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Adam and Danielle discuss Danielle's most recent diagnosis. Danielle talks about how this new "revelation" about herself has been somewhat emotional, even though the diagnosis is something she's known about herself for so long. Other subtopics include:

• Why didn't Danielle tell Adam she was going to get evaluated?
• What aspect of ADHD has been the most eye-opening for Danielle?
• How ADHD is further exposing the unfairness of gender roles for women
• When did Danielle first become suspicious that she has ADHD?
• Why hasn't Adam done more research, gotten more help concerning his ADHD?

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It would mean so much right now if you could buy us a coffee! And thank you all for your ongoing support. We love you!

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In this part follow-up to the post election episodes, part "how do we best support one another in hard times?" episode, Danielle highlights an obvious shift in Adam's overall attentiveness and sensitivity towards her recently. She wonders what has prompted this change, and how Adam feels since making it. What is Adam doing differently that Is totally making Danielle feel seen and heard in a way she never has before? She also asks whether or not he's still listening to Joe Rogan, and what he thinks about "bro culture" amidst the current state of things in the country. Additionally, as Adam is facing new endeavors in his business life, how can Danielle best support him? What methods of care and comfort are most effective for Adam from Danielle? Plus, we polled around 5,000 members of our audience about the current state of their relationship and mutual support at the present moment. Danielle reads the answers, and discusses what their audience thinks about how differing views of the current administration is affecting their relationships.

Have you downloaded the FREE Marriage and Martinis' activist guide? Make sure you keep checking it, as it's being updated weekly with new ways to take action, more small business to support, and issues that need more attention. Share it with anyone you think might find it to be useful.

Right now, while Danielle is putting her brand deals and affiliate programs aside to concentrate on content that's more relevant and necessary to the current events taking place, she would be so appreciative if you would BUY HER A COFFEE. The support helps ensure that she can keep working on free resources such as the activist guide, sharing important information on the Marriage and Martinis' platforms, and collaborate with other content creators to ensure they're offering the most helpful resources available to their audiences.

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Danielle and Adam have the opportunity to choose one challenge for each other to complete in the next thirty days. They discuss how they came up with these challenges, how they think one another should go about doing the work to complete them, and what the ultimate goal is for each.

Start your challenge now!

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Following up to their episode from two weeks ago, "What does Adam REALLY need?" it's Danielle's turn to discuss what it is she most wants and needs from a partner at this stage of life. Danielle and Adam discuss:

• What does "romance" even mean anymore?
• What's the difference between being "sweet" and being "romantic?"
• What did Adam ask Danielle for the first time a few days ago that he had never asked her before?
• Why "companionship" is taking on a more important role the older Danielle gets?
• In what ways has Adam really stepped up and showed he's finally listening to certain needs that Danielle has long expressed?
• Why "self-awareness" can help avoid so many issues in a relationship.

Want to follow the same steps as Adam and Danielle when they were working on healing their relationship? Check out the 30 Day Challenge!

Check out their wildly popular Date Night Questions book and ebook. Use code "Reconnect" to get 15% off!

Make sure to follow Marriage and Martinis on Instagram to keep up with new events, episodes, and a whole lot of laughter!

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In this highly requested episode, Danielle gives her perspective concerning the current F*ckedupedness happening in our country. Things seem REALLY bleak. And yes, we have a sh*t ton of work to do. But Danielle also wants everyone to remember, that this HAS always been our country. This time, we just have no choice but to not look away. In this episode:

• Why Danielle is optimistic, while also enraged and of course, worried.
• How our upbringings as Gen-Xers and Millennials give us a false sense that our country is "more divided than ever."
• Her very philosophical comparison of Trump to Charlie and The Chocolate Factory.
• Why we CANNOT look away right now, and what we can do to stay motivated.
• Small ways we can make a different even while being exhausted AF.

If you enjoy this episode, it would mean so much if you could support Danielle by buying her a coffee so she can keep doing the work and sharing with you!

Also, if you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to rate and review the podcast, on Apple and/or Spotify.

CHECK INSTAGRAM STORIES or the blog for the guide to this episode, which will be available late in the afternoon EST. Also, make sure you subscribe to the podcast and sign up for emails if you want to receive updates on ways to participate and get involved.

Know friends or family members who would love this episode? Please, share it!

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After what was possibly the most volatile year of their relationship, Danielle asks Adam what he truly, at this point in his life, needs from a partner. Also, how is Danielle doing satisfying these needs? How have his needs changed over the years?

Some other things discussed:

• Why did Adam recently think Danielle might be cheating on him, and how did he react?
• What romantic gesture did Danielle make in an attempt to kickstart the two of them "dating" each other again?
• Adam's semi-viral text to their kids, and why Danielle calls it, "one of the sexiest things" Adam has ever done.

Look out for next week's episode when it's Danielle's turn to tell Adam what she really needs.

Looking for Valentine's Day ideas? Check out our Amazon Shop for all of Danielle's favorites, from fun decorating ideas, to romantic date night essentials.

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One week after throwing their third child a "DIY" Bar Mitzvah, Adam and Danielle reflect on the process leading up to the event, and the service/party themselves. Some questions/topics include:

• What's involved with becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, anyway?
• What untraditional practices did they decide to include, and which traditions did they not follow?
• How do they feel their family's connection to their religion might change moving forward?
• How much does a Bar/Bat Mitzvah actually usually cost?
• What were each of their favorite parts of the event?
• What parts were the most stressful/overwhelming?
• What advice would they give other parents planning any type of big celebration for their chil(ren)?
• If they had to do it again, what would they do differently?

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Time To Party

There are so many party decoration services out there these days, it's truly hard to know which one to hire! Luckily, Danielle has done the work for you! Time To Party is above and beyond when it comes to everything from customer service, to creativity, down to the small but impactful details. This isn't your average party decorating brand, and your guests will realize that the second they walk into the room and are blown away! And follow on instagram to see just how phenomenal these masterpieces are.

Need awesome gift ideas for the holiday? Marriage and Martinis has the best lists, and the only ones you'll need for everyone in your life!

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In Danielle and Adam's yearly birthday episode, the two reflect on things from the past year, including accomplishments, funniest moments, what was lacking, and what they want to do more of in the coming year. Adam talks about what happened last night that reminds him he's been missing an important component of life and about which he wants to step up and make more of a priority. Danielle discusses the heaviness of the past year, and why it's been so hard to just find enjoyment in the everyday. Plus, what "finds" did they each discover that helped them get through, even if just a little bit.

Check out the Marriage and Martinis Holiday Planning Kit, complete with date-night-questions specifically meant to tackle the overwhelm and lessen the overwhelming mental load that can arise from the pressures of the season. Plus, Thanksgiving table conversation starters, and other productive and fun activities and resources. Use code "KIT15" for 15% off.

Need gift ideas? Check out the Marriage and Martinis Amazon storefront!

Adam's best finds this year:

Tanks: https://amzn.to/496Zk46

Socks: https://amzn.to/3Z3c1IC

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In what was supposed to be a "tamer" follow-up to their first election episode, Danielle and Adam just can't seem to get on the same page concerning influential commentators, and the impact they think listening has on opinions and mindset. Adam feels like he can listen without being truly "affected" by what they say, while Danielle is frustrated that Adam doesn't understand that some voices are more intrusive and influential than we think.

Some things they discuss:

• What personality does Adam reveal he listens to (besides Rogan) that shocks Danielle and makes her question Adam's motivation for supporting certain public figures?
• Why does Adam feel that Danielle needed to "get over" the election so soon after it was over?
• Why do so many women say it's such a turnoff for their husbands to listen to Joe Rogan"
• Why does Danielle feel that Rogan is so much more of a negative figure for Adam than he realizes?
• What public figure does Adam dislike that Danielle listens to?

Buckle up. This episode is WAY bumpier and more intense than originally planned. However, it's also a conversation that will most likely be relatable to many couples.

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Five days after the election, a tension has been brewing: in households, in friendships, and in society. While Danielle and Adam voted the same way, that doesn't at all mean they share the same experiences concerning politics and advocacy. Even though they've been together for 25 years, there have been a lot of times in which they felt differently concerning what type of role and voice they should each have in the world of social issues, engaging in social media, and even concerning their parenting. Danielle comes from a very political family. Adam does not. How have they navigated this terrain? They get into the deep reflection, and some extremely tense discourse, highlighting the differences they both face, and answering each others questions concerning:

• Why has Danielle gotten so much more political in the past ten years?
• Why does Danielle feel so much more strongly about politics and social issues than Adam?
• What role does the election play in The Mental Load?
• How do they navigate relationships with people in their life whom they know voted for the opposite party?
• What issues are most important to each of them?
• What frustrations do they each feel how each of them react to and engage in politics?
• How do they plan on navigating the holidays amidst such a contentious time?

Make sure to tune in for part two next week, when they discuss what public figures and influences have negatively impacted the way they relate to one another concerning issues?

What's the big deal about listening to Joe Rogan?

What does Adam think about "feminism" and the role it plays in Danielle and Mia's lives?

If you enjoyed this episode and gained something from it, please don't forget to rate and review on Apple and/or Spotify. Follow and subscribe to get all upcoming podcast episodes.

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It has taken over 22 years for Adam and Danielle to be able to have a conversation about the topic of finance without it ending in a fit of rage, resentment, and frustration. For the first time, they can each admit to their mistakes, and the ways they individually and cohesively have contributed to the mistakes they've made, and their negligence concerning preparing for the future. Yes, this is definitely a testament to the progress they've made and the incredible work they've done, but it doesn't change the fact that they'll be feeling the impacts of their poor decisions for years to come. This is a topic that is so seldom discussed by couples in a way that's so public and especially, so honest, that they weren't sure if they should edit some of it out. However, they decided not to touch it. Hopefully, their vulnerability will inspire other couples to have similar conversations, and even learn from Adam and Danielle's mistakes. More specifically, some of the issues they discuss surrounding money and finances in this episode are:

• How differently they grew up regarding money and spending.
• How being a stay-at-home-mom impacted Danielle's ideas about financial decision making within their family.
• The frustration of being the person in charge of buying the daily necessities for the household vs. the frustrations of being the one in charge of paying the bigger bills.
• How "keeping up with the joneses" has impacted them, especially regarding raising kids.
• How honest should we be with our kids about our financial situation?
• What has caused this shift in Danielle's mentality concerning budgeting, and being an active participant in solving their financial issues?
• How our past experiences, as well as expectations about spending/money affects our overall mindset about what we need/want/deserve regardless of whether or not we can afford it.

Stay tuned for part two of this topic, in which we delve even further into these issues and so much more!

Please don't forget to Rate and Review on Apple and or Spotify. A five-star rating truly helps us so much and only takes a minute.

Want to have this type of dynamic, gentle, honest conversation with you partner? Purchase the Date Night Questions print version, and use code "MNMPODCAST" for 20% off plus free shipping. Or, download it immediately with the ebook version, and use code "RECONNECT" for 15% off.

Trying to incorporate more gratitude, equity, and understanding into your relationship, use the framework that got Adam and Danielle to the place they are now as a couple, by purchasing the Small Change, Big Impact Challenge, and use code "SCBI15" for 15% off!

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Is there a such thing as too many discussions about the mental load? Until it stops being one of the most complicated issues in relationships, the answer is definitely no. Danielle and Adam were so happy that Zach joined them for a conversation about all the different facets and nuances about the mental load which are rarely discussed. In fact, for a couple that has spoken more about this topic than most partners, they each learned a lot of new, insightful information. Plus, they discuss how far they've come since their devastating fight from one year ago, that almost caused Danielle to leave. Plus, with the upcoming holidays, the three of them tackle the different ways that time of year can make the division of mental and emotional labor even more complicated. This is another one of those episodes that you'll definitely want to share with your partner and ask them to listen. There is a lot of great info in this discussion.

Follow Zach on instagram, and check out his awesome coaching and facilitator services on his website.

Be sure to sign up for the Marriage and Martinis Holiday Challenge, if you often feel like the sole magic maker during the holiday season, leaving you exhausted and overwhelmed. Purchase the regular version for the downloads only, or join us for the 30-day interactive version starting October 27th. THIS WEEK ONLY: 20% off both versions of the holiday challenge. Discount applied at checkout.

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Danielle is officially in full-perimenopause mode. But even she doesn't know what that really means! For the first time ever, she and Adam sit down to discuss the basics of perimenopause and what it truly means to be in this stage of life. What does the term even mean? How long does it last? What are the symptoms? WHY TF DON'T WE KNOW MORE?! Danielle and Adam discuss all the things they don't understand and the stuff they want to understand more. This is an episode that every couple should listen to, and DEFINITELY every woman.

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Their wedding day is not really something about which Adam and Danielle talk very much. In fact, they don't even have a picture from their wedding day anywhere in their house. During this really in depth discussion, the two of them talk about everything from how Danielle rushed Adam into getting engaged, why getting married so young presented some problems for them, how discrepancies about how money should be spent led to contention, and why they actually wouldn't go back and change a thing. Plus, they share a lot of information from their listeners and community, and go into detail about what they will tell their own kids about weddings and marriage. Whether you're single, engaged, married, or divorced, this is an episode you will not want to miss.

https://www.marriageandmartinis.com/

Get the Date Night Questions!

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Until recently, the have been very few platforms available for women to share stories about their pregnancy, birth, and postpartum experiences. But amazing resources like The Birth Hour podcast are helping to change all of that. With more than 900 episodes, this podcast (named one of Time Magazine's 50 best podcasts), Bryn has offered hundreds of women a safe space to share their birthing stories, whether they were "regular," complicated, or "unconventional." This podcast opens up so many experiences surrounding pregnancy about which we're never introduced or educated, that is has literally saved lives. In this episode, Danielle has the honor of sitting down with Bryn to discuss everything from, why women are so judgmental of one another for making decisions that differ from their own, what do we need to each remember about birthing plans, and the reality surrounding unexpected occurrences and how they impact plans and hopes. Plus, Bryn talks about some of the most memorable and impactful stories she's heard over the years. Plus, what has Bryn learned from almost one thousand birth stories that she wants all of us to know, as well? Unfortunately, it's impossible to have every woman hear an episode, but Danielle truly hopes that each woman who listens will send this to someone else who might need to hear it. If you are unpacking your own birth experience(s), are hoping to one day give birth or know someone else close to you who is, or are just curious about all the different options, choices, and paths women take when having a child, you'll absolutely want to listen to this episode.

Follow Bryn on instagram at https://www.instagram.com/thebirthhour/. Check out the website at https://thebirthhour.com/, where you can access resources to help prepare for an upcoming birth. And, check out The Birth Hour podcast to hear Danielle's birthing story this week.

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In this fun, lighthearted episode, Adam and Danielle face off in a test of elementary school knowledge. Answering questions in vocabulary, grammar, math, science, history, and geography, each wants to see how much they've retained in the 35 years since they went through the fifth grade. Who winds up the winner? Are they able to fill in a map of the 50 United States? Of Europe? Of Canada? What do they not remember being taught? What do they each wish they'd be taught but haven't? Listen to the episode for some good laughs and to test your own knowledge and find out if YOU'RE smarter than a fifth grader.

Want to get our FREE version of the Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? Sign up for emails and have it sent directly to your inbox later this week!

Want another Date Night activity that's fun and an incredible way to reconnect? Purchase The Date Night Questions and use code "RECONNECT" for 15% off the book and ebook versions.

Did you enjoy this episode and/or other Marriage and Martinis episodes? Don't forget to follow and subscribe, and it would mean so much if you would take a moment to rate and review.

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This episode is not AT ALL what Adam and Danielle had planned. But that's actually a good thing, because it winds up being one that's pretty impactful. After dropping Mia off at her second year of college, they reflect on her acknowledgement that after years of wanting to be a teacher, so has been brave enough to admit that maybe it isn't actually the path she wishes to pursue. As nervous as she was to admit this, Adam and Danielle are trying to convince her that sometimes life takes twists and turns, because we haven't been given the proper space to truly know what it is we want THE REST OF OUR LIVES to be like. At 40 years old, Adam and Danielle finally pursued a journey that felt more authentic to them, but both wish they had been given more options earlier in life. This leads them to discuss what is lacking along the way so that each of us can more openly and honestly decide the future that's "right" for us. What could schools and communities do to better open doors that otherwise young adults might not even know are there to open in the first place? How do we allow our youth to explore options without spending a fortune or giving them false hope? How much time is the right amount to try something before saying, "this isn't for me," and pivot in another, safer direction? For anyone who has had a child voice that they no longer have the same goals, despite the money, time, and effort spent on that dream, this episode is will offer the room needed to reflect on this redirection. For anyone who feels they were misguided, or rushed into a career or lifestyle, this episode is for you, too. We've all had moments where we wonder, "whose dream is this, anyway?" Let's figure out what to do with those REAL reflections.

Want to make room in your household for these conversations? Check out our Back To School toolkit, ("BTS15" for 15% off) meant to prompt conversations, and inspire a household vibe that feels safe enough to say the things that matter.

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The number one most requested guest listeners always ask to return is none other than Adam and Danielle's oldest daughter, Mia. After years of struggling to understand more about her identity and find a place for herself, Mia has learned that navigating life as a neurodivergent human is a multi-layered, complex journey filled with redirection and deep reflection. Mia openly reveals how life has changed since getting diagnosed with Autism and ADHD four years ago, and the ways she's learned to live in a way that balances her unique, individual needs with the social and academic requirements of college life. Mia walks us through her experience changing high schools, graduating, and her transition to living away from her parents. How has she managed to stay on top of her schoolwork while also having to figure out how to make new friends and keep on top of everyday routines that are more complicated for her than for most 18 year olds? What tips and strategies does she have that others can benefit from knowing about and incorporating into their daily life as a newly independent "adult?" Also, how has this whole experience changed the way Danielle and Adam parent, and how they view "success?" What do they wish they had known sooner and done differently? What concerns did they have, and how did they stay afloat when it seemed like maybe the hopes and goals they had for Mia wouldn't come to fruition? What do they want other parents to know about communicating with their kids about their needs and concerns? How have they managed the stress of having a struggling kid away and, at times, uncertain about what would come next? This is a must listen for all parents, and offers so many amazing insights and nuggets of invaluable information for any caretaker who is navigating life with a kid who doesn't always check all the proverbial boxes and fit neatly into the world, which is undoubtedly designed for neurotypical humans.

Check out our incredible Back To School Toolkit. This is your go-to “positive vibes” solution for a smoother, optimistic, and more supportive school year for everyone in your household.

Use code "BTS15" for 15% off.

If you loved this episode, you'll also love the Pivot episodes from August, 2022, when Adam and Danielle were going through their most difficult summer of parenting.

Check out our Back to School essentials, *Mia Silverstein approved.

Make sure you're signed up for Marriage and Martinis' emails to find out about exciting upcoming events and episodes.

And check out our products, and our new Back to School Preparation Toolkit for parents (available this week) and other bestselling, wildly-popular resources for couples and parents.

"BTS15" for 15% off our Back To School Toolkit.

"CHALLENGEVIP" for 20% off our "Small Change, Big Impact" Challenge.

"RECONNECT" for 15% off our record-breaking Date Night Questions e-book and book.

If you loved this episode, or any other Marriage and Martinis episode, please take a moment to rate and review on Apple and/or Spotify. It really means the world to us.

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What if you could sit down with your partner and ask them the questions you've ACTUALLY been wanting to ask? The ones that you aren't sure you want to know the answers to, or wish you had a truth serum to ensure they were being completely honest? That's exactly what Danielle and Adam do in this episode, and it definitely gets a tad intense at times. Danielle questions Adam about his complete lack of regard concerning certain aspects of his mental health, and why it worries her so much. Adam asks Danielle a questions that seems almost too complicated to answer in just a few sentences, and catches her off guard with an interesting type of "lightening round." Listen to find out what other questions cause some discomfort and make each of them do some serious reflecting.

BRAND NEW: Check out the brand new, 2.0 version of the Marriage and Martinis' Small Change, Big Impact Challenge. What would you have your partner take off your plate for thirty days? What would they have you take off of theirs? The Small Change, Big Impact Challenge tackles issues with the Mental load while gently guiding couples through a fun, unique, insightful experience quite like they've never done before. What might your relationship be like in thirty days? Use code "VIPCHALLENGE" for 20% off - our biggest discount, intended for listeners of the podcast!

Want to answer the same questions Adam and Danielle have asked one another throughout their most popular, impactful episodes? Grab our wildly popular Date Night Questions book or ebook. Use code "MNMPODCAST" for 20%!

If you enjoyed this episode, please don't forget to RATE AND REVIEW on Apple and/or Spotify. Rating and reviewing is one of the best ways to help your favorite independent podcasts. Thank you for supporting us!!

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When Danielle discovered Dr. Kat, she knew she needed to have her on to ask her about so many recent revelations she’s had about her personal experience with perinatal OCD, birth trauma, and postpartum depression. As Danielle learns more and unpacks an experience she had almost 20 years ago, she can’t help but wish she could go back and tell her younger self so many things. She can’t, but she can ask the questions for the women who may encounter (or have encountered) similar issues during their pregnancies. This conversation is one that should be listened to be everyone, regardless of gender, marital and parenting status, and whether or not people personally deal with issues with perinatal Mental Health….it absolutely should be on EVERYONE’S radar. Danielle and Dr Kat discuss:

⁃What exactly does the term “perinatal mental health” encompass?

⁃Are there regulations in place to ensure that OBGYNs are educated on modern discourse concerning PMH?

⁃What are Dr Kat’s thoughts about waiting three months to tell people you’re pregnant?

⁃What necessary questions would she tell every couple (or single human looking to get pregnant) to ask prospective OBGYN’s before choosing a physician?

⁃What might be some prior warning signs that someone might encounter issues with perinatal mental health?

⁃What exactly is a “birth trauma,” and how does a woman know whether or not she went through one?

⁃What does Dr. Kat want every person to know about perinatal mental health and how you can help someone who might be experiencing it in some way? 

Make sure you follow Dr. Kat on IG at @momandmind and listen to her podcast Mom and Mind wherever you get podcasts.

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In what will most likely be the most honest conversation about masturbation you've ever heard a real couple have, Adam and Danielle answer every question you've been wanting to ask about self pleasure. The two discuss the first time they each discovered they were capable of achieving orgasm without a partner, and how their experiences with masturbation have continued throughout the years. Some extremely open and raw discussions include:

• What are each of their routines before and following sessions of masturbation.
• Danielle asks Adam what his feelings are about mutual self-pleasure, and shares her past experiences.
• Adam discusses why he rarely makes time for self-pleasure, and what the circumstances are when he does.
• Danielle talks about why self-pleasure is one way women are absolutely the "luckier" gender.
• The two discuss sex toys such as "the fleshlight," "the stroker," vibrators," and "extra large replicas of the make sexual anatomy.
• Danielle asks Adam if he would ever experiment with Prostate play.
• The two, for the first time, reveal their fantasies during self-pleasure and why it's been such a questionable topic in the past.

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Listeners always ask Danielle and Adam to do an episode with their three kids, asking what it's like to have them as parents, and to have the podcast out there in the world for all to hear. Finally, the time has come for Danielle and Adam to sit down with each kid, individually, (Mia 18, Ean 16, and Jonah 12) to discuss all the questions about life with Danielle and Adam. Some questions include:

• What are the best and worst things about having them as parents
• In what ways are Danielle and Adam "abnormal" parents
• In what ways has the podcast impacted their lives?
• What do they think the podcast is really about?
• What do they really think about Danielle's recent boudoir shoot?
• What do they think Danielle and Adam will be like as grandparents?

And so much more!!

Download our Mother's Day activities here and use code "MAMALOVE" for 15% off.

Contact Evgenia to learn more about her special boudoir offer ONLY for listeners of Marriage and Martinis.

Check out Sojo Spa Club for the perfect Mother's Day experience, or just an experience to slow down and savor the day.

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In this episode, Danielle sits down with the amazing boudoir photographer, Evgenia Ribinik, to hear all about what it's like to be a part of such an intimate, momentous experience from the other side of the camera. The two discuss:

• How Evgenia first got into boudoir photography.
• What Evgenia wants each person who enters her studio to learn and better understand about themself.
• The different reasons why women commit to having a Boudoir shoot, and why they feel they need to have this specific experience.
• How shooting couples in this intimate manner is different from shooting a woman or women.
• Do men usually respond differently to the photo shoot, and in what ways?
• What does she want her daughters to know about her work and why it's important?
• How this journey has bonded Danielle and Evgenia in a very unique and powerful way.

To check out Evgenia's amazing work, visit her website.

Make sure to follow her on instagram at @evgeniaribinikstudios

To read Danielle's latest blog about her experience, click here.

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In this follow up episode from Danielle's Boudoir shoot, Adam and Danielle discuss how it felt to finally see the pictures, and how they handled posting pictures that most suburban moms don't reveal to over half a million people. What did Danielle say to her 15 year old son and how did that discussion go? How did she prepare people like her mother-in-law and others whom she was worried might feel uncomfortable with the situation? How did Adam react initially, and what was his ultimate takeaway from the whole experience? Plus, the two discuss:

• Why is Danielle finally ready to reveal her size when she never has been before?
• An honest talk about period sex and why it's turned complicated with perimenopause.
• What negative comments did Danielle receive and how did she respond?
• How has this whole experience affected her confidence?
• What did guilt cause Danielle to do in the midst of all of this excitement?
• What would Adam like them to do as a couple that will even further their connection and sex life?
• Why was this one of the most memorable experiences Danielle has ever had?

don't forget to follow Danielle's new hero @evginiaribinikstudios

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Danielle has wanted to work up the courage to have a Boudoir shoot for years. Finally, after finding a photographer she knew she could be comfortable with, she went to have this experience, without informing Adam. In this episode, the two discuss:

• Why it was important to Danielle to do this without Adam knowing.
• Why it took so much courage to jump this hurdle and go through with the photoshoot.
• What Adam is most "concerned" about her posting the pictures.
• If Adam would be willing to go back and do a couples' shoot.
• How doing this shoot has affected Danielle's confidence, and more!

To find out more about Danielle's amazing photographer, check out Evgenia Ribinik.

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Recently, Danielle heard something on Tik Tok that really struck her: "are we all just spending the second half of our lives recovering from the first half?" This got her thinking about all the things we're taught for so long while growing up, only to figure out that all of those messages and concepts are all just a bunch of BS. Are we all too "gaslit" to even know what we, as individuals, even want in life? How can we separate our own goals and desires with those we've been TOLD we should want? In this interestingly nostalgic-yet-eye-opening episode, Adam and Danielle discuss:

• why weren't they taught more preparedness strategies for life in school, rather than subject matter that has proven to be almost totally obsolete
• why Danielle is no longer looking back on elementary school through rose-colored glasses, and how she thinks the whole experience affected her self-esteem
• who the "cool kids" were in school, as opposed to who should have been deemed "cool"
• what messages were Adam fed about what being a boy means?
• what messages was Danielle fed about what being a girl means?
• what did they both get wrong about body image, and what do they now realize?
• in what ways have movies and TV shows helped in disseminating so many false messages
• is chivalry still allowed?

and so much more!

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Molly had reached her breaking point as an overwhelmed mom and wife when she and her husband decided to open up their marriage back in 2008. In this honest conversation, Danielle asks Molly questions that are on so many people's minds when we think about allowing our partners to be intimate with other humans. Some of these include, how do you handle the intense moments of jealousy that follow knowing your partner has been sexual with someone else? What happened when your kids found out, and how did they react? Were you worried about your parents finding out? And, has the experience been all you hoped it would? Molly's new memoir, "More," takes readers through the journey of becoming polyamorous, and all of the layers, hardships, and joys involved in this process. Luckily, Molly was willing to share some of those stories on the podcast. Hearing these reflections helps us to understand the concept of open marriage from a different, more honest perspective.

Buy Molly's book More, A Memoir Of Open Marriage wherever books are sold.

If you loved this episode, please take a moment to rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts and/or on Spotify.

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In this not-so-conventional "check-in" episode, Adam and Danielle answer some deep questions about recent lessons on life they've learned, what's something they've each done recently about which they're proud, and a lighting round of quick answers concerning how they're feeling about certain aspects of life. Plus, Danielle introduces Adam to the term, "tradwife," and wants to know if he secretly wishes she was more like one of those wives. Get a pen and paper out, because partners are going to want to write down these questions to ask one another (or anyone in your life with whom you'd like to have a deep conversations).

Check out our upcoming, awesome sessions of Beyond Permission, including a discussion on Sex Toys, Libido and Desire, and a DATE NIGHT opportunity with Danielle and Adam!

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Lyz Lenz grew up religious, in a household that taught their children that marriage is the only option, and divorce is totally off-limits, with the possible exceptions of infidelity and/or abuse. But 11 years into her own marriage, she knew she couldn't stay, even though the reasons for wanting to leave were different than what she had been taught were valid and acceptable. In her new book "This American Ex-Wife, How I Left My Husband And Started My Life," Lyz intertwines her story with a broader one: that of how the institution of marriage is obviously not working as it exists right now, and why we need to change the narrative on marriage and divorce. In this episode, Danielle and Lyz discuss myth vs. fact when it comes to marriage, divorce, single motherhood, and what "happiness" actually looks like. Plus, what does Lyz want women to know about marriage and divorce that no one else will tell you? And no, she isn't anti relationship, or even marriage. But she is in favor of coming together to figure out what society needs to do to make it be more fulfilling and beneficial for everyone who decides to enter into this union.

Purchase Lyz's book wherever books are sold. Follow her on instagram @lyzlenz and subscribe to her Substack.

BY POPULAR DEMAND: Check out Danielle's upcoming Beyond Permission sessions. Weren't able to attend the whole weekend of Beyond Permission? We're offering Mini-sessions with all the same topics that are of interest to you! Check out the details and schedule HERE!

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In this fun, pre-Valentine's Day episode, Danielle and Adam go head to head in a battle of "Sex trivia." Each of them came up with ten questions revolving around sex and intimacy to try to stump the other. If you've been wanting to know more weird facts about sex, or even basic information we should have learned a long time ago, you'll love this lighthearted challenge to determine whether Adam or Danielle is the master of sex (ed).

Valentine's Day is coming! Time to order the Date Night Questions book, and enter code, "MNMPODCAST" for 20% off - our biggest discount anywhere! Want to have it immediately? Download the ebook version and use code, "DATENIGHT" for 15% off.

Valentine's Day Digital Download for Couples: Spice up your Valentine’s Day whether you’re staying home or going out. Use Code VAL2024 for 15% Off!

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Adam and Danielle continue their conversation about communication by finally going deep into "apologies." They discuss whether or not they heard HEALTHY apologies growing up, whether they remember apologizing to friends, and how apologies (or lack thereof) have affected their relationship over the years. Other things they discuss include:

• Can a person say "sorry' too often?
• Should women stop apologizing so much?
• Do women really apologize more than men?
• What's the difference between saying sorry and apologizing?
• How have societal messages about manliness and strength hindered men's ability and turn on women?
• What does REAL vulnerability look and feel like in a relationship?
• Why is apology only the first step?
• What happened in the past few nights that made Danielle feel more connected to Adam than his apologies have?
• What does a real, genuine apology look like?

Valentine's Day Digital Download for Couples: Spice up your Valentine’s Day whether you’re staying home or going out. Use Code VAL2024 for 15% Off!

Valentine's Day is coming! There's nothing better to bring and/or give on your special date night than The Date Night Questions Book! Use code "MNMPODCAST" for 20% off! Use code "DATENIGHT" for 15% off the ebook version, and download it immediately!

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Danielle and Adam discuss why communication is just so damn hard. Each reflects on what communication was like in their households growing up, how gender roles affects communication styles, and what type of communicator each is currently. Plus, where have they made progress concerning communication, and where do they still need to improve?

Join Danielle on January 25th, 26th, and 27th in the evenings, EST. for an empowering virtual workshop for women. Beyond Permission will be led by Danielle and Leah, and they sessions will be filled with support, learning, conversation, activities, and so much more concerning everything midlife, sex, desire, effective communication, and body image related. Get one of the very limited VIP passes, and join Danielle, Leah, and a very small group for an after hours pajama party for Girl Talk After Dark, and go even deeper and get more raw about all the things. Do not wait! Prices increase soon! Use code "UNLEARN25" for $25 off!!

Valentine's Day Digital Download for Couples: Spice up your Valentine’s Day whether you’re staying home or going out. Use Code VAL2024 for 15% Off!

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** This episode mentions and has some discussion of sexual trauma. Please take care while listening. 

Recently, Danielle asked her good friend, sex and intimacy coach, Leah Carey, to listen to her and Adam's wildly popular episode, “Awakening The Sex Talk Demons.” Danielle wanted to know why this conversation with Adam concerning intimacy had been so explosive and chaotic before it was able to be productive. Had they done it wrong? Is it actually possible to tell your partner you need more, sexually, and have it be a smooth, gentle discussion? 

Leah breaks down what we need to remember during these very tough conversations: we’ve been conditioned differently from the time we’re very young, and are often simply adhering to the roles we’ve been instructed to fulfill. She and Danielle discuss that infamous first Marriage and Martinis episode that Leah was on, why we can’t always trust our bodies’ physical responses during intimacy, games that can be played in lieu of telling our partner, “we’re not satisfied” as means to get a similar message across, and so much more.

Want to spend a weekend with Danielle, Leah, and other badass women, embarking on a virtual, groundbreaking journey from January 25th to 27th. We'll be exploring our true sensual and sexual selves at midlife, shedding old stories that no longer serve us, and rewriting our personal narratives as we learn how to truly fulfill our needs and desires. Head to BeyondPermission.com too sign up!

Want more of Leah Carey's incredible insights on intimacy and coaching, and learn more about the "Three Minute Game?" Check out LeahCarey.com.

Listen to the conversation that inspired this episode, Awakening The Sex Talk Demons. Want more information on how to navigate your own hard conversations about intimacy? Read Danielle's blog post here.

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In this follow-up episode to last week's "When Is It The Last Straw," Adam breaks down some of what he has reflected on, realized, and is starting to learn, even in the past week. However, he also admits that removing his ego from the equation is difficult for him. Danielle and Adam discuss their history with therapy, why it hasn't been effective for Adam in the past, and why he presently is beginning to change his view on it. Adam confronts Danielle about the confusing mixed messages she gave him all week, wanting to have sex despite their fighting and disconnection. Plus, Danielle brings up past events from six years ago, and discusses how never having closure about these awful acts has impacted her overall ability to move forward with Adam.

Episode #31, The Guilt Episode, is referenced a few times in this episode. Listen to that episode from December 3, 2018 for more context.

Want to spend a weekend with Danielle, Leah, and other badass women, embarking on a virtual, groundbreaking journey from January 25th to 27th? We'll be exploring our true sensual and sexual selves at midlife, shedding old stories that no longer serve us, and rewriting our personal narratives as we learn how to truly fulfill our needs and desires.

Register for Beyond Permission with Danielle & Leah here.

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In this difficult, impactful episode, Danielle and Adam get real and raw about some pretty complicated issues they've been dealing with recently. Danielle attempts to "walk the walk" concerning her changing expectations and "demands" about which she talked in the Letting My Freak Flag Fly episode. What set it all off? What influences have led to her fresh understanding of what a partnership should look like? How can Danielle and Adam move forward and not fall back into old patterns? This episode is emotional, vulnerable, relatable, and informative. This is one of those episodes you'll definitely want to send to your partner, or anyone else who might benefit from hearing some "real talk" about struggling through a phase of marriage.

Some other topics and issues covered:

• What is a "gray divorce," and why are they becoming more and more popular?
• What archaic terms and ideals need to be rewritten with new expectations about roles and commitment?
• How can we experience intimacy in a way that's as powerful outside of the bedroom as inside?
• How does upbringing complicate our relationships?
• What happens when one partner is manifesting love in all the ways, and the other is lacking in their display of affection and adoration?
• Why do women initiate such a high percentage of divorces?
• How do we realign after a period of disconnect?

If you loved this episode, please take a moment to rate and review on Apple Podcasts and/or Spotify.

Give the gift of reconnection this holiday, with the Marriage and Martinis' Date Night Questions Book. Perfect for stocking stuffers, host/hostess gifts, for the engaged, newlywed, and empty nest couples.

Listen to other episodes mentioned in this podcast:

Awakening the Sex Talk Demons

The Five Love Languages, Veruca Salt Style

The Five Love Languages, Part Two

The Challenge

Check out Danielle and Adam's 2023 Holiday Gift Guide!!

Want to spend a weekend with Danielle, Leah, and other badass women, embarking on a virtual, groundbreaking journey from January 25th to 27th? We'll be exploring our true sensual and sexual selves at midlife, shedding old stories that no longer serve us, and rewriting our personal narratives as we learn how to truly fulfill our needs and desires.

Register for Beyond Permission with Danielle & Leah here.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the first solo episode since "Is She....Letting Herself Go," Danielle discusses the ways she has always had to "tone herself down" to fit into the confines of societal norms and expectations. However, now that she is older and has stopped restricting herself so much, she is working towards creating a life where she can feel as close to 100% of her true self as often as possible. This means podcasting more, containing to work towards body acceptance and allowing herself to continue to savor aspects of life which we're taught to actually limit ourselves. In this episode, Danielle discusses:

• How we're taught from a young age not to be "too much."
• What she wishes she had been told about careers, sexuality, and monogamy.
• How not restricting herself anymore has actually led to more self-confidence.
• The way giving herself permission to admit her needs and desires has led to more sex and better sex.
• Why she's no longer buying into the concept of "happiness," and what she's focusing on instead.
• What she wants to give her kids permission to do, that she has never felt the permission to do herself.
• All the ways she wants to be weird, and the ways she's letting her freak flag fly higher and higher.

If you liked this episode please take a moment to rate and review on Apple and/or Spotify.

Also, if you enjoyed this episode, you'll also enjoy:

"Is She....Letting Herself Go?!"

Awakening the Sex Talk Demons

Want to have real, raw conversations with your partner in a gentle, productive, and fun way? Don't forget to buy the Date Night Questions, available in print and ebook versions. Use code "reconnect" for 15% off the book, and "e-checkin" for 15% off the ebook.

Want to spend a weekend with Danielle, Leah, and other badass women, embarking on a virtual, groundbreaking journey from January 25th to 27th? We'll be exploring our true sensual and sexual selves at midlife, shedding old stories that no longer serve us, and rewriting our personal narratives as we learn how to truly fulfill our needs and desires.

Register for Beyond Permission with Danielle & Leah here.

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Danielle and Adam have been participating in their own challenge for over three weeks now, and the results have been awesome. When Danielle first created The Challenge, she hoped that it would lead to improved communication, intimacy, laughter, and connection....and it has far surpassed her expectations. Now, Danielle and Adam are offering other couples to have the same chance to participate in their own version of The Challenge. This month-long experience gives couples everything they need to choose a challenge for one another, prepare for the exciting "reveal meeting" for the challenge, check-in with one another throughout, and end with a celebratory Date Night with exclusive Date Night Questions only accessible to those who participate in the challenge.

With tons of opportunities to feel more seen, valued, and understood, the challenge is unlike anything couples have most likely experienced. Plus, there is only a small time commitment, it's incredibly affordable, and there's room for collaboration and discussion. Listen to episode to hear more details about the challenge, and then head to Marriage and Martinis to sign up, and choose promo code "podcastchallenge" for $10 off your one month subscription. Signing up in only the beginning. Check your inbox on Wednesday to receive your first guide and get going on making this challenge a complete success!! WE CANNOT WAIT for you to join!! The last day to sign up for the November challenge will be November 6th. It will formally begin on November 6th.

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In their follow-up episode about The Love Languages, Danielle and Adam go much deeper into everything from the overall concept, certain problematic aspects of the overall phenomena, and what they would both need from EACH of the five love languages. Plus, they talk more about Adam's findings concerning the symbolism behind the upside-down pineapple and the red Adirondack chairs. What are Danielle's thoughts about Words of Affirmation, and what would she prefer to have that feels more organic and authentic? How have their needs for each of the five things changed over time, and what do they need more of now that they may not have needed in the past? Whether or not you've had any experiences with the five love languages, this episode will offer ideas to make it all more productive, comprehensive, and impactful for couples, as well as for friendships.

Want to spend a weekend with Danielle, Leah, and other badass women, embarking on a virtual, groundbreaking journey from January 25th to 27th? We'll be exploring our true sensual and sexual selves at midlife, shedding old stories that no longer serve us, and rewriting our personal narratives as we learn how to truly fulfill our needs and desires.

Register for Beyond Permission with Danielle & Leah here.

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People always ask Danielle and Adam to do an episode on The Five Love Languages. So, they're finally doing it. But, they're doing it their own way. Danielle talks about why she refuses to choose one love language. Adam talks about his concern that the love languages quiz would be viewed more of a "test" and how that affected his answers. The two discuss how their love language styles would have most definitely changed over the course of their relationship, and how certain important aspects of their relationship don't seem to fit into any of the love languages. Stay tuned for part two next week when Danielle and Adam go even deeper into what they would want and need from each love language.

Want to have conversations that lead to fun, better communication, and renewed intimacy? Get your copy of The Date Night Questions and use code "RECONNECT" for 15% off the paperback version, and "E-CHECKIN" for 15% off the ebook.

Want to spend a weekend with Danielle, Leah, and other badass women, embarking on a virtual, groundbreaking journey from January 25th to 27th? We'll be exploring our true sensual and sexual selves at midlife, shedding old stories that no longer serve us, and rewriting our personal narratives as we learn how to truly fulfill our needs and desires.

Register for Beyond Permission with Danielle & Leah here.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Danielle and Hanif discuss the life events that impacted Hanif so greatly that he co-founded the Center For Equity and Inclusion. Born to a father of Indian descent from Tanzania, and a Mexican-American mother, Hanif breaks down how being a person of color has affected his identity in every space he's occupied in life. Also, how his parents' desire to have their children assimilate into American culture caused a lot of confusion concerning how he should feel about his mixed background. For these reasons and more, he became intensely set on teaching others how we can make schools, workplaces, homes, and communities feel more accepting and comfortable regardless of someone's gender, sexual orientation, etc. Danielle asks Hanif small, actionable steps we can all take immediately if we want to be a part of the movement towards inclusive spaces.

Contact Hanif through the Center for Equity and Inclusion (https://ceipdx.com/).

haniffazal.com 

Pre-Order links for An Other World -

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1774583313

Barnes and Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/an-other-world-hanif-fazal/1142911253

Powells World of Books: https://www.powells.com/book/an-other-world-9781774583319

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Danielle and Adam have the opportunity to choose one challenge for each other to complete in the next thirty days. They discuss how they came up with these challenges, how they think one another should go about doing the work to complete them, and what the ultimate goal is for each.

Want to spend a weekend with Danielle, Leah, and other badass women, embarking on a virtual, groundbreaking journey from January 25th to 27th? We'll be exploring our true sensual and sexual selves at midlife, shedding old stories that no longer serve us, and rewriting our personal narratives as we learn how to truly fulfill our needs and desires.

Register for Beyond Permission with Danielle & Leah here.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After a whirlwind phase of chaotic life events, Danielle wants to take a moment and discuss how far she and Adam have come as individuals, as a couple, and especially as parents. But, the two realize that just stopping and living in the moment is difficult when there are still so many uncertainties. Still, the couple attempt to discuss the fact that it's necessary to stop and reflect on how much they've accomplished together over the past year and a half (and longer). Some things the two discuss:

• Why we all need to celebrate the moments that society might not deem "worthy" of an official celebration much more often.
• What Danielle and Adam did as parents that helped their kids through their most difficult times so far, and why it was so impactful.
• How Danielle's OCD has helped her to revel in the "small wins" in life more than the average person most likely does.
• Updates on" Mia's adjustment to college; How Danielle and Adam's attempt to sleep in the same bed is going; how the new house is coming along.

If you enjoyed this (or any other) Marriage and Martinis podcast episode, please take a moment to support Adam and Danielle by rating and reviewing on Apple Podcasts and/or Spotify. It helps them so much, and, it's totally free and easy (just like Danielle).

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Three days ago, Danielle and Adam dropped their daughter, Mia, off for her freshman year at college. But getting to this point was nothing short of a rollercoaster of a journey. In this episode, Danielle and her sister, Life Coach Amy, discuss what they've both learned about preparing our kids (and ourselves) for the post-high school phase. Amy has sent her two kids off to college, and helps other moms deal with this transitional time of life filled with so much change and uncertainty. Some topics the two discuss are:

• How struggles are actually necessary and beneficial for our kids preparing to go away for school.
• Why it's essential that our kids concentrate on life skills that aren't taught in school or most extra-curricular activities.
• What one thing is making this whole process so much easier for Danielle, and why she wants every parent to understand how important it is to help our children follow their natural course.
• How Amy has navigated having a child at school who doesn't communicate as much as she would like.
• What essential skills should kids know before heading off to college or into "the real world?"
• How to find the good in each situation, even if it feels far from perfect.

Subscribe to Life Coach Amy Alpert's amazing must-read newsletter, and follow her on substack.

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For the majority of their relationship, Danielle and Adam have slept in separate bedrooms. So, what happens when, after all this time, they attempt to sleep together all through the night in the same bed? Why does Danielle feel like this is an important change to make in the relationship at this particular stage of life? How did they start sleeping in separate bedrooms in the first place? Adam and Danielle break down the history of their "sleep divorce" and all the reasons it may have worked for them in the past. Plus, is Adam ok with the only physical affection he gets being from Danielle and the kids? Does he wish his friends were more affectionate? For anyone who has anything "taboo" about their relationship, you will not want to miss this episode.

Want to spend a weekend with Danielle, Leah, and other badass women, embarking on a virtual, groundbreaking journey from January 25th to 27th? We'll be exploring our true sensual and sexual selves at midlife, shedding old stories that no longer serve us, and rewriting our personal narratives as we learn how to truly fulfill our needs and desires.

Register for Beyond Permission with Danielle & Leah here.

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In an episode that Adam describes as, "one of his favorite we've ever recorded," the two discuss more concerning etiquette and how these unwritten "rules" have affected their lives. Adam goes deep into the frustration of owning a retail business and why "the customer isn't always right." Danielle talks about the workers who she thinks should be tipped ALL THE MONEY for what they are expected to do. They also talk about the hardships of teaching kids how to behave out in the world when over the last 18 months, there has been a whole lot of time at home. What "teachable moments" are important to Danielle regarding her kids, and how is she trying to make up for lost time during the pandemic when it comes to showing their kids how to be socially considerate and caring with people you know, and when it comes to strangers.

Purchase the Date Night Questions Experience paperback book here. Use code "MNMPODCAST" for 15% off.

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This episode of the podcast is brought to you by two people who desperately need sleep, don't have enough energy to make much sense, but really wanted to check in with everyone with a quick update. Danielle and Adam discuss finally being in their new home, why this was the most draining of all the moves, and how they're embracing their new small-town lifestyle. Danielle talks more about her guilt concerning moving the cats to a new home, and Adam is excited to talk all about his new lawnmower and weedwacker. Plus, how has this move made them think differently about the importance of life changes, especially while in their 40s? But mostly, this episode is a lot of rambling, and these two aren't even sure if anything they've said during the hour even makes sense.

We recommend listening to the prior episodes about moving before listening to this episode.

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It took two tries for Danielle and Adam to record this episode, because the first attempt ended in one of the worst arguments they've had in months. However, the second time, the conversation was one of the best and most honest talks about sex and intimacy on the podcast. However, this was after four hours of heated debate and fighting after Danielle opened up a "can of worms" that neither of them was expecting would result in such anger and frustrating on both their parts. In what Danielle claims was an "indicator of how fragile the male ego can be when it comes to feedback about sexual performance," the fight after the first (partial) recording brought up everything from Adam's famous statement in an episode back in 2018, "when I'm done, I'm done," the fact that men have never been taught to take women's pleasure seriously, that women are not strongly encouraged to take their own pleasure seriously (until later in life), and the truth about female pleasure is never truly researched and discussed by male partners. However, after clearing the air and finally calming down, they are able to have a truly productive and eye-opening discussion as to why their intimacy is better now than it ever was, and what secrets they can share about steps couples can take to become more compatible sexually and connect on a deeper, more passionate level. But first, they need to go back and acknowledge that their intimacy was definitely not always like that. Danielle and Adam both agree that this might be their favorite episode on the topic of sex they've ever done. Everyone should listen to this important, honest episode, no matter their relationship status.

The two also discuss:

• Misconceptions about the clitoris and the female orgasm.
• Why women are so quick to fake an orgasm, and the reasons men just believe it's real.
• How girls really feel when making out with boys as teenagers.
• What they want their own kids to understand about female pleasure.
• Why men don't think to ask what they can do to better pleasure a woman.
• Why it's important to have these conversations consistently, rather than all in one session.

Get the Date Night Questions Book!

Want to spend a weekend with Danielle, Leah, and other badass women, embarking on a virtual, groundbreaking journey from January 25th to 27th? We'll be exploring our true sensual and sexual selves at midlife, shedding old stories that no longer serve us, and rewriting our personal narratives as we learn how to truly fulfill our needs and desires.

Register for Beyond Permission with Danielle & Leah here.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.