Marriage and Martinis – Détails, épisodes et analyse

It has taken over 22 years for Adam and Danielle to be able to have a conversation about the topic of finance without it ending in a fit of rage, resentment, and frustration. For the first time, they can each admit to their mistakes, and the ways they individually and cohesively have contributed to the mistakes they've made, and their negligence concerning preparing for the future. Yes, this is definitely a testament to the progress they've made and the incredible work they've done, but it doesn't change the fact that they'll be feeling the impacts of their poor decisions for years to come. This is a topic that is so seldom discussed by couples in a way that's so public and especially, so honest, that they weren't sure if they should edit some of it out. However, they decided not to touch it. Hopefully, their vulnerability will inspire other couples to have similar conversations, and even learn from Adam and Danielle's mistakes. More specifically, some of the issues they discuss surrounding money and finances in this episode are:

• How differently they grew up regarding money and spending.
• How being a stay-at-home-mom impacted Danielle's ideas about financial decision making within their family.
• The frustration of being the person in charge of buying the daily necessities for the household vs. the frustrations of being the one in charge of paying the bigger bills.
• How "keeping up with the joneses" has impacted them, especially regarding raising kids.
• How honest should we be with our kids about our financial situation?
• What has caused this shift in Danielle's mentality concerning budgeting, and being an active participant in solving their financial issues?
• How our past experiences, as well as expectations about spending/money affects our overall mindset about what we need/want/deserve regardless of whether or not we can afford it.

Stay tuned for part two of this topic, in which we delve even further into these issues and so much more!

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Want to have this type of dynamic, gentle, honest conversation with you partner? Purchase the Date Night Questions print version, and use code "MNMPODCAST" for 20% off plus free shipping. Or, download it immediately with the ebook version, and use code "RECONNECT" for 15% off.

Trying to incorporate more gratitude, equity, and understanding into your relationship, use the framework that got Adam and Danielle to the place they are now as a couple, by purchasing the Small Change, Big Impact Challenge, and use code "SCBI15" for 15% off!

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Is there a such thing as too many discussions about the mental load? Until it stops being one of the most complicated issues in relationships, the answer is definitely no. Danielle and Adam were so happy that Zach joined them for a conversation about all the different facets and nuances about the mental load which are rarely discussed. In fact, for a couple that has spoken more about this topic than most partners, they each learned a lot of new, insightful information. Plus, they discuss how far they've come since their devastating fight from one year ago, that almost caused Danielle to leave. Plus, with the upcoming holidays, the three of them tackle the different ways that time of year can make the division of mental and emotional labor even more complicated. This is another one of those episodes that you'll definitely want to share with your partner and ask them to listen. There is a lot of great info in this discussion.

Follow Zach on instagram, and check out his awesome coaching and facilitator services on his website.

Be sure to sign up for the Marriage and Martinis Holiday Challenge, if you often feel like the sole magic maker during the holiday season, leaving you exhausted and overwhelmed. Purchase the regular version for the downloads only, or join us for the 30-day interactive version starting October 27th. THIS WEEK ONLY: 20% off both versions of the holiday challenge. Discount applied at checkout.

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When Danielle discovered Dr. Kat, she knew she needed to have her on to ask her about so many recent revelations she’s had about her personal experience with perinatal OCD, birth trauma, and postpartum depression. As Danielle learns more and unpacks an experience she had almost 20 years ago, she can’t help but wish she could go back and tell her younger self so many things. She can’t, but she can ask the questions for the women who may encounter (or have encountered) similar issues during their pregnancies. This conversation is one that should be listened to be everyone, regardless of gender, marital and parenting status, and whether or not people personally deal with issues with perinatal Mental Health….it absolutely should be on EVERYONE’S radar. Danielle and Dr Kat discuss:

⁃What exactly does the term “perinatal mental health” encompass?

⁃Are there regulations in place to ensure that OBGYNs are educated on modern discourse concerning PMH?

⁃What are Dr Kat’s thoughts about waiting three months to tell people you’re pregnant?

⁃What necessary questions would she tell every couple (or single human looking to get pregnant) to ask prospective OBGYN’s before choosing a physician?

⁃What might be some prior warning signs that someone might encounter issues with perinatal mental health?

⁃What exactly is a “birth trauma,” and how does a woman know whether or not she went through one?

⁃What does Dr. Kat want every person to know about perinatal mental health and how you can help someone who might be experiencing it in some way? 

Make sure you follow Dr. Kat on IG at @momandmind and listen to her podcast Mom and Mind wherever you get podcasts.

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Popular divorce coach Michelle Dempsey-Multack not only survived her own divorce, but figured out how to move on with her life, just like you will, too. Now happily remarried with a blended family, she’s living proof that no matter which “firsts” you might be experiencing as you end your marriage, and no matter how long you stayed with someone who didn’t meet your needs, your best days are ahead. In this episode, Danielle and Michelle discuss everything from, what really stops most women from leaving toxic relationships, what a person needs to do to prepare to leave, co-parenting, and the myths of divorce that need to be cleared up once and for all. Danielle talks about her own near-divorce and why she felt like leaving wasn't an option. Michelle discusses the details of her own divorce and how growing up with a single mother greatly affected her decision to leave and "move on." Even if you're not someone who has ever contemplated starting again, this episode is so filled with perspectives that will help each of us better support someone else we love who may have chosen to leave a relationship.

Purchase the Date Night Questions Experience paperback book here. Use code "MNMPODCAST" for 15% off.

Pre-order "Moms Moving On"

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In this episode ("proud," "congrats," and "family or friends who are like family"), Adam and Danielle discuss the big milestone of their son becoming a Bar Mitzvah, and all the components that go into planning a big celebration like this. The two go into detail all about how religion impacted their upbringing, and which traditions and practices they hope to continue, and which they have decided don't hold much meaning for them. How being a part of the "sandwich generation" is tricky due to the pressure of older generations to uphold parts of religion that might not be as relevant for today's world. Plus, have these parties and celebrations gotten out of hand concerning the cost, time, and effort that go into planning? No matter what religion (or lack thereof) you practice(d), this episode is definitely extremely relatable and offers a lot of insight into how partners can come together to figure out how to blend two different experiences into one successful lifestyle.

To have these meaningful conversations:

Purchase the Date Night Questions Experience paperback book here. Use code "MNMPODCAST" for 15% off.

Danielle and Adam's party planner (not a sponsored ad, she's just awesome)

https://www.360creativeapproach.com

https://www.instagram.com/360creativeapproach/

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Original airdate: 07/30/2020. What makes a person sexy? How has Danielle and Adam's ideas of sexiness changed over the years? Turn offs? How does body image affect their sexual identity and confidence? This episode covers so many different aspects of sexiness, lust, compliments, and all the things we try to keep going throughout the years of our relationship. Plus, what's the sexiest place Danielle and Adam have ever been, sexiest movie they've ever watched, etc.

Purchase the Date Night Questions Experience paperback book here. Use code "MNMPODCAST" for 15% off.

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Vanessa Marin is a sex therapist who is on a mission to help as many women as possible achieve their first orgasm. She also wants it to feel more natural to talk about sex with your partner. Her husband, Xander, is just a "regular dude" who decided to quit his corporate job to join Vanessa in her practice. Together they have helped normalize the conversation about intimacy and help couples feel more comfortable in the bedroom. The two couples chat about everything from why women fake orgasm to dirty talk in the bedroom, to their openness about most likely not wanting to have children, and why it is such an important conversation to keep having.

Purchase the Date Night Questions Experience paperback book here. Use code "MNMPODCAST" for 15% off.

Learn more about Vanessa and Xander here

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Danielle sat down with friend and fellow content creator Linda Fruits to hear all about her recent journey to discovering her true sexual identity. Linda discusses how her Tik Tok "for you" page made her question herself and her sexuality. Finally, should could no longer hide from the reality that she was attracted to women. The next steps? Coming out to her husband, family, friends, and huge social media following. In this episode, she details all of these events, as well as how she and her husband are dealing with everything that has happened in the past few months. She and Danielle discuss, as friends, things they wish they had been told about experimentation and sexuality when they were younger, and what they're hoping to teach their own kids. This episode is filled with so much honesty, and Linda and Danielle both hope that it will help other women live their own truth.

Follow Linda on instagram https://www.instagram.com/fruitsofmotherhood/

Purchase the Date Night Questions Experience paperback book here. Use code "MNMPODCAST" for 15% off.

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In an episode that Adam describes as, "one of his favorite we've ever recorded," the two discuss more concerning etiquette and how these unwritten "rules" have affected their lives. Adam goes deep into the frustration of owning a retail business and why "the customer isn't always right." Danielle talks about the workers who she thinks should be tipped ALL THE MONEY for what they are expected to do. They also talk about the hardships of teaching kids how to behave out in the world when over the last 18 months, there has been a whole lot of time at home. What "teachable moments" are important to Danielle regarding her kids, and how is she trying to make up for lost time during the pandemic when it comes to showing their kids how to be socially considerate and caring with people you know, and when it comes to strangers.

Purchase the Date Night Questions Experience paperback book here. Use code "MNMPODCAST" for 15% off.

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Danielle is admittedly horrible when it comes to stuff like thank you notes and RSVPing. Adam has impeccable bathroom etiquette and is much better at giving Danielle gifts than she is for him. In this fun episode, the two of them discuss everything from whether or not asking a girl's father for her hand in marriage is outdated, whether or not it's appropriate to make out in the backseat of an Uber, and whether or not partners should be ok sharing toothbrushes. Danielle shares poll results from the Marriage and Martinis community and shares some of people's extremely passionate thoughts about certain types of etiquette.

Purchase the Date Night Questions Experience paperback book here. Use code "MNMPODCAST" for 15% off.

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