Safia told us all about her company The Mum Hub which she founded in Lockdown, her family and what else she has done and is doing in her career. We also discussed: 

• Time management for parents and the common things parents experience for example feeling they are having to be in too many places at once! 
• Having a to do list / a priority list and putting things on paper. E.g. what are the top 3 things that I have to focus on?  
• Planning and not feeling like you have to ‘do it all’.  Lowering expectations of yourself. 
• Walking pads! 
• Some techniques / tools to help manage time as well as setting boundaries - how available you make yourself / the ways you can be contacted. 
• How often it isn’t as bad as you thought it might be – having some perspective.  
• Teaching our children about how to manage their time and the myriad of notifications that are thrown at them on a daily basis.  
• Things we can do to help organise (and how it’s important to be able to trust others with tasks and preparation to help spread the load!). 
• Carving out time for yourself – how important it is, but how it can also lead to guilt. 
• Safia’s tips for how to cope when you are feeling overwhelmed. 

The Mum Hub website 

Instagram @bespokefamily / @the_mumhub 

Facebook @bespokefamily 

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more)  

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative 

In the week leading of Halloween you might find that your little ones are feeling more scared than usual. But regardless of this, children can be scared of lots of things and this is the subject of this episode!

We chatted about:

• Halloween and how we never really ‘did’ Halloween when we were little and how much it has ramped up in recent years. 
• What we were scared of when we were little (well mainly Becks!). 
• How every child is individual in terms of what they are / aren’t scared of – some children will LOVE being scared by example.  
• How to respond / react to a little one who is scared of something, the kind of things children can be scared of and why it might be. 
• Being scared of dying. 
• How feeling fear is a natural emotion and how we need it. 
• How to help children regulate when they are feeling scared.  
• Some techniques to help children when they feel scared.  
• Halloween and being scared! 

 Related blogs: 

 “I’m scared!” – 10 tips to help your toddler or pre-schooler with their fears 

My child is afraid of the dark 

Instagram @bespokefamily  

Facebook @bespokefamily 

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more)  

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative 

Rebecca started her business when her children were quite young (the youngest was starting school) and she wanted to ‘find her thing’. 

We chatted about: 

• Rebecca's background – she set up an outsourcing agency ‘Get Ahead’ in 2010 working with companies to provide Virtual Assistants (VAs).  
• Having an open mind and a confidence to see where things go and how setting up a business feels like nurturing another child! 
• Balancing having a family and young children when setting up a business and how Rebecca managed it. 
• The challenges Rebecca faced along the way, how she tackled them and the impact this has had on the children and how they have developed. 
• How Rebecca transfers what she did when setting up her business to the VAs (who Rebecca calls ‘Virtual Experts’) working in the business empowering them to also work around their families. 
• Lockdown and how nothing really changed for Rebecca during that time (except for having the children at home!) and how the authenticity of working from home has been made so much easier since then. 
• Work / life balance and whether there is such a thing for people running their own business. 
• The joy of WhatsApp!! 
• Empty Nesting, the children in your life and how that feels for Rebecca and other business owners. 
• Rebecca’s proud moments and 3 tips for parents setting up their own business! 
•  

Get Ahead VA (Rebecca’s company) - https://getaheadva.com/ 

Get Ahead VA on Instagram - getaheadva 

Instagram - @bespokefamily / Facebook - @bespokefamily  

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more)  

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative 

Cate is a Senior Associate at Kingsley Napley and spoke to us about what’s involved when parents divorce.  

We covered: 

• The 3 strands to a divorce – the divorce itself, the finances, the children. 
• No fault divorce and what it is / what it means. 
• What happens when courts get involved in terms of making an order about how the children spend their time between parents and whether there is any flexibility. 
• Particular patterns of how to share the care of children that Cate would recommend to parents. 
• How long the divorce process can take particularly when children are involved. 
• Mediation and how that works as part of the process. 
• What happens if you aren’t married and have children but want to separate.  
• Whether there is such a thing as common law marriage in the UK. 
• Child maintenance, what it is and how it is calculated (link below). 
• Cate’s tips for communicating your breakup with your child/ren and managing the relationship going forward.  
• Cate’s tips for trying to avoid an acrimonious divorce including making sure you have lots of people and systems around to support you both. 
• Having goals in place for the future with your children and the importance of communicating these to your lawyer.  
• Pre-nups / post-nups – the law around these and how they work. 

Instagram - @bespokefamily / Facebook - @bespokefamily  

Kingsley Napley Family Law - https://www.kingsleynapley.co.uk/insights/blogs/family-law-blog 

About Cate - https://www.kingsleynapley.co.uk/our-people/cate-maguire 

Child maintenance calculator - https://www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance 

One of the Apps Cate recommends – Our Family Wizard   

Our co-parenting blog - https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/blog/coparenting 

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more) - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’     

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative 

Laura was born and raised in Southern California and has been in London since 2021.  She is the daughter of an Occupational Therapist (OT) and now runs a private practice – Kid Kind Collective and works with children as a Paediatric OT. 

We spoke about: 

• What an OT actually does (Becks had no idea!) and why they do what they do in terms of outcomes for the children. 
• How OTs help people be adaptive with how they get to the end goal. 
• All about sensory processing – what this means and how an OT can help as a ‘sensory detective’ and getting the whole family involved with this.  
• How an OT can help when children just can’t sit still (more detective work!) 
• How you can get your child referred to an OT and what happens at their first appointment (often work can start before an ADHD or Autism diagnosis for example). 
• The link with emotional regulation and how the work that an OT does to support children can impact on this. 
• Laura’s top 3 things that she loves about being an OT. 
• What Laura’s childhood was like as the daughter of an OT and what she learnt. 

Instagram - @bespokefamily / Facebook - @bespokefamily  

Laura’s website:  https://www.kid-kind.com/ 

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more) - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’     

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative 

This is a topic close to Becks’s heart as she starts to prepare for both of her children leaving home for university. One of Becks’s friends asked us to record this episode – so here you are! 

We spoke about: 

• How it’s a different milestone to going to childcare / school for the first time. 
• The social media phenomenon of making the most of ‘18 summers with your children’...what we think! 
• The feelings and emotions that you have and the stages that you go through when your child/ren leave home. 
• How Claire felt sad for her parents when she left home for college and how it’s important to think about how you manage the situation as a parent. 
• Preparing for the empty nest and the importance of planning for you; what can you do that you have always wanted to?  
• Teaching your child/ren life skills and how key this is to prepare them! 
• How they will still need you (and the fact that they might come back..!!!!!)! 

Instagram - @bespokefamily / Facebook - @bespokefamily  

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

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This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative 

Please note that Meriel was a surrogate in the US and rules in each country are very different – to find out more about surrogacy rules in the UK you can find them here and more information on surrogacy in the UK here. 

Meriel is a three times surrogate from the United States. She was blessed to help two families achieve the dream of completing their families through surrogacy. She currently works for an agency as a surrogacy journey coordinator, where she is passionate about helping to create families and supporting other women who wish to embark on the amazing and fulfilling journey of becoming surrogates.  

We spoke to Meriel about: 

• What made her decide to become a surrogate and how her family and others reacted (including some funny stories!). 
• What surrogacy is, who might use a surrogate and why that might be. 
• Some terminology and the process for both the family and the surrogate. 
• The contact that the surrogate has with the family throughout the pregnancy and beyond. 
• The labour experience and who shared the labour room with Meriel when she had the babies and how special she tried to make it for everyone involved. 
• What being a surrogate means to Meriel, the joy she took from it and how it has shaped her and her life as it is now as a surrogacy journey coordinator. 
• Some of the rules around surrogacy and being a surrogate as well as the support that there is for surrogates. 
• Keeping in touch with the families after the birth of their baby and whether that happens. 
• Who is on the birth certificate and legalities (spoiler it can be quite complicated – especially in the US!). 
• How research into the best surrogacy path is SO vital! 

https://www.collectivesurrogacy.com/ - the agency where Meriel works and where you can find her blogs 

Meriel on LinkedIn 

Read our blog where we talked to Simon Berney Edwards about his experience of surrogacy here. 

Instagram - @bespokefamily / Facebook - @bespokefamily  

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more) - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’     

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative 

We spoke to Hayley and Becky from Paths to Parent Hub. We first came across Paths to Parent Hub when we listened to their podcast following a recommendation from a friend. 

We started with Hayley and Becky sharing their own stories with us. Hayley is a donor conceived person herself and is also a parent of twins through sperm donation. Becky was diagnosed with early menopause at 28 – she and her husband did 5 rounds of IVF and then decided to use an egg donor to have her 3 children. Both Hayley and Becky shared their stories on the internet and found each other there. 

Becky created Paths to Parent Hub (a membership platform) during lockdown to support people in similar situations to themselves and it now has over 1000 members. 

We also talked about: 

• When and how Hayley found out that she was a donor conceived person and the reasons she talks about her story now. 
• Talking with donor conceived children about how they came to be and dealing with their questions, and those from family and friends. 
• The laws around donor conception and the parallels with adoption. 
•  The experience that Becky had abroad in finding an egg donor and how she feels now about having chosen to have an anonymous donor.  
• Whether there is a limit on how many families one donor can produce and how this differs around the world. 
• The reasons someone might want / need to use a donor.  
• Hayley’s experience when finding her parent sperm donor. 
• Terminology around donor conception.  
• The information you get about a donor when choosing and how the matching works. 
• What Hayley and Becky would say to people considering donor conception. 
• About Paths to Parent Hub and the support, information and connection opportunities. 

Instagram - @bespokefamily / Facebook - @bespokefamily / @pathstoparenthub / @definingmum  @dcp_journey_2_rp 

Paths to Parent Hub website 

All things donor conception  - Hayley’s website 

Paths to Parent Hub podcast 

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more) - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’     

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative 

Lee is Becks’s ‘Boxing trainer’ - (well kind of 😉!) and a personal trainer (to real boxers!). He is also a stay-at-home dad looking after his little girl Beaux which started when she was 3 months old. 

We talked to Lee about: 

• As a couple how Lee and his wife came to the decision that Lee would be the main carer and how he felt about it. 
• The reaction from friends and family to Lee staying at home with his little one. 
• How he and his wife prepared for parenthood (reading blogs, books, listening to podcasts (ours) and talking to other parents) and how important routine and consistency was for them. 
• The importance of working together as a team, communicating about next steps and what might need to be changed etc. 
• How Lee fills his weeks with Beaux doing groups, dancing, swimming, crafts and play. Fitting in at baby and toddler groups and what it feels like to often be the only dad there.  
• How Lee feels really lucky to be able to spend this amount of time with his daughter. 
• Being an only child – the worries Lee has about Beaux being one (Claire is one too so no need to worry 😉). 
• Dads and daughters and the wonderful bond they can have! 
• What Lee would say to other stay at home / solo dads. 

Read our blogs about dads and supporting dads here -

https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/blog/gettingtoknowmarkwilliams?rq=dad

https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/blog/supportingdads?rq=dad 

Socials: Instagram - @bespokefamily / Facebook - @bespokefamily 

For information about a Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more) - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’     

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative 

You probably already know Susie Amy – perhaps from Footballer’s Wives or maybe from Hollyoaks or as a stage actress (we recently saw her in Fatal Attraction).  We do too, but we are also lucky to know Susie via a mutual friend who gave her a gift of some time with Claire when her first baby was born. Susie didn’t feel for a while that she was ready to use this gift straight away – she felt instead that her baby didn’t like / need sleep and was just a bit different! When Claire spent some time with Susie and her family a routine was introduced and they haven’t looked back! 

We talked to Susie about: 

• The importance of sleep (and how more sleep means better sleep)! 
• When Claire had worked with her and Raff to introduce a routine - they stuck to it like glue and responded to their baby’s sleep signals, Noa immediately responded! 
• How predictability is important to all of us and how Susie has found the children’s routine helpful for her as well. 
• The responsibility of having a baby feeling huge, but how just a few tweaks and a routine can help so much. 
• Trusting your instincts as a parent. 
• Being nap trapped and how it doesn’t have to be a negative thing! 
• Restorative naps and where these work best. 
• Morning, bedtime and bathtime routines and how important they are from the start. 
• How the best gift for a new parent is support! 

Instagram - @bespokefamily / Facebook - @bespokefamily 

 ‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more) - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’     

For information about a Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations     

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative 

If not, you must listen to this podcast! 

We spoke to Bik-ki Wong and Helen Thompson who are both partners at Myerson solicitors 

Bik-ki is responsible for wills, trust and probate and Helen heads up the department that looks after contesting wills. 

We talked to Bik-ki about: 

• What happens if you don’t write a will? Doesn’t it just go to my husband / wife?  Not necessarily, Bik-ki explained. And what happens if you aren’t married? 
• How many people we know who don’t have a will and don’t want to think about it. 
• The fact that a will doesn’t have to be expensive; you can have a simple one drawn up and there are charities that might write a simple one for you. 
• What happens if you both die and don’t have a will or are a sole / single parent? 
• Appointing a guardian, how you do this and the implications. 
• Some real-life case studies of families who realised they needed to make a will for example because of illness or divorce. 
• How often you should review your will once it has been written. 
• Some of the terminology and responsibilities. The role of an Executor, Trustee, Guardian, how many you should have and things to consider when choosing them. 
• How having family planning meetings around writing wills can be helpful. 
• 3 things that Bik-Ki would say to someone who doesn't have a will. 

And we talked to Helen about: 

What happens when... 

• a will is challenged and the associated issues and conflicts. 
• there isn’t a will and the intestacy rules that come in to play where the law decides what happens. 
• for example, a child isn’t provided for in a will because a will hasn’t been updated. 
• Considerations for blended families, step families, solo parents, single parents etc. 

3 things to consider when looking at issues with a will. 

Instagram: @myersonsolicitors @bespokefamily / Facebook - @bespokefamily 

More information about Myerson can be found here - https://www.myerson.co.uk/ 

Contact Myerson about making a will here

Government information on making a will: https://www.gov.uk/make-will 

Read our bereavement blogs here including a blog from Bik-Ki about writing a will 

 ‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more) - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’     

For information about a Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations     

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative 

Violet (Katherine’s eldest daughter) was fully out of nappies by 10 / 11 months, but how did she do it?!  Katherine shares all with us in this funny, insightful and informative episode!  

Amongst all the talk of poo and pee, we chatted with Katherine about... 

• The potty training approach Katherine has used –often referred to as elimination communication. She told us how she has used this approach with all of her children by having a consistent routine, watching their faces for signs, offering the potty several times a day and gradually transitioning the children out of nappies. The key she said, is consistency, routine, never to punish and  learn their cues. 
• How Katherine wasn’t sure she would have attempted Potty training twins with this method, but gave us some tips as to how she’d approach it. She felt like waiting to potty train until her children were toddlers would have meant push back to using the potty, but that by using this method it’s all they have ever known!
• How people reacted to Violet being potty trained so early. 
• Katherine’s approach to parenting being based on instinct, putting herself in her children’s shoes when making decisions on how to care for them. She feels that what is most important is to have a peaceful caregiver and doing things to make this happen with no judgement. 
• Her attitude to social media and how it has affected her parenting (it hasn’t!). How her biggest change in approach since having Violet is considering Bobby as the other parent and convincing him of her wild and wacky parenting ideas (he knows how lucky he is!). 
• Katherine ‘s new TV programme ‘Parental Guidance’ and all the different families she has met through this.  

 ‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more) - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’    

For information about a Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

 Instagram - @bespokefamily  

 Facebook - @bespokefamily  

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative   

Molly is founder of The Body Happy Organisation and author of ‘Every Body’ and ‘Body Happy Kids’  

We spoke to Molly about: 

• Her background as a journalist and why she decided to focus on researching and promoting Body Confidence for children (and adults). 
• Diet culture around children and becoming aware of all the things they are watching and absorbing all the time. 
• Teaching children to value, respect and give dignity to everyone regardless of what they look like. 
• Body diversity, discrimination and poor body image. 
• Weight stigma and weight bias and how this can affect people throughout their lives, for example how well children do in school, in their career and future lives. 
• Molly’s books – ‘Every Body’ for children aged 9+ - and how body image is ‘a we issue not a me issue’ and ‘Body Happy Kids’ written for parents to help children and teens love the skin they are in - raising children with a positive body image. 
• Being at peace with your body and all the things that feed into this – body appreciation. 
• How parents can approach conversations with children when they are being negative about their bodies or when someone has made a comment about their body.  
• How listening and encouraging children to talk to us is one of the most important things we can teach them. 

 Instagram @bespokefamily / @MollyJForbes / @bodyhappyorg 

Facebook @bespokefamily 

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more)  

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative 

There are lots of different ways for children to play, but one of the elements of play is rough and tumble – but what is it?  

We spoke about: 

• What is involved in rough and tumble play?  
• Respecting when your little one wants to stop and establishing rules / boundaries for when children are playing rough and tumble together and how to do this (perhaps have a word - possibly “Flamingo” or maybe even “sausages” 😉!!). Sharing these rules with others who might want to do rough and tumble play with your children. 
• Understanding their own bodies and their own limits (and recognising that rough and tumble isn’t for every child). 
• How this kind of play contributes to relationships and is a valuable learning opportunity. 
• When this kind of play can fit in well during your day and how it can help with emotions / get the ‘wiggles’ out. 
• Why wind down from Rough and tumble play is important. 
• Some ideas of what you can do for rough and tumble play. 

Our blog: Why children need rough and tumble in their day

 ‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more) - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’    

For information about a 1:1 Parent Consultations to support with behaviour click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

Instagram - @bespokefamily  

Facebook - @bespokefamily    

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative

Hitting (and any of that type of ‘inappropriate’ behaviour) can be difficult whichever side you are on – either the parent of the child who is hitting or the one who has been hit. 

We chatted about: 

• Why Children (and some adults) do this! 
• Emotions and how they affect children’s behaviour. 
• Cause and effect – ‘if I do this what happens’. 
• How children are attention needing and that this can drive their behaviour. 
• Children laughing when they’ve hit you...and why?? 
• How to respond when a child hits. 
• Looking for triggers and pre-empting when it might happen. 
• Working together with nursery to help with the situation. 
• “Kind hands” 😂 
• 3 things to remember when your child hits. 

Our ‘Hitting’ blog: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/blog/whydoesmychildhit?rq=hit 

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more) - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’    

For information about a 1:1 Parent Consultation to support with behaviour click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

Instagram - @bespokefamily  

Facebook - @bespokefamily    

https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative

Managing the dynamic and using grandparents for childcare 

More and more we are using grandparents to help care for our children, but what do we need to think about? This episode goes into it all, the plusses, the minuses and how to approach it. 

1. Some stats – ever wondered how many of us use grandparents for childcare?   
2. Things to think about when asking grandparents if they can help with childcare – how it can really change the dynamic. 
3. “Well I raised you OK didn’t I? You’re OK...”. How to get your own parents up to speed (and on board) with the way you want / need things to be done! 
4. The relationship we (and children) have with our own parents and had with our grandparents. 
5. Having ongoing conversations and communication are important and that family time and childcare time are clearly defined so that it doesn’t impact on your relationship. 
6. Making sure the finances and ground rules are all clearly defined. 
7. Growing out of going to granny / grandpa’s house. 
8. It takes a village! 

Our Grandparent blogs – https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/blog/category/Grandparents 

State pension payments - https://www.gov.uk/government/news/looking-after-the-grandchildren-make-sure-it-counts-towards-your-state-pension 

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including sleep, welcoming your newborn and caring for your newborn) - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’    

Instagram - @bespokefamily  

Facebook - @bespokefamily    

Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative / @decibelle_creative

We talked about sleep for babies under 6 months: 

• How babies don’t immediately start sleeping through the night (and neither do we!). 
• Why they wake and what ‘sleeping through the night’ actually means. 
• The transition from the womb to ‘outside life’! It’s quite a change! 
• Can you teach babies ‘bad sleep habits’? 
• Starting to look at a sleep routine (6-8 weeks) - if you want to. 
• Introducing a bedtime routine and wind down to naps 
• 4 month sleep regression (or is it progression?) 
• Sleep associations – what they go to sleep with needs to be replicated when they wake up. 
• Are they too tired? Can you put them to bed / nap a bit earlier? 

Our Sleep blogs – https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/blog/category/Sleep 

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including sleep, welcoming your newborn and caring for your newborn) - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’    

Instagram - @bespokefamily  

Facebook - @bespokefamily    

Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

We covered so much with Sian including: 

• Sian’s background and how @moonandrue started with a few weaning videos! 
• The @moonandrue community – keeping it real. 
• Baby led weaning – how a child needs to be developmentally ready (and the fact that a baby can still choke on purees). 
• Allergens and how Rue reacted to egg when she first tried it. 
• How Rue choked on a piece of apple, what Sian did and her feelings afterwards. 
• The baby (up to 1) and child first aid training that Sian did with @stjohn_ambulance. 
• Some tips around preparing foods for little ones and things to try and avoid. 
• The baby and child first aid resources available via St John Ambulance and what they cover. 

Useful blog –  What should I have in my first aid kit?

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars) - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’    

 Instagram - @bespokefamily / @stjohn_ambulance 

 Facebook - @bespokefamily    

TikTok - @MoonandRue 

St John Ambulance  

Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

What we want to do instinctively is to jump in and solve it for our children but they need to learn the skills to deal with it and this is what we talked about: 

• Children can be cruel – it's hard to hear when someone says they don’t want to be your friend or don’t invite you to their birthday party, but as a parent what can you do / say when this happens? 
• What do we do / say when it’s our child that isn’t being a nice friend? 
• How it’s important to think carefully about how we talk about friendships to our children. 
• Why children behave the way they do with regards to friendships. 
• Our own experiences with friendships (Claire’s story is not to be taken as advice..!!). 
• How we as adults are still working out friendships and relationships!  
• What we can do if our child is struggling with making friends. 
• Why we need to give our children the skills and support to be a good friend. 
• How we as parents eventually become second fiddle to our children’s friends! 

Our blog – Tricky Friendships...what can I do to help my child? 

 ‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars)  - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’    

 Instagram - @bespokefamily  

 Facebook - @bespokefamily    

Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

Doula Lou is a mum of 2 children – she originally trained as a nanny and worked with children and families for 8 years.  Following the birth of her own children she stayed at home caring for them.  Once they had both gone to school she decided to re-train as a post-natal Doula. 

We talked to Lou about: 

• A Doula’s role and responsibilities. 
• Lou’s training as a Doula and what’s involved. 
• The difference between a Maternity Nurse and a Doula. 
• The Fourth Trimester explained and Lou’s own experiences of this. 
• The developing brain – how babies look to us to help them solve how they feel and to meet their basic needs. 
• Looking after yourself in the early days and getting used to having a new little person completely reliant on you. 
• Some things to think about in those early days and the importance of finding your ‘tribe’. 
• A post-natal plan and what you can include. 
• Birth trauma and the three step rewind. 
• Lou’s top 3 tips for new parents. 

Doula Lou Instagram 

Lou’s website - www.doula-lou.com 

Doula UK for training and to find a Doula 

 ‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars)  - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’    

 Instagram - @bespokefamily  

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Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

How do you deal with it if you have a different parenting style from your partner, parent, friend etc. and how can we make sure that the way we parent is helping to promote our children’s independence?

We chatted about: 

• How different parenting approaches can impact on children’s resilience. 
• The fact that we have become very risk averse and have started to always be there (in person or via technology) to make sure our children are OK. 
• How our experiences of being parented can impact our own parenting style.  
• That our ‘safety mode’ needs to teach our children how to help themselves when we aren’t there. 
• What has changed since we were little without a phone or any tracking apps? 
• Managing risk and trust – children need to feel trusted to try things with our support and suggestions. 
• What happens when we micromanage our children. 
• The importance of talking to partners and other carers about the approach you are taking – it’s a constant review.   
• Changing your own narrative to take your own feelings out of it and problem solve together with your children. 
• Striking a balance – not being too overprotective but teaching them the life skills to be able to cope. 
• All the animals...! Tiger, Jellyfish, Elephant, Dolphin (lawnmower!) parenting etc. 

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars) - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’    

Instagram - @bespokefamily  

Facebook - @bespokefamily    

Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

Suzanne’s own experiences inspired her to set up the Parenting Mental Health charity – in 2015 when Suzanne’s daughter Issy was 14, she was severely bullied at school leading to a sharp decline in her mental health – she was depressed, anxious and suicidal.  

We talked through many aspects of this story including: 

• Issy’s final trigger, her referral and her disclosure to the doctor that she was going to end her life – this was the moment Suzanne shared where the family reached absolute crisis point. 
• Suzanne’s experiences of CAMHS (Children and Adolescent Mental Health Service) and other therapy support. 
• How Suzanne felt she had failed as a parent who just wanted to ‘fix’ what was happening to Issy, as well as the deep shame, trauma and isolation she felt as a parent of a child with a mental health issue. 
• ‘Partnering not parenting’ the programme that Suzanne has written for parents of young people who are experiencing poor mental health. 
• The Facebook group Suzanne set up to support parents in the same critical situation that she experienced and how it grew and grew. 
• How the only control we have over our children’s life is how we behave and how we respond. That love isn’t enough and we need spaces to connect with people who are further along the road with their child’s mental health journey. 
• Suzanne’s 3 things that she feels are most important as a parent - Am I present? Can I be patient? Am I listening? 
• The fact that we don’t have to come to crisis point to change - it starts with today.  
• That children don’t have to be happy all the time! Suzanne’s advice is to look for presence, not for happiness. 

 ‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including ‘Your Guide to Teens and Tweens’) - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’    

Parenting mental health website  

Suzanne’s book – Never let go – how to parent your child through mental illness 

https://www.youtube.com/@parentingmentalhealth 

Our Tween / Teenage blogs 

If you have enjoyed this podcast have a look at our other teen episodes. 

Talking to Teenagers 

Parenting Teens 

Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

A bit of a different episode this week where we introduce you to our parent consultations and give you some information about what they actually involve, including... 

• How to decide whether a parent consultation is for you. 
• What a parent consultation can help with. 
• The fact that each consultation is tailored to each individual family and their situation.  
• The overwhelm parents feel with so many different types of information being given to them and the benefit of having someone completely objective look at their situation. 
• The forms and information we need before the call. 
• How important it is that everyone is on board with what the plan is. 
• The packages we offer and how they work. 
• The fact that you might get emotional – but you absolutely won’t be the first one (and you absolutely won’t find judgement on any situation you find yourself in). 
• The importance of consistency to resolve any situation! 
• Coming back to us – we love supporting families on a recurring basis as their children move through the different stages (Newborn to Teen and Everything in Between!). 
• An introduction to our consultants and their backgrounds. 

 ‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including our ‘guide to sleep’)  - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’    

Parent Consultation information 

 Instagram - @bespokefamily    

 Facebook - @bespokefamily   

 Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations

We met Josephine at The International Women’s Podcast Awards when she was nominated for her podcast ‘Gloriously unready’ and we were nominated for ours 😉. 

Josephine was mum to 3 boys – quite the challenge (her words!). However, two of her children told her (completely independently and within a few months of each other) that they were transgender. One of Josephine’s daughters has now been on hormones for about 8 years (she is now, at the time of recording, 30) and the other daughter for about 3 years (she is now 26). Josephine now has 1 son and 2 daughters. 

Amongst alot of things, we spoke with Josephine about: 

• How hard it was to accept – Josephine had to readjust all her thinking and deal with her own feelings of loss and fear – were her children they wrong, were they making a mistake? 
• Josephine’s feelings when the children told her (you can listen to Josephine's youngest daughter’s side of the story at the start of the second series of Josephine’s podcast Gloriously unready). 
• How there were no signs of the children questioning their gender in childhood, yet one of the girls said to Josephine that she had felt like it for the whole of her life.  
• How Josephine's middle child has felt about it all. 
• Whether the religious side of Josephine's life made it harder for her especially with regards to acceptance of what had happened in her church. 
• How while the explosion of social media and open discussion around sexuality and gender has opened up the conversation for teens, it can be difficult for parents to navigate how to handle this.  
• How important it is that people might not understand transgender but that having a respectful society is what we need. 
• Puberty blockers, surgery and the recent Cass review. 
• How meeting transgender people and having conversations with them about the process and hearing their stories has provided Josephine with support and understanding in this area.  
• Practical things that can be done to change your gender and how much easier it is to do these things in other countries. 
• How Josephine's wider family reacted to the girls including how, since her 2 girls came out, and just a couple of years ago, Josephine’s brother also came out as transgender and is now her sister. 
• What Josephine would say to parents whose children have just told them they are transgender. 
• The real positives of being a transgender parent.  

Another of our podcast episodes you might find interesting – Gender and Sexuality 

Josephine’s podcast page - Gloriously unready 

Instagram @bespokefamily / @TheJosephineHughes 

Facebook @bespokefamily 

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: 

This is one of our most read blogs on the website (see link to this below) and so we thought it would be a good thing to talk about! 

• Why does this happen and isn’t it just the same as waking through the night? 
• Some of the reasons this might happen – can naps have an impact for example? Do you need to bring bedtime forward?  
• Having a check list as to what the cause might be (and what to put on the list). 
• The bedtime routine and why it is so important. 
• How to make changes and be consistent! 

 ‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including our ‘guide to sleep’)  - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’    

Why does my little one wake within an hour of going to bed? - Our Blog 

 Instagram - @bespokefamily    

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 Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

We talked about:  

• Why Jenny does what she does and how she supports working mums (and dads). 
• What really thriving means as a working parent. 
• How to bring yourself up in the priority list in order to bring the best of yourself to parenting. 
• Where does the guilt come from in doing things for yourself? Remembering that you can have it all but you can’t do it all! 
• The concept of self care and what does this really mean? For example, isn’t a relaxing bath just a basic need?  
• Why it’s important for your children to see that it’s OK to not always be busy. 
• Carving out adult time when / if you can – it really is OK to put yourself first and does you good. 
• Jenny’s top 3 tips to help you thrive not just survive! 

 ‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including our newborn guides)  - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’    

 Instagram - @bespokefamily   / @jennyhopkinscoaching 

 Facebook - @bespokefamily      

Jenny’s website: Jennyhopkinscoaching.com  

 Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

We talked about:  

• How the pregnancies were for Stu and how he researched and prepared for each baby to come.  
• How Stu doesn’t have any real experience with children – with his first child he was always learning and it was all a bit surreal!  
• Having a second child and how this will change the dynamic from having a first baby.  
• The key role that dad / the partner that isn’t carrying the baby plays. He couldn’t breastfeed, but contributed in other ways working as part of a family team!  
• The thing that really stood out for Stu as a new dad?   
• Whether he met and connected with any other dads?  
• Stu’s experiences of having his first child during Covid.  
• Stu’s advice for a new dad.  
• How to handle any concerns and worries and the fact that everyone makes mistakes! 

Stu’s book recommendations: 

Your baby week by week – Caroline Fertleman and Simone Cave 

Crib sheet - A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool – Emily Oster 

 ‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including our newborn guides)  - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’    

 Instagram - @bespokefamily    

 Facebook - @bespokefamily      

 Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

This is a topic which lots of people told us they wanted more information about so we went on a deep dive (?!) into night time dryness!  

 We talked about: 

• The expectation that once days are dry that nights will automatically follow. 
• The hormone we need to help us stay dry at night. 
• What night time dryness really means.  
• When you might need to visit your GP. 
• How you know if your child is ready or not to be dry at night. 
• The stats – how many children are wet through the night and at what age? 
• The reasons why your child might wet the bed. 
• The importance of checking whether or not your child is constipated and why / how this can affect night time dryness. 
• What you can do to help, how to be prepared for when it happens and some products to help. 
• The ‘dream wee’ – is it really the top tip it is purported to be?? 

Our toilet training blogs  

ERIC – the children’s bowel and bladder charity - bedwetting information 

Products that might help  - Amazon link

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including ‘Your Guide to Toilet Training’)  - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’    

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 Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

“We don’t go to a French class already speaking French” was how Sam @SPDTuitionandCoaching started the podcast and this was how she and Charlotte want all parents to approach preparations for school.  They feel that children need to be learning ready – not from what they know already but how they are prepared using emotional balance and communication. 

Sam and Charlotte are both mums of children under 5, with Charlotte’s little one preparing to go to school for the first time in September. We had a fascinating discussion with them about: 

• Whether your child needs to be able to write their name and do basic maths before they start school (they don’t..!) 
• Giving parents the skills to feel empowered to have a proactive approach to building foundations for school.  
• What to do if you as a parent didn’t like school yourself! 
• Why emotional balance is so important for this transition. 
• How we can model our own emotions to help our children’s development. 
• Speech and language – encouraging communication in whichever way is appropriate for our children. 
• Preparing for ‘what you could do’ rather than ‘what you should do’.  
• The Foundations for skills workshop from Sam and Charlotte at 8.30pm 12 July 2023 (don’t worry if you have missed it, get in touch with Sam / Charlotte as there is a recording you can access too!). The free session will give you some simple tools to help prepare your children for school. Click on the link below to register.   

Click the link to book the workshop on 12 July 2023 (look out for a special Bespoke Family gift from Sam and Charlotte too!) - Book the workshop here!

Our preparing for school blogs: 

How to help your child prepare for school 

That ‘back to school feeling’ 

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars)  - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’   

Instagram - @bespokefamily   / @spdtuitionandcoaching / @speechtherapywithcharlotte 

Facebook - @bespokefamily     

Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations       

In this episode we talked about everything you need to know to help you make a decision that is right for you and your children including all of the different types of childcare, financial considerations, the hours you need covered, location, facilities and more! 

We also covered: 

• Planning ahead – how far and what to consider 
• Different types of childcare and how they operate. 
• Dealing with sickness (including a couple of lovely anecdotes 🤢) 
• What to look for and how to decide. 

Blogs: 

Choosing childcare that is right for you and your child 

What to look for when choosing a nursery and how to prepare your child/ren (and you) for their first day! 

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars)  - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’   

Instagram - @bespokefamily    

Facebook - @bespokefamily     

Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations       

For the first time in a while Claire posed a question in Challenge Becks – what would she do when faced with a monumental meltdown??! How did she answer..?  

We also talked about: 

• Why a tantrum might escalate. 
• Looking at our own triggers - how it is never easy in the moment especially with so many things are going on for both of you. 
• Some ideas for strategies to use to help regulate ourselves (which we need to do, to be able to help regulate our children). 
• How there are days when you will ‘smash it’ in terms of your approach and days when you go to bed feeling like the whole day has been a disaster (remember that you are only human and it’s OK!). 
• The importance of making sure that children know what’s going on in their day, especially because it might help to prevent a tantrum escalation. 
• Thinking about how you would help support a friend and look at how you can do the same with your children – ‘connect before you re-direct’. 
• What you can do to try and help your child when they are mid meltdown (and whether offering a cuddle is like giving a reward for the tantrum). 
• How the techniques you use with toddlers can also help when you have teenagers! 
• And finally, some reassurance that even Claire can get triggered when a child is having a meltdown!  

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars)  - including ‘Your Guide to Behaviour and Emotions’ - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’  

Instagram - @bespokefamily   

Facebook - @bespokefamily    

Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations      

Karen has been interested in play for a long time – she finds play fascinating and has a career dedicated to teaching, researching and learning about it. She has a PhD in Play and is now a Lecturer at Bath Spa University.  We covered so much with Karen including: 

• Helping parents understand play and how it can make a real difference to home life and how it connects children and adults.  
• The value of following children’s lead in play and the skill of playing alongside them rather than hijacking it. 
• Feeling more comfortable with suspending reality and finding our inner child.  
• Balancing your day with activities, outings, free play etc – do you need to? 
• The importance of understanding your child and their interests. 
• Invitations to play – what are they and how much effort do they take?! 
• What toys you really need (spoiler alert – sometimes a box of bricks or a cardboard box is all!). 
• Managing situations where children aren’t interested in the activities you have set up and whether it matters and what you can do if ‘all they want to do is play with cars’! 
• Karen’s 3 main benefits of play. 
• And finally, the fact that all the points we discuss are as relevant for neurodivergent children as they are for neurotypical children – play is play! 

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars)  - including ‘Your Guide to Play’ - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’ 

Instagram - @bespokefamily  

Facebook - @bespokefamily   

Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations     

Wedding and party season is fast approaching which is so lovely and exciting, but can sometimes be tricky when you throw little children into the mix! In our episode this week we talk about things that might be a challenge and how you can make taking children to events a bit easier for all of you.  

We also covered: 

• How the venues that parties and weddings are held in tend to be huge open spaces – perfect for running and making lots of noise!! 
• Becks’s wedding and how she prepared her twins (age 2 at the time) within an inch of their lives 😉 
• Knowing what to expect at the event and managing your own expectations. 
• The FOMO is real at occasions like this – how do you make it work? 
• Being ready with a plan B if your children don’t want to participate in any activities provided. 
• Some ideas to help keep children occupied and what’s good to take with you. 
• Dealing with possible overwhelm at family parties (for you and the children!). 
• Taking a new baby to events. 

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars) get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’ 

Instagram - @bespokefamily  

Facebook - @bespokefamily   

Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations     

*Trigger warning – we talk openly about relationships and sex in this podcast* 

Saskia is a sex education and relationship teacher – she delivers classes in school as well as talking to parents about what foundations to put in place at home.  

This episode is longer than usual (and we could have gone on talking!), but we had so much to cover on such an important topic.  Amongst other things we chatted with Saskia about: 

• Parents being an invaluable source of information for children. 
• Having a ‘long lense’ on the conversation – it doesn’t all need to be talked about at once. 
• Our own experiences of sex education – who remembers having ‘the talk’?! 
• The importance of using the correct terminology for anatomy from a young age. 
• Making the topic part of every day conversation and some ideas of how to frame conversations as well as places that it can be easier to have them (in the car etc) 
• Remembering to talk about other ways that babies can be made (eg IVF, surrogacy etc) 
• Always answering questions even if you need someone to help you. 
• What to do when children become aware of their own bodies and start to explore their ‘private parts’. 
• Whether Saskia ever gets embarrassed talking about sex? 
• 
  

Helpful Relationship and Sex Education books for all ages (IMPORTANT: before reading any book with your child(ren) please read it to check that you are comfortable and happy with the content)  

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars)  get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’ 

Instagram - @bespokefamily / @factsoflife.ed 

Facebook - @bespokefamily   

Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations     

Are you a hugger? Becks is, Claire isn’t (she just doesn’t feel the need all the time!)! 

We spoke about: 

• Our own experiences with hugging and showing affection. 
• How to approach situations with children and hugging – should it be an expectation that your child hugs people? 
• If not, what should you do? 
• Having conversations with people about the fact your child can say no they don’t want a hug and when to do it. 
• Kissing little ones and reasons we don’t kiss newborn babies (or you could kiss their feet!). 
• Teaching children life skills so they know the importance of saying no if something doesn't feel right – that their body is their body and it’s OK. 
• How showing affection can be done in many different ways.  
• The pandemic and how we weren’t allowed to hug! 
• 5 Love Languages and how helpful they are for all of us. 
• The power of the Disney Hug. 
• NSPCC and the PANTS rule. 

Blogs – Should I make my child hug people? 

You might also find this blog interesting – Why doesn’t my child show much affection? 

NSPCC PANTS rule 

Find your Love Language with this free quiz 

Instagram @bespokefamily  

Facebook @bespokefamily 

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more)  

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative 

If you are experiencing this at the moment you will know that it can cause so much upset, not only for the parent or carer that is being ‘rejected’, but also for the parent / carer who is needing to do everything with and for their child.  

In this episode we talked about: 

• Why this happens and typically what age it might be. 
• The emotions surrounding it and how it can feel for parents and carers. 
• What you can do to help (and why it’s important not to push things with your little one – your reactions will always provoke a reaction!) 
• How children are egocentric and only see things from their own perspective – this stage is all about learning about life, feelings and building connections. 
• How this can happen any time but that it is particularly prevalent at times of change.  
• Some steps to try and help and other things you can do to help keep your child feeling safe and secure.  

My child only wants me! - blog 

Separation anxiety blogs 

Separation anxiety podcast episode 

Helpful books  

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars)  get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’ 

Instagram - @bespokefamily  

Facebook - @bespokefamily   

Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations     

It was a delight to chat with Elizabeth who has worked in education for 35 years. With suicide being the 2nd highest cause of death in North America, her aim is to build and strengthen bridges between teens and their parents / carers, connecting families through courageous conversations. 

We talked about: 

·         The teenage brain and how we need to develop our own approach alongside our teens’ development. 

·         How it’s good to be a consultant not a manager to our teens and always being honest with them. 

·         Building resilience and respectful relationships with our teens. 

·         Whether being a parent to a teenager is really that bad! 

·         Starting the conversation early to get it to be 2nd nature – valuing our children’s voice. 

·         Looking at how to start conversations in a different way to avoid escalation (this can help with adults too!). 

·         Allowing teens time to de-compress and why it’s important for them. 

·         And finally, Elizabeth’s top tips for communicating with teenagers. 

Elizabeth’s book - ‘Courageous Conversations’ 

Elizabeth’s website 

Teen blogs  

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars) including ‘Your Guide to Teens’ get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’ 

Instagram - @bespokefamily  

Facebook - @bespokefamily   

Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations     

Becks never used a screen for her children at mealtimes, but that was only because she didn’t have a smart phone or ipad when they were little! There is no judgement here and also no need to despair if your children are watching a screen at mealtimes, all is not lost and this podcast will help! 

We talked about ... 

• the reasons we might start letting our children have a screen at mealtime (surely it’s a good thing if the child is eating their food, is calm and isn’t bored?!)   
• our own screen use – especially at meal times or when our children are eating. 
• how focussing on a screen affects us and the way we eat. 
• the benefits of family mealtimes and conversation. 
• what we can do to help our little ones eat without a screen (and lots of ideas and suggestions for what to do instead!). 
• 
  

Instagram - @bespokefamily  

Facebook - @bespokefamily   

Blog – Screentime and mealtimes...is it OK? 

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars)  get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’ 

Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations     

We started the podcast with Emma describing how Amala was diagnosed, which happened very quickly just after the twins were born.

This is an emotional listen – Emma has faced a huge amount of challenge since Amala was born with sadly almost non-existent support; but she has learnt so much, not least that Amala is just as perfect as her other children, she just has different needs. 

We also talked to Emma about: 

• Balancing Amala’s needs with those of her other children. 
• The life skills that her boys have gained by having a sister with Down’s Syndrome – including empathy and acceptance of people’s differences.  
• The negativity that Emma and her family have experienced from her family since Amala (whose condition was seen as bad luck) was born. 
• What Emma would say to a parent who has a child with special needs. 
• Together or apart? Why Emma decided to separate her twins at pre-school and how their independence grew. 
• The need to always be fighting for your child’s rights and a childhood they deserve. 
• What Emma has learnt from being a parent of a child with special needs. 

Instagram - @bespokefamily  

Facebook - @bespokefamily   

Find out more about the charity Gympanzees which Emma mentioned here  

Books by Sue Buckley who Emma speaks so highly of in the podcast can be found here 

Down’s Syndrome Association 

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars) including Sleep - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’ 

Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations     

Without even talking about being nap trapped, the topic of naps are already a big thing for parents! Encouraging babies and children to get the right amount of sleep in the day can become an obsession – if only to get a full night’s sleep! Being nap trapped is therefore a double-edged sword – on one hand you want your little one to get good restorative sleep, but on the other you also don’t want to be stuck at home or compromise naps because of the school run etc.     

In this episode we spoke about: 

• What being nap trapped even means! 
• Why so many classes and groups seem to be over nap time (spoiler alert – we didn’t have the answer to this one..!) 
• Prioritising what’s important to you and perhaps changing our mindset with regards to naps. 
• Slowing things down and looking at each day to see how that might help to plan naps in. 
• The importance of a pre-nap routine to help our little ones to wind down to sleep. 
• The ever evolving nap schedule (remember that one day there will be no naps!) 

Instagram - @bespokefamily  

Facebook - @bespokefamily   

Our sleep blogs! 

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars) including Sleep - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’ 

Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations     

Jemma is a Bereavement Support Practitioner at Winston’s Wish for their online and helpline services; providing advice, support and guidance to young people, parents and caregivers as well as professionals. We had a really interesting chat with Jemma about the services that Winston’s Wish provide, but also about how to communicate with children about death and how we grow around grief. 

Claire also shared her own personal story, supporting a family who are very close to her following the death of a parent. 

We talked about: 

• The key messages when someone calls the Winston’s Wish helpline. 
• That it’s OK not to feel sad and not to cry when someone dies. 
• Whether you can make things worse by talking with family and friends about death and dying (you can’t!). 
• Taking children’s lead in these situations and being as open and honest with them as possible. 
• Communication around bereavement with much younger children.  
• The death of the Queen and what impact this had. 
• What happens after someone has died and what support is good to offer while life inevitably moves on – how to continue to remember and honour the person who has died. 
• Where the name ‘Winston’s Wish’ came from! 
• 3 key things to be aware of when someone dies. 

Winston’s Wish Website 

Helpline number: 08088 020 021

Instagram - @bespokefamily / @winstonswish 

Facebook - @bespokefamily / @winstonswish 

Our bereavement blogs 

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars) including Welcoming your Newborn / Caring for your Newborn - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’ 

Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations     

Claire has worked with children and babies for over 20 years and in that time has made up and fed to her charges, more bottles than Becks has had hot dinners (and that’s a lot!).  In this episode, Becks picks Claire’s brain about all things bottle feeding! 

We covered ALOT(!) including: 

• The paraphernalia and the important things to make sure you have. 
• Different types of steriliser, how to use them and the pros and cons of each. 
• Washing your bottles. 
• Making up a bottle.  
• The NHS booklet that we can’t get enough of (see link below)! 
• Storing expressed milk. 
• Which formula milk? 
• Out and about and travelling with a bottle feeding baby. 
• Teat sizes and how much milk to give. 
• Bottle feeding multiples. 
• Feeding safely. 

NHS Guide to Bottle Feeding 

Our YouTube videos for bottlefeeding (loads of practical demonsatrations!) 

Instagram - @bespokefamily  

Facebook - @bespokefamily   

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars) including Welcoming your Newborn / Caring for your Newborn - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’ 

Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations     

Hannah worked as a nanny before she had her own children and it was then that she realised the importance of support in the area of breastfeeding. She trained as an IBCLC practitioner and is now a qualified lactation consultant (put simply, that means that there’s not much that Hannah doesn’t know about breastfeeding!) 

We talked with Hannah about: 

• What a lactation consultant is and what IBCLC stands for and means! 
• Some of the issues that can be experienced by families around feeding and how a lactation consultant can help. 
• How you know where to go for to get the right advice. 
• Making a feeding plan before baby is born. 
• Common misconceptions around breastfeeding. 
• Preparing to breastfeed – what is actually happening to your body? 
• Getting the other parent and extended family involved. 
• Benefits of breastfeeding and what might surprise you to know. 
• Combination feeding. 
• Latching (think apples!) 
• 
  

Instagram - @bespokefamily @hannahcroftibclc 

Facebook - @bespokefamily  @hannahcroftibclc 

Hannah’s website 

Lactation Consultants of Great Britain website 

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars) including Breastfeeding / Welcoming your Newborn / Caring for your Newborn - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’ 

Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations     

Samantha Dholakia (Sam) from SPD Tuition and Coaching has worked with children all her life and is particularly interested in the link between academic success and wellbeing. In her work she looks at how connecting with children (of all ages) helps them to understand about themselves and achieve what they want to. Sam’s other qualification in this topic is that she is mum to a toddler! 

We chatted with Sam about: 

• How the toddler development stage impacts on us as parents and how we develop alongside our children as they grow. 
• The toddler reputation and how this influences the way we approach our relationships with them. 
• Why?! That constant question at this age – recognising that our toddlers are growing into little people who want to communicate and be communicated with. 
• The baby voice / baby language 
• How communication is important to help build a mutually respectful relationship with our toddlers. 
• Our relationship with our technology (phones etc) and how this can affect communication on all levels. 
• Volume (ours and our children’s!) 
• And finally, Sam’s top 3 tips for talking to toddlers. 

Blogs:  

Instagram - @bespokefamily @spdtuitionandcoaching 

Facebook - @bespokefamily   

SPD Tuition and Coaching website 

Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations     

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Christmas is a time when there are huge expectations and we put a lot of pressure on ourselves, so for this episode we decided to chat about what the issues can be and what we can do to make it all a bit easier. We talked about: 

·         Our own Christmases and who we share them with (spoiler alert...Claire’s includes a nap!) 

·         Making things ‘perfect’ and why we feel we have to make it that way. 

·         Seeing everyone at Christmas and feeling we have to cram it all into one day! 

·         What would happen if you didn’t ‘do it all’? 

·         Your inner critic and the importance of not letting it get to you! 

·         Dealing with high expectations and possible judgement at Christmas – how can you make it easier for yourself? 

·         Saying thank you by giving hugs and kisses that might be expected from children at Christmas. 

·         Setting the tone... if people don’t want to be part of it then that’s OK! 

Blogs: 

Why doesn’t my child show much affection? 

How do you get children to appreciate what they have? 

Instagram - @bespokefamily / Facebook - @bespokefamily  

Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

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This episode was so much fun!  Vern joined us from Carifit, the original baby wearing fitness programme. Cari stands for Cardio and resistance intervals and when he started the classes for new mums Vern used to wear the babies while the parents worked out - he had a light bulb moment that parents could wear their own babies to work out and it went from there! 

We talked about: 

• How from small beginnings the Carifit classes grew and then the baby carrier was born. (Shout out to Hannah Lowry who was one of the first mums to join Vern at a class!) 
• Groupology and the science and benefits of moving in sync. 
• The benefits of mood, energy and mental health from doing exercise like Carifit – it can even improve postnatal depression symptoms. 
• The marvels of the women’s body and how incredible it is! 
• How the Carifit caters for parents from the moment they become pregnant and how attitudes to postnatal and ante natal exercise has changed / is changing. 
• Shifts in attitudes to ‘getting back in shape’ after having a baby over the years Vern has been working in this area.   
• Benefits of Carifit eg no separation, no childcare required, no other people required. How Carifit works if you have multiple babies.  
• Carifit classes and the App. 
• How great baby wearing is in general - ”A tool for freedom and movement – wear your baby and move!”.  
• Golden rules for babywearing and positioning of baby’s legs. 
• Is babywearing ‘making a rod for your own back’ - spoiler alert – absolutely not, in fact research supports that babywearing will help keep your day successfully moving forward! 
• Three things that Vern wishes he had been told before he had children. 
• Babywearing benefits for baby’s brains! 
• Shout out from Vern to Mamma Social and Blaze Trails – two highly recommended babywearing walking groups. 

Instagram @cari_fit 

Carifit website - https://www.getcarifit.com/ 

Instagram @bespokefamily  

Facebook @bespokefamily 

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more)  

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative 

Vicky is a professional organiser (@youneedavicky on Instagram) and author of Amazon Bestseller Start with Your Sock Drawer, but Vicky came onto the podcast to talk about adopting her beautiful daughter ‘Tippy’. We talked about:

• What led Vicky to want to have children in the first place and why she chose adoption as her path. 
• What the adoption process involves. 
• Whether being a solo parent meant that she was treated differently in the adoption process.  
• How Vicky first met Tippy and the reactions she has had when talking about her adoption experience. 
• Tippy’s ‘life story book’ and what this means to them both. 
• Vicky’s advice to anyone thinking of adopting. 

Vicky’s favourite parenting books: 

The A-Z of Theraputic Parenting  

The Science of Parenting  

How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen  

Adoption UK  

Child adoption overview gov.uk  

Apply to adopt a child through your council  

Instagram - @bespokefamily / Facebook - @bespokefamily  

Vicky’s website 

1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

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Getting rid of your child’s dummy can be a daunting prospect, but never fear because this podcast covers all you need to know about why, when and how to ditch the dummy – this is what we cover: 

• ‘Long term’ dummy use and what issues it might cause over time? 
• The age you should look at ditching the dummy. 
• When the best time is to do it (and when shouldn’t you give it a go?) 
• Judgement (that old chestnut!) by other parents, family, friends and why you should ignore it. 
• The first steps in getting rid of the dummy and whether it has to be ‘cold turkey’. 
• Supporting little ones who don’t understand. 
• How long the whole process tends to take, and 
• How to answer the question about where all the dummies go! 

Links:  

The Lullaby Trust – Dummies and SIDS 

Our blog – Dummies and how to stop your child using theirs! 

Instagram - @bespokefamily / Facebook - @bespokefamily    

Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations   

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars) - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’ 

We were delighted to be joined for this podcast by Andrew Howard who is Curriculum Leader of PSHE at Bristol's largest secondary school, covering sex and relationship education and issues of equality, diversity and inclusion among other topics. The school Andrew works at supports many pupils with their gender identity, and has won accolades for its responsiveness to incidents of transphobia, homophobia, sexism and racism through curriculum.  

We had lots of questions (many of which we had been asked by parents) for Andrew, not least ‘what is gender and sexuality?’ Andrew answered every question we had clearly and with sensitivity (and the most important thing we learnt was that you really can’t get it wrong…) 

 We also talked about: 

• Why it’s so important to talk to children about gender and sexuality 
• How schools educate teachers and staff on the topic 
• Whether you can get it wrong 
• How parents can approach these conversations with their children 
• Coping with hostile environments at home 
• The Equality Act and what it means 
• How to support people who are exploring their gender or sexuality 
• Terminology – what’s right and what isn’t 
• The difference between sex and gender 

Links  

• Advice for parents and carers of trans people - https://genderedintelligence.co.uk/projects/kip/transidentities/parents.html  
• Off the Record (Bristol based charity) - https://www.otrbristol.org.uk 
• Brook - https://www.brook.org.uk 

Some recommended books for younger children: 

• Perfectly Norman 
• Julian is a Mermaid 
• My shadow is pink 
• Pink is for boys 

Instagram - @bespokefamily / Facebook - @bespokefamily    

Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations   

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars) - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’  

Someone asked us a question about this a while ago and it’s a topic we have been looking forward to discussing on the podcast. We weren’t sure where it would go, but actually it turned into a very interesting chat! Amongst other things, we discussed: 

• Whether being spoilt is actually a negative thing. 
• If you can spoil a child with too much attention 
• Why we can ‘be spoilt’ but children can’t! 
• Whether treating is different to spoiling? 
• How to deal with the situation when children get upset because they can’t have what they want . 
• The instant world – has it had an effect on the way we parent? 
• Judgement and parental approaches. 
• Only children and being spoilt. 
• Judgement and labelling in relation to the word ‘spoilt’ 
• Explanation and appreciation and why they are both really important when communication with and role modelling for our children. 

Links 

Instagram - @bespokefamily / Facebook - @bespokefamily   

Behaviour blogs

Bespoke Family 1:1 Parent Consultations: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations  

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars) - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’