WHO this podcast is for and HOW it can help you in your Relationships. 

When a brave couple enters my office, after pleasantries, often the first thing that I ask is: 

“How do you folks feel about being here?” 

 A common response I get is: “I can’t believe we are here..” 

There is a sense of shame and failure - “what’s wrong with us??” 

And I totally get it. 

But the truth is: Nothing is wrong with you, in fact, it’s to be expected.

In this episdoe we begin to learn why. 

Feeling stuck in your relationship? Frustrated? It's really not your fault. You are set up. Let me explain..

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Why your achievements will never be enough. A brief meditation on feeling cherished in a place beyond words.

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How trauma responses can hijack our most precious resource - Our conscious mind.

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Attachment science and why women were the first ones consulted in accepting the Torah. 

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How to know if you are vulnerably reaching for your person. 

A clear practice to help you work at this difficult skill.

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Losing yourself in your partner? How to grow beyond codependency.

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How the Sacred element in family life facilitates secure attachment.

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THE essential "built in feature" that all relationships need. 

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We are "meaning making" machines. How meaning making works and how it might be limiting you. 

How "Just Because" is the foundation of secure relating. 

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Are you too close? Too Distant? What is THE mark of a healthy couple?

Learning how to maintain my own identity while co-creating a shared space in which we connect is what healthy couples do. It the ongoing dance of INTERdependence. Learn more about moving toward it in this episode. 

How Mindfulness can help you with healing trauma.

How a Frum Narcissist is Born

5 Minute mindfulness meditation here: https://youtu.be/7WnZisfYMsE

More info here: https://jonkabat-zinn.com

Newlywed couples have not experienced "Shalom Bayis". Marital peace is always earned. In this episode we discuss how.  

Recalling the Jewish journey in the desert and the 2 primary functions of a secure attachment figure.  

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A clear, practical path for moving from "stuck" to empowered.

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Ep. - How I Protect Myself  

A practical way to empower your children to embody core values even when you are not around. 

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The special healing power of couple therapy. How it is similar to and different from individual work. 

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Just bad behavior or is there something more going on here?

"It's not my fault that I get angry..." 

 "I know I don't respond...what else is there for me to do."

Is there any truth to these claims or are they just a failure to take resposibility. 

NOW ON INSTAGRAM! 

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Preparation for Elul - Learn the "2-step" of healthy reflection and growth. 

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Anger is so destructive and SO common in relationships. It's easily misunderstood and therefore hard to work with. Here is a frame that can help.

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How you FRAME your relationship will determine what you experience in it. Here are the 2 most common frames and their different outcomes. 

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Leave your parents out of your marriage. 

Is it even possible? 

To have a conscious relationship, it helps to become aware of the default LENS you bring to relating. WE ALL HAVE ONE! Understanding the relational templates that we formed as a children (in our first relationships with caregivers) is a bold step in creating a healthy interdependent dynamic with our spouse.

Many men find vulnerable emotional expression to be challenging. Many women want their man to be more expressive. Here's a (hidden) reason why its hard and how to make it a bit easier. 

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Enter the Sukah, enter No-thing. Where there is nothing to identify with but essence. And from that comes joy. 

The calling to explore the space where its just you and me. 

Learn the different ways shame shows up and how to bring healing to it. 

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Moving from chaos to calm. 

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Avraham knew about Yishmael's many shortcomings and yet....

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It's hard to stay open. This is why its essential. 

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Parent's role in helping their child develop his best self. Taken from this week's parsha.

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Yitzchak, Yishmael and their caregivers. An attachment lens and what we can learn. 

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Turning down the visual component of the relationship to experience one another more deeply. 

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The entrance fee of a loving relationship is.....PAIN

Part of needing someone is the implicit fear that comes right alongside that need. The fear of our need not being responded to, of rejection and the pain it leads to. This fear generally shows up in 2 ways:

• Fear of abandonment

• Fear of failure

Learn more about how these fears can affect your relationship so you can do something about it.

What are the benefits and drawbacks of labeling our children?(From Parshat Toldot) 

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With one pasuk, the Torah gives us the map for success in the journey of marriage. 

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How to prepare your children for adulthood and independence (Parshat Vayetze) 

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Masculine and Feminine Vulnerability are Different! In this episode we explore some of the ways and why it matters. 

How to respond to your child's misbehaving (Vayishlach) 

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How could the same verb "love" describe both the lowest and loftiest of inclinations? The answer and why the answer is so important in this episode. 

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Intergenerational transmission of trauma happens automatically unless...  (Vayeshev) 

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A template for how to respond to our most challenging situations. 

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Gratitude is superglue for relationships. Still, many of us find it challenging. Here is the deeper reason why and what to do about it. 

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Help your child regulate her experience with the power of perspective (Vayigash) 

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What we can learn about infant attachment from sheep! 

The names Joseph gives his sons, born in the land where he was sent to be a slave, give us an insight into how we naturally respond to trauma and the ultimate goal of healing it. 

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Empathy is a crucial human capacity. Many children struggle with it. Not to worry - it CAN be taught. Here are a few suggestions to get you started. (Shemot) 

The inner, master therapist that can compassionatley heal you and your relationship. 

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Trauma is only fully healed when it is transformed. 

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