin to trust their sensations, the begin to understand their feelings and they begin to develop a secure sense of Self. Empathy is the pathway to self esteem. When we show our child that they are worthy enough to be listened to, seen, and that we want to understand them, there is no greater gift. We don't have to fix every problem. What will stick with them more, is that we were THERE for them in every problem. Leading with empathy is so uncomfortable and can seem exhausting sometimes. But it's deeply nourishing, soothing and creates a very connected sense of safety between the two of you. And a big announcement! The ResponseABLE Parenting Community Group is now available! You will have daily access to even more parenting strategies. Every month you'll have direct access to me in our LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. | |||
| 27. What Are We Willing To Feel? | 05 Feb 2024 | 00:12:01 | |
In this episode I share my feelings around a quote that truly struck me. I cannot for the life of me remember which podcast I was listening to that shared it but I do remember stopping in my tracks, rewinding and typing it down! Here is the quote: Everything we want in our homes and lives is on the other side of the feelings we think we can't feel. The actual line between where we are and where we want to go is entirely dependent on the feelings we are willing to feel or not in our nervous system. This resonates with me so much and is truly one of the hardest and greatest gifts we can give ourselves. And when we do this for ourselves our children benefit from that growth. And a big announcement! The ResponseABLE Parenting Community Group is now available! You will have daily access to even more parenting strategies. Every month you'll have direct access to me in our LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. | |||
| 53. The Stages of Growth Inside The Community | 05 Aug 2024 | 00:20:55 | |
I am so excited to share this episode with you! I do a deep dive into what my community looks like! I share the 5 stages inside the community and what you could expect from each stage. I share that no matter where you start, there is no shame, no expectations of how fast you grow or how you "perform" inside this community. The community group is my baby :) I have designed this space to give you endless opportunities for growth and support. A place where you can feel seen, feel heard and understood maybe for the first time in your parenting journey. So that you can shed the parts of parenthood that do not serve you and truly step into your path. A path that feels joyful, simple, less triggering, less chaotic, less guilt ridden. The beauty of this community is right now - it's in its infancy. YOU get to shape the content and the direction! YOU share with me what's going on, what you need, where you're frustrated or struggling and I will build the path for you to follow so that you can move through this without as much struggle, pain and confusion. I truly cannot wait to connect with you and take your parenting journey even deeper! FREE GUIDES! 4 steps to get you through your kid's meltdown without snapping! Do you find yourself yelling more often than you want? Does it feel like yelling is the ONLY way to get through to your kids? But it makes you feel awful? You absolutely need my Free Guide To Stop Yelling: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/yelling This guide will walk you through the process of staying regulated and give you tools to use during high stress moments. COMMUNITY! https://responseableparenting.ck.page/community BE A GUEST!
| |||
| 26. The Meltdown Wont STOP! | 29 Jan 2024 | 00:14:25 | |
When you are in the thick of a tantrum it can feel excruciating. And it can feel like it's never going to end. In this episode I share a story of losing my cool with my 3 year old. And how my response totally shifted his body - and not in a good way. I share openly and vulnerability about this moment in time and all of my takeaways from it. Tantrums and meltdowns are one of the hardest parts of parenting. My hope is that this episode and my community group will help support you and fill the reserves that are so depleted. And a big announcement! The ResponseABLE Parenting Community Group is now available! You will have daily access to even more parenting strategies. Every month you'll have direct access to me in our LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. And if you aren't by your computer, don't worry! You can download my app and have all of my parenting advice on the go. Head to www.responseableparenting.com to join today
| |||
| 25. When To Teach A Lesson | 22 Jan 2024 | 00:16:34 | |
In this episode I share a story of trying to teach my son a lesson and how poorly it went! And the reason it went so poorly was because my timing was completely off. I was trying to teach the lesson while he was still dysregulated and so he truly wasn't grasping or hearing a word I was saying. He was internalizing it as shame, being bad and that he wasn't a good kid. I also talk about generational cycles of punishment and how this challenges the narrative to teach the lesson outside of the moment. It's a deeply ingrained parenting pattern that sometimes sends us down a very frustrating path. I also share an amazing technique to solidify these lessons in a connected way. And a big announcement! The ResponseABLE Parenting Community Group is now available! You will have daily access to even more parenting strategies. Every month you'll have direct access to me in our LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. And if you aren't by your computer, don't worry! You can download my app and have all of my parenting advice on the go. Head to www.responseableparenting.com to join today
| |||
| 24. Parenting The Child In Front of You | 15 Jan 2024 | 00:11:28 | |
In this episode I share one of "ah-ha" moments with my son. Once I had this mental reframe I was able to look at him with so much more curiosity and wonder vs. frustration and confusion. It was truly a freeing moment and since then we've been able to enjoy these types of projects so much more together. There is less tension, he has so much more freedom to explore and it really has opened up a whole new way that we interact. I'm excited for you to listen and spend some time this week thinking about how you can look at the child in front of you a bit differently! And a big announcement! The ResponseABLE Parenting Community Group is now available! You will have daily access to even more parenting strategies. Every month you'll have direct access to me in our LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. And if you aren't by your computer, don't worry! You can download my app and have all of my parenting advice on the go. Head to www.responseableparenting.com to join today
| |||
| 23. Parent Teacher Conference Progress! | 08 Jan 2024 | 00:36:37 | |
This one is kind of fun! If you follow me on Instagram you know I did a "live" while recording this podcast as well! So the flow is a bit different and a bit longer because I kept talking as people joined. I discuss what happened at our first parent teacher conference when my older son was only 3 and how that shaped our parenting practices. You'll also hear the stark contrast in teacher feedback from those authoritarian days to now when I am consciously parenting and choosing my responses to him. What a difference! I'm excited for you to have a listen! And a big announcement! The ResponseABLE Parenting Community Group is now available! You will have daily access to even more parenting strategies. Every month you'll have direct access to me in our LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. And if you aren't by your computer, don't worry! You can download my app and have all of my parenting advice on the go. Head to www.responseableparenting.com to join today. | |||
| 22. "Egg Time" - Mommy Hormones | 25 Dec 2023 | 00:09:24 | |
I live in a house with all dudes. And it can be very frustrating when my boys don't understand what's going on for me every month. Our moods, capacity, ability, energy, etc are very much dedicated by our hormones. As a result, sometimes I'm a LOT more fun and have a huge burst of energy to do all the creative projects. And others, I have zero battery, I'm easily triggered and have a much shorter fuse. I wanted my kids to understand at a young age what happens for mommy each month, why, and how to be more supportive around it so there is zero stigma, shame or embarrassment later in life. We are very open about what body parts are, what they do, etc. so teaching my boys about periods will be no different in this house! And a big announcement! The ResponseABLE Parenting Community Group is now available! You will have daily access to even more parenting strategies. Every month you'll have direct access to me in our LIVE Q&A sessions, exclusive monthly workshops, weekly skill building exercises and more! This is truly a space designed to meet you where you are at on your parenting journey. It's a judgment free zone with parents and caregivers who are learning and growing right alongside you. And if you aren't by your computer, don't worry! You can download my app and have all of my parenting advice on the go. Head to www.responseableparenting.com to join today
| |||
| 21. Listener Question - Should I Allow Social Media? | 11 Dec 2023 | 00:10:46 | |
This is such a tricky topic. Most of us were raised in a time without phones in our pockets let alone social media. A lot can come up for us around this topic. We want to make sure we are protecting our children from unwanted bullying, pressures and images. We want to keep their innocence as long as possible. AND we don't want them to be left out, embarrassed, or made fun of for not having access to the same things their friends do. In this episode, I share a few ideas on how to have this discussion with your children. I explore questions to ask so that we have a more neutral approach and come to the table with fewer judgements and more openness so our children feel heard and understood in the process of this decision. Ultimately I cannot answer whether or not your children should or should not be on social. My hope and goal would be for you both to have a more empowered conversation and feel solid in your path forward together. | |||
| 20. Listener Question - How Do We GET Our Children To Do Something | 27 Nov 2023 | 00:18:49 | |
In this episode, we dive into a listener's questions about how to get their son to practice. I talk about how we as parents can "future project" when our kids won't complete the simplest task we are asking them to do and how that projection can distort the way we respond to and treat our children. I share some skills to help gain a better understanding around what is going on for us (childhood beliefs and default patterns) as well as for our children and how to be more compassionate and both feel like our needs are getting met. | |||
| 19. My Messy Morning | 13 Nov 2023 | 00:12:52 | |
I too struggle with chaos. I am an extremely reactive person and hold onto anger and frustration for a long time. It's something I've always done and one of the big reasons I started parent coaching. Without tools, I'm a reactive mess! In this episode, I talk about a recent morning where so many things seemed to go wrong that I was completely drained before the day even began. My morning got messier and messier the more I tried to stay in logic mode. I was stuck in problem-solving mode and in reality, if I had stayed in empathy, the problems of the morning would have likely resolved themselves. In this episode, I share some steps that I took (not executed nearly as well as I wanted) to keep us in connection in spite of the domino effect that was my messy morning. | |||
| 18: How Feng Shui Can Support Your Parenting Interview with Patricia Lohan | 30 Oct 2023 | 00:39:15 | |
In this episode, I get the pleasure of interviewing Feng Shui expert Patricia Lohan. Patricia shares incredible stories of how small shifts in the home transformed her clients' jobs, relationships, and spilled over into their children's lives. Trouble with homework? There's a feng shui answer for that. Siblings fighting, there's a feng shui answer for that too! Patricia shares so many doable ways to start improving the energy of your home and therefore your family! | |||
| 17: Default Parents Aren't Allowed To Be Inconvenient | 16 Oct 2023 | 00:12:38 | |
I'm a little fired up about this topic! Because it's true! Default parents are NOT allowed to be inconvenient. We are in constant service. We are the ones making sure all wants, needs, ambitions, feelings, etc are being tended to, nurtured and cared for and serviced. And when we are off, the whole family is off. Being all things, for all people, at all times is not sustainable. It's exhausting and not right. In this episode, I talk about ways to shake it up a bit and become a little less convenient as the default parent!
| |||
| 52. Consequences vs. Boundaries - How to teach appropriate behavior without punishments | 29 Jul 2024 | 00:20:49 | |
I have said many times that threats, bribes, consequences and punishments don't work very well. And I get A LOT of feedback (nice way to say nasty comments 😉) in my feed about how these are necessary to teach our kids how to be "real world ready." And how else are they going to learn how to act appropriately if they don't have punishments when they act out of turn? This episode addresses just that! I share in this episode how I've been able to remove threats, bribes, punishments and imposed consequences AND how I've been able to teach the lessons, instill the values and teach my kids how to act appropriately without all of that! I share my system of value based boundaries and how our "bubble" gets bigger and smaller based on their abilities to live inside these values. It's a shame-free framework that works so well and I'm excited to share this with you! FREE GUIDES! 4 steps to get you through your kid's meltdown without snapping! Do you find yourself yelling more often than you want? Does it feel like yelling is the ONLY way to get through to your kids? But it makes you feel awful? You absolutely need my Free Guide To Stop Yelling: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/yelling This guide will walk you through the process of staying regulated and give you tools to use during high stress moments. COMMUNITY! BE A GUEST! | |||
| 16: Childhood Beliefs Around "Goodness" | 02 Oct 2023 | 00:11:48 | |
Today we dive deeper into childhood beliefs around being "good" and your "goodness" as a person. I share more stories from my Telluride adventure with my parents and what I've been able to uncover since. From this trip, I've been able to connect the dots between my performative goodness and my real goodness. I have since realized that as a pastor's daughter, it was vital to my dad's appearance and success for his family to be a reflection of his goodness. Growing up in this space, there was a deep understanding or expectation of showing "good" behavior at all times. When we did this, and did it well, we had more validation, and more connection, and it felt like we had more value. So in my brain, the neurons that fired together were "goodness / worthiness," and they became deeply wired. Fast forward to a trip with my parents and my kids. My kids weren't performing to the same level of goodness that was expected of me as a child and so my wiring was going crazy. My value, my worth, my goodness felt in question because my children were not acting in accordance with my childhood expectations. I reacted from that place and did more to preserve the connection to my father, than I did to stay in connection with my son. This is a heartfelt discussion on external validation and I hope it brings light and clarity into areas within you that feel tricky and sticky when you are with your parents and your kids at the same time.
| |||
| 15: How to respectfully teach your children respect | 18 Sep 2023 | 00:08:14 | |
I get a lot of feedback on my Instagram reels about how I am NOT teaching my children to be respectful. While I could debate that, I don't need to waste my energy because I know that's not true AND I know that I'm teaching my kids "respect" but in a different way. I am teaching my kids kindness, empathy, compassion, how to work in a group setting, generosity, and how to make a kind request vs. a demand. I believe respect can only be learned once it is modeled. And the only way it's truly integrated and not a forced behavior is when it's modeled TO your children. So I model respect by simply asking "Is that a request or a demand" when they ask me for something. Instead of shaming them into respect by saying "You're not allowed to talk to me like that!" I calmly say "Hey buddy, was that a request or a demand?" They instantly understand that they've barked an order, and they adjust by adding please, they adopt a different tone, and they ask a complete sentence soaking in "respect." I haven't had to beat the idea of "say your please and thank yous!" into them. They understand it because we practice dozens of times a day on how to make your words land with kindness and generosity vs. demands and orders.
| |||
| 14: Cycle Breaking: What Happens When Your Village Doesn't Approve? | 04 Sep 2023 | 00:15:34 | |
In this episode, I dive into cycle breaking around our families. I share why we are triggered the way that we are and what we can do to maintain our clarity and focus on our goals. I share a story about my very real triggering moment when on vacation with my family and how I was able to get sucked down my subconscious rabbit hole of what "should be." I share a story about how everyday triggers can pop up and how to use those triggers to gift your children a toolbox of skills they will use throughout their lives. Cycle breaking is incredibly difficult. Add on the extra layer of your caregivers weighing in on your actions and it can be overwhelmingly triggering. Here is some context as to why and ways you can dig yourself out. | |||
| 13: Gentle Parenting is Not Just For "Gentle Kids" | 21 Aug 2023 | 00:09:46 | |
This is a fun episode! I share my response to the reels going around Instagram and TikTok that have a video of wild children doing crazy things and the voice says "I'm sorry but gentle parenting is for gentle kids…I've got gangsters." For the record, in most if not all of these videos, the children are doing totally developmentally normal exploration. Anyway! The truth is, that gentle parenting isn't really for the kids at all! It's a comprehensive set of tools to support PARENTS so we are better equipped at handling our adult temper tantrums before putting more of our stuff on our children. And when we can do that we are giving our children an enormous life long gift! We are allowing our children to grow up and develop into adults who are fully seen, heard, understood, validated, valued, and respected. But doing this we are healing wounds of our own as we give our children the gift of self realization and total love and acceptance. This type of parenting isn't just for challenging kids. It's for all kids, and quite frankly all parents. | |||
| 12: Aggressive Kids | 07 Aug 2023 | 00:14:12 | |
In this episode, I discuss our stigma of anger and aggression and how to accept, instead of reject, this totally normal human emotion. It is so easy for us to try to avoid anger, try to correct aggression, and try to move away from this "bad" emotion because it makes us uncomfortable and brings up a good deal of fear and uncertainty. But the irony is that we model anger and aggression and more often than not match our child's aggression with our own. Our intention is to stop the behavior but instead, we are just reinforcing the pattern. In this episode, I share how to match their energy, not their aggression. I share a step-by-step process which will arm you with the script for the next time you experience aggression with your children. | |||
| 11. How Do We Make a Meaningful Repair? | 24 Jul 2023 | 00:17:13 | |
This is one of my favorite episodes! In this episode I talk about how our deeply rooted, traditional belief systems about children's behavior affects our ability to repair when we blow up at them. When we lose our cool on our children, these belief systems allow us to justify our reactions. I share how we can start to dismantle these beliefs and I offer a step by step formula to follow when we rupture the relationship. I believe that our kids are worthy of repair. And the more we model how to apologize and correct our misbehavior the more they will model and learn from that. If we want our children to be the kind of people who apologize and do what's right, then we need to be the leaders and the examples of how to do that at home and with them. | |||
| 10. Windows and Mirrors | 10 Jul 2023 | 00:12:20 | |
In this episode, I share a softer way to explore and explain the similarities and differences our children will notice and experience in the world. I also talk about ways to view our children's behaviors, not as triggering actions that need to be fixed, but rather helpful insights into the areas that still need healing and work within us. When we get too wrapped up in the narrative of "others" we lose the ability to explore and grow and see the human in front of us. I offer insight and advice on how to take those triggers and turn them into meaningful growth for not only you but your connection and relationship with your children. | |||
| 9. Listener Question - How to Manage Disrespectful and Defiant Behavior | 26 Jun 2023 | 00:24:17 | |
In this episode, we explore a listener's question about how to manage their 7-year-old son's disrespectful behavior. We explore themes of defiance and control and I offer suggested scripts and techniques to meet their child's developmental needs. When we as parents are experiencing a lot of defiance and push back from our children this is a clear sign we are running low on connection. I give several examples of how to get your children in the driver's seat of choices to give them some control to flex their growing sense of self and also ways you can build connections so collaboration becomes more frequent. If you relate to this listener and would like to share your stories, please send me a message on social or send me an email. And if you'd like a pressing question answered, don't hesitate to reach out! | |||
| 8. Reconnect With Your Teen Through Curiosity (Interview with Reece Anderson) | 12 Jun 2023 | 00:35:34 | |
In this episode I interview Reece Anderson, founder of We Overcome Anything out of Australia. His 8-week program helps parents get out of their own way in order to support their teens, create more positive connections, lessen conflict, and find more ease in the relationship. Through his own battles of mental health and working in the sector, he realized a large disconnect with teens and parents. The number one thing he's heard from teenagers throughout his work over the past 5 years is that they are not heard by their parents. Reece works with both parents and teenagers to help build connection, curiosity & respect for themselves and each other. In this episode we talk about ways to reconnect with your teenager, how to get curious and engage with them in a way that draws them out vs. sends them away, and some first steps to starting a new relationship with your teen.
Instagram: @overcomeanything_aus Email: reece@reeceanderson.com.au
| |||
| 7. P.O.O.P. | 29 May 2023 | 00:09:56 | |
Sometimes this nervous system regulation "stuff" can feel super unattainable and challenging. In this episode, I share with you a silly acronym I created in my house for my family that helps bring some humor into the equation. P.O.O.P. is the funny way to get back into emotional regulation and back into the driver's seat of parenting. P: Pause O: Observe O: Orient P: Play This is just one more tool in our ever-growing toolbox as parents to model regulation and help our children understand themselves and the world around them.
| |||
| 51. My 2 paths: Reactive or Responsive | 22 Jul 2024 | 00:13:45 | |
I share a vulnerable moment in time for me in this episode. My oldest son and I are not jiving and the frustration is level 10 what seems like most of the day…and most days. I can do all the work in the world and sometimes it's a simple visual that helps me in moments of conflict, chaos and challenge. We often find ourselves facing two paths in parenting. One is so incredibly easy to take because we've been there so so so many times. It's easy because our neural pathways are strong and deep and the pattern has been repeated so many times. But it doesn't feel right and many times we are simply at a crossroads, unsure of how to handle the situation. This episode is about that crossroads. FREE GUIDES! Do you find yourself yelling more often than you want? Does it feel like yelling is the ONLY way to get through to your kids? But it makes you feel awful? You absolutely need my Free Guide To Stop Yelling: https://responseableparenting.ck.page/yelling This guide will walk you through the process of staying regulated and give you tools to use during high stress moments. COMMUNITY! BE A GUEST!
| |||
| 6. Listener Question - How do I Deal with my Son's Picky Eating? | 15 May 2023 | 00:18:33 | |
Challenges around food can be incredibly stressful for parents. Not only do our children NEED food for body and brain development but meals and snacks happen many times a day EVERY SINGLE DAY. Today I am doing a deep dive on picky eating and how we as parents can pivot and adjust our methods to shift the negative narrative about food. I hope this serves all of the parents out there struggling with food. If you relate to this listener and would like to share your stories, please send me a message on social or send me an email. And if you'd like a pressing question answered, don't hesitate to reach out! | |||
| 5. How Do We Become Less Reactionary Towards Our Kids? | 01 May 2023 | 00:13:32 | |
In this episode, I look at how our unmet needs and nervous system dysregulation contributes to how we react to our children. I break down ways to uncover default patterns in your life, how to identify your most important need(s), and how to create a grounding practice to regulate your nervous system. This will help you build your patience reserves in order to have more capacity for your children. You'll hear me discuss the Green, Red, and Blue "Pathways." Here I am referencing the book Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children's Behavioral Challenges by Mona Delahooke, PhD.
| |||
| 4. Parenting in the Wake of Another School Shooting | 17 Apr 2023 | 00:09:59 | |
Every day we drop our children off at school can be a very triggering experience in today's United States. When I recorded this, the latest school shooting had occurred in Nashville, TN leaving 3 children and 3 adults dead. As parents, it can feel as though our hands are tied and we have no choice but to roll the dice every day. In this episode, I talk about ways we can shift the dynamics, and model ways AT HOME to safely discharge anger, frustration, and pent up emotion. I talk about making a radical shift as parents and showing up for our children in such a way that they don't feel so alone. It is our JOB to do the work on ourselves to be better and show up better…if not for ourselves, then for our children
| |||
| 3. Our Kids Are Our Dysregulated Dumping Ground | 03 Apr 2023 | 00:12:56 | |
We all have so much triggering our nervous system daily. It builds and builds until we snap and react. And often that's at our children who were just making a bid for connection. Today I start the conversation about how we can adjust our dysregulation dumping ground away from our children and find a safer more connective way to release this tension. | |||