Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast Play Therapy Parenting: Real Parenting Questions Answered by a Child Therapist
| Titre | Date | Durée | |
|---|---|---|---|
| S3E13 - Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Why Kids Fight for Control (and What to Do About It) | 13 Nov 2025 | 00:12:07 | |
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I talk about one of the biggest underlying causes of difficult behavior — a child's need for control. When kids feel like they have very little say in their world, they look for places where they can take control, and those power struggles often show up in everyday routines. I explain the five main areas where children naturally assert control — toileting, sleeping, eating, talking, and obedience — and why those struggles are less about defiance and more about a child's search for autonomy. Once parents recognize that behavior often stems from a need for control, it changes the way they respond. Giving kids small, healthy choices helps restore balance, reduce power struggles, and strengthen the parent-child relationship. Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Common References: | |||
| S3E12 - Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Moving Toward the Middle-How Parent and Child Growth Connect | 07 Nov 2025 | 00:12:03 | |
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I talk about how parents and children move toward each other during the play therapy process — and why that shared movement is essential for lasting change. I explain what happens when a child begins to grow through therapy and how that growth naturally creates change for everyone in the family. I use two simple illustrations — converging paths and the legal scales of justice — to show how families adjust as one member changes. When a child becomes the "change agent" through play therapy, it shifts the balance for everyone. The key is whether parents resist that shift or join their child in it. When parents also make changes, outcomes improve and relationships strengthen. This episode helps parents understand that therapy isn't about "fixing" a child — it's about everyone growing together. Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Common References: | |||
| S3E3 - Parent Companion for Play Therapy: How Child-Centered Play Therapy Works | 24 Sep 2025 | 00:15:51 | |
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I explain how child-centered play therapy (CCPT) actually works — and why it's different from directive play therapy. Parents often assume all play therapy looks the same, but there are big differences. In directive approaches, the therapist sets the agenda and teaches lessons. In CCPT, the child leads the process, and the therapist follows with support, acceptance, and structure. This difference matters because when children own the process, they feel safe, confident, and invested. They work through struggles in their own way, at their own pace, which leads to lasting growth in self-esteem, regulation, problem-solving, and resilience. It may look simple from the outside, but CCPT creates deep, lifelong change because it gives children the freedom and safety to tell their own story. Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Common References: | |||
| What To Do When Play Therapy Skills Don't Work! | 09 Sep 2022 | 00:32:41 | |
In this episode, I talk through what to do when your children do not respond to play therapy skills. A Mom from Utah emailed me with some frustrations implementing the 4 Pillars and asked for my thoughts. I got permission to share her situation in this episode and we go through each of the points in detail. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode: | |||
| Get On Eye Level With Kids | 29 Aug 2022 | 00:19:52 | |
A wonderful validation of what I teach parents happened to me on vacation a few weeks ago. One of the tips in the 10-week parent coaching program that I teach is to get on a kids eye level. So I did that to a kid in line at a McDonalds and you'll never believe what happened! In this episode of the podcast, I explain why being on eye level when interacting with kids is so important, how it removes the "power differential", and I talk about the connection that is formed when you get on eye level. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode: | |||
| New Baby Jealousy | 15 Aug 2022 | 00:20:25 | |
In this episode I talk through baby jealousy when a new baby is introduced to the family. These concepts also apply to other situations when a new family member is added, such as step-children, etc. But new babies are the most common situation when baby jealousy upsets the family and children dynamic. Three topics I discuss are: Dethroning, Understanding the age gap, and What to do about baby jealousy. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ | |||
| Say Less, Listen More! - Insight On How To Interact With Teens More Effectively | 13 Jul 2022 | 00:17:07 | |
We get it wrong when we interact with teens and pre-teens. At least, that was the main point of an interesting article I read this week. In this episode, I talk about how adolescence changes the dynamics of the family, and how we can make changes to the way we interact with our teens and pre-teens to maintain the relationship and connection we crave with them. My three main points in this podcast are:
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| The "Parenting Prison" - What It Is, And How To Get Out Of It | 08 Jul 2022 | 00:23:57 | |
Most parents are stuck in a "prison". I've called it the "Parenting Prison". In this episode, I'm going to tell you what the Parenting Prison is, and how to get out of it. I'll also touch on repeating familial cycles of parenting. We often parent the way we were parented (or the opposite)! I'll briefly go over several common parenting styles, and why they are all ineffective. And finally I'll discuss the #1 reason parenting responses are ineffective, and what you can do about it. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode:
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| Don't Let Disapproval Be A Lingering Voice In Your Child's Life | 02 Jul 2022 | 00:23:05 | |
I came across a quote from a book that inspired this episode... "Although she hadn't seen her parents for years, it turned out that a parent's disapproval is a powerful lingering voice that shaped and defined one's self-image". So in this episode, I discuss parental disapproval, and what a child does when they experience that. I discuss unconditional love and acceptance, which is a play therapy principle. And finally the power we have as parents in a child's life Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode: | |||
| Don't Give In To Screens! | 21 Jun 2022 | 00:20:42 | |
Over the weekend, I saw a disturbing scene play out while we were at a bowling ally, and it was a perfect example of what I call negative behavior reinforcement using devices. So in this episode, I share that story, then I explain the reasoning behind why negative behavior is reinforced with device use. As a bonus, I go into the addictive nature of screens from a neurobiology perspective. And finally, I share some listener feedback. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode:
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| The Power Of Celebrations | 10 Jun 2022 | 00:15:02 | |
In this episode, I catch you up on, and celebrate some of the things I've been involved in lately, and then I celebrate an email that I got from a Mom... She wrote me an email and it touched my heart, so I asked her if I could share it. I celebrate all of the emails and feedback that I get from you and I want you to know that I read them all and respond to all of them. So thank you for the feedback you give me and I can't express enough how much I enjoy sharing with you each week. Please email me at brenna@thekidcounselor.com with more questions and feedback. And don't forget to celebrate the relationships in your life. We have a lot to be thankful for... you don't have to look very hard to find relationships to celebrate. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ | |||
| "The Gratification Comes In The Doing, Not In The Results" | 25 May 2022 | 00:20:51 | |
"The gratification comes in the doing, not in the results" - James Dean I stumbled on this quote this week and added it to my "quote book", and I realized how this ties into the play therapy concept of encouragement perfectly! In today's episode I discuss the following topics:
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| It's Never Too Late To Build A Better Relationship With Your Kids | 12 May 2022 | 00:34:32 | |
In this episode, I help a Mom that emailed me asking for help with her 15 year old son. Based on her email and my clarifying questions that she answered, I summarized many of the issues she's having into 4 areas. First, I discuss my "Parenting Prison" theory, and how we can escape from parenting the way we were parented. Second, I talk about how to get kids "un-stuck". Third, I assure this Mom that it's never too late to work on the relationship. And finally, I talk about how screens are likely affecting the child's behavior. And to help her out, as a thank you for allowing me to share her email on the podcast, I'll be sending her a link to get ALL of my online courses for free to help her build the relationship with her son. If you email me a question to brenna@thekidcounselor.com, and I use your question in the episode, I'll send you the free link to all my online courses as well. Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/ My Newsletter Signup: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/newsletter/ My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/ Links from this episode: | |||
| S3E2 - Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Why Play Therapy Works | 18 Sep 2025 | 00:11:19 | |
In this episode of the Parent Companion for Play Therapy series, I talk about one of the biggest questions parents ask: Why does play therapy actually work? On the surface it looks like kids are just playing, but what's really happening is deep, hard emotional work. Play creates the safety and freedom children need to show their fears, frustrations, and struggles in ways they can't with words. I explain how child-centered play therapy provides the right conditions — a safe environment, a trusting relationship, and the freedom to be fully themselves — so children can process, heal, and grow. It might look simple, but it is profoundly effective, because it honors where kids are developmentally and allows them to do the emotional work they can't do anywhere else. Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Common References: | |||
| Does Your Child Have At Least One Adult Who Has An Irrational, Emotional Relationship With Them? | 01 May 2022 | 00:27:40 | |
"To develop normally, a child requires a relationship with at least one adult who has an irrational, emotional relationship with the child" - Urie Bronfenbrenner In this episode, I discuss how the development of kids is influenced by the relationships that they have, the power of acceptance of children, and the power of relationship with kids and why it's so important.
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| Teaching Kids Empathy | 06 Apr 2022 | 00:20:09 | |
Empathy is learned. Kids aren't born with it, and they mainly learn it by observing adults displaying empathy. We want our kids to show empathy when it's appropriate. Being kind and compassionate to others is a good character trait. In this episode, I talk about how kids develop empathy, how abstract reasoning plays into empathy development, and I explain a psychology term called "other orientation".
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| Overcoming "Mom Guilt" - Spending Time Vs. Being Fully Present | 18 Mar 2022 | 00:27:10 | |
I was listening to a business podcast this week, and a successful Mom/CEO said this quote when asked how she overcomes "Mom Guilt" as she runs a multi-million dollar business, while juggling being a mom. She said "Kids don't count the hours that you're with them, but they do notice if you're present." And the truth of that quote jumped out at me, and made me take notice. I immediately related it to the Play Therapy principles, called the "Be With Attitudes," that I teach in my private parent coaching course. So I wanted to share with you some practical tips, that you can put into practice immediately, that will help you become fully present with your kids during the time you spend with them. You no longer have to feel any guilt as a mom, parent, or caregiver because your child will get intentional, quality, meaningful time with you. | |||
| Why What A Child Believes Is More Important Than What A Child Knows | 13 Mar 2022 | 00:29:08 | |
Have you ever told your child something about them that you know to be true, but they just don't believe it themselves? They could be smart, athletic, funny, etc. But they may have something emotional happening that makes them believe otherwise. In this episode I share some advice about children that was given to me years ago, but impacts what I believe about kids to this day. Three points I make in this episode are:
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| Discipline Is Not About "Controlling" Your Kids! | 04 Mar 2022 | 00:24:59 | |
Do you often find yourself having to "step in" to control your child's behavior? In today's episode, I'm going to try to change your thinking about discipline. The goal of discipline is "self-regulation" on the part of the child. Otherwise, some children "keep pushing" until someone regulates for them. Wouldn't it be better if your child learned to self-regulate, instead of you having to regulate for them? This has dramatic implications into adulthood also. Finally, I talk about patience in parenting. We have to give time for the child to self-control, but we often don't give the child enough time. So I give you some advice on that as well. | |||
| Why Being "Vague" Is A Conversation Killer With Kids (How To Get More Than One-Word Answers) | 24 Feb 2022 | 00:19:50 | |
When parents realize that kids need a different type of communication, it changes the way you interact with them. I discuss three sub-topics: kids are emotional, they do not have abstract reasoning skills yet, and how concrete "parameters" within conversations are developmentally appropriate, and will pull more than one-word answers out of your kids. | |||
| "When you focus on the problem, you lose sight of the child" | 08 Feb 2022 | 00:22:58 | |
This episode continues my parenting "Rules of thumb" series [as taken from Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (Bratton & Landreth, 2019)] "When you focus on the problem, you lose sight of the child" is an important guideline to remember when dealing with parenting moments. We'll talk about how the "quick fix mentality" is not the best way to view solutions to parenting issues. I also discuss the following topics... negative vs positive framing, victim vs victor mentality, and focusing on the issue instead of the relationship. | |||
| Self-Fulfilling Prophecy | 29 Jan 2022 | 00:23:42 | |
Have you heard the (true) story of the little girl that went out every morning to get the mail, and the mailman greeted her with "Hello, Miss America!" She ended up winning the Miss America pageant. We don't understand the power that words, phrases, and expressions have on people's lives unless we understand the "magic" of self-fulfilling prophecy. This is especially true of how it affects kids... in the positive AND negative! In this episode, I talk about the internal and external labels that influence self-fulfilling prophecy. Next I cover self-dialogue, and how it influences behavior. Finally, I explore how subtle expressions can influence kids, and we might not realize that it's happening. | |||
| Research Review: Chaotic households undermine children's development of executive functioning through less responsive parenting | 14 Jan 2022 | 00:17:21 | |
In this episode, a research study referenced on psypost.org caught my eye and I wanted to share it and talk about how it reflects what I see in the playroom at my practice and my interaction with parents. In the research they make three points. First that executive functioning is compromised. I explain what that means and how it affects kids. Next, how parental responsiveness influences outcomes. Finally, how academic success is affected. Links from this episode: | |||
| "Don't Try To Change Everything At Once" | 13 Jan 2022 | 00:16:11 | |
In thinking about New Year's changes, or things you want to change in this upcoming year, I want to caution you about changing too much at once! "Don't Try To Change Everything At Once" is another episode in my "Rules of Thumb" series [as taken from Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (Bratton & Landreth, 2019)]. When thinking about change in parenting or families, I often illustrate this concept using the "scales of justice". So I'll share that concept in this episode. I also talk about the "hierarchy" of change. Finally, I'll share some tips to set yourself up for success. | |||
| S3E1 - Parent Companion for Play Therapy: New Series Intro & Adulthood Bias- Why Parents Misunderstand Their Kids | 11 Sep 2025 | 00:22:32 | |
I'm excited to kick off Season 3 of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast! This series is called Parent Companion for Play Therapy, and it's designed both for parents whose children are in play therapy and for any parent who wants to better understand their kids. Whether you're navigating the therapy process or simply looking for a new perspective at home, these episodes will give you clarity, confidence, and practical ways to connect with your child. In this first episode, I introduce the series and dive into one of the most important concepts: Adulthood Bias. This happens when we interpret children's behavior through our adult lens of logic, reasoning, and expectations. But kids don't process the world the way we do — they act and react from feelings, not logic. I share real-life examples of how Adulthood Bias shows up and explain how shifting our mindset helps us respond with curiosity and connection instead of frustration. This mindset shift is the foundation for everything else we'll cover this season. Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Common References: | |||
| You Don't Know What You Don't Know | 04 Jan 2022 | 00:13:56 | |
Stop beating yourself up over things that you don't know! In this episode, I go over a concept that I call the "Parenting Prison". I'll explain what that is and how to get out. Next I discuss that there is no guilt or blame in not knowing something. Our parenting is often passed down through generational cycles, so I discuss how this relates to the Parenting Prison. Finally, there is freedom in the acquisition of knowledge. Learning how to parent better is a liberating experience for you and your whole family. | |||
| Concerning Medical And Behavior Issues Emerging From Social Media Use (Especially In Teens and Girls) | 10 Dec 2021 | 00:25:05 | |
I read an article that reinforces, from a medical standpoint, that social media is really harmful for our kids. A callout from the article: "Turns out the poorly regulated, 24-hour content mill of being Extremely Online is really threatening to our mental health!" I already knew this, but what is alarming is that the influences are going beyond mental health... social media (and this case, specifically TikTok videos) are affecting kids from a medical/physical standpoint. Links from this episode:
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| Are Schools Pushing Kids Too Far, Too Fast? | 07 Dec 2021 | 00:23:07 | |
Did you have to take a career class... in middle school? Did you learn pre-algebra... in 6th grade? In this episode, I'm exploring the question: Are schools pushing kids too far, too fast? First, I read a letter from my son's school that was the spark for this episode topic. Then I talk about what I'm calling the "separation of home and state". And finally, I end with a topic that I'm calling the "content push". After you listen to this episode, I'd love to hear from you.. if you agree, or disagree. Email me at brenna@thekidcounselor.com. Links from this episode: | |||
| Birth Order - How It Affects Your Child's Personality (w/ Focus On Only Children) | 02 Dec 2021 | 00:34:15 | |
In this episode, I'm diving into Birth Order, and how that affects your children's personalities. I'm going to spend a little time on only children, in particular, but I do give an overview of first, middle, and babies of the family, so this episode has some great content if you have any number of children! My three main topics in this podcast are: the universal norms of birth order, what role-reversals, hybrids, and blends looks like and how that affects a child's personality, and then we will look at the unique subset of only children. | |||
| 3 Reasons Why We Chose To Homeschool (Probably Not The Reasons You're Thinking) | 19 Nov 2021 | 00:26:48 | |
Increased screen use in school, homework load, and lack of time to just play. We have always monitored our son's schooling, but this year, in his transition to middle-school, my husband and I were alarmed at how school was taking over our lives. I'm not trying to convince anyone to homeschool in this episode. There's important information in this podcast for all parents... homeschoolers, those thinking about homeschool, and those not ever going to homeschool! I just want you, as a concerned and involved parent, to consider these three factors and objectively assess how school is impacting your family. Links from this episode: | |||
| 10 Things Not To Say To Your Kids (A Comparison) | 11 Nov 2021 | 00:24:32 | |
Do you say "Good job"? "That's what happens when..."? "If you do that again..."? I found a parents.com blog post titled "10 Things You Should Never Say to Your Kids", and I compare several of the "things" in this post to my 2011 post titled "10 Things Not To Say To Your Kids". Links from this episode: | |||
| Three Red Flags That Prove You're More Successful Than You Think (At Parenting) | 04 Nov 2021 | 00:19:38 | |
Have you ever second-guessed yourself as a parent? Do you ever feel like you are not as successful as you want to be in your parenting? In this episode we look at three common "red flags" that might make you think you're failing, but are actually an indicator of success! | |||
| Parenting Styles - Why Authoritative Is The Best | 20 Oct 2021 | 00:29:52 | |
Do you wonder if your parenting style is helpful or harmful to your children's long-term well being? In this episode, we look at the characteristics of the Authoritative Parenting Style, which is categorized by high levels of both demandingness and responsiveness. We discuss the characteristics of authoritative parenting, the outcomes it produces in children, and a contrast with the other parenting styles. | |||
| "I Hate My Life!" - What To Do When Your Child Says This, Or Other Shocking Things | 05 Oct 2021 | 00:31:06 | |
If you have a young child between, say, 5 and 11, you've probably heard something shocking come out of their mouth like "I hate my life", or "I wish I were never born". In this episode of the podcast, I talk about how most parents respond in one of three ways. Then I discuss how to discover the emotion behind what they are saying and why that is the most important step in dealing with this. Finally, I give you a play therapy based way to respond to this that diffuses the emotions and preserves the relationship with your child. | |||
| "Parenting Hacks For 2021" - My Observations | 29 Sep 2021 | 00:34:31 | |
If you follow this podcast, you know that I teach fundamentals and foundational parenting skills from a play therapy perspective. I do like to keep my "finger on the pulse" of parenting, and I search what's going on in the parenting world every so often. For a long time I have noticed that the posts that get the most attention (or at least that are at the top of search results for parenting) are "tips" and "secrets" type information. A post from Lifehacker.com made it to the top of the search results titled "16 of Our Best Parenting Hacks of 2021 So Far". After I read this post, I was happy to notice that several of these "hacks" were rooted in play therapy principles and fundamental teaching! It's nice to see that you can "hack" your parenting with play therapy!! | |||
| S2E52 - Effectively Handling Power Struggles with Your Strong-Willed Child | 04 Sep 2025 | 00:15:40 | |
In this episode, I answer follow-up questions from a listener named Brianna about managing challenging behaviors with her 9-year-old daughter. We talk about how to handle situations where kids refuse to make choices, how to give choices effectively without creating power struggles, and how to respond when children act out as a way to regain control. I also touch on common issues like initiating fights, boredom-related misbehavior on road trips, and emotional reactions in friendships. If you've ever struggled with giving your child power in healthy ways, especially during tense moments, this episode offers practical tools to help. You'll learn specific phrases to use, the importance of offering choices proactively (not just during discipline), and how to set calm, neutral limits that lead to more cooperation and less conflict. Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Common References: | |||
| A "Revolutionary" Thing: Empathizing And Listening To Your Kids - A Dad's Story | 22 Sep 2021 | 00:23:08 | |
In this episode, I discuss a story about a Dad that does something "revolutionary"... he tried something new to help his son's tantrums and meltdowns. | |||
| Finding A Balance Between Kids And Device Use | 13 Sep 2021 | 00:23:28 | |
Are you concerned that your kids spend too much time on devices? Do you wonder if there's a happy medium between no enough and too much? In this episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, I discuss these questions, plus... The America Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) guidelines for device usage by age, How to track how much device time your child is actually getting each day, and I give you a practical tool for you use that helps your kids "earn" screen time, and helps you balance how much time they are getting. | |||
| My "Field of Dreams" Story - If I Build It, Will They Come? | 08 Sep 2021 | 00:17:17 | |
In this episode I talk about my own "Field of Dreams" story. If you know me well, you'd know that I'm a huge baseball fan, and recently, the "Field of Dreams" game was played between the Yankees and White Sox played on the corn field from the movie. It reminded me that I'm in my own "Build it and they will come" moment in my life and business. | |||
| The "4 Pillars of Play Therapy" - A training presentation I gave to the 300 school and guidance counselors from the Hillsborough County School System in the Tampa, FL area. | 31 Aug 2021 | 01:22:51 | |
This is a special episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast. I was invited to give a training/presentation to the 300, or so, school and guidance counselors from the Hillsborough County School System on Play Therapy techniques. So during this hour training, they were exposed to the philosophies and principles of play therapy, the "4 Pillars of Play Therapy", and then some bonus topics, including the impact excessive device use is having on kids today. [parts of content taken from Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (Bratton & Landreth, 2019)] References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute. | |||
| "I Wonder" Statements - How To Get Better, More Meaningful Responses From Your Kids | 19 Aug 2021 | 00:20:35 | |
I wonder how often you get frustrated when your child responds with one-word answers. (See what I did there?) Using "I wonder" statements with your children is one of the greatest techniques that play therapists use to interact with kids on their emotional level to bring out meaningful responses. In this episode, I explore the topics of questions vs. statements, "if you know enough to ask a question, then you can make a statement". and finally, the importance of keeping kids in their hearts. | |||
| "I Love My Kids, But I Don't Like Parenting" | 16 Jul 2021 | 00:18:37 | |
In this episode, I comment on a blog post I saw on todaysparent.com that I couldn't ignore. "I love my kids, but I don't like parenting—and I know I'm not alone". So I'll unpack my thoughts on that by first exploring my opinion that many parents may feel like this because they are not properly equipped. Second, I explore how our reality as parents and our expectations as parents might be too divergent, and this is what's causing some parents to experience these feelings. | |||
| "Encourage The Effort Rather Than Praise The Product" | 15 Jul 2021 | 00:18:10 | |
This is a continuation of the "Rules of Thumb" series [as taken from Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (Bratton & Landreth, 2019)] "Encourage the effort rather than praise the product". Encouragement is probably the most important tool in your parenting toolbox even though you probably don't use it! In this episode I talk about the difference between praise vs. encouragement, the difference between outcome vs effort, and internal vs. external motivation. Learning to encourage instead of praise is instrumental in raising self-motivated, and self-empowered children that have high self-esteem. References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute. | |||
| "Never Do For a Child That Which They Can Do For Themselves" | 01 Jul 2021 | 00:13:01 | |
You will never know what your child is capable of unless you allow them to try! I know it's hard to watch your child struggle with something, like opening lids on a jar, or tying their shoes, or trying to pack and lug around their sports bag, but did you know that when you constantly do things for your kids, you might be "programming" them for "learned incompetence" or "learned helplessness". This is in contrast to your child positively learning that they can do things for themselves, they just need to build their competence and confidence to do so, and you can help them by letting them "struggle" a little bit. So as long as they are at the age where it's appropriate for them to do that task, such as tying their own shoes at 5, or carrying their own baseball bag at 8, then you help them build their confidence and skills to handle their own problems in the future, instead of being in a state of perpetual helplessness. In this episode, I unpack all of these points as we dive into the Rule of Thumb from the CPRT training, "Never do for a child that which they can do for themselves". [as taken from Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (Bratton & Landreth, 2019)] References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute. | |||
| Adding Structure to your Summer Prevents Behavior Issues | 25 Jun 2021 | 00:16:21 | |
We are a month into summer... are your kids driving you nuts? It could be that you need to add some structure back into your kids lives to prevent behavior issues. In this episode, I talk to you about the importance of structure and schedule in kid's lives, I give you a quick tip for the top 3 causes of behavior problems, and finally, why summer scheduling and structure is important for adults also. The path to calm, confident, and in-control parenting starts now! | |||
| "You can't give away what you do not possess." - How can you extend acceptance to your child if you don't extend it to yourself? | 14 Jun 2021 | 00:16:58 | |
This is a continuation of the "Rules of Thumb" series from the Child-Parent Relationship Therapy curriculum, which is the core training used in my In-Home Play Therapy program. "You can't give away what you do not possess." is a reminder that you need to be good to yourself as a parent, in order to grant patience, acceptance, and grace to your kids. References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute. | |||
| S2E51 - Toilet Training at 9 or 10? You're Not Alone—and There Is Hope for Older Kids | 27 Aug 2025 | 00:14:18 | |
In this episode, I respond to a listener question from a mom struggling with her nearly 10-year-old son's ongoing toileting issues. If you've ever felt isolated, frustrated, or overwhelmed because your child isn't toilet trained at an age when society says they "should be," you are not alone. I walk through why toileting can be an anxiety-driven control issue, especially for children on the autism spectrum, and how to start a compassionate, step-by-step desensitization process to bring about change—without shame, punishment, or pressure. This episode is especially important if your older child is still having accidents or refusing to use the toilet, even after years of effort. I help you reframe this issue through a child-centered lens, emphasizing regulation, consistency, and empathy. Most of all, I want to give you hope: this can change, and your child can succeed. You are not failing, and your child is not broken. Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com Common References: | |||
| "Digital Pacifiers" - Why Screen Use Is Harming, And Ruining Our Relationships With Our Kids | 07 Jun 2021 | 00:22:03 | |
Another Memorial Day weekend observation... I couldn't believe how many families were at our hotel (poolside, restaurant, lobby, etc.) all ignoring each other, with their faces glued to their "Digital Pacifiers!" The use by both adults and children was alarming. We need to be aware of how much screen time our children have, and realize how badly it is damaging the relationship we have with our kids. We also need to educate ourselves that psychologists, psychiatrists, and neuro-biologists are hired by these gaming companies, specifically to make devices, games and social media MORE ADDICTIVE. Finally, start being aware that as kids use more devices, diagnoses for anxiety is increasing dramatically. As a result, the prescribing of anxiety medication for kids has increased astronomically. We're also starting to see specialized facilities for "detoxing" off devices springing up nationwide. Device overuse in kids is spiking at an alarming rate, and if we don't start educating ourselves about the dangers, and making changes in our families, we are going to see generations of kids that are anxious, socially isolated, and addicted. | |||
| Why Reasoning Doesn't Work with Kids | 04 Jun 2021 | 00:21:31 | |
While my family was on a weekend getaway over Memorial Day weekend, I couldn't help but do some people watching while I was sitting by the pool, reading a book. I witnessed a perfect example of why it's futile to reason with a kid (a 4 year old, at that!) In this episode, I explore this concept of kids not having reasoning skills, how trying to reason with them often escalates the situation, and how a different tactic in responding to a child can completely change the outcome of what would normally be a frustrating situation. The path to calm, confident, and in-control parenting starts here! | |||
| "What's most important may not be what you do, but what you do after what you did!" | 27 May 2021 | 00:18:00 | |
"We are certain to make mistakes, but we can recover. It is how we handle our mistakes that makes the difference." This is such a great rule-of-thumb from the Child-Parent Relationship Therapy training that is the curriculum in my In-Home Play Therapy program. In this episode I talk about how if your relationship with your kids is broken somehow, that you need to fix it. When you do, you are modeling for your kids how to handle these situations. And finally, this rule of thumb teaches our kids ownership of their behavior. - The path to calm, confident, and in-control parenting start now! References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute. | |||