Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast Oh Crap with Jamie
| Titre | Date | Durée | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 196: After School Restraint Collapse and Writing Practice | 29 Aug 2024 | 00:40:45 | |
Today, I tackle a topic that’s been causing quite a stir in many households: After-School Restraint Collapse. You know, that moment when your little one comes home from school and just melts down after holding it all together all day? It’s a real thing, and it’s hitting kindergarteners, first graders, and second graders hard. In this episode, I share why it happens and how you can help your kids transition smoothly from the structured school environment to the calm of home. From allowing transition time to prioritizing outdoor play and early bedtimes, I cover strategies to make these after-school hours a little less chaotic and a lot more connected. Plus, I dive into the importance of playtime and how we can better balance homework with much-needed family time. Let’s navigate this together and ensure our kids get the support they need as they adapt to the demands of school life. Jamie's Courses Jamie's Instagram Oh Crap! Cafe Parenting Community Oh Crap! Potty Training | |||
| 195: Connection Buckets | 22 Aug 2024 | 00:43:16 | |
In Episode 195 of the Oh Crap Parenting Podcast, I address what might be the most important topic we’ve covered to date: the impact of parental exhaustion and the crucial need for connection with our kids. Lately, I’ve been seeing more and more behavioral issues—meltdowns, out-of-control behavior, even potty training setbacks—and I believe it all boils down to a lack of connection and the frantic pace of our lives. In this episode, I talk about how slowing down, reducing outside activities, and focusing on being truly present with our children can make all the difference. This isn’t just another parenting tip—it’s about creating a calm, connected family life that helps our kids thrive. Jamie's Courses Jamie's Instagram Oh Crap! Cafe Parenting Community Oh Crap! Potty Training | |||
| 186: How To Apologize | 20 Jun 2024 | 00:27:08 | |
Today we're talking about the art of apologizing, especially with our kids. Apologies aren't just about saying "sorry" – they’re about making amends and truly repairing relationships. I'll talk about the key components of a genuine apology, like taking responsibility, expressing real remorse, and listening to the other person's perspective. We'll discuss why overpromising in apologies can be harmful and how to avoid defensive reactions. I’ll also share tips on effective communication and addressing past hurts without deflecting responsibility. Tune in to learn how to foster healthier, more honest relationships through sincere apologies. Jamie's Courses Jamie's Instagram Oh Crap! Cafe Parenting Community Oh Crap! Potty Training | |||
| 96. When Your Spouse Has Trauma, Words for the Year | 19 Jan 2023 | 00:39:50 | |
Today, I’m going to give you the skinny on podcast releases as I get ready to release my trauma series from Patreon. We’ll also go over what you should do if your spouse hasn’t done trauma work but is parenting from a place of trauma response. We’ll also go through some parents' word of the year that they shared. And some more life lessons with me and Pascal.
Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
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| |||
| 95. Interview with Nutritionist Sophie Ricard | 17 Jan 2023 | 01:13:41 | |
Today, I’m interviewing Sophie Ricard. She’s a child nutritionist specializing in both picky eating AND optimizing your child’s nutrition for focus + school performance. She has a wide lens on food and kids that I love and super helpful tips and tricks for toddlers to teens.
Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
| |||
| 94. How and Why I Eat and Train the Way I Do: A Very Long Story | 12 Jan 2023 | 01:00:37 | |
After being asked over and over for a more in depth peek into my movement and eating, I’m laying it bare. From my first dissociative eating episode to cruising through menopause, welcome to the fun house.
Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
| |||
| 93. Navigating Separation with Alicia Robertson | 10 Jan 2023 | 00:43:42 | |
Today, I’m joined by author, speaker, and life coach, Alicia Robertson. She owns and operates Lemonade Life, which is devoted to helping women deal with the intricacies of separation and divorce. We’ll be discussing:
How to deal with not-so-amicable divorces
Why staying for the kids is a bad idea
Fear of the broken home
Navigating scheduling, clashing styles, and inconsistency
Introducing new partners
Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Joyful Toddler Parenting - https://joyfultoddlerparenting.com/
Lemonade Life homepage: www.lemonadelife.ca
And on IG: @lemonadelifecoach
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| |||
| 92. Interview with Megg Thompson | 05 Jan 2023 | 00:34:23 | |
Today I’m interviewing certified behavioral consultant Megg Thomspon
Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Megg’s Homepage - https://meggthompson.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
| |||
| 91. Money and Mischief | 03 Jan 2023 | 00:47:30 | |
Today we’ll be talking about:
Teaching kids about money
Practical experience with bills and expenses
Peer pressure and the appeal of mischief
Balancing being yourself and fitting in
Peer orientation and maintaining parental closeness
Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Joyful Toddler Parenting - https://joyfultoddlerparenting.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
| |||
| 90. A Personal, End of Year Catch Up With Me. | 29 Dec 2022 | 00:34:05 | |
We’ll open with a few examples of repairing ruptured connections with your child And then I’ll catch you up on my mom, Pascal, and my end-of-year musings. | |||
| 89. The Power of Creativity with Jeff Fajans | 27 Dec 2022 | 00:39:36 | |
The power of creativity with Jeff Fajans
Jeff is the creator of Beastie Boys for Babies. Today, we’ll discuss:
Creating a different kind of kids’ music
Staying creative as a parent
Igniting creativity in your kid
Getting over procrastination, perfectionism, and needing permission
Jeff's website: Jefffajans.com
Jeff's IG: @jefffajans/@mrboodaddy
Jeff on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/43rFw4hHCMe7zM8xJw2Lcf
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| |||
| 88. Do Your Trauma Work | 22 Dec 2022 | 00:35:26 | |
Today, I’ll be giving 2 real life examples about how unresolved trauma work can show up in your life. And why I think it’s so important for you to do this work, especially as your kids get older and need a different way of parenting.
Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Joyful Toddler Parenting - https://joyfultoddlerparenting.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
| |||
| 87. Emotional Nuance, Authenticity, and not Talking Sh*t | 20 Dec 2022 | 00:28:22 | |
Emotional Nuance, Authenticity, and not talking sh*t
Today we’ll be talking about:
Toddlers not really getting emotional nuance
Play fighting and good vs evil
Authenticity, vulnerability, and community
Minding your tongue and not talking sh*t
Coaxing, cajoling, and begging
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| |||
| 185: Core Memories Are BS | 13 Jun 2024 | 00:25:53 | |
Hey you guys! Today, we're talking core memories, popularized by the Pixar movie Inside Out, and discuss how this idea, while engaging, is not based in science. I caution against the societal pressure parents may feel to create these "perfect" memories, emphasizing that true core memories are formed from the emotional connections behind everyday moments. Forget about orchestrating extravagant events; the best memories come from simple, meaningful interactions like cooking together or playing outside. Tune in to learn how staying present and creating loving, calm moments can help build lasting, positive memories for your children.
Jamie's Courses Jamie's Instagram Oh Crap! Cafe Parenting Community | |||
| 86. Parenting Pivots | 15 Dec 2022 | 00:33:21 | |
Often, starting from birth, we have to pivot as parents. Pivot away from our vision, our ideals, our own values. This can be because of circumstances beyond our control, life changes, or simply the child in front of us. Because that child may be struggling or actually may be thriving in a way different than what we visioned or had hoped. This episode is dedicated to all those pivots, hard and easy…acknowledging them and honoring them.
Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Joyful Toddler Parenting - https://joyfultoddlerparenting.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
| |||
| 85. When Co-Regulation Doesn't Work | 13 Dec 2022 | 00:37:39 | |
Co-regulation is a current parenting buzz word. And yes, it’s amazing and we all should do it when our children are having big feelings. But I work in the real world and there are many times we can’t co-regulate because we ourselves are dysregulated. Let’s dive into what to do next.
Also in this episode: let’s discuss slightly older kids and the “gardening” phase of parenting.
Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Joyful Toddler Parenting - https://joyfultoddlerparenting.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
| |||
| 84. Holiday Cheer in the Year of Inflation | 08 Dec 2022 | 00:24:40 | |
Everyone is feeling the crunch of inflation this holiday season. While it’s great to remember that our kids just really want connection, it can be hard to think of things in the moment. Especially when we’re stressed. So we made you a list!
And we’re gonna talk about Santa. Cause you gotta talk about Santa.
Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Joyful Toddler Parenting - https://joyfultoddlerparenting.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
| |||
| 83. High Expectations and Emotional Sobriety | 06 Dec 2022 | 00:36:35 | |
I am highly recommending two books: Hunt Gather Parent and Radical Confidence
Both these books contain valuable parenting lessons. Largely, expect kids to misbehave…it is going to happen so how do you be angry without losing your shit. But also distress tolerance and emotional sobriety. As parents, we can’t afford to get on the same emotional roller coaster as our little ones.
Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Joyful Toddler Parenting - https://joyfultoddlerparenting.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
| |||
| 82. Interview with Sara Rose Whaley | 01 Dec 2022 | 00:58:30 | |
I interviewed Sara Rose Whaley of Joyfultodderparenting.com. Sara is MY JAM. We’re just gonna pull it apart today.
Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Joyful Toddler Parenting - https://joyfultoddlerparenting.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 81. Green Day | 29 Nov 2022 | 00:32:04 | |
Please join me on literally the best night of my life. I have NEVER felt so connected to Pascal.
Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Dane Obleman’s Homepage www.SleepSense.net and Instagram
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| 80. Interview with Shonda Moralis | 24 Nov 2022 | 00:32:51 | |
Shonda is a psychotherapist and a licensed social worker. She helps women find balance in life with kids, work, and all the stressors that can wind us up.
She’s the author of Breathe, Mama, Breathe and Just Breathe.
Today we’re talking about mindfulness and how to PAUSE before losing our shit.
Jamie’s Homepage
Oh Crap! Potty Training
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler
Jamie’s Patreon Page
Jamie’s Instagram Page
Shonda’s website
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 79. Interview with Ava Maria Marcos, Pt. 2 | 22 Nov 2022 | 00:35:37 | |
we’re continuing our conversation from part 1
digging into advocating for your child and the education system
Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Jamie’s Instagram Page: @jamie.glowacki
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 78. 12 Ways to Thrive (Not Just Survive) During the Holidays | 17 Nov 2022 | 00:29:34 | |
Today I’ll list my 12 favorite ways to make the holiday season a little easier for you and the kids. Plus a few extra tips about how to handle family toxicity.
Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Jamie’s Instagram Page: @jamie.glowacki
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 77. ADHD, Advocacy, and the Education System with Ana Maria Marcos, Pt. 1 | 15 Nov 2022 | 00:27:48 | |
Today I’m interviewing Ana Maria Marcos, licensed marriage and family therapist. We’re discussing:
Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki? Jamie’s Instagram Page: @jamie.glowacki | |||
| 184: Pathological Demand Avoidance | 06 Jun 2024 | 00:38:46 | |
In this episode, I dive into the complex world of Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), a subtype of autism spectrum disorder characterized by extreme avoidance of social demands and anxiety-driven meltdowns. We'll explore the nuances of PDA, how it manifests in children, and why it often goes unrecognized in traditional autism screenings. I’ll share effective strategies to manage PDA and similar behaviors, emphasizing the importance of tailored support and understanding. By implementing low-demand cues and fostering collaboration and autonomy, we can help our kids feel more in control and less anxious. Join me as we unravel the intricacies of PDA and learn practical ways to support our children's unique needs. Jamie's Courses Jamie's Instagram Oh Crap! Cafe Parenting Community | |||
| 76. Beating the Winter Blues and the Right Gear | 10 Nov 2022 | 00:43:42 | |
This originally aired on Patreon and has been updated
In this episode:
Winter and darkness are upon us!
Things I do to take care of myself physically AND mentally
Foods that boost immunity (and foods that don’t)
There’s no such thing as bad weather, only bad gear
How to look forward to winter and appreciate the slowing down
Let’s run through all the gear I love and how to get it cheaper
The brands I love (but feel free to share yours on IG!)
Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Jamie’s Instagram Page: @jamie.glowacki
Links: the light pad I use
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| 75. Helping Your Child Build Autonomy | 08 Nov 2022 | 00:37:56 | |
In this episode:
a major complaint I hear is kids not playing independently
but we tend to do too much for our kids, making them reliant on us
teaching independence varies according to age
generally speaking, it’s never too early to start teaching independence
let’s go through all the ways you can start letting your child be independent
and look at how we get in our way doing so
Buy Jamie’s book
Jamie’s Instagram
Jamie’s Patreon
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 74. Big Play + Heavy Work | 03 Nov 2022 | 00:34:26 | |
In this episode:
did you know we have 3 other senses? Proprioception, vestibular, + interoception
we’ll go through what these mean and why they’re most important for kids
what happens when these systems are underdeveloped
things that are contributing to this underdevelopment in many kids today
how to fix that without labeling kids
big play and heavy work are whole body movements
organized sports DO NOT COUNT as big play, neither does “running around”
this is the most vital aspect of childhood that’s going by the way side
how we can incorporate big play/heavy work into our lives regardless of our living situations
for the love of all that is holy: GET OUTSIDE!
Buy Jamie’s book
Jamie’s Instagram
Jamie’s Patreon
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 73. The Overscheduled Child and the Culture of ‘Busy’ | 01 Nov 2022 | 00:45:58 | |
In this episode:
our kids are overscheduling and not getting enough downtime
a huge culprit is organized sports
is your little one resisting organized sports? If no, rock on. If yes…
my thoughts on organized sports for the under 5 crew
let’s examine why organized sports are a relatively new “MUST”.
we’ll pull apart YOUR why…why do you want your child in sports
as a society…what’s changed that kids are so overscheduled in general
a comprehensive list of how we got here
things we can do to ease up on the overscheduling and the busy
Buy Jamie’s book
Jamie’s Instagram
Jamie’s Patreon
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
| |||
| 72. Halloween 2022 | 27 Oct 2022 | 00:30:24 | |
In this episode we’re going to dig into:
“what to do with all the candy” options…probably old hat for some of you but news to the newer parents.
And we’ll dig into ways you can help make Halloween less meltdowny. Largely by front loading super big play, super good nutrition, and super good sleep.
And psst…come closer, I wanna tell you a secret: If you child is under 3, you can actually skip Halloween if you want to.
Buy Jamie’s book
Jamie’s Instagram
Jamie’s Patreon
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| 71. Values-Filled Advice About Sleep Routines and De-escalating Situations | 25 Oct 2022 | 00:34:39 | |
This week, we’re going to dive right into two topics that are both highly relevant these days. Lately, I’m hearing a lot from private clients, Instagram, and patrons alike about sleep routines for kids that are starting to give up their naps – and I’ll give you a heads-up, it’s actually more about the parents’ values. We’ll also look at de-escalating situations, which I’m sure you’ll all agree is a skill that is currently in great demand throughout our entire country. I’ll share with you the importance of sleep, particularly in children under 6, and how the decision about sleep routines is very much rooted in the values which each of the parents hold. In light of this fact, I also strongly encourage you all to read (or re-read) the ‘Values’ chapter in my Oh Crap! I Have a Toddler book for more in-depth information and exercises to follow. Moving onto our other topic, I provide the steps involved in de-escalating situations whether on-line, in person or otherwise, and which are valuable when dealing with adults, and can work with children as well. As mentioned, these seem to be growing into hot topics in parenting and relationships these days – today’s episode will assist you in navigating your way through them and lead to the development of the healthy, happy, well adjusted adults for which we all strive.
The Finer Details of This Episode: · It is well documented that children need more sleep than they’re currently getting in our society · We all have internal value systems · One common value clash in parents is one valuing routine and boundaries and the other more valuing creativity and super adventure · When the child is under 6 boundaries and routines are best for kids · You’re actually doing your child a brain/intellectual disservice by not giving them plenty of sleep · If you’re in a situation where one parent stays home with the kids, that parent gets the final say on this issue, because they deal with the consequences the next day · Read the chapter on ‘Values’ in my book, Oh Crap? I Have a Toddler · As parents, it’s important to determine what your values are so you can come to an understanding · Walking away is always an option when a situation is escalating · No matter what the escalation, remember kindness first · If you activate a childhood wound, you are adding fuel to the fire · Bring your vocal quality down when de-escalating · In any given escalation, determine what the other person needs to hear and acknowledge that · You have to offer a bridge to the olive branch · Find out what you need in this emotional transaction – and it can’t be ‘to be right’ · If you don’t care about the relationship, just walk away
Quotes: “When you put an already kind of psychotic three year old on less sleep, you are adding fuel to a massive fire!” “You have your child’s entire childhood to be the whimsical adventuresome parent, and…your ten year old is going to love you for this. But your three year old is just going to be a fucking mess tomorrow, plain and simple.” “You’re not raising a kid for your feelings. You’re raising a kid to be a healthy, happy, well adjusted adult.” “There’s tons of nuance and grey in every situation.” “You are never, ever going to de-escalate any sort of situation without kindness.” “Most often, all of us just want to be heard…we don’t even need to be right.”
Links: Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler - Jamie’s Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki? | |||
| 70. You Asked For It: September 2020 Edition | 20 Oct 2022 | 00:37:47 | |
It’s time once again to answer some questions from my incredible patrons. I can’t tell you how much I love hearing from you all, and, at the moment it looks like we’ll be doing these episodes around once a month, so sit back and enjoy the September 2020 Edition!
Today, we’ll look at an assortment of patron queries around such topics as introducing your dates to your kids, independent play and expressing ‘fear’, and toddler regression when a new sibling arrives. I’ll also offer advice about getting your kids to eat at mealtimes, dealing with ‘inconsequential behavior’, and managing contact with toxic family members both for yourself and your kids. Again, I absolutely love hearing from you all, and your questions are excellent ones for all parents to learn about, so please keep them coming!
The Finer Details of This Episode:
· Don’t introduce someone you’re dating to your child(ren) too soon
· So many factors regarding your situation go into the decision of when to do this
· Recognize that your child will either become very attached to this person or rebel against them
· Introducing many new people creates an unstable feeling in the child
· To introduce independent play, start by setting a timer
· Many times children will use the word ‘scared’ when they don’t have the right word for how they’re feeling, so help them in that moment to broaden their vocabulary
· If a child is truly scared, you are going to know it
· If a child is just regressing in one area, but continuing to grow in others, indulge this one area and exaggerate it
· We cannot underestimate the effect of the pandemic on our kids
· If your child is not sitting and eating at mealtimes, stop snacks
· There’s not a standard for inconsequential behavior
· If repeated talk of killing/shooting is targeted, it needs to be dealt with
· If you micromanage everything your child says, they will rebel, so pick and choose ‘which hill you want to die on’ according to your values
· When it comes to toxic family members, you have every right to cut communication, and you don’t have to foster a bond between the children
Quotes:
“The only thing I think you shouldn’t do is, like, introduce somebody for, like, the second date…make sure the relationship’s got legs.”
“Scared and hurt are two hot buttons for kids because they know that those two words are going to make you stop.”
“The regression of wanting to be like a baby is so natural.”
“He just needed to know that he was still my baby.”
“There are words that can cause harm, too.”
“As parents, we are the gateway to our children.”
“The parents are the bridge at that age.”
“I want to be around people who love me and who treat me kindly.”
Links:
Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
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| 69. Making Prepping Make Sense | 19 Oct 2022 | 00:45:25 | |
On today’s episode, I’m joined by Janae, who runs a website and Instagram account called Prepared Like a Mother, where she helps readers learn to prepare things like food storage for emergencies. You all know I’m a casual prepper, so I wanted to have Janae on to help us learn a little bit more about how to prepare for emergencies—not the zombie apocalypse kind, but real-life shit. First, Janae explains how she got into disaster preparedness via a childhood obsession with severe weather and a resulting determination not to be left scrambling in the event of a disaster. She then turns to food storage specifically and discusses the benefits of maintaining a store even outside of doomsday events, along with practical, sensible tips on creating a store without getting wacky about it. Plus, we talk about our efforts with homesteading and how it’s a return to a way of life that used to be normal, even if our views on canning differ somewhat!
I then ask Janae to guide us through what she’d put in a bare-bones disaster preparedness kit. She emphasizes that basic prepping doesn’t have to consist of an extravagant, expensive list of stuff and that most people have a lot of what they need in their houses already. She also tackles the issue of affordability and food storage, acknowledging that even day-to-day groceries are expensive right now and advising building up your store slowly and steadily with small extra purchases. And finally, we return to the idea of normalizing preparedness and discuss how to avoid panic by making casual prep a part of your everyday life in a way that makes sense for you.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
The benefits of having a food store
Storing food without going to the wacky side
Janae’s bare-bones disaster preparedness guide
Disaster preparedness and affordability
Normalizing preparedness
Quotes:
“Even as a young child, I’ve always loved severe weather. And with that love, you see the catastrophic events, you see what it does, you see people hurting and dying and starving and in really bad ways. And then, in my brain, I was like, oh, I need to be prepared for that because I don’t want to be that person who can’t feed my family, and I don’t want to be that person who isn’t ready and scrambling.”
“Food storage comes in handy for a job loss. Food storage comes in handy for just if you are in the middle of cooking dinner, and you’re like, crap, I don’t have, I don’t even know, barbecue sauce. So go in the food storage, go get your barbecue sauce. You don’t have to hurry and run to the store. So there’s so many more good reasons to have a food storage than a doomsday.”
“If you’re using your seventy-two-hour kits or natural disaster, whatever happens, you’re basically just going on a miserable vacation. You know, you’re not going to have your house, you’re not going to have whatever. So you have to adapt. And most people have the ability to adapt in their own house, they can just throw it all in a bag.”
“Do what’s going to make you most comfortable. You’re going to be the one that’s in charge of your own destiny if there’s an earthquake, or if there’s a hurricane, or if there’s a nor’easter, you’re in charge of yourself, so do what makes sense to you.”
Links:
Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Jamie’s Instagram Page: @jamie.glowacki
Janae’s Instagram Page: @preparedlikeamother
Prepared Like A Mother Homepage: http://www.preparedlikeamother.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 68. Mom-Shaming and What To Do About It | 18 Oct 2022 | 00:38:10 | |
Today’s episode is all about something that I see increasingly with Moms, and never really with Dads, but it sorely needs to be addressed, so Dads, feel free to listen in as well. Mom-shaming is definitely on the increase, especially through the internet and social media, and today we’ll look at some of its components and I’ll share my perspective on what to do if it’s happening to you.
I begin by looking at the prevalence of ‘identity parenting’ in society today, the importance of ‘staying in your lane’ and just how difficult the internet and social media make this for everyone, particularly through the algorithms they employ. We’ll explore the notion that we, as humans, want to be part of a group, and that currently our groups are so often formed through common ideology where people are getting different takes on the news and care about different things from each other. I dive deep on the causes and concerns with judging others and the futility of debating others online. The current example of where we are all at with COVID-19 protocols perfectly exemplifies the notion that we are all using a goal-risk-reward system to make the best decisions for ourselves and our families, and I recommend that everyone revisit Episode 33 about ‘asking and guessing’. Throughout today’s episode, I stress that it’s okay for you to set a boundary without making another person wrong, that you need to stay in your lane, and that you can never know everything that another person is dealing with in their lives. In the end, this episode represents the latest installment in my overall goal of helping you stay sane, effective and calm, especially in these uncertain times.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
· Currently there is ‘Identity Parenting’
· It’s okay for you to set a boundary without making another person wrong
· The internet and social media have made it so much harder to ‘stay in your lane’
· Our groups have moved beyond family-based to be ideologically-based
· Our internet algorithms are based on confirmation bias
· People are getting different takes on the news
· Some parents don’t care about the same things as you
· Except in cases of extreme abuse, we have to go with the idea that everybody wants the best for their kids
· Stay in your lane to stay sane
· You don’t know another person’s situation
· Judging others is appealing because it makes us feel better about ourselves
· Do not get into these debates on line with people
· Navigating the differing protocols surrounding COVID-19 precautions is difficult these days
· You want to figure out where you’re at with these protocols
· All of us are using a goal-risk-reward system
· Be very clear about what you need in any given moment
· Be flexible
· Again, it’s okay for you to set a boundary without making another person wrong
· You also can’t be mad when the other person sets their boundary
Quotes:
“Everyone is on edge, and everyone is poised and ready for a fight.”
“It feels like every choice we make needs to be defended.”
“It just is astounding to me that people assume that we’re all seeing the same thing.”
“The algorithm is set to increase, to escalate whatever it is you like.”
“How about a private message? How about a gentle nudge?”
“We can’t do it all, and that’s what’s killing us.”
“She needed a hug more than she needed to stay 6 feet away.”
“Is the reward worth the risk?”
“You can’t be in people’s heads.”
“My interest in helping you guys as parents is to help keep you sane and effective and calm.”
Links:
Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 67. Asking the Right Questions to Get the Right Solution | 13 Oct 2022 | 00:29:15 | |
This week’s episode holds some parallels with last week’s show where I stressed the need to find the right effort behind the outcome when offering praise to your child. This time around, I’m looking at the need to ask the right question in order to find the right solution to problem behaviors your children may be exhibiting. Unfortunately, these days we’re finding an increasing number of parents who are looking for non-existent solutions due to their wrong questions, and I’m here to set the record straight today.
I begin by reviewing just how critical it is to ask the right question, and acknowledging that crappy behavior always has a root cause. I then discuss the questions, especially the ‘Why?” questions which help us to dig down deep into these root causes, and offer a few examples - which you will probably recognize from your own life - and their solutions, to help you understand the required approach. The value of using “I’ statements and working with your partner to find a solution without blame or resentment is also emphasized. Rest assured, a solution can always be found, so join me as I walk you through the process here today - you and your family will definitely be glad you did.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
· Asking the right questions will help you get to the right solution
· Crappy behavior is a symptom – there is always a root cause
· Some parents are looking for non-existent solutions
· Go back and listen to the ‘Psycho Mom’ episode
· Part of what happens when we go ‘psycho mom’ is that we don’t show true feelings
· We can get to the real solution by finding out how to help you
· There’s always a solution when you land on the right problem
· With only a very rare exception, toddlers should be going to bed around 7:00, maybe 7:30 – kids are getting to bed too late these days
· Kids have a ‘food rhythm’
· Makes meals nutritious and easy
· Family dinner becomes important when your kids start going to school, getting peer-oriented and start pulling away from you, not when they’re a toddler
· Always question ‘Why?’
· Use ‘I’ statements and avoid blame and resentment when coming up with solutions with your partner
Quotes:
“We always want to be working on the root cause.”
“Parents are presenting with a problem, and it’s the wrong problem.”
“I have no magic wand to control your child’s pee muscles.”
“Picking up their toys was not really the issue, yeah?”
“No kid has listened the first time…stop wishing for this.”
“When you give a mom, I don’t know, 20 minutes to vent, holy shit, can she talk!”
“You went psycho because, probably, there is an unequal division of labor.”
“You have to lean into each other and the sympathies.”
“You’ve got to look at the right problem.”
“The pattern of thinking is what’s important.”
Links:
Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Psycho mom episode: https://jamieglowacki.libsyn.com/psycho-mom
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 183: Seeing Through Your Child's Lens | 30 May 2024 | 00:22:27 | |
Hey, hey, you guys! I dive into the importance of seeing the world through our children's eyes. We start by discussing the magical perspective children have on nature walks, where every creek and puddle is an adventure. Then, I share a personal story about how my son's fascination with trains led us to hours of joy at the train station, highlighting the value of child-led exploration. We also touch on complex family dynamics, such as relationships with estranged grandparents, and how our kids' views can offer unexpected insights. Join me as we explore how embracing our children's unique perspectives can enrich our parenting journey and strengthen our family connections. Jamie's Courses Jamie's Instagram Oh Crap! Cafe Parenting Community | |||
| 66. Waiting, Screen Times, and Sparking Graciousness: More Responses to Patron Questions | 11 Oct 2022 | 00:37:39 | |
Welcome back to another episode where I get a chance to respond to some patron questions that I’m sure many of you out there are asking as well. The two we are looking at today deal with waiting and screen time, and with sparking graciousness in your child.
As a full believer that, if you need to, use screens to help babysit your kids, I also look at the creative benefits of boredom, and the importance of kids being aware of their surroundings. Delayed gratification remains an issue with kids these days, and the arts of conversation and behaving with other people are suffering from their dependence on screens, so I also offer a number of strategies to use in restaurants, grocery stores and at appointments to help keep kids occupied while also improving these skills. Regarding graciousness, I outline when this actually becomes developmentally possible for kids, and I stress again the need to model the behaviors we wish to see in our children. I cannot tell you just how much I appreciate you and your questions – please keep them coming so that we can all benefit from the learning that results.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
· If you need to, allow screens and be clear and honest with yourself about why you’re doing it
· We should keep up learning how to occupy ourselves in our own heads
· The importance of being aware of your surroundings
· Delayed gratification is an issue these days
· Kids can be in low-level distress
· It’s okay to not go to restaurants if your child is not going to handle it well
· Keeping the art of conversation is key
· We’re losing the art of how to behave with other people because of screens
· Stop ordering for your child as soon as you can
· Audiobooks, music, car games are great for the car
· Card games, dice, drawing, small talk are great for restaurants
· Grocery stores are filled with opportunities to keep children interested
· Consider what is being learned or what is being missed when your child is on a screen
· Around the age of 8-10, children start to recognize that the world is not just about them – until that point it’s hard for them to see beyond themselves
· Kids come in and out of graciousness
· Model, model, model – graciousness, taking responsibility, being grateful
Quotes:
“There’s no magical age where your kid’s all of a sudden going to be a patient waiter.”
“Nobody died from boredom…boredom begets creativity.”
“Our kids are just going to have different brains than we have…we’re constantly evolving.”
“Life is great when you think it’s just about you!”
“You can’t bank graciousness in your kids.”
“I think so many of us are more bitter than we think, and so check in on yourself.”
“Watch your mindset.”
“What a beautiful time to be alive.”
“I love the questions!”
Links:
Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 65. My Spartan Race Awakening | 06 Oct 2022 | 00:33:38 | |
On today’s episode, I want to share the details of the Spartan Beast obstacle course I ran at the start of September. It took place on Mount Killington in Vermont (a very steep ski mountain) and is considered the hardest of the Spartan races worldwide, resembling an outdoor Ninja Warrior course with hanging obstacles. This was my first time back running a Spartan race after I fell during one last year and blew out my knee, after which a doctor said I needed surgery, and I refused in favor of doing my own rehab. That same doctor told me I’d never run another Spartan race if I didn’t get the surgery, which I, of course, took as a challenge, so running this race was a validation of my choices. And I got that validation in the best way, managing to have fun, enjoy the community, and run a clean race (i.e. without missing an obstacle), something not many people manage!
Speaking of challenging myself, this summer, I did the 75 Hard Challenge, a mental toughness program that involves hydration, working out, reading, and sticking to clean eating. This was a hard, monotonous program, but it taught me some really important lessons, including how to identify self-sabotaging behavior and stop letting yourself down. It also helped me to realize how often my choices aren’t aligned with my goals and that I can reach those goals more easily by choosing to do a little more instead of going easy on myself. That’s a lesson that can apply to parenting and other areas of life: showing up consistently and not paying attention to the internal urge to backslide will pay huge dividends. And for me, the goal is to maintain my health and strength, not by making my life longer but by making sure I can live in my body with joy and vitality for as long as possible.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
Running the Spartan Beast on Mount Killington
Taking joy in what our bodies can do
Running a clean race
Deciding to stop disappointing ourselves
Aging with joy and vibrancy
Quotes:
“He said, ‘Just so you know, you’ll never run another Spartan Race unless you get surgery.’ I think you guys know me well enough by now to know that that was like, hold my electrolyte water. Because I’ll be back with a medal.”
“One of the best parts was, I bring magnesium spray for cramping. And guys cramp more often than women because they have thicker muscle mass. So every time I crested a ridge, there would be a group of guys feverishly rubbing their quads and their calves. And so I got to be, like, the magnesium-spray fairy.”
“I saw so many people sort of immersed in the suckage of the race. It’s a brutal race. And I just kept looking around me, and I was like, I get to do this. My body is so amazing, I get to do this, this is crazy. You know, sometimes people at my age are couch-bound, on medicines, and I said, God, I was so, like, in love with my body.”
“I had a chance to run a clean race, which means you don’t miss any of the obstacles, which is not that common. And I did, I ran a clean race, and I was so proud of myself. I was like, doing leprechaun leaps, and the rest of the race was effortless for me because I was like, wait a minute, I can run a clean race now.”
“My brother said to me, ‘You know, we’re all gonna die someday,’ and I was like, I don’t care if I die tomorrow, I want to live in my body with joy and vitality and health as long as I can. I’m not trying to make my life longer, I want my life to be healthy.”
Links:
Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Jamie’s Instagram Page: @jamie.glowacki
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 64. Trauma, Shame, and the Power of Modeling Reconnection | 06 Oct 2022 | 00:37:09 | |
Today’s episode is all about trauma – ‘Big T Trauma’, and ‘little t trauma’. As you may have noticed, the word ‘traumatized’ is greatly overused in parenting these days, and I have more than a few thoughts that I want and need to share with you all about it.
First off, I define what both ‘Big T Trauma’ and ‘little t trauma’ are, explain why we need to stop using the word ‘traumatizing’, and explore the notion of ‘childhood wounds’ and their basis in shame. I then share some of Brene Brown’s ideas surrounding the toxic nature of shame along with some of my own, and offer some strategies to help you avoid adding to it and to help your kids become more resilient with it. You’re going to want to be sure to stick around until the very end for my own moment of epiphany regarding the power that modeling holds in increasing or reducing shame. This is an intensely personal episode for me concerning a topic with which we all have experience, and about which we can and must make a positive impact in our own lives and the lives of our children.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
· ‘Big T Trauma’ includes all the things that affect your physical and mental wellbeing, such as physical and mental abuse and severe neglect
· ‘Big T Trauma’ affects brain development, and is often generational
· Things like timeouts, potty training, and sleep training are not traumatizing
· Shame goes hand in hand with humiliation
· We can’t really control these wounds from happening, but we can avoid adding to them, and we can help our kids be a little more resilient to them
· Brene Brown is an excellent resource who defines shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and, therefore, unworthy of love and belonging
· People become involved in drugs and alcoholism because of shame
· Stop trying to be perfect – it will result in you losing ‘your shit’ and that is where the damage comes in
· You have to deal with your own wounds and emotions
· When we rage at our kids, or, conversely, react with silence, we create fear in them and fear translates into shame later on in their lives
· Be cautious to state that it’s the behavior that is undesirable, not the child
· Be willing to listen to your child when they have a legitimate complaint about you – don’t get defensive – and be willing to change
· If your child does something wrong, say it once and then let it go – don’t keep repeating it
· Model the behavior you’re looking for
· There’s no reason to feel shame, to feel disconnected – reconnect after the dust settles to avoid the wounds
· Model to your kids that fuck-ups happen and that you can reconnect – if, instead, you rage and get defensive, you model that they should be ashamed of fuck-ups
Quotes:
“Your child is going to grow up and have some childhood wounds…it is going to happen no matter how wonderful a parent you are.”
“I think this is so awful a feeling that we, as humans, will do anything to run from it.”
“The pain of shame is so huge.”
“We all have these moments of dysregulation…you have to be willing to confront your flaws.”
“No one is ever ‘always’ something or ‘never’ something…once those words are out of our mouths you can’t take them back…the damage is done.”
“He felt scared when I was so quiet, because I was not just being quiet…I was just sucking the oxygen out of the room.”
“You just want to avoid that culture of fear.”
“We’re showing them that fucking up gets you a huge reaction.”
“We want to model how to handle criticism.”
“This is blowing my mind!”
Links:
Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 63. Q&A: More on Govern/Garden/Guide | 04 Oct 2022 | 00:38:09 | |
As you all know I absolutely love hearing from you all, and so many good questions are coming my way these days that I figured now is the perfect time to offer my responses. While some of these questions are specific to the pandemic and all that it entails, the answers, as you’ll see, offer information and advice that are beneficial at any time.
I’ll start by further exploring the ‘Govern, Garden, Guide’ concept which we have looked at in the past, and also share some strategies about ending the use of pacifiers and thumb sucking. Other questions I look at are regarding children who are still experiencing difficulty dealing with the restrictions that the pandemic has generated, addressing both typical and violent tantrums, teaching kids to be able to laugh things off, and instilling a good attitude in children. The topics may seem wide ranging, but woven through them all is the desire to provide our children with the strong foundation they need to enjoy strong and rewarding relationships throughout their lives. Let me tell you, there’s definitely something in today’s episode for everyone.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
· Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne is one of my favorite parenting books
· It’s developmentally inappropriate to try to guide a toddler
· You make your toddler feel safe by bonding, setting the rules and boundaries, and letting them know that you’ve ‘got them’
· If your child is having tantrums, you have to look at your governing and your boundaries for firmness and consistency
· If a child feels unsafe, it yields poor behavior
· It is very important to lay this foundation from 0-6 for future years
· If you wait until teen years to discipline, you are fucked
· Ending pacifier use can be a matter of just taking it away or slowly cutting a bit of a hole in it over the period of a couple weeks which reduces its ‘big suck’ appeal
· Before employing techniques such as putting a nasty tasting lotion on the thumb or putting a mitt on a child’s hand to stop thumb sucking, check in with your dentist
· For children who still don’t understand the restrictions imposed by the pandemic, check in on how you talk about the lockdown – ex. saying ‘I get to’ rather than ‘I have to’
· Kids forget and kids are resilient
· We are over-socialized – the true extrovert is very rare
· We need to transition our children back into social situations gradually from this ‘lockdown’
· The child who is very dysregulated in the house has to go to their room to learn to self-regulate – it’s respectful to let them have their big feelings in there
· Revisit the ‘Go to Your Room Strategy’ podcast
· Attitudes are caught – watch what you are modeling when showing your child how to laugh things off, help others out, handle angry moments, lose graciously, etc.
Quotes:
“You can’t guide a toddler, you have to govern.”
“It’s pure brain development.”
“Crappy behavior is often your child asking you to say, ‘No’.”
“You’re laying the foundation for the beauty of the relationship later.”
“Discipline is like teaching…and you can teach very simply by following through.”
“If your child is still pining for everyday life that was in February, there’s a culture in your house that is producing that.”
“Everything we do or say is teaching.”
“If you have a shitty attitude and you don’t shake things off, you know that’s like you speaking French in the house and expecting your child to just learn English – they’re going to do what you do.”
Links:
Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 62. Going With the Workflow | 29 Sep 2022 | 00:31:54 | |
I know that we’re all struggling just to get to everything that needs to be completed each day, and given that I have a number of people wondering how I ‘get so much done’, today I will be sharing my work flow with you all. Believe me, no one knows better than me that no one can do it all, but hopefully some of the habits I have acquired and lessons I have learned over the years will resonate with you today.
I’ll share with you how not overscheduling, figuring out areas of weakness and addressing them, and becoming aware of your monthly energy flow can all have positive impacts. We’ll also explore my monthly, weekly, and daily routines, and look at the importance of rest, wise time investments, and digital uncluttering. Like I said, I know I can’t do it all, and I don’t claim to be able to, but what I can do is share with you some of the steps I take to help ensure that all the most important aspects of my life and my work are addressed as fully and effectively as possible.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
· We don’t overschedule
· Figure out your vulnerabilities and address them
· My time of greatest creative energy is the two weeks following the start of menstruation each month
· On Sundays I limit communications and totally rest
· My day off starts at 5:31 p.m. each Saturday
· On Mondays I am recharged and full of energy again
· I get up at 3:30-4:30 a.m. for a run and to start work
· I do the hard thing first each day in the dark
· I take 15-20 minute power naps to recharge
· Make wise time investments
· Digital uncluttering is key – only touch everything once
Quotes:
“Life is a four burner stove. A couple of pots are simmering, there’s always a pot that’s boiling…cleaning, definitely for me, is a simmering pot.”
“My workflow is based on my menstrual cycle.”
“The best work is done in the dark.”
“I am the Queen of the Power Nap.”
“We can’t underestimate the value of rest and how it re-charges.”
“Where can you make those better investments in time?”
“If it’s not your skillset, try to find somebody for whom it is their skillset.”
Links:
Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
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| 61. Going Down the Sibling Rivalry Rabbit Hole | 27 Sep 2022 | 00:33:17 | |
Buckle up, Alice, it’s time today for us to all go down the rabbit hole that opens up when we start to look at the wonderful world of sibling rivalry. Conversations with some of my consultant colleagues have raised this topic, which then led to a number of other related topics, so that’s where we’re headed together in this episode.
We’ll start with good old sibling rivalry, look at some strategies to help you and your children through this situation, and explore the dangers in ‘infantalizing’ our children rather than raising the expectations and challenging their little brains. Further down the rabbit hole, we’ll cover the importance of autonomy in our children, and I’ll offer a number of ideas and suggestions that will help you instill this vital trait in your kids. While it is true that sibling rivalry is simply a fact of life that we all have to deal with, today’s episode offers some valuable information and practical strategies that you can start implementing today to help prevent the regressions and poor behavior so often associated with it.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
· There is almost nothing you can do about sibling rivalry - kids are going to fight and you need to go ‘old school’ when they do - separate them, bribe them for good behavior, consequences for poor behavior
· Check in on individual and family connection, but realize that you are never going to meet everybody’s needs
· Currently, ‘infantalizing’ our kids is becoming a problem
· If you have more than one kid, employ ‘top down parenting’ - Focusing on the expectations of the oldest child raises the level of expectation for the younger children
· A lot of the sibling rivalry, regressions, and poor behavior we see in our kids is due to a lack of autonomy
· Children’s brains need challenges to grow, to keep busy figuring stuff out
· Give children ‘pockets of elevation’ so they can have pride in themselves
· Stop bemoaning the growth of your child
· Replace saying things like, “You’re such a big kid”, with “I have always loved you, but I love you more each day with all the things you’re capable of doing”
· Question every single thing you do for your kids, “Can they do this thing for themselves? Can I teach them to do this thing for themselves?”
· Make sure you are leveling up their environment
· Revisit the podcast episode about ‘Magical Childhood’ from the first season
· Don’t keep them from doing ‘real life things’ to learn
Quotes:
“Cut the shit, or I’m not moving this car.”
“Stop trying to make them love each other.”
“You are literally raising the bar…children rise to the occasion.”
“How do you expect your child to act like a big kid when you are not letting them be an actual big kid?”
“Good job for fuckin’ breathing, man!”
“Celebrate all that your kid can do.”
“Nothing in life is fair.”
“A kid who feels like they’re part of the household, who’s taking part in the household, feels pride in being part of the village.”
“As a whole, we need to start raising our expectations of what they can do and what they’re capable of…you’re going to get better behavior.”
Links:
Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/
Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Invent to Learn: https://inventtolearn.com/
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| 60. My Thoughts on Raising an Only Child and Introducing Social Media and Devices to Children | 22 Sep 2022 | 00:33:38 | |
I am always so excited to hear from you, my listeners and patrons, and today I’d like to respond to two topics that were sent in to me recently. The first surrounds the experience of raising an only child, and being a good friend to those who may be doing so not by choice. Our second topic is all about when and how to introduce social media and devices to your child.
What I can tell you is that there are a lot of opinions out there on both topics, and today I offer you mine with some references along the way to my own experiences, both personally and professionally. In terms of the social media and device concerns, as in all aspects of raising a child, I cannot stress enough that you need to know your child – your understanding of them, the bond you have together, and the level of communication you maintain will all prove critical in navigating this successfully.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
I don’t think anybody begrudges hearing about your kids and their siblings, but I wouldn’t ‘gush’ – if it’s a close friend, you can ask if it bothers them
You can point out the ‘cons’ of sibling rivalry as well
You really have to check yourself to not make everything super precious (Princess Syndrome)
Don’t try to be friends with a parent that you’re not really ‘vibing’ with
The timing and manner of introducing social media and devices varies depending upon the child – you really need to know your kid
Ages 0-6 is Govern, 6-12 is Garden, and 12-18 is Guide
In the ‘tween’ years, girls seem to be more susceptible to societal pressure
Having a phone may be a necessity for your child
Snapchat, to me, is one of the nastier platforms
I think our kids are suffering from being over monitored, and are entitled to some privacy
You have to have huge conversations with your child about what it means to be behind a name on social media
We have to create that culture where we communicate with other parents for everyone’s safety
Use common sense without being crazy
Temper your own anxiety
Quotes:
“I think when you have two parents and one kid there’s a ‘preciousness’ that comes about, right, just naturally.”
“Nobody wants to talk about having babies on the first or second date.”
“I enjoy raising an only child.”
“It’s really hard in this day and age to not have a phone.”
“We need to trust our kids until they’re not trustworthy, and then we pull in the reins. That is my personal belief.”
“Don’t look for somebody to direct you on this. Connect with your kids and be honest – try to see your kid through a lens, try to see what they are drawn to.”
“It’s really about your bond and your connection with your kid, and keeping these communication channels open.”
Links:
Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/
Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
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| 59. The Sleep Episode (First of Many) | 20 Sep 2022 | 00:26:10 | |
One topic which has been showing up frequently in the messages I’m getting from parents is a big one: sleep. In particular, I have about 5 clients who are asking about naps these days, so today we’re going to revisit this highly important subject, and provide information and advice that should answer a lot of your questions. We’ll begin by looking at the typical ages when children start giving up their naps, and the importance of maintaining a quiet time for all children. I’ll offer some valuable tips surrounding these quiet times, some advice about establishing sleep time habits, and a recommendation for finding help if you are suffering in this area. The main theme here today is that sleep is vital to both your children and yourself, and finding a system that works for you and your entire family needs to be a priority. This week’s episode is filled with the information and advice that will help you do this.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
Quotes: “My son napped right up until his first day of Kindergarten.” “You cannot make your child sleep, nor can you actually make your child stay in bed.” “Sleep is everything, you guys…we all need it so much.” “I know sleep training is super controversial.” “Sleep deprivation is used as torture in war.” “There’s nothing better you can do for yourself than sleep, so really set a good bedtime, and commit to being off screen.”
Links: Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler - Jamie’s Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki? | |||
| 58. Effective Communication: Askers, Guessers, and Boundaries | 15 Sep 2022 | 00:38:13 | |
Today’s episode is going to be a doozy as I talk to you once again about one of my absolute favorite topics – boundaries. This time, I’m adding in the component of effective communication as well and the impact it has on boundaries, so buckle up!
I start by reviewing my well known love of boundaries, and then explain nonviolent communication and the impact that our caregivers’ responses to our needs as children have upon our ability to communicate needs and set boundaries later on in life. We’ll also explore family culture, codependency, and emotionally clean transactions through a fascinating analysis of ‘Ask Culture vs. Guess Culture’ which I have recently discovered. As you will hear, this topic is extremely important to me, not just professionally, but personally as well, and that is precisely why I am so very passionate about this episode. Join me today, and let’s learn together more about ourselves, and how we can enhance all of our relationships with effective communication.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
Having boundaries and knowing when to keep them strong and when to bend them is everything
Nonviolent communication is a way to get your needs met through effective communication
How our caregivers responded to our needs has everything to do with how we communicate our needs and how we set boundaries, and when our caregivers respond poorly to our emotional needs, we grow up with horrible boundaries
Your family culture determines how good or bad you are at boundaries
Making people guess at what you’re thinking or feeling is not a style of communication, it’s a dysfunction in your family culture
Guessers think that somehow they’re responsible for your feelings
Nobody is so clairvoyant that they can tell what a person is thinking or feeling at all times
Healthy askers accept ‘No’ for an answer
We re drawn to people that make us have to work through our shit
In a emotionally clean transaction, you don’t have to explain yourself
Codependency is defined by investing a lot of time and energy in making sure the other person is not hurt, upset, or disappointed
If anybody ever tells you, ‘See what you made me do? You made me…’, that’s a dysfunction and needs to be addressed.
Quotes:
“I think boundaries are the secret sauce to life.”
“Communication, communing, communion with other human beings in an effective way that gets both our needs met is the closest thing I know to holy – it’s amazing.”
“If you’re a guesser, you’re expecting me to read your mind.”
“My family would turn on me…I was kicked out of the tribe. That’s a really powerful
motivator to not speak your truth.”
“It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.”
“Finding the need, I think, is the crux of all of this.”
Links:
Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/
Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Nonviolent Communication audiobook: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00TKMBJKE/
Ask Culture vs. Guess Culture Facebook link: https://www.facebook.com/MKEManKindProjectOpenMensGroup/posts/ask-culture-vs-guess-culture-were-you-able-to-ask-for-what-you-wanted-or-did-you/3105247169499428/
‘The Invitation’ link: http://www.oriahmountaindreamer.com/
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| 57. Rhythm, Routine, Rituals, and Anxiety | 13 Sep 2022 | 00:45:58 | |
With all the talk these days of reopening society, I want to take this opportunity to speak with you about not only the anxiety which our children are experiencing during the ‘lockdown’ – and, believe me, they are feeling anxious – but also the anxiety that will be generated through the reopening process itself. Rhythm, routines, and rituals all have a part to play in this process, and I’m here to help support you and your children through it all.
In today’s episode we look at exactly what we mean by rhythm, routine, and rituals, and acknowledge that both during the pandemic and after, rhythms are going to change. We look at behaviors and how to evaluate and work with them, determine when anxiety becomes ‘not normal’, and face up to the reality of the generational trauma our children are experiencing these days. I will also offer you some suggestions for finding your new rhythms and helping ease your children through the transition of ‘reopening society’. While there is undoubtedly going to be a lot of ‘mental health cleanup’ in the wake of our current circumstances, today’s episode is all about what can be done now to help ensure our children know that they are safe and they are loved and that we are here to provide all the emotional and physical swaddling they need.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
We are all finding a new rhythm during this pandemic
The change in rhythm is generating anxiety in our children
You need to determine if a behavior is new or if it’s an ‘amped up’ version of an existing behavior
Don’t be crushed by demonstrations of kids clinging to one parent and rejecting the other and don’t give in to it
What’s good for our children is a firm, strong voice and actions that say, ‘You don’t have to worry about this’
Everything you choose now is going to be a habit
When anxiety interrupts or affects your quality of life, it has slipped into ‘not normal’ and you should seek out help
This pandemic is creating ‘generational trauma’
The first few outings during the ‘reopening of society’ transition is where you will want to note anxiety in your child, lean in, and help ease them through it
The biggest thing will be finding a new rhythm once again
Creating an emotional tether with your child will help during transitions
Quotes:
“Our little ones thrive on non-verbal communication…they 100% know that something’s going on…and so there’s anxiety.”
“Any shitty behavior your kid had is going to be amped up.”
“Huge right now is a ‘mommy clinginess’.”
“If they’re given control, they’re going to run with it in the wrong direction.”
“Your average 3-year-old is on par with your average dog brain-wise.”
“Hey, do you need some love right now? Because it’s looking like you need some love.”
“When anxiety hits, every kid just needs physical contact to know they are loved and safe. They need emotional swaddling, but they need physical swaddling too.”
Links:
Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/
Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 182: Make Timed Warnings Work | 23 May 2024 | 00:04:32 | |
Today's a short one from the archives! We're diving into the tricky world of timed warnings for kids. Ever told your little one, "We're leaving in 30 minutes," only to be met with resistance or outright dismissal? You're not alone! In this episode, I break down why these warnings can backfire and how to use them effectively. We'll talk about setting realistic expectations, using timers, and giving kids concrete activities to mark the end of playtime. Tune in to learn how to keep your transitions smooth and tantrum-free! Jamie's Instagram Oh Crap! Cafe Parenting Community | |||
| 56. Modeling Good Attachment | 01 Sep 2022 | 00:41:59 | |
Knowing that our kids are influenced by our behavior and the examples we set can be a lot of pressure. Parents can feel like they have to be perfect all the time, especially with emotional issues like attachment and apologies, in case they negatively affect their child’s development. In today’s episode, I talk about how perfection isn’t the goal and offer some advice on how to stop worrying and learn to maintain your connection with your kids.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
A mother wrote to me about attachment styles, wondering if her child could have a different style to hers and her husband’s. Attachment styles are a concept used in psychology to describe how you relate to the people in your life, and relationships between people with different styles can go really wonky (I had a situation like this with a friend that I talked about in some podcast eps back in 2020).
There are lots of different attachment styles, including: secure—you can trust fairly easily, are attuned to emotions, can communicate upsets directly, and lead with cooperative and flexible behavior; anxious—you struggle to communicate needs directly and act out when triggered; avoidant-dismissive—you downplay the importance of relationships and can become more vulnerable when triggered; and avoidant-fearful—you have low self-esteem and high anxiety and strongly fear rejection.
We may all exhibit symptoms of all these styles, and most people need to work to get to a secure attachment style. What may go wrong in couples is when one person has done that work, and the other hasn’t, which means they still present with symptoms of the other styles.
With kids, parents may overcompensate for their attachment issues in hopes of creating a child who feels secure in their attachments, often especially in parents who did their own work to get to a secure attachment style and want to make sure their kid has that from the start.
The important thing when trying to cultivate a secure attachment for your toddler is to find a balance of freedom and support. This becomes tricky because we have a sincere desire to let our kids know that we’re there for them, but it can manifest as hovering and rescuing, creating dependence and entitlement instead of secure attachment.
The biggest thing you can do to ensure that your child grows up with a secure attachment style is to do your work. If you don’t, you’ll either model one of the other styles or overcompensate, and then you’ll be trying to layer a secure attachment into an existing paradigm, which is just going to fuck up the kid.
Even in secure relationships, fights will happen—connection ruptures happen all the time, so the idea isn’t to have a steady connection with your child that is never ruptured. Instead, what has to be second nature is how you repair the connection—which is easy because kids, in general, are so forgiving.
Using the terms “connected” and “disconnected” is really valuable for families and all relationships. It’s a healthy way to express your needs and repair connection ruptures instead of slipping into passive-aggressiveness.
I hear from a lot of clients whose kids just endlessly want to play with their parents because they’re not getting enough connection. It’s really important to hit those connection points with your kids when they know they’ve got your full attention at some point during the day (especially with COVID when we’re not getting a lot of physical contact with other people).
Links:
Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Jamie’s Instagram Page: @jamie.glowacki
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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| 55. Having It All and Covering Your Back with Zoi Jones | 18 Aug 2022 | 00:36:57 | |
My guest on this week’s episode is Zoi Jones, an old client and now a friend, who’s here with some wonderful stories about how she handles being an entrepreneur, a businesswoman, and a mom all at the same time. I also wanted to have Zoi on because she’s a personal injury lawyer, and she’s going to give us some tips about what to do if you have an auto accident and need help.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
Zoi’s wanted to be an attorney since she was five years old, growing up with an attorney dad and her mom running the family law firm. When she was just about to start law school, people started telling her that she’d have to choose between being a lawyer and having a family—something that surprised her since both her parents were very hands-on despite being involved in the law business.
Zoi still feels pulled in all different directions but knows that it’s impossible to do everything herself and has worked hard to maintain a balance and create non-negotiables for career and family time.
It took a lot of trial and error for Zoi to figure out her non-negotiables, as well as coming to terms with asking for help when she needed it. Her moment of revelation came when her sister saw her struggling with her third pregnancy, two kids, and a heavy workload and suggested hiring a nanny. Zoi was uncomfortable with it at first, even working from home to keep an eye on what was happening, but eventually gave herself permission to accept that help.
The best thing I ever did for my business was hiring a bookkeeper because it let me focus on doing the things I’m good at—podcasts and Instagram videos and working with clients—and avoid the things that are my idea of hell—spreadsheets and numbers. You can do this at home, too—hire someone to come in and do your laundry or play with your kids so you can get your tasks done.
Zoi points out that home help can be really useful in helping you to transition from work mode to home mode—the twenty minutes she gets to herself when her nanny picks her kids up from school lets her take her lawyer hat off and put her mom hat on and really be excited for her kids to come home.
Zoi also gets up about twenty minutes before her kids to get that little bit of me-time by doing some quick meditation. Sometimes her son gets up a little earlier and sits with her until she’s done, which works as modeling meditation for him.
Mindfulness is such a buzzword right now, but it’s largely empty because parents don’t model it but instead run around like headless chickens. In order to model effectively, you have to be consistent and put in the work yourself.
Zoi has made a goal for herself to educate families to have the proper insurance for themselves so they can feel more confident on the roads in case they’re ever involved in an accident.
Zoi says that the top things to do if you’re in an auto accident are: call the police regardless of how bad the accident is, take photos (of the vehicles, the other driver’s license, and their insurance info), and go to the doctor even if you think you’re okay (to stop your insurance company from questioning your injuries if they flare up later).
The other important thing is to hire an attorney to be in your corner and take care of you because insurance companies are in the business of making money, and they will take advantage instead of getting you the best result.
Links:
Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Jamie’s Instagram Page: @jamie.glowacki
Gonzalez and Jones Attorneys at Law
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| 54. First Phone, Hard Conversations, Sex Talk | 04 Aug 2022 | 00:41:39 | |
On last week’s episode, I brought up the topic of kids having access to the internet and porn. It might seem like a far-fetched idea for a podcast about toddlers, but these issues come up a lot sooner than you think. Today I’ll discuss how to introduce these concepts to your children slowly and gently, without overwhelming them with more information than they’re ready for. This episode is all about planting the seeds early for blossoming conversations.
The internet, texting, and social media have ushered in a new era of parenting, but having an open dialogue with your kids from an early age will encourage them to come to you with their problems later on, and develop the valuable skills they’ll need to be able to tackle tricky situations by themselves as well.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
Phone use is a tough topic that will come up sooner than you think, and it will lead to other issues such as access to the internet
You can start having miniature conversations now to help develop the skills they’ll need when they enter the tween years and their peers are using phones or internet
The idea that someone would wait until their child is 11 or 12 to have “The Talk” with their kids is astounding to me - there is way too much information to cover all at once
The mechanics of sex are the easiest part of this conversation
Feelings, hormones, masturbation, and the pleasure aspect are much harder to discuss, but very important
You don’t need to wait until they start asking you questions, but look out for signs that you’re giving more information than they need
If you’re approaching this as one single conversation in your “teacher voice,” your kid will not listen to you - these conversations should happen on the fly, often in the car
When you keep it casual, the information just becomes information - it’s not loaded
Use anatomically correct body terms, but also teach them slang so that they understand what other people might call them
Arming kids with the right information will help in matters of sexual consent later on
Have a book with labels to refer to when you talk about sex and puberty
How I introduced the idea of masturbation in my own parenting experience
Your child will probably get their first phone around 10 or 11
Prepare your child and let them know what to expect during puberty
Having an open dialogue will encourage your kids to come to you later when they experience a sticky situation
Why you may need to track your child’s phone as they get older
There’s a fine balance between giving your kids privacy and room to make mistakes, but also making sure they’re safe
Kids need to be able to make their own mistakes - this helps them develop valuable skills and problem solving as young adults
Links:
Jamie’s Homepage - www.jamieglowacki.com
Oh Crap! Potty Training – https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU
Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler -
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738
Jamie’s Patreon Page: www.patreon.com/join/jamieglowacki?
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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