The Balance Trap, Not My Type & Haunted by Mistakes | Ep. 35
jeudi 21 août 2025 • Durée 55:28
In this episode Ted and Patrick dive into real-life listener questions, tackling topics like staying present with your partner and kids while managing a demanding career, navigating dating when someone isn’t your “type” but has a strong emotional connection, and finding self-forgiveness while making peace with past mistakes.
💬 Send us your questions in the comments or at mandownpodcast@varianceincorporated.com
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Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome Intro
00:07 Episode Intro
00:42 Why Hiring a Cleaner Isn’t as Simple as You Think
04:38 Reader Questions
05:04 #1 Navigating Physical and Emotional Attraction
14:17 #2 Balancing Work and Family Life
25:45 #3 Finding Self-Forgiveness and Peace
43:55 #4 Rewiring Your Brain for Better Habits
50:00#5 What Scene in Lost in Translation Made Patrick Cry?
52:08 Art Doesn’t Always Need to Make Sense
54:00 Outro (Subscribe and Send Us Your Questions)
Why You Keep Sabotaging Yourself (and How to Stop) | Ep. 34
jeudi 14 août 2025 • Durée 58:18
Why do we keep getting in our own way — even when we want something badly?
In this episode, Ted and Patrick dig into the deeper psychology of self-sabotage: what it really is, why it happens, and how to break the cycle for good.
We’ll unpack:
- Why “self-sabotage” isn’t a diagnosis — and what it’s really a symptom of
- How fragile self-worth and old beliefs quietly shape destructive patterns
- The many ways self-sabotage shows up in your career, creative work, and relationships
- Why some of these behaviours feel protective — even when they hurt you
- The traps that keep you stuck on repeat (and how to see them before they happen)
- Practical ways to break the cycle and move forward with confidence
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Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome Intro
00:07 Episode Intro
00:49 Ted’s Trip to Santa Barbara
02:29 When It’s Time to Stop Wallowing
02:49 Holding Space Without Holding On
03:13 How We Torture Ourselves With Old Pain
03:55 The Power of Putting It Away
04:14 Patrick’s Life Updates & Milestones
05:19 The Third Child Nightmare
06:47 When Your Partner’s Dream Turns Into Your Problem
08:24 Seeing Self-Sabotage Across Life
09:39 Understanding Self-Sabotage
10:21 Patterns of Behaviour and Fear of Failure
10:55 Self-Sabotage as a Symptom
12:35 The Inertia Behind Self-Sabotage
16:03 Embracing Failure and Taking Risks
20:01 The Fragile Sense of Self and External Validation
22:47 Embracing Failure in the Creative Process
23:42 The Cycle Of Learning and Self-Improvement
26:57 Understanding Procrastination and its Roots
27:51 Finding Limits and Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
30:16 Creating for Yourself vs. Seeking External Validation
33:06 The Impact of Procrastination on Life Choices
37:31 Self-Sabotage in Relationships
48:34 Avoidant Behaviour and its Consequences
53:11 Summary & Final Thoughts on Self-Sabotage
54:29 The Value of Vulnerability and Effort
57:49 Outro
We’re back with another round — and this time, the producers put Ted and Patrick through the wringer.
20+ rapid-fire questions. No prep. No time to think. Just off-the-cuff answers.
You’ll hear which guilty pleasure Patrick refuses to feel guilty about, the fictional characters they irrationally relate to, and why Ted’s had a horror movie aversion since he was 10 years old.
And trust us — it only gets better from there.If you love honest, funny, and unexpectedly revealing stories, this episode is for you.
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Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:05 Episode Intro
00:31 From Desk Fans to Deep Questions — Things Escalated Fast
04:35 Quick Fire Questions
05:15 The Moment Everything Shifted
09:01 Ted & Patrick’s Life Warning Labels
10:11 Ted’s Opening Book Scene
12:50 The Compliment That Low-Key Insults You
14:03 What People Totally Get Wrong About Us
18:29 Known for Mind, Heart, or Impact?
22:47 Guilty Pleasures Ted and Patrick Own
24:41 The Habit That Keeps Relationships Strong
27:34 Fictional Characters We Secretly Relate To
28:21 When Did We Last Surprise Ourselves?
32:29 Trend Phases We Fully Committed to (And Regret)
33:47 Qualities We Admire but Struggle to Cultivate
35:44 Surprising Bucket List Dreams
38:00 Whose Creative Brain Would We Steal for a Day?
41:44 The Boldest Clapback in Classical Music History
42:24 The Skill We Wish We Had
43:08 Favourite City/Country to visit
44:10 Advice That Actually Stuck
45:31 Favourite Thing About Each Other
49:24 Go-To Comfort Meal
52:04 Things We Changed Our Mind About Recently
55:23 Top 5 Favourite Films
59:27 A Mistake We Made Once—and Never Repeated
1:03:23 Outro
How Much Is Poor Sleep Costing You? Tips to Sleep Better | Ep. 32
mardi 5 août 2025 • Durée 52:42
Sleep impacts everything—from your physical health to mental clarity—but it’s often overlooked. In this episode, Ted and Patrick break down why sleep matters and how small changes can lead to big improvements. No guilt, no pressure—just practical tips to help you fall asleep easier, stay asleep longer, and feel better every day. Prioritising your sleep could be the key to a better, longer life.
Show Notes
🧠 Therapist Anne Brown https://www.annebrownpsychotherapy.com/
Sleep Research
Huberman:
• View sunlight within 30–60 mins of waking & before sunset
• Wake/sleep at consistent times—don’t push past sleepiness
• No caffeine within 8–10 hours of bedtime
• Use the Reveri app (iOS) for sleep-focused self-hypnosis (3x/week)
• Avoid bright overhead lights between 10 pm–4 am
• If awake at night, try NSDR or Yoga Nidra (on YouTube)
• You might consider taking (30-60 min before bed):
145mg Magnesium Threonate or 200mg Magnesium Bisglycinate
50mg Apigenin
100-400mg Theanine
(3-4 nights per week I also take 2g of Glycine and 100mg GABA.)
*I would start with one supplement (or none!) and then add one at a time as needed.
**Don’t take theanine if you have overly intense dreams, sleep-walk, or have night terrors.
***Also, some people (~5%), get an agitated stomach from magnesium supplementation, in which case, do not take it.
Bryan Johnson Habits:
• Build a nightly wind-down routine (30–60 mins)
An online randomized clinical trial on 991 subjects concluded that reading a book in bed improved sleep quality in a majority of participants, as self-reported by the participants using SQS scoring.
In a wide meta analysis, mindfulness meditation outperformed controls and proved equivalent to medications in treating sleep disturbances.
In a study on 94 students, soothing classical music outperformed a negative control and an audiobook at improving sleep quality and reducing depression. In older adults too, a meta analysis of 9 studies with 489 participants showed significant improvements with sleep latency, duration, and efficiency with various music interventions in multiple settings and countries.
• Cool room temperature between 60-67°F (15-19°C).
• Eat your last meal 2–4+ hours before sleeping
• Try to avoid caffeine, alcohol, and other stimulants at least 10 hours before sleep. Caffeine has a half life of 6 hours in the blood. That means that consuming a cup of coffee 6 hours before bedtime is equivalent to drinking half a cup immediately before going to bed!
Alcohol reduces REM sleep, increases sleep fragmentation (frequent awakenings), and can exacerbate existing medical conditions
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Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:05 Episode Intro
01:20 Thank You For Coming To The Meet Up
01:48 Live Podcast?
02:35 Sleep Hygiene and Its Challenges
03:48 Why We Are Talking About Sleep
05:37 Sleep Training and Family Dynamics
07:13 How Patrick Optimises his Sleep
08:09 Quality vs Quantity
09:15 The Impact of Sleep on Cognitive Function
10:32 Your Morning Routine Cannot Outrun Terrible Sleep
10:51 What Made Ted Prioritise Sleep
12:46 Tired Ted vs. Sleep-Deprived Patrick
14:35 Research on Sleep in Sports
18:24 The Importance of Sleep for Athletes
19:18 Sleep Fuels Performance
21:23 Circadian Rhythms and Performance
22:35 Optimising Sleep for Daily Life
25:06 Therapist Recommendation
26:29 Sleep Research from Huberman and Johnson
29:13 Sleep Tips and Strategies
36:05 The Importance of Sleep Awareness
38:43 Recap of Tips and More Hygiene Strategies
42:29 Supplements and Sleep Hygiene
48:25 Better Sleep, Better You
50:09 The Role of Nutrition in Sleep Quality
51:19 Outro
Advice to Younger Self, Lost In Dating & Motivation Slumps | Ep.31
jeudi 31 juillet 2025 • Durée 01:01:40
In this episode, Ted and Patrick tackle your questions—no filters, no fluff. They talk about what they’d tell their younger selves, the frustrating reality of feeling out of sync in dating, and what to do when motivation is nowhere to be found. Plus, they dive into one of the weirdest relationship dilemmas yet: what happens when friends refuse to call a partner by his nickname?
Expect real talk, a few laughs, and the kind of honest advice you wish you’d heard years ago.
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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mandown.podcast/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mandownpodcast
Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:10 Episode intro
01:11 Q1 Reflections on Being
1707:25 Q2 Navigating Relationships in Your 20s
11:54 Q3 Motivation and Habit Formation
19:42 Q4 Workplace Gossip
27:12 Reddit Post: Navigating Nickname
35:10 Quick Fire Round Questions
35:49 Q1 Two Favourite Female Musical Artists
40:33 Q2 Favourite Male Actor
45:36 Q3 Thing Most Evangelical About From The Last Year
47:25 Q4 Thing Trying to Change About Self
53:58 Patrick’s Other Podcast ‘Unseen Incidents’
55:34 Kitchen Appliances
56:09 College American Football Names (The Humour in Names)
58:51 Outro
59:16 Broll (College Football Name Winner)
The Self-Improvement Nobody Talks About | Ep. 30
mardi 29 juillet 2025 • Durée 59:36
Most self-improvement advice focuses on productivity hacks or getting in shape — but what if there’s a different side to growth that we rarely talk about?
In this episode, Ted and Patrick explore how self-improvement can mean reconnecting with beauty, curiosity, and joy in everyday life. It’s about going beyond the grind, finding meaning in small moments, and developing yourself in ways that actually make life richer and more fulfilling.
If you’re tired of hustle culture’s narrow view of success and want to discover a broader, more meaningful approach to self-improvement, this conversation is for you.
Follow us on our Socials:
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLzsGH4hM9TxHC4hHPvgMJw
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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mandown.podcast/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mandownpodcast
Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:08 Episode Intro
00:55 The Balance of Sadness and Happiness
04:35 Time it Takes to Become Emotionally Available
05:07 Running vs Lifting
07:44 Patrick on Running and Fitness
09:27 Love and Hate Relationship of Running
11:28 Patrick’s Love for Lifting
12:08 Patrick on Making Running Fun
12:31 Going Full Coffee Nerd
13:42 Romanticising Your Life: A New Perspective on Self-Improvement 15:57 Patrick Alternative Ideas of Self-Improvement
16:57 Your Job Doesn’t Have to Be Your Purpose
18:04: Why We Started This Podcast in the First Place
18:33 The Good Life Is Simpler Than You Think
19:10 Screw Hustle Culture. Just Care About Something
19:52 Patrick’s Self-Improvement Check-List
20:28 The Importance of Diverse Interests
23:00 Challenge Yourself For Growth
26:00 Comic Books Were My First Cinematic Universe
27:00 Low-Load, High-Load: Why We Reach for Different Things
28:12 Your Media Habits Are Emotional Clues
29:00 Growth Means Giving Up a Bit of Comfort
30:50 Romanticising Your Life: What It Means
33:15 Diagnostics for a Richer Life
36:50 Transforming Chores into Pleasures
37:09 Creating Beauty in Everyday Life
43:00 Rekindling the Spark in Relationships
45:26 You Don’t Have to Choose Between Masculine & Beautiful
46:23 The Men You Admire Were Artists Too
46:41 You Can Be a Man and Like Nice Smells
47:00 Patrick on Passion Beyond the Basics
47:58 Entertainment Choices: Quality Over Quantity
52:52 Ted on Reading Smut
53:30 Ted on the Surprising Intimacy of Reading Together
54:52 Patrick & Ted on Unexpected Movie Discoveries and Timeless Soundtracks
56:37 Living in a Rich Media Environment
56:47 Assessing Life and Entertainment Choices
59:15 Outro
Why Men Are Struggling to Make (and Keep) Friends | Ep. 29
jeudi 24 juillet 2025 • Durée 01:04:18
In this episode, Ted and Patrick dive into why it’s so hard for men today to make and keep close friends. From the rise of loneliness to the disappearing social rituals that once held men together, we unpack the crisis facing modern brotherhood.
They also explore real ways men can rebuild connection, step up to the challenge, and find meaningful friendship again. If you’ve been feeling isolated, disconnected, or unsure how to reach out, this conversation is for you.
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Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mandown.podcast/
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🎧New episodes every Tuesday & Thursday - Subscribe & hit the bell so you never miss one.
Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:07 Episode Intro
01:28 Friendship in Your 30s
02:45 The Challenges of Adult Friendships
04:05 Navigating One-Side Friendships
08:50 The Importance of Vulnerability in Friendships
10:40 Being Honest to Save the Friendship
13:02 Some Friendships Drain You More Than They Should
15:00 Building Meaningful Connections
15:19 ManDown & TTF Meet Up
15:55 When Guy Time Gets Replaced by Group Time
17:20 The Impact of Life Changes on Friendships
18:17 Navigating Male Friendships
19:06 The Challenge of Making New Friends
27:35 Ending Friendships and Moving On
30:24 Test the Relationship — See What Happens
32:55 The Awkward Truth About Men Making Friends
35:31 Cultural Shifts in Social Interactions
38:18 The Art of Ending a Friendship (With Style)
40:20 Friendship Isn’t Easy—But It’s Worth It
41:22 TikTok Trend: Men Calling Each Other Good Night
42:17 Calls Over Texts in a Digital World
43:44 Quick Fire Questions (New Podcast Segment)
44:10 Q1 Biggest Waste of Money Ever
48:31 Q2 Most Complimented On
49:09 One Compliment That Scares Ted
50:39 Q3 Do You Believe in Free-Will?
52:20 Q4 Piece of Art You Would Recommend to Anyone
56:52 Q5 Is There A Piece of Art That Everyone Loves, But You Hate
59:46 Q6 What Moment Divides Your Life Into Before and After?
1:02:36 Politics & Religion
1:03:27 Outro
Why You Shouldn’t Be Scared To Start Therapy | Ep. 28
mardi 22 juillet 2025 • Durée 01:00:33
Therapy can be uncomfortable. But avoiding it costs way more.
In this episode, Ted and Patrick break down what holds men back from starting therapy, how to get the most out of it, and what to expect once you’re in the room. Whether you’ve been thinking about going or still feel unsure, this is a good place to start.
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🎧New episodes every Tuesday & Thursday - Subscribe & hit the bell so you never miss one.
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome Intro
00:09 Episode Intro
00:35 The Podcast as Therapy
01:08 Two Perspectives: The Therapist and the Newcomer
01:21 Starting the Conversation on Mental Health
01:47 Why People Resist Therapy
05:38 The Breakdown That Started the Healing
11:30 Men and Emotional Processing
15:30 The Importance of Therapy as a Diagnostic Tool
15:47 Signs You Might Need Therapy
21:08 Navigating Grief and Future Relationships
22:33 The Value of Professional Support
24:20 Communication and Understanding in Therapy
26:15 Understanding Trauma and it's Misuse
29:30 The Role of Therapy in Self-Discovery
30:16 The Therapist-Client Dynamic
35:25 Navigating Emotional Vulnerability
36:16 Self-Reflection and Future Goals
38:30 The Importance of Self-Discovery in Therapy
40:07 Recognising Personal Strengths
41:48 Embracing Emotional Experiences
45:42 The Challenge of Self-Identity
51:15 Building Trust and Repairing Relationships
52:55 The Importance of Hard Conversations
54:30 Therapy as a Tool for Self-Understanding
55:20 Worthy of Love: Rebuilding Self-Worth
58:40 Navigating Therapy: Finding the Right Fit
1:24 Outro
The Friend Zone, Dating Burnout, and Sexual Insecurity | Ep. 27
jeudi 17 juillet 2025 • Durée 53:59
Are we just close friends — or something more?
In this episode, Ted and Patrick dive into the grey areas of modern dating and masculinity, sparked by real questions from our listeners. We unpack what it means when emotional chemistry feels like more than friendship, how to deal with dating burnout, and the unspoken fears many men have around sexual inexperience and insecurity.
Whether you're stuck in the friend zone, tired of being the only one putting in effort, or wrestling with body count anxiety — this one's for you.
Show Notes
Cera Gibson clip credit @ceradaddygibson https://www.youtube.com/shorts/3dFHa31qxQ8
Come as You Are - Book by Emily Nagoski
Follow us on our Socials:
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLzsGH4hM9TxHC4hHPvgMJwX: https://x.com/ManDownPodcastBluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lm4shifbvs6k63eb54k2gmhoInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/mandown.podcast/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mandownpodcast
Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
00:04 Episode Intro
01:14 Reader comment #1 People-Pleasing
08:03 Is the Friend Zone Really a Problem?
01:47 Reader comment #2 Navigating Emotional Intimacy With Friendship
09:51 Reader comment #3 Taking Breaks from Romance and Focusing on Self
11:05 Comment Part 1: Dating Burnout
13:33 Comment Part 2: Dating Expectations vs Reality
16:39 How Ted Approaches Dating
17:50 Cheap Date Ideas
18:32 Don’t put some much pressure on yourself
19:50 Ted’s Two Low-Key Date Ideas
21:37 Rejection Feels Better When You’re True to Yourself
22:27 Reader comment #4 Body Count
24:00 Inexperienced Doesn’t Mean Inadequate
31:08 Why Bigger Isn’t Always Better
38:22 Reader comment #5 Friendship Fallout
41:03 Patrick’s Tips on How To Approach Repairing Broken Friendships
41:52 Ted Thoughts on Approaching Broken Friendships
47:31 Outro
48:31 Broll (Impressions, Accents and Nostalgia)
The Dating App Lie No One Talks About | Ep. 26
mardi 15 juillet 2025 • Durée 01:00:09
Why does dating feel so much harder for men today? In this episode, Ted and Patrick dive into the hidden struggles men face in the age of dating apps and swipe culture — from feeling invisible and overlooked, to battling confusing “rules” and social atrophy that’s making real connection almost impossible.
They break down why dating apps, instead of helping, might actually be making us worse at connecting — and why so many men feel lost and unsure of who to be in modern dating. If you’ve ever felt frustrated by ghosting, “confirm the date” pressures, or just the overwhelming noise of digital romance, this episode is for you.
Finally, they also explore how distorted ideas of masculinity are shaping men’s experiences — and what real, meaningful connection could look like in today’s world.
Follow us on our Socials:
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Show Notes:
slutstack article referenced in the episode https://sluts.substack.com/p/play-stupid-games-win-stupid-prizesJohn Mulaney credit WIRED 2018 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psbIKH5tqiM
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome Intro
00:11 Episode Intro
01:06 Challenges of Real-Life Connection in the Dating World
03:07 The Decline of Dating Apps and Social Engagement
07:11 Why Everyone Feels Like an NPC
12:47 Social Media Controversies in Dating Culture
17:00 Navigating Compatibility and Blind Dates
18:38 The Role of Community in Dating
22:20 Masculinity and the Modern Man
26:00 Gentleness and Emotional Intelligence
30:00 Creating Opportunities for Connection
33:46 Respecting Boundaries and Self-Worth
35:40 The Human Connection in Online Dating
36:44 Tate, the Manosphere, and Faux Masculinity
38:40 Our Real Enemy: Simplistic, Misogynistic Thinking
40:00 What Is a Good Man Anymore?
40:53 Make Yourself the Product — Then Choose Wisely
41:03 Let People Fail You — Then Set Boundaries
42:11 Know Your Value, But Stay Humble
43:27 Do Men Mature Into Tenderness?
44:22 Personal Development and Relationships
46:40 Understanding Fatherhood and Self-Forgiveness
48:26 Finding Role Models and Intentional Living
51:05 Outro
51:38 Broll (Exploring Celebrity Crushes and Kinks, fun vs funny)
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