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TitreDateDurée
Bedroom Games: Fun and Flirty Ideas 21 Aug 202400:10:04

Get ready to discover some cheeky and charming ways to turn up the fun and connection between you and a partner! Whether you're looking to bring a little fun into your sexy time or just have a laugh, I’ve got a lineup of games that'll make your bedroom into a playground.

More on this topic:
The Pleasure Crisis and Why Good Sex Matters
Orgasm is a Big Brain Event
Temperature Play
Exploring Erogenous Zones: Pleasure Practice

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
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The Rise in Rough Sex07 Aug 202400:39:40

Dr. Debby Herbenick wants us to know that today's trend for rough sex is different than what we might expect. Her research, as detailed in her book Yes, Your Kid: What Parents Need to Know About Today’s Teens and Sex, shows a rise in aggressive and risky behavior, often lacking the crucial communication necessary between partners. Listen in as we unpack the rise in rough sex - specifically choking. We also discuss nude images, digital safety, and the importance of having conversations around all these topics with our teenagers and young adults.

Dr. Debby Herbenick is a Provost Professor at the Indiana University School of Public Health-Bloomington, Director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion, and an AASECT-certified sexuality educator. Her research focuses on women’s sexual health, US population-representative research, as well as trends in sexual attitudes and behaviors. 

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Masturbation - Let's dig in03 Apr 202400:43:43

People masturbate for all kinds of reasons including pleasure, exploration, sleep and pain relief. For women who have never experienced orgasm, self-pleasure is the most scientifically supported sex therapy technique to learn the stimulation needed to climax. August McLaughlin, a journalist, author and host/producer of Girl Boner Radio, joins me to share her insights, and personal journey with masturbation. We discuss some practices and tips, as well as debunk a few common myths around solo sex.  

August McLaughlin is a journalist, author and host/producer of Girl Boner Radio. Her acclaimed Girl Boner book is currently in its second printing. 

Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE use code CINDY for 15% off

More on these topics:
Orgasm is a Big Brain Event with Dr. Nan Wise
The Pleasure Crisis and Why Good Sex Matters with Dr. Nan Wise
Exploring Your Perspective of Pleasure
10 Ways to be Sexual Without Masturbating
Untangling Sexual Shame
Learning to Listen to Your Body
Natural Health Benefits of Orgasm

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
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VISIT my website and blog

Tips From My Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist20 Mar 202400:37:10

All about the pelvic floor! Alexa Charbonneau, PT, DPT of Sarton Physical Therapy, joins me to offer her top tips and education for all ages and stages. Do you cough, laugh, sneeze and wet your pants? Do you have pain with sex? Do you have chronic prostatitis? While many of these might be common issues, they are not normal! The good news is there is physical therapy specifically for your pelvic floor. It may hold the solution you’ve been looking for. 

Find Alexa Charbonneau and Pelvic Healing

Visit our episode sponsor Podbeat

More on these topics:
Pelvic Floor and Painful Sex
Painful sex
Stretched out vaginas and other myths with Heather Jeffcoat

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Doggy Style, Kivin Method and Why Do I Bleed After Sex06 Mar 202400:10:40

In this quickie episode I’ll introduce you to the Kivin Method or oral for her – sideways. Hear a how-to guide and why you might want to try it. I'll also answer a few community questions including 'How can I make doggy style more intimate?' and 'Why do I bleed after sex?' Ten minutes of good education for good sex!

Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE use code CINDY for 15% off

More on these topics:
Oral Sex for Women
Guide to Lube
Positions with Props
The clitoris has a hood
The clitoris
Why female arousal takes more than 5 minutes
Trying something new
Talking with a provider about sex

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
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Sexuality With a Philosophical Lens21 Feb 202400:44:05

My guest found that her college students had very little understanding of their own bodies and how to navigate sex in a healthy way. Professor Gwendolyn Dolske Ph.D. teaches Philosophy at Cal Poly Pomona. One of her classes, Current Debates in Sexuality, gives her a unique perspective on what young adults are asking about when it comes to sex and relationships. We discuss topics such as consent, current dating culture, and the high alert status women must negotiate to feel safe in the world.

Learn more about Prof Dolske and Good is in the Details

Learn more on these topics:
Why Sex Ed Really Matters
Girls and Sex/Boys and Sex, by Peggy Orenstein
The Growing Mental Health Crisis of Our Girls
Understanding Consent and Unlearning Body Shame

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
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Erectile Dissatisfaction vs Erectile Dysfunction07 Feb 202400:13:12

People sometimes assume the source of erectile changes in men as they age is a condition called - erectile dysfunction or ED. This is not always the case. In this episode I am discussing some of the normal sexual changes men may experience in midlife and beyond. Listen to learn about normal changes in erections, sexual functioning, and desire for men.

More on these topics
Erectile changes vs. erectile dissatisfaction blog
Cam Fraser: Can Men Be Multi-Orgasmic
Scheduling Sex video blog
Three tips for boosting your arousal
Talking about sexual health with your medical provider
Medication and your sex life
The different ways to experience desire
Partner desire discrepancies

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
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Spicy Audio Stories with Gina of Dipsea24 Jan 202400:31:58

As Gina Gutierrez, the co-founder of Dipsea, says in her Ted Talk, “Using their memories, fantasies, and some focus - women can turn themselves on with their thoughts.” In this conversation, Gina and I discuss exploration of fantasy, the differences between erotica and porn, ways to figure out what turns you on, and barriers to pleasure. I like the way Gina puts it, "Your desire is not a problem to be solved, but a fire to be stoked." You may discover a new tool to spark the flame in this episode.

Use code CINDY for a free month of Dipsea Audio Stories

More on this topic
The pleasure crisis and why good sex matters
Orgasm is a big brain event
Women's Anatomy of Arousal book review
Come As You Are book review
Exploring your perspective of pleasure
Fantasy and play in the bedroom
Female arousal takes more than 5 minutes
How desire really works with Dr. Lori Brotto
Your brain and sex video

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

Conversation Starters to Help You Talk About Sex With a Partner10 Jan 202400:10:05

Most of us didn’t get a lot of education around sex, let alone how to talk about sex with a partner. Just like any new language, sexual conversation is a learnable skill that gets more comfortable with practice. Use the questions and prompts in this episode as conversation starters. Designed to be used with a partner, these are great for date night, weekend walks or on your next long drive together. Learn to talk about sex - one chat at a time.

More on this topic:
Conversation Prompts
Talking with a partner about sex
Sexual communication
Want better sex? Ask yourself these questions
Toys, Fantasy and Play in the Bedroom
Get out of your foreplay rut
Desire Styles
Partner Desire Discrepancies
Sexify your space
Sensual Play

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

Untangling Sexual Shame27 Dec 202300:39:52

My guest Matthias Roberts, psychotherapist, and author of Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms says, “Wherever there is sex, there seems to be shame.” Matthias writes and speaks nationwide about the intersections between gender, sexuality, mental health, and theology. He feels one of the first steps in fighting shame is to practice recognizing it. Together we discuss how to identify our shame, acknowledge our worthiness, and allow ourselves pleasure.

Find Matthias Roberts

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Perimenopause 101: Treatment Options13 Dec 202300:25:37

There are many options available to treat your symptoms during the menopause transition. I continue my conversation with Dr. Shyama Mathews, a Board Certified OB/GYN, and NAMS Certified Menopause Specialist about perimenopause. We discuss non-hormonal prescriptions, systemic hormonal therapy, vaginal estrogen, moisturizers, and lubricants for sex. Dr. Shyama also shares how to find qualified menopause clinicians and why we should all ask for a pelvic floor physical therapy referral.

Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE use code CINDY for 15% off

Learn more about Dr. Shyama Mathews

More on these topics:
Find a menopause practitioner through NAMS
Midlife & Menopause: Let's Go Girls with Heather
Sexual Reset for Midlife Women
Do you ever think your sex life is broken with Dr. Kelly Casperson
Tips for speeding up arousal
Pain and Sex
Guide to Lube
Pelvic Health
How to talk to a provider about sexual health

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

Perimenopause 101: Hormones and Symptoms29 Nov 202300:33:49

Education is key to entering the menopause transition knowledgeable and prepared! In this episode, learn what you need to know about perimenopause with Dr. Shyama Mathews, a Board Certified OB/GYN, Minimally Invasive Gynecologic Surgeon, and NAMS Certified Menopause Specialist. We discuss when changes start, the common symptoms experienced, and what your hormones are doing. Don’t “gut out” the menopause transition, instead feel empowered to advocate for your health.

Learn more about Dr. Shyama Mathews

Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE use code CINDY for 15% off

More on these topics:
Find a menopause practitioner through NAMS
Pain and Sex
Guide to Lube
Pelvic Health
How to talk to a provider about sexual health

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

Permission to grieve24 Jul 202400:03:44

I have lost my beloved. There are hardly any words for me right now. I have tried to give you the few I could manage in the midst of this deep grief over the sudden death of the love of my life.

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

Confidence is Sexy15 Nov 202300:45:12

"Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have." Dana B. Myers, self-described as a sensually empowered voice for women, joins me to talk about how to embrace your sensuality and sexuality to boost your confidence. Dana and I get practical with tips for sexy talk, sexy texting, and how to communicate your desires. This episode will help you feel more turned on, assertive and engaged with your sensuality for a sexier YOU!

Learn more about Dana B. Myers

More on these topics:
Foreplay using your senses
Ten ways to explore being a sexual person
Make some noise during sex
Get out of your foreplay rut
Talking about sex with a partner
Scheduling sex

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

Living With Chronic Pain: A Conversation With Ruthie Lindsey01 Nov 202300:51:05

My guest Ruthie Lindsey invites us into the liberating process of unlearning the stories we have been told about our bodies and finding delight in reclaiming pleasure. Having survived a catastrophic accident that left her living in chronic pain, Ruthie shares her journey toward embodied living and the many tools she’s found to help her along the way. Although the pain still visits her, Ruthie has found healing by learning to love and listen to her body. “Love is always inviting us back home to ourselves, to our bodies, and to healing.”

Learn more about Ruthie Lindsey

Learn more about these topics
Learning to Listen to Your Body
Dating Your Body
Unlearning Body Shame and Understanding Consent
Coming Home to Yourself with Arielle Estoria
My Letter to Young Women

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Less Faking - More Pleasure18 Oct 202300:17:28

This is the second most downloaded episode of all three seasons! Originally called Pleasure Techniques (Episode 41), I cover two important topics. First, I share the four specific techniques women can use with vaginal penetration to experience more pleasure and potential for orgasm. Then, I talk about how faking orgasms can undermine your pleasure and cause sexual miscommunication with a partner. If you’re new to my listening community, missed it the first time around, or want a refresher, give this quickie a listen. 

More on this topic
OMGyes!
Pairing demo
Shallowing demo
Rocking demo
The clitoris - it’s a network!
Questions about orgasm
The key to female pleasure
Pleasure techniques
Faking orgasms
Let’s talk orgasms

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
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VISIT my website and blog

Medications and Your Sex Life02 Oct 202300:11:21

Did you know the medications you take can have an impact on your sex life? Learn about medications known to have sexual health side effects and what those common side effects are. I also offer talking points and my best nurse tip for having a conversation with your healthcare provider about any concerns or inquiries you might have pertaining to your sexual health and the medications you are taking. Get curious and be empowered to ask questions and advocate for your health!

More on this topic
Medications and your sexual health
SSRIs and sex
Talking about sexual health with a healthcare provider

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
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FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
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Unlearning Body Shame and Understanding Consent 20 Sep 202300:27:33

Join me for a conversation with Abby, a devoted volunteer for our podcast and member of our community. We dive into the challenging waters of unlearning body shame, dismantling beliefs around our bodies and reclaiming sexual health education. Abby shares her experiences of how the pandemic era has shaped new perspectives on bodily autonomy and navigating consent. Learn more about what consent is, what it isn't and how to cultivate discussions around it.

More on this topic:
Dating Your Body
Learning to LIsten to Your Body
Coming Home to Yourself
Evolving Out of Purity Culture
Less Shame - More Sex Ed
Why Sex Ed Really Matters
Reclaim Your Arousal Mindset
My Letter to Young Woman
Exploring Your Perspective of Pleasure
10 Ways to Be Sexual Without Masturbating

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

Coming Home to Yourself: A Conversation With Arielle Estoria06 Sep 202300:38:41

Do you feel at home in your body? I had the pleasure of talking about our relationship to our bodies with the multitalented Arielle Estoria, an artist, poet, writer, and actor. Her journey of self-discovery and spirituality is beautifully chronicled in her book, 'The Unfolding: An Invitation to Come Home to Yourself. ' Her story is a testament to the transformative impact of embracing one's body for ultimate liberation.  Arielle shares the practices that allowed her to release years of self-condemnation and reconnect with her body on her own terms. Tune in and let Arielle inspire you to find home within yourself.

Find out more about Arielle Estoria

More on these topics
Learning to listen to your body
Dating your body
Evolving out of purity culture
My letter to young women
Book review: The Body Is Not An Apology
Book review: Mother's, Daughter's and Body Image

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Temperature Play23 Aug 202300:06:50

Dabbling with hot and cold sensations can be a tantalizing way to explore erotic sensuality alone or with a partner. Our bodies have so many sensitive erogenous zones that can respond to temperature changes. Play with these simple ideas to create exciting and sexy anticipation for your body and brain as you bring the heat or cool things down.

More on these topics:
Temperature Play Blog
Using Your Senses for Pleasure
Foreplay 101
Maude massage candles (code CINDY10)
Pleasurable Touch Exercise

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JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
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Sexual Reset for Midlife Women09 Aug 202300:34:26

Leah Fischer and Cass Redding, founders of Intimate Wellbeing, join me to share their individual journeys of self-discovery and finding sexual pleasure in midlife. Their paths of growth empowered them to team up and create an e-commerce platform for women. They are on a mission to provide tools and resources for enhancing intimacy and pleasure for the midlife woman, all while ending sexual health stigma.

Learn more about Intimate Wellbeing
Use discount code CINDY15 


Learn more on these topics:
Why vibrators work for women and how to choose one
Guide to lube
Midlife & Menopause with Heather
Toys,  Fantasy and Play in the Bedroom
Vibrators, Edging and Anal Sex

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

Toys, Fantasy and Play in the Bedroom26 Jul 202300:35:43

Play in the bedroom is highly underrated! Psychologist and sex therapist Carolin Klein joins me to offer tips and answer questions about toys, vibrators, and fantasy. Learn about some common fantasies and less intimidating ways to share what makes your heart race. We talk through a helpful list of dos and don’ts for choosing toys and how to introduce the idea with a partner.  Create memorable sexual experiences by bringing more play into the bedroom.

Visit our episode sponsor Intimate Wellbeing and use code CINDY15

Dr. Carolin Klein is a sex therapist and a Registered Psychologist. She is co-founder and co-director of the West Coast Centre for Sex Therapy in Vancouver, BC.

Learn more about these topics:
Why vibrators work for women and how to choose one
Why don’t I want sex as much as my partner?
Partner Desire Discrepancies 
Want better sex? Ask these questions
Vibrators, Edging and Anal Sex
Talking about sex with a partner
When your partner wants to try something new

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

Sex Ed For All Abilities12 Jul 202300:38:09

All people, regardless of abilities, are sexual beings, and deserve access to sexual health education. Mad Hatter Wellness creates comprehensive sex ed and health curriculum primarily for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. Educator Anna Hayek, their heart of operations, joins me to discuss tools, language and strategies for parents and caregivers.

Learn more about Mad Hatter Wellness

Free resources from Mad Hatter Wellness
People in My Life and Relationship Circle
Heart of Relationships with Healthy & Unhealthy chart
Anna’s Recommended Disability Educators and Activists
Eva Sweeney
Andrew Gurza
Judy Heumann

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JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
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Reconnecting to Yourself and to Your Body10 Jul 202400:49:53
This week I'm joining Kara Ryska, host of The Special Needs Mom Podcast and sharing our conversation on reconnecting to your body and redefining sensuality. Listen in as we cover some practical ways to build a practice around connecting with yourself, your needs and the sensations in your body.

Find out more about Kara Ryska and The Special Needs Mom Podcast

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
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Get Out Of Your Foreplay Rut28 Jun 202300:30:47

If you want to become a more attentive lover, start with foreplay and pre-foreplay! Meygan Caston of Marriage365 joins me to bring some sweet and spicy ways to cultivate better intimacy in and out of the bedroom. Use these ideas to create sexual tension and excitement as well as emotional safety with your partner. Learn how get out of your foreplay routine, and level up your sexual connection.

Visit our episode sponsor Intimate Wellbeing and use discount code CINDY15

Learn more about Marriage365

Learn more on these topics
Foreplay Using Your Senses
Oral Sex for Women
Temperature Play
Communication, Couples and Sex
Talking About Sex (when things aren’t great)
Sexify Your Space
Create a Sexy Playlist
Sex and Your Brain
Erogenous Zones Practice
Arousal, Role Play & Condoms

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

Oral Sex for Women14 Jun 202300:17:27

Oral sex is a highly reliable path to orgasm for women. This episode talks about creating anticipation, building arousal toward crescendo and specific tongue techniques to stimulate the clitoris and vulva. Also hear tips on positioning, when to add variety, and when to stick with consistency. Learn the signs of approaching orgasm, to help your partner go over the edge with pleasure.

Visit our episode sponsor Lovability and use code CINDY for 10% off

Learn more about these topics
The Kivin Method -Oral Sideways
Make Some Noise
Temperature Play
The Key to Women’s Pleasure
The Clitoris - it’s a network!
The Clitoris has a hood
Female Anatomy 101
She Comes First Book Review
Using Your Senses for Pleasure
Why Arousal Takes More Than 5 Minutes
Men and Sex
Talking about sex with a partner
Communication, Couples and Sex

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

Can Men Be Multi-Orgasmic?31 May 202300:26:24

Sex coach Cam Fraser returns for part two of our conversation about men and sex. We cover erections, ejaculation, and how men can experience multiple orgasms. Find out Cam's communication tip for women partnered with men, and why men need more permission to explore their bodies for pleasure and fulfilling intimacy.

Learn more about Cam's work

Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE and use CINDY for 15% off

More on these topics:
Erectile changes vs erectile dysfunction
What is edging
Vibrators, Edging and Anal Sex

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

How Toxic Masculinity Can Invade Your Sex Life17 May 202300:36:26

Cam Fraser, a therapist and licensed sex coach says the script men learn: “Get it up. Get it in. Get it off.” is ruining sex lives. He shares his story and the ways he learned to reframe his own approach to pleasure. We discuss the sex ed men and their partners need to get out of the box that says sex has to look a certain way and to move toward more fulfilling intimacy. 

Learn more about Cam's work

Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE and use CINDY for 15% off

Learn more about these topics:
Guide to Lube
Desire Styles
Boys & Sex Book Review
Erectile Dissatisfaction vs Erectile Dysfunction

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

Do You Ever Think Your Sex Life Is Broken?03 May 202300:38:08

Have you ever felt broken when it comes to your sex life? Urologist and sex expert Kelly Casperson, MD joins me to talk about her book You’re Not Broken: Stop “Should-ing” All Over Your Sex Life. We discuss what bad sex looks like, why sometimes ‘good enough’ sex is fantastic and how self-cultivation enhances your sexual health. I also asked Dr. Casperson her top tips for preventing UTIs (find them at 27:53).

Learn more about Dr. Kelly Casperson


Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube use CINDY for 15% off


More on these topics
Book review: The Body is Not an Apology
Learning to Listen to Your Body
Date Your Body
Why don’t I want sex as much as my partner (Desire styles)
Guide to lube

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

Why Is It Easier To Orgasm By Myself?19 Apr 202300:13:57

Answering your orgasm questions in this episode, including: Are all orgasms the same? Is it normal for some orgasms to be more intense than others? My orgasms have changed as I’ve gotten older, am I normal? Why is it so much easier for me to orgasm by myself, than with a partner? Can I orgasm from stimulation to my clitoral hood? What can I do to make orgasm easier?

More on this topic:
How can I orgasm easier?
Let’s Talk Orgasms
The Key to Female Pleasure
Clitoral Hood
Reclaim Your Arousal Mindset
Edging
Why Vibrators Work For Women
Pelvic Floor Health
Medications and your sexual health
SSRI's and your sex life
Talking with a provider about sexual health

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

Orgasm Is A Big Brain Event05 Apr 202300:36:14

Your brain is wired for pleasure! My conversation with Dr. Nan Wise continues as she shares her research about how your brain benefits from orgasm and pleasure and how even thinking about pleasurable stimulation lights up your brain like a Christmas tree! As she emphatically says, “Orgasm is a big brain event!” She also teaches how to lay down pleasure pathways to help those who find it difficult to orgasm. Learn about your brain-body connections and how the more you pay attention to the sensations you feel, the more you can dial them up for more pleasure.

Dr. Nan Wise is a certified sex therapist, relationship specialist, neuroscience researcher, and author of Why Good Sex Matters: Understanding the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose-Filled Life.
Learn more about Dr. Nan Wise

Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube and use code CINDY for 15% off

Learn more on these topics:
Exploring your perspective of pleasure
Why vibrators work for women and how to choose one
Natural health benefits of orgasm
The sexual accelerator and brake in the brain
Sex on the brain

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

The Pleasure Crisis and Why Good Sex Matters22 Mar 202300:35:47

Our society has a love/hate relationship with pleasure. More people than ever are experiencing anhedonia, the reduced ability to experience pleasure. Dr. Nan Wise, neuroscience researcher, certified sex therapist and author of Why Good Sex Matters, joins me to discuss why pleasure is a necessity for a balanced emotional brain. She walks us through the seven core emotional systems that give us feedback about what feels good and what is good for us. Dr. Nan expounds on how our brain is the command center for sex and a generator of pleasure. Learn more about your wired-in pleasure system and why good sex matters.

Dr. Nan Wise is a certified sex therapist, relationship specialist, neuroscience researcher, and author of Why Good Sex Matters: Understanding the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose-Filled Life.
Learn more about Dr. Nan Wise

Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube and use code CINDY for 15% off

Learn more about these topics:
The Growing Mental Health Crisis of Our Girls
Dating Your Body
Learning to Listen to Your Body
Sex on the Brain

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

Shifting The Fertility Narrative From Me To We08 Mar 202300:37:27

WeNatal caught my attention with their holistic approach to fertility. Instead of the usual focus on me - the woman, they widen it to we - and include the partner. They bring men into the fertility equation. Founders Vida Delrahim and Ronit Menashe join me to talk about the importance of preconception care, healthy practices, gratitude and a more well rounded focus for couples in the fertility season. They share their story of miscarriage, friendship and the community they are building to support families on the fertility journey.


Learn more about WeNatal
WeNatal free preconception guide


Learn more about these topics

Sex, Postpartum and Breastfeeding
Sex and Pregnancy
Intimacy During Infertility or After Miscarriage
Tips for a Better Bedroom
Sex after baby

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Positions with Props22 Feb 202300:09:36

Lifted Missionary, Chair Sex, or Sex in Heels. As Esther Perel says, “Creativity is where eroticism lives.” In this quickie episode I am highlighting three positions that make use of pillows or props. Try something new and get a little creative with these positions for more comfort, fun and erotic pleasure.

Learn more about these topics:
Pleasure Techniques Ep. 41
Pleasure Techniques on the Blog
G-spot
The Clitoris - It's a Whole Network
Sex on the Brain
Foreplay Ideas
Ten Tips to Sexify Your Bedroom
When Your Partner Wants to Try Something New

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Three Things I Would Tell My Younger Self26 Jun 202400:13:50

To celebrate my 60th birthday this week, I want to share three key insights that have significantly influenced my journey towards sexual wellness. These discoveries are crucial in helping you find the freedom to express, experience, and enjoy your sexuality. Plus, I have an exciting announcement to share!

Visit our episode sponsor UBERLUBE and use code CINDY for 15% off

More on these topics:
All About Lube
Pain and Sex
Lube. Lube. Lube.
Pelvic Health and Painful Sex
Learning to Listen to Your Body

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The Growing Mental Health Crisis Of Our Girls08 Feb 202300:44:38

Our girls are struggling more than boys. Why? Did you know that 1 out of every 4 teen girls has symptoms of major depression? This is compared with fewer than 1 in 10 boys. Girls are also twice as likely as boys to suffer from anxiety. We have a crisis on our hands. Award-winning journalist, Donna Jackson Nakazawa, joins me to discuss the topic. We talk about how the toxic stressors of social media and our culture are uniquely affecting girls' mental health. We share action steps from Donna’s book, Girls on the Brink, that you can use to help the girl in your life thrive - not just survive!

Donna Jackson Nakazawa is the author of Girls on the Brink as well as four books that explore the intersection of neuroscience, immunology, and emotion, including The Angel and the Assassin and Childhood Disrupted.  


Learn more about these topics

Learning to Listen to Your Body
Book Review: Girls and Sex, Boys and Sex
Book Review: Mothers Daughters and Body Image
Book Review: The Body Is Not An Apology
Blog: Parent-Child Journal
Coloring Book For Girls


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Misconceptions Men Believe About Sex25 Jan 202300:44:46

I invited Sheila Gregoire back to break down what women actually want from their male partners in bed. Sharing excerpts from her book, The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex, we debunk myths about the magic penis, mental load, foreplay, female arousal, and orgasm. Learn some practical ideas for increased pleasure and better sex!

Visit our episode sponsor MANSCAPED and use code PERMISSION for 20% off and free shipping

Learn more about Sheila's work

More on these topics
Ep 29 on arousal with Sheila
Sexual Scripts
Mental Load
Foreplay
Female Arousal
The Clitoris
Pleasure Techniques
Questions about orgasm
Mindfulness
Pleasure practice

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Welcome to Season Three11 Jan 202300:02:15

Welcome to Season Three! Whether you are a new listener, or have been here since the beginning - thank you for being part of this community. On this podcast we have conversations about sexual health and pleasure. Episodes include everything from interviews with experts to hearing from members of this community. This show is constantly evolving as I prioritize the topics you most want to hear about. My hope is that this community will help you to open healthy conversations and give yourself permission for pleasure.

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Exploring Erogenous Zones28 Dec 202200:06:44

Do you know your erogenous zones? Do you know your partner's? We are wrapping up season two on the podcast by revisiting one of my favorite pleasure practices. This touch exercise is a wonderful way to connect with your body and your partner's. We change, and so do our bodies, which means our erogenous zones can as well. Learn ways to communicate where you enjoy being touched, as well as what kind of touch feels good. Explore each other's bodies with this guided touch exercise.

Learn more about these topics
Pleasurable Touch Practice
Massage Candles by Maude (code CINDY10)

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Sexual Communication 14 Dec 202200:16:12

You can learn to talk about sex! It is a skill strengthened through practice. In this quickie episode, I’m offering some helpful tips and conversation prompts to get you started. Listen solo or with your partner to learn practical ways to boost your sexual communication. Topics include: sexual frequency, reasons you want to have sex, scheduling sexy dates, being honest about what you no longer enjoy, and trying new things. 

Visit our episode sponsor Sexfirmation Cards and use code CINDY for 15% off


Learn more about these topics
Talking with a partner about sex
When your partner wants to try something new
Sexify your space on the podcast
Ten tips for a better bedroom blog
Episode 35 with Dr. Jac Sherman
Communication, couples and sex
Talking about sex (when things aren't great)
Scheduling sex
Want better sex? Ask yourself these questions
Why don't I want sex as much as my partner

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Evolving Out Of Purity Culture30 Nov 202200:41:05

It is always a delight when a member of our community comes on the show to share their story. Brit "Beans" Barron is a teacher, speaker and author of Worth It.  She joins me for a conversation about her journey evolving out of purity culture. We discuss her work to unpack shame, unravel the purity narrative and embrace her sexuality as a queer woman.

Learn more about Brit's work

Learn more about these topics:
My letter to young women
Less Shame - More Sex Ed
Learning to Listen to Your Body
Reclaim Your Arousal Mindset
Let's Go Girls: Hailey from Pasadena

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'How To Build A Sex Room' - Taylor's journey16 Nov 202200:40:45

You met the delightful Taylor Stonack if you watched episode one of Netflix’s How to Build a Sex Room. Whether you've seen the show or not, you’ll be drawn into her journey which she shares with both laughter and tears. She joins me for a conversation about her experience on the show, how she became interested in kink, and what she learned about herself through the process. She shares a few un-aired moments including a scene that brought back her past experience of sexual trauma. Through the outpouring of care and solid consent language, this resulted in a beautiful healing moment for her during the show’s creation. According to Taylor, “It started out as a room but it turned into more than that.”

Taylor Stonack appeared on the first season of Netflix's How To Build A Sex Room, and her mission is to create a safe space for people to talk about their wants and desires in every aspect of their life. She owns the social media marketing agency Sweet Potato Social.


Visit our episode sponsor  Reclaiming Pleasure with Dr. Holly Richmond

Learn more about these topics
Sexify Your Bedroom
Pleasure After Trauma Episode
Reclaiming Pleasure Book Review
Supporting Survivors
Arousal, Role Play and Condoms

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Sexy in Survival Mode02 Nov 202200:49:44

How in the world can a new mom feel sexy in survival mode? Journalist Simone Boyce flips the script to interview me about life and intimacy after childbirth. I answer her questions about the six-week mark, re-examining pleasure, code switching out of "mommy mode," and the reality of feeling touched out. You’ll learn my tips for intimacy without the pressure and ways to embrace outercourse (or as Simone says, “things you can do on the outside without ever having to go in the house!”). We talk about it all in this episode!

Simone Boyce is a nationally recognized journalist, host and speaker whose work has been featured on MSNBC, the Today Show, Access Hollywood and more.  Sign up for her newsletter Motherload.


Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube use code CINDY for 15% off

Learn more about these topics

Sex After Baby
All About Lube
Your Body After Baby
Sex and Pregnancy
Sex, Postpartum, and Breastfeeding
Myth Busting with UC
Pain and Sex
Stretched-Out Vaginas and Other Myths
Mental Load
Mindfulness and the Truth About Desire
Better Sex Through Mindfulness book review
The 6 second kiss from the Gottman Institute

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Sexify Your Space: Tips for a Better Bedroom19 Oct 202200:09:56

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all build ourselves a whole room dedicated to sex and intimacy? For most of us, that’s not a reality. However we can make changes to sexify the space we do have! In this quickie episode, you’ll hear my ten tips to create a more sensual and inviting atmosphere in your bedroom. Research shows that those with the most enjoyable sex life, set up their environment for sex with intention. Choose from - moody lighting, mirrors, props, privacy and more - to level up your bedroom for better sex. 

Learn more about these topics
Foreplay Ideas
Create the mood you enjoy
Sexy playlist
Lube
Blog: Ten tips for a better bedroom

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Less Shame - More Sex Ed05 Oct 202200:26:00

Alex Liu, a health reporter and director of the documentary; A Sexplanation joins me for a conversation about why we need comprehensive sex ed. We talk about his experience growing up as a young gay man, the sexual silence and shame that almost destroyed him, and how he found freedom and belonging by going on a quest for the sex education he never got. We agree that there are a lot of questions about sex that are “unasked, unspoken and unanswered!” This episode will encourage individuals, partners and parents to ask, speak and answer those questions.

Learn more about Alex and A Sexplanation

Learn more about these topics

Why Sex Ed Really Matters with guest Kristen Mark
My letter to parents: You can be your child's sexual health educator
Conversations Starters for Parenting Partners
Childhood sexual abuse prevention: 2 tools for parents
Help! My child is starting sex ed at school

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Embracing Your Desire12 Jun 202400:49:39

Embrace your desire. Own your wanting and gather your sexual agency. Doing this will help you change your relationship with desire. Dr. Juliana Hauser joins me to talk about reframing desire and how to get in touch with your vibrancy. You’ll hear practical ways to figure out what you want sexually and ideas for approaching and trying new things. Learn about the four quadrant exercise, a no thank you bite, and why Dr. Juliana believes safety is the strongest aphrodisiac.

Learn more about Dr. Juliana Hauser

More on this topic:
The Truth About Desire (part one)
The Truth About Desire (part two)
Partner Sexual Desire Discrepancies
Why don’t I want sex as much as my partner?
When a partner wants to start something new

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JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
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Sex, Postpartum, and Breastfeeding 21 Sep 202200:40:48

Colleen Weeks and I continue our conversation and discuss the challenges and changes in the fourth trimester, the 3-month time period after birthing a baby. Topics include hormone changes, the 6-weeks suggested for healing, why you may need lubrication for sex, and how fatigue affects sexual arousal. We also dive into breastfeeding to answer some common questions, such as does breastfeeding work as birth control, and why milk leaks or spurts with sex. You’ll hear thoughts on parenting roles, the mental load and communication strategies between partners to help you navigate this often-overwhelming season of change.

For more than 40 years, Colleen Weeks has passionately worked with childbearing women and their families as a Certified Childbirth, Lactation and Sex Educator, Certified Perinatal Bereavement Counselor and Maternal Mental Health Specialist. At Kaiser Permanente Orange County’s Anaheim and Irvine Medical Center’s she is the Perinatal Education manager. Colleen serves on the Family Violence Prevention team where she piloted an (ACE’s) Adverse Childhood Experience’s project and coordinates the FVPP Ambassador program.


Learn more about these topics
Why do I bleed after a baby (video)
Lube. Lube. Lube
Pain and Sex
Sex After Baby
What Pelvic Health Has To Do With Painful Sex
Stretched-out Vaginas and Other Myths
Your Body After Baby
Mental Load
Learning to Listen to Your Body
Reclaim Your Arousal Mindset
Scheduling Sex

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JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
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Sex and Pregnancy07 Sep 202200:25:21

My long time colleague and friend Colleen Weeks joins me to talk about all things pregnancy. This episode is your private in-home education class! You'll hear information every person needs to know about hormones, sex in pregnancy, partner concerns, and all the changes a body goes through to grow and birth a whole human. One of the biggest changes Colleen has witnessed over the years, is the increasing lack of trust women have in their bodies and how they function. Our hope is that this conversation will you help you gain confidence to trust your body in pregnancy, and all the seasons of your life.

*Don’t miss our next episode - Part Two: Sex, Postpartum and Breastfeeding

For more than 40 years, Colleen Weeks has passionately worked with childbearing women and their families as a Certified Childbirth, Lactation and Sex Educator, Certified Perinatal Bereavement Counselor and Maternal Mental Health Specialist. At Kaiser Permanente Orange County’s Anaheim and Irvine Medical Center’s she is the Perinatal Education manager. Colleen serves on the Family Violence Prevention team where she piloted an (ACE’s) Adverse Childhood Experience’s project and coordinates the FVPP Ambassador program.


Learn more about these topics

Sex After Baby
Learning to Listen to Your Body
Taking your Body on a Date
Your Body After Baby

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Learning to Listen to Your Body24 Aug 202200:33:45

Dr. Hillary McBride joins me for a conversation about embodiment or as she defines it, “Our experience of being a body as it’s shaped by culture.” She provides tools to help us untangle the cultural scripts we have taken in, along with gentle guidance for how we can reframe and choose a healthier way to be in our body. You’ll hear how you can learn to listen to your body, embrace your sensuality and give yourself more permission for pleasure. 


Dr. Hillary McBride is a registered psychologist, a researcher, and podcaster. She is the author of: Mothers, Daughters, and Body Image: Learning to Love Ourselves as We Are  and The Wisdom of Your Body: Finding wholeness, healing and connection through embodied living.  She was the senior editor of the textbook Embodiment and Eating Disorders: Theory, Research, Prevention, and Treatment.   www.Hillarylmcbride.com 


Learn more about these topics:

Mothers, Daughters and Body Image
Dating Your Body 
The Body is Not an Apology
My Letter to Young Women

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FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
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Pleasure Techniques10 Aug 202200:17:50

Learn four techniques women use to increase pleasure during vaginal penetration. OMGyes, in partnership with Indiana University School of Medicine, conducted a nationally representative study of over 3000 women, and I share their results in this episode. Hear about shallowing, pairing, rocking, and angling - along with practical tips for each one. I also discuss how faking orgasm can undermine your pleasure and give conversation starters to open a discussion about it with a partner.

Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube and use code CINDY for 15% off

Learn more about these topics
OMGyes
Pairing demo
Shallowing demo
Rocking demo
The clitoris - it’s a network!
Questions about orgasm
The key to female pleasure
Maude use code CINDY10
Dame
Communication, Couples & Sex
Talking with a partner about sex
Talking About Sex (When Things Aren't Great)

ORDER my Book Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden
JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex
FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey
VISIT my website and blog

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