We try not to get distracted by sandwiches as we talk central packing, funeral catering and, yes, the return of our old Geordie friend in the series finale. PLUS: We discuss playing with audience expectations, the clash of old and new Partridge, and where this series of Oasthouse sits in the APU.

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This week we combine Alan's potato-themed blockbuster, a big Shrek, Tony Robinson, and an actual Geordie, whilst discussing bad graveside behaviour and Algarve camping, creating an episode that will tumble around your head like trainers in a washing machine and is not - repeat not - a bag of bits.

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We've adopted a power stance this week, but the optics are not good. With a deep dive on Katrina, Partridge politics and Will Smith all covered, you'd like to listen - and we've agreed to allow you to try.

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He's off to the BBC! Ahead of the return of Alan in his first TV series since Monkey Tennis began, we discuss what we know, what we suspect and what we're hoping for from all-new Alan. Who's back? Who's died? What's Lynn's involvement? Will there be cameos? Plus: We play Predict-a-Partridge and detail how we'll be bringing you extra This Time chat alongside the Beeb

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Stephen Mangan is our special guest as we round off the series (and year) live in London. We go behind the scenes on Partridge and talk being Dan Moody, who invented the sex festival, indecent proposals and Matt LeBlanc's willy grabbing. Plus: Green Wing, Episodes, Hang-Ups, Top Gear, Postman Pat and Stephen's secret prog-rock past. // If you've enjoyed the series, please subscribe + rate us where you can. Thanks for listening and we'll see you in 2019 for NEW PARTRIDGE!

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In this relaxingly regal episode, live from London, we cover on-air massage, Eamonn Holmes' lavish birthday and the Windows '95 noise, as well as royal syphilis, Alan's imaginary knighthood and Blue Peter badges. Plus: Edmonds, Barlow and Beverley Bacton. Do we find inner serenity? Are you f**king with me?!

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We're talking garden burials, gobblin' Goblin burgers, and Sidekick Simon's mammoth hangover in this week's Mid-Mor-Mat. As well as tackling shower wees, Angela's horny interlude and the Valentine Day (sic) gobble-off. Plus: Tom Stabb rents a digger, Adam insults some monks and Nick fumbles a quiz. Recorded live in Manchester!

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White leather, rough tongues, bald aggression and Nick's annual bath are all up for discussion this week as we head to Manchester! We also pit Angela against Sonja, and ask: Can keyboards be pets? Blackbird: Balladry or bellendry? What would the world be without Monkey Tennis? Better/It's complicated! Kick off your shoes, big gulp of juice, let's see what happens!

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We're back in Bristol, talking Anglian swagger, savaging Wild Swans and snacking on Chicken Drizzle Cake as we discuss Alan's 12 second wee, the redemption of Dave Clifton, engage in charity chat, and ask: Bernie Eccleston - Alan's hero?

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Recorded live in Bristol, this week we talk knighting Savile, cooking Farage and washing elephants as well as discussing dream dinner parties, Making a (Noel Edmonds) Murderer and Alan's erotic radioplay along the way. Plus: What would an ITV Partridge look like? Can Jesus go on YouTube? And what happens when you pit Carl, Lee and Barry against Tom, Dick and Harry?

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What ya doin'? Who's with ya? We return to our mailbag to tackle haphazard rankings, more Partridge Monopoly and a litany of our own gaffes, in an episode so good it makes Tom Dark forget his own name. Plus: A new quiz that I think we can all agree comes to a professional and sensible conclusion...

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We're back, carefully opening the drawer marked 'your feedback', then saying 'Bloody hell': Chocolate replicas, experiencing Alan live, (Bride of) Chucky Egg and Alan vs. Noel. Also: Why is Partridge like the Beatles? Is Alan genuinely protective of Lynn? Is Sidekick Simon the inspiration behind Denton Abbey? How could we get it so wrong on Alan's canine companions?

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Hey Gurl! Imagine if you played an episode of Monkey Tennis to King Henry VIII, it would blow his miiiiind.... Join us for another double dose of Alan analysis as we cosy up to the new lady in Alan's life and travel back in time (sort of) to learn about Seldom's unique diet. This week's episode may not complete you, but it'll certainly finish you off...

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Recorded live at London Comic Con, we tackle Alan's homage to his beloved hometown of Norwich, prompting us to talk obesity hotspots, Alan's 10 minute commute, the real Orbital Digital, leisure centre hygiene, Hitler and dogging. Apologies for the shonky sound this time around: we were made promises about recording quality that were not kept. Go careful now, my loves!

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SHOW LINKS

Welcome To The Places Of My Life

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We swerve into the 00s this week as we continue our peek at Alan's Comic Relief contributions featuring an irate Peter Kay, a handy Paddy McGuinness and a disturbed Simon Pegg. Also: We pit Bono, Sting and Geldof against one another, and discuss limp charity audiences, Alan's secret sister, where Philomena meets Partridge and Kay vs. Coogan worldwide, as well as asking: How handy is Michael?

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SHOW LINKS

Alan vs Peter Kay, Comic Relief 2001

Alan hosting, Comic Relief 2005

Alan interviews The Milky Bar Kid, Comic Relief 2005

Mid Morning Matters part 1, Comic Relief 2011

Mid Morning Matters part 2, Comic Relief 2011

Alan's voiceover, Comic Relief 2017

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We've gone up the BT Tower, down to Norfolk Park and back to the days of Teletext in order to explore some of Alan's many contributions to Comic Relief (including THAT Kate Bush medley). We start with his 90s appearances, prompting chat on Bryan Ferry, 'Bladakker' and Big Brother evictions. Plus: How did Right Said Fred happen? Is cack back? And where did Alan's Canadian wife Toni come from? (Canada, obviously). Let's go swimsuit!

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SHOW LINKS

Alan on Comic Relief in 1995

Alan on Comic Relief in 1999

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Simon's out and Zoe's in this week as we discuss Alan's chair slide, caller Samantha's 'fat arms', Nick's bootie love and the trouble with caller anonymity. We also ask the large questions: Has Alan ever finished a book? Are we mellowing in tandem with Alan? How does Mid Morning Matters stack up against Classic Partridge?

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Quease! Glands! Hamza! Palm piss! In this week's slightly manky episode we see what happens when Partridge goes Paxman, celebrate the return of capes and put Alan vs. the millionaire, ridiculous LinkedIn people and Alan's earnings under the microscope. We also play a quiz which is conducted entirely fairly and we all definitely agree is just a bit of fun.

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It's Alan on Alan on art on art on ancestry on ancestry on air rifles on air rifles this week. Other hot topics: Simon's weed habit, Chucky Egg (the meal of the north), the real Seal and - the return of JembAlan? Plus there's the small matter of 'a sidekick's betrayal'

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We welcome all FOP (Fans of Partridge) as we dive into Alan's Twitter track record, bad callers and the MMM timespan. We also look into Alan's healthy anus (figuratively), the dark core of his callers, discuss the folk stylings of Will O'The Wisp and try to answer the question "What's the best thing?"

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How funny IS Sidekick Simon? Why film in just a couple of rooms? Did Herbie really go bananas? Just a few questions answered this week. In addition, expect Billie Piper facts 'coming out the wazoo', and we talk hometown heroes, fowl play and the curse of 'Tottenham Cartoon'. Plus: We play Alan's Surname Mastermind and Fakenham or Realenham. Ooh, that's mustard.

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We respond to more feedback and answer some pressing questions this week: Who's the villain of the Partridgeverse? Does Alan have a secret third child? What's the worst thing you've done at a funeral? We also discuss the recent documentary, talk Fosters vs. Coogan, and carry out more wild speculation about the new show.

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We're back with a rifle through your feedback! We talk Social Medialan, have a Simon Greenall post-mortem, consider Winton's wedding, expose grave inconsistencies, learn what Jed Maxwell is up to now, and own up to our many balls-ups. Also: Tom Stabb gets to grips with baby brain, whilst Nick attempts to explain his baffling poll system...

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This week, we talk trump containment, road test building society rhymes and Producer Jed reviews Chernobyl. Plus: Alan's chin tuck, Nick's Tyneham trivia, some light Guardian-bashing and some onomatapoedantry. We're just some men on a podcast, go away please!

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A very special guest arrives just in time for the last in the current series - Mr Simon Greenall lifts the lid on the formation and (alleged) demise of Michael the Geordie, how Partridge gets made, and the best bits that never made it to air. But first, there was the small matter of Admiral Nelson to discuss...

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We conclude our visit to 1995's Alan Xmas special Knowing Me Knowing Yule with a 100 cracker pull, Fanny Thomas innuendo watch, a mystery bird, a healthy dose of Hucknall and a look into former golfer Gordon Herron's head (No - that's private).

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Part one of our LIVE festive lookback at Knowing Me Knowing Yule sees us talking choir shame, Noel's House Party hell and Norwich stag dos - all in front of a live audience at London's Prince Charles Cinema. Part 2 (also available now) continues the chat!

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This week we make our first foray into Mid Morning Matters, in front of an intimate live audience at Warner Music HQ; as part of their comedy events series. Sadly Adam didn't make it past Chiswick Roundabout for this recording, so you're left in the capable hands of Tom, Tom and Nick.

We try to answer the big questions - but don't necessarily succeed - including: why was Anthea Turner the most hated woman in Britain? Is Bill Oddie actually okay? Is radio beamed down from space? And, most disturbingly, which muppets are we going to kill? This is great banter. It really is. 

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We get legally worried in this absolute groin-wrecker of an episode (and we're not talking about Wally Banter's Junk Box) as we discuss motivational course/panto Forward Solutions, Mid Morning Matters (only the show that Daily Daytime Debate could've been) and the link betwixt Alan, Oasis, and milk. Plus: How to hide redundancies, Sidekick Simon's forced alcoholism, Alan's "2% effect" and our final thoughts on I, Partridge.

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The serious affliction of chocolate addiction dominates the chat this week as we crunch Toblerone numbers, kill a blackbird with a Smartie and Jed eats a Kinder egg. Also covered: Alan's pony trekking, the Sonja breakup, phone poops, Flexigrief, Bouncing Back's astounding facts and ‘chintz and tat emporium’ Bidup.TV

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Alan’s freelance years go under the microscope this week as we take on his never-made cop show Swallow, barely-watched game show Skirmish and sadly-made corporate videos. Plus: His almost-manager Pete Gabbitas, forgotten safewords, missing chapters and newfound bigness. You can come and listen ANYTIME you like. This episode is dedicated to the memory of Stacey Morgan, 7.

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Nipple inconsistencies and humane monkey destruction collide this week as we look at the infamous Tony Hayers meeting from Alan’s point of view. We also touch on diary violations, Alan’s unheard show pitch, ‘weird rooms’ and Tom Stabb’s French adventure. Not for you? Tits to all that - I’m sure we can sort something out.

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It all begins to crumble in this episode, as KMKY goes down the pan, Forbes MacAllister goes to the grave, and Alan's wife goes to the gym (for more than cardio). Also coming up: Nugget reviews, Alan's diaries, gaping dressing gowns, and a round of Partridge vs. Edmonds. // Our live show's had a venue upgrade! Join us Nov 22nd in the main auditorium, Prince Charles Cinema, Leicester Square: postpoppodcasts.com/monkeytennislive

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It's our sexiest episode yet as we cover debauched Tokyo nights, sex scandals and erotic fan fiction - until we spoil it by tackling cheeses, nasality and petrol stations. Also: Gunnell! Winton! Lynham! Akabusi! Touch the Truck, Nando's sauces, whether Alan is the devil and Peartree Productions: Origins. That's millions!

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We're ticking off our bucket list this week as Alan gets stuck in a hole: 1) Discuss superpowers 2) Analyse Alan & Ronald's 'friendship' 3) Lose our minds over sandwiches 4) Get Producer Jed to review Rumpelstiltskin. Tick tick tick tick and boom!

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If you like what we do you can give us a star rating / review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, star the episode in Overcast, tell a friend, share an episode on your socials... the choice is yours!

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We chat teabags, desk audits and only children as we survey Alan's move into 'success' (hospital radio > Radio 4) and 'love' (Carol). Plus: A game of 'Partridge Amongst the Pixels' originally broadcast live on Facebook. Is kicking a pig 'in self defence' the worst thing Alan's ever done? Is asking for 'loads of salary' a good interview technique? And who or what is Gus Honeybun?

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Starting our deep dive into I, Partridge, we tackle the first 4 chapters as Alan discusses childhood bullies and parental neglect, and we choose not to believe him. Also, we chat book sales, significant trees, 'b*llock-naked' ladies and are introduced to Rory Drunk. // We're live in London this November: postpoppodcasts.com/monkeytennislive

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Crisp wars! Angry editors! Denton Abbey under threat! In the concluding part of our Scissored Isle double header, we head down a Radio Times rabbit hole, get tied in knots trying to organise a Twitter poll, and consider where this special sits amongst Alan's endeavours. // We're live in London on Nov 22nd! Tickets: postpoppodcasts.com/monkeytennislive

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Coming to you live from MCM Comic Con in Manchester, Adam, Nick, Tom and Tom (plus Jed) scrutinise Alan's road to redemption in part 1 of our Scissored Isle special, discussing 'Tesco lifer' Pat Bevan, our supermarket/factory pasts and Lynn's grasp of YouTube comments, as well as deciding whether we'd eat a condom full of grapes or not. // Join us live in London on Nov 22nd (NOT 25th as we say in this episode). Tix: postpoppodcasts.com/monkeytennislive

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We’ve bounced back and we’re ready to take a look over the best of your emails, tweets, and Facebook messages from the last few months. This sees us tackling some seriously large questions: What would Alan's wrestling finisher move be? How much would a ladyboy chaser cost in 2017? What will the new Alan show in 2018 be like? Along the way we also clarify our Clives (was it Anderson? Was it James?), reveal how you can now play Cards Against Alanity at your leisure, and launch our new Alan location mapping initiative: A Partridge Over Britain. Don't forget, we're hitting the stage at the Prince Charles Cinema on 22nd November for our Knowing Me Knowing Yule live show, featuring Simon 'Michael the Geordie' Greenall.

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Team Monkey Tennis return for a mini episode, packed with good news and announcements, including: a new live show in Manchester this July, wild speculation about Partridge's forthcoming return to the BBC, and what to expect from us over the rest of the year.

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...and on that bombshell, we end the current series with a look at Glen's love life, Alan's successors (diddldee dit-dedee) and of course, THAT fatal shooting. We also make a few visits to the FactCave, dissect Joe Beesley's failed joke and reveal which of the team is also known as 'Anal Chlorides'. As well as that we also.... um... ooh Cheeky Monkey, he's made us forget!

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In this head-slapping, pen-stacking, fact-packing episode, we discuss our favourite car-crash interviews, how to deal with a dead guest, Alan's attempts to fix the Miss Norwich contest, the 'return' of 'Susan', and Partridge's political panel. Plus, we lift the cover on Stabb's Big Book of Babes and there's another chance to catch a round of Partridge Amongst The Pixels (originally broadcast live on Facebook).

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Nick, Tom, Tom and Adam's Philosophical Steakhouse is open for business as we say bienvenue to Bernie Inns, rabies facts and Alan's styles. We also reveal the 'Boss of Beef', zoom in on Alan's blazer badge, discuss Glen's sacking and Tom Stabb's deodorant woes whilst sharing intel from an KMKYWAP insider.

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Crack open a Sprünt and join us as we link Alan (or is it Alec?), hairy backs, Lou Bega, fake signatures, 'Mrs Winkle' and the 1936 Olympics. Plus: we discuss Alan and Glen's crumbling relationship, the fate of Sherlock Holmes the Victorian dog and the disappointment of Alan's Big Pocket. Take a chance on us (take a chance, take-take a ch-chance).

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Running late but sounding great, we dive into the second series of '...Oasthouse', discussing Alan's maudlin moments, Pat Farrell's lenient sentencing, and Daniel Bedingfield's Freddie Mercury. Plus: Did Partridge write a porno?

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This week we investigate Tony La Mesmer's Daggers of Damazon, Alan's lack of prep, his dog's fear of sex and his doomed 'new regular features'. Plus: Minnie Driver! Spider hair! Noel Edmonds! Failed urine pouches!

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There's SO much to discuss as we dive into Knowing Me Knowing You: Horse poo logistics. Alan vs Keith. Chalet facts. Doon's dubbing. Glen's mezzanine. Female drummers. Roger Moore's traffic jam. We also (Glen) ponder how it ever got commissioned and have a Rebecca Front love-in along the way. Plus we tackle all of these large questions: How many people watch Alan's show? What links Alan, Buffy and the Olivier awards? What's the show's Finnish name? Who is Gene Michael Jar?

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Where did Alan get his name? Who 'made' Alan? Why is he obsessed with cleanliness (and groin injuries)? We go back to the start, to look at Alan's early broadcasts, unravelling the mystery of his (un)dead wife, playing a very horsey quiz and announcing our new live show along the way.

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