Ep 33: A Season Finale Reflection – Growth, Grief, and Finding My Anchor
Épisode 33
samedi 16 novembre 2024 • Durée 25:52
When my father passed away, it felt like losing a lifeline to my Japanese heritage. Navigating the grief and identity crisis that followed, I dreamt up Mixunderstood as a way to reconnect and heal. This season finale is a heartfelt reflection on how this podcast became a sanctuary in my journey of personal growth, even as I faced burnout, and the profound conversations that have shaped it, including an unforgettable exchange with Punita Khanna about our shared experiences with cancer in our families.
Creating Mixunderstood has been more than just a creative project; it's been a transformative experience that has encouraged me to embrace my mixed identity with newfound confidence. Inspired by our amazing guests and the vibrant community, I've started looking into learning Japanese and have even launched Fusion Friday, an educational social media series collaboration with Mixed Asian Media that celebrates mixed culture and identity. Through these efforts, I am building a language around the mixed-race experience and finding comfort in spaces that once felt foreign. As I wrap up this season, I hope to explore even more themes like mental health and racial imposter syndrome in the future.
Massive thank you to all of our guests and contributors to Season 2!!
Thank you to YOU wonderful listeners!
Your support has been integral to this journey, and I’m deeply grateful for every message and contribution. This episode is dedicated to my father.
Thank you for being part of Mixunderstood.
Let's continue this exploration together.
Chapters
(00:00) - Reflecting on Season Two
(04:53) - Discovering Identity Through Podcasting
(13:58) - Embracing Mixed Identity Through Conversation
EP 32: Timing, Tenacity, and Logistical Triumphs: Emi and Phil’s Intercultural Love Story
Épisode 32
lundi 2 septembre 2024 • Durée 54:25
In this episode, we explore the remarkable story of Emi and Philip, a multicultural couple whose relationship has spanned continents and navigated countless challenges. Meeting in the U.S. in the early 2000s—before the convenience of Zoom calls and smartphones—Emi, who is Japanese, and Philip, who is English/Australian, embarked on a long-distance relationship that tested their resolve, patience, and commitment.
Their journey takes us through the logistical and bureaucratic hurdles of maintaining a relationship across oceans, navigating time differences, visa issues, learning each other's languages and accents, and staying flexible around constant career changes.
Their focus on "making it work" and staying attuned to each other's needs is inspiring and encouraging for anyone who might be currently in a long-distance relationship.
But this episode isn’t just about the logistical challenges. At its heart, it’s about two individuals searching for that elusive place where they can both fully be themselves. Through sacrifices, cultural and familial expectations, and the ever-present struggle of belonging, they continued to seek a home where their identities and experiences could be fully embraced.
Join us as we uncover the emotional and cultural complexities of their journey, filled with moments of humor, frustration, and ultimately, a breakthrough in finding a place where they both could thrive.
In This Episode, We Talk About:
The challenges of navigating long-distance relationships with limited technology.
Overcoming cultural and familial expectations to be together.
The impact of living in different countries on their identities and relationship.
The struggles of finding work and fitting into new societies as immigrants.
The journey of finding a place where they both can be fully themselves.
This is our last interview for Season 2. Next week, I’ll be sharing a final short episode with my personal reflections on this season, so make sure to listen in!
EP 31: Giving Up Your World to Join Your Mixed Family in Manzanar, with Tracy Slater
Épisode 31
jeudi 22 août 2024 • Durée 44:31
What would you do to keep your family together during the most challenging times? In this episode, we’re discussing a story of sacrifice, resilience, and the lengths one woman went to in order to stay with her family. During World War II, more than 120,000 Japanese Americans were forcibly removed from their homes and incarcerated in camps across the United States. In the midst of this, one woman made an unthinkable choice. Elaine Buchman Yoneda, a Jewish American, voluntarily entered one of these camps, Manzanar, to stay with her Japanese American husband Karl and their three-year-old son Tommy.
In this episode, I’m joined over Zoom by author Tracy Slater, currently in Canada, to discuss Elaine Yoneda's remarkable journey, explored in Tracy’s upcoming book, preliminarily titled Nine Months in Manzanar, set for release in 2025 by Chicago Review Press.
Discover how Tracy uncovered this untold story and learn about the totem that guided her through the writing process. We delve into the split-second decisions Elaine faced, not only concerning her son Tommy but also other critical choices.
We touch on the broader implications for interracial families under the shifting “mixed blood” policy and examine the political views and personal responses to the trauma experienced by those in Manzanar, including how these tensions affected Elaine, Tommy, and others.
The conversation also covers Carl’s unique identity and feelings toward Japan, the complexities and contradictions in the lives of the Yoneda family, and the importance of acknowledging human contradictions in both personal identities and society.
This episode offers a thought-provoking discussion, shedding light on overlooked aspects of American history and the importance of understanding our collective past.
Guest:
Tracy Slater – Author of the upcoming book, preliminarily titled Nine Months in Manzanar (2025), and previously, The Good Shufu: Finding Love, Self, and Home on the Far Side of the World.
EP 30: Taking or Leaving Cultural Clichés: Nacho and Tina's Intercultural Love Story
Épisode 30
vendredi 16 août 2024 • Durée 52:30
In today's episode, we dive into the fascinating journey of Tina and Nacho, a couple whose whirlwind romance began on Tinder in Miami and has taken them across continents to settle in Buenos Aires. Their story is one of adaptability, resilience, and navigating cultural clichés as they merge their lives together.
Join us as we explore what it’s like to be in a long-distance international relationship and the realities of moving to a new country for your partner. Tina, from Germany, and Nacho, from Argentina, have faced numerous logistical challenges, from living in shared spaces in Miami to transitioning to Tina's childhood home in Germany, before embarking on an adventure in a cozy camper van and finally settling in the vibrant city of Buenos Aires.
We kick off with three fun facts:
Tina's quirky relationship with wobbly foods, Nacho's confession about soccer, and what they adopted into their relationship during their year and a half of traveling across Europe in a camper van. Then, we delve into their decision to get married after seeing each other only four times, exploring how their family and friends reacted and their differing accounts of whether Nacho proposed.
As we transition to their practical life in Buenos Aires, Tina and Nacho share the humorous and eye-opening experience of navigating healthcare with Tina's improving Spanish and Nacho's assistance. This leads us to a discussion about cultural differences and navigating clichés, examining how they've managed to maintain a sense of normalcy amid the challenges of adapting to a new culture.
We explore the initial struggles and misunderstandings due to differing cultural expectations, particularly around timeliness and expressions of affection, and how these experiences have influenced their relationship and perspectives on their home countries and identities.
Tune in as we discuss closing the gap of long distance, making a relationship work across countries, and the realities of moving to a foreign land for - Amor!
Follow Tina and Nacho:
Social Media: @internationallovestory
EP 29: From Boston Academic to Japanese Housewife: How Intercultural Love Transformed Tracy Slater’s Life
Épisode 29
vendredi 16 août 2024 • Durée 52:33
Ever wondered how a fiercely independent academic from Boston could end up embracing the traditional role of a Japanese housewife? Tracy Slater, acclaimed author of The Good Shufu: Finding Love, Self, and Home on the Far Side of the World, joins us to unravel her incredible journey. From teaching in men's prisons to becoming a shufu in Japan, Tracy's story is one of transformation, self-discovery, and unexpected love.
In this episode, we explore how Tracy navigated the logistics of moving to Japan, adapting to a new culture, and balancing her career shift with the demands of a new lifestyle. Tracy shares her experiences of culture shock, her willingness to let life shape her path, and the adjustments she made to embrace new roles and responsibilities.
Discover how Tracy and her husband, Toru, balanced their different cultural backgrounds and overcame the challenges of living between two countries. We dive into the emotional and practical aspects of her journey, including caring for her terminally ill father-in-law, her efforts to conceive a child, and the impact of these experiences on her sense of self.
Tracy’s memoir captures the irony and profundity of her mid-40s transformation, offering insights into intercultural marriages and the subtleties of non-homogeneous social relationships. She shares heartwarming and humorous anecdotes about adapting to her new life, including a memorable story from her first week in Japan.
Join us for a deeper understanding of how culture shapes relationships and provides valuable lessons for anyone navigating mixed identities or intercultural marriages. Stay tuned for future discussions on Tracy's upcoming book about mixed families in America's World War II concentration camps.
The Good Shufu: Finding Love, Self, and Home on the Far Side of the World
EP 28: A Mother’s Love: Punita Khanna on Giving Her Mixed-Race Son Options and Exposure
Épisode 28
mardi 30 juillet 2024 • Durée 59:56
In this episode, we sit down with Punita Khanna, a first-generation Indian Punjabi immigrant and co-author of Mixed Daisies: Stories of Multiracial South Asians. As the mother of Rahul, featured in Episode 27, Punita reflects on her journey of raising a mixed-race child in a context where such families were relatively rare.
Punita shares her experiences of feeling like an outsider—facing discrimination as a brown person in the United States and struggling with acceptance in India. Despite these challenges, her unwavering dedication to providing Rahul with the best opportunities, resources, and community support shines through.
Being the first mixed child on both sides of their families, Punita discusses the dynamics of raising a mixed-race child in a predominantly white society, including recognizing her husband John’s white privilege and the contrasting parenting styles between her Indian heritage and his more relaxed American approach.
Punita also reflects on marrying and having a child later in life, her efforts to expose Rahul to various cultures and religions, and giving him the freedom to choose his own path. She shares her journey as a breast cancer survivor and passionate advocate for breast cancer awareness within the South Asian community. Her story highlights the importance of early detection, the challenges of dealing with a lack of representation in healthcare narratives, and her decision to shield Rahul from the emotional burden of her illness.
Ultimately, this episode is a monoracial South Asian mother’s love letter to her mixed-race son. It sheds light on the many overlaps between their journeys as they find acceptance, build community, and cultivate resources and spaces for mixed families and individuals.
Punita and Rahul’s Book! Mixed Dasis: Stories Of Multiracial South Asians
EP 27: From Teen Identity Struggles to Empowering Mixed Youth with Rahul Yates
Épisode 27
mardi 23 juillet 2024 • Durée 01:12:56
In this episode, we sit down with Rahul Arjun John Yates, founder of HumSub Global Teen and co-creator of Mixed-Desis: Stories of Multi-racial South Asians as he opens up about his unique journey as a multiracial teen in Los Angeles. Growing up with an Indian Punjabi mother and a White father, Rahul navigated the complexities of multicultural identity, which eventually led to the creation of a global platform supporting mixed-race youth.
Listen as Rahul shares heartfelt stories of feeling more connected to his Indian heritage through dance and poignant moments of questioning his identity, offering a relatable perspective for anyone grappling with the intricacies of mixed heritage. The conversation takes a deep dive into Rahul's efforts to celebrate both sides of his cultural background, highlighting the internal conflicts and external challenges he faced. Hear about the amusing tale of his 19-year-old cat Shah Rukh, and how Rahul's work in India through a Harvard program has strengthened his connection to his roots.
This episode explores phases of Rahul’s life where he felt "not Indian enough," and how these experiences have shaped his mission to foster a supportive community for multiracial youth through HumSub Global Teen. In a candid discussion, Rahul recounts the creation of a platform during the pandemic, which has since become a vital space for mixed-race teens. He emphasizes the importance of parental support, especially from his mother, and shares the rewarding journey of writing Mixed Desis.
Rahul’s story is not just about embracing a mixed identity but also about providing resources and inspiration for others on similar paths. Tune in for an episode filled with empathy, empowerment, and insightful guidance on navigating the complexities of multicultural identity.
EP 26: Live from the Free to Be Fest: Celebrating Mixed Identity!
Épisode 26
mardi 16 juillet 2024 • Durée 55:05
We are taking a little side chat, a break from our season's theme of mixed relationships and family dynamics, because guess what? Mixunderstood and yours truly, Hanna-Lee, went to our first event for mixed people!
This episode is a bit different from our usual format. I had the incredible opportunity to attend the Free to Be Fest, a celebration of the mixed experience, right here in downtown LA.
The Free to Be Fest is an amazing event that showcases the richness of mixed identity and belonging. This year, it featured two short films and a TV pilot, all centered around the theme of mixed identity and belonging. I was fortunate enough to interview some of the attendees, including mixed individuals and allies, capturing their stories, insights, and thoughts on what it means to be mixed in today's world.
I recorded this episode on an outdoor rooftop in the heart of downtown LA, so you might hear some background noise from the event and the occasional siren. Please bear with me, as the conversations I had are truly worth it.
A special shoutout to Dr. Jenn, the brilliant mind behind this festival and a former guest on the podcast (check out Episode 20). Her passion and dedication to celebrating mixed identity made this event possible.
Interviewees:
Maris Lidaka - @marislidaka Founder of @blendedfutureproject
EP 25: Maria Fernanda's Unwavering Search to Reunite with Her First Mom (Part 2)
Épisode 25
mardi 9 juillet 2024 • Durée 53:23
In part 1, we explored what it was like for Maria Fernanda growing up as a mixed-race transracial adoptee. We delved into the emotional complexities of birthdays as an adoptee, what it was like growing up with white parents, and being in an interracial relationship and getting pregnant unexpectedly. Becoming a young mom was a turning point for Maria Fernanda, who says it was the moment of “coming out of the fog” when she started to want answers and began the arduous journey of searching for her “First mother.”
Now, in part 2, we delve deeper into the emotional and challenging journey of uncovering adoption records that seemed almost impossible to access. Our exploration follows the relentless efforts to contact consulates, embassies, and a now-defunct adoption agency, leading to a surprising breakthrough. This realization highlights the systemic barriers many adoptees face when seeking answers, underscoring the ongoing struggles within the adoption process. Join us as we continue Maria's story of resilience, determination, and the importance of community and support.
Maria Fernanda’s emotional journey of searching for biological family members:
Efforts to find her mother and brother through online messages and social media.
Maria Fernanda’s first hand experience with a scam and the Importance of caution to avoid scams.
Maria Ferdanda’s determination and resilience in navigating the complexities of searching for one's roots amidst a global pandemic. The Detective work she did to find clues and put the pieces of info together. Inspired by the movie "Lion," using Google Earth to investigate further.
Initial dead ends and emotional highs and lows in the pursuit.
How she finally was able to be connected with her first mother after decades of separation and begin the reunion process.
The Immediate and profound connection despite language barriers as well as the challenges of communication through a translator.
Mix of joy and pain in such reunions, impact of past trauma.
Delays in in-person meeting due to the global pandemic.
Maria Fernanda’s first trip back to Quito with her family to meet her birth family.
Challenges faced by adoptees, particularly from Latin America, in navigating identity and reunions with biological families.
EP 24: Resilience Redefined: Maria Fernanda's Transracial Adoption Experience (Part 1)
Épisode 24
mardi 2 juillet 2024 • Durée 43:03
How does a transracial adoptee navigate the intricate tapestry of identity, culture, and belonging? Join us as Maria Fernanda, a passionate advocate and voice for adoptees, shares her heart-wrenching yet empowering journey from Quito, Ecuador, to her adoptive home in the United States. Maria's story is one of resilience and determination, as she unveils the emotional complexities of birthdays as an adoptee, the painstaking process of uncovering adoption records, and the profound impact of reclaiming her identity and reconnecting with her birth family.
Maria discusses her transformative work in co-creating Adoptees of Latin America plus Extended Latin Americas and Guia Nova, emphasizing the significance of community and support for those navigating similar paths. She opens up about the challenges of growing up in a family of a different race, the emotional nuances of international adoption, and the intense moments of "coming out of the fog" to face the realities of her past. Her journey is marked by poignant reunions with her birth mother, navigating medical documentation as an adoptee, and the emotional roller coaster of finding her biological family amidst a global pandemic.
This episode is a testament to the importance of keeping adoptees' voices central in adoption conversations, highlighting the critical need for empathy, understanding, and trauma-informed care.
This episode marks the first of a two-part series.
Show notes:
When Maria Fernanda found out she didn't really know her birthday
We talk about the mix of feelings that come up around birthdays, especially for someone like Maria who was adopted.
The privilege of having access to personal documents in the Adoptee community
Maria Fernand’s adoptive family dynamics
Mari Fernanda challenge the "savior" narrative often associated with adoptive parents, emphasizing the importance of recognizing the birth families' circumstances and humanity
The importance of centering the voices of adoptees and their first families, rather than solely highlighting the adoptive parents' actions.
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The ongoing challenges around being an adoptee. Her personal experience of proving citizenship for a child's college application, highlighting bureaucratic hurdles.
Maria Fernanda’s Creation of Adoptees of Latin America plus Extended Latin Americas and the Guia Nova mentoring program.
Need for supportive communities that understand the unique grief and joy adoptees experience.
The mental health impacts of adoption and importance of trauma-informed care and supportive networks.
The role of community in acknowledging and processing trauma and loss, ensuring adoptees can thrive.
The complexities of growing up as a mixed-race adoptee in a predominantly white environment.
Growing up as a mixed-race adoptee in a mostly white environment comes with its own set of challenges. A racist encounter Maria had outside her dance class is just one example
The diverse experiences within the same household, highlighting how each adoptee's journey is unique.
Maria Fernanda’s moment of "coming out of the fog” as she became a young mom.
The emotional and logistical challenges faced by adoptees in navigating medical and personal history documentation
The frustration of filling out forms at the OBGYN that lack an option for adoptees, highlighting the need for medical professionals to be more informed and empathetic.
