This podcast explores the complexities of male sexuality, examining how testosterone, modern influences like the internet, and the drive to procreate shape the lives of men. We air out the "dirty laundry" and bring skeletons out of the closet in real, unfiltered conversations about sex, pleasure, and vitality. As men openly share their journeys, their lives transform—and so can yours.
Tune in to break through old patterns, gain deeper insights, and reclaim your power.
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Email to be a guest: menandsexuality@gmail.com
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Données mises à jour le 02/10/2026
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Most men are performing in the bedroom instead of feeling.
And that performance pressure — the tension, the monitoring, the desperate need to get it right — is the very thing killing the turn on.
In this episode I sit down with Sapphire Leela — sex and relationship coach and therapist in training, working with men across Europe, Israel, and the UK — for a deep and honest conversation about what's actually happening when men struggle in the bedroom.
And here's the first thing she makes clear:
👉 It's never just about sex.
In this conversation we explore:
Why performance pressure creates tension — and how to move from tension into turn on
How a man's identity is tangled up in his sexuality — and what happens when that identity feels threatened
Why the cock is often experienced as a representation of the man himself
Why vulnerability is a turn on — and why being fully exposed takes more courage than most men realize
Why sensitive men are often afraid to break boundaries — and what that costs them
How to drop into the body and actually feel instead of think
Why we need a powerful, grounded voice to counteract the manosphere — one that tells men there is another way
The nervous system's role in sexual identity and finding the sweet spot
The bad boy question — why women are turned on by the bad boy, and what's actually happening beneath that attraction
The difference between activation and arousal — and why growing up around unstable masculine energy makes the familiar feel like desire
The dichotomy that changes everything: the macho man activates. The nice guy comforts. Neither alone is enough.
Why the sweet spot — the man who blends the grounded strength of the macho with the emotional availability of the nice guy — is what women are actually hungry for
That last point is worth sitting with.
The bad boy doesn't turn women on because he's bad.
He turns them on because he activates their nervous system — and activation gets confused with arousal.
But activation without safety isn't intimacy.
It's just familiarity dressed up as desire.
The man women actually want isn't the nice guy who abandons himself to please her.
And he isn't the macho man who uses dominance to avoid vulnerability.
He's the man who can hold both.
Strong enough to lead. Open enough to feel. Present enough to be fully there.
If this episode stirred something and you want to go deeper into identity, nervous system, and becoming the man who holds both strength and vulnerability — this is that space.
A community for men who are done performing and ready to actually feel.
#90 — The simple stepping stones for non ejaculatory orgasms
mercredi 9 septembre 2026 • Durée 52:24
What if the best sex of your life is still ahead of you?
Jim Benson is having the best sex of his life in his mid sixties.
Not despite his age.
Because of the practices he's spent twenty years developing and teaching to men.
In this episode I sit down with Jim Benson — founder of Awakened Masculine, certified Tantra teacher, and a man who has spent over two decades helping thousands of men overcome performance anxiety, sexual shame, and self-doubt through practical, embodied tools that actually work.
This conversation goes far beyond technique.
It's about fundamentally changing your relationship to pleasure, arousal, and what's actually possible in your body.
The foundation Jim keeps coming back to:
Presence.
Not as a concept. As a practice.
Most men are somewhere else during sex. In their head. Monitoring performance. Anticipating the finish line. Anywhere but actually here — feeling what's happening in their body right now.
And here's what Jim has discovered after twenty years of working with men:
👉 Pleasure and sensation are one of the most powerful presence practices available. Just like yoga. Just like meditation. But the focus is on what feels good — and learning to stay there.
The other thing that will change how you think about sex:
Your turn on is an electric rod.
You can learn all the techniques in the world. But the thing that will light your partner up the most is your own genuine relationship with arousal. Your own aliveness. Your own presence in the pleasure.
That's not something you perform.
It's something you cultivate.
#89 — What can we learn about women from a Male Escort?
lundi 31 août 2026 • Durée 44:17
Most men think women can get anything they want.
And in some ways — they're right.
But here's what most men don't know:
There are hundreds of women paying for male companionship in Australia right now.
Not because they can't find a man.
Because they can't find the right experience with one.
In this episode I sit down with George Goulburn — a professional male escort based in Australia where this work is fully legal — for one of the most fascinating and eye opening conversations I've had on this show about what women are actually looking for, what they're not finding, and what that means for every man who is dating or in a relationship.
George has spent hundreds of hours with women — listening to them, being present with them, understanding what they need. Not from a pickup artist playbook. Not from a dating coach script.
From direct, real, lived experience.
And what he's heard behind closed doors is something most men will never get access to.
👉 Women are not lacking options. They are lacking quality.
They are lacking presence. They are lacking men who actually listen. Men who lead without dominating. Men who make them feel seen, safe, and desired — all at the same time.
In this conversation we explore:
The truth about what women are paying for — and what it reveals about what's missing in modern dating
Why so many women feel like they can't find what they're looking for despite having endless options
What women consistently say they want from men — and what they're consistently not getting
The gaps most men are leaving that a conscious man can step right into
What real presence, attentiveness, and emotional availability actually look like in practice
Behind the scenes stories from hundreds of encounters with women across all walks of life
Dating tips and insights that go far deeper than technique or lines
#88 — Sperm Quality, Fertility & What Your Body Is Really Telling You
lundi 17 août 2026 • Durée 52:45
This episode is not just for men who want to have kids.
It's for every man who is sexually active.
Because here's something most men never think about:
Most babies are oops babies.
And if you're sexually active at all — the health of your sperm matters. Not just for whether you want children someday. But for what your sperm quality is telling you about your overall health right now.
In this episode I sit down with Gabriela Rosa — Harvard trained fertility specialist, founder and CEO of the Rosa Institute, and author of The Fertility Book — for one of the most eye opening conversations I've had on this show about men's health, vitality, and what's actually happening inside our bodies in the modern world.
Here's the number that stopped me cold:
👉 Sperm quality has decreased by 60% in the last fifty years.
60 percent. In half a century.
That is not a small shift. That is a crisis. And most men have no idea it's happening — let alone that it might be happening to them.
In this conversation we explore:
Why sperm quality is a vital sign — just like blood work — and what it reveals about overall health
The direct connection between fertility, cardiovascular health, and sexual function
Why a healthy body is a fertile body — and a fertile body is a healthy body
What has driven the 60% decrease in sperm quality over the last fifty years
How what we consume and what we come into contact with every day is either building or degrading our health
Why most pregnancies happen by accident — and why that means every sexually active man should be paying attention
The environmental, dietary, and lifestyle factors that are quietly impacting men's reproductive and overall health
What men can do right now to start improving their health markers across the board
Why this conversation goes far beyond fertility — and into what it means to be a vital, healthy man in the modern world
#87 — Why Aren't Couples Having Sex? (And What to Do About It)
jeudi 13 août 2026 • Durée 34:27
I asked a simple question on social media:
"Why didn't you have sex today?"
The comments exploded.
Men and women from all over — in relationships, in marriages, in situations they'd never talked about publicly — started sharing the real reasons sex keeps getting pushed to the back burner.
And what came up wasn't what most people expect.
It wasn't just busyness. It wasn't just kids or exhaustion or stress.
It was deeper than that.
Resentment that never got addressed. Touch that stopped feeling safe. Desire that quietly died while life kept moving. Two people sharing a bed who stopped truly connecting somewhere along the way — and neither one knew exactly when it happened.
In this episode I go through those comments — the real ones, from real people — and dive into what's actually keeping couples from having sex in their day to day lives.
Because this isn't a small problem.
Research consistently shows that sexual disconnection is one of the leading drivers of relationship dissatisfaction, emotional distance, and eventually — separation.
And yet most couples never have a direct conversation about it.
In this episode we explore:
The most common reasons couples stop having regular sex — and what's underneath each one
Why busyness is rarely the real reason
How resentment, unspoken needs, and emotional distance quietly kill desire
Why touch becomes loaded — and what it takes to make it feel safe again
The difference between a relationship that has hit a dry spell and one that is genuinely disconnected
What the research actually says about how often couples are having sex — and what that's costing them
How men and women experience sexual disconnection differently
What it takes to not end up there — and how to find your way back if you already are
#86 —The Sex Life You Actually Want Requires Internal Family Systems
jeudi 23 juillet 2026 • Durée 26:39
Most men think a better sex life comes from learning better techniques.
It doesn't.
The biggest thing standing between most men and a deeply satisfying intimate life isn't skill. It isn't stamina. It isn't knowing the right moves.
It's emotional intelligence.
Not having it is one of the biggest cock blockers there is.
And developing it? That's when everything changes — in the bedroom and everywhere else.
In this episode I break down one of the most powerful psychological frameworks I've come across for understanding why we do what we do, feel what we feel, and react the way we react in intimate moments:
Internal Family Systems — IFS.
The core idea is this:
You are not a single, unified "you."
You are a multiplicity. A system of parts — each with its own perspective, its own fears, and its own job to do. And until you understand those parts, they will keep running the show in your relationships, in your body, and in your bedroom — without you even realizing it.
The three core parts in IFS:
Managers — the parts that try to keep you safe by controlling everything before anything bad can happen. In the bedroom: the part that overthinks, monitors performance, stays locked in his head instead of feeling pleasure. The part that says don't get too vulnerable, don't want too much, stay in control.
Firefighters — the parts that react fast when pain or fear breaks through anyway. Impulsive. Extreme. In the bedroom: the part that checks out, goes numb, rushes to finish, reaches for porn, or disappears into fantasy to escape the discomfort of real intimacy.
Exiles — the wounded parts carrying the original pain. Shame. Rejection. The memory of being too much or not enough. These are the parts managers and firefighters are working so hard to protect. In the bedroom: the part that quietly believes
Most men are running on empty and calling it normal.
Low energy. Flat libido. Erections that aren't what they used to be. A body that feels like it's slowly powering down.
And the answer they're given is either a pill or "that's just aging."
Both are wrong.
In this episode I sit down with Kunal Chatkara — functional health coach specializing in hormones and bioenergetics — for one of the most practical and eye-opening conversations I've had on this show about what it actually takes to build a body that is vital, vigorous, and fully alive.
Because here's what most men don't understand:
👉 A healthy sex life isn't separate from a healthy life. It's a direct reflection of one.
When your testosterone is optimized. When your nitric oxide production is strong. When your cortisol is regulated and your sleep is deep and your cells are actually functioning the way they were designed to — you don't just have better erections.
You have a better life. In every area.
And the reverse is equally true.
What you do every single day is building — or depleting — the energy reserves that determine how you think, how you feel, how you show up, and yes, how you perform sexually.
In this conversation we explore:
Testosterone — what actually moves the needle and what's overhyped
HRT and peptides — when they make sense and what men need to know
Endothelial health, nitric oxide, and the direct connection to blood flow and erections
DHEA, cortisol, and how chronic stress is quietly destroying men's hormonal health
Why sleep is one of the most powerful testosterone optimization tools available
Progressive overload and how training directly impacts hormonal output
The supplement conversation — zinc with copper, magnesium glycinate, shilajit, maca, and what the evidence actually says
Working at the cellular level — bioenergetics and what's happening beneath the surface
#84 — Your Erections Are Trying to Tell You Something (with Dr. Elliot Justin)
mercredi 8 juillet 2026 • Durée 51:54
Most men are getting the wrong diagnosis.
Not because their doctor is incompetent.
Because the tools to get the right one haven't existed — until now.
In this episode I sit down with Dr. Elliot Justin — Emergency Medicine physician, Harvard and Boston University educated, serial healthcare entrepreneur, and founder of FirmTech — for a conversation that is going to change how you think about your body, your health, and what your erections are actually telling you.
Here's the reality most men don't know:
A man walks into a cardiologist with chest pain. He gets an EKG. Ultrasound. Bloodwork. A full picture of what's happening inside his cardiovascular system.
A man walks into a doctor with erectile symptoms.
He gets a pill.
No data. No investigation. No curiosity about what's actually going on.
That is a massive problem. Because erections aren't just about sex.
👉 They are one of the most accurate windows into a man's cardiovascular health available.
The frequency of your erections. The firmness. What's happening while you sleep. These are vital signs. And most men — and most doctors — are completely ignoring them.
Dr. Justin built FirmTech to change that.
FirmTech's TechRing is a wearable device that tracks nocturnal erections — the automatic erections men have while sleeping — measuring frequency, duration, and firmness. To date FirmTech has tracked over a quarter million erectile events, building a dataset that is reshaping how we understand men's sexual and cardiovascular health.
And what that data is revealing is this:
A lot of men who think they have erectile dysfunction — don't.
Their nighttime erections are healthy. Which means the issue isn't physical. It's psychological. Relational. Situational. Something that pills will never fix — and that no one ever bothered to investigate.
#83 — Releasing Shame and Guilt
lundi 29 juin 2026 • Durée 56:30
A lot of men today are walking around half dead.
Not physically.
But energetically.
Screens. Porn. Dopamine on demand. The slow numbing of a man who has forgotten what it feels like to be truly alive in his own body.
And underneath all of it — guilt. Shame. Anger turned inward.
A quiet war a man is fighting against himself.
That's where this conversation starts.
In this episode I sit down with Natalie — host of Tantra for the Soul on YouTube — after stumbling across one of her videos and immediately knowing she needed to be on this show.
Her work is simple and powerful:
Helping men release the guilt, shame, and self-directed anger that is keeping them disconnected from their own sexuality — and from themselves.
Because here's what most men don't realize:
👉 The shame isn't protecting you. It's draining you.
And the sexual energy you've been taught to suppress, medicate, or feel bad about?
That is some of the most powerful energy you have access to.
The question isn't how to get rid of it.
The question is how to transmute it.
In this conversation we explore:
Why releasing guilt and shame is the foundation of a healthy relationship with sexuality
How self-directed anger keeps men locked in disconnection
The difference between building connection with self vs. staying in disconnection
What it actually takes to stop numbing and start feeling
How screens and porn are creating a generation of energetically depleted men
What transmuting sexual energy into masculine power actually looks like
How sexuality — when worked with consciously — becomes one of the most potent forces a man has
#82 — Overstimulation, Pleasure & the Art of Feeling Again
lundi 22 juin 2026 • Durée 22:39
Most men have no idea how numb they've become.
Not emotionally. Not spiritually.
Physically. Sensationally
The ability to feel pleasure — real, subtle, satisfying pleasure — is quietly being destroyed. And the culprit isn't just porn.
It's everything.
Screens. Scrolling. Notifications. Content. Noise. Information flooding in through your eyes and ears every waking hour of every single day.
We have never in human history been this stimulated.
And our nervous systems are paying the price.
Here's what's actually happening:
The more stimulation your nervous system is exposed to, the more it needs just to feel anything. Like a drug addict who needs more and more of the same substance to get the same effect — your brain is adapting. Raising the threshold. Requiring more input to register the same response.
And that threshold is bleeding directly into your pleasure.
Your sex life. Your self-pleasure. Your ability to feel turned on by a real human body in a real intimate moment.
Most men today cannot get hard without porn or fantasy pumping arousal into their body.
Not because something is medically wrong with them.
Because their nervous system has been trained to require extreme stimulation just to feel something.
And then they wonder why real intimacy feels flat. Why they go soft. Why they finish too fast or can't finish at all. Why sex with a real person doesn't feel like enough.
It's not her. It's not you.
It's your nervous system running on empty after years of overstimulation.
In this episode we explore:
In this conversation we explore:
Why presence is the foundational tool for a better sex life — and how pleasure trains it
Why men struggle to slow down — and why slowing down is the key to everything
The dopamine problem — why high stimulation makes subtlety feel boring and how to recalibrate
How your own turn on and arousal directly impacts your partner's experience
What non-ejaculatory orgasms actually are — and why they're available to every man
Jim's three step process for becoming non-ejaculatory and multi-orgasmic:
What you can practice on your own vs. with a partner
How to genuinely hone your personal practices to show up better in the bedroom
Why Jim is having the best sex of his life in his mid sixties — and what that means for every man listening
This episode isn't about lasting longer as an end goal.
It's about expanding what's possible.
A sex life where orgasm isn't the finish line. Where pleasure isn't localized to one place. Where your body becomes a full instrument of sensation, presence, and connection.
That's what Jim has spent twenty years helping men build.
And it's available to you.
🎧 Listen to Episode 90 now and begin expanding what you thought was possible.
If this episode opened something up and you want to go deeper into embodiment, presence, and practices that actually transform your sex life — this is that space.
A community for men who are done settling for ordinary and ready to discover what's actually possible in their bodies.
How to genuinely stand out as a man in a world full of men who are checked out
What women are really saying when they pay for an experience — and what every man can learn from it
This episode isn't about becoming a male escort.
It's about understanding women at a level most men never bother to reach.
Because the man who understands what women actually need — not what dating culture tells him they want — is the man who stands out without even trying.
🎧 Listen to Episode 89 now and hear what women are saying when they think no man is listening.
If this episode sparked something and you want to go deeper into what it means to show up as a man that women genuinely want to be with — this is that space.
A community for men who are done guessing what women want and ready to become the kind of man who doesn't have to.
Want the YouTube write-up, email blast, or Instagram caption for this one?
This episode is a wake up call.
Not to create fear.
But to create awareness.
Because the truth is — your body is already keeping score. Your sperm quality, your cardiovascular health, your sexual function — they are all connected. They are all telling the same story.
If this episode opened your eyes and you want to be surrounded by men who are taking their health, their vitality, and their bodies seriously — this is that space.
A community for men who are done ignoring the signals their body is sending and ready to build something that lasts.
Why the conversation about sex is more important than the sex itself
This episode isn't about blame.
It isn't about making anyone wrong for where they are.
It's about bringing one of the most avoided conversations in relationships into the light — because the couples who talk about it are the ones who stay connected.
And the ones who don't?
They wake up one day and wonder what happened.
The question isn't just why you didn't have sex today.
👉 The question is — what are you building toward together?
🎧 Listen to Episode 87 now and start the conversation.
Join the Men's Sexual Confidence Community
If this episode hit close to home and you want to be in conversation with men who are actively working on their relationships, their intimacy, and their connection — this is that space.
A community for men who are done drifting and ready to build something real.
I'm not good enough. I'll be rejected. Something is wrong with me.
How this connects to performance anxiety:
Performance anxiety isn't a sex problem.
It's a parts problem.
A manager trying to control the outcome. A firefighter ready to shut the whole thing down the moment it gets uncomfortable. An exile underneath it all carrying a wound that was never looked at.
Until a man gets curious about those parts — instead of fighting them or being hijacked by them — the anxiety doesn't go away.
It just finds new ways to show up.
This episode goes far deeper than technique.
It's about building the kind of self-awareness, presence, and emotional intelligence that makes real intimacy possible.
Because the sex life most men want?
It starts inside.
🎧 Listen now and begin getting curious about what's actually running the show.
Want to go deeper into parts work?
I've put together a playlist of my favorite parts work videos to help you explore this further:👉 https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNr3Bu5Rb3LbbulZJmL6lATkWB5icMqyH&si=dfTRQd_L4T0gFlqD
Join the Men's Sexual Confidence Community
If this episode opened something up and you want to go deeper with men who are doing real inner work — this is that space.
A community for men who are building emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and a sex life that actually fulfills them.
If this episode fired something up and you want to be surrounded by men who are actively optimizing their health, their energy, and their sexual vitality — this is that space.
A community for men who are done running on empty and ready to build something that lasts.
Why erections are one of the most important cardiovascular vital signs a man has
The difference between erectile dysfunction and erectile disappointment — and why that distinction changes everything
Why the virility industry is worth billions and still leaving most men without real answers
What nocturnal erection data actually reveals about blood flow, vascular health, and overall wellbeing
How FirmTech's TechRing works and what men are discovering about themselves
Why so many men are treating a psychological or relational issue with a physical solution
What a real standard of care for men's sexual health should actually look like
Why the data says this is not just an older man's issue
This episode isn't just for men experiencing symptoms.
It's for every man who wants to understand what his body is already trying to tell him.
Because your erections aren't just about pleasure.
They're about whether your heart is going to keep beating.
🎧 Listen to Episode 84 now.
Join the Men's Sexual Confidence Community
If this episode opened something up and you want to be in ongoing conversation with men who are taking their health, their bodies, and their lives seriously — the Men's Sexual Confidence Community is that space.
A community for men who are done guessing and ready to actually know themselves.
If this episode stirred something in you and you want to be surrounded by men who are actively doing this work — releasing shame, reclaiming energy, and building real masculine presence — Men Rising is that space.
Men Rising is a community for men who are done being zombies and ready to come back to life.
How overstimulation from all screens — not just porn — is rewiring the nervous system
Why more stimulation is required to feel the same amount of pleasure over time
How this directly impacts erection quality, ejaculation control, and sexual satisfaction
What slowing down actually does to the body and the nervous system
The discomfort that comes up when you remove high stimulation — and why that discomfort is the process
What it takes to reconnect with subtle sensation and why that's where the real pleasure lives
How self-pleasure without fantasy or porn can rebuild sensitivity and presence
What changes in real intimacy when a man learns to feel again
This episode is for the man who finishes too fast.
For the man who goes soft and doesn't know why.
For the man who needs more and more stimulation just to feel turned on.
For the man who senses that something has shifted — but doesn't have a framework for why.
The path back isn't complicated.
But it requires something most men in this world are not practiced at.
Slowing down.
And staying there long enough to feel what's actually available on the other side.
🎧 Listen to Episode 82 now and begin the conversation your nervous system has been waiting for.
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Join the Men Rising Community
If this episode resonated and you want to go deeper into embodiment, nervous system regulation, and rebuilding a healthy relationship with pleasure and arousal — Men Rising is that space.
Men Rising is a community for men who are ready to feel more — not by chasing more stimulation, but by learning to slow down enough to actually receive what's already there.
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