Have you wanted to bring a sex toy into the bedroom but been worried about your partner’s response? It can be a scary ask! Maybe you’re worried about hurting your partner’s feelings, maybe you don’t even own one yet. Well, we think sex toys can be an incredibly useful way to balance the orgasm gap and increase pleasure! So in this episode, we’re going to help you introduce sex toys into the bedroom (but without making it weird)! Links & Resources: Recommended Products Guide: Ultimate Foreplay Guides Guide: Next Level Intercourse If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks HelloFresh. For FREE breakfast for life go to HelloFresh dot com slash freepillow. Thanks OneSkin. Get started today with 15% off using code PILLOW at oneskin.co. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“When mommy and daddy lock the bedroom door…” We’ve all been there at some point in our childhood when someone sat us down and talked to us for the first time about sex. Odds are it was probably awkward, uncomfortable, and maybe left you with more questions than before. In this episode, we’re digging into all of your true stories about how “The Talk” was given to you, and we’re sharing our stories too. So if you’ve ever wondered how similar your first conversation about sex is to someone else, this is an episode you can’t miss. Links & Resources: Course: How To Talk To Your Kids About Sex If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow. Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get ready for the highly anticipated third act to one of our most popular episodes yet - Is This Normal? You’ll get answers to questions like: Is it normal that my husband isn’t instantly turned on when he sees me naked? Is it normal to never have masturbated? Is it normal to get the ick from my husband whom I truly love? And so much more! Prepare to laugh, cringe, and nod your head in recognition as we address your questions head-on! Links & Resources: Next Level Intercourse If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks HelloFresh. Go to hellofresh.com/pillowapps for FREE appetizers for life! Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever been having intercourse and thought to yourself, “Oh, this hurts, and not in a good way…”?   Research shows that a whopping 1 in 3 vulva owners said this happened to them the LAST time that they had intercourse. But sexual pain is something that is rarely discussed, leaving so many to suffer in silence.   Nobody deserves to feel pain during sex. While the source can be complicated, sometimes a few simple tweaks can make all the difference. Let us walk you though what you may be overlooking, so we can take you from groaning in pain to moaning in pleasure.   Links & Resources: Be sure to pre-order our new book, Sex Talks, by going to sextalksbook.com Guide: The Ultimate Foreplay Guides Guide: Next Level Intercourse   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com and get 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS Thanks StoryWorth. Get $10 off your first purchase at StoryWorth.com/pillow   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode72 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You saw the question box. You dug deep and swung for the fences. Now buckle up, because it is our turn at bat and we are gonna get SPICY in this episode!   That’s right, it’s time for “Ask Us Anything”- extra spicy edition 🔥   On Instagram we asked you to challenge us with your most personal questions, and boy did you deliver! Our team gave us a list of questions, and we sat down to record without discussing any of our answers first.   We really go there, deep diving into our dating history, favorite positions, fantasies, burst ear drums, and more. It’s a roller coaster of emotions as we get vulnerable, admit some hard truths, and reveal some things we have never said to each other, much less on air.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow.   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode71 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most couples believe that trying to get pregnant will be one of the sexiest, most intimate periods of their relationship. But if you don’t get pregnant right away, things can quickly take a turn - worrying that something is wrong, fear that it will never happen, the medical appointments, the pressure, the schedules…   With all that stress, it’s no wonder that your sex life can really suffer while trying to conceive.   Today we’re sharing 5 ways to protect your relationship during your TTC journey. It’s a heavy topic, but we’ll try to make you laugh along the way.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Get $400 off all mattress orders plus 2 free pillows at birchliving.com/pillow    Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode70 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Xander is back in the hot seat today answering the tough questions... What do guys REALLY think about lingerie? Can they handle a woman who makes more money or has a higher sex drive? When it comes to breasts, do they care about size or symmetry? Nipple size or color?   We also polled the men in our Instagram community so we could take an even deeper look at the male psyche.   And we even talk about the two topics that have caused some serious issues in our relationship.   Don’t miss the laughter, the deep dives, and return of Xander’s dulcet tones serenading the podcast!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks, Green Chef! Go to GreenChef.com/60pillow and use code 60pillow to get 60% off, plus 20% off your next 2 months   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode69 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No, you’re not having deja vu… Butt Stuff is back!   We originally released a Butt Stuff episode almost a year ago, and it has consistently been one of our top 5 episodes. It has been so popular that we decided to turn it into a course… conveniently named Butt Stuff as well 🤣   In celebration, we decided to re-record a podcast episode with all of your most pressing questions. We cover everything in this episode! Hemorrhoids, hairy buttholes, safety, straight dudes being on the receiving end, and the one big fear that so many of us have… will there be poop?!   We know there’s some fear and anxiety surrounding the back door, because 72% of our Instagram audience said they’re intimidated by butt stuff. But with 67% admitting to still being curious, we decided to bust those myths and give you the facts so you can decide if anal play is worth a try. (Pssst! It is!)   Links & Resources: 👉 ⁠⁠Butt Stuff 🍑 (only available inside of DEEPER)⁠  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode68     Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Definition of hot take: a quickly produced, strongly worded, and often deliberately provocative or sensational opinion or reaction. You guys are always asking us for our “hot takes” on some of the most divisive sex topics like threesomes, strip clubs, pegging, 69, and even the age old spit vs swallow debate, so we decided to put them all together in one episode!   We’re getting real and holding nothing back as we dish on over a dozen hot topics that you sent in. (Spoiler alert: we don’t agree on all of them!) Some of our answers may surprise you, but we promise you will be entertained.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow.   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode67 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You’ve asked us over email, Instagram, YouTube, everything short of a carrier pigeon… How the heck did we get into the sex therapy business? And do we manage working and living together every day as a married couple? The time has come for us to share all the details about our business, from how we started to where we are now.   You’ll hear about it all… Vanessa floundering to figure out her path. Why we moved to Berlin. Xander’s identity crisis. Our most embarrassing moments, and plenty of business “fails.” We get vulnerable about the good, the bad, and the ugly of the journey that took us from corporate hell to living out our dreams together.   And stick around to the end to be the first to hear what’s coming next!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Get $400 off all mattress orders plus 2 free pillows at BirchLiving.com/pillow   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode66 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Let’s talk about the thing that keeps you up at night. The thing that you don’t bring up over drinks with friends. The thing that you don’t even admit to yourself if we are being honest.   Let’s talk about the shame surrounding sex.   Our Instagram audience tells us that 74% of us have experienced it in our lifetime, with 30% currently going through it. (But we’d bet real money that both of those numbers are much higher.) There are so many things that plague us when it comes to sex: body counts, sexual identities, doing things “the right way”, doing something too much or not enough or not at all.   It’s EXHAUSTING, but it doesn’t have to be!   Sex should be about pleasure and joy, freedom and exploration, certainly not about worry and regret. In this episode, we walk you through reprogramming the way you approach sex in your life, in 7 steps.   Links & Resources: PDF Guide: 7 Steps to Deconstructing Sexual Shame   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Go to GreenChef.com/60pillow and use code 60pillow to get 60% off plus free shipping.   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode65 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you worried you’ve lost the spark in your relationship? We asked our Instagram audience, and the numbers were shocking! A whopping 91% said their relationship has gone through a Roommates Phase, and 46% said they’re in one right now.   So why does it seem like no one is talking about the Roommates Phase?   In this episode we do a deep dive into what the Roommates Phase means, and how to get out of it before it’s too late. Let us help you end the drought and get back that lovin’ feelin’!   (Psst - Xander even sings about it within the first four minutes of this episode…)   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow.   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode64 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever find yourself feeling kinda… disappointed after intercourse with your partner?   Or worse, faking it just to “get it over with”?   Maybe you’ve tried talking to him about it and telling them you need more, but he got defensive and nothing changed.   This episode has been a long time coming! We hear SO many stories from our audience about how men just don’t prioritize female pleasure as much as they should.   There are a lot of reasons why there’s such a huge orgasm gap in male-female sex, so we break it down into 3 main categories, complete with real-life examples. (Including an example from our own relationship!)   We firmly believe that everyone who wants an orgasm, gets an orgasm. This episode will take you through, step-by-step, exactly to make sure that happens!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode63 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we’re getting ULTRA personal, and answering all your questions about our recent experience in couples therapy. Do we think therapy sometimes digs up stuff that wasn’t a problem? Do we ever hope our therapist takes our side? And of course, the big question that everyone wanted to know… WHY are we in couples therapy in the first place? (We got really vulnerable and emotional with this one…) We hope these topics (and our sometimes controversial answers) start some conversations that you never knew you needed to have! Links & Resources: Our Courses & Guides Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com and get 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS Thanks Helix. helixsleep.com/pillow and get 30% off. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you sick of fighting about money in your relationship? Maybe you’ve even thought you and your partner are incompatible because of how differently you both think about spending and saving. Trust us, you’re not alone!   This episode is for you if you feel like you need to keep purchases a secret. Or maybe you’re just exasperated by how much money your partner spends. We know how easily that tension and resentment can build.   Today we’ll be addressing money issues within relationships advice column style — with real life stories and questions from our audience. As we help them troubleshoot, we’ll be giving easy to implement tips on approaching money issues in relationships.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode62 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you struggling to have a great sex life now that you’re a mom?   As women, we wear so many hats and have so many identities. We’re wives, girlfriends, daughters, sisters, friends, and mothers. But what happens when these identities feel like they’re in conflict with one another?   A whopping 91% of our Instagram followers said their sex life got harder after kids. We heard things like, “It’s hard to feel confident in my new body,” “Everyone always needs something, and I’m tired of giving,” and, “I’m just EXHAUSTED!”   In this episode, we’re here to give you practical tips to creating the sex life you deserve!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode61 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You read all the books, listen to all the podcast episodes, and do all the meditations and affirmations. But your partner won’t even read a dang Instagram caption!   What do you do if you value self-improvement and personal development, but your partner just can’t be bothered - or even flat-out refuses?   In today’s episode, we’re giving you the tips and tools to get your partner invested in becoming the best version of themselves.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode60 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode we’re diving into something that 74% of our audience have never done - roleplay!   Most people think that roleplaying feels awkward and uncomfortable. They worry about not knowing who to roleplay, not being able to get or stay in character, and generally embarrassing themselves.   But we think that roleplaying can be a whole lot of fun - and can even be a great way to feel more present in the bedroom!   So in today’s episode, we’re going to give you our step-by-step roadmap for easing into roleplaying, and discovering your confidence!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode59 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s episode is about one of the most underrated sex acts that you’re probably not doing… mutual masturbation!   Even if your face is already beet red, we’re going to do our best to convince you why masturbation isn’t something you should do alone or in secret.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode58 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“Should I have to stop hanging out with my ex because my girlfriend said so?”   “Is it my husband’s job to say something to my rude in-laws?”   We’re answering these spicy questions and many more in today’s episode of Pillow Talks!   Most of us get annoyed by things our partner says or does — but is it their problem, or ours? Is it their responsibility to fix, or is it something we need to learn how to live with? Today we’re answering the question, “Is this your shit or mine?”   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode57 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every day we get DMs from women asking Xander what men REALLY think about everything from pubic hair to emotional intimacy.   We decided we had to devote an entire podcast episode to this topic, so we gathered your most common questions and concerns, and put Xander in the hot seat. We also asked the men in our Instagram audience for their feedback. We’re giving you an invaluable peek inside the hearts and minds of men all over the world.   Topics include: Cellulite How many sexual partners a woman has had Do men compare their partner to others? Vulvas (smell, look, taste) Giving oral sex   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode56 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Love it or hate it, 69 is one of the most infamous sex acts. We just had to give it it’s own episode, especially since today is also 6/9.   We’re sharing how we really feel about 69, plus 6.9 amazing tips for having the most fun in this position. You also do not want to miss the hilarious stories our audience shared with us!   But that’s not all! It’s also the 1 year anniversary of the Pillow Talks Podcast! We asked you for your favorite moments and jokes from the year, and we’re sharing some of your answers. It’s a really fun walk down memory lane!   Links & Resources: Online Courses & Guides   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode55 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We were WRONG.   Well, Vanessa was. She thought there was no way our last Ask Us Anything episode would be popular, but it ended up being one of our most listened-to episodes!   So we decided to do a Part 2 with more of the most asked and most interesting personal questions we’ve gotten.   We’re talking about: What we fight about What we won’t do sexually Vanessa’s ultra-personal therapy update What our families think about us being in the sex therapy business What we keep private from our Instagram audience And so much more!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks StoryWorth. Get $10 off your first purchase at StoryWorth.com/pillow   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode54 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever read a romance novel or watched a sex scene and felt turned on by reading or seeing something kinda kinky that you’ve never even thought of doing in the bedroom before?   Maybe you like the sex you’re having now, but you’ve heard of some naughty things that make you a little…curious.   This episode is your introduction to kink: what it is, why you might want to experiment with it, and how to actually go about trying it in a safe, healthy way!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Go to GreenChef.com/60pillow and use code 60pillow to get 60% off plus free shipping.   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode53 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are these four communication mistakes ruining your relationship? In today’s episode we’re revealing the Four Horsemen. Researcher John Gottman discovered that these specific communication pitfalls could predict divorce with over 90% accuracy! We’re breaking down what they are, how to know if you’re doing them, and what to do to have better communication going forward. Links & Resources: Our Courses & Guides Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You’re innocently folding the laundry, just minding your own business, when your partner comes up behind you, brushes your hair away from your ear and whispers “I want you. NOW.” They order you to take off your clothes. They push you down onto the bed, and ravage you from head to toe.   We’ve all had this fantasy, right? It’s SO sexy to think about your partner taking control.   But what is it about this control fantasy that’s so appealing?   You might be surprised to find out...   If you’ve ever wanted your (male) partner to take control in the bedroom, this episode is a must-listen!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode52 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“Why should I have to flirt with my partner? We’ve been together forever!”   A lot of us in long-term relationships feel hesitant to flirt with our partner. It feels awkward, clunky, or just plain unnecessary.   But flirting is an amazing way to ignite that spark you once had and remind you of those exciting early days of your relationship.   Most importantly: flirting can make both of you feel SO good about the way you see each other.   We know it can feel daunting to flirt with your partner, especially if you’re out of practice or don’t consider yourself good at it, so we’re doing a whole episode on exactly how to flirt.   Even if you feel like flirting “isn’t for me” or doesn’t come naturally to you, we promise that this episode will boost your confidence and have you trying out some new techniques ASAP — and don’t blame us if things get a little sweeter (and spicier)! 😉   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode51 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You know that thing you really want to tell your partner but you just... don’t know how?   Maybe you’re nervous, you really don’t want to hurt their feelings, or it feels like the time is never right.   Well, you’re not alone!   Our Instagram audience hit us with alllll the things they wish they could tell their partner, and we’re giving them our best advice for how to keep it real while avoiding the dreaded “we need to talk” opener.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks StoryWorth. Get $10 off your first purchase at StoryWorth.com/pillow   Check out the show notes: vmtherapy.com/episode50 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Squirting: is it real? Where does it come from? IS IT PEE?!   In this episode, we are doing a deep dive on the mystery of squirting: specifically what it is, why it happens, and how we all became so obsessed with it.   Join us for a very educational episode and learn why this topic gets Vanessa so fired up!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode49 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can’t remember the last time you had sex?   Or maybe you remember the exact day and it’s been... too long.   It’s time to talk about one of the most-dreaded issues that comes up in relationships... DRY SPELLS!   You might find yourself wondering if there’s an end in sight. Has your relationship cooled off for good? When you do have sex again, is it going to be awkward or bad, leading to yet another dry spell? Or maybe you’re scaring yourself because you don’t even miss having sex at all!   Dry spells can send you to some really dark places, but we’re here to tell you: there is hope!   In this episode, we’re giving you five tips for combatting dry spells, no matter your circumstance.   We’re also talking about preventing this issue, so even if you’re not in a dry spell right now, you don’t want to miss this episode!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode48 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You’re having a steamy makeout session with your partner, things are getting hot and heavy and leading to sex, but your partner just can’t get or stay erect. (Or maybe their erection isn’t the problem, but their orgasm is.)   What does it mean??   For most women, we think the answer lies within ourselves. We’re not hot enough. We’re not experienced enough or lacking technique. Something is wrong with our body, not theirs.   What you THINK these performance issues mean vs. what they REALLY mean are two very different animals, so in today’s episode, we are going there.   Whether your partner has trouble getting and staying hard, orgasming too quickly/taking too long to orgasm, we’re talking about how these issues have affected us in our relationship and giving you all of our best tips for navigating them in (and out) of the moment.   And, spoiler alert, this episode turned into a mini therapy session for us!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode47 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’re like many people, hygiene seems pretty basic. Take a shower, brush your teeth, wear deodorant, what’s so hard about that?   So you may find yourself confused about why your partner can’t seem to take good care of themselves.   How can your partner expect you to want to kiss them, have sex with them, or even be attracted to them in the first place if they haven’t kept up basic hygiene habits?   In today’s episode, we’re tackling the topic you’ve been dying for us to address: your partner’s hygiene - or lack thereof.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode46 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is squirting really just pee? Can pineapple make your vulva taste and smell sweet? What the heck is the deal with belly button sex??   We turned to Instagram to ask, “What’s something you’ve heard about sex and aren’t sure if it’s true?”   Some of these urban legends are funny, some of them are damaging and harmful, and some of them are actually true!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode45 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you find yourself wishing your partner would share more about their emotions, or at least just more details about how their day went?   If your partner never opens up to you, it can leave you feeling pretty damn lonely. You may even find yourself feeling suspicious about why they won’t share more with you.   In this episode, we’re giving you practical tips on how to get your partner to “open up”, once and for all.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode44 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever been in the middle of some HOT sex and all of a sudden you start thinking about something completely unrelated? Maybe you need to get a babysitter for next weekend or you totally forgot to send that email to your boss.   Regardless of what you’re distracted by, it can be so frustrating and you can end up feeling powerless to your thoughts. You may even feel self-judgment or shame that you’re not able to stay focused during sex.   In this episode we’re giving you lots of practical tools for how you (and your partner) can navigate distractions and stay more present during sex.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode43 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Xander’s back in the hot seat answering all your burning questions about male behavior! Why do guys mansplain? Why do they struggle to find things that are right in front of their faces? Why are men always initiating when we’re right in the middle of something like doing the dishes? Why can’t they ever be vulnerable? And what’s with the obsession over the volume of their cum?? Get ready for lots of laughter and some eye-opening insights. Links & Resources: Episode 120: “Why Do Guys Do This?” Xander Explains Male Behavior If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks StoryWorth. Get $10 off your first purchase at StoryWorth.com/pillow Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“Are we sexually compatible?” This haunting question comes up in the majority of relationships at some point. So what does it actually mean when it starts to feel like you’re not sexually compatible?? Is your relationship doomed?   The answer is - it depends! In this episode, we’re digging into sexual compatibility using an exciting new model Vanessa developed! Plus, we’ll even share our own “rankings” for how compatible (and incompatible) we are.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode42 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So how DID Xander propose? How often do we really have sex? You’re about to find out in this “ask us anything” style episode, where we answer your most frequently asked, burning questions.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode41 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do when your partner initiates sex, but you’re not in the mood?   This can be one of the trickiest moments to navigate in a relationship. You might find yourself freezing up, worrying about hurting your partner, or even feeling irritated at them for initiating in the first place.   In this episode, we walk you through exactly what to do. You might even be surprised by our suggestions!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes: vmtherapy.com/episode40 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You wish your partner would do something thoughtful for you, and you definitely DON’T want to have to ask them to do it — because if you did, it wouldn’t really count as something thoughtful anymore! Right?!   This episode is the remedy for this all-too-common complaint. We’re giving you steps to take toward more intentional, joyful moments for both you and your partner.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode39 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There are two types of people: those who need to feel connected before having sex, and those that need to have sex in order to feel connected. In a cruel twist of fate, relationships typically have one of each type of person. This can lead to a stand-off situation that often manifests in long dry spells or straight up bad sex.   In this episode, we give our surprising (and perhaps controversial) answer to what comes first — emotional or physical connection, and talk about how to end the ‘stand-off’ once and for all.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode38 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One of the most frequent questions we get is, “Do you have kids?” Followed closely by “why don’t you have any?” While it hasn’t always been an easy journey, we’ve gotten to a place where we’re really comfortable and confident in our choice to be child-free. So today’s episode is all about how we got there!   We get deeply vulnerable and yes, tears were shed. We’re answering your burning questions and discussing how we decided to be child-free, the way we told our families and how they reacted, and the feelings that come up around knowing we won’t have children.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode37 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do when your partner says something hurtful that you just can’t shake, even months or years later? Is it something you can grow and heal from or is it simply a deal breaker?   This advice-column style episode dives into the “grey area” of relationships. We’ll hear stories from members of our community who are sharing their most harrowing ‘can we come back from this?’ moments and give our best advice on how to move forward.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode36 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Has your partner ever done a task so poorly or asked you so many questions that you finally just said “fine, I’ll do it myself!”? This is called weaponized incompetence, and while your partner may not mean for it to be, it can be harmful in a relationship. In this episode we’re going to talk about how to identify weaponized incompetence, how it shows up in OUR relationship, and what to do if you or your partner are doing this.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode35 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all want to feel desired, but so often in relationships we get into a place where it feels like one partner wants the other more.   If you’re the higher desire partner, you’re probably feeling lonely and scared - scared that your partner might not be into you, and scared that you’ll get rejected if you initiate any kind of sex or intimacy. In fact, you may even be withholding affection for fear of being turned down!   If you’re the lower desire partner, you might be feeling ashamed, like there’s something wrong with you. You may even be tempted to start giving your partner half-hearted sex or intimacy in an attempt to appease them.   Unfortunately, none of these techniques end up being very successful, and in fact tend to only reinforce the feeling of imbalance.   In this week's podcast episode, we show you how to unravel these painful dynamics.   Links & Resources: Rediscovering Desire Mental Load Workbook Initiation 101 Masterclass Check out our YouTube channel   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode34 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Full transparency: we didn’t know if we were going to release this episode. We’re talking about everything from how we processed the chaos that is the holidays to whether we upheld our “Holiday Classic” sex pact.   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode33 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When the spark dies off in a relationship, it’s really easy to blame it on libido. But is libido actually the problem? In this episode, we reveal the truth about sex drive and ask a big question, “does libido even matter?” Links & Resources: Ultimate Foreplay Guides Next Level Intercourse Art of Initiation Go to Zocdoc.com/pillow and download the Zocdoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is all about making 2022 the best year of your relationship yet! Get our five favorite sustainable and actionable tips for making your relationship a priority next year.   Links & Resources: The Sex Challenge  Ultimate Foreplay Guides Sex Position Playbook Mental Load Workbook Follow us on Instagram Get on our email list   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode32 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever thought about opening up your relationship? Have WE ever thought about opening up our relationship? Some see it as a necessity to fully express their sexuality while others think it might be the perfect salve for a hurting relationship. One thing’s for sure, open relationships are subject to a lot of misconceptions. Tune in to find out what open relationships are all about, and find out if WE are taking the steps toward this relationship structure.   Links & Resources: The Sex Challenge   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode31 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Having sex when there are guests around (or when you are a guest in someone's home) can be a major source of anxiety — but sometimes you just HAVE to do it! Today, we're going to walk you through how to respectfully, discreetly get down wherever you're spending the holidays.   Links & Resources: Follow us on Instagram! We share so much behind the scenes content and you can participate in our Instagram polls for the podcast!   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Check out the show notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode30 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices