Navigating Adult ADHD - Xena Jones

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#164 ADHD & People Pleasing: Why It’s So Hard to Say No

Épisode 164

lundi 4 mai 2026 • Durée 22:47

Are you a people-pleaser… or just terrified of letting people down?

Hi! I’m Xena & I am a recovering people-pleaser.
I cared so much about what other people thought of me & would prioritise the needs & desires of my friends, family or colleagues, above my own.

And by doing this I was telling myself that my needs & what I wanted weren’t as important... Further adding to my insecurities & lack of self-worth.

Overtime I became a chameleon - I didn’t know who I was or what I really liked because I was always going along with everyone else.

People pleasing is a pattern of thinking & doing things that prioritise what other people think over what we think - Sacrificing pleasing yourself in order to please others.

In this episode you'll learn:

Why ADHDers people please
How this pattern of behaviour impacts our ADHD symptoms
How we've got the idea of "people pleasing" all wrong
Where people pleasing comes from in our brain & how to change it

LINKS TO MORE SUPPORT & OTHER GOOD SH*T:

*Join Adulting with ADHD your ADHD toolbox & everything you need to work with your brain

*Get our ADHD Coach in your pocket! + the ADHD Goal Setting Workbook (life planner tool)

*12 Things I wished my Doctor had told me about Adult ADHD

*Find out if you might be living with ADHD - Download Symptoms List

*Check out Courses & Coaching with Xena

*Learn, Inspire, Share & Connect inside our Facebook Community

*Come hang out with me on Instagram!

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#163 ADHD & Decision Fatigue: Why Choosing Feels So Hard

Épisode 163

lundi 27 avril 2026 • Durée 35:44

Do simple decisions leave you feeling weirdly exhausted?

In this episode, I’m talking about ADHD & decision fatigue. From standing in the kitchen unable to decide what to eat, to freezing over work tasks, emails, housework, or social plans… decision-making can feel so much harder when you have ADHD.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

what decision fatigue actually is
why ADHD can make decision-making more draining
what decision fatigue can look like in real life
how shame, overwhelm & perfectionism can make choosing even harder
6 Practical ways to support your brain & reduce decision fatigue

If you’ve ever felt frozen by too many choices or exhausted by “small” decisions, this episode is for you my friend!

LOOKING FOR MORE SUPPORT?

*Join Adulting with ADHD your ADHD toolbox & everything you need to work with your brain

*Get our ADHD Coach in your pocket! + the ADHD Goal Setting Workbook (life planner tool)

*12 Things I wished my Doctor had told me about Adult ADHD

*Find out if you might be living with ADHD - Download Symptoms List

#154 Don’t Tell Me What To Do: ADHD, PDA & The Demand-Avoidant Brain

Épisode 154

lundi 23 février 2026 • Durée 31:30

In this episode, we’re unpacking Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) - It’s the “the second it becomes a have to, my brain says hell no” feeling, you might experience…

I can decide myself to clean the kitchen & feel fine. But if my partner asks me, suddenly it’s a whole thing!

We’ll chat about:

What PDA is & how it’s driven by anxiety & a need for autonomy, not laziness or being difficult.
How PDA can show up in adults with ADHD, from ignoring texts to melting down over “simple” tasks
Why your nervous system treats everyday demands like threats, even when they’re self-care or fun
The key difference between PDA & ODD (and how the why behind behaviour matters)
3 Practical ways to make demands feel smaller & safer, increase your sense of choice,& support your nervous system instead of bullying yourself into action

If you’ve ever wondered, “Why do I fight even the things I want to do?”, this episode is for you my friend.

LINKS TO GOOD SH*T:

*Join Adulting with ADHD your ADHD toolbox & everything you need to work with your brain

*Get our ADHD Coach in your pocket! + the ADHD Goal Setting Workbook (life planner tool)

*12 Things I wished my Doctor had told me about Adult ADHD

#69 Perfectionism & the sneaky ways it shows up for adults with ADHD

Épisode 69

lundi 8 juillet 2024 • Durée 31:03

Perfectionism is common amongst adults with ADHD, especially if you are highly critical of yourself.

Setting unrealistic goals & expectations, then beating yourself up for not achieving them...? This is perfectionism.

Perfectionism tells us: If I do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of blame, judgement, and shame.

In this episode we are explore:

The sneaky ways perfectionism shows up in our lives
Where it comes from & why so many ADHDers experience it
How it affects all areas of our lives & never works
The solution to overcoming it

For more support check out:
Instagram
Facebook
Website

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#68 Creating Connection with Vince Ford

Épisode 68

lundi 1 juillet 2024 • Durée 49:50

"We are hard wired to connect with others" And for us ADHDers this can be tricky as we navigate RSD & a busy mind...

And today's special guest, Vince Ford, is an expert on creating connection.

In this episode we cover:

The link between physical pain & the emotional pain of rejection. Plus a surprising cure that works for both!
What mentalizing is & how it impacts our interactions with others
A simple trick for reframing the overthinking & negative stories we might spiral in
How “practicing” social connection feels good & lessens the fear of rejection
Using stories to connect
How social connections are changing & what we can do to bridge the gap when we interact with others

And as usual you’ll hear my “ADHD in real time” throughout this interview!
Connect with Vince here: https://vinceford.org/

For more support & resources visit: navigatingadultadhd.com

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#67 ADHD & Addiction

Épisode 67

lundi 24 juin 2024 • Durée 25:15

I just thought I had an addictive personality. Turns out that I had undiagnosed ADHD.

For me it was food (sugar), alcohol & shopping. I used them as a way to both escape the painful parts of my life & to feel good.

All addictions have one thing in common: DOPAMINE.

And while many articles will tell you we become addicted because we are "dopamine seeking"... I don't fully agree.

In this episode we explore:

What addiction looks like & how it develops in people with ADHD
The 2 things that I believe lead us towards addiction
The work of Anna Lembke & the role of dopamine

In this episode I recommend & refer to Anna Lembke's book: Dopamine Nation

Find Xena here:
Instagram
Website
Facebook

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#66 Setting boundaries & improving relationships

Épisode 66

lundi 17 juin 2024 • Durée 29:03

The root of self-care is setting boundaries: It’s saying no to something in order to say yes to your own emotional, physical & mental well-being.

Healthy boundaries are "what's ok & what is not ok."

Setting & upholding boundaries is a skill we can learn. One that not only prevents burnout, but also improves our relationships & creates more balance in our lives.

In this episode we are talking about:

Why adults with ADHD often struggle with boundaries
Examples of healthy boundaries in relationships
How to know when you need to set a boundary
Why setting boundaries is hard & worth it

The book recommended in this episode is: Set Boundaries, find peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab

For more support from Xena visit:
Instagram
Website
Facebook

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#65 ADHD & The Dopamine Hangover

Épisode 65

lundi 10 juin 2024 • Durée 19:57

You know that low feeling you get after you return from a holiday?
That reason why you book the next trip to look forward to asap?

THIS is a dopamine hangover.

Anytime we spike our dopamine levels, for example jumping out of a plane & then feeling on top of the world.
Later results in a significant drop in dopamine (what goes up must come down, literally!) & it doesn't feel so good.

This results in us feeling lower in mood, having less motivation & drive to do things & having less interest in things we would usually enjoy.

Listen in to learn more about how to manage your dopamine levels so you can thrive with ADHD!

LINKS:
Wanna hangout on Instagram? You'll find me here
Looking for more support? navigatingadultadhd.com

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#64 How social conditioning impacts self-worth for adults with ADHD

Épisode 64

lundi 3 juin 2024 • Durée 26:31

Do you tie your self-worth to how productive you are?
Never feel like you're doing enough?

Due to the way we've been raised & the messages we've absorbed growing up, most adults with ADHD, especially women, struggle with this! (myself included)

In this episode we explore:

The messages ADHDers & women have received growing up
How these impact our self-worth
Questions we can ask ourselves to challenge & change our self-limiting beliefs
Plus I share my own recent revelations with this

Come hang out with me on social media:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/navigating.adult.adhd/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/xenajonescoach
Website: navigatingadultadhd.com

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#63 Adult ADHD & Beating Yourself Up

Épisode 63

lundi 27 mai 2024 • Durée 26:25

Somewhere along the way we developed this idea that in order to be better & do better we had to beat ourselves up.

How’s that working out for you? Are you improving your life by hating yourself? Are you creating positive results?

The truth is: You can’t hate your way to happiness.
Trust me, I tried.

Hate only creates more negativity in our lives.

And beating ourselves up is effectively punching ourselves in the face. It hurts & it’s not creating a positive outcome.

All feelings drive all of our actions.
So in order to DO better, we must FEEL better first.
Listen in to find out how!

For more support visit: navigatingadultadhd.com
+ Come hangout on Instagram

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