Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast Real Talk with Lisa Sonni: Relationships Uncensored
| Titre | Date | Durée | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Why Couples Counseling Backfires With Abusive Partners w/ Dr. Peter Salerno | S2E15 | 16 Dec 2025 | 00:43:42 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! You’re not crazy for thinking therapy would help. You were taught that relationships can be “fixed” if you just try harder, communicate better, or show more empathy. But when you sit beside someone who thrives on blame, chaos, and control, therapy doesn’t heal the relationship, it becomes another weapon used against you. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| He Knew You Wouldn’t See It | How Abusers Exploit Your Brain w/ Dr. Jennifer Freyd | S2E14 | 09 Dec 2025 | 00:38:15 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! You didn’t “miss the signs.” Your brain protected you from them. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| The Mid-Loser Fear: Why I'm More Scared for My Daughter Than My Son | S2E05 | 07 Oct 2025 | 00:40:50 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! Staying up at night over your daughter’s safety is expected. Losing sleep over your son becoming the guy who drains a woman’s light? That’s the fear most moms whisper about. In a culture that platforms the manosphere and calls misogyny “self-improvement,” mothers are raising kids on two very different battlegrounds. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| Stalking and Narcissistic Abuse: Why It’s a Red Flag for Lethal Violence with Lt. Mark Wynn | S2E04 | 30 Sep 2025 | 00:50:16 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! Stalking isn’t love, and it's certainly not devotion. It’s control, entitlement, and fear dressed up as “concern.” Survivors know that sickening feeling of being watched, followed, or “checked on,” only to be told they’re imagining it. But as retired Detective Lieutenant Mark Wynn makes clear: stalking is real, it’s dangerous, and it’s often the red flag that precedes lethal violence. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| Blended Family Chaos: Stepmoms, Biomoms, and the Truth About High-Conflict Co-Parenting | S2E03 | 23 Sep 2025 | 00:52:51 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! Somewhere along the way, society convinced us that the battle lines in blended families are always drawn between “evil stepmom” and “bitter baby mama.” But what if the real chaos is coming from the man in the middle—or from a system that thrives on pitting women against each other? Survivors know that nothing fuels abuse and dysfunction like smoke and mirrors, and blended family dynamics are no exception. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| The Most Addictive Relationship Pattern In The World | S2E02 | 16 Sep 2025 | 00:38:29 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! Dr. Nadine Macaluso, formerly Belfort is a British-born American psychotherapist, author, internet personality, and former model. She was the second wife of the stockbroker and financial criminal Jordan Belfort, to whom she was married from 1991 to 2005. She is a narcissistic abuse and trauma bond expert. Abuse doesn’t always look like shouting, bruises, or threats. Sometimes it looks like the love story everyone else envies—grand gestures, tenderness, and promises of forever. That’s what makes trauma bonds so dangerous: the cycle of cruelty and kindness that keeps you hooked and questioning yourself. Dr. Nadine knows this cycle all too well. She fell hard for someone the world admired, only to discover she was trapped in an addictive pattern of control, fear, and confusion. Together we unpack why victims don’t “just leave,” how coercive control strips away free will, and why the moments that felt like love were part of the manipulation. Resources mentioned: Run Like Hell by Dr. Nadine Macaluso (book) This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| Finding Real Love After an Abusive Relationship | S2E01 | 09 Sep 2025 | 00:38:29 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! After abuse, so many of us wonder if love is even possible again. We tell ourselves we’re too broken, too much, or too “used up". I used to believe that too—until I met Jamie. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| Twisting Scripture The Abuser Who Pretends to Be Godly | Ep. 014 | 19 Aug 2025 | 00:40:01 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! If you've ever been in a relationship with a man who tells you that God hates divorce or weaponizes religion of any kind against you, this episode is for you. And this episode is one that he will not want you to listen to. This week, I sit down with Holly Tidwell, a former pastor who spent 20 years in an abusive marriage while trying to be the perfect submissive Christian wife. Holly shares her powerful story of growing up in Pentecostal culture, attending Liberty University for biblical studies, and becoming a pastor - all while being conditioned to believe that her value was in her virginity and her role was to submit to male authority. After having four children in three years and experiencing the loss of her first daughter, Holly began questioning everything she'd been taught about God, women's roles, and what true love actually looks like. We explore how organized religion creates a breeding ground for abuse by conditioning women to be submissive, childlike, and financially dependent while teaching them that their reward for suffering will come in heaven. Holly explains how scripture gets weaponized - from "wives submit to your husbands" (while conveniently leaving out the part about mutual submission) to being told that women have a "biological duty" to fulfill their husband's sexual needs every 36 hours. We discuss the devastating impact of being taught not to trust your own thoughts and instincts, the financial and spiritual abuse that runs rampant in religious communities, and why domestic violence rates are equally high among Christians and non-Christians. Holly also shares what finally gave her the courage to leave, how she rebuilt her relationship with God outside of organized religion, and what she tells women who feel trapped between their faith and their safety. Resources Mentioned: Brené Brown's "The Gifts of Imperfection": https://a.co/d/f1tNvN0 Connect with Hope With Holly: TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube: @HopeWithHolly Website: https://stan.store/HopeWithHolly This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| Serial Cheating Isn’t a Struggle. It’s a Strategy. | Ep. 013 | 12 Aug 2025 | 00:42:43 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! Cheating doesn't always happen in spite of how much it hurts you. Sometimes it happens because it hurts you - because that's the exact reason they want you to feel that pain, to feel less than. But the psychology behind serial cheating is more complex than we might think, and understanding it can help us make better decisions about our relationships and our own healing. This week, I sit down with Dr. Kate Balestrieri, a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist, to explore the real motivations behind serial cheating. We dive deep into the concept of "eroticized rage" and how cheaters use infidelity to restore power, seek revenge, transgress social norms, or possess what feels out of reach. Kate explains why the common narrative of "unmet sexual needs" is actually bullshit - men don't have a biological need for sex, and cheating is rarely about the betrayed partner at all. We discuss the difference between compulsive sexual behavior and coercive control, why some people weaponize the "sex addiction" label, and how patriarchal conditioning creates sexual entitlement in relationships. Kate also shares insights on why saying "just leave" isn't always realistic and how to assess whether a relationship involving infidelity is worth trying to repair. Throughout our conversation, we emphasize that no one is entitled to sex from another person, and that healing from betrayal requires individual work - not couples therapy. Resources Mentioned: Dr. Kate Balestrieri's book: "What Happened to My Sex Life? A Sex Therapist's Guide to Reclaiming Lost Desire, Connection and Pleasure": https://a.co/d/7Cj0iCb "Isn't Sex My Right?" webinar featuring Dr. Kate Balestrieri https://strongerthanbefore.podia.com/isn-t-sex-my-right-why-sexual-coercion-is-abuse-webinar-replay Connect with Dr. Kate Balestrieri: Website: https://www.modernintimacy.com/ Social Media: @drkatebalestrieri This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| The Best Selling Relationship Book That Taught Him To Abuse Me | Episode 012 | 05 Aug 2025 | 00:40:38 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! The Five Love Languages seems like such a helpful relationship tool - until it's weaponized by an abusive partner. I brought this popular book into my own abusive relationship hoping it would help us communicate better, only to watch it become a tool for coercion and manipulation against me. This week, I sit down with sexual coercion expert Nat LaJune to unpack the deeply problematic nature of Gary Chapman's bestselling book. We explore how "physical touch" as a love language is almost always weaponized by abusive men, the patriarchal origins of the book itself, and why the entire framework can enable manipulation in relationships. Nat shares insights from her years of content creation on marital coercion, including the common tactics abusers use and why simply saying "just say no" isn't realistic for women in coercive relationships. We discuss the transactional nature that develops when love languages are weaponized, how any of the five categories can become coercive tools, and the importance of focusing on what you give rather than what you receive. Our conversation also touches on the psychology behind men who feel entitled to sex, the role Christianity plays in enabling sexual coercion, and signs that your relationship may involve coercion you haven't recognized yet. Resources Mentioned: "27 Love Languages" piece by Nat LaJune Connect with Nat LaJune: Find Nat on social media: @alwaysmending and @natlajune https://www.alwaysmending.com/ This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| It’s Not That He Doesn’t Know It’s That He Doesn’t Care.. | Ep. 011 | 29 Jul 2025 | 00:39:45 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! There's a kind of abuse happening in relationships that doesn't involve broken dishes or broken bones, but it's just as damaging. It's the slow destruction of your sense of self through weaponized incompetence, emotional labor dumping, and the constant message that you should just accept less because "that's how men are." This week, I sit down with Abby Eckel, online content creator known for challenging gender norms and traditional relationship stereotypes. They dive deep into how we're conditioned from childhood to normalize harmful relationship dynamics - from the "boys will be boys" mentality to the expectation that women should just pick up the slack when men refuse to participate in the lives they asked for. Abby shares her insights on the difference between men who genuinely don't understand versus those using weaponized incompetence, why Fair Play doesn't work for most couples, and the reality that you cannot make someone care about your wellbeing. We also discuss the privilege of being able to "just leave" and what women can do when leaving isn't immediately possible. Resources Mentioned: "She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink" article Follow Abby Eckel on Instagram This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| Why You Believed His Lies: The Psychology of Manipulation and Abuse | Ep 010 | 22 Jul 2025 | 00:49:39 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! Somebody can look you dead in the eye, say everything that you've been dying to hear, and they can still be lying to you. The science behind deception in abusive relationships reveals how manipulators weaponize psychology to systematically break down their victims. This is the podcast they don’t want you listening to. This week, I'm joined by Dr. Abbie Maroño, a behavioral expert with a PhD in psychology who trains the Secret Service and FBI on deception, body language, and influence. We explore the disturbing world of psychological manipulation and how abusers use sophisticated tactics to deceive their victims. Dr. Abbey breaks down the neuroscience behind why we fall for manipulation, explaining how it's not about intelligence but about being human in a world where predators understand psychology. We discuss how abusers systematically strip away your sense of self to gain control, the difference between everyday cognitive dissonance and traumatic cognitive dissonance, and why "love bombing" and intermittent reinforcement create biological addiction. Dr. Abbie reveals how false vulnerability is weaponized to fast-track intimacy and trust, why we rationalize abusive behavior, and the concerning trend of men's dating coaches teaching these same manipulation tactics. She emphasizes that manipulators don't need to be "book smart" - they learn through experience and lack of empathy, exploiting the brain's shortcuts to appear trustworthy. We also dive into her experience training law enforcement and the shocking lack of trauma-informed training in the criminal justice system, highlighting why taking time in relationships is crucial for spotting deception. Connect with Dr. Abbie on Instagram here: @doctorabbieofficial Ger her book, The Upper Hand This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| Can Narcissists Really Change? w/ Dr. Elinor Greenberg | S2E13 | 02 Dec 2025 | 00:36:02 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! You can’t love a narcissist hard enough to make them change. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| If My Own Children Can't Forgive Me, How Dare I Forgive Myself? | Episode 009 | 15 Jul 2025 | 00:36:12 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! The hardest truth about parental accountability isn't admitting you were wrong- it's living with the consequences when your own children can't trust you enough to let you back in. This is the podcast your toxic Mom doesn't want you to listen to. This week, I sit down with Crystal Allon, a mother, content creator, and recovering alcoholic who is estranged from two of her adult children. Together, we explore what real accountability looks like when your kids go no contact, not the defensive "I did my best" narrative, but the raw, honest reckoning with how your own unhealed trauma created an emotionally unsafe environment for the people you love most. Crystal shares her journey from active addiction and emotional dysregulation to recognizing the painful truth: her children felt about her the way she felt about her own toxic mother. She breaks down the "playpen analogy" that's helping other estranged parents understand boundaries, why "you can't outwit trauma, you either heal it or pass it down," and the difference between taking responsibility and playing victim. This episode will validate adult children who are tired of being told they're "too sensitive" for protecting themselves, and challenge parents to look beyond their own pain to see the damage they've caused. Guest Crystal Allon, Content Creator and Recovery Advocate Follow her on TikTok here. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| His Voice Sounded Familiar — Because It Was | Ep. 008 | 08 Jul 2025 | 00:37:12 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! The voice of your abuser doesn't just sound familiar—it echoes the voices that shaped you long before you ever met them. This week, I sit down with Trauma Therapist, Logan Cooper, to explore the 7 most common childhood environments that unknowingly program us to accept abuse later in life. Together, we break down how emotionally invalidating homes, conditional love, narcissistic parenting, authoritarian control, chaotic households, family secrets, and enmeshment create the perfect storm for trauma bond vulnerability. Logan shares her expertise on how these early experiences teach us to distrust our own reality, chase unavailable love, and mistake chaos for connection. This episode will help you recognize the specific patterns from your past that may be influencing your present relationships and give you the clarity needed to finally break free from toxic cycles. Resources Mentioned: Emotionally Bulletproof Kids: How To Raise Strong & Confident Kids Amongst Chaos Guest: Logan Cooper, Trauma Therapist (@crookedcounselorcooper) https://www.tiktok.com/@crookedcounselorcooper?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc logancoopercounseling@gmail.com This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| Male Fragility: Why Accountability Feels Like an Attack | Ep. 007 | 01 Jul 2025 | 00:40:41 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! Male fragility isn't weakness - it's emotional inflexibility that becomes a weapon to avoid accountability. When men explode over basic feedback, it's not about your tone or timing. This week, I'm joined by anti-misogyny educator Brent MacLerie to unpack why so many men interpret accountability as an attack. We dive into the "honesty trap" that keeps women walking on eggshells, explore how fragility becomes a control tactic, and discuss the historical roots of male entitlement in relationships. Brent shares his insights on distinguishing between genuine emotional immaturity and weaponized fragility, plus the one key indicator that shows whether a man is capable of real change. Resources Mentioned: Lundy Bancroft’s checklist https://lundybancroft.com/articles/checklist-for-assessing-change-in-men-who-abuse-women/ Connect with Brent MacLerie: YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@ex.patriarch and on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@expatriarch?lang=en This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| You Can't Love Him Into Healing | Why Women Stay With Abusive Men | Ep. 006 | 24 Jun 2025 | 00:39:35 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! This episode is going to hit different. I'm joined by therapist and domestic violence survivor Aishia Grevenberg to destroy the most dangerous myth keeping women trapped: that your love can heal an abusive man. What You'll Learn: • Why high-functioning, successful women become targets for abusive men • The childhood conditioning that teaches us to "perform" for love • How abusers weaponize therapy and self-improvement narratives to keep you hooked • Why individual therapy doesn't work for abusers (it's not a communication problem - it's a control problem) • The exact moments we both realized we had to leave Key Takeaways: Abuse is a choice, not a reaction to your behavior The desire to "fix" him comes from being conditioned to earn love through compliance Self-love isn't bath bombs - it's protecting yourself and refusing to tolerate harm No amount of love can stop someone from choosing to be abusive This conversation gets real about the psychological traps that keep us stuck - not just the financial ones. If you've ever thought "if I just love him enough" or "once his stress goes away, he'll change," this episode will shatter those illusions and help you see the truth. Guest: Aishia Grevenberg - Therapist and domestic violence survivor who knows firsthand the duality of advocating against abuse publicly while enduring it privately. Connect with Aisha Follow her on TikTok This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| Why Therapy Can't Fix Abusive Men | The Truth About Misogyny vs Mental Health | Ep. 005 | 17 Jun 2025 | 00:24:26 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! This episode is going to challenge everything you've been told about abusive men and why they do what they do. We're ditching the "he's just hurt" narrative and getting real about what's actually happening here. What You'll Learn: • Why therapy can't fix what isn't actually broken (spoiler: it's working exactly as designed) • The difference between trauma responses and entitlement • How seven systems work together to normalize abuse and make you question your reality • Why asking "why won't he change?" is the wrong question entirely • The truth about how you were groomed to abandon yourself Key Takeaways: His behavior isn't about his childhood trauma - it's about a belief system that says he's entitled to your compliance. Individual and couples therapy won’t make him get better. The systems protecting him aren't broken; they're working perfectly. You weren't overreacting - you were adapting to survive in a culture designed to keep you small. Understanding this isn't about blame; it's about clarity and your freedom This one's heavy but necessary. If you've ever wondered why he seemed so aware of his impact but kept doing it anyway, or why everyone around you kept making excuses for his behavior, this episode will give you the clarity you've been searching for. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| You're Not Confused — You're Being Manipulated | Ep. 004 | 10 Jun 2025 | 00:34:15 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! In this explosive episode, Lisa and Dr. Peter Salerno drop a truth bomb that will change how you see manipulation forever. They dive deep into the uncomfortable reality that abusers manipulate on purpose, exploring whether manipulators need to be "smart" or just strategic, the real reasons behind their behavior, and why being manipulated leaves you feeling so confused and traumatized. This is a must-listen episode that will validate your experiences and help you see the truth clearly. Key Topics Covered: • The shocking truth: Abusers manipulate intentionally, not accidentally • Intelligence vs. strategy - what it really takes to be a manipulator • The psychology behind why abusers choose to manipulate • Why manipulation creates such deep confusion and trauma • How to recognize when you're being deliberately confused • Breaking free from the "maybe they don't know what they're doing" mindset Resources Mentioned: • Trauma Bond Recovery Group Coaching Program • Unbreakable and Irreplaceable: Rebuilding After The Trauma Bond • "The Nature and Nurture of Narcissism" by Dr. Peter Salerno • "Traumatic Cognitive Dissonance" by Dr. Peter Salerno About Dr. Peter Salerno: Dr. Peter Salerno is a licensed therapist with a PsyD and MS in Clinical Psychology. He specializes in personality disorders and trauma, with extensive training in these areas. He's the author of two groundbreaking books on narcissism and trauma. Follow him on Instagram This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| Why Trauma Bonds Feel Like Love But Destroy You | Ep. 003 | 03 Jun 2025 | 00:24:43 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! In this raw and vulnerable episode, Lisa opens up about the confusing reality of trauma bonds - why they feel so much like love when they're actually destroying us from the inside out. What You'll Learn: • The brain chemistry behind trauma bonds and why they're so addictive • How trauma bonds mimic the feeling of "true love" • Personal stories that reveal the desperation and confusion trauma bonds create • Why your body craves what's hurting you • The difference between genuine love and trauma bonding Key Takeaways: Trauma bonds hijack your brain's reward system The push-pull dynamic creates an addiction-like response Understanding the science helps you break free from self-blame Your feelings are valid, but they're not telling you the truth about love This episode gets real about the internal battle so many face: "But it feels like love, so how can it be bad for me?" If you've ever felt confused about why you can't let go of someone who hurts you, this episode is for you. Resources Mentioned: The Trauma Bond Recovery Course using my proven Break & Rebuild Method: https://strongerthanbefore.ca/trauma-bond-recovery/ This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| The More They Reject You, The Harder You Try | Why We Chase Love That Hurts | Ep. 002 | 27 May 2025 | 00:29:04 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! When love feels like a battle you're desperate to win, something deeper is happening. In this vulnerable episode, I share my personal story of staying in a 5-year relationship with a professional football player who was cheating with multiple women—while I remained in denial, searching for "proof" I already had. I dive into why we chase people who reject us, why we work overtime to convince someone to love us, and the childhood wounds that program us to equate love with struggle. I'm talking about:
If you've ever found yourself trying harder the more someone pulls away, this episode will help you understand why—and how to break free. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| The Podcast They Don't Want You Listening To | Ep. 001 | 20 May 2025 | 00:23:54 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! This Is the Podcast They Don’t Want You Listening To You weren’t too sensitive. You weren’t overreacting. In this first episode of Real Talk with Lisa Sonni: Relationships Uncensored, I’m naming what they tried to make you doubt. If you’ve ever missed someone who hurt you, wondered why it didn’t feel like freedom when you finally left, or asked yourself, “Why do I still care?” — this is for you. I’m talking about:
I don’t hold back. And I won’t start now. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| The Secret Weapon Every Abusive Man Uses w/ Dr. Christine Cocchiola | S2E12 | 25 Nov 2025 | 00:42:01 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! Control doesn’t always look like control. Sometimes it looks like care, protection, or “respect.” That’s what makes coercive control the most dangerous form of abuse because it hides in plain sight. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| What Divorce Lawyers Know That Therapists Don’t w/ Justin Lee | S2E11 | 18 Nov 2025 | 00:52:02 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! Therapists hear what people say in marriage. Divorce lawyers see what people do when it ends. And what they see tells the truth about power, control, and the quiet games that keep women stuck in “high-conflict” divorces. Lisa sits down with family lawyer and content creator Justin Lee to expose the patterns behind the myth that “women ruin men in divorce.” They unpack how abusers weaponize the court system — dragging out cases, withholding money, and using children as pawns — while claiming victimhood online. Justin breaks down what really happens behind the scenes: why women file after years of trying, how financial control becomes legal abuse, and why the system isn’t rigged for women, but against fairness itself. This conversation is a masterclass in seeing through the “crazy ex-wife” narrative and a reminder that justice may take time, but your peace is worth fighting for. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| Why Gender Does Matter in Abuse Conversations w/ Rebecca Pacheco | S2E10 | 11 Nov 2025 | 00:42:08 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! “Abuse isn’t gendered.” This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| When “You Owe Him Sex” Is Abuse w/ Dr. Danielle Kramer | S2E9 | 04 Nov 2025 | 00:42:02 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! If you’ve ever said yes to sex when every part of you wanted to say no, that’s not “being a good partner,” It’s coercion. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| Why You Didn’t Know It Was Abuse with Chelli Pumphrey | S2E8 | 28 Oct 2025 | 00:39:27 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! “If it was really abuse, you would’ve left.” That lie has silenced survivors for decades. The truth? Most women in abusive relationships don’t know it’s abuse, because abusers work hard to make sure they don’t. Lisa sits down with trauma therapist and “Love & Trust Therapist” Chelli Pumphrey to unpack the psychology behind not knowing. They dive into gaslighting, cognitive dissonance, and how abusers weaponize your empathy, optimism, and attachment against you. Chelli also shares her own story — as both a therapist and survivor — revealing how smart, capable women can still get trapped in psychological warfare disguised as love. This conversation will help you truly understand that manipulation is by design. Naming that truth is where your healing begins. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| The World Doesn’t Need Softer Men…It Needs Evolved Ones w/ Nick Matiash | S2E7 | 21 Oct 2025 | 00:50:36 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! We keep telling men to “open up” and “be more emotional,” but that’s not the problem — and it’s definitely not the solution. Real strength isn’t found in suppressing feelings or turning men into girlfriends; it’s found in presence, purpose, and the courage to lead with heart and integrity. Lisa sits down with men’s coach Nick Matiash, founder of The Evolved Man, to dismantle outdated myths about masculinity, fatherhood, and emotional expression. Nick shares how breaking down on his kitchen floor with a newborn at home became the turning point that reshaped his understanding of what real manhood looks like — not fragile, not performative, but grounded. This conversation cuts through culture-war noise and gets to the truth: men aren’t broken, but what they’ve been taught about being a man is. If you’ve ever felt unseen by the men in your life — or wondered why connection feels so hard to build — this one’s for you. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| Narcissistic Abuse Is a Cult: Trauma Bonds, Brainwashing, and Breaking Free with Vanessa Reiser | S2E6 | 14 Oct 2025 | 00:40:19 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! When a relationship feels like oxygen at first and a chokehold later, you’re not “being dramatic”—you’re being indoctrinated. Narcissistic abuse doesn’t look like a one-off bad boyfriend; it mirrors a cult: love-bombing as recruitment, rules that keep shifting, punishment for noncompliance, and a leader who claims to be the only source of truth and love. If you’ve ever wondered why smart, capable people stay, this is why. Lisa sits down with licensed therapist and author Vanessa M. Reiser, LCSW, to map the cult mechanics of narcissistic relationships: idealize–devalue–discard, the Pavlovian reward/punishment loop that forges a trauma bond, and the “double bind” that ensures you’re wrong whether you comply or resist. They dismantle myths (“I’d never fall for that,” “you could have left anytime”) and name what’s really happening—coercive control that erodes free will, isolates you from your reality checks, and keeps you chasing crumbs after a manufactured high. Vanessa shares clear, clinician-backed ways to reclaim yourself: depersonalize the abuse (“it wasn’t about your worth”), rebuild nervous-system safety, and replace the fantasy with facts. You are not weak for being targeted; predators select, condition, and confuse. Clarity is the exit ramp. With language for what happened and community that reflects your reality back to you, you can break the bond and rebuild a self that’s yours again. Resources mentioned • Vanessa M. Reiser, LCSW — therapist & author • Dr. Ramani — educator on narcissistic abuse • Dr. Nadine Macaluso — clinician speaking on trauma bonds This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| Why You Didn’t Know It Was Abuse w/ Chelli Pumphrey | S3E5 | 03 Feb 2026 | 00:43:56 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! “If it was really abuse, you would’ve left.” Psychological abuse is designed to confuse you. In this conversation, Lisa sits down with trauma therapist and survivor Chelli Pumphrey to expose why so many women don’t recognize abuse while they’re in it. Together, they unpack attachment theory, personality “super traits,” and how empathy, loyalty, optimism, and a belief in repair get weaponized against women who would never intentionally harm another person. Chelli shares her own story, even as a trained therapist, and names the shame that comes with realizing you were manipulated anyway. This episode dismantles the myth that abuse only happens to “certain kinds” of women. It explains why secure, capable, emotionally intelligent women are often targeted, and why staying isn’t a failure of strength, but the result of exploitation by design. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “How did I not see it?” - this conversation will finally make it make sense. Here are two helpful resources to support your next steps: 2. She Rises Collective: A trauma informed healing community where women reclaim their voices, rebuild their confidence, and rise together, surrounded by women who truly get it. Co-led by Lisa Sonni and Chelli Pumphrey. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| Men, Accountability, and the Myth That Women Are the Problem with Lex | S3E4 | 27 Jan 2026 | 00:49:18 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! You’re not “too sensitive.” You’re reacting to a system that teaches men entitlement and then calls women dramatic for pushing back. If accountability feels like a constant uphill battle in your relationships, there’s a reason. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| The Truth Behind the “Perfect Marriage” with Sarah White | S3E3 | 20 Jan 2026 | 00:42:26 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! From the outside, it looks like a happy marriage: smiling photos, family dinners, and church events. Inside the house, it is a completely different story. Reach Sarah White Instagram: @echosofherbravery or @sarahjeanettteeeWeb: www.echosofherbravery.com Email: coachsarahwhite@gmail.com This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| He Knows, He Just Doesn’t Care. The Truth About Abuse and “Communication” w Aishia Grevenberg | S3E2 | 13 Jan 2026 | 00:44:49 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! If you have ever thought, “I just need him to understand”, the truth is, he already does. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| The Lies That Keep You Stuck: How Abusers Rewrite Reality Dr. Alan E. Godwin | S3E1 | 06 Jan 2026 | 00:45:22 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! Abusers do not just lie. They build entire realities that feel safer than the truth. Realities where doubt keeps you tethered, confusion feels normal, and leaving feels unthinkable. If you have ever felt like you were trapped inside a story you could not escape, this conversation will land deep. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| He’s Not Immature, He’s Abusive: Why Narcissists Don’t “Grow Out of It” with Dr. Les Carter | S3E08 | 24 Feb 2026 | 00:42:43 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! Most women don’t stay because they’re naïve. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| How Stay-at-Home Wives Get Trapped in Financial & Emotional Abuse with Lisa Carr | S3E7 | 17 Feb 2026 | 00:48:44 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! “Everybody’s a feminist… until a woman chooses to be a tradwife.” This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| Weaponized Incompetence Isn’t an Accident | w/ Laura Danger S3E6 | 10 Feb 2026 | 00:41:17 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! You’re not “bad at asking for help.” You’re exhausted from carrying everything and being told it’s your fault. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| Why Women End Up Doing Everything in Relationships with Terri Cole | S3E10 | 10 Mar 2026 | 00:46:39 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! For years, women have been told they’re codependent. Too attached, too emotional, too responsible for everyone else’s feelings. And a lot of you have worn that label like proof that something is wrong with you. So I brought on Terri Cole, licensed psychotherapist, boundary expert, and the voice behind “high-functioning codependency,” to talk about what this word actually means, how it gets misused, and why it can erase power, context, and safety when we’re talking about emotionally unsafe men. We get into self-abandonment, the auto-yes, the low-grade resentment that never seems to have a clear source, and the way “being the capable one” can turn into a full-time job you never applied for. We also talk about boundaries in real life, what changes when someone is toxic or controlling, and why some women don’t recognize themselves in the classic codependency story even when they’re exhausted, overextended, and carrying everything. Terri also shares the definition she uses, why she coined the term high-functioning codependency, and the small daily shifts that start giving you your life back. Resources she shared: boundaryquiz.com https://www.terricole.com/btc/ This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| How The Manosphere Is Teaching Men to Abuse with Rafael Gomez | S3EP9 | 03 Mar 2026 | 00:50:08 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! The Manosphere isn’t “just podcasts.” It’s a curriculum teaching men how to destabilize, dominate, and call it leadership. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| Toxic vs Abusive Relationships: The Difference Most People Miss with Dr. Marina Rosenthal | S3EP11 | 17 Mar 2026 | 00:45:27 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! Couples therapy is not the place to sort out coercive control. Full stop. But I also get why women end up there anyway, because when your relationship is messy, you’re trying to name what’s happening. Is it stress. Is it trauma. Is it aggression. Is it abuse. And when you’re living inside it, it can all blur. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| Divorcing a Narcissistic or Toxic Partner: What You Need to Know | S3EP12 | 24 Mar 2026 | 00:48:14 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! In this episode of Real Talk with Lisa Sonni: Relationships Uncensored, Lisa speaks with Angela Van, CEO of Family Court Corner, about the realities of divorcing and co-parenting with an abusive or highly destructive partner. Angela shares lessons from her own ten-year custody battle—one that reached the Supreme Court of Canada—and explains how she now helps survivors navigate divorce, custody disputes, and post-separation abuse. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| When Sex Becomes Obligation: Sexual Entitlement in Relationships | S3E13 | 01 Apr 2026 | 00:43:43 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! Sexual entitlement isn’t “a relationship issue.” It’s a belief system. It’s the mindset that your body comes with the marriage, the title, the ring, the label, the contract, the “needs.” It’s the idea that your availability lives on standby, no matter how he treats you, no matter what your body feels, no matter what your nervous system is screaming. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| “These Are Not Facts”: The Lies That Keep Abuse Normalized | S3E14 | 07 Apr 2026 | 00:40:57 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! You were never “too sensitive.” You were surrounded by lies repeated so often they started to feel like truth. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| How Abusive Men Turn Strong Women Into Women Who Stay with Dr. Peter Salerno | S3EP15 | 14 Apr 2026 | 00:44:18 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! You didn’t become someone else overnight. You were shaped into someone who could survive him. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| “It’s Not Confusion” Why Abusive Behavior Feels Unclear (But Isn’t) | S3EP16 | 05 May 2026 | 00:46:31 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! You keep trying to make sense of it. Maybe he didn’t mean it. Maybe you misunderstood. Maybe you’re overthinking. The reality? Confusion is not the problem. It’s the outcome. When someone can hurt you and comfort you in the same breath, your brain tries to reconcile two realities that don’t belong together. He loves you and he harms you. He apologizes and repeats it. That contradiction is what keeps you stuck trying to figure it out. In this “Best Of” Real Talk episode, Lisa pulls together powerful insights from Dr. Peter Salerno, Aishia Grevenberg, Dr. Les Carter, and Brent MacLerie to expose what is actually happening beneath that confusion. They break down how manipulation often hides behind subtle behavior, how entitlement drives repeated harm, and why the idea that “he doesn’t know what he’s doing” keeps you trapped longer. When behavior repeats, especially when it hurts you, that is not confusion. That is information. The clarity you’ve been searching for is not in understanding him better. It’s in seeing the pattern clearly and trusting what it’s already showing you. 🎧 Listen to the full episodes: Dr. Peter Salerno: https://youtu.be/_gKCmT1YazY Aishia Grevenberg: https://youtu.be/-LeQ9ZwtcGY Dr. Les Carter: https://youtu.be/kU5siEWppf8 Brent MacLerie: https://youtu.be/aibF4SAjX_8 This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| If He Acts Like This About Sex, It's Abuse | Best Of Relationships Uncensored | S3E16 | 28 Apr 2026 | 00:41:42 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! "Physical touch is his love language." "If you loved him, you'd just do it." "If you were having more sex with him, maybe he wouldn't cheat." You've heard these. Maybe you've even believed them. These aren't relationship truths. They're the exact language used to override your instincts and make you question what you already know. In this Best Of episode, Lisa brings together the most powerful moments from her conversations with Dr. Danielle Kramer, Dr. Kate Balestrieri, and Nat LaJune, four voices, four perspectives, all pointing to the same truth: sexual entitlement inside a committed relationship is coercion. Coercion is abuse. If your bedroom feels like an obligation instead of a connection, that's not a you problem. When someone believes your body is something they're owed, intimacy doesn't just suffer, it dies. And it's being killed on purpose. Your feelings matter. Your discomfort matters. Your no matters. Links to the full episodes with Dr. Danielle Kramer, Dr. Kate Balestrieri, and Nat LaJune are below. This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| Why Narcissists Explode When You Set Boundaries | Bill Eddy on High Conflict Escalation | S4E1 | 12 May 2026 | 00:45:11 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! You knew it was coming. Maybe not the exact moment, but you felt it building. The tension in the room. The stillness before it broke. Your nervous system clocked it before your brain caught up. That's pattern recognition, and there's a reason these conflicts follow a script. Lisa sits down with Bill Eddy, lawyer, therapist, mediator, and co-founder of the High Conflict Institute, to break down exactly why escalation in high conflict relationships is predictable, what triggers it, and how it plays out differently across three distinct personality patterns. Bill explains why setting a boundary isn't just uncomfortable for these people, it's experienced as a threat that requires a response. He covers how they move from verbal attacks to punishment to recruiting others into the conflict, why they see themselves as the victim even while causing harm, and what survivors consistently get wrong when they're in the middle of it. One of the most important moments in this conversation is a simple reframe: escalation is not proof that you did something wrong. It's proof that the system was challenged. Once you understand that, everything shifts. Resources mentioned:
This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||
| How Abusive Men Make You Think You're the Abuser | Emma Davey | S4E2 | 19 May 2026 | 00:46:45 | |
Send Lisa a question for her to reply in a future episode! If you have ever wondered whether you are the toxic one, the narcissist, the problem…that question is not a coincidence, it was put there on purpose. Lisa sits down with Emma Davey, trauma-informed counsellor and master's candidate in the psychology of coercive and controlling behaviour, to break down exactly how abusive men flip the script. Together they walk through how self-blame gets installed from the very beginning, why the fawn response has so many women working overtime to manage someone else's mood, and what DARVO actually looks like in real time inside a relationship and in court. They also get into the fight response, the moment you finally explode after months or years of being poked, prodded, and worn down, and why that moment gets weaponized as proof that you are the unstable one. Emma is clear: that reaction does not make you the abuser, it makes you human. Your nervous system was doing exactly what it was built to do. One of the most important reframes in this conversation is also one of the simplest. The person genuinely causing harm is not lying awake at night wondering if they are hurting you. They are not on YouTube looking for answers. You are. And that tells you everything you need to know. Resources mentioned:
This is the podcast they don't want you listening to. 👉 Find me at strongerthanbefore.ca Follow on IG: @_stronger_than_before_coach Get My Books Here Want to pitch a topic or guest to me? Click here. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Subscribe, share it with someone who needs the truth — and remember: | |||