Explorez tous les épisodes du podcast Mindshifting

We can build true self-confidence from the inside out by cultivating self-acceptance. We undermine our sense of self-worth by trying to measure ourselves by external benchmarks and trying to cultivate self-esteem: how much money do we make, what is our position in the hierarchy, are we getting a lot of recognition and approval, and do we have more or less than those around us? This outcome orientation makes us worried about evaluation and potential failure, and so we are vulnerable to worry and psyching ourselves out, both in sports and in work. We can complement this by a process orientation, which is about how we are learning, getting better at our work and enjoying our activities. This approach helps us feel good about ourselves and the journey, and is the key to cultivating self-acceptance. We can’t control outcomes, but we can control how we focus on feelings, experience and process.

Self-esteem is vulnerable to outcomes we don’t control in four areas:

1. Stuff
2. Status & Approval
3. Accomplishment
4. Fantasy

Self-acceptance is solid and sustainable, and is based on four factors:

1. Alignment with our values and purpose
2. Self-compassion 
3. Self-regulation 
4. Opening to reality 

Experiment: We can replace Worrying with Planning, and free ourselves from unproductive and draining anxiety. 

Experiment: Getting into Flow—we can learn to ‘get in the zone’ and temporarily drop our focus on outcomes.  

Experiment: Befriending ourselves is the practice of supporting, trusting, taking care of and loving ourselves.

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The paradox is that we have free will but are in many ways creatures of habit. If we focus on it, we can consciously choose how we think, feel, and act. Yet much of our behavior is initiated unconsciously, automatically, and repetitively. In other words, it is a habit. We depend on habits to live. However, when our lives become too full of habits, we become less conscious and able to make choices.

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The first task in forming a team is to figure out where are you all going, in other words, to identify a shared goal. Leading the team is about managing the team’s attention so everyone is focused on how to support and achieve that goal. To do this you must clearly articulate the team’s direction and regularly communicate about the goal.

Experiment: Roles & Responsibilities Charting

A simple technique for accomplishing this is to create a roles and responsibilities chart.

Experiment: High Performing Team Survey 

This tool helps team members assess and then close gaps regarding how well the team is functioning on a number of dimensions:

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Relationships are the core of business. To be successful we not only need to be able to build individual relationships, but to make the mindshift to networking, which is building a broad network of relationships with teammates, customers, subordinates, peers, vendors, board members, community and government representatives. 

Experiment: Key Constituent Mapping

We can map out our key constituents and build a plan to invest in each relationship.

Experiment: Collecting 360 feedback 

Understanding others’ perspectives is key to building relationships and influencing.

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Working with emotions can be scary, and we are taught to suppress our feelings in order to work in organizations. We can learn the science of emotions in order to tap into their power. 

Emotional intelligence (or EI) is the ability to use the information in emotions to make decisions and reach goals. Because leadership involves working through others, it is not surprising that EI is more predictive of leadership success than IQ or personality characteristics.

These skills ​​underlie the MindShift from Self-Awareness to Interpersonal Awareness. Interpersonal awareness allows you to communicate, negotiate, and influence effectively, as well as build strong relationships and create effective teams.

Experiment: Understanding and Using Feelings

1. Labeling emotions and letting them shift
2. Using breathing and meditation to work with feelings
3. Moving from meaning to action--deciding what to do with your feelings
4. Practicing principles of assertive communication

Experiment: Empathy and Emotional Attunement

Using non-verbal cues to track and read emotions.

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Effective communication involves making the mindshift from exchanging information (Giving and receiving information) to communication (Creating a two-way dialogue with a wide constituent group about your organization’s activities). A dialogue is a creative process where we are open and do not have a preconceived idea of where we will go. Communication shares the same root as “communion.” Thus, at its core, communication is about connecting, sharing, and community. The heart of communication is caring about another person and making the intention to connect. 

Experiment: Mindful Dialogue 

Mindful Dialogue is speaking and listening with careful attention, and is based on two essential components: Deep Listening and Focused Speaking. The exercise involves 3 steps: preparing ourselves to listen, developing our self-awareness in the moment, and developing our message. I present principles for each of these steps.

Experiment: Listening with Beginner’s Mind

To listen with an open, beginner’s mind takes practice. It involves suspending our biases and preconceptions. 

Experiment: Speaker/Listening

In speaker/listener, two people practice listening to each other with the intention to go to the 4th level of listening. 

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We need challenge to learn and perform at our best. But when there is too much we get overwhelmed. Our fight or flight responses get activated, reducing our flexibility and ability to think clearly. Chronic stress wears down our bodies and leaves us vulnerable to a wide variety of mental and physical illnesses.  

We can become better at managing stress with a set of focused strategies. One key is our experience of autonomy and control over our lives and work. Another key is increasing our access to feedback. Mindfulness can unlock both of these keys. 

Experiment: Identifying Sources of Stress

We think of stress as coming at us from external pressures, but a lot of our stress comes from how we think about things. It can help to separate out where our stress is coming from and objectively label each source. 

The most important ways to work with stress, and to build your leadership skills, fall into six categories of Mindful Leadership — Spirit, Mind, Emotion, Body, Connecting, and Inspiring. I outline my Top 100 of favorite strategies for you to build a plan to increase your resilience. 

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Value is created by innovation and drives business. We can change our perspective to see new strategies and possibilities. The customer’s perspective is the most important because any innovation must serve a human need to be valuable. 

Experiment: Creative Problem-solving using Perspective Taking. 

Creative thinking strategies:

• Using symmetries (flipping problems on their head) 
• Channel changing (using different media and genres to see things with fresh eyes)
• Unlimited resources (going beyond realistic constraints)
• Playing (having fun creating new rules)
• Brainstorming (having teams generate ideas without judgment) 
• Self-hypnosis (letting our unconscious guide us)
• Team structure (creating a diverse team and providing them with a safe environment) 

Everyone can become more creative by challenging their self-definitions and self-limited assumptions. What are the factors in yourselves and your organization that get in the way of calculated risk-taking? 

Experiment: Learning to go into trance using self-hypnosis and visualization. I provide guidelines for you to go into a restorative and creative trance. 

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Everyone can learn to be more strategic and create a vision. This key skill enables you to align and mobilize your teams. I tell the story of a leader who learned to be more strategic by practicing the four Ps of strategic thinking:

• Peripheral search (scanning the environment)
• Percolating (creative reflection) 
• Participative Leadership (bringing others’ ideas in)
• Persuasion (getting others on board)

Strategic thinking depends on zooming out and widening your attention and making two MindShifts:

• Task Analysis to Market Analysis 
• Personal Accountability to Organizational Accountability 

Leaders need to make their vision actionable using tangible objectives and milestones. Your vision also needs to be connected to your purpose. This ensures your team will understand why you care about it and why they should get behind it. 

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When we align with our values and purpose we are more motivated, enjoy our work more and have a greater chance of success. When we align with our organization’s values and purpose we help it succeed. We can create meaningful ways to have employees reflect on their values and connect them with their organization’s purpose. These efforts can lead to as much as a 29% improvement in business results. This demonstrates the power of sincere reflection and alignment on an individual and organizational level. To create a meaningful values statement, organizations need to facilitate bottom up dialogues that include all employees. 

Experiment: Clarifying your values. Outlining and prioritizing your values enables you to align with them. 

Experiment: Envisioning purpose. What gives your life meaning and what do you want your legacy to be?

Experiment: Living our values. We can create organizations that live our values, and these are the organizations where we are inspired to work.

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As you go from Doer to Leader you need to change where you focus, what you value, and how you measure success. This is MindShifting. Once you are clear on what your job is, you can decide how you want to focus to do that job effectively.

You need to ask different questions as you define your priorities, and the 7 MindShifts helps you clarify these: 

1. Doing to Leading
2. Exchanging Information to Communicating
3. Relationship Building to Networking
4. Self-development to Coaching and Team Development
5. Personal Accountability to Organizational Accountability 
6. Task Analysis to Market Analysis 
7. Self-awareness to Interpersonal Awareness 

Experiment: The MindShifting Assessment helps you determine where you are on each of the seven dimensions and know where you want to focus your development as you go from Doer to Leader.

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You can learn to focus both inward and outward to build your leadership skills. Once you can focus, you can change your perspective using framing and multiple vantage points.

I review the following key concepts:

• Understanding politics in a positive light using perspective taking. 
• The positive and negative sides of habituation--tuning things out consciously and unconsciously. 
• The danger of being an expert and how to use ‘beginner’s mind’ to combat habituation. 
• The ‘one-down’ position to facilitate learning. 
• Challenging ourselves with new experiences to facilitate learning. 

Experiment: tiger eye meditation--meditating with your eyes open to develop your ability to focus both inward and outward.

Experiment: noticing different types of distractions and learning to manage them; creating gap time by taking a media holiday. 

Experiment: mindful reading--taking in ideas with curiosity and openness rather than judgment. 

Experiment: positive sensitization to open your mind and cultivate greater awareness.

Experiment: using ultradian rhythms to recharge and changing channels to refresh yourself on your body’s natural cycles.

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You can learn to focus your spotlight in three ways: scope, time and attitude. This enables you to pick up on cues inside you and around you. I explain the importance of self-acceptance and how it is different from passivity, complacency and self-indulgence. You can use focus to develop your self-awareness and find your blind spots. You can help your team focus by starting meetings with brief check-ins to clear the decks. I explain the difference between mindfulness and reflection, and where to use each. 

Experiment: programming mindful breathing to make it a habit and create a safety net for yourself. Reprogramming the stress response we get from notifications into a relaxation response.

Experiment: meditation--what is it and how to do it. How to deal with the problem of thinking while you meditate. Setting goals for your meditation and avoiding pitfalls. 

Experiment: walking meditation--how to meditate while you move. 

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Experience is a great teacher, but without reflection, guidance and support we can learn negative lessons. IQ doesn’t predict how well we will learn, but we can accelerate our ability to learn. I describe the problem of passive learning and how we can engage with new ideas so we internalize them.

Experiment: Learning how to learn using the four stage learning cycle: 

 • Activists like to jump in to new experiences

 • Reflectors step back and review events

 • Theorists make mental models and predictions

 • Pragmatists like to plan how to apply ideas

Experiment: Journaling to make reflection a habit using six-way reflection

 • Backward (what worked in the past)

 • Forward (where am I going?)

 • Inward (values and attitudes) 

 • Outward (intention vs. impact) 

 • Downward (the view from the balcony) 

 • Upward (using your imagination) 

Experiment: Forming a Personal Board of Directors with key advisors:

 • Thinking partners you value for their objectivity

 • Allies who will support you when you need it

 • Advocates who have a seat at the table 

 • Mentors and coaches who will give new perspectives

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I explain how reflecting helps us learn and make better decisions. We need to look at why we avoid it and the roadblocks to making it a habit. Reflecting doesn’t need to slow us down--it actually helps us get where we want faster. I offer ways to make reflection a habit and key questions to give yourself a structure for reflection. 

I explain how organizations can make reflection a habit: 

 • Decide what to stop doing

 • Clarify decision making processes

 • Ensure sufficient resources 

 • Take time outs from continual change 

 • Ask about the sources of failure 

 • Insist on learning from experiments 

 • Institute “after action reviews” 

Experiment: Career Reflection using focused questions: 

 • What made you take each job?

 • How did it fit your skills, interests, and motivators?

 • What values did it allow you to express?

 • What did you learn from each job?

 • What career goal were you pursuing at that time? 

 • What overall themes emerge?

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In this chapter you build the foundations of stopping, reflecting and focusing. I provide an introduction to mindfulness, its research basis and define it. I explain how to use mindfulness to quiet your mind and get biofeedback from your body. Mindfulness enables you to focus to learn and to learn how to learn. Mindfulness helps you reduce stress and gives you access to more information. I discuss the power of stopping the mind to sleep and review ways to establish good sleep habits.

I offer advice on how to make time to think:

 • How Einstein made time to think

 • How to get others to help you. 

 • Setting boundaries and managing distractions from technology

 • The ACT method to deal with interruptions

 • Dealing with restlessness and hyperactivity

 • The value of Not Doing and Not Thinking to reset your attention and recharge  

Experiment: Foundational mindful breathing exercise

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We face information overload and new demands coming at us from all directions. We can overcome the challenges of our frenetic modern life and work. I introduce mindful leadership and invite you to stop, reflect and focus. Doing this enables you to learn from the inside out. I explain the concept of Mindshifting--how to focus to do our jobs more effectively--and how we can learn to lead by focusing and paying attention to specific cues. I outline the book’s organization so you can use it to guide your development: key components are positive habits, managing technology and experiments to practice new skills. I explain the dangers of multitasking and the nature of attention, and provide the research basis for this approach to leadership. 

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