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Can You Actually Be Friends With Your Ex?01 Oct 202601:07:40

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After six years together, living together, building a business and opening our relationship, we broke up… and somehow stayed friends. Two years later, we’re finally unpacking what that actually took. With psychotherapist Jennifer Hanson, we get into why queer people keep their exes so close, when friendship is worth fighting for, when it keeps you stuck, jealousy, new partners, no-contact, boundaries, and the messy process of learning to love someone differently.

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00:00 We Dated for 6 Years… Now We’re Friends
01:44 Why Queer People Stay Friends With Their Exes
05:00 Should You Actually Stay Friends With Your Ex?
08:59 When Is an Ex Worth Keeping in Your Life?
11:45 When You Should NEVER Stay Friends With an Ex
12:10 What If Your Ex Doesn’t Want to Be Friends?
18:18 How Do You Actually Become Friends With an Ex?
19:57 The Boundaries You Need After a Breakup
23:58 Why Am I Jealous If I Don’t Want Them Back?
29:00 Are Non-Monogamous People Better at Breakups?
38:11 Sharing Friends When Your Ex Starts Dating Again
48:17 Do You Need No Contact After a Breakup?
52:30 How We Broke Up While Still Living Together
55:05 The Problem With Hoping You’ll Get Back Together
57:13 Should You EVER Hook Up With an Ex?


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Why Did Transness Keep Getting Linked to the Divine?17 Sep 202601:05:57

Why do trans and gender-nonconforming people keep showing up suspiciously close to gods, prophecy and ancient religion? With trans historian Sophie Edwards, we follow a wildly gay historical trail through the ancient mediterranean to ask why people crossing gender boundaries were so often imagined as closer to the divine.

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0:00 Why Were Trans People So Close to the Divine?
1:00 Can We Call Ancient People Trans?
2:22 The Enarees: Trans Diviners Trusted by Kings
8:30 Why Was Gender-Crossing Linked to Prophecy?
11:50 The Galli: Rome’s Trans Feminine Priestesses
16:20 Ancient Gender-Affirming Care & the Day of Blood
23:15 How Did Ancient Rome Treat the Galli?
28:49 Where Did the Galli Go?
30:40 The Trans Saints of Early Christianity
31:55 Saint Pelagius: The Trans Saint & Former Sex Worker
42:42 Saint Marinos: Exiled Rather Than Out Himself
51:06 Is Transness Connected to the Divine?
54:15 Tiresias: Gender-Crossing, Gods & Prophecy
59:03 The Mystery of the Bearded Venus
1:04:37 We Have Always Existed


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Extreme Skinny Is Back… and It’s Terrifying03 Sep 202601:20:07

Thin is back. Ozempic bodies, heroin chic nostalgia, shrinking celebrities, and suddenly the body positivity era feels like a fever dream. We’re revisiting one of our favourite conversations with artist and body liberation advocate Jennarie to unpack what fatphobia actually does to us, why thin privilege is so invisible, and how diet culture keeps turning our insecurity into profit. Because you can’t heal your relationship with your body while still being terrified of looking fat.

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0:00 Thin Is Back, and That Should Scare Us
1:09 Body Liberation Is Bigger Than Body Positivity
4:03 Growing Up Terrified of Being Fat
12:14 Why Fat People Aren’t Allowed to Be Desirable
20:32 Ads
23:17 Who Decided Thin = Attractive?
27:49 When Doctors Blame Everything on Your Weight
36:31 Why “Just Go to the Gym” Is Bullshit
44:25 What Fat Allyship Actually Looks Like
49:12 Ads
51:37 Why Plus-Size Shopping Is a Different Reality
60:15 Why Are We So Afraid of Looking Fat?
64:09 “You Don’t Look Fat” Isn’t a Compliment
67:14 The Fatphobia You Don’t Know You Have
72:30 Ozempic, Heroin Chic & Why Thin Is Back
75:19 How Do We Actually Find Fat Joy?


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Dating Wasn’t Built for Neurodivergent People06 Aug 202601:07:41

Your crush takes three hours to text back, and suddenly your brain has written, directed and cancelled the entire relationship. We’re unpacking queer neurodivergent dating, sex and intimacy with psychotherapist Frankie Talon Rose: rejection sensitivity, limerence, masking, sensory overload, autistic flirting, kink, consent and the ADHD brain thinking about laundry mid-hookup. From AuDHD dating chaos to shutdowns in long-term relationships, this is a practical, spicy guide to building love around the brain you actually have, not the neurotypical fantasy you were handed. Direct communication has never been hotter.

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00:00 Why Queer People Are More Likely to Be Autistic
02:26 Autism Self-Diagnosis vs. Formal Diagnosis
04:52 How Autism–Trans Research Gets Weaponized
06:24 What Is AuDHD? Autism + ADHD Explained
12:00 Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria in Dating
19:59 Limerence, Hyperfixation & Obsessive Crushes
26:31 Autistic Flirting & the Double Empathy Problem
32:21 Sensory Overload on First Dates
37:41 Masking and Unmasking in Relationships
41:53 Autistic Meltdowns: How Partners Can Help
46:11 ADHD, Hypersexuality & Sexual Impulsivity
50:00 Why ADHD Brains Get Distracted During Sex
55:12 Autism, Kink & Sensory Needs in Bed
59:52 AAC and Nonverbal Consent During Sex
1:03:37 Neurodivergent Shame, Sex & Self-Acceptance


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The Struggle of Being Aromantic in a Love-Obsessed World16 Jul 202601:44:37

We’re unpacking aromanticism. What if the person everyone calls cold, avoidant, or emotionally unavailable simply doesn’t experience romantic attraction? We’re tracing the misunderstood world of aromanticism; From the rise of the aro label and the pressure of amatonormativity to the myths that confuse aromantic people with trauma, autism, asexuality, or commitment issues. We’re also asking the gay little question society hates most: can intimacy, partnership, and sex exist without romance?

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00:00 Aromantic or Emotionally Unavailable?
01:26 What Does Aromantic Mean?
05:54 Sex Without Romance
13:30 What Falling in Love Feels Like
19:20 Am I Aromantic?
35:05 Aromantic vs. Asexual
39:17 The Aromantic Spectrum
47:28 What Is Amatonormativity?
51:34 Marriage Before Romantic Love
57:44 Aromantic People in History
1:06:15 How Aromanticism Got Its Name
1:14:26 Does “Love Is Love” Exclude Aros?
1:20:52 Aromantic Myths
1:35:15 Allo-Aro or Fuckboy?
1:42:14 Why Aromantics Aren’t Taken Seriously


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Lesbians and Bisexual Women Don’t Trust Each Other25 Jun 202601:38:45

We’re dragging lesbian-bisexual relationship drama out of the group chat and onto the mic. From “she’ll leave me for a man” panic to bisexual erasure, biphobia, anxious attachment, queer gatekeeping, and the cursed phrase “basically a lesbian now,” we’re unpacking the insecurities sapphic couples whisper about but rarely say out loud. It’s messy, tender, deeply researched, and yes, someone is probably getting lovingly read.

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00:00 The Man She Might Leave You For
01:02 Lesbian Insecurities, Unfiltered
05:08 It’s Not Really About Him
10:04 The First Sapphic Relationship Panic
15:32 What Am I Not Providing?
21:11 The Straight-Life Fantasy
24:48 The “Good Bisexual” Trap
31:06 Were You Really Left For A Man?
35:25 Are Lesbians Centering Men?
40:31 Bisexuality As The “Deviant Other”
46:35 A Listener Challenges The Narrative
1:00:47 When Queerness Becomes Political
1:12:58 Bisexual Insecurities Come Out
1:20:00 The Pressure To Identify As Lesbian
1:28:32 Sapphic Red Flags Game


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Why No One Believes Bisexuals11 Jun 202601:32:56

Bisexuality has been gaslit for literally thousands of years. We’re tracing the chaotic, horny, surprisingly academic history of bisexuality. From ancient queer goddesses and emperors building cities for their boyfriends, to Freud being confidently incorrect (again), 1970s sapphic beef, and the Bisexual Manifesto. It’s funny, messy, dramatic, and weirdly validating. Turns out bisexuals weren’t confused. History was just very committed to pretending they weren’t there.

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00:00 The Bisexuality Smear Campaign
01:26 Before Bisexuality Existed
08:11 The Emperor and His Boyfriend
14:52 The African Queen With Wives
21:04 When Bisexuality Was Invented
30:56 The Degenerate Brain Theory
35:26 Alfred Kinsey Changes Everything
42:47 The Scale Everyone Knows
49:24 The Biphobia Wars Begin
01:02:18 Political Lesbianism
01:10:36 Why Bisexual Women Were Targeted
01:17:28 Bisexuals Fight Back
01:23:13 The Bisexual Manifesto
01:28:42 The Woman Who Built Pride
01:34:37 The Real Bisexual Legacy


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Why No One Can Tell You’re Gay28 May 202601:43:16

From hanky codes, Polari, earrings, camp, gay voice, and all the tiny clues queer people have used to find each other in public; We’re unpacking why queer visibility has always existed somewhere between safety and recognition, and why so many femmes, nonbinary people, and straight-passing queers still feel painfully unclockable today. From secret codes to modern aesthetics, this episode asks what it means to look queer, be read correctly, and finally feel seen.

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AJAHNIS
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00:00 Why Can’t Anyone Tell?
01:06 Secret Symbols of Queerness
08:12 Queer Codes and Survival
12:14 Polari: Secret Queer Language
16:55 When Queer Slang Gets Stolen
21:11 Lingo, Safety, and Community
27:19 Why Signaling Still Matters
31:08 Performing Non-Binary “Correctly”
39:34 Queerness and the Inner Child
46:42 Authenticity vs. Misgendering
48:05 Femme Visibility and Recognition
49:33 What Camp Really Means
01:00:06 When Signaling Feels Performative
01:10:30 Building Your Queer Avatar
01:26:25 Haircuts, Mustaches, and Signals


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The Adult Industry’s Queerest Secret14 May 202601:35:57

The adult entertainment industry has a very dirty little secret: some of its most profitable fantasies are queer, but the people behind them often aren’t. We’re diving into the strange, censored, and scandalously political history of trans and sapphic adult media; from ancient lesbian imagery and underground screenings to the feminist s*x wars, On Our Backs, and trans creators reclaiming the lens. Maggie MacDonald, and Val Webber, we follow the money, the gaze, and the fantasies we inherited to ask one deliciously uncomfortable question: who gets rich when queer desire becomes a product?

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0:00 Queer Prn, Straight Profit
2:09 Trans P
rn Meets Capitalism
5:09 Algorithms Shape Queer Desire
15:27 Lesbian Prn’s Short History
17:30 Who Defines Lesbian P
rn?
19:51 Performance vs. Authenticity
25:41 Gay Prn Came First
31:07 Women Locked Out of P
rn History
43:29 The Feminist Sex Wars
47:06 On Our Backs
1:00:49 Is Prn Feminist?
1:08:15 The Centerfold Debate
1:09:32 Straight-Made, Queer-Watched
1:21:31 The Internet Changed Everything
1:24:31 Did Lesbians Help Trans P
rn Begin?


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Society Hates Difficult Women. Queer People Worship Them30 Apr 202601:26:46

A diva isn’t born, she’s labeled. And usually right when she stops behaving. We’re unpacking how a word that once meant goddess became shorthand for “too much,” and why powerful, sexual, opinionated women keep getting recast as problems instead of icons. From 1800s opera stages to anti-Nazi spies, civil rights legends, and the queer community that turned them into coded symbols of survival and rebellion. Because maybe being a diva isn’t the insult we were taught, it’s the whole point.

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00:00 intro
02:19 The origin of the term Diva
08:40 Theatrical stars
13:16 Dancing divas
23:09 Bisexual icons
29:00 Bad rep in hollywood
38:09 Are you a friend of Dorothy?
46:16 The difficult woman
51:52 The civil rights Movement
1:02:01 Rejection of the diva
1:04:32 Celebrities as imperfect characters
1:17:24 The obsession with Cher
1:21:48 Gender neutral diva


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Are Trans Brains Different? The Science Says…16 Apr 202601:42:06

Being trans isn’t a trend… but the world sure panicked like it was.
We’re diving into the science behind the transgender brain, the rise of the “social contagion” theory, and the messy history of sexology that started it all. Let's break down what research actually shows about gender identity and biology (and what it doesn’t), why this question is more dangerous than it seems, and how the answers could be used to both validate and weaponize trans existence. This one gets uncomfortable. Fast.

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00:00 Intro 02:55 What's causing the trans boom? 10:49 The social contagion is real 19:38 The bioessentialism problem 28:22 Pros of trans brain science 38:21 Polymorphism makes you trans? 51:00 Maybe you're born with it 58:08 Sociology of transness 1:03:43 Inside the trans brain 1:13:33 How do hormones change your brain? 1:31:32 Would you choose it? 1:38:31 Does science undermine the experience?


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Most People Are Dating on Autopilot02 Apr 202601:02:32

You think your dating choices are yours… but there's invisible rules shaping your sex, love, and identity. However, there is a disruption that queer, kinky, and non-monogamous people are leading, exposing amatonormativity, and the fantasy of desire that isn’t actually yours. To break down how to unlearn, rebuild, and finally choose yourself, we put Feeld’s new Reflections tool to the test; because self-discovery shouldn’t feel like homework. The script stopped working. Now what?

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00:00 intro
00:54 Do we make our own choices?
07:44 The bedroom crossover
16:54 Subliminal beliefs we hold
25:50 social rewards and punishments
34:01 ananormativity
29:44 grow out if it
44:49 compulsory heteronormativity
46:43 can't name it can't claim it
50:31 finding your true desires
53:11 scary things that won't kill you
57:39 are you happy?


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Why the Church Makes People Kinky26 Mar 202601:13:34

The Church might be one of the gayest institutions in history and no one’s talking about it. We’re diving into the hidden queer and kinky world inside religious life. From lesbian nuns to closeted clergy, and how centuries of repression shaped it all. Connecting history, theory, and lived experience to ask: does religion suppress desire, or secretly create it? Because once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

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00:00 Intro
00:59 Growin up with gay clergy?
06:00 Deep in it
11:45 All priests are gay
17:19 The nuns are gay too
21:25 All falling apart
33:08 The shame is too strong
40:53 What religion teaches us about sexuality
48:40 Saying goodbye to Jesus
53:19 Kink will save us
1:00:34 Morality is in question
1:08:02 Religion is Kink in cosplay


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Men Are Losing Women (And They Don't Know Why)26 Feb 202601:20:11

Vox crowned 2025 the year of decentering men. But lesbians were doing it first. We’re unpacking whether “man-hating” is a dead-end, a coping mechanism, or a misread of a much older feminist strategy, with Olivia (aka Olisunvia).

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00:00 Intro
01:00 Man-hating vs de-centering
05:39 Choice vs radical feminism
11:27 the real hate for men
24:13 Second wave feminism
34:15 The feminist manifesto
48:07 Ideal vs reasonable change
57:29 What's in our best interest?
1:07:39 Are women healthier without men?


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The Identity Even Progressive Spaces Get Wrong12 Feb 202601:37:29

Studs aren’t a vibe, they’re a lineage. We’re unpacking the history, politics, and lived reality of Black masculine lesbians at the crossroads of race, gender, and desire. From the swagger and softness, Harlem Renaissance sapphics, stud vs butch, AGs, Stud4Stud discourse, toxic masculinity, and why Black masculinity plays by different rules. Joined by Elisabeth Clarke, Nadine Wiltshire, and Kiké, we dig into stereotypes, erasure, dating myths, and the radical tenderness at the core of stud identity.

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00:00 What is a stud?
05:00 The toxic expectations
12:11 Recreating masculinity
19:12 It's because you're black
24:31 Stud on stud clash
35:03 Who can be a stud?
1:03:04 Know your stud history
1:16:04 Black vs white lesbian division
1:31:21 What can femmes do better?


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The Gender Mystery Historians Still Can’t Explain29 Jan 202600:51:24

The feral, gender-defiant life of a Canadian WWI veteran who ditched a wealthy upbringing, lived alone in the woods, enlisted three times, fought on the Serbian front as a man, got captured as a prisoner of war, fell in love in a prison camp, and spent decades confusing barbers and bureaucrats alike. We’re queering the Great War, unpacking gender outlaw survival, and asking the spicy question: early non-binary icon or radical dissident woman?

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00:00 Intro
01:19 Our hero's early life
07:27 The radical of it all
13:52 What was it like for women in 1900s?
21:00 How did a woman get into war?
27:54 Enlisting as a man
36:37 First love interest (as a man?)
43:43 Actually non-binary?


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Stone Top And Pillow Princess: The Lesbian S*x Dynamic People Don’t Understand15 Jan 202601:24:42

Stone butch lesbians. Pillow princesses. An erotic dynamic that fits like a deviant little puzzle and has been wildly misunderstood ever since. Syd and Addy give us all the details from their own personal experiences, tackle myths and misconceptions, and get radically honest about desire, boundaries, and sexual alignment.

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00:00 intro
00:49 what's a stone top?
07:41 what's a pillow princess?
13:33 can straight girls be a pillow princess?
20:59 myths and misconceptions
25:33 when it's used as an insult
30:35 are they asexual?
34:40 exploring outside the dynamic
42:34 melt the stone?
49:04 finding a partner
51:13 stone butch history
1:01:05 stone butch blues
1:08:22 pillow princess history
1:10:41 all about dating
1:18:31 is it viewed as negative?


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The History and Secrets of How Lesbians Have S*x11 Dec 202501:32:44

We’re cracking open the secret, censored, and wildly creative history of lesbian sex. We’re digging through ancient poems, forbidden medical texts, barroom gossip, queer zines, and the techniques they definitely didn’t teach in sex ed. Tracing sapphic desire from Sappho’s bedroom to modern queer culture and exposing just how inventive lesbians have always been.

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Email: queer.collective.to@gmail.com

00:00 intro
01:05 Why is lesbian research scarce?
06:25 do men have higher libido
21:05 ancient greece lesbians
27:24 ancient india lesbians
29:46 medieval lesbos
37:36 is using a dildo phallocentric?
41:21 sexy reddit strap stories
45:42 the arabs had the right idea
48:58 the "itch"
54:04 early modern lesbos
1:02:03 lesbian nuns
1:09:41 modern lesbians
1:12:32 birth of the leather dyke
1:20:49 bdsm kinky lesbians
1:23:11 prison dykes
1:29:15 crafty prison pleasure toys


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The Queer Community Is Tearing Itself Apart (Here’s Why) ft. Taha27 Nov 202501:17:29

Every corner of queer TikTok is on fire. Hot takes, call-out wars, and “LGB without the T” chaos, and suddenly the biggest culture war isn’t left vs. right, it’s inside our own community. We’re diving into the history of queer infighting, from Stonewall splits to homonormativity, moral panics, tender-queer discourse, and why assimilation vs. liberation is the eternal gay cage match.

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00:00 Intro
00:52 What is causing the divide?
07:19 Are we taking it too far?
11:50 The moral panic
16:51 Am I the problem?
23:31 The worst it's ever been
31:23 Save the children
41:44 Assimilation vs abolition
50:23 Which strategy will win?
57:38 This time is different
1:03:53 How tf do we move forward
1:13:14 What can I do today?


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The Bisexual Man’s Field Guide to Dating Men ft. Mark and Bobby Box13 Nov 202501:31:58

You’re bi (or gay), and honestly? You’ve got no idea what to do with your hands. We got you. Sex columnist Bobby Box and bi icon Mark Erenberg join us for a crash course in gay sex 101. From flirting with men and building confidence to actually being good in bed. We’re talking imposter syndrome, gay panic, and the do’s and don’ts of bottoming… all with a wink, a giggle, and a lube bottle. Think of it as your guide to queer pleasure, power, and sweaty first kisses.

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00:00 Intro
01:11 First time with a man
10:42 Realizing you like men
16:07 Imposter syndrome for bi men
21:59 How do Gay men feel about bi men?
25:46 Will he leave you for a woman?
30:25 Gay vs straight dating
37:36 Consent in gay men spaces
43:06 You're getting more attention now
47:47 How to hit on a guy
56:24 Hard skills
1:00:08 Bottoming
1:07:40 What is side?
1:12:29 How about group sex?
1:15:00 Giving great BJ's
1:18:26 What if it's too big?
1:21:36 First time prep
1:25:41 Sexy smut


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Is Bisexuality The Same As Pansexuality? ft. Leo And Taty30 Oct 202501:12:32

Pansexuality: it’s not just bisexuality with extra glitter. We’re tracing its wild origins from the BDSM underground to the free love 70s to the nonbinary explosion of the 2010s, because this label has range. We’re unpacking the bi vs. pan debate, the pan pride flag’s secret meanings, and why pansexuality has always been the sexy rebel of the LGBTQ+ alphabet.

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Email: queer.collective.to@gmail.com

00:00 Intro
01:34 Bi or pan?
10:26 Pan is the umbrella
14:55 What is a lesbian?
19:55 What does attraction look like for pansexuals?
24:02 History of pansexuality
31:38 Early examples of pansexuality
35:45 The kinky history
39:41 The evolution of pan
48:55 Sexuality is not fluid?
56:08 Pan challenges
01:05:37 Is pansexuality inherently political?


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The Lesbian Relationship Myths We Can’t Kill ft. Shannon25 Sep 202501:10:37

Do all lesbians think the same? We’re digging into the big three stereotypes. Emotional intensity, U-Hauling, and lesbian bed death, to see if Sapphics really do relationships differently. We’re breaking down where these tropes come from, what’s rooted in history, and what’s just straight-up lesbophobic myth. Joined by hopeless romantic & poet lesbian play boy poetry, we’re asking: are lesbians too intense, too fast, and too sexless, or just misunderstood?

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00:00 Intro
01:28 Are we more intense?
07:11 It's the hormones
17:20 Good or toxic?
28:35 U-hauling
44:18 Lesbian bed death
01:02:50 Frequency is the key


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How to Hook Up With Your Friends ft. Syd And Zhané28 Aug 202501:25:14

Is sleeping with your friends a queer love language or just lesbian chaos theory? We’re spilling on crushes, cuddle hookups, and why queers can’t stop blurring the friendship line. With Zhané and Syd, we talk jealousy, intimacy, ENM vs monogamy, and every messy “oops, I made out with my bestie” scenario. Gay disasters, incoming.

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00:00 intro
01:44 Have you hooked up with friends?
09:20 Pros and cons of hooking up
25:39 What about the friendship?
40:10 Is it inevitable?
49:15 Making the first move
57:56 Intoxicated consent
01:04:18 Keeping a platonic vibe after
01:10:38 How to avoid problems
01:16:52 Role playing scenarios


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The Epidemic of Masc Fragility ft. Ms. Myles And Danielle Lastres14 Aug 202501:04:31

Femininity: feared, fetishized, and slapped with a “no fems” dating bio. We’re pulling femmephobia apart with Ms. Myles and Danielle. From its colonial, patriarchal origin story to the high school boys who think they have to one-up each other in a contest to sound the most heterosexual.

CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains mentions of SA. Please take care of yourself while listening, and feel free to skip to the next episode if it’s not the right time for you.

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Email: queer.collective.to@gmail.com

00:00 Intro
02:25 Define femmephobia
05:28 How does society treat femmes?
15:06 Being a trans femme is something else
23:32 Origins of femmephobia
31:09 The misogyny mask
43:11 No femmes allowed
48:37 Unwavering queerness
53:23 Do you wanna be a boy?
58:15 Protect the dolls


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“I’m Not a Lesbian Anymore, I’m Queer” ft. Tyra Blizzard And King31 Jul 202501:13:21

From Oscar Wilde to JoJo Siwa, the word queer has been called a slur, a theory, an aesthetic, and a whole damn vibe. We’re diving deep into the messy, sexy, defiant legacy of queerness with icons Tyra Blizzard and King a.k.a DJ Soundboi. Why are so many ex-lesbians saying “I’m queer now”? Can cis-hets be queer? Is “queer” just bisexuality in a trench coat?? We’re reclaiming, unpacking, and stirring the pot.

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00:00 Intro
02:26 Queer as gender and sexuality?
10:04 Is queer just too vague?
21:21 The ex-lesbians
28:26 Can you be culturally queer?
41:26 History of the word queer
52:12 How has queer evolved?
01:00:08 Is gender queer just non-binary?
01:06:05 Do you need to question your sexual attraction?


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You’re Not Gay, You Struggle With Same-Sex Attraction ft. Luke Wilson17 Jul 202501:18:39

What do electric shocks, shame sermons, and fake science have in common? They were all used to “pray the gay away.” We’re diving into the twisted world of conversion therapy with survivor and scholar Lucas Wilson. From evangelical trauma to the ex-gay movement’s most delulu masc villains, we’re unpacking the pseudoscience, propaganda, and lifelong scars of this deadly practice, and how survivors are reclaiming their stories.

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00:00 Intro
01:46 Did you grow up religious?
08:23 being gay AND christian?
19:03 Discovering conversion therapy
35:40 The indoctrination is strong
44:14 The science is clear
57:36 Should DL folks be outed?
01:02:49 But the bible says
01:07:11 rejecting religion's teachings
01:10:53 The long term harm


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Relationship Anarchy Changed How I Love ft. Pat03 Jul 202501:29:09

Monogamy is optional. Hierarchies are fake. And ‘the one’ doesn't exist? We're diving headfirst into the world of Relationship Anarchy with queer academic and certified hottie Pat. From dismantling the dating rulebook to navigating multiple partners without losing your mind, this episode unpacks radical love, intimacy without ownership, and why friendship might just be the new forever.

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00:00 Intro
01:32 What is relationship anarchy?
10:50 How do you get into RA?
20:34 Positive impact of RA
27:20 Why choose RA?
41:45 Can it get more radical?
53:28 Building your own RA model
01:06:13 Dating challenges within RA
01:12:26 Creating clarity with multiple partners
01:19:06 Negotiating hierarchies


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Is Black Masculinity Feared in Queer Spaces? ft. Haviah Mighty And DJ Blackcat19 Jun 202501:17:41

Black masculinity is feared, fetishized, and fiercely policed; so what happens when queerness enters the chat? We’re talking masc performance as survival, straight Black men’s discomfort with queerness, and why traditional masculinity is flopping in 2025. With Haviah Mighty and DJ Blackcat, we’re queering the blueprint and dragging patriarchy by the lacefront.

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00:00 Intro
02:33 Black masculinity from childhood
11:18 Highschool scripts and stereotypes
16:03 Black masc women
21:52 Black women's standards
27:56 Black masculinity in queer spaces
39:38 Cis straight black men
50:59 Loving men
01:03:43 What is masculinity?
01:10:36 What is healthy masculinity?


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No Fats, No Femmes, No Asians: The Grindr Industrial Complex ft. Humza and Darynel05 Jun 202501:13:05

Gay dating can be messy. From hookup culture and emotional avoidance to Grindr’s racial hierarchy, we’re diving into the chaos with guests Darynel Weekly and Mango Lassi. We’re unpacking the trauma, the body standards, the “no fats no femmes,” and giving you tools to heal, find real connection, and maybe even enjoy the apps without losing your soul.

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00:00 Intro
00:02:57 First time with a man
00:07:46 History of hookup culture
00:12:11 DL gays
00:19:57 Seeking validation in sex
00:28:21 Finding long term love
00:36:10 Is the gay community racist?
00:48:48 fetishization in gay community
00:54:46 Is it a personal preference?
01:04:22 Gay body standards
01:07:28 Best advice for dating


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The Lesbian Identity Crisis: Trans And Non-Binary?! ft. Jay-Marie and Eirene22 May 202501:45:59

Think all lesbians are women? Think again. We're queering the label with trans and non-binary lesbians who are redefining what it means to love, resist, and rebel. From gender euphoria to TERF drama to navigating dating apps as a gender outlaw, this episode dives into the messy, sexy, revolutionary legacy of lesbianism. Featuring archival hot takes, community tension, and maybe even a little dyke drama.

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00:00:00 intro
00:02:34 What is a lesbian?
00:10:18 Being NB and Trans
00:16:29 Finding Gender Identity
00:25:58 Why identify as a lesbian?
00:31:41 What is a woman?
00:37:12 Queer phenomenology
00:51:29 Gender identity vs survival strategy
01:01:41 Who gets to be a lesbian?
01:18:48 Lesbian sentiment towards trans & NB
01:26:28 Dating and intimacy
01:37:36 Envy vs attraction to women
01:41:08 Advice for dating


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Asian Fetishization And Hyper-Sexualization ft. Ky and Charlotte08 May 202501:20:58

If you've ever been called “exotic,” or told you're one of the “good minorities” this one’s for you. We’re unpacking the fetishization of Asian bodies, the myth of the model minority, and the tension between queerness and cultural belonging. With personal stories from two badass artists, Charlotte and Ky, we explore femme fetish tropes, family pressure, and the art of de-centering whiteness, while staying hot and radical.

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Born Intersex And Surgically Erased ft. Bailey Archer and Noise24 Apr 202500:57:42

You were told sex is binary, XX or XY, case closed. But what if we told you that’s just redhead math? We’re unpacking the intersex experience with two brilliant guests: Noise (the intersex karaoke witch) and Bailey (trans, intersex, and hot). We’re diving into the science, the history, the surgeries, the shame and why “normal” is a scam. Expect gay giggles, medical rage, and radical joy.

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00:00 intro
03:10 Finding out you're intersex
17:05 History of medicalization of intersex
26:41 Experiencing diagnosis
33:39 Existing in a binary world
41:24 Navigating dating
51:03 Advice for younger self


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Do Queer Muslim Women Exist?! ft. Urvah Khan10 Apr 202500:49:29

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Queer. Muslim. Rockstar. Activist. Urvah Khan is all of the above, and she’s here to spill the tea on holding identities the world says don’t mix. We’re talking queerness, faith, feminism, and the fight for liberation, plus why the West needs to stop acting like all Muslim women are oppressed. Urvah breaks down her personal journey, the power of community, and how she’s reclaiming the Azaan with a mic in one hand and a middle finger in the other. It’s raw, rebellious, and deeply queer. Let’s get into it.

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00:00 intro
01:58 Queer and raised Muslim
12:12 Coming out to a Muslim family
19:17 Coming back to Islam as a queer person
28:16 Why continue to choose Islam?
35:30 Wearing the hijab
39:39 Finding queer Muslim community
45:39 Advice for queer Muslims
47:31 Queer Muslim joy


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The Secret to Sapphic Sex and Dating ft. Zhané and Eva Bloom27 Mar 202501:10:42

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Losing your sapphic v-card? Terrified you’ll fumble the bag? We got you. This episode is your survival guide to sapphic sex, confidence, flirting, and ahem hands-on skills included. We’re joined by queer sex-ed pro Eva Bloom and sapphic dating expert Zhané to break down the do’s and don’ts of queer intimacy. From navigating your first time to mastering the art of the flirt, this one’s packed with hot tips (literally). Plus, we wrap things up with a round of Sapphic Smutty Mad Libs because education should always come with a little filth.

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00:00 intro
01:48 first time with a woman
14:54 ways to confirm your queerness
16:21 being a newbie means no one wants you?
18:21 Queer vs straight flirting
22:49 Sapphic vs straight sex
30:27 how to flirt with Sapphics
38:54 having Sapphic sex
47:59 Strapping advice
55:35 Top or bottom?
58:40 Trans femmes & neurodivergents
59:58 Sexy Sapphic Smutt


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How to Open Your Relationship (and Actually Make It Work) ft. The Polyamory Therapy Collective13 Mar 202501:03:54

So, you wanna open up your relationship but don’t wanna crash and burn in a fiery mess of jealousy and regret? We got you. We’re joined by three queer, non-monogamous therapists from the Polyamory Therapy Collective to give you the ultimate survival guide to ENM—how to start the convo, avoid rookie mistakes, and actually enjoy the ride. We’re unpacking couples’ privilege, imposter syndrome, and why your gut is doing backflips every time your partner even mentions someone new. Whether you're non-monogamy-curious or in the trenches, this one's essential.

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00:00 Intro
02:11 What are open relationships?
07:24 Is ENM for you?
11:29 Is it ethical?
16:08 How to ask your partner to open up
23:57 What to discuss before opening up
29:38 What if it doesn't feel good for you?
33:13 Dealing with imposter syndrome
41:49 Is ENM NOT for you?
43:00 Don't make these mistakes
46:53 How to forgive those who hurt you
50:17 Couple's privilege
56:00 Staying in touch with an ex
01:01:16 If you feel distant from this conversation


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The Great Lesbian Divide: Butch vs Femme ft. Pkat and Haviah Mighty27 Feb 202501:35:17

What does it really mean to be a lesbian? Is it a vibe? A gender? A political stance? We’re diving headfirst into the evolution of lesbian identity—breaking down butch and femme history, masculinity, queerness, and what it truly means to de-center men (spoiler: it’s liberating). With three wildly different lesbians at the table - Haviah, Pkat, and Karbon - we’re serving history, academic drama, and personal hot takes. It’s intellectual, it’s unhinged, and it’s very, very gay. Buckle up, baby dykes.

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00:00 intro
05:18 the lesbian identity
12:17 the masculine/feminine dilemma
24:52 discovery of lesbianism
38:02 the lesbian sub-identities
50:48 white vs bipoc lesbians
01:05:46 is lesbian a queer identity?
01:13:37 femmes don't get enough credit
01:25:11 do mascs get more dates?


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Biohack Your Menstrual Cycle And Stop Suffering! Ft. Miranda of The Period Lab13 Feb 202501:01:11

What if we told you that your period pain isn’t just a fact of life — and that your 9-5 job might actually be making it worse? We’re hacking the menstrual cycle with Miranda Popen, hormone expert and founder of The Period Lab. We’re talking PMS myths, biohacking for better energy, and why the system was not built for menstruators (or trans folks on HRT). Plus, are your “healthy” foods actually wrecking your hormones? Your cycle is about to get an upgrade.

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00:00 Intro
01:58 Why are we getting our period younger?
06:49 Period products that hurt you
11:02 What's impacting your period?
14:30 Is period pain normal?
18:13 Science wasn't made for you
21:38 Your 9-5 job is hurting you
25:50 How do we biohack our cycle?
31:19 What should you eat for a better period?
43:04 Symptoms you may experience
46:13 Sings you have hormone imbalance
50:33 How to find what's right for you
53:38 What if you're on HRT?
57:31 The #1 thing you can do now


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Intro To BDSM: Creating A Dom Persona ft. Yaz30 Jan 202501:16:57

What if embracing dominance could unlock parts of yourself you never knew existed? We’re diving into the art (and magic) of crafting a Dom persona with our friend Yaz - the non-binary, bisexual, Middle Eastern powerhouse you may remember from our polyamory episodes. We're talking confidence, embodiment, and the kinky intersections of BDSM and gender exploration. Plus, Yaz spills their secrets on stepping into your power—whether in the dungeon or your daily life. Ready to get a little dominant?

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00:00 Intro
02:15 What is BDSM?
04:48 How did you get into BDSM?
07:22 Experience being a dom
10:34 What influences your dom persona?
12:27 Yaz's dom persona
19:11 Building your own dom persona
24:20 Core motivations of being dominant
33:01 How to develop dominance
42:26 What makes a competent dom?
47:44 Are there kinks that are wrong?
54:53 Considering safety and disclosure
01:02:42 Being a good submissive
01:09:29 Exploring gender through BDSM


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Navigating Conflict in Polyamorous Relationships ft. Decolonizing Love16 Jan 202501:31:00

Polyamory with a sprinkle of chaos, a dash of queer magic, and a whole lot of deep questions? We’re tackling the juicy challenges of ethical non-monogamy—from jealousy to ADHD-induced impulsivity—and answering real audience dilemmas with expert guests Millie & Nick from Decolonizing Love. Plus, we explore the BIPOC experience in poly spaces, unpack the power of decolonizing love, and ask if polyamory is the gayest thing ever (spoiler: it might be).

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00:00 Overview
01:46 Lacking stability
05:37 Fear of polyamory
10:59 Dealing with CPTSD
16:24 Imbalances in relationships
18:33 Navigating Jealousy
24:44 Balancing attention in group settings
30:07 Being neurodivergent
38:06 Asking to meet your partner's family
47:54 Dating someone with a long term partner
51:12 Being a better hinge
52:49 Managing conflict between metamours
01:06:09 Navigating non-monogamy for POCs
01:14:08 Hard feelings around race & ethnicity
01:18:06 Polyamory & decolonization
01:23:43 Challenging patriarchal norms
01:25:45 Is polyamory inherently queer?


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Why Is Queer Mental Health Worse Than Our Straight Counterparts? ft. June Lam of CAMH12 Dec 202401:19:27

Friend, foe, or messy ex, what’s psychiatry’s role in queer lives? This week, we sit down with Dr. June Lam, psychiatrist and trans healthcare expert, to tackle mental health disparities, navigating family drama, unpacking shame, and surviving the holidays. Plus, we dive into the politics of medical transitions, debunk “fast-tracking” myths, and confront detransition discourse with science (and sass). Whether you’re queer, questioning, or just chronically anxious, this episode’s here to hold your glittery, overwhelmed hand.

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Email: queer.collective.to@gmail.com

00:00 Overview
02:52 Why is queer mental health worse?
05:34 Is therapy and medication the solution?
12:58 tips on managing anxiety
16:05 Boundaries aren't one size fits all
22:19 Supporting someone who is struggling
27:43 What is CBT and DBT?
40:01 Free or low cost therapy
44:14 The role of psychiatry in medical transitions
54:16 Are you ready to transition?
59:39 Are youth fast-tracked into transition?
01:06:01 Regretting transitioning
01:12:39 Delaying Transitioning


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Why Are There More Bisexual Women Than Men?! ft. Brock Boyne28 Nov 202400:54:08

Why are bisexual men the invisible icons of the LGBTQ+ community? In this episode, we’re joined by the fabulous Brock Boyne (they/he), a horticulturist-turned-bisexual icon, as we dig into the stigma, stereotypes, and societal pressures keeping bi men in the shadows. From first queer flirts to the intersection of masculinity, race, and fluidity, we explore what it really means to embrace bisexuality in a world that loves to keep men in boxes.

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00:00 Overview
02:28 First bisexual experience
05:40 straight men flirt with each other?
08:47 what held you back from embracing bisexuality?
14:04 What made you want to be out?
15:53 Signs you aren't straight
17:37 Overcoming toxic masculinity
21:57 Navigating queer spaces
31:27 Same-sex flirting and hookups
36:09 Getting in touch with the feminine side
40:53 Why are bisexual men in the closet?
47:27 Is there exclusion in the queer community?
50:30 Advice for bisexual men


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What Does It Mean to Be Asexual and Aromantic? ft. Cody Daigle-Orians14 Nov 202401:16:32

What if love and attraction aren't the same thing at all? In this episode, we’re joined by Cody Daigle-Orians, aka Ace Dad Advice, an asexuality educator, influencer, and author who’s here to help us break down asexual and aromantic identities with humor and heart. From discovering your ace identity to navigating relationships outside society's romantic and sexual norms, Cody offers insights, ally tips, and myths debunked.

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Email: queer.collective.to@gmail.com

00:00 Overview
02:19 How did you discover asexuality?
07:32 What does it mean to be asexual/aromantic?
09:48 What are the sub-categories of ace/aro
16:51 What are the signs you might be ace/aro
19:38 What is compulsory sexuality and amatonormativity?
23:50 Asexual or just low libito?
27:12 Common misconceptions
31:34 What can ace/aro teach us?
37:10 Relationships & sex
44:39 Queer platonic relationships
49:21 Managing partner expectations
52:02 Key to successful relationships
54:24 Advice for youth
01:00:55 Marginalization of ace/aro people
01:08:44 Health disparities for ace/aro folks
01:13:46 How can we be better allies?


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Surrogacy: Everything You Need To Know But Were Too Afraid To Ask ft. Nici of Hive Surrogacy24 Oct 202401:11:58

The nitty-gritty of surrogacy—how it works, why it matters, and what the queer community needs to know. We’re joined by Nici, co-founder of Hive Surrogacy, who’s here to speak on queer birthing, the dark side of the global surrogacy industry, and what it’s like to be a surrogate herself. Is surrogacy empowering, exploitative, or a little bit of both? Let’s talk ethical baby-making, power dynamics, and why surrogates deserve way more credit (and probably cash).

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00:00 Overview
01:11 The role of a surrogacy agency
02:35 Who seeks surrogacy?
06:10 What's the surrogacy process?
13:03 Traditional vs Gestational surrogacy
15:05 How much does surrogacy cost?
22:05 Is exploitation a concern?
31:21 Can surrogacy be unethical?
34:35 Why not just adopt?
41:14 The good and bad of surrogacy
49:11 What makes a good surrogate?
1:00:33 Do surrogacy babies suffer trauma?
1:05:48 What supports do surrogates need?
1:07:27 Bonus audience question
1:09:02 Advice for couples seeking surrogacy


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What Does It Mean to Be Indigenous & Queer? ft. Chelazon Leroux & Haley Robinson10 Oct 202401:11:12

Humanity’s oldest, most suppressed queer identities, 2-Spirit. Tiktok star Chelazon Leroux and actor/model Haley Robinson tear open the wounds of colonial erasure and reclaim the beauty of being both Indigenous and Queer. From navigating intergenerational trauma to confronting settler microaggressions, they expose the raw truth about what it means to exist at the intersection of queerness and indigeneity. This isn’t just a conversation, it’s a call to unlearn everything you think you know about queer history.

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Email: queer.collective.to@gmail.com

00:00 Overview
02:41 Growing up Indigenous
10:56 What is 2-spirit?
16:02 Is 2-spirit accepted in communities?
23:33 Being 2-spirit AND queer
27:36 Indigenous culture
32:21 Colonial and religious indoctrination
37:45 What intergenerational trauma destroys
41:50 long lasting impacts of trauma
51:12 How the government is at play
56:38 on reserve vs off reserve
01:05:58 microaggressions you might be using


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The DARK History Of Women's Sports ft. Tyra Blizzard26 Sep 202401:15:02

Transvestigation conspiracy theories are targeting women athletes. Are trans athletes really threatening fairness in sports, or is this just another excuse for exclusion? We’re joined by pro-athlete and gender nerd Tyra Blizzard to break down the myths, misinformation, and the shady politics behind it all. From Olympic scandals to TERFs being TERFs, we’re here to give you the tea on trans participation in sports and why it matters.

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I Was Forced to ‘Prove’ I’m Queer To The Government ft. Latoya Nugent of Rainbow Railroad12 Sep 202400:54:51

What happens when your home turns hostile? We dive deep into the raw realities of LGBTQI+ refugees with activist Latoya Nugent, who fled Jamaica with the help of Rainbow Railroad. From persecution to queer liberation, learn about the global trends in anti-LGBTQI+ violence, how resettlement systems are failing refugees, and what it’s like to ‘prove’ you’re queer enough to escape.

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Polyamory: The History You Never Thought to Ask29 Aug 202401:17:19

Was it agriculture, capitalism, or the patriarchy that pushed us into "pair bonding"? Are humans actually wired to stay faithful, or is cheating in our genes? We'll dissect scientific theories, challenge old-school narratives, and maybe even giggle a little about group sex and jealousy. Whether you’re team monogamy or polyamory curious, this episode is your ticket to understanding the wild, wonderful world of human connection. Get ready to rethink everything you thought you knew about love and human nature.

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Dating Someone With HIV ft. Myles Sexton15 Aug 202401:03:09

The AIDS epidemic. There's a fierce stigma that still lingers, and the raw, real-life experiences of those living with HIV are often portrayed negatively. Our fabulous guest, Myles Sexton—a queer fashion nomad and HIV activist—shares their powerful journey, slaying myths and spreading love. From dating advice to radical vulnerability, this episode serves the tea with a side of empowerment. Let's break the stigma and discuss HIV/AIDS.

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What Does It Mean To Be Non-Binary? Ft. Halal Bae & Gay Jesus01 Aug 202400:52:09

Society loves boxes, but what if they don’t fit? Dive into the fabulous world of non-binary identities! Featuring Heath V. Salazar, aka "Gay Jesus," and Halal Bae from Canada’s Drag Race, we explore gender beyond the binary, tackle misconceptions, and celebrate the joy of being non-binary. Whether you're new to the concept or living it, this episode is your gateway to understanding and embracing non-binary fabulousness.

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What Laws Do Sex Workers REALLY Want? ft. Jenna of Maggies18 Jul 202400:38:11

From indoor vs. outdoor work to the Nordic model’s pitfalls, we deep dive into the real sex worker experience. Discover why sex work is a queer issue and how allyship can transform lives. We explore what sex workers truly need from the law and society. Tune in for an enlightening, candid, and a bit cheeky conversation that shatters myths and celebrates sex worker resilience.

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