Nope! We're Not Monogamous – Détails, épisodes et analyse

Have you ever felt that knot in your stomach when your partner laughs a little too hard with someone new? Or that tightness in your chest when they're excited about a fresh connection? Jealousy can be an unwelcome guest in our emotional landscape, especially in non-monogamous relationships. But what if I told you that this intense feeling isn't your enemy, but potentially one of your most powerful allies?

In this episode, I'm sharing a perspective that completely changed my approach to jealousy. We're looking deep into why jealousy feels so primal, what it's really trying to tell us, and how we can transform it from a source of pain into a tool for growth and deeper connection.

Key Insights:

• Understanding the evolutionary roots of jealousy and why it feels so intense
• Decoding the three core messages jealousy typically carries
• Practical strategies for working with jealousy instead of against it
• How to communicate about jealousy without creating conflict
• Transforming jealousy into an opportunity for personal growth and stronger relationships

Learn how to recognize jealousy as a signal from your nervous system, and discover a three-step process to turn that gut-wrenching feeling into a powerful tool for growth. We'll discuss the importance of curiosity, self-reflection, and open communication in navigating these intense emotions.

"Jealousy isn't about being irrational or dramatic. It shows up because it touches on things that matter to us really, really deeply. Our sense of love, connection, belonging, trust, and safety."

Send us a text

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

Are you tired of jealousy hijacking your relationships? Imagine stepping into 2025 with the power to transform those uncomfortable feelings into opportunities for growth and deeper connection. In this episode, I'm sharing three powerful tools to help you navigate jealousy in non-monogamous relationships with confidence and grace.

What You'll Discover:

• How to identify jealousy in your body before it spirals in your mind
• The art of uncovering hidden triggers that fuel jealous thoughts
• A game-changing approach to reframing jealousy as a helpful signal

Key Insights:

• Why suppressing jealousy only makes it stronger
• The surprising connection between curiosity and relationship growth
• Real-life examples of transforming jealousy into deeper intimacy

Whether you're new to non-monogamy or an old pro, this episode offers practical strategies to help you create lighter, more loving relationships. Learn how to turn jealousy from your enemy into your ally on the path to personal growth.

As a relationship coach with over a decade of experience in non-monogamy, I bring both personal insights and professional expertise to help you navigate the complexities of open relationships. My approach combines practical tools with deep emotional work to foster genuine connection and personal growth.

Ready to make 2025 the year you finally break free from jealousy's grip? Tune in now and take the first step towards more fulfilling, confident non-monogamous relationships.

Get on the waitlist for Beyond Jealousy today. www.elleciapaine.com/jealousy

Send us a text

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

Imagine a game that sparks deep conversations, fosters understanding, and strengthens your relationships. That's exactly what the brilliant minds behind The Non Monogamy Card Game have created. This innovative tool is designed to help you explore the complexities of ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, and open relationships in a fun and approachable way.

In this episode, I sit down with Ayala & Kristen, the creators of this game-changing resource. As professional psychotherapists from Northern California, they've poured their expertise into crafting 150 thought-provoking questions that encourage players to explore their values, desires, and needs within non-monogamous relationships.

Discover how the Non Monogamy Card Game can help you:

• Initiate difficult conversations with ease and curiosity
• Explore your personal values and how they align with non-monogamous relationships
• Create living agreements that evolve with your relationships
• Foster deeper understanding between partners and within polycules
• Navigate the complexities of non-monogamy with more confidence and clarity

Join us for this eye-opening chat and learn how a simple deck of cards can open up a world of possibilities for your relationships. Whether you're looking to enhance your current non-monogamous partnerships or curious about exploring new relationship structures, this episode offers practical guidance and actionable steps.

Get the game www.thenonmonogamycardgame.com

Send us a text

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

In this eye-opening episode, I sit down with the incomparable Susan Bratton, a true pioneer in sexual wellness and non-monogamy. With decades of experience under her belt, Susan shares her wealth of knowledge on everything from STI testing to hormone replacement therapy, offering insights that could revolutionize your sex life.

Susan's candid approach to discussing her personal journey, including her current throuple arrangement and experiences with over a thousand threesomes, creates a safe space for exploring the intricacies of non-monogamous relationships. Her expertise in sexual techniques, communication skills, and intimate health paints a comprehensive picture of what it takes to cultivate a fulfilling sex life at any age.

Key Insights:

• The importance of understanding female arousal and desire
• Strategies for maintaining sexual health and pleasure as we age
• The lowdown on STI testing and safe sex practices in non-monogamous relationships
• How to navigate the emotional aspects of disclosing STI status
• The potential benefits and risks of new sexual health technologies and treatments

Susan's Top Tips for Better Sex:

1. Embrace "non-negotiables" in the bedroom
2. Prioritize relaxation for better arousal
3. Explore regenerative therapies for sexual health
4. Communicate openly about STI status and testing
5. Continuously educate yourself on sexual wellness

16:30 https://arousalsecret.com/

21:45 https://orgasmiccrosstraining.com/

29:30 https://personallifemedia.com/pump-guide/

33:58 https://www.glownaturalwellness.com/products/glow-below

38:30 http://pleasureprotocol.com/

47:49 fullpaneltest.com

https://gainswave.com/susan/

https://betterlover.com/

Send us a text

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

Let’s explore the complexities of living in polyamorous relationships with relationship coach Laura Boyle, author of Monogamy? In this Economy?Finances, Childrearing, and Other Practical Concerns of Polyamory. We discuss the challenges and triumphs of shared living, finances, and parenting in multi-partner households.

From cohabitation logistics and financial planning to co-parenting strategies and managing breakups, Laura offers practical advice and candid insights. We also dig into the social stigmas and legal challenges faced by polyamorous families.

Discover how real people are navigating the intricacies of polyamory and creating fulfilling lives with multiple partners.

Laura Boyle is a relationship coach, educator, and the voice behind the blog at readyforpolyamory.com and the accompanying podcast. She has been an expert voice on the topics of polyamory and parenting for the Boston Globe, the Economist, Parents Magazine, and Cosmopolitan, as well as being polyamorous herself for nearly 20 years. Her coaching practice is largely focused on helping non-monogamous folks through major life transitions, and she's based in New Haven, CT.

Send us a text

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

This episode gives you a peek into the remarkable journey of Jamie Love, from a conservative religious background to leading a thriving, international sex-positive community, Sex Positive World. You'll hear how Jamie fosters spaces where people can explore intimacy and sexuality openly and shame-free.

Key Discussion Points:

• The Power of Consent in Everyday Life: We explore the power of small consent practices like cuddle parties and massage nights for fostering healthy connections and healing pleasure disconnects.
• Creating Safe Spaces for Exploration: Discover how Sex Positive World's legendary Hawaiian retreats create environments where people feel truly safe, seen, and free to reach new depths of pleasure and connection.
• Building Healthy Relationships: We delve into Sex Positive World's orientation classes, where participants practice setting boundaries, saying no, and having those crucial (but sometimes awkward) conversations. Learn how Jamie emphasizes real transformation through supportive community.
• Exploring Non-Monogamy: Whether you're curious about ethical non-monogamy or simply looking for a supportive community, this episode is for you!

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

• The benefits of joining sex-positive communities.
• How to ethically explore non-monogamy.
• Tips for hosting inclusive massage parties.
• Strategies for building a culture of consent in your relationships.
• About the Polytopia Conference    (where I’ll be a guest speaker)  https://www.sexpositiveportland.org/events/9504 

Meet Our Guest: Jamie Love

Jamie Love is the Executive Director of Sex Positive World (https://www.sexpositiveworld.org/), a global organization dedicated to spreading inclusive radical sex positivity and empowering individuals to build their own sex-positive communities. A self-identified ethical slut and non-monogamous person, Jamie teaches workshops ranging from relationship discussions to cuddle parties, massage-a-trois, and self-pleasure circles.

Send us a text

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

Intrigued by polyamory but unsure how it translates to long-term relationships? Especially as we age?

Today, we're venturing into the world of thriving polyamory in your golden years. Joining us is the amazing Kathy Labriola, a therapist, nurse, and author who's been living the poly life for 50 years! Kathy is author of four books on consensual nonmonogamy: Love in Abundance: A Counselor's Advice on Open Relationships, One of my fav's , The Jealousy Workbook, The Polyamory Break-up Book: Causes, Survival.

Kathy's new book, "Polyamorous Elders," tackles the unique joys and challenges of navigating polyamory as we mature. We'll be diving deep into communication, legal considerations, and even keeping your sex life sizzling!

Whether you're a seasoned polyamorist or curious newcomer, this episode offers invaluable insights for building strong, fulfilling connections as you age.

Get ready to learn about:

The surprising benefits of polyamory for older adults.

Essential communication tools to avoid misunderstandings.

Strategies for navigating jealousy in poly relationships.

Planning for your future, legally and financially.

And fostering new forms of intimacy as your life changes.

Ready to explore the vibrant world of polyamory at any age? Buckle up and join our conversation with Kathy Labriola!

For more from Kathy, visit her website at

www.kathylabriola.com

Let's get started!

Send us a text

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

Let's be real: navigating ethical non-monogamy (ENM) can be thrilling, confusing, and sometimes downright messy. But no worries! We've got power couple Sasha and Moritz on deck to spill the tea on building a strong ENM connection.

With refreshing candor, they peel back the layers on cultivating extraordinary intimacy. You'll discover practical strategies for courageously expressing desires, setting boundaries, and managing the inevitable ups and downs with grace. Their approach transcends relationship structures, providing a roadmap for deeper vulnerability and growth within yourself and your connections.

Here are just a few of the invaluable gems you'll gain:

• Powerful communication techniques to foster trust and understanding
• Mindset shifts to take full responsibility for your emotions
• Reframing jealousy as a gateway to intimacy instead of a roadblock
• Using sex as a sacred practice to accelerate personal evolution
• Staying true to your authentic self amidst societal pressures

And don't forget to check out Sasha and Moritz's website, Kerkmann Hood Coaching https://www.kerkmannhoodcoaching.com/ to learn more about their work and explore the world of passionate, non-monogamous relationships.

Send us a text

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

First dates in the non-monogamous world? We've got you covered!

Join Ellecia and Danny for a hilarious and informative exploration of navigating this unique dating scene. From conversation starters (forget the weather!) to open communication, this episode equips you with the tools to feel confident and empowered.

What to expect:

• Break the ice with questions that spark real connections: Learn how to ask engaging questions about someone's journey into non-monogamy and their existing relationships.
• Ditch the "what do you do?" routine: Learn thought-provoking questions that spark genuine connection and go beyond the surface.
• Our not-so-perfect dating moments (Waterworld, anyone?): Laugh along as Ellecia and Danny share their personal dating mishaps, proving you're not alone in the awkwardness.
• Rejection stinks, but you won't: How to handle the inevitable "no" with grace and bounce back stronger.
• Boundaries & Polycule Talk: Tips for navigating important topics without the awkwardness.
• Laugh-out-loud stories: Ellecia and Danny share relatable anecdotes that will leave you nodding along (and maybe snorting a little).

This episode is your one-stop shop for making non-monogamous dating fun, fulfilling, and full of laughter.

Want More?

Want to become a master of navigating conversations about ethical non-monogamy? Download your free copy of my ebook, Let's Talk About It: Your Guide to Ethically Non-monogamous Conversations! This comprehensive guide provides even more in-depth strategies, conversation prompts, and practical tips to ensure your non-monogamous relationships thrive.

Send us a text

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237

Imagine growing up in a world where love had strict rules, only to break free and discover endless possibilities. This is the story of Dan and Jennie, a married couple who defied societal norms to embrace ethical non-monogamy.

For over 30 years, Dan and Jennie have navigated the challenges of leaving behind their conservative religious roots and exploring swinging and polyamory. In this honest and heartfelt conversation, Dan shares their journey, from dealing with shame and judgment to tackling the emotional rollercoaster of jealousy and breakups. His insights give us a rare look into the highs and lows of living life on their own terms.

Here’s what you can expect from this inspiring episode:

• Letting Go of Old Beliefs: Discover strategies for shedding outdated beliefs and building real connections.
• Effective Communication and Boundaries: Learn how to communicate better and set healthy boundaries in non-monogamous relationships.
• Managing Triggers and Embracing Vulnerability: Get practical tips for handling emotional triggers, embracing vulnerability, and focusing on personal growth.
• Redefining Love and Sexuality: Gain a fresh perspective on love, sexuality, and the freedom to design relationships that reflect your true values.

With honesty and hard-earned wisdom, Dan dives into the transformative power of confronting personal traumas, embracing all parts of oneself, and living authentically. Whether you’re experienced in non-monogamy or just curious about different relationship structures, this episode is a must-listen. It’s a powerful reminder that love has no limits.

Join me, Ellecia, and Dan on this eye-opening journey, and find the courage to create a life that’s full, passionate, and true to yourself.

Want to connect with Dan?  email watersedgeceremonies@gmail.com

Send us a text

https://elleciapaine.com/call

Support the show

📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter

❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous

👀 Find Us Online
🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com
📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/

Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
STIM IPI: 572 393 237