Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast Peace and Parenting: How to Parent without Punishments

When was the last time your child got to just be? Not on the way to something. Not being moved along to the next thing. Not being asked to hurry up, finish up, or catch up. Just being, at their own pace. If you had to think hard about that, you are not a bad parent. You are living the exact life the rest of us are living. Fast, full, packed, with a next thing that is always a little behind.

We rush them into reading, into grades, into sports, into being ready before they actually are, and then we get frustrated when they can’t keep up. There is a name for it: the hurried child, and once you see it, you can’t unsee it. In this episode, I share the years our life was a conveyor belt of “hurry,” why there is no prize for being early, and the three practices to unhurry your home, whether your kid is two or seventeen.

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A lot of parents come to this work to change their own homes, and then something quieter starts to grow. A pull. A sense that maybe this isn’t just for your family. That maybe you’re meant to help other parents find what you found. If you’ve felt even a flicker of that, this episode is for you.

In this conversation, I’m joined by Miriam, a mom of four-year-old twins and a former nurse who felt called to leave healthcare and train as a connected parenting coach. She shares what the Coaching Certification Program was actually like, the inner-child healing she didn’t see coming, and the moment she stopped asking “who am I to do this?” and started feeling genuinely confident with her first clients. If you’ve ever wondered whether you could do this too, Miriam’s honest, grounded answer might be the nudge you’ve been waiting for.

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Almost every parent I work with asks me the same question. How do I balance strictness with softness? How can I be firm without being harsh, and soft without being permissive? It feels like you can only be one or the other. Maybe you grew up with a strict parent and swore you’d never make your kids feel that way, so you softened, and the softening turned into chaos. Or maybe you’re the firm one, and you can feel a distance growing that you don’t know how to close.

Here’s the truth: strict and soft were never the only two options, and they were never even on the same line. In this episode, I share what they really are, why the calm delivery is the strategic one and not the weak one, and the four moves to be firm and warm in the very same breath.

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Back to school time. We brace the kids for a new teacher, a new schedule, and earlier wake times. We purchase the backpack and walk them through it, and tell them they can do it. But no one gives the parent any information about what is ahead. The earlier wake times are also yours. The forms, the pickups, and getting six things in before Friday. You have a hundred more decisions per day now compared to in July, and your own tank is getting low.

When your child walks through the door and breaks down over nothing, it is not a discipline issue. Your child has maintained restraint throughout the day. But with you, they know that they will always be loved exactly the way they are. So when they get home, the restraint breaks down. In this episode, I share what a school day costs to a child. I also share why the first six weeks are the most difficult, and a go-to strategy for a difficult season - under parenting on purpose.

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Most of us were programmed to do the same things when children misbehaved. The time-out. Taking something away. The consequence. Nobody in that chain was a villain; they were tools passed down by people who loved us. And we were told they teach. That the time-out builds patience, the consequence builds responsibility, that in these little moments we're building character.

But here's the real question. Did any of it actually work, or did it just get quiet for twenty minutes? Punishment is very good at one thing: buying a short stretch of compliance. And it pays for that quiet out of the only account that matters: your child's trust that your love doesn't flinch. In this episode, I share the time-outs I gave my "easy" daughter, what they were really teaching her, and the four things to reach for instead when your child does something that genuinely needs a response.

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Somewhere around eleven, twelve, thirteen, something shifts. The kid who used to tell you everything starts giving you one-word answers. They stop looking for you and wanting to spend time with you. The door that used to stay open is closed. And the thing that makes sense for us in that moment is the scariest one: my teenager is pulling away, and I'm losing them.

I felt exactly that in my own house, and it's one of the many reasons I came to this work. But here's what I learned. The pullback doesn’t mean they are rejecting you. It’s your kid doing their actual job, becoming their own person, and pushing off you the way a swimmer pushes off the wall. In this episode, Peace and Parenting coach Tim unpacks why the arguing and the eye-rolls are a sign of attachment, not disrespect, why silence is the thing to actually worry about, and how to stay close to a teenager who acts like they don't want you there.

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You're at the checkout, almost done, and your child grabs something and asks, "Can we get this?" And four words come out before you've even thought about them: "We can't afford it." It feels honest. Responsible, even. Like you're teaching them the value of money. Most of us say it without a second thought, because our parents said it to us.

But that little phrase can quietly plant something much bigger. A child doesn't hear a temporary cash-flow issue. They hear there is not enough; we are not people who get to have things; wanting is a problem. And they build a whole worldview on top of it. In this episode, I share the scarcity belief I'm still unraveling in my fifties, why the ask is almost never really about the toy, and the exact words to use instead that still mean no without teaching lack.

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We've been handed a story about toddlers. They're testing you. They're manipulating you. They're trying to win. And if you comfort them too much, you'll raise a spoiled kid who runs the house. So the advice comes fast and hard in these years: don't pick them up so much, don't negotiate, let them cry it out, show them who's in charge.

That story is wrong, and it's aimed at you hardest right now, because the toddler years are when fear sells best. A two-year-old on the floor is not being disrespectful. They are dysregulated. Their feelings have gotten bigger than the tools they have, because they don't have the tools yet. In this episode, Peace and Parenting Coach Cammie shares the three simple moves that work when your child comes apart.

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When you lie awake at night, what do you replay? Not the hundred things you got right that day. Not the lunches, the drop-offs, the bedtime story you were too tired to read but read anyway. You replay the one moment you lost it. The snap. The raised voice. The look on their face. And you carry it like it's the whole story.

Most of us believe that guilt is proof we're good parents. That our mistakes need to be paid for. That if we ever forgive ourselves, we'll stop trying. But it works the opposite way. Guilt doesn't reach your child at all. It just drains the tank you need to show up the next morning. In this episode, I share the nights I went to bed crying, the moment that finally let me put the guilt down, and the four-step repair that matters far more than being perfect ever could.

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We were told boundaries and connection sit on opposite ends of a dial. Slide toward strict and you get control but lose warmth. Slide toward gentle, and you get closeness but lose the floor. So we spend our days inching back and forth, guilty when we're too hard, exhausted when we're too soft, certain we have to pick one.

Here is what Peace and Parenting coach Tim learned by raising four kids, after getting it wrong in both directions. Connection and a boundary were never on the same dial. A punishment is aimed at your child and their behavior. A boundary is aimed at you and what you will do. Once you stop needing your kid to be okay with the limit in the moment, you can stay warm while you hold it. Kind is how you say it. Firm is that you don't have to change it.

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Most of us carry a quiet belief that we have to be everything for our kids. If the other parent isn't showing up the way we wish they would, we tell ourselves it's on us to fill every gap. To be the nurturer and the rough-and-tumble one. To make up for what they didn't get, so they never feel the lack we felt. And we run ourselves into the ground trying.

In this conversation, Mary, a mom of three, brings Michelle exactly that ache. She feels responsible for holding every role, and she's exhausted. What unfolds is a gentle unraveling of the belief underneath it. You cannot give your child everything, and you were never supposed to. The one thing they actually need is connection, and connection is not about quantity or covering every base. It's about being your fullest, most grounded self, and letting that be enough.

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We've all been told the same thing. Kids need consistency above everything else. The same rules, the same bedtime, the same consequences in every home they live in. So when the other parent won't get on the same page, we panic. We send the articles. We lecture. We build the case. We pour ourselves into a fight we were never going to win, and we call it love.

But here is the truth. Your child is not destabilized by two different sets of rules. They already know the rules at school are not the rules at Grandma's. They code-switch all day long, and it does not break them. What actually costs them is the whiplash of two adults at war. You do not have to parent the same. You just have to build one safe home, and that is entirely yours to do.

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For years, I thought I was doing everything right. I had left the yelling behind. I praised my girls constantly; I made star charts. I was a trained teacher and a school counselor, and I believed with my whole heart that catching kids being good was the kind, positive way to parent. I thought I was building my daughters up. What I could not see was that I was quietly teaching them that my warmth was something they had to earn.

The thing that cracked it open for me was watching my sensitive oldest, Esme. She had decided her teacher loved her or hated her depending on how many stars she got that day, and she was holding it together at school and falling apart the second she got home to me. That was when I realized the reward system I was fighting at her school was the same one I had been running at home. In this episode, I share what I learned: why praise and punishment are not opposites, why the carrot stops working, and what to say to your child instead so they grow up knowing who they are rather than watching you to find out who to be.

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When your child is being hard, what is the first tool you reach for? A countdown. A consequence. A lecture. A raised voice. Almost every one of those is a version of the same instinct: when my child gets hard, I get harder. It makes complete sense, because that is exactly what we were taught to do. In this episode, I am making the case for the opposite. The single most powerful thing you can do in your hardest parenting moments is not bring more pressure. It is to bring more play.

I know exactly what some of you are thinking: play rewards bad behavior. Actually, it does the opposite. A hard behavior is a child who is stuck, and play dissolves the stuckness. Hard moments call for seriousness. Actually, a serious face reads as more of a threat to your child's nervous system, and threat escalates behavior. Play is for little kids. Your teenager did not stop playing. You did.

This episode dismantles the three biggest myths that keep parents stuck, then hands you the tools to try tonight.

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When Cammie's son began struggling with school, anxiety, and sensory challenges, she heard the same message so many parents hear: maybe he needed a different approach. But instead of abandoning connection, she leaned into it, and watched something remarkable happen.

In this episode, Coach Cammie shares her family's journey, from heartbreaking school drop-offs to the moment her son was finally ready to walk into school on his own. Together, we explore why neurodivergent children don't need a different kind of parent, they need the same foundation of connection, offered with even more understanding, patience, and trust.

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For years, I believed that when my daughters pushed back, they were being defiant. Then one afternoon at the American Girl store, my youngest daughter had a public meltdown that completely changed the way I understood children's behavior and my role as a parent.

In this episode, I'm sharing why behavior is communication, not defiance, and how learning to read the message beneath your child's actions can transform your relationship. I'll walk you through the mindset shifts and practical tools that helped me stop fighting the behavior and start understanding the child underneath it.

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If you've ever caught yourself saying the very words you swore you'd never say to your child, you're not alone. I've been there too. In this episode, we’re sharing why breaking generational parenting patterns isn't a matter of trying harder or having more willpower. It's about recognizing the blueprint you inherited and learning how to write a new one. Through personal stories, research, and years of coaching parents, We’ll help you understand why old reactions surface so quickly—and why that doesn't mean you've failed.

We'll walk you through the hidden ways inherited patterns show up in everyday parenting, explain why awareness alone isn't enough to create lasting change, and share practical tools you can begin using today. Breaking the cycle doesn't happen through perfection—it happens one small moment at a time, as you learn to pause, repair, and choose a different path for yourself and your children.

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Most of us were raised to believe that a "good" child is a calm child, who does not push back, does not melt down, does not make the adults around them uncomfortable. We have spent generations praising children for the absence of need. But the absence of need is not the same as the absence of pain. There is a kind of child (and you may have one in your house right now) who looks easy from the outside. But underneath, she is doing a job. She is scanning the room. She is reading your face when you walk in from work. She is calibrating which version of herself is allowed today. That child is not calm. She is hypervigilant. And the cost of hypervigilance always gets paid somewhere, usually in adulthood, usually in a therapist's office twenty-five years later.

In this episode, I'm walking through how people-pleasing actually installs in a child's nervous system, why the loud kid who falls apart with you is often safer than the quiet one who has stopped asking, and the five patterns that quietly turn a child wired toward attunement into a child who is permanently scanning. I'll also share the story of a mom who came to coaching about her eleven-year-old daughter, the easy one, the mature one, and what she discovered about her own childhood along the way.

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Many of us grew up in homes where emotions were dismissed, mistakes were punished, and children learned to manage the feelings of the adults around them. As parents, we often recognize those patterns intellectually, but recognizing them and changing them are two very different things. In this episode, Michelle explores the long-term effects of growing up with emotionally immature parents and why awareness alone isn't enough to break the cycle.

In this episode, we share the practical work of healing childhood wounds while raising children differently. We explain why our biggest parenting reactions are often connected to unresolved experiences from our own childhood, and we show you three powerful practices that help parents interrupt old patterns in real time, repair relationship ruptures, and begin the deeper process of reparenting themselves.

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Somewhere along the way, maybe out loud, maybe just in your own head, you started calling one of your children the difficult one. The intense one. The spirited one. The one with the issues. And you love them, of course you do. But quietly, where no one can see, you have wondered if something is wrong with them. Or with you. Or with both of you. If that sounds familiar, you are not alone, and there is nothing wrong with you. This is one of the most invisible patterns in modern parenting, and it takes real work to see.

In this episode, I'm walking through what the label is actually doing to the child you're trying to help. We'll cover the science of how a parent's expectations physically shape who a child becomes, the five patterns good parents fall into without realizing it, and the five-step roadmap to break the cycle starting this week. I'll also share the story of a mom in our community whose seven-year-old had been the family "problem" for years, the emails from school, the bedtime wars, the dinner refusals, and the single tool that changed everything.

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I had been told the same story since I became a mom: “children are manipulative”, “They do that on purpose”. I believed it. I bargained and threatened, my daughter melted down harder, and the wall between us got higher. I had been told kids push their parents because they want the power, so I tried to take the power back. It didn't work. It actually never works, because that is not what is really happening,

In this episode, I'm walking you through what is actually happening. We'll cover the neuroscience of why your child genuinely cannot manipulate you the way a grown adult can, the translation guide for the behaviors that look most manipulative (from the meltdown over cereal to the "you don't love me" line), and the response protocol you can use today. There is so much we can find out when we ask the right question.

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Why does my child listen to everyone but me? I remember being there myself. I was a teacher and counselor for thirteen years before I had kids, and I could not get my own oldest daughter to cooperate for five minutes. I thought, I am trained for this. What is wrong with me? Nothing was wrong with me. And nothing is wrong with you.

The truth is, what most of us were taught about cooperation is wrong. Cooperation isn't something you demand, it's something you grow. In this episode, I'm walking through the neuroscience of why your child saves their worst behavior for you, the five most common cooperation drains in our homes, and the five-step road map I teach my clients to flip the dynamic. I'll also share the story of a mom whose seven-year-old went from a nightly bedtime war to brushing his teeth before she even asked, and the one small shift that changed it.

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The week before my oldest daughter left for college, I caught myself reorganizing her room, repacking her bags, sending her articles she didn't ask for. And I realized standing in her doorway one night, she was ready. She had been ready for a long time. I was the one who wasn't ready to let her go. What hit me hardest wasn't the goodbye. It was the recognition that for years, I had been fighting the same quiet battle inside myself: the pull to manage, the pull to control outcomes, the pull to step in just one more time so things didn't go sideways.

In this episode, I'm walking you through what I now teach parents inside one-on-one coaching about raising a genuinely resilient kid. We'll cover the loving belief almost every parent holds that's quietly making their child more fragile, the brain science of "tolerable stress" and why your child's prefrontal cortex actually needs struggle to grow, the difference between abandoning and over-helping (a sweet spot I call connected courage), and the five shifts that change everything. This isn't about being a harder parent. It's about finally trusting the child you've been raising all along.

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For years in my own house, my ex-husband and I were both deep tech people. From the moment we woke up until we went to bed, there was some kind of screen running. Phones at the dinner table while the kids played next to us. And then I would turn around and try to set screen-time rules for my daughters, and wonder why nothing was working. The truth is, the most powerful screen-time intervention you have isn't what you do with your child's phone. It's what you do with yours.

In this episode, I'm walking you through the full framework for raising screen-smart kids without the daily power struggle. You'll hear the moment with my daughters that finally made me change how I parented around tech, why scarcity-based rules ("no phone until you…") create more obsession instead of less, and the exact transition language I use so kids can put a device down without a meltdown. If you've ever felt like you're losing the screen-time battle, I want you to hear this one before you take another phone away.

I was a yeller. Not a "lost it once or twice" yeller, a full-on, scream-in-my-two-year-old's-face yeller. I shamed my oldest daughter. I became her first bully, without meaning to and without wanting to. And I want to share that with you not because I'm proud of it, but because I know how many parents are sitting in that same place right now, exhausted and ashamed, swearing tonight will be different and then losing it again at bedtime.

In this training, I'm walking you through what I had to learn before any of it could change, including the brain science that genuinely scared me into doing the work. You'll hear what yelling actually does to your child's developing brain, why control parenting (bribes, threats, punishment) always backfires, the five daily connection pillars I built into our family rhythm, and a complete in-the-moment toolkit for the seconds before you lose it. And I'll share the one secret tool I gave my own daughters that kept me more accountable than any book or coach ever could.

My daughters fought constantly when they were little, and I tried everything. I separated them. I punished them. I lectured. I bribed. I yelled. Nothing worked, not really. It would stop for twenty minutes and we would be right back at it. What finally changed everything wasn't a new consequence, it was a completely new role.

In this episode, I'm giving you that role. I'm walking you through the full 12-step Sibling Rivalry Protocol I teach inside the Peace and Parenting Community: the exact framework I used to stop being the judge and jury in my house and start being the coach. We'll cover why your instinct to figure out "who started it" is actually extending the fight, why comforting the child who caused the hurt is the move most parents skip, and the makeup story from my own home that took me about two hundred repetitions to get right. Stay with me on this one, the shift is bigger than it sounds.

I have lost count of how many moms have told me they feel like they're failing because they don't have enough time. They're at work all day, running between activities, exhausted by 8pm, and convinced that if they could just carve out a few more hours, they'd finally feel like the mom they want to be. I want to challenge that belief in this episode, because it's quietly costing you the connection you already have access to right now.

The truth is, you don't need more time. You need to stop wasting the windows you already have. In this training, I'm sharing the 10-Minute Mom framework I teach inside the Peace and Parenting Community: a simple structure of three daily connection windows that takes ten minutes total. I'll walk you through the research, the traps that are stealing your presence (the phone vortex, the task takeover, and fixer mode), and the exact words I use with my own daughters.

Most of us were raised to believe that an obedient child is a safe child. I believed it too, for a long time. But the truth is the opposite, and it took me years of parenting and coaching to really see it. A child who is trained to always comply, who learns that disagreement equals punishment, who can't say no at home, is not going to suddenly find their voice when a peer pressures them or an adult crosses a line. They freeze. They give away their lunch. They attract people who take advantage of exactly that.

In this episode, I'll walk you through the steps to raise kids with a real internal compass, not blind obedience, and not disrespect, but something much stronger than both. If you've ever worried about whether your child can advocate for themselves when you're not in the room, this one's for you.

I’m back, and I’m coming in honest.

After losing my dad last year, I stepped away from the podcast, my work, and the pressure to keep performing as a parent. In this return episode, I reflect on what three months of cocooning taught me about grief, self-preservation, and the impossible standard we hold ourselves to as parents.

If you've ever pushed through a hard season while secretly falling apart, this one's for you.

Whether you're navigating loss, a life transition, or just a really hard week, this episode is a reminder that your well-being isn't separate from your parenting. It is your parenting.

In this episode, we cover:

👉Why you can't be a great parent when you're running on empty

👉The difference between pushing through and taking care of yourself

👉What your kids are actually learning when they watch you struggle

👉How listening partnerships help parents carry the emotional weight

👉Why prioritizing yourself isn't selfish, it's the whole point

Your child isn't "being bad", they're trying to tell you something. In this episode, I break down the five real reasons children misbehave and why the punishments, time-outs, and consequences you've been relying on are actually making behavior worse.

You'll learn my step-by-step framework for responding to any behavior with both connection and limits, plus three quick wins you can start using today. If you're stuck in the yelling-guilt-repeat cycle and nothing seems to work no matter how hard you try, this is the episode that changes everything.

Want an opportunity to get your parenting questions answered by Michelle? Join us live this Thursday at 9:30 am PST

🔗 Interested in our programs or coaching? Book a free Discovery Call today.

🌟Explore and Join our Peace and Parenting Community

📖 Check out my book: UNPUNISHED

Today's episode comes with a heavy heart as I share a very personal update. My beloved father, Papa, recently passed away after a three-year battle with cancer. For those who knew him or followed my posts, you know he was my steadfast parenting partner and confidant, truly embracing connective parenting and becoming an incredible grandfather to my girls. In this tribute, I'll share a eulogy I wrote for him, celebrating his vivacious spirit, fierce determination, and profound transformation later in life.

This episode is not only a heartfelt farewell to an extraordinary man but also an announcement that I'll be taking a break from the podcast and social media to grieve and navigate this new chapter with my family. I am so grateful for your continued listenership and hope you'll check out some of our more than 400 previous episodes.

Thank you for being part of the Peace and Parenting family. I'll see you all very soon.

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🔗 Interested in group or 1:1 Coaching? Book a Discovery Call today.

💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review.

📖 Check out my book UNPUNISHED!

Follow Peace and Parenting:

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Do you ever feel like you're constantly battling your kids, trying to "make" them do what you want? Are you tired of using punishments or rewards, but unsure how else to get them to listen? If you're longing for a deeper connection with your child and a more peaceful home without resorting to control, you're in the right place. Today, I’m exploring a crucial distinction: the difference between boundaries and limits, and consequences and punishments.

Many of us were taught that discipline means punishment, but "discipline" actually means "to teach." I want to show you that you can have clear limits and boundaries in your home without enforcing them through external motivators like rewards or consequences. Instead of asking, "How do I make my kids do X, Y, or Z?" we need to ask, "Why aren't they choosing to do it?" We'll explore how to approach your child's behavior with curiosity, considering disconnection, unrealistic demands, or their natural desire for autonomy. When children feel good about their relationship with you and the home environment, they are much more likely to follow limits because they want to, not because they fear punishment.  

If you're ready to redefine discipline, embrace connection, and cultivate cooperation in your home without punishments or rewards, hit play!

In This Episode, We Cover:

👉 The true meaning of discipline

👉 Setting limits without consequences

👉 Asking "why" instead of "how to make"

👉 Fostering connection, not obedience

👉 Cultivating an internal moral compass

👉 Embracing curiosity about behavior

As I mentioned, my sweet dad has recently passed away. Your continued listening and understanding mean the world to me. In his memory, and as promised, I wanted to share this episode from when he came on the show to discuss Connected Grandparenting with me. Thank you for your support during this time.

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🔗 Interested in group or 1:1 Coaching? Book a Discovery Call today.

💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review.

📖 Check out my book UNPUNISHED!

Follow Peace and Parenting:

YouTube: @peaceandparentingla

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What does real respect between parents and children truly look like? Have you ever wondered why your kids sometimes seem “disrespectful,” or whether expecting automatic respect is helping or hurting your relationship? Let’s dive into what it means to nurture mutual respect without demanding compliance.

Today, we revisit one of our most popular topics: the true nature of respect in parenting and how embracing connection over control transforms our family relationships. There is a commonly held narrative that tells us kids “should” respect adults. I used to crave compliance from my daughters, thinking that made me a good parent, only to learn firsthand that genuine respect can’t be forced. It’s cultivated.

In This Episode, We Cover:

👉 The difference between respect and compliance

👉 How parent/child relationships mirror other relationships

👉 Why respect must be given to be received

👉 The impact of punishments and rewards on respect

👉 Setting limits with connection, not control

👉 Ways to nurture reciprocal, lasting respect at home

As I mentioned, my sweet dad has recently passed away. Your continued listening and understanding mean the world to me. In his memory, and as promised, I wanted to share this episode from when he came on the show to discuss Connected Grandparenting with me. Thank you for your support during this time.

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🔗 Interested in group or 1:1 Coaching? Book a Discovery Call today.

💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review.

📖 Check out my book UNPUNISHED!

Follow Peace and Parenting:

YouTube: @peaceandparentingla

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Have you been told that because your child is neurodivergent, they need different rules? That connection-based parenting works for neurotypical kids, but your child with autism or ADHD requires charts, rewards, and consequences to manage behavior. Many of us hear this, leaving us to choose between a behavioral or relationship-based approach.

In this episode, I have a powerful conversation with Eloise, one of our private clients, whose son has autism and ADHD. She came to us wondering if this work would even apply to her family. She had tried the visual charts and rewards and found they made no difference in her son’s intense anxiety. Eloise shares her incredible story of how she was advised to “just do the connection”. She discovered that play was the key that truly helped her son. It filled his cup, calmed his anxiety about leaving the house, and allowed him to think better.

This conversation is a crucial reminder that our neurodiverse kids don’t need to be managed; they, more than anyone, need to be connected with. If you are parenting a neurodivergent child, this episode is a must-listen. It will fill you with so much hope and reaffirm that your relationship is the most powerful tool you have. I know you’ll find so much hope and validation in Eloise’s story.

In This Episode, We Cover:

👉 Why connection is essential for neurodiverse families

👉 Swapping sticker charts for playful connection

👉 Using play to calm anxiety in autistic children

👉 How a mother’s own neurodivergent diagnosis helped

👉 Parenting when you are also autistic with ADHD

👉 Moving beyond traditional behavioral management

As I mentioned, my sweet dad has recently passed away. Your continued listening and understanding mean the world to me. In his memory, and as promised, I wanted to share this episode from when he came on the show to discuss Connected Grandparenting with me. Thank you for your support during this time.

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🔗 Interested in group or 1:1 Coaching? Book a Discovery Call today.

💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review.

📖 Check out my book UNPUNISHED!

Follow Peace and Parenting:

YouTube: @peaceandparentingla

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Does it ever feel like you’re a referee in your own home? One child is hurt, crying with scratches down their arm, and the other is standing there, looking defiant. In that moment, every instinct tells you to protect the “victim” and correct the “aggressor.” But what if I told you that by rushing in to assign blame, we might unknowingly be making the rivalry worse? It’s a tough pill to swallow, I know. It took me years to see how my attempts to protect my younger daughter, Pia, were actually fueling my older daughter, Esme’s fire and cementing them in their roles.

Today, I’m getting really honest about my own journey with my daughters' sibling relationship. I’ll share how I had to unlearn my instinct to take sides and instead learn to approach their conflicts with neutrality. We’ll talk about why the “aggressor” is often a child who is hurting and not a villain, and how building individual connection outside of the conflict is the real key to long-term peace.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

👉 How to stop making sibling rivalry worse

👉 How to see the hurt, not the villain

👉 How to build connection outside the conflict

👉 Intervening with neutrality, not blame

👉 How your childhood affects their fights

👉 How to move from putting out fires to peace

As I mentioned, my sweet dad has recently passed away. Your continued listening and understanding mean the world to me. In his memory, and as promised, I wanted to share this episode from when he came on the show to discuss Connected Grandparenting with me. Thank you for your support during this time. I’ll be back soon!

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🔗 Interested in group or 1:1 Coaching? Book a Discovery Call today.

💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review.

📖 Check out my book UNPUNISHED!

Follow Peace and Parenting:

YouTube: @peaceandparentingla

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Do you feel like you’re doing everything “right”? You’ve started implementing special time and focusing on connection, yet it creates more chaos. The kids might have meltdowns when the timer goes off, or sibling squabbles seem endless. You may question whether connected parenting works. You are not alone, and there is a way through it.

In this episode, I have a wonderful chat with Katie, a mother of three girls from the UK. She’s been practicing connective parenting for just a few weeks and is already seeing incredible results, but she came to me with some very common and relatable challenges. We dive deep into the nitty-gritty of making special time work, especially when your children don’t want it to end. We also explore how to navigate the intense emotions of sibling rivalry without taking sides and how our own childhoods, especially if we were told to be “seen and not heard” can make it so hard to tolerate our children’s big, loud feelings. 

This was such a rich and supportive conversation, and Katie’s journey is one I know will resonate with so many of you.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

👉 Navigating the end of "special time"

👉 Handling sibling fights with neutrality

👉 Why special time consistency is key

👉 Letting go of being the "feelings police"

👉 Creating calm and connected mornings

👉 Using play to address tough behaviors

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🎧 As I mentioned, my sweet dad recently passed away. Your continued listening and understanding mean the world to me. In his memory, and as promised, I wanted to share this episode from when he came on the show to discuss Connected Grandparenting with me. Thank you for your support during this time.

🔗 Interested in group or 1:1 Coaching? Book a Discovery Call today.

💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review.

📖 Check out my book UNPUNISHED!

Follow Peace and Parenting:

YouTube: @peaceandparentingla

Instagram: @peaceandparenting

Facebook: @peaceandparentingla

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Are you sometimes wondering if this whole "connected parenting" thing can really work for your child, especially when you're facing those big emotions or defiant moments? Maybe you've heard people say, "That’s nice, but my kid needs something different." I truly understand where you're coming from, and I’ve been there.

In today's episode, I want to discuss why I’m passionate about connected parenting as a loving approach for all children, regardless of their temperament or challenges. We'll explore how prioritizing our relationship over specific behaviors makes a profound difference. Traditional methods like punishments and reward charts often miss the mark for any child, including those with ODD or ADHD, and can hinder their ability to learn and thrive by affecting brain development. No child benefits from shame or belittlement.

Instead of focusing on control, we'll discuss how connection builds trust, enhances brain function by engaging the prefrontal cortex, and creates a calm, safe environment for our children. It’s not about quick fixes or changing strong-willed children, but about tempering deeper traits and achieving lasting improvements in cooperation and emotional regulation. This approach not only helps kids but also brings peace to us as parents.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

👉 Why connection benefits every single child. 

👉 The truth about rewards and punishments.

👉 Boost your child's brain with connection. 

👉 Support neurodivergent kids through your relationship. 

👉 See challenging behaviors improve with empathy. 

👉 Find more calm for your family. 

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🔗 Interested in group or 1:1 Coaching? Book a Discovery Call today.

💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review.

📖 Check out my book UNPUNISHED!

Follow Peace and Parenting:

YouTube: @peaceandparentingla

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Do you ever find yourself in those familiar power struggles with your child? Maybe it’s the daily screen time battle, that feeling of being rushed, or just their amazing, strong will challenging you at every turn. If you're nodding along, please know you're not alone, and there absolutely is a path to more peace and cooperation in your home.

In this episode, I had a wonderful conversation with Jackie, a mom to a spirited nine-year-old named Sophia. Jackie bravely shared her struggles with Sophia’s “authoritative personality” and the daily challenges of getting cooperation, especially around turning off the TV. We dove deep into how our own upbringing can unconsciously shape our parenting and, most importantly, how focusing on connection can truly transform these everyday friction points into opportunities for growth and a stronger relationship. We talked about practical ways to build that connection, even when life feels incredibly rushed. It’s not about grand gestures, but those small, consistent moments that fill your child's cup and yours too. 

Join me to hear all the insights and practical tips shared in my chat with Jackie; it’s a conversation that could truly shift the dynamic in your home.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

👉 The importance of daily child-led, focused play

👉 Screen Time Peace: Engage before ending shows

👉 Our Tech Use: Model healthy electronic habits

👉 How to rethink "No": Try a planned "ditch day." 

👉 Why Connection Boosts Cooperation: Build strong, loving bonds

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🔗 Interested in group or 1:1 Coaching? Book a Discovery Call today.

💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review.

📖 Check out my book UNPUNISHED!

Follow Peace and Parenting:

YouTube: @peaceandparentingla

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Okay, friend, let's discuss the pressure of being the "perfect" parent. If you've felt overwhelmed by a toddler’s grocery store meltdown or a teen defying you, this episode is for you. I've been in the trenches, thinking perfect parenting meant perfectly behaved children and would validate me.  

Today, I’ll share my journey with perfectionism in parenting, revealing how it harmed my relationship with my kids. My desperation for them to "behave" led to threats, bribes, and yelling, making me feel like a failure. The incredible thing I discovered is that our children need connected parents, not perfect ones. In this episode, we'll explore how shifting focus from controlling behavior to nurturing relationships can transform everything. Letting go of perfection opens us to a more peaceful, joyful, and connected way of parenting.

If you're ready to embrace imperfection and strengthen bonds with your children, this episode might just be the breakthrough you've been searching for.

In This Episode, You'll Discover:

👉 Perfection is unattainable, and not your goal

👉 Connection is your true parenting goal

👉 Perfectionism can breed perfectionist kids

👉 "Good enough" parenting is enough

👉 Relationships take precedence over behavior

👉 My journey from control to connection

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📖 If my story resonates with you, you can find more about my journey in my book, Unpunished.

🔗 Interested in group or 1:1 Coaching? Book a Discovery Call today.

💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review.

Follow Peace and Parenting:

YouTube: @peaceandparentingla

Instagram: @peaceandparenting

Facebook: @peaceandparentingla

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Do you find yourself constantly striving for perfection in your parenting? Does the idea of not having all the answers or losing control fill you with anxiety? If you're a high-achieving parent who wants deep connection but finds yourself stuck in a "fix-it" or "control" mindset, this episode is for you.

Today, I have a truly insightful conversation with Kate Kripke, a licensed clinical social worker and perinatal mental health counselor. We dive into the neuroscience behind why many high-achieving women, like us, approach motherhood with a desire for control and achievement, and why that very approach can hinder the deep connection we crave. We discuss how our own need to feel in control stems from a fundamental need for safety.

Kate and I explore the critical difference between control and influence, emphasizing that true positive influence comes from a place of inner steadiness and emotional regulation, not external demands. This episode is a powerful invitation to release the "shoulds" of parenting and lean into grace, presence, and heart-centered connection.

In This Episode

👉 Understanding the brain's role in mothering

👉 How to differentiate control from influence

👉 How to address fear-based parenting

👉 Releasing the need to "fix it"

👉 Embracing the discomfort of not knowing

👉 Prioritizing inner steadiness for connection

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📲 Follow Kate on Instagram @katekripke

🔗 Interested in group or 1:1 Coaching? Book a Discovery Call today.

💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review.

📖 Check out my book UNPUNISHED!

Follow Peace and Parenting:

YouTube: @peaceandparentingla

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Do you want your child to always feel safe enough to come to you, no matter what mistakes they've made? Are you sometimes unsure how to react when your child disappoints you, without resorting to punishment or judgment?

Today, we're diving deep into the power of being your child's "safe place." Research tells us this is the most crucial thing we can do for our children, especially in adolescence. When children feel safe and connected, their brains are better equipped for good decision-making and impulse control. And guess what! The fastest way to make our children feel unsafe is in a home where they fear us.

I'll share a personal story about my daughter Pia admitting to cheating, and how my calm, empathetic response strengthened our connection, allowing her to take responsibility without shame. We'll explore how to convey unconditional love, even when behavior is challenging, by staying calm, connected, and neutral. It’s about building a foundation where your child knows your love isn't dependent on their behavior or achievements. If you're ready to create a haven of unconditional love and trust in your home, hit play!

In This Episode

👉 How to be your child's safe place

👉 How to prioritize connection over consequences

👉 Validating their feelings without judgment

👉 Building a strong relationship for success

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🔗 Get my FREE Empowering Connection Guide

🔗 Interested in group or 1:1 Coaching? Book a Discovery Call today.

💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review.

📖 Check out my book UNPUNISHED!

Follow Peace and Parenting:

YouTube: @peaceandparentingla

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What if I told you that schools are actually killing your child's creativity? Is socialization really a problem for homeschooled kids? If you're looking for an insightful discussion that addresses these fears and offers a compelling perspective on homeschooling, you're in the right place.

Today, I'm joined by Liz Hanson, a seasoned homeschooler with 24 years of experience in education. We'll explore what homeschooling truly is (and isn't), debunk common myths, and discuss the incredible benefits it can offer. Liz shares her personal journey into homeschooling and offers practical advice for parents considering this path. We'll cover everything from overcoming fear and building confidence to understanding the importance of creativity, socialization, and a well-rounded education.

If you're excited to explore the possibilities of homeschooling and see how it can nurture a lifelong love of learning, this is definitely worth a listen!

In This Episode

👉 Debunking common myths about homeschooling 

👉 Identifying the core elements of successful homeschooling 

👉 Exploring the impact of homeschooling on creativity 

👉 Addressing concerns about socialization 

👉 Providing guidance on getting started with homeschooling 

👉 Offering advice on planning and curriculum

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🔗 Find out more about Liz and homeschooling at smarthomeschooler.com

🔗 Interested in group or 1:1 Coaching? Book a Discovery Call today.

💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review.

📖 Check out my book UNPUNISHED!

Follow Peace and Parenting:

YouTube: @peaceandparentingla

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Are you tired of constant power struggles with your child? Does it feel like every little thing turns into a battle? If you're longing for a more peaceful way to navigate these conflicts and maintain a strong connection with your child, you're in the right place.

Today, I’m tackling the tricky topic of power struggles. First, let me reassure you that they're incredibly common. Children, especially, crave autonomy, which can often lead to clashes as they assert their independence. But here's the good news: power struggles don't have to destroy your relationship. We'll explore how to shift from a place of control and authority to one of empathy and understanding. I'll share a client's story about transforming a laundry battle into a fun, connective experience using play. It's about working with your child instead of against them, fostering cooperation and strengthening your bond.   

If you're ready to turn power struggles into opportunities for connection and create a more harmonious home, hit play!

In This Episode

👉 Understand the root of power struggles

👉 Shift from control to connection

👉 Use play to defuse tension

👉 Reframe expectations for cooperation

👉 Validate your child's need for autonomy

👉 Preserve your relationship through conflict

🎧 Want to learn more check out my episode What To Do When Our Child Says “I Hate You”

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🔗 Interested in group or 1:1 Coaching? Book a Discovery Call today.

💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review.

📖 Check out my book UNPUNISHED!

Follow Peace and Parenting:

YouTube: @peaceandparentingla

Instagram: @peaceandparenting

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Do you ever find yourself saying things to your child that you instantly regret? Do you worry that your own upbringing is negatively influencing your parenting? Today,, I talk with Helen, a mom who's caught in a cycle of saying hurtful things to her son, often mirroring the way her own mother treated her. We explore the powerful connection between our childhood experiences and our parenting triggers. I offer strategies for breaking free from these patterns, including journaling to process past hurts and reprioritizing connection over academic pressure.

We also discuss practical ways to shift the homework dynamic, focusing on fostering a love of learning and empowering children to take responsibility for their own work. It's about creating a supportive environment where kids feel loved and capable, regardless of their grades. If you're ready to break free from negative parenting patterns and create a more positive and connected relationship with your child, this episode is for you.

In This Episode

👉 Identify your parenting triggers

👉 Journal about your childhood experiences

👉 Prioritize connection over grades

👉 Let go of homework control

👉 Focus on your child's strengths

👉 Increase physical affection

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🔗 Interested in group or 1:1 Coaching? Book a Discovery Call today.

💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review.

📖 Check out my book UNPUNISHED!

Follow Peace and Parenting:

YouTube: @peaceandparentingla

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What if I told you that forcing your child to be more social actually harms their confidence? Does it make you cringe when they won't say hello or engage with other kids? If you're tired of pushing your child to be more outgoing and it's just not working, I have a message of hope for you.

Today, I share my journey with my daughter Pia, who was very shy as a child. I used to worry about her lack of engagement and felt that others might perceive her as rude. However, I learned that pushing her only made things worse. I will explain why it is so important to respect a child's intuition and allow them to navigate social situations at their own pace. It's about shifting our mindset and providing support rather than pressure. I will also share practical tips for helping your child feel more comfortable and confident, including acknowledging their feelings, reflecting on positive experiences, and celebrating their strengths.

In This Episode

👉 Respect your child's own pace

👉 Acknowledge their feelings with empathy

👉 Reflect on positive social experiences

👉 Celebrate your child's unique strengths

👉 Shift your mindset about shyness

👉 Offer support, not pressure

Want more on this topic? Check out: Stop Thinking Your Child Is Too Sensitive: Why Tears Don't Mean Fragile

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🔗 Interested in group or 1:1 Coaching? Book a Discovery Call today.

💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review.

📖 Check out my book UNPUNISHED!

Follow Peace and Parenting:

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You survived sleepless nights with a newborn, but what about sleepless nights with menopause? Is there an end in sight? I'm taking a short but important detour from our usual parenting topics to talk about something that affects so many of us: menopause. As women, our health and well-being are deeply intertwined with our ability to show up as the parents we want to be.   

Today, I welcome Julia Granacki, a board-certified health coach specializing in menopause and perimenopause. We dive into the controversial topic of hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and aim to clear up some of the confusion and misinformation surrounding it. Julia provides a wealth of information, emphasizing that it's a personal choice and sharing the latest findings on its safety and benefits.   

We also discuss practical strategies for managing menopause symptoms, including the importance of sleep, exercise, and self-care. Julia offers valuable advice on finding the right healthcare practitioners and making informed decisions about our health during this significant life transition.   

In This Episode

👉 Debunking myths about hormone replacement therapy

👉 Finding qualified menopause healthcare providers

👉 Prioritizing sleep, exercise, and self-care

👉 Understanding lesser-known menopause symptoms

👉 Exploring options for low libido

👉 Preparing for menopause at any age

Links Mentioned:

Find out more about Julia on her website Julia G Wellness and get 25% off your first intake session with code PEACE25: https://www.juliagwellness.com/

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🔗 Have questions about menopause and HRT? Check out The Menopause Society: https://menopause.org/

🔗 Interested in group or 1:1 Coaching? Book a Discovery Call today.

💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review.

📖 Check out my book UNPUNISHED!

Follow Peace and Parenting:

YouTube: @peaceandparentingla

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Tired of feeling like you always have to "fix" your child's negative emotions? Do you find yourself rushing to make them happy, even when they're expressing sadness, anger, or frustration? If you're ready to shift your perspective and learn how to embrace your child's full range of emotions, you're in the right place.

Today, I’m diving into the importance of allowing space for all feelings, even the uncomfortable ones. We often fear emotions and believe that being emotionally healthy means being happy all the time, but true emotional strength comes from acknowledging and processing a wide spectrum of feelings. Our role as parents isn't to eliminate our children's sadness or anger but to help them become attuned to, recognize, and accept their emotions. It's about being a safe space for them to land, offering empathy and understanding rather than quick fixes. Join me to explore how shifting our perspective on emotions can lead to deeper connections and greater emotional strength in both ourselves and our children.

In This Episode

👉 Embrace all emotions, even the difficult ones

👉 See hard moments as connection opportunities

👉 Offer empathy instead of quick fixes

👉 Allow children to feel their feelings

👉 Be a supportive, loving presence

👉 Model self-regulation and resilience

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🔗 Interested in group or 1:1 Coaching? Book a Discovery Call today.

💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review.

📖 Check out my book UNPUNISHED!

Follow Peace and Parenting:

YouTube: @peaceandparentingla

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Are you finding co-parenting more challenging than you ever imagined? Especially when it feels like you and your co-parent have completely different parenting styles? If you're navigating the complexities of divorce and trying to raise your child with someone you fundamentally disagree with, I understand how overwhelming it can feel.    

Today, I sit down with Stephanie, a co-parent who, like many of us, is facing the difficulties of raising a child while dealing with the fallout of a divorce. We discuss the challenges of differing parenting styles, especially regarding screen time, and the frustration of feeling like you have no control over what happens at the other parent's home.    

I share my own experiences with divorce and offer some hard-won wisdom: you can't control the other parent. Instead, focus on providing a loving and connected relationship with your child. Remember that an "okay" parent is better than none. If you're struggling with co-parenting, this episode offers validation, support, and practical advice for navigating this difficult journey.

In This Episode

👉 Accepting that you can't control the other parent

👉 Focus on your strong connection with your child

👉 Acknowledge and process your feelings of loss

👉 Striving for a neutral, conflict-free co-parenting relationship

👉 Letting go of resentment and forgiving the other parent

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🔗 Interested in group or 1:1 Coaching? Book a Discovery Call today.

💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review.

📖 Check out my book UNPUNISHED!

Follow Peace and Parenting:

YouTube: @peaceandparentingla

Instagram: @peaceandparenting

Facebook: @peaceandparentingla

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I used to think that setting strict limits was the answer to my daughter's iPad obsession. But I learned a powerful lesson: I needed to change my own habits first. In this episode, I'm sharing my story and the importance of modeling healthy electronic habits. We'll discuss how to shift from restriction to connection and create a more balanced digital environment for your family.

I admit it's not always easy! I used to be glued to my phone, even while enforcing strict rules for my daughter, Esme. Realizing my behavior contributed to the problem was a wake-up call. We need to engage with our kids, create phone-free zones, and be present during shared screen time. Today, I’ll share some practical tips to help you make these changes and foster a harmonious home. Remember, you're not alone; we all struggle, and it's about progress, not perfection.

In This Episode

👉 Model healthy electronic habits

👉 Replace screen time with connection

👉 Create phone-free zones at home

👉 Be present during shared screen time

👉 Monitor your child's content

👉 Engage kids in off-screen activities

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📱 Interested in learning how to balance parenting and technology? Join my Plugged in Parenting seminar on April 29-30: https://peaceandparentingla.com/event-understanding-kids-technology

🔗 Interested in group or 1:1 Coaching? Book a Discovery Call today.

💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review.

📖 Check out my book UNPUNISHED!

Follow Peace and Parenting:

YouTube: @peaceandparentingla

Instagram: @peaceandparenting

Facebook: @peaceandparentingla

Peace and Parenting Facebook Group

Why do family meals sometimes turn into battlegrounds instead of bonding moments? Have you ever dreaded dinner time, wishing it could feel joyful and connected again? If you’re wondering how to ease meal struggles and nurture a better relationship with your kids around food, this episode is for you.

Today, I sit down with Lindsay, a mom of two young girls, to talk through the all-too-common challenges of family mealtimes. Lindsay shares her frustration about meals becoming stressful and her desire to avoid creating unhealthy habits or a negative relationship with food. Together, we unravel not just what’s on the menu, but what’s truly fueling the dinnertime dynamic—control, connection, and long-standing expectations.

You’ll hear practical tips drawn right from my own parenting journey and candid, compassionate support for parents grappling with food fears. If you’re seeking more peace at your table and a gentle nudge to trust the process, this episode is sure to leave you inspired.

In This Episode

👉 Releasing expectations for perfect mealtimes

👉 Implementing Special Time to foster connection

👉 Using playful games to ease pre-dinner tension

👉 Letting go of food power struggles and threats

👉 Trusting long-term nutrition over one meal

👉 Encouragement to prioritize relationship over rules

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🔗 Help your child move through their emotions with meaningful game play, in this FREE download.

🔗 Interested in group or 1:1 Coaching? Book a Discovery Call today.

💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review.

📖 Check out my book UNPUNISHED!

Follow Peace and Parenting:

YouTube: @peaceandparentingla

Instagram: @peaceandparenting

Facebook: @peaceandparentingla

Peace and Parenting Facebook Group