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Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast Proof of Life with Preston Rakovsky

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TitreDateDurée
Married 20 Years: The Difference Between Limerence, Attachment, and Love01 May 202600:24:09

Most people think they know what true love is, but Christine, who's been with her partner for 27 years, would argue most of us are confusing it with limerence or attachment.

In this episode, we unpack the difference between infatuation, attachment, and real love, and why understanding it might be the key to a relationship that actually lasts.

Christine met her partner when she was 19. They've been together 27 years and married for 20. She knew from her teens that she didn't want to be possessed, owned, or treated like a status symbol, and she was clear about that from day one. In this conversation, she explains why "the one" is a myth, why most relationships are unhappy, and what it actually looks like to love someone without trying to control them.

We talk about the moment she watched her husband almost fall for someone else and felt joy instead of jealousy, the difference between authenticity and connection, the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice as a metaphor for trust, and why real love means letting your partner walk their own path, even when it means walking apart for a while.

If you've ever felt stuck between what people call love and what love actually feels like, this one's for you.

Subscribe for more honest conversations about love, relationships, and what it really means to be human.

American's Don't Love Hard Enough 27 Apr 202600:26:36

A man who immigrated to America as a child breaks down why Americans hold back affection from the people they love, and what it actually means to express love without shame.

Luke Chiang on Reframing His Past Relationships01 Sep 202500:07:01

Luke Chiang, the soulful R&B artist known for his heartfelt vocals and timeless sound, opens up about love, memory, and the pieces of ourselves we leave behind in past relationships. He reflects on how every ex carries a version of us that no one else will ever know. A powerful reminder about growth, healing, and moving forward.

men not talking about their feelings is a recipe for disaster10 Jul 202500:06:37

talking about your feelings 🤝 successful relationships

there isn't "one true love" for everyone (therapist)08 Jul 202500:03:59

relationships evolve and forever isn't always realistic

people should focus on themselves rather than trying to find a relationship06 Jul 202500:02:25

instead of chasing the perfect partner, just become the person you’re meant to be and you'll find them.

dating should be approached as an anthropological study06 Jul 202500:04:25

dating isn’t about finding “the one”, it’s an anthropological study.

He Won't Date a Woman Who Can't Be His Friend First25 Apr 202600:53:25

A playwright who went from gambling addiction to writing his own plays breaks down why romantic love only survives when it lives inside friendship, and what it actually means to share the boring moments with someone.

Why You Should Celebrate Your Breakup17 Apr 202600:33:28

A writer who celebrated his last breakup breaks down why the end of a relationship isn't the end of love, and what it actually means to love without possession.

Americans Don't Know How To Love05 Apr 202600:28:26

A Moroccan woman living in America breaks down why Americans struggle to truly show up for the people they love, and what it actually means to love without conditions.

You Are Not Just Falling for Them, You Are Falling for Who You Are With Them31 Mar 202600:21:09

A man reflects on how a three-year relationship taught him that love isn't just about the other person, it's about who you become when you're with them.

To Love is to Be Heard, Not Just Listened To22 Mar 202600:27:53

A conversation with Gen, a therapist-in-training on why being truly heard, not just listened to, is the foundation of real love

When Dating, Don't Trust Your Gut11 Mar 202600:20:41

Why “trust your gut” can be misleading in dating, and how better decisions come from balancing four signals of intuition: the head, heart, gut, and groin.

Love Isn't a Goal You Can Work Towards19 Feb 202600:24:20

A South Asian Muslim woman shares her story with Preston about how you can't work your way into someone's love.

Love Only Exists When Its Enacted01 Sep 202500:04:04

talking to samiha about why she believes love only exists in all types of relationships (romantic, platonic, familial) when its enacted on.- “just feelings” aren’t enough- what compromise in love actually looks like- why people think they’re loving someone but really aren’t- how love languages should work in reality rather than in practice

Marriage Therapist: The Skill That Makes Love Last09 May 202600:35:05

Saying "I love you" isn't proof you love someone. Proof is what you do when staying connected is the hardest thing in the room.

Vienna Pharaon, marriage and family therapist of 19 years and author of The Origins of You, sat down with us to talk about what it actually means to choose someone, especially when your nervous system is screaming at you to do anything but.

She grew up an only child in the middle of her parents' nine-year divorce, with a father who could out-argue anyone in the room and a mother who couldn't keep up. The lesson her body absorbed: being right is safety, being wrong is danger. So when she started dating her now-husband, she became a "point prover", doubling down, tripling down, unable to let a fight go even when he was already waving the white flag. The work of the last decade has been undoing that, and what she's found on the other side is that real love isn't winning the argument. It's the willingness to look at the parts of yourself you don't want to look at, so you can stop disconnecting from the person right in front of you.

A few things we get into: the out-of-body moment in an early fight when she watched herself spiraling and couldn't stop, why "if you loved me, you'd stay in this conversation right now" is manipulation and not love, losing their dog six weeks after her son was born, the death of her husband's mother, and the actual mechanics of repair, stop, take space, regulate, look at your part, then come back.

This one is for anyone who has ever needed to be right to feel safe, who shuts down the second feedback enters the room, or who has quietly wondered whether their partner is someone they can really go through the hard with.

Follow for more honest conversations about love, relationships, and what it really means to be human.

Resentment is the Cholesterol of Love06 May 202600:38:41

Most people think fighting is just part of love. Mikayla would argue that if you're truly building something secure, you should almost never have to "fight".

In this episode, we unpack why resentment is the silent killer of relationships, how small unspoken hurts compound into something that ends love, and what it actually takes to give your partner room to grow.

Mikayla grew up in a family where the loudest voice won, where love looked like proving you were right, picking every fight, and dying on every hill. She brought that into every relationship she had until she realized she was alienating the people she loved most. Now nearly a year into marriage and two and a half years with her partner, she's learned that real love isn't about winning the argument; it's about catching the resentment before it builds. In this conversation, she explains why testing your partner is a trauma response, why "I want them to want to buy me flowers" is a trap, and what it looks like to actually let someone love you in a way you can receive.

We talk about the moment she effectively proposed to her partner under anesthesia after only three months, the four days of silence that followed, the gum-stick incident that taught her how resentment really starts, why the pursuit of loving is itself a form of love, and how repair, not perfection, is what keeps a relationship alive.

If you've ever felt yourself quietly keeping score, withdrawing instead of asking for what you need, or testing your partner to see if they'll stay, this one's for you.

Follow for more honest conversations about love, relationships, and what it really means to be human.

What No One Understands About Love Until It's Too Late26 May 202600:39:33

A woman who spent years being annoyed by her dad's quirks explains what she'd give anything to have back, and why the things that irritate you most about someone are the things you'll grieve the hardest.

The Type of Intimacy Most People Will Never Experience22 May 202600:53:27

A woman raised by a family that got love right explains why consideration is the highest form of intimacy, and why the person who calls you "too much" is never the one.

What The Bachelor Taught Me About Conversations We Avoid31 May 202600:38:42

A woman who spent her days as the producer of The Bachelor asking strangers the deepest questions about love explains why she couldn't ask those same questions in her own five-year relationship, and how she learned that wanting to truly know someone is the one thing you can't fake.

You Marry the Same Person Three Times07 Jun 202600:42:54

A woman who stayed married 35 years explains why she's actually been married three times to the same man, a sweet beginning, a decade that felt like war, and the marriage they have now. The turning point that ended the fighting wasn't him changing, and it wasn't a grand gesture, it was a small, almost embarrassing realization about why she was angry in the first place.

Why You Stay When You Know You Should Leave10 Jun 202600:39:57

A self-described lover girl who gives people 28 chances before walking away explains how one breakup left her in bed for weeks, why her mom had to tell her the same fairy tale over and over before it finally clicked, and the moment she realized she'd spent three years begging for something a near-stranger gave her after being asked once. The thing that changed how she loves wasn't getting over him, and it wasn't finding someone new, it was noticing who had been showing up for her the entire time.

Why Grand Gestures Are Actually Red Flags15 Jun 202600:31:49

A woman raised by Filipino immigrant parents who never said "I love you" out loud explains why a partner's most generous gestures can land as rejection, what her dad's Elmo phone calls had to do with it, and the quiet thing she now looks for that most people overlook. What makes love last, she's decided, has nothing to do with how much someone is willing to give.

Gary Vee: The Kind Of Love That Decides Your Whole Life17 Jun 202600:08:10

A man raised on the kind of unconditional love most people never get, from a mother who survived losing her own mom at five and a father imprisoned in Soviet Russia, explains why money, fame, and winning will never make people actually love you, the uncomfortable reason the people surrounding the rich and powerful don't really love them, and the one quiet thing almost everyone gets backwards about how love is earned.

Married 21 Years: Don't Create a Safe Space23 Jun 202600:42:10

Timm Chiusano, who's been married 21 years, explains why the instinct to protect your relationship, building a safe little room around it and shutting the doors, might be the exact thing slowly killing it, what a cat that wandered through his Brooklyn house had to do with it, and the quiet moment his wife told him he was wrong that changed everything. What makes love last, he's decided, has nothing to do with how safe you keep it.


Song: EtherealComposer: Punch DeckWebsite: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3M9CX5HWSw25k5QL3FkDEALicense: Creative Commons (BY 3.0) https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/Music powered by BreakingCopyright: https://breakingcopyright.com

Why Trying To Be Loved Is Pushing People Away21 Jun 202600:25:22

A lifelong people pleaser who befriended everyone from her classmates to the nurse drawing her blood explains why being liked by everyone left her feeling known by no one, what a $3,000 trip to Iceland she didn't even want had to do with it, and the quiet thing she now reaches for instead of grand gestures. What makes love real, she's decided, has nothing to do with how much you're willing to sacrifice.


Song: Ethereal

Composer: Punch Deck

Website: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3M9CX5HWSw25k5QL3FkDEA

License: Creative Commons (BY 3.0) https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Music powered by BreakingCopyright: https://breakingcopyright.com

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